So You Think You Can Dance: The Finale’s So Close You Can TASTE It. Never Mind. Those Were The Tacos I Ate For Dinner Last Night.

We start this week with Cat telling us this is the most important performance show of the competition. I beg to differ, Cat. NEXT week is the most important performance show of the competition. She tells us that the top six will be battling it out for a spot in the finale, and they need your votes. Except Evan. He already has enough votes to win this, go to Canada, take their title, travel to Australia, win that one, and then come back and win America’s Got Talent without even entering. Welcome! To So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance)!

Call PETA! Cat skinned Barney and used his hide for her dress!  

This week Nigel and Mary are joined by Lil C at the judges’ table. Really??? Couldn’t we have had Debbie Allen back again? It’s gonna be a long loooong night.

Cat goes to Lil C first asking him if he’d like to “pontificate on the preferences of the population”. Cat! I thought we were friends. Please don’t encourage him. He thinks the decisions have been appropriated by what the public prefers.

I would prefer that you shut the fuck up 

Cat wants to know if Mary thinks the viewers have made the right choices.

NO 

She goes on to talk about how hard it was to lose Janette last week, and how she didn’t make a wrong step, blah blah blah. Well, maybe next time you all will think twice about including a breast cancer dance in the program. If that dance had never happened I am sure Janette would still be there and Melissa would have been sent home. 

Mary would like to give you some advice for going into the finale. Don’t vote for Melissa. Take into consideration ALL the dances, all the way back to the auditions, not just what they dance tonight. Vote from your hearts.

Or I will punch you in your throat 

Nigel, any words of advice for the top six? He thinks they need to bring out their personalities. This is the best top twenty they’ve ever had (bullshit), but they’re all sort of on the same level (wrong). He hasn’t seen anyone pop out like Twitch or Joshua or Katee or Courtney. What about Travis, or Nick, or Melody? Blake or Ivan or Allison? WHAT ABOUT DANNY?!?!? What the fuck does this show have against Danny????

We love you Danny 

Nigel thinks that at the moment it’s often the choreography or the routines that are getting the vote, not necessarily the dancers. I actually think I agree with him there. He says it’s so hard for the public to decide who they like because it’s such a high standard of dancing this season. Or maybe we’re all bored by the fact that they all seem to be sort of interchangeable for the most part.

Cat tells us that the top six will be performing four times each tonight. Twice as couples, once in their solo and once in a group dance. I gotta say, I like the group dance idea this year. They should definitely keep that around.

The guys are up first. They got together with Sonya (yay!!) for a group routine. Sonya thinks these guys have so much potential, and they have progressed so far this season. She’s excited to indulge even more in them. She tells the guys that this piece is very Willy Wonka-esque. So naturally I immediately get a mental image of this….

She’s inspired by the fashion and intention of it. What? The intention of Willy Wonka? What is that, to make candy? I’m so confused.

Evan says some of the movement is dark and abstract, so he’s definitely feeling it.  Brandon points out that there are only three of them on the stage so it’s gonna be hard to hide any fuck ups. Ade says the tough thing about Sonya’s choreography is that you have to stop and make the pictures she wants you to make. 

I see his point 

They’re dancing to “True Romance” by She Wants Revenge. Unsurprisingly, I have never heard of it. This dance is freaking awesome. It’s got that typical Sonya feel to it, but MORE. There is lifting, there is tossing, there are back flips. There’s a marching section that kicks all kinds of ass. I love love LOVE this dance.

Evan seemed to falter a little bit after the back tuck, but other than that they were all strong. I was actually really surprised that Evan was as strong as he was; I thought for sure the other two were going to barrel right over him, but they all seemed to be pretty well matched here.

Cat points out that Brandon’s mommy is here for the first time, and for a minute I think awwww and then I want to know where the hell she’s been all these weeks. I gonna go with the assumption that she works for an asshole who wouldn’t give her the time off before. Jerk.

Lil C, what did you think of this dance? Before Lil C critiques the dance he wants to tell us about a fantasy he’s had. It involves Ade and Brandon and getting them into a hot tub the same dance. He says he’s living vicariously through Sonya right now.

