So You Think You Can Dance: All Pissed Off and No One To Punch

So You Think You Can Dance

By PottyMouth | | 7:15 pm | 17 Comments

I gotta tell you Gasmi, I am not a violent person by nature. But right now? My palms are itching to slap Mia across her bitch ass face. I’ll save the rest of what I have to say about her for later. But hot diggity dog I am P-I-S-S-E-D. And the rest of the judges seem to have caught her nasty bitch disease because there’s a whole lot of jackassery going on tonight. Just thought I’d warn you.

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I hate you and your ASS FACE.  

Welcome to Vegas week! They’ve narrowed it down to 172 dancers, and Cat tells us this is going to be the toughest week of their lives. Welcome to So You Think You Can Dance (dance………dance)! 

It’s day one at 7:00 am, and Cat has her handy dandy megaphone in hand. She tells the gathered dancers that somewhere amongst them is America’s favorite dancer. As she tells them to get in there, I worry for a minute that she’s going to get trampled in the stampede. Happily she survives.

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On the panel for Vegas week are Nigel and Mary (natch), Mia the Cunt, Lil C, Adam Shankman, and “dance legend” Debbie Allen. Nigel starts the day off by giving them a little pep talk, telling them to do their best and enjoy whatever time they get to spend here. The first thing everyone will do is perform a solo for the judges, sort of a reminder to the judges (and us) of why they were chosen in the first place.

Up first is Alex Wong, a dancer with the Miami City Ballet. I was really annoyed in the audition show that they only showed a little snippet of him, but they make up for it here by letting us really see what he can do. Love!

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Double Love! 

Cat tells us that the judges won’t be giving any feedback during the solo round, but that is a crock of shit. They are giving feedback by their reactions and commentary during the dances. I don’t know if the dancers can hear their comments, but I’m sure Alex must have noticed Mia’s multiple orgasms while he was performing. They obviously love him.

Hip Hopper Tony Bellissimo is apparently having some difficulty opening a briefcase. Turns out he is using it for a prop in his solo. He’s dancing to the song that Geico has ruined for me forever with it’s stupid googly-eyed money commercials. You know the one. So the person always watching him apparently is Nigel, and he’s got Nigel’s picture plastered over various props in his dance. It’s a cute idea, but the judges enjoy it far more than I do.

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Tony is followed by a montage of some of the remaining solos.

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By 5:00 pm the solos are over. Nigel calls all the dancers up to the stage and then tells them that no matter how good they may have thought the dancers were in their particular cities, it’s a different story once everyone is lumped together. Seattle immediately comes to mind since it seemed like they were stretching to get anyone out of there. 

He says they were asked earlier if there would be any cuts after the solos, and they had said they didn’t know. They know now. People are going home. Immediately. To stay a dancer only needs the vote of one of the judges. How much would it suck to know that NONE of them wanted to see any more from you? Wow. Talk about heartbreaking. And the cuts begin. 

Nigel does a little fakeout with Tony Bellissimo, saying he has great ideas, but needs to bring his dancing up to match them. Then he tells him to sit back down on his ass. Ugh. Now he’s given hope to every single person whose name he calls. A total of forty-five dancers are cut, including football coach’s son Travis, Chimeze Razu and one of the Fokey girls (the widow). I’m okay with these cuts. I thought they were probably out of their league with this group. 

But day one is not over yet. For those dancers that have survived the cut, it’s time for the first round of choreography. This round will be hip hop with Tabitha and Napoleon. This number looks like so much fun to do. 

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Napoleon says that the bottom line in Vegas is that you gotta shine or you’re out the door. He is so right. The dancers are given an hour to learn the choreography, and Cat says most of the dancers are pumped. Not Gabi Rojas. She’s having some difficulty learning the choreography; she says it’s a little fast for her. Uh oh. I really like her so I’m hoping she can pull it out.

She can’t and doesn’t. It’s obvious from the start of the number that she is hopelessly lost. After the judges deliberate they bring the girls back up on stage. Mia tells them she loves cutting. Because she loves to see people who are not good at what they do go home.

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In that case, I cut you Bitchface. 

Nigel calls Gabi forward, and I think there is no way she’s avoiding getting cut after that dreadful performance. Nigel tells her that the uniqueness of her solo is the only reason she’s staying. That was surprising. Hip hop obviously isn’t her thing, so it’s nice to see them giving her a chance. One of the other girls in her group isn’t so lucky and gets the boot.

We see another montage, this time of various groups doing the hip hop routine. Get used to it because I’m sure this show will be full of montages (among other things). In all thirty-seven people get cut in the hip hop round, leaving ninety-six dancers still in the running.

Day two starts with ballroom. Choreographing this round is Jean-Mark Genereux and France who always reminds me of Bette Midler. Or maybe a Bette Midler impersonator. Anyway, they’ll be doing a waltz. Zzzzzzzzzz Sorry! I actually really like a good waltz but we rarely see anyone who can really pull it off. 

Phillip Chbeeb tells us this is new to him, but he’s enjoying it. I wish I could say the same about watching him do it. I mean, I love this kid, I think he’s got loads of talent, but he is not good at this waltz.  He’s trying, but he’s just so clunky looking in it.

