So You Think You Can Dance: These Are Your Girls……..And These Are Your Guys

Tonight we find out who will be the top twenty for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance). This is always the episode of the season that’s sort of a snooze for me. I mean, there’s only so many ways you can tell someone they’re in or out. On a separate note, Mia is still a bitch.

You heard me. 

We pick up tonight with Cat giving us a brief overview of Vegas week thus far. Then she shows off the snazzy hallway the dancers get to walk down on their way to finding out whether or not they’ve made the top twenty.

Anyone need a new TV? 

The same judges that have presided over Vegas week will be breaking the news to the dancers hoping to make the grade. Oh Yay! More Mia. I can never get enough of her. The dancers are sitting back in a holding area backstage waiting to find out their fate. 

Who are you? Security! 

Cat tells us that one by one they’ll be called into a separate room where they will reflect on their week. BO-ring. It was hard. Blah blah blah. I’ve grown so much. I really hope I make it. Just get to it already!

Janette is up first. I’m sure she’ll get through since she’s one of the ballroom girls we’ve been focusing on and there always seem to be a shortage of them. Janette tells us the weeks before she came to Vegas were rough. She got into an accident and her boyfriend and her broke up. She thinks it would be nice to get some good news. She says if they tell her no it will kill her. So the medics need to be ready. 

Nigel tells her he remembers how she brightened the day in Miami. How full of suck it was before she came out and wowed them. He babbles on a little more and then tells her she is in the top twenty.

She tells the judges how she’s been needing good news and about how her boyfriend broke up with her. Is it mean that I just want her to shut up and go? Nigel thinks her boyfriend is crazy. I think Nigel is a perv. For about the four thousandth time.

Next up is Diana Varden. She part of one of the montages during auditions (I don’t remember which one), and she’s got her lucky monkey with her. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say she won’t make the cut. They’re not going to show us two people in a row going through this early in the hour. She has a really cute moment in the holding room, talking about how everyone in the room is so amazing, but then she thought, “I’m sitting here with them so maybe I’m just as amazing.”

She heads out onto the stage to find out her fate. Debbie asks how she is feeling. What a dumb question. How the hell do you think she feels Debbie? Just tell her if she’s in or out. They blow smoke up her ass about seeing potential in her, and then tell her she didn’t make it. Obviously she’s upset.

I don’t know if I can take this for an hour 

Lil C tells her sometimes you have to be honest with yourself that you weren’t good enough. But that’s where the progression can come from. Nigel says that she’s a better dancer now than when she came to Vegas and she has to keep building in that. “See you next season.” And this is one of the things I do like about this show. They encourage people to go take more classes, improve and try again. 

Time for one of the guys. Vitolio Jeune tells us his stress level is so high that his guts are fighting. “Diarrhea moment.” Dude! That is TMI. 

I might possibly poop on you. 

He tells us that a lot of people expected a lot from him because of where he comes from. He grew up in Haiti, and his mom died when he was five. He went to live with his grandmother, but she didn’t have a job, so she had to put him and his brother in an orphanage. Holy Crap! He left the orphanage when he was fifteen, and has been on his own since then. With a back story like that I’m guessing he’s going to get through.

Lil C tells him that he really didn’t come to life for them until the group routines when they did their own choreography. Turns out he was in Ryan’s group – the nerdography one. I liked them, but I don’t remember him at all. Anyway, he makes the top twenty. 

Dude, you made it. Quit yer bawling. 

Cat tells us that unfortunately for the next half hour it was nothing but bad news.

Am I supposed to be sad?  I don’t even know these people. 

Cat says that after so many dancers have been rejected (uh, three Cat, THREE) Kayla Radomski is hoping for good news. In case you’ve forgotten her, Kayla was the girl that showed up to the auditions with her grandparents. Her grandpa was so cute talking about falling asleep in dance studio chairs. Oh. And she danced to that annoying cover of “Blackbird.” But I liked her anyway.