I’ve got wood just thinking about it 

He loved the dance. He starts with Brandon, saying he’s such a dedicated dancer. He loves that about him. Ade is still proving it for him, and he told everyone last time that they needed to look out for him. He commends Evan on not getting swallowed by the dominant excellence of Ade and Brandon.

I commend you on that awesome back handed compliment 

Mary just LOVED IT!! Yes she did!! She says usually when you get three male dancers together there are certain things that they can not do. Talk about their girlfriends? No. What she’s talking about is that they could all kick their legs up to the same exact height. Because they are not the same exact height. Thanks for your input, Mary.

Nigel agrees with a lot of what has been said already. But he does have to say that tonight Evan stood out for him because he’s never seen him attempt stuff like this. What the hell is he talking about? Evan had Sonya last week for crying out loud, so it’s not like he hasn’t attempted her choreography style before. I think he’s trying to use reverse psychology on the audience. If he praises Evan more than the others, maybe people won’t vote for him.

Nigel doesn’t think that they could have done a routine of this standard in past years. I don’t know, I’d like to believe that other dancers could have stepped up to the plate just as much. It’s hard, though because it seems like in every other year there’s been at least one “weak” dancer in the bunch. Although I wouldn’t have thought Evan could hang with these guys and he did. We’ll never know for sure.

Time for the first couple of the evening. Who did Jeanine pick out of the hat? Ade! This should be a good pairing. Jeanine says she was relieved when she saw his name because she’s really wanted to work with him. Ade says that Jeanine is a great performer, and he needs to bring that out a little more, so this partnership will hopefully help him do that.

Their first dance is going to be a samba with Louis van Amstel. Neither one of them knows anything about the samba, but that doesn’t matter because Louis tells them it isn’t going to be a traditional samba. Jeanine tells us that the routine is suggestive, but still classy. Ooookay. 

They’re dancing to “LoveGame” by Lady GagMe Gaga. You know the song. It’s the one about riding on a disco stick. Except Fox has decided that “stick” needs to be censored out. Huh? Since when is stick a dirty word? This is the same network that airs Hell’s Kitchen. On which Ramsay said something looked like a bison’s penis. And penis was not beeped out, but stick is?!?!? 

I am not crazy about this dance. At all. I think Ade is doing the sloppy thing that he sometimes does, and Jeanine is pulling faces like crazy. And to be honest, it didn’t seem like there was all that much to this. There were a lot of parts where they just seemed to be walking, and the samba rolls were shit. Pure and simple. I like both of them, but this is not giving me a warm and fuzzy feeling about their chances of making the finale. 

Let’s see what the judges thought. Mary? She thought the first fifteen seconds of it were incredible. Hmmm, that was the part where Jeanine took Ade’s jacket off. When it got down into the dancing thick of samba it fell apart for her. She tells Ade he was hopping around the floor, and also calls them out on the samba rolls. It looked very novice to her.

The first thing that Lil C wants to say is that Jeanine looks aaamaaazing.

Come see me later. 

He says he was excited when he heard about this partnership, he thought now we’re getting to the point where we’re mixing and matching talents. “With each two universes that we smash into one another we’re hoping to get an explosion of excellence.”

I exploded my excellence all over her backstage 

Lil C doesn’t know if it’s that his expectations were too high or they just faltered. But he is disappointed. 

Nigel tells Ade that he has to change his style with each routine that he’s given. He thought Jeanine was absolutely beautiful. What a shocker. She did everything with confidence, and he thinks she did a wonderful job. He says it’s easier for her than Ade because of the way she looks. Yeah. Ade doesn’t give him a boner, and Jeanine does. We all KNOW, Nigel. 

Time for the first solo of the evening. It’s Kayla dancing to “You Found Me” by The Fray. UGH. Really?? I am so fucking sick of this song. 