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While he’s dancing, Adam points out to Debbie that Phillip is popping while doing the waltz. I rewind. Adam’s right, he is. Mia calls Phillip forward to tell him it was a little rough. Very rough. But she says she knows he’s going to bust his ass. I’m assuming she means by working to get the styles. His whole group is through to the next round. His partner from the auditions, Arielle Coker, is not so lucky and gets cut. 

Of course the people that actually do ballroom dancing did really well and we see Maksim, Asuka and Ricky each get singled out for praise. Nigel also compliments a couple of non-ballroom people, and then we move on to Nabuya Nagahama. I was thinking that this guy was going to be a total train wreck, but I was dead wrong. He’s doing a good job of it. 

Mary tells him that they’re all very impressed by him. I think they were expecting him to fall on his face in this genre also. Nobuya is so happy to have made it through that he breaks down in tears. Awww, someone get him a hanky. 

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Don’t use your sleeve! 

He’s adorable. First he apologizes for crying, then he talks about how he had five months (I’m assuming between auditions and Vegas week?) so he took as many classes as he could. “I messed up every class but my teachers helping me a lot. It’s all to them. I can’t, I couldn’t make it by myself.” Adorable

So it’s good news for Nobuya, but for sixteen other dancers, waltz was their last dance. Everyone else is moving on to jazz with Sonya. Cat tells us that Sonya is pushing the dancers with her routine, and it does look to be a challenging one. Chbeeb tells us it’s not really his style, so he’s just gonna let loose out there and see what happens. Let it rip, Chbeeb!

It looks like people are getting hurt left and right including one guy that tells us he kicked himself in the face. Think about how limber you have to be to do that. Yeouch. There are two dancers however that are thriving. Natalie and Brandon. Squee! I love them both so much. They are killing it. To the point that Sonya calls them out to demonstrate to the group how to do the routine.

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This is how you do the choreography 

Time to perform for the judges. Natalie and Brandon are not paired up for this part, and are in different groups. Natalie’s up first. She’s not as good as she was when she did the demo with Brandon, but on her worst possible day she’s still better than a lot of the other girls they have there. She’ll be okay. I’m sure of it.

Mary tells Natalie that when they saw her solo the judges thought she was going to definitely be in the top twenty. Without a doubt. “I’m sorry Natalie. This is the end of the journey for you.”  WHAT?!?!?!?!? What the fuck just happened? Did I hear this right? They’re cutting her? WHAT a load of SHIT

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I will never understand 

Everyone is floored by this. The dancers are bawling like someone killed their best friend, and they know that if this girl is going to get cut, no one is safe. I’m so pissed off right now I can’t see straight. Natalie tells us she did her best but it wasn’t good enough. She says it much nicer than that. And she’s sad because she feels like she disappointed the judges. 

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You are bastard people.  

Brandon is really broken up about Natalie getting cut, but he needs to put that aside because his group is up. I think he did a good job, but then again, I thought Natalie did too. (I’m sorry, I’ll try not to keep harping on this for the rest of the show, I’m just super pissed right now.) Lil C asks Brandon to step forward. He tells Brandon from his solo on he has not been impressed. Ohmygod you guys, I seriously might lose my shit. Mia agrees. She is not a fan.

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Right back atcha! 

She says she’s had to hear all year about how brilliant he is and how much he’s grown, but she doesn’t see it. At all. Try getting a prescription for those fake ass glasses on your face then. Nigel says he understands where his colleagues are coming from, but he wants to add that he thinks Brandon is brilliant. Thank you Nigel. He also believes that Brandon is one of the best dancers they’ve ever had on the show, and he will stick up for him as long as he believes that. Where were you for Natalie, Nigel? (sorry) Nigel tells him not to lose any confidence from what has been said to him because he is “bloody fantastic.”

After that Mia tells the whole group that they’re going through. So I guess the point of that was to tear Brandon down and make him feel like crap? It’s such Bull. I need to clear my head for a minute because my blood is still boiling.

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Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh. I needed that. 

It looks like jazz was good for most of the dancers as they show group after group of people getting put through to the next round. Before you know it, it’s 7:30 pm and there’s only one group left to perform. Gabi Rojas is in this group. She feels like she’s got it. She doesn’t. She’s off-beat. While she’s dancing Lil C and Mia are talking about how bad she is and how can she be so bad. I don’t think she’s terrible, but compared to everyone else in her group, she did stick out like a sore thumb.

She sort of collapses after the routine, and I think she knows it wasn’t as good as it needs to be. Nigel looks pained about this. He says to Debbie, “Damn. My favorite unique dancer is not good.” Debbie speaks to the dancers, telling them that some were wonderful but there has been real disappointment in this group. Then she calls Gabi forward to lay into her. Debbie says she’s breaking her heart. Her solo was amazing, but she’s faltering right now and such a disappointment at this moment. “And it hurts us to be that wrong.” This is so painful to watch. 

Nigel sends the other girls from her group through to the next round. She is not going through. She will need to dance for her life. I need to take a little aside here. That term “dance for your life” cracks me up every time. It’s so melodramatic. I always picture in my head some Gestapo type person with a shotgun yelling out to them. “Now you vill dance for your life. Dance. I tell you! Dance! Dance!”

Sorry. So Gabi will need to dance for her life and then the judges will vote. She needs three yes votes to move forward. But they won’t be basing their votes on her solo only; they will be including in their thoughts the routines she sucked at. But not really. She does her solo, and she is great to watch even if she can’t do anyone else’s choreography.

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Time to vote. Mia is first. She says she can’t let Gabi go, she’s a gem. “But you gotta do something more than just this.” Lil C votes yes, saying that is how you dance for your life. “That was buck.” Mary votes yes, as does Adam, not that it even matters since she already has the three votes she needs to move forward. Debbie tells her yes and says “Thank you for reminding us who you really are.”

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Shut up Debbie 

It’s unanimous. She’s moving forward into the next round. Nigel thinks the program would be a lot less without her being a part of it. But she needs to be able to pick up the styles of the people choreographing her. I’m just going to make one more comment about the Natalie topic and then I promise to leave it behind and move on with my life. Where was Natalie’s chance to dance for her life? I really really don’t understand what happened with her. Did she do terribly in hip hop and ballroom and we just weren’t shown that? If that’s the case, I wish they would have shown it. I’d be a lot less pissed off about the way that whole thing went down if it looked like it made any sort of sense. And now, I promise, no more mention of it.

Seven other dancers DO get cut, including cutie-pie popper Sammy Ramirez. Awwww. I liked him a lot. At this point we’re left with seventy-three dancers and it’s time for the group round. The judges will break them up into groups (much fairer than letting them pick their own) and then they will randomly pick a CD that they will be dancing to. They have all night. Cat’s awesome here giving them a little pep talk while explaining what’s happening. I love that about her as a host. She seems to genuinely care about these kids. 

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While you’re all working on your dances, I’ll go kick the shit out of Mia for you. 

Some of the dancers stay up all night, some choose to go to bed. All of the groups have worked hard, but some of them haven’t worked well together. It’s 7:00 am and they’re all filing back into the theater to present their routines to the judges. 

Nigel starts out the day by giving one of his talks. This time he’s telling the dancers that a lot of people think that this round doesn’t mean anything. Wrong! They will still be cut if they are not good enough. First group, let’s go! How much would you NOT want to be the first group after that speech? Hope they’re good!

The first group includes Erik “Silky” Moore the tap dancer from Miami who auditioned to “Thriller”. Looks like this group had some difficulty last night. People were clashing and not getting along. He says they’re all so different in their dancing and they all have different ideas going on. It looks like instead of trying to incorporate and rif off their different styles, they’re just fighting for control and bumping heads. And then instead of trying to work it out, they go to bed. That’s never good.

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They are not good. At all. 

Nigel says that was a very poor start to the morning. He says it stank and was horrific. Debbie can’t believe that they couldn’t keep the beat. Mary says it’s clear that they can’t work together. Mia asks if they went to bed last night feeling secure, and the annoying little pixie haired girl is shaking her head no. Then why did you go to sleep? Because they couldn’t get anywhere. I can understand that. I mean I think at some point if no one’s budging or willing to compromise the best you can do is go to bed and hope that you’re good enough to get through.

Two of the girls get sent home (not Pixie), and Erik is told that he will be dancing for his life later in the day. He’ll take that! Lil C tells Pixie she should not have gone to sleep last night and she shouldn’t have let her team go to sleep, but she’s going through. She annoys me.

Hey! I just realized we haven’t seen annoying umbrella boy at all. I wonder whatever happened to him. Oh wait. I don’t really care. Never mind.

It appears that this group isn’t the only one that was terrible. Adam tells one group they were so “Convention 101″. “Like Barf.” Ouch. Mia tells a group that they had bad choreography and bad dancing. Really bad dancing. Another gets the honor of being the worst routine that they’ve seen. THE WORST. Will anyone ever be good again?

Time for Brandon’s group. The judges seem to enjoy it. Mary says it was a lot of fun, but Brandon was watching the other dancers and she wants him to just know he knows it. Mia says she’s still waiting for him to prove her wrong. “And I keep looking over there because you know me, I’m a cutter, and I will cut you, right?” As she’s saying this, poor Brandon is just standing there, listening to her spouting her nastiness at him AGAIN. 

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I thought Cat said she was gonna kick your ass last night. 

THEN she says to him that she doesn’t know why he’s smiling. Could I possible HATE her any more right now?!?! Nigel says there was no one in the group that stood out as being bad, which for this morning appears to be a good thing. Adam says this is the first group where he saw people fighting. Not fisticuffs, but fighting to win.  They’re all safe. 

Cat tells us that marked a turning point in the morning. We get another montage, this time of routines that the judges liked. There’s one group that does a move that looks like the guy is kicking the girl in the face. What’s with all the kicking in the face in Vegas?