Mia is so glad that Kayla auditioned. She says she loves male dancers (except Brandon); she loves the strength that men bring to a stage. It’s rare for her to connect with a female dancer. I don’t even know where to begin or what to say about that. I’m just gonna bite my tongue because I’m still super pissed at her from yesterday and I don’t feel like going off on a tirade right now.  Kayla is different. Mia talks about how Kayla has moved all of them, oh and she made top twenty. Mia can’t wait to see her tear up the season. Hey Mia, do me a favor and shut up. I don’t want to immediately dislike this girl just because you think she’s awesome. Stuff a sock in it please. Thanks.

No. I really meant literally stuff a sock in your mouth. Please.

Cat tells us that as the day goes on the tension in the holding room has become unbearable. Well, du-uh. Kupono is trying to keep it together. We find out that he shaved his hair off because Nigel didn’t like it. Really? I think I’d like him more if he had refused to cut it. Remember Ryan from Season one with his spiky red hair and how much Mary just HATED it? I loved that kid. I don’t know what I was trying to say. Maybe “Be who you are.” Wow. That was kind of lame. Sorry.

I can’t think without my hair 

So Kupono tells us he lives by to do lists. I guess he writes one out for each day? That’s kind of pathetic Kupono. I mean, I’m a planner, I like to things, but I don’t make a daily list of what I’m going to do. And then he shares his list with us. On it is included “Live on that stage”. Barf. Oh, and the last item is Make Top Twenty. Because of his lame ass list I’m now hoping he never gets to cross that off. Never.

Nigel still can’t pronounce his name, and they ask him to say it for them one more time. Adam tells Kupono that being part of this process is not the most fun he’s ever had. That’s because you’re not a raging twat that lives off the blood of youngsters, Adam. We revisit Mary having issues with him during his audition, but Adam feels like he’s been really strong in Vegas. He thinks it’s going to be a big challenge for the producers to figure out how to put his name on the screen because he’s in the top twenty! Darn. Now he’ll never stop making those stupid lists.

And the celebrations continue. Paris Torres makes it.

Eeeek! Who did her make-up? 

Then a bunch of people we’ve never even seen yet make it through.

Who are you? 

Who? Who? 

Who? Who? 

I really wanna know! 

Cat tells us that after an hour over half of the spots have been filled. Will Brandon get a spot? Uuuuuh. He’d better get a fucking spot or I will lose my freaking mind. Seriously. I am not playing.

Oh great. Let’s flashback to Lil C and Mia being assholes to him. I cannot ever see enough of that. 

You are not allowed to sit next to Mia ever again.

So Brandon heads out to the stage. Oh Goody. Mia is going to talk. She says she can’t take him. “Like I can’t take what you bring to the floor. As an artist. It annoys the shit out of me.” She annoys the shit out of me. I cannot believe she’s sitting here spouting more of her nastiness at this poor kid. Who, by the way, doesn’t talk back to her, and doesn’t get an attitude. He just stands there and listens to her unpleasantness. He is a better person than I am because I think at this point I would have to tell her to shove it up her ass.

I’m thinking it! 

She goes on saying he rubs her the wrong way and she thinks there’s an attitude inside there “underneath that fake smile.” And then Brandon apologizes!!! For the way she perceives him. She’s not done yet. She understands there’s talent there but she doesn’t think it’s what everyone has cracked it up to be. I can’t even do justice to the tone and attitude she’s using when she’s talking to him. She is just loathsome.

I loathe you.

Okay. So here I go off on one of my tangents again. I don’t have a problem with the judges giving criticism. That’s what they’re supposed to do. Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I vehemently disagree. My problem with what she is doing here is that it’s not criticism. She’s not trying to give him feedback to make him a better dancer or performer. She’s attacking him on a personal level. It’s so uncalled for. 