Last week I liked her solo. Not so much this week. I feel like she reverted back to her comfort zone of too many kicks and developpes. It also was really frenetic. I get that she wanted that because of the song, but I think it was too much. And she does that bullshit “sexy” swaying at the end that I fucking HATE. Not as bad as some of her solos have been, but I think it was a step backward from last week.

Time to see who Melissa picked out of the hat. It is Evan. She’s excited. (not really) She thinks he has a great personality. Evan thinks that Melissa is a great partner and compliments whoever she is on stage with.

Did you know that Evan is really really short? 

Their first dance is going to be a Broadway number with Tyce. Seriously? I’m so sick of Tyce and his Broadway numbers this year. It feels like we’ve have loads and loads of them. And while I’m on that subject, is it just me, or does it feel like we keep seeing the same styles over and over and over and over again this year? I feel like it’s hip hop, contemporary, Broadway, cha cha, waltz, lather, rinse, repeat. 

I wonder if we really are getting less variety this year than usual. Hmmmm……. Please hold while I take a brief break. To amuse you while I’m gone……..

Still looking……….

Okay. I’m back. I hope you weren’t TOO bored while I was gone. I guess it’s more perception than fact that we’ve gotten the same stuff over and over. I mean, we’re missing some styles we’ve seen before, but it’s not as much of the same as I thought it was in my head.  Which is sort of depressing because that means that it feels monotonous even if it hasn’t been. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about this show before. Sad. 

Anyway, back to Melissa and Evan. They are dancing to “Get Me To The Church On Time” from My Fair Lady. Evan starts out sleeping on a chair and Melissa rushes in to wake him up. Okay. First of all, isn’t it bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding?

Also? Has the costumers budget been severely cut or something? I would really like to know why they seem to be shopping for a lot of these costumes at Frederick’s of Hollywood. Melissa has to be the tackiest bride I’ve ever seen in my life.

I take that back 

I really hate this dance. It’s over the top campy. I don’t mind campy, but Tyce doesn’t know how to do it right. There’s line with campiness that if you go too far it’s just stupid. This dance is that stupid. From Evan bopping his butt on the floor….

To Melissa’s stupid costume and overacting….

To the very end when they “walk” down the aisle and someone throws confetti or rice or whatever the hell that was supposed to be at them. It was simplistic, and stupid, and I hated it. Did I mention that I didn’t like it? Blech.

Lil C says he was excited for this routine. He thought Evan would shine and dominate the routine. Which I think he did, the trouble was there wasn’t really anything worth dominating in that routine. Sorry. Back to Lil C. He expected so much because he knows how amazing Evan is. He feels like they danced it really good and performed it really good. But they could have shot and aimed for excellence. He gives them an A for dance, and an A for performance, but he wants them to go for A pluses.

I give you a D minus for your critique. And? Shut the fuck up 

Mary thinks that maybe that should have been called “Get Me To The Finale On Time.” What the fuck is she on because I want some. NOW. She thinks the dance was fun and entertaining. It’s so hard to take Evan seriously in his underwear.

It’s hard to take you seriously EVER. 

Five dollars for that shitty sign? I can’t take that seriously either. 

Nigel is going to start with Melissa. He tells her she must have inspired a lot of people because they have gotten a lot of ballerinas auditioning for season six. But they can’t adapt the way that she has. Oh shut up, Nigel. I don’t want to hear anything about how well she adapts until she gets a fucking hip hop number and kills it.

Nigel moves on to Evan talking about how the routine was not that demanding technically. It was demanding on their personalities. Did Evan bring enough of that to the routine tonight for Nigel? Yes he did. Nice to see Nigel’s sticking with that reverse psychology plan.

Time for another solo. This time it’s Ade, dancing to “18th Floor Balcony” by Blue October. 

It’s more of the same from him in this solo. I’m sad because I feel like he had that awesome Windowdipper solo and then fizzled out after that. I have yet to like any of his solos as much as that one. I love his musicality, but once again, I’m left wishing there was more. He also does that bullshit swaying crap at the end of his solo. I really wish someone would tell them all to stop it.