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I wish that was Mia 

And then they reach the final group. Whoopie cushion tapper Ryan Kasprzak is in this group along with a bunch of people we haven’t seen too much of before. They have called their group Nerdography. Ryan tells the judges that Webster’s dictionary defines nerdography as “a spontaneous explosion of dance that occurs when a nerd simultaneously hears a sweet tune and sees a hot girl.” We see snippets of them from the night before, and they are the polar opposite of the first group. They seemed to have worked well together and felt really confident before turning in to bed.

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What a fun dance. They made sure to not overdo the “nerd” aspect and really showed off that they had personality, but also could really bust a move. This routine made me smile. They even put some stepping in there. Nigel thinks they’re terrific. Adam welled up because they made him miss dancing.

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Awwwwwwww 

Nigel grabs a tissue and pretends he’s crying and Adam says, “Don’t you make fun of me you English bastard.” Hee. That was cute. That’s what so great about this show though. When the dancers are on and really doing well, they can get to you like that. There are times I’m sitting watching and they make me miss dancing SO much. And then I eat another cookie and the pain goes away. Obviously they’re all through.

Sixty-eight dancers are moving on to the next round. Silky hopes to add himself to that number. Time for him to dance for his life. He does his thing, and he’s good. I still like him, he’s got great clean sounds, and he ends in this crazy move of a back layout flip right onto his belly. That was sick. Time to vote. Mia says no. Nigel says no. Hey! Shouldn’t he wait until it’s his turn? Debbie votes no. He now needs every other judge to say yes in order to move on. Lil C says he’s not ferocious enough for him, so it’s a no. With that, Silky is cut. 

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Bye Silky. Come back again

It’s lunchtime on day 3 and Ryan is nervous because they’ve served baked beans for lunch. Apparently he loves them. But they have Mia’s round of choreography next, so he’s worried that the combination could be disastrous. I hope he lets out a wicked fart right in her face.

Mia tells us she expects a lot from them. Everything really. She wants them to bring their own being into the work. Except for when she hates their being, I guess. She admonishes them not to give her empty steps. “That is when my horns will come out.” I hate to break it to you, but your horns are always out. Snippets of people telling us how hard this is. And then a shot of Tony Bellissimo goofing around. Cat tells us the judges have been impressed with him so far. How will he do now?

He tells us he feels shaken and nervous. “I’m about to go into the lion’s den with blood all over me.” One thing I will say is that he does give it his all. He’s running a bit ahead of everyone else which is most probably because he is nervous. Mary says he has his own quirky little style up there, but he needs to pull the dancing up and it’s just not good enough. He’s not being moved into the next round, but they are going to give him a second chance to do the choreography. What. The. Fuck? 

Okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to mention a certain something again, so I won’t. But really? Some people dance for their lives, other AWESOME dancers are just cut without warning, and now he gets to go practice and come back to try again?!? I just don’t get it. I have nothing against him. He seems like a sweet kid, and he really tried. I just don’t get what the judges are doing. And it’s really aggravating me.

Tony seems baffled by this as well. He tells us that they’ve cut some people that are much better than him. See? He’s a sweet kid, and I wish him the best, I’m just annoyed by the arbitrary judging. We see some other people get cut including Nobuya whose time has finally come. 

Cat tells us that the contemporary round is turning into a bloodbath, but at least the Kinney sisters have each other. Uh oh. That makes me think that won’t be the case for very much longer. Megan’s group dances first. Nigel tells her a lot of people liked her. He himself was wishy washy about her, but she’s going through to the next round. 

She tells us Caitlin is definitely going to make it through. “Because if she doesn’t that’s really dumb.” Way to jinx your sister Megan! 

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Awww, cute sister moment 

I knew it! She jinxed her. Caitlin is off. Really really off. Crap. This is not good. She gets lost in a couple of parts, and you can tell she knows just how bad that was. Nigel calls her forward. She didn’t get enough votes, but they’re going to ask her to dance for her life. Right now.

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She really is a lovely dancer. She’s got great lines, and unlike in her original audition, she didn’t put too much acro in it. I really hope they keep her. Nigel thinks it was old fashioned, and he thinks that’s what has let her down in this round. But she gets his vote. She gets Debbie’s vote too. Mia votes no. Lil C votes no. And then she gets a no from Adam! It’s all up to Mary now. Mary says she knows how hard Caitlin has fought, but that really wasn’t great. She sees a fighter in her, and potential, and so she votes yes. Caitlin is shocked. Wow. I thought she was a goner for sure.

Moving on to another set of siblings. The Kasprzak brothers. I love these guys so much.

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Could they be any cuter? 

Ryan says they didn’t come to Vegas to go home. They came for the top twenty. They are going to break my heart, because I just KNOW there is no way in hell both of these guys are going to make it. I want them to. They deserve to. But they won’t. I can’t even pick which one I want over the other. I love them both.  

Ryan’s group is first. While he’s dancing, Mia comments to Lil C about how “in it” he is. Mary calls Ryan forward. Mary says they think he’s adorable (me too!) and they think he nailed it, so he’s moving on. Phew! Will Evan follow him into the next round? Evan’s group is up, and the cameraman doesn’t even bother to pan to anyone else. They give us a shot of Ryan watching him and just beaming

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Mia asks Evan to do one good flea hop for her. 

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She tells him to go all the way around, keep going. “Go, go, go, go, go, go…..all the way off the stage. You’re staying.” Yay!! The brothers hug and I can’t stop smiling. We see some dancers have very emotional reactions to making it through this round. And I will say this about Mia, I don’t care for her personality, but there is something about the type of movement she does that I think can really tap into the dancer’s emotions. I’ve taken classes with people who’ve tapped into something really raw and strong, and it’s something to see. Of course some of them may just be crying because they thought they were gonna get cut.

We’re nearing the end of the round, and I had actually forgotten about Tony Bellissimo’s second chance. He takes the stage with the final group, and he doesn’t do any better than last time. In fact, I think he actually did worse. Debbie calls him forward, and he is just bawling. Christ! He’s making me tear up. Debbie says he kinda let them down. “Every time you come on the stage you give us so much joy. It’s almost like you have so much character that it doesn’t matter what your dancing is. But this time it really does matter.” He got enough votes to go through to the next round.

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He’s so emotional that he has Adam tearing up, and Debbie says she’s going to start crying if he doesn’t stop. Mia says she can’t take it and that she quits. Oh if only she was serious. I would be crying tears of joy. Tony tells Cat he loves dance more than anything and he wants to show the judges that. She loves it when fully grown men cry.

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You should spend more time with Mia. I bet she makes fully grown men cry on a daily basis. 

Thus ends day three. At the end of the Mia round, thirteen more dancers were cut.

Last day. By the end of the day the judges will have decided on the top twenty. Of course we won’t find that out until the next episode, but the decisions will be made. The dancers have heard rumors about what may be coming next with one dumbass thinking that they’re going to have to act. The Kasprzak brothers saw Tyce in the elevator, so they have correctly deduced that it will be Broadway for the final round of choreography. 

They’re gonna split up the girls and guys and do an all girl’s routine in the morning, and then a guy’s routine later in the afternoon. Tyce is choreographing and he’ll be doing West Side Story. He says that as a dancer you need to know about West Side Story, and if you don’t that’s a little sketchy. I love West Side Story. There’s a revival of it currently on Broadway that I’m dying to see. Hopefully it won’t close before I get a chance to get in there to see it.

While the girls are inside working hard, the boys are playing by the pool. It’s nice that they actually get to have a little fun for a few hours.

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No roughhousing by the pool, boys! 

Inside the girls are working their asses off. I never knew Debbie Allen played Anita! I always think of Chita Rivera. He’s using “I like to be in America” and the dance looks super fun and high energy.  Cat tells us the judges won’t be making any decisions until they’ve seen all the girls perform. We see a montage of the groups performing, including Priscilla falling over at the end. She recovers very cutely though, and strikes a little pose.  

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Points for that, Priscilla

Decision time. Nearly half the girls will be heading home after this cut. Oof. What’s worse? Getting cut in the beginning, or making it almost to the very end and then getting cut? Nigel calls a group of girls onto the stage, including girl tapper Bianca Revels. He thanks them for all their hard work, and then tells them this is the end of the road for them. Nigel says the judges hope that they will keep improving and keep training. They’d love to see them again with their improvements. 

Bianca thinks they made a mistake. But you learn from your mistakes, so….. So what? I’m confused. Is she saying that they’ll learn from the mistake she thinks they’ve made, or that she’s made a mistake and has something to learn? She says she will not be coming back next year, this was her last year to do this. She is so lucky Nigel can’t hear her right now because I think he would give her an earful about that. She says, “I’m not one to come back three, four, five, six years and not know why I wasn’t picked the first two or three.” I hate to tell you this Bianca, but when you got out on auditions no one ever tells you why they didn’t pick you. Most of the time they don’t even tell you you didn’t get it, you just know because you never hear from them. What a crap attitude. Now I’m glad she didn’t make it.

The cuts keep coming as Gabi Rojas, Priscilla, Megan Kinney along with several others also get sent on their way. Gabi tells us she’s just so happy to finally feel like a real dancer. She feels like this show has pushed her to be so much stronger than she’s ever been. I really hope she comes back again. After maybe taking some more classes. Megan Kinney is sad to go, but happy that her sister makes it through. In all sixteen girls are left and they will have to perform a solo before the judges make their final decision.

Time for the girls to have some fun in the sun while the guys work with Tyce.

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For those of you that prefer women.

Inside the boys are working with Tyce and he’s not going easy on them either. Phillip Chbeeb tells us he is out of his element, and another dude tells us Tyce is kicking their asses hard. At one point he says to someone, “Look if you can’t get that I’m a little nervous for ya.” In the blink of an eye the rehearsal is over and it’s time for the guys to strut their stuff.

The Kasprzak brothers are in the first group. This should be a cakewalk for them. They call themselves the Broadway brothers. I don’t normally like it when people give themselves nicknames, but here it’s perfect so I won’t hold it against them. They’re dancing to “Cool”, and unsurprisingly the brothers kill it. Once both groups have gone the judges caucus.

