So You Think You Can Dance: While Nigel’s Away The Judges Will Play

On this episode of So You Think You Can Dance (dance………dance), Nigel is away getting some honorary degree. 

At the Pied Piper’s School of Music 

Oh no!  How will they know who to put through to Vegas, or choreography without Nigel guiding them along?

This week’s audition round takes us to New Orleans, where Mary is joined by Adam Shankman and Lil C. Should be interesting. You all know by know how the auditions work, right?

Yes. 

No. 

Maybe 

Any Questions? 

Okay then! Let’s get this party started!

Our first auditioner is hoping he’s just a hop, skip and bounce away from Vegas. His name is Shelby “Skip” Skipper, and his dance style is called the New Orleans bounce. He’s been bouncing since he was seven or eight, his best friend, Big Choo, created the style. He tells us it’s a form of hip hop, but it’s New Orleans way. And then he shows us a little bit while Big Choo beat boxes. He wants to put the bounce on the map, and he’s going to Vegas.

It’s a fun style and he moves well, I just don’t know if he’ll actually be able to pick up choreography. Hopefully they’ll send him through and he’ll be able to keep up. Mary is wowed by his energy. She also sounds like she’s still drunk for last night.

AND she may be having an allergic reaction to her last botox treatment! 

She slurs that she’s never heard of the style before, so she’s no expert, but she loved it. She was feeling her leg cramp up just watching. Adam says he is an expert, and Mary says she heard he learned the New Orleans bounce last night!

Ahhhhhh, memories 

Adam says of course he knows nothing about the style, but it was unbelievable to watch. Lil C gets the award for first shout out of the year to the show for showcasing different dance styles. He thought it was a great representation. It was buck. Skip tells them that New Orleans bounce has been around for a long time (but if Big Choo is the founder how longer could it really have been around?) but it’s never made it to a national level. 

He auditioned here today because Big Choo called him at 3 am to tell him about the audition. Ummmmm………if my friend called me at 3 am there’d be an ass beating happening, not an audition.
 

Mary thanks him for bringing the style there, but she’s afraid he will not be moving on to choreography today. He takes it well, saying thank you, and then Lil C jumps in to tell him he’s going straight through to Vegas! Oh the fakeouts, how I loathe them.

Up next is Jonathan Litzler. He grew up doing acro and hip hop, and then three or four years ago he started taking ballet, contemporary and jazz.

He’s got some good moves going on in there, but there are also some weird and stilted transitions. I think he’s good, but he could be just another good contemporary guy that blends in with everyone else if he doesn’t kick it up a notch.

Adam says that was one of the best auditions he’s ever seen.

Doesn’t he say that like at EVERY SINGLE AUDITION?!?!? 

Why yes, I think he does. He says that Jonathan’s almost overshadowed by the fact that he’s a tumbler, but that that totally didn’t matter. Is he drunk too? What the hell are you talking about Adam? He thinks Jonathan could have done his audition without the tumbling and it wouldn’t have mattered. But it didn’t go unnoticed.

All Lil C is going to say is that it’s a perfect blend of weight, energy, space, and time. It looked effortless. Mary thinks it was amazing and gorgeous, breathtaking and fabulous. Okay, then. And of course he’s straight through to Vegas.

Next we get a quick glimpse of Alison Nance and her fabulous lines. Vegas!

Followed by Calvin Turner who Lil C thinks is amazing and beyond beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us. And…..Vegas!

Then we have Edward Spots who can spot really well doing his eleventy million turns. Also? He can fucking leap. Adam thinks he is an extraordinary dancer. Vegas!

Cat tells us with so much talent in the air, everyone needed to find a way to stand out. How about just being an amazing dancer? Oh! Not everyone who shows up IS an amazing dancer. And so they need other ways to stand out.

I’m guessing none of these idiots makes it through 

Of course all this wackiness is leading somewhere, right? Yup. It’s leading up right to Eric Le Blanc, hip hop dancer idiot extraordinaire.  He tells us he has drunk six energy drinks today. And he’s like rrroo roooor rrrrooo rrrroooo rrrooooo like everywhere. And then he does a lot of this.

 

Awwww, it’s Mary’s redneck son! 

His friends would describe him funny, silly, outgoing, the person of the crowd that can make you laugh even if you’re having the worst day. And he does crazy sounds too. 

Ohhhhhh, it’s Mary’s retarded redneck son! 

He wants Mary to scream and put him on the hot tamale train. I want to see him snoring in a corner after all those “energy drinks” wear off. Gee, I hope someone does a headcount on the shortbus before they leave!

Yeah. This is about as good as I thought it was going to be. He starts screaming immediately after, and Mary responds by screaming back at him. Awwww, what a sweet family reunion. But the sweetness ends when he begs her to yell hot tamale train and she tells him he has to deserve it. Ouch!

Adam wants to know how he feels about what he just did. Very dizzy. And then he tells them he’s had six red bulls but fails to mention the gram of coke he snorted in the bathroom as well. And then he and Mary scream some more. Please kill me now.

He knows he didn’t do anything amazing but he did it for his family. What?!? He doesn’t even make any sense. Lil C is going to commend Eric on showing us his passion. Adam loves him, but it’s a no to choreography. Oh, I wish they would send him to Vegas just so we could see Nigel’s head implode when he sees him. Wait! I take that back! I don’t want to see any more of this moron.

Mary says yes to choreography because she’s hoping he’s still got some coke left. Lil C would also like to see him do some choreo. And so he screams his fat ass off the stage to wait for the choreography round. Even Cat thinks that decision is loopy, and she tell us without Nigel there, the judges have gone crazy. 

I want to be a roller derby girl! 

Somebody try this and tell me if it works 

After the break we get another quick round of good dancers who are called entertaining, unbelievable, amazing, and……………cackles of laughter? No word on whether they get through to Vegas though.

And then we move on to b-boy Justin Kenney. He tells us that he almost died in an SUV wreck, luckily he had his seatbelt on, but he still got some pretty serious head trauma. Three weeks later, he was dancing again. He says he probably shouldn’t have been dancing but he can’t just sit around. He’s still recovering a bit; he can’t do all of the stuff he used to do on his head, but he’s really grateful to still be able to dance.

Holy Crap! This guy’s flares are fucking amazing, especially given the fact that his legs look like there about six feet tall. He’s got a lot of tricks in there but not really much else. Between the tricks he does that one standard b-boy move (you know the one I mean), and that’s about it. I wonder if he can do choreography. I think we’ll find out because he’s certainly not mind blowing enough to get a ticket straight through to Vegas.

Mary thinks he was really strong, especially his beginning. He came out with a bang, and took it to a whole other level. Terrific. Lil C loves the fact that he came out with the air flares and dropped right into the babies. Adam thinks he rocked it. He’s through to choreography.

Choreography Round! 

Justin seems to be having some problems with the choreography, and Eric sucks monkey balls. I think we all saw that one coming. Eric does not make it through. I know! I’m as shocked as you are. But we do get treated to some more of his screaming before he goes. Thanks so much for that one, show! Oh, and he also says he’ll be back, so we have that to look forward to at least.

Justin does get through to Vegas which I have to say surprised me. I don’t think Nigel would have put him through. So at the end of day one, twelve dancers have made it through to Vegas. 

Isn’t this the kid that was too young last year? Hmmmm……I dunno, maybe not. 

Day two in New Orleans. I wonder if Mary is still drunk today.

The first auditioner of day two is ballroom dancer, Kimalee Piedad. Her partner is not auditioning today because he wants to focus all his energy and attention to help her. That’s nice. They compete in the Theater Arts division, which Kimalee tells us is like ice dancing only without the ice skates.

 

WOW.  They do some amazing lifts in this routine. She can also dance well, and has some really nice lines going on. The only thing I worry about with her is that if she makes it to the top twenty, her partner could be forced to be a forklift for her like Ade was for Melissa for much of last season.

Mary thought that was just faaaaaabulous. Lil C loved it and thought she had some really interesting lifts. He thinks it was visually informative. Shut up, C. Adam calls it stunning, but he is curious about what she’s like on her own. Mary asks what other styles she does. She trained in ballet, and has done a little bit of everything, so she can do a lot of different things. Adam says yes to choreography, but Mary and Lil C put her right through to Vegas.

Up next is Micah Mixon. He grew up so poor that sometimes all there was to eat was mayonnaise sandwiches. That is really really gross. And sad. But really gross. He was a troubled kid, getting into vandalism, fights and drugs. The only good thing he really had growing up was dancing. 

He’s alright, but we already had Phillip last year, and this guy is similar to him in that he has had no formal training. I don’t know if they’re going to be willing to take that chance again this year. Also? He’s not as good a popper as Phillip was, so there’s that too.

Mary asks him what started him dancing. He saw someone doing it, and fell in love with it. He’s never had any formal training, but Mary thought he did well, especially the glides. Adam says they’ve seen all the moves he was doing before, but he made it feel fresh. 

Lil C thinks he has a wonderful base hit coming from his core, which is totally true. This kid does hit his chest pop HARD. Of course Adam asks about his childhood troubles, so we get to hear more of that before they put him through to choreography. 

If you’re not watching this show, you should be! 

Time for some more bad auditions!

This prompts Mary to lay down some rules for the remaining auditioners. These rules are wittily named: Mary’s Rules of What Not To Do. And they are acted out by Adam as we see clips of people violating said rules.

Rule Number One: Hat Pulled Down Over Eyes 

 

Rule Number Two: Reaching Out To Nowhere 

Rule Number Three: Rubbing Your Body 

And Rule Number Four: Men’s Booty Shaking (Women Need Not Refrain) 

Get it? Got it? Good!  Now we can move on to Jakob Karr. 

This kid has ridiculous control and extension, but he does love to rub his body. The judges are whispering to each other how amazing he is while he’s dancing, so I’m pretty sure he’s going to get through to Vegas.

Mary thinks that was fantastic. And then she screams. Again. Adam thinks he freaking rocks. “Your strength, Your elevation, Your everything was absolutely amazing.” Lil C thinks it was phenomenal. Vegas, obviously.

Time for the last audition of the day, Diana Drexler. Her grandfather died. Yesterday. He was fine when she left for the audition, and then yesterday her family called to tell her he had passed away. She says her song is perfect because it’s about getting through painful situations. Before this was just a dance, but now it has a story.

And that story is called “Smelly Hands” 

She’s actually not bad. She’s bit off her center in a couple of parts, but she’s a decent dancer. I think they’re going to be nicer to her than they would normally be because her grandpa just died.

Diana’s having a little bit of a hard time holding it together afterward, and when Mary asks her how she’s doing, she says she doesn’t want to be THAT girl. And with that, I like her. I still don’t think she’s amazing, but I’m glad she doesn’t want to just stand there blubbering away.

Mary thinks she is a very good dancer, and has a beautiful quality. She says it seemed effortless, and Diana says there was effort. Adam tells her that they’re aware of what happened. And she breaks down while talking about it. 

 

Et Tu Adam? 

Adam says he’d never know just watching her dance, and he doesn’t think he could have done that. He tells her her grandfather would be really proud of her right now. How does he know that? Maybe her grandfather hated dancing. Maybe he thought it was from the devil. Could happen. She is from Kentucky, you know. They put her through to choreography.

Choreography Part Deux 

Micah does not get through, but Adam wants him to keep dancing. Diana gets through to Vegas. Thanks Grandpa! Joining Diana are seventeen other dancers. 

Including a partially obstructed Antwain! 

I know it was him editors! Don’t try to hide him from me. Next Up? Salt Lake City, and then FINALLY Vegas!!

What did you think of tonight’s auditions, Gasmi? Anyone you love? Hate? Did you think Diana got a better deal because of her grandpa dying, or do you think she would have made it through to Vegas anyway? And most importantly, did you miss Nigel? Anyone? Anyone?

SWAK, PottyMouth