Let’s see who Kayla picked? Ohmygod, it’s Brandon!! What a complete and total surprise. Wadda ya know? Kayla is excited to be dancing with Brandon. And Brandon is excited to be dancing with Kayla. I’m excited that they’re excited.

They will be doing a contemporary piece choreographed by Stacey Tookey. Stacey tells us that the story of this piece is that Kayla is Brandon’s mistress, but she doesn’t have the strength to leave him. Yeah, I think we all can relate to that one, right?

Nothing could make me leave you. Not even that restraining order. 

Stacey tells us she is pulling out a lot of technique and intricate partnering in this routine. The type that if they miss one thing it could be disastrous. It is the top six after all. 

The song they’re performing to is “All I Want” by Ahn Trio. Kayla starts out sitting on the edge of the stage as Brandon comes in taking off his tie. That sounds so blah compared to what is going on. This is one of those dances that it’s hard to describe the emotion that’s going on and how it’s tied so perfecting into the movement.

I love this dance. I love that they sell it on the emotional level, but I also love the choreography that Stacey has put together here. There’s this pull from Brandon that doesn’t allow her to leave. And a yearning in Kayla’s steps. A yearning to leave, but also a yearning to be with him. She doesn’t really want to go. And that’s illustrated so well in this short span of a minute and a half. Wow. They end with her sort of falling down to a sitting position on the stage, and him ending at her starting point at the edge of the stage.

Lil C says that was really really really intense, and beyond intense, it was beyond amazing. He has felt like everyone that has been paired with Kayla throughout the competition was at a disadvantage because she is such a beast. And she has the tendency to out dance her partner. He feels like this is the first time she’s been equally matched, or with a partner who is formidable. 

Mary spews her nonsense about the hot tamale train, but I refuse to talk about that anymore. She thinks the dancing that they portrayed tonight was brilliant. Her command of the English language is not. She loved every second of watching them tonight, yes she did.

Nigel thinks that was a beautifully choreographed and constructed routine. He would have liked to see the pair of them dance together sooner. He’s not sure they’ve had enough time to cement the chemistry they need as a couple, but he couldn’t have asked for more of them from a technique standpoint. I actually disagree with him here; I thought they had really good chemistry.

On to the next solo. This time it’s Melissa dancing to “I Put A Spell On You” by Nina Simone. LOVE the music, but again, I’m so so about her solo. 

I think it’s better this week than it has been, but I don’t think she’s ever going to get to where I wish she would be. It’s been mentioned that that’s because she is simply not that great of a ballerina, and I think I have to sadly concede that point. I wish she was phenomenal, but she isn’t. Still, this is probably one of her best solos. 

Now that we’ve gone through the first numbers for each couple, it’s time to circle back through. This time we’re going to ask them a question before we get to the dancing. Wanna know what insightful question they’ve come up with? What would it mean to them to make it into the finale? Really? I’m thinking the answers are going to be different versions of “it would mean the world to me.” Ready? Let’s find out how Jeanine and Ade answered the question.

“It would be the most unanticipated success of my life.” 

“Being in the finale would mean the world to me.” 

Wow. I never expected them to answer that way. I can’t wait to see what everyone else has to say. I’m sure it will be just as riveting and insightful.

For their second dance, Jeanine and Ade are doing a Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop number. URGH. Couldn’t we have had Shane again this week? No? What about Dave Scott? Nope. The scent of vanilla is wafting through my house already.

The story of this hip hop is that they’re friends that are getting evicted from their apartment. Complete with boxes to dance with. There’s a section where Jeanine is doing a sort of double dutch thing over Ade’s legs and he’s a little worried because she gets rather close to the family jewels.

I sure hope he doesn’t piss her off 

They’re dancing to “Move (If You Wanna)” by MIMS. They start out off the stage dancing their way home, only to find an eviction notice taped to a box in a pile of boxes. Well, at least they seemed to be moving anyway. Or maybe they never unpacked. Regardless, the eviction notice makes them mad. So mad that they must hip and hop.

Why are they kicking their own shit around?  

This routine is actually more hard hitting than usual for Tabitha and Napoleon. Jeanine stumbles during that double dutch part, and I wish Ade didn’t have his face hidden by a baseball cap (that doesn’t even match the rest of his outfit), but other than that, I liked it. It wasn’t amazing, but it was good. Oh! But I hate that it ends like this.

LAME 

Lil C wishes moving really was that fun. He’d relocate every day. Yeah, but all your stuff would be broken. He says they danced that way better than he thought they would. He says Ade has a really dirty groove about himself, it’s real earthy, but he doesn’t utilize it a lot of the time. This time he sunk into and kinda sat in it. But it didn’t stop there because he took Jeanine and dragged her to the depths of the dirt with him.

Over to Mary. Before she talks about this dance there’s something that’s been bugging her. You see, when she was critiquing the samba she got so wrapped up in how much she hated what Ade did, she forgot to talk about Jeanine. She thought she was terrific the whole time through. Thanks for sharing Mary.

Nigel pipes up to say he thought that Mary was a bit mean with that. He thought perhaps she has been taking lessons from his wife’s divorce attorney. 

Mary doesn’t want to talk about that. She wants to talk about this dance. It doesn’t feel good to get evicted, but she doesn’t think they will get their eviction notice after that performance. I know you can’t see it right now but my eyes are practically rolling out of my head. Any typos from this point forward are not my fault.

Nigel thinks that this could have easily been a routine that was applauded. Instead of applauding them. But they got down and it was absolutely fantastic from the pair of them. 

Time for another solo. This time around it’s Brandon. He’s dragged out the “O Fortuna” music again, but he seems to have left his costume back at the hotel.

Actually, he seems to have borrowed this costume from a friend of mine.

Such a giver 

All kidding aside, this solo kicks ass every which way to Sunday. Holy crap. The height he gets on his leaps are amazing. This guy is such a fucking powerhouse. What I really love about his solo is that he has found a really great balance between tricks, leaps and turns, and smaller steps that show off his musicality. In my opinion this solo has guaranteed him a spot in the finale. Now if only he could resist the urge to sway at the end. 

Please don’t make me hurt you 

He gets a standing ovation from the judges. Lil C is the last to stand, and as I always do in these situations, I wonder if he really wanted to stand up or if he felt like he had to. Even though no one else got comments after their solos, Nigel can’t control himself and says, “He’s just given us one of the best solos we’ve ever seen on this show.” And I have to say, I do agree. I won’t say it’s THE best because no one can take that away from Danny in my opinion, but this solo was fucking phenomenal. LOVED IT.

Time for Melissa and Evan’s second dance. But first! What would it mean to them to make the finale?

“I’m proud of myself. I wanna win this really bad.” 

“It’s in my grasp.” 

Evan, you didn’t really answer the question. I’ll just go with “It would mean the world to me.” So for their second dance Evan and Melissa have drawn (completely randomly) the dreaded quickstep. You cannot tell me that this was not planned. Nigel is dying to get Evan off. Between this and the praise throughout the evening, could he be any more obvious. Not that I don’t agree; I am ready for Evan to go as well, but please. Do I have idiot tattooed on my forehead? That was a rhetorical question.

Louis van Amstel is choreographing this quickstep. Melissa doesn’t think that people appreciate how hard the quickstep is. Wrong! I think we all know how hard it is since almost everyone that attempts it FAILS MISERABELY. Melissa is also not trusting Evan as a partner. That’s sure to work out well for them.

They are dancing to “As Long As I’m Singin’” by The Brian Setzer Orchestra. I must say, they both look fantastic. This number starts and I think, “Holy Shit! For once we are going to get to see a fucking awesome quickstep!” That excitement does not last. 

They start out really high energy, and then it stops. There’s a section where there’s some lift work, and it’s at that point that it just goes dead for me. And I fully blame that on Melissa’s lack of trust. From that point on the energy goes downhill, and I swear at one point it looked like Melissa was trying to lead Evan. Very disappointing.

Lil C starts out by commending Evan for dancing bigger than he’s ever danced on the show before. But now comes the tough love. He talks about how Nigel had given him notes on his retractions when he did the jive with Randi and Lil C thinks he didn’t take heed to those notes. Ummmmm, that was a jive. This is a quickstep. They are completely different styles of dance.

Shut. It. 

He thinks Melissa looks fabulous and did a fabulous job. Fabulous.

Mary starts by giving a shout out to Louis for creating a second great routine tonight. Mary acknowledges that this is one of the toughest styles to get on the show. She thought it started out great and had more life to it, but as it went along everything started to crumble and just fell apart. She also says the lift at the end was not really quickstep. That would be a note for the choreographer Mary, NOT the dancers. She was disappointed.

Nigel calls Melissa out for calling herself old in the intro package. He tells her she’s young! And talented!! It’s routines like he’s just watched them do that started him dancing. From that point of view, fabulous. For him it went down when they did the Lindy hop section. It lost the bounce and energy. Just that little middle section there. He doesn’t think it was one of the best routines of the night, and says he has no idea what is going to happen.

I’d cut you, but it’s out of my hands.  

Time for Jeanine’s solo. She’s dancing to “Feedback” by Janet Jackson.

Now you all know that I absolutely adore Jeanine, but this was not the strongest solo from her. It wasn’t terrible, not by any means, but she has been so much stronger. I really wish she would have brought it more. 

She’s doing too much sexy b.s. and repeating a lot of the same choreography we’ve already seem from her. I was really expecting her to blow me away, and I’m left a little disappointed. Sigh. Although she doesn’t sway at the end, so I guess I have that to be thankful for.

Jeanine’s solo is followed by Evan’s. He is dancing to “Lady Is A Tramp” by Sammy Davis, Jr. He opens with a back flip and goes into a typical Evan solo. Lots of ham, a little cheese and a whole lotta of old Hollywood feel to it.

You know, the funny thing about Evan is that every time he does a solo I remember what I’ve always loved about him. My problem is what he brings to the table outside of his solos. And there isn’t a lot of range there. I really really WISH he had been better outside of his own style, I’ve really wanted that to be the case, but it just isn’t. I really like the guy, but I am so ready for him to go.

Time for the last couple of the evening. What would it mean to Kayla and Brandon to make the finale?

“It would really prove to myself that I really am a good dancer. Just because I really am not as confident as it comes off to be.” 

Hope you’re proud of yourself Mia. You totally did this to this kid. Bitch.

“It would mean absolutely everything to me.” 

Oh shit. We’ve got a disco routine headed our way. Doriana says it’s all about fun, energy, and seeing if we can top ourselves this time. Yikes! I think they’re in for a workout. Those fears are confirmed as Doriana asks Brandon if he’s been doing push ups. She tells us again it’s going to be fun and energetic, but this time she also adds challenging. Sure sounds like fun to me.

The music for this fun and energetic (and challenging!) routine is “Dance (Disco Heat)” by Sylvester. Brandon starts out the routine does a series of flips across the floor. For a minute there I thought I was watching a floor routine at a gymnastics meet. This dance is HIGH energy. 

And while I can appreciate the fact that they keep the energy high throughout the entire dance, I cannot overlook the fact that every single one of their lifts were sloppy. The transitions were choppy, and not anywhere close to being smooth enough. I think at one point they almost didn’t make the lift because Kayla stumbled a little. They each do a death drop, but they were clunky and the transition from Kayla to Brandon doing it wasn’t smooth at all.

It’s another one of those dances where I wish it was more than it actually is. If they could have smoothed out those transitions, well, this dance would have been so freaking great. It’s still good, but I’m not blown away. 

Let’s see what Lil C has to say about this dance. “Being out of your comfort zone represents unfamiliarity, and it also represents darkness. And when faced with certain challenges like being out of the comfort zone of your genre, you have to go and befriend the characteristics of your challenge and you have to go and see the music. But when you see the music? You have to go and see certain pieces of music with your ears, and when you see with your ears there is no darkness. And I saw no darkness within this routine.” Wha??????? 

I like to hear myself talk. With my eyes. And when you hear with your eyes, there is no silence. EV-ER. 

He then licks Brandon’s ass a little bit, probably because he feels like a schmuck for siding with Mia at the beginning of the season. He got tired just watching them. I’m getting tired just listening to him.

Over to Mary. “Holy Smokies!” She says they gave it a home run and then she screams. She talks about their lifts, but neglects to mention that the transitions were off. And then she yells at Brandon for having self esteem issues because that always helps when you do that.

Feel good about yourself, goddammit!!! 

She says she’s not crazy, but he is making her crazy if he keeps talking like that.

No, you were crazy already. 

Nigel thinks they have to be sensible about this now. Really? Why would you start now?? Well, because they are now asking people to vote on who’s going to go through to the finale. He says it’s quite easy to hype an audience with music and screaming, but he wants to critique this professionally.

Oh that Nigel, he’s always the consummate professional.

He’s keeping his fingers crossed for them.

I totally thought he was giving them the finger for a second there. 

Time for the last dance of the evening. This time the girls are doing a group routine choreographed by Sonya (again). Yay!! I love Sonya. I can’t wait to see what she does with them. 

Her piece is about superheroes. She has always dreamed about being a superhero, and she wishes they really existed.

ME TOO. 

Sonya says all the of the girls are different yet the same. They all carry the same beautifully aesthetic lines, but their strengths are all different. She tells them it’s based on being triumphant. Kayla is Storm, Jeanine is Wonder Woman, and Melissa is Buttercup. Who the fuck is Buttercup? I have never heard of her before.

There is much talk of synchronization, and at one point Jeanine clocks Kayla right in the face. I have to admit; I have spent at least ten minutes watching that over and over and over. What? I wanted to make sure she was ok.

They’re dancing to “Kick It (Superheroes Remix)” by Nina Martine. They start out wearing some pretty stupid looking capes, but they almost immediately get rid of them, so I’ll forgive how lame they are. 

I like the concept more than I like the dance. I mean, it was good, typical Sonya type movement, but I wasn’t blown away by them. I actually think that this time around the guys did much better than the girls in the group routine. Kayla and Jeanine both seemed to get a little featurette section within the dance, but not Melissa. I wonder why that is. 

Lil C’s favorite word of the evening is commend. He is going to commend Sonya, first of all. Basically for running the girl’s gym class at super hero high. He then goes on to talk about how the stage is a bowl and you have to eat from the bowl. I think he’s been smoking a bowl.

He doesn’t think that they all went for the gusto. They were being too courteous. He needs more buckness. He thought they danced it amazingly, but he needs more than amazing right now.

Mary hilariously calls him Lil Buck (quite by accident I think). She wants to know what’s the word after amazing. She thinks that they are the pitome of strong, versatile, flexible, sexy, talented dancers. She will say that Kayla had some moves in there that were tougher than the others. So she stood out as a result of that. She thinks it’s too bad that they didn’t have this routine together last week for comic con. Uh, yeah. There would have been some wet dreams in the convention center that night, for sure.

Nigel says, “Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It’s an arabesque!” That Nigel, always so witty. He loves that they started the show with a trio and ended with a trio. Yes, it’s so wonderful of you to have programmed it that way. Thanks so much.

He loves the strength of them together, and for him, no one stood out on their own. What did stand out was his boner. Because Jeanine’s costume is a little boobalicious.

So of course he must comment on it and make her as uncomfortable as possible, saying, “You can’t tie down talent, can you?” GROSS. 

And that’s how we end this week’s show. What did you think, Gasmi? Who stood out for you in a good way? Or a bad way? Were you oogling Jeanine’s boobs too? I loved Brandon tonight, and still definitely want Jeanine in the finale. I think I’d like to see Melissa and Evan go home, but I won’t be heartbroken either way. If Brandon or Jeanine don’t make it in I will have to hurt someone.

As is the usual over here, I’m jumping right into the recap of the results show, so expect that soon. I’ll see you there!

SWAK, PottyMouth