Nigel calls a group of the boys onto the stage. Nigel tells them they’ve done a great job so far, the judges think they’re fantastic which is why their there today, but they are being cut. He tells them they hope to see them again next year. 

The rest of the guys are called up onto the stage. Nigel tells them they have ten minutes to get themselves together. The choreography is over. They have one last chance to impress with their final solo attempt. We see a montage of some of the solos, and then it’s time for the judges to make their final decision.

Jeanette’s going to be the first to find out f she made it or not, but that’s not until tomorrow night’s show. Tune in to the next recap to find out who makes it to the top twenty.  And. Mia’s an even bigger asshole. I didn’t think it was possible.

See you soon!

SWAK, PottyMouth

 

 

 

PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

17 Comments

  1. 1
    Lizbot
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 1:54 am

    OMG, I wanted to smack Mia too!

    And I think the reason Natalie got cut so fast (that pissed me off too) is that the judges never had any intention of letting her into the top 20. She was fodder for the Katee drama last year (two roommates vying for the last spot) but I bet they feel like she’s not pretty enough for tv (I think she’s beautiful in her own right, but I’m not a shallow tv exec). I think they saw their chance to cut her and weren’t going to risk her giving an undeniably amazing DFYL to make us all go WTF even louder than we already are.

    I knew that they would pick Evan over Ryan for the same reasons — Evan is just more camera ready (even though Ryan is equally, if not more awesome). And how much do you want to bet that if Ryan tries out next year they’ll cut him the first chance they get using whatever excuse they can drum up.

  2. 2
    Lizbot
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 1:56 am

    Oh, and I love Lil C, but he needs to stay the hell away from Mia! She’s infecting him with her evil bitchitude. I hope he returns to normal once they’re no longer joined at the hip at the deluxe judging table…

  3. 3
    pixiegal262
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 2:26 am

    Everyone’s thinking it so I’m gonna say it: Natalie has ‘tard teeth. I’m sorry. But her front upper mouth area resembles that of someone whose teeth are too big for their mouth and she has a severe overbite.

    Not that it should matter, but have you noticed that there are never any ugly people who make it on to the show? Why do you think they kept giving miss “can’t dance any style but her own” so many chances? She’s adorable.

    Why do you think they let that guy through who can’t really dance? Because he’s hot and likable. They want people to watch the show and vote for people.

    Tween girls are gonna vote for the cute guy and the non-threateningly pretty girl.

    Poor Natalie just isn’t conventionally pretty enough to be on tv.

  4. 4
    ohhhyeah
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 3:24 am

    I love this show! It’s the one competition show on television that features actual talent.

    I enjoyed Vegas week, but missed the lack of drama it usually brings out in the contestants. What’s with all these dancers getting along? It’s like they’re good people or something. To make up for it the editors showed plenty of crying. I understand that this is their passion and making it to the top twenty would be a huge break for the dancers, but come on, man up a little!

    Still love the show and the dancers though. *sniff* now I’m getting choked up.

    It was something of a shock that Natalie was cut – and so early. The judges did say though, that they were disappointed in her throughout the rounds and that they just couldn’t keep pulling for her. Since they didn’t show footage of her dancing in prior routines it’s very possible that she really wasn’t coming up to standard, and even you admitted (and I also noticed) that she didn’t do as well in the judging performance as she did in practice. I’m just trying to give the judges some credit, because they don’t gain anything from cutting talented, well liked dancers for no reason.

    And then they show the Gabi clips and my faith in the judges erodes. After performance number one, “You were horrible, but we liked your solo so you can stay.” After performance number two, “My gag reflex was working overtime. You have to understand that you are such a disappointment to us right now. But we remember your solo so you can stay.” After performance number three, “You’re making us question our career choice after having to watch that performance. There is nothing there… nothing. You’re killing us, you are such a disappointment.” (Please god just let them fucking cut her! Seriously, I’m not a dancer and even I can see she sucks ass. This is such bullshit!!!) “We are giving you one more chance. (Nooooooo!) Dance your solo and give us any excuse at all to keep you here (even though you can’t pick up choreography, which is the end-all, be-all of this show so this charade makes less and less sense).” “We knew you could do it. You’ve justified our faith in you, we just can’t let you go.” (Urgg.)

    Still love the show and the dancers though. Well, not all of them but you get my drift. I even like the judges for the most part. Anyone else notice that Mary hasn’t screamed except once (I think) so far for all of the audition process? I actually like Mary when she isn’t screaming – hate her when she is. I know it’s probably too much to hope for once the top twenty competition begins though.

    Methinks Mia has a god complex. It’s been too long since she has had to audition for something or since everyone one around her wasn’t kissing her ass and telling her how much of a genius she is. That said, I find her entertaining… yes, an entertaining cunt, but entertaining nonetheless.

    My favorite dancer is still Caitlin Kinney, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she is smokin’ hot. Ok, I admit it might influence me a little, but I do think the girl can dance (aside from her forgetting Mia’s routine and the STAGED vote by the judges on whether or not she should stay).

    I’m really liking the top 20 this year, and think it’s going to be a great season.

    Oh yeah, I also think your writing style is superb PottyMouth.

  5. 5
    Tadow
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 7:12 am

    I agree with all of you who were upset about Natalie being cut. I was looking forward to watching her dance this season and remember her audition from last year being awesome too. I think the idea that she’s not pretty enough is crap. She’s plenty cute in her own way and watching her dance was great. I can think of a few less than attractive male dancers that went through.

    I usually love Mia, her choreography is some of the best on the show. Well, aside from that crap she put together in memory of her father that no one would really critique. She’s often good for a laugh or two, but I’ve found her unbearable this season as well. I agree with the god complex suggestion. She went from saying that she loves strong male dancers to ripping Brandon apart? I don’t get it. I still remember when she yelled at the dancers for being so neeedy, and hope she gets over her bitch moment fast.

    Thanks for another great recap, looking forward to reading them over the season :)

  6. 6
    chibby
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 7:14 am

    I don’t think Evan can come back next year. He’ll be over the age limit. I was disappointed. Although I do think Evan is worthy of going through, i think his brother was better. and I think Nigel just wanted Evan there now before he starts losing his hair.
    I didn’t really like Natalee. I guess as a non-dancer, i don’t see the subtle nuances. but I keep hearing she’s great, so i guess she’s great. I didn’t even think Katee stood out until she started doing the choreography.
    Pottymouth, I love your recap! it’s nice to hear it from a dancer’s perspective coz I didn’t even know Natalee did not so great when she was on stage. i just thought it was all great and then she got cut. and I may not like her as much as everyone else, but I do agree that was just pure horse shit! oh and btw, wtf on that hip hopper going through. I didn’t even like his hiphop.

  7. 7
    yentapatrol
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 7:16 am

    Darling Pottymouth;
    I have to admit that I have never watched this show. I know, I know–bad couch potato! But, really, I’ve never been much of a dance fan. HOWEVER, I am loving your recaps. Seriously, the network should pay you. I can’t believe that I’m the only tuning into the show AFTER reading your recaps.
    Hugs,
    Yenta

  8. 8
    tv freak
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 7:36 am

    To all who said there hasn’t been any ugly people to make the top 20, if I remember correctly, season 1 had a big man in the top 20.

  9. 9
    Emmyloo
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 9:57 am

    I agree with you all about Natalie, and I thought the fact that one of the brothers was cut was bull*&^%. Six out of the ten girls are contemporary, but they can’t have two broadway dancers? Give me a break! I don’t get the hip hop guy, either. The suitcase routine was lame, unfunny, and most importantly, had NO DANCING. I’m not sure why the judges found it so hilarious. I can’t dance a lick, but I guess I’ll head to the auditions this Fall with a picture of Nigel taped to my ass. Look for me in the top 20!

  10. 10
    Tadow
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Oh Yenta! you absolutely must watch this show now, as another nondancer I assure you it is very entertaining, especially now that we’re past the auditions :)

    I think the big man on the first season was Alan, I think they still use him in the intro (from the waist down) at one point, at least they used to. He was a bigger guy, but he wasn’t unattractive. But to each his own, I personally was thinking more along the lines of Benji and Gev, although Gev grew on me a bit. Ahhh, I can hear the benji/gev fans with their pitchforks now!

  11. 11
    Lizbot
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 10:36 am

    TV Freak and Tadow — I think there’s a bit of a double standard when it comes to male and female attractiveness for tv. I mean I think there’s a standard producers use for selecting males, I just think it’s wider than the standard they use for women. Like Tadow said, Alan was big but not unattractive. Notice, however, that they will never allow a female that big to make it into the top 20, no matter how attractive or talented she might be. And they haven’t let a male that big in since season 1 for that matter.

    That said, I do have to give the show credit for not using as tight a standard of attractiveness as many other shows on tv use. Most of the contestants look like attractive people you would pass on the street, not like genetically modified supermodels with no body weight.

    Still, it burns me up that they dumped Natalie so unceremoniously and gave other more tv-ready dancers chance after chance for much worse performances. I loved Gabi and wish she had made it, but really? The contrast between how they treated her and Natalie was glaring. And I wish Sonya had stood up for her from the back and let them know how amazing she was in rehearsals and it was probably Mia’s evil glaring that set her off. Well, at least she won’t be subjected to weeks of Mia-abuse like that poor girl who had the misfortune to be paired with Will did last year…

  12. 12
    cattyfan
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 11:18 am

    PottyMouth…”jackassery” may be one of the best words ever. I have immediately added it to my vocabulary, so…thank you.

    Let me say, I am NOT a fan of Mia’s. I find her choreography repetative and predictable. (The body as rubber, jiggle…the flying leap of a woman into a guy’s arms, then going limp…blah blah blah.) Because it’s so predicatable, I don’t feel any emotion from her numbers. And she’s a nasty bitch.

    I also hate that one of the brothers got cut…especially since it was the one with the experience in choreography. Maybe they felt it would give him too much of an advantage. But I agree with the poster who pointed out the horrible imbalance of too many “contemporary” dancers versus everything else. I would enjoy the show if there were a better variety of styles, especially when it comes to the “dance for your life, or we’ll shoot you” solos.

    Also, Tyce didn’t choreograph the West Side Story number per se…he staged it. The choreography (as noted correctly in the credits) was that of Jerome Robbins…a REAL genius when it comes to dance (as opposed to Mia.) He choreographed the original Broadway production, restaged it for the movie, and the new version on Broadway also uses his original choreography. He was that good. If you get a chance, watch the movie and look at the different genres he incorporated…salsa, ballroom (both Latin and classic,) ballet, and full out Broadway, among others. And I’m guessing the brothers were already familiar with it, which is why it came so easily. (That isn’t a criticism of them. Most people in theatre or classical dance are usually familiar with that particular choreography.) I was glad to see them use something “old school,” which in many ways is more challenging than some of the newer choreography.

  13. 13
    fire@will
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Great recap.

    OMG! Natalie! But I think Lizbot was spot on.

    The choreography round is so random – random partners, random CD and, most importantly, random whether you had a great choreographer (Ryan) in your group.

    I don’t get Mia’s attitude toward Brandon. Does he remind her of some guy from junior high, or what? And she is dragging others into it. Judge favorites – what is this… American Idol?

    I knew they’d pick Evan – both because he was more camera ready and because they really liked him last year.

    I wish they’d hire Ryan to do choreography – or maybe he could star in a musical about Jimmy Durante. I hope he doesn’t get “down” about it. That WOULD be sad.

    I don’t even THINK I can dance… but I took years of karate, so I appreciate what amazing feats (feets?)these people can do – and how quickly they learn complex new routines.

    I’m sure they’d like to have fairly fixed height limits for both boys and girls – which is probably true in real world auditions. Having an awkwardly matched parter can really present a challenge.

    Despite its flaws, I love this show!

  14. 14
    Slumrville slumrville
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Great recap!!! And thank you for continuing the trend of incorporating Hugh Jackman as Wolverine cameos!!! LOVE!!!

  15. 15
    georgiababe
    Posted June 7, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    I haven’t even read the recap, but the first paragraph already has me nodding my head in fervent agreement.

    What the HELL is up with Mia?! Seriously, that woman is so majorly talented, why is she such a giant bitch?

    Personally, I think it’s jealous. I think she’s extremely insecure about the fact that she’s old and no longer possesses a dancer’s body, so she hates people who are hotter and more talented than her. That is my only reasoning for her unexplained hatred.

  16. 16
    PottyMouth
    Posted June 9, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Lizbot: I hope Lil C has an exorcism scheduled to remove Mia’s evil taint before the performance rounds start!

    pixiegal262: Ouch! I think there are some people who I would not consider attractive that have made it. There is definitely a double standard concerning the looks of the girls vs. guys.

    ohhhyeah: I also love the show, warts and all. I don’t know if Mia has a god complex or if it’s jealousy as other commenters have mentioned, but whatever it is it’s unprofessional and uncalled for. I wish laryngitis on her.

    Tadow: I think a lot of people were disappointed by Natalie’s cut and if she was cut for not being pretty enough that’s such a load of crap. How often do you see dancers in close up when they’re not on this show? You can be beautiful on the outside and be an ugly person. Ugh. I’ll shut up now.

    chibby: You mean Tony, right? I agree. His solo was more mugging and running around on the stage than actual dancing. It’ll be interesting to see how he does.

    Yenta: Awww, you are too kind. But I’m glad you’re tuning in! I love dance so much I try to get everyone I know to watch!!

    tv freak: Yep. That was Alan, but he wasn’t unattractive, just a big guy. That whole first season was a little wacky. That guy stayed around for much longer than he should have, and I think he was the reason that they changed the format to the judges deciding who goes instead of the audience.

    Emmyloo: Hahaha “ I bet you’d get on TV if you did that! I totally agree about the brothers.

    Tadow: They can come after me with the pitchforks too because those guys are FUG. And annoying to boot.

    Lizbot: How great would it have been if Sonya had jumped up and went on a rant about Natalie being cut?

    cattyfan: Heh. I’m glad I could help you expand your vocabulary :P Thanks for pointing out that the Broadway choreography was not Tyce’s. I had not meant to imply that it was, but then I did. I agree that anyone not familiar with Jerome Robbins’ work should check it out “ he was an amazing choreographer.

    fire@will: It would be great if they would bring Ryan in to choreograph! It’ll be interesting to see how they pair the dancers up “ you are right about the challenges of an awkward pairing.

    slumrville: Hahaha. You’re welcome.

    georgiababe: Yeah “ her attitude pisses me off royally.

    Can’t wait to see what the performance rounds bring us! Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts “ I love hearing everyone’s opinions “ especially when you give me something to think about that I hadn’t before.

    SWAK, PottyMouth

  17. 17
    Baffled
    Posted June 25, 2009 at 9:28 am

    Posting way late, but wasn’t this the episode where Nigel told Mia – at the very end – to please be nicer to the dancers? It was on one of her PMS days. Oh, wait. That would be EVERY day! Anyway, if it WAS on the first or second day she judged the tryouts, it didn’t take. She was still hateful on the last day. Mary was my hero that day!

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