Anyway. Debbie Allen jumps in saying she has a real difference of opinion. As Debbie tries to start talking Mia is yelling over her, and Nigel basically tells her to shut up, saying she’s had her turn to talk. Debbie tells him when he dances, she gets it. She loves the way he dances with power, with manliness, she loves how he soars and she doesn’t judge his personality. I appreciate what she’s saying, but I still haven’t seen anything that leads me to believe he has a personality problem. 

Lil C’s turn. He tells Brandon that he doesn’t impress him, and he’s waiting to be impressed. Mary has had enough.

I will kick all of your asses if you don’t shut up. 

She says, “I just don’t want to sit and listen to this crap.” Thank you Mary! She apologizes to Lil C, I guess for interrupting him, but she doesn’t mean it and I think I love her right now. I would have never thought it would be Mary that would be the voice of sanity in this moment. “To have anybody sit here and tear you down is nonsense.”

Also, she doesn’t think he’s cocky at all. “You are a fabulous dancer and I just don’t want to sit and listen to this crap.” Tell ‘em Mary! Nigel tells him he got four votes out of the six, taking him into the top twenty. He has an opportunity to change people’s minds. Nigel says they’re delighted to have him. “Four of us, anyway.” 

Ugh. Why can’t they put a muzzle on Mia? She asks Brandon what’s going to happen when they get in a room together.

You will die a slow and painful death 

He tells her it’s on. He’s going to show her what he is and who he has. Same goes for Lil C. Mia retains her bitchface, but I think he got some points just now with Lil C.

Next up is Tony Bellissimo, the hip hop kid who got two tries to get Mia’s choreography. Nigel tells him that his dance technique is not as strong as it should be. He goes on to say that everyone seems to love him and want him to make it, but the lack of vocabulary in his dancing is an issue. But they’ve decided to put him through anyway.

I had the same dumbfounded look on my face when I heard that.

From there, the yeses kept coming. Maksim gets through along with Caitlin Kinney, the naughty ballerina and some dude named Jason who I think is the guy that kicked himself in the face.

Next up is Ashley Valerio. Who? Cat tells us this is her fourth time auditioning for the show. Mary fakes her out saying that this is the final stop. Because this time she’s going through. Congrats Whats-Your-Name.

Oh Ashley. Congrats Ashley.

Next up another girl we haven’t seen before. This one’s called Randi Evans. Ooooooh. She’s the girl they showed running down the aisle with Nigel at one of the auditions. Mia tells her she has the body of a tigress, and the strength to be that powerful, but she’s not there yet. She hasn’t stepped into her glory yet. But Mia does think she’s stepped into her confidence with her little unitards.

Then we get a montage of her different unitards. I really could care less. Can we get on with this so we can move on to someone I actually recognize? She gets through and is actually really cute with how emotion she is about it. 

We are heading toward the finish line Gasmi. Seventeen dancers have made it through, and my heart is breaking a little bit because I know that means that both of the Kasprzak brothers won’t be making it through. Okay. I knew that before, but I was hoping for a different outcome. I always go for the impossible situations.

Alex Wong heads out to the stage. I love this guy so much. I really want him to make it. 

I mean, come on now! 

He tells us he’s always wanted to do many different genres of dance. Right now he only does ballet because he’s in a ballet company. Nigel tells him that they adore him and that they think he is one of the strongest dancers. But. He is under contract to the Miami City Ballet. Nigel spoke to the artistic director, Edward Villella, and asked if he would let Alex out of his contract for a short period of time so that he could be a part of the show. He said no. Nigel says he doesn’t blame him, but when the contract expires they would love Alex to come back.

Alex is sad to learn this. He says he was really excited to get the opportunity to express himself through different kinds of dance. Adam asks if he feels trapped in ballet. Alex says he’s satisfied but he wants to be able to express himself through other forms of dance and he was hoping that this could be his chance. 

Debbie says she understands why he wants to be there. So do I. She says she wants him to go back with a good heart and try to keep a positive spirit. Lil C says because he hungers for more he has the appetite of a true artist, and it is extremely beautiful. Nigel reminds him that he is working with one of this country’s premier classical dancers. “Be proud of that and take this time to hone that side of your work and then rejoin us at another point.”

I ended up getting into a rather heated discussion with a friend of mine about Alex. Her thought was that he knew he was under contract when he auditioned, so what’s he so upset about? I disagreed. Yes, he knew he was under contract. But I think he maybe thought that they’d let him do the show if he was picked. I mean, first of all, what are the odds of getting picked? I think he really did believe that the artistic director would let him do the show. I’m sad that we lost out on him in the top twenty.

After Alex four more dancers are cut including Ricky Sun, Asuka’s partner, that crying pixie girl from the sucktastic group number, some girl with a red streak in her hair, and some other random dude.

Time for Phillip Chbeeb to find out if he’s made it. He says he’s been in shock each time he’s made it through a round. He says all of his ability was born and raised in his bedroom, practicing in front of a window reflection to sounds of construction. How crazy is that? So we all know he’s going to get in, otherwise there would be no brother drama.  

As he walks out Nigel asks if he’s injured, and Adam says to tell the truth. “Emotionally maybe.” Hah. Adam wants to hear about his week in Vegas. Phillip says it was one of the most stressful weeks of his life, but he enjoyed every second of it. 

Adam says he’s really grown and improved. Not only that, he saw something he rarely sees from b-boys and people who are trickers and that is an overall sense of loving dance. And he makes it through. As if there was ever any doubt.

So two spots left. One girl’s spot, one guy’s spot. For the girls there is Asuka and some random girl we’ve never seen before. Gee? I wonder who will make it through? For the guys it’s the Kasprzak brothers which we all knew already because they spoiled it at the end of last night’s show.

Ladies first. After comments to both girls they tell Asuka she’s made it through. Durrrr. I always think how awful it must be to be in that last pairing. It’s crap if you don’t make it because the other person did, and sucky if you do make it because you don’t want to be an asshole jumping up and down celebrating. 

“I’m so sorry you got cut.” “I’m so sorry you didn’t.” 

Time for the brothers. I think we all know the way this going to go down. Cat asks them each how they feel if the other brother gets in. Ryan says he’s with Evan every step that he dances. Evan says his brother is due for some good news. (Not gonna happen tonight, sorry!)

Love you! No I love you!  

We reflect back on their auditions and various moments from Vegas week. Ryan tells us he’s heard a lot of things throughout his career like “you’re too short, you’re too fat, you’re too bald” but this week he’s realized that his own fear was standing in the way of his dreams. Along with being too short, too fat and too bald.

The bow-tie isn’t doing you any favors either. 

“All those things that I thought would keep me from being on the show might be why I make the show.” Nope. They’ll be the reasons you don’t make the show Ryan. And I think that sucks. The guys say that this is the worst nightmare scenario they had been dreading. Nigel says they’re similar in style, so at the end of the day they thought there was only room for one of them. You know what? That’s such a load of shit. They have contemporary dancers out the wazoo, but they don’t have room for two Broadway guys? That’s just a bunch of Bullroar. 

Nigel tells Ryan to be very proud because it’s probably his choreography that’s gotten Evan through to the top twenty. 

Greaaaaat. 

Nigel tells Ryan that he crossed off “too short, too bald” the first day he saw him. Ryan tells him that he needs a tap dancer on the show and he is that guy. I’d love to see him come back, but somehow I don’t think they’ll put him on. I wish they would because I agree that they need a tapper. They’ve only had that chick from the first season and I was never really impressed with her. 

And there you have it Gasmi. That’s your top twenty. Some we already know and love, some we may grow to like or love, and some we’re bound to grow to hate. It’ll be an interesting season.

Next week starts the performance rounds and I can’t wait to see what moves they bust out for us. See you there!

SWAK, PottyMouth

P.S. – I know some of you enjoy Hugh Jackman as much as I do, but once the performance rounds start he will only make guest appearances. For those of you saddened by this news I can only offer you one consolation.

Dry those tears. It’s not good-bye, it’s see you later.