I’ve been feeling a bit bah-humbuggy lately, Gasmi, and I’d almost stopped believing in Santa, and then……it happened! I got an early Christmas wish come true! A Broadway number with no Sir BitchyPants in sight! And not only that! No Joey Dowling either!!! It’s an early Christmas miracle!
I wish I could say I missed you, but I didn’t, so I won’t.
Of course, if I had realized that I was going to be granted a pre-Christmas wish, I would have wished for something more practical like winning the lottery, or a spinning wheel that can spin straw into gold. Damn! I wonder if he’ll grant me TWO wishes.
Welcome! To So You Think You Can Dance (dance……….dance)!
In other news, Cat’s audition for the new Mad Max movie was running late so she had no time to change before the show!
Thunderdome’s simple. Get to the weapons, use them any way you can. I know you won’t break the rules. . . there aren’t any.
What the fuck is Asseleigh wearing?!?
I guess we’re never getting any guest judges this year unless Paula decides to show up. Thankfully that stupid chair is gone, and there is no mention of it this week. Cat introduces us to Adam, Mary and Nigel, and then points out that several of the season five dancers are here in the audience.
Probably to marvel at how season six is blowing their season out of the water.
Cat asks them to confirm that there are only nine performances left on their tour – better get your tickets fast! But that’s not why they’re here. Why they’re really here is to help Nigel with his Dizzy Feet Foundation PSA.
Blah blah blah……Dizzy Feet…….charity event that they are contractually obligated to appear at…..
He tells us that aside from the So You Think You Can Dance alumni, there will be performances from stars from Dancing With The Stars, and crews from America’s Best Dance Crew. Adam also adds that the stars of the Step Up movies are going to be there all dancing together. And Mary will be doing the samba with Dmitry. Ummmmmm, I want to go! Anyone want to fly me out to California and buy me tickets to this show? Possibly dinner too? Flipit? Californian Gasmi? Anyone?
They add more telling us that Quest will be performing (uh, Mary, they were covered when Nigel mentioned ABDC!), Alvin Ailey dancers, AND performers from American Ballet Theater. Seriously. I will put out for those tickets.
We follow that commercial with more commercials and then finally we are ready for dancing. Right after we get to the filler of the week. Today’s topic? What should America know about you?
I divorced my husband after making it onto the show! And then I knitted this beret! Isn’t it sassy?
I’ve performed in London, Italy, and the Great Wall of China. See how much more interesting I am than my partner?
So, in case you couldn’t tell, Karen and Kevin are up first. They will be doing the hustle, choreographed by Maria Torres. I don’t think we’ve seen Maria since season three’s hustle with Lacey and Kameron. But can we just say what this really is? The hustle is a disco dance, so what we’ve really got here is Disco minus Doriana! Am I dreaming? If I am, please don’t wake me up!!
In this number, Karen is supposed to be seducing Kevin, and he wonders if she has what a takes. Karen, just buy a mirror and hold it in front of you, you’re bound to get his attention! Before we get to the dancing though, I think we need to deal with the full view version of Cat’s dress……
I really don’t know what to say. Is that snake skin?
And while we’re on the subject of Cat, is it just me, or has she gotten really giggly this year? I blame the new stage. Anyway, on with the show!
They actually did a decent job with that, until he almost dropped her out of that ending lift. How nice to see a disco routine that wasn’t in warp speed with as many lifts of death as possible thrown into the mix. I have to say, I wasn’t blown away by this, but I thought they did a respectable job. I think Karen covered Kevin’s difficulty with lifts well. That’s the advantage to having a partner that does lifts and other partner work as part of her specialty.
Adam thinks they not only made it work, they made it work for them. He thinks it was amazing and that he just saw Kevin for the first time in this competition. Of course he also has praise for Karen, telling her she danced that with restraint and that she filled out each moment, even those without a lot of movement. She gave it energy and quiet fire.
Mary calls it a Sadie Hawkins hustle, but if that were truly the case then the guy Karen really wanted to dance with would have been there with his bitch of a blondie girlfriend and she would have spent the entire night wishing she could just stab her in the face. I’m guessing.
Mary thinks Karen was amazing, and a hustle queen. She gives Kevin props for his energy and performance, but says there are a few things to work on. Those things are leg action, and the partnering work; he had some awkward body positions going into some of the lifts. And in case you’re wondering, she’s leaving them both on the hot tamale train.
And I’m leaving her on the crazy train
Nigel wants to know if Kevin still keeps in touch with his friends at home. You can see Kevin wondering if that is a trick question, so he just answers, “Somewhat.” Nigel asks if they’re watching him. “Yup.” How does he know that if he’s only somewhat in touch with them?
Nigel thinks they must be so shocked to see their friend the street dancer doing double pirouettes, and a jete, and having beautiful lines. Yeah, because you never, ever, ever see anything like that on the street.
He does tell Kevin to be careful about telegraphing his nervousness, giving the death drops as an example, saying Kevin looked terribly nervous during them.
Nigel thinks what’s wonderful about Karen is that the choreographer did a wonderful routine for her. Huh? Oh wait, that was just the obligatory shout out to the choreographer. What is wonderful about Karen is that she manages each week to add something on top of whatever choreography she has been given. That is her personality and her sensuality. Nigel’s boner cannot believe how much he likes her even though she is not blond.
Ewww, Kevin is a sweaty fucker, isn’t he?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen shoulder sweat before.
Up next are Jakob and Asseleigh. What should America know about them?
My real name is Iris Myandowski, the hand walking queer!
No! Wait! I think America needs to know that I am married!
Ummm, I’m a nerd who studied poli sci and history, and lived in the library. I also
fucked interned for a US Congressman. Don’t tell Ryan, who is my husband. Did you know that I am married?
Jeannine, winner of season five, is one of my best friends. She laughs her ass off whenever anyone says this season blows season five out of the water. And then I spank her.
They will be doing a jazz routine with Mandy Moore. Yay! Mandy has decided to add a cane into the dance. Ohhhhh, props. And it’s back to the eighties for Mandy again; they are dancing to “Relax” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
I love this dance! And that is despite the fact that Asseleigh is in it, not because of her. Truth be told I spent the majority of the dance watching Jakob, even the second and third time I watched it. The fourth time I forced myself to watch Asseleigh, and she wasn’t bad in this. Probably because Mandy barely gave her anything to do. Aside from stomping around the stage and hanging onto Jakob like the big fucking albatross that she is. So, a rave review from me, but I still want Asseleigh GONE.
Cat tells them she’s giving them props for using a prop, and asks Jakob if it was difficult. He says it’s the hardest prop he’s ever had to work with in his life. I think he might be talking about Asseleigh, y’all.
Adam starts off by telling Asseleigh that she belongs on this show. I disagree, Adam. He thinks what’s so great about this partnership is that they’re actually starting to breathe together and experience things simultaneously. So that when things happen like the minor cane malfunction they go through it and no one knows. Except Adam knew. Because he knows these things.
Nigel says he didn’t even notice it. Cat asks Jakob to tell her what the moment was, but he says he has no idea what Adam is talking about. Very cute.
Adam also thinks it’s fun to see each week how the choreographers find news ways to get him to jump. And then he goes on and on and on about how flexible Jakob is.
Let’s test it out later in my dressing room
Mary thinks this is a perfect partnership and that they were phenomenal. She thought their use of the stage was terrific, Mandy’s choreography was terrific, use of the stage was terrific, just terrific. Someone lost their thesaurus, I see. She adores them.
Nigel talks about how fabulous the table was that Mandy did back in season three, and he thinks this routine comes up to that standard. He loves the intensity she gave him to work with. He went to see some ballroom championship the other night and he is so impressed with how much the ballroom dancers are doing outside of the normal ballroom stuff (probably because they have been watching this show. They would never do anything else on their own) and Asseleigh is representing ballroom on this show and representing them brilliantly.
She is also representing clowns brilliantly.
Nigel says that Jakob reminds him of Joel Grey. Wow. That is high praise indeed. I LOVE Joel Grey. If you somehow don’t know who he is, here is a clip from Cabaret (not Wilkommen). He’s the one who is not Liza.
He’s also been in Chicago and Wicked on Broadway as well as countless movie and TV appearances, including one of my favorite now defunct HBO shows, Oz. AND I’ve heard a rumor that Oliver! will be coming to Broadway next year with him as Fagin!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but if it is, I will definitely be there!!
Okay, sorry about that, I just really do love Joel Grey. Back to Nigel’s comments. He thinks Jakob is an absolutely stunning dancer. I agree.
The next couple up are Pauline and Peter. Let’s find out what we didn’t know about them.
I eat spaghetti!!
Actually, Peter’s filler answer is a good one. He volunteers at a place called Spin which stands for Special People In The Northeast. Every year they put on a talent show and he helps them with their dances.
See how eating spaghetti can make you a better person?
Shit. How can I compete with that? I’ll just stuff my face.
Seriously. That is the thing Pauline chooses to share with us. She eats. A lot. Peter’s hoping she doesn’t eat a lot before they dance; if they’re doing a lot of lifts he doesn’t want anything coming out except her personality. GROSS.
They have drawn the quickstep as their style. Dun dun duh! We have new choreographers for this style, JT and Tomas. Pauline is really scared because there’s usually no middle ground with this dance; it’s either really good or really bad. JT tells us it’s very quick. I’m guessing that’s why they call it the quickstep. Duh.
The story of this particular quickstep is that a Navy guy gets entranced by a hula girl. So 2009! They’ll be dancing to “Hey Baby! (Shake Those Hula Hips)” by Big Kahuna and The Copa Cat Pack.
First of all, isn’t Peter dressed as an Army guy, not Navy? Do Navy guys ever wear khakis??
Huh! I guess they do. I stand corrected.
I thought they did a good job on this number; it was really cute. I think Pauline could have used a little more hip shakin’, but I thought they handled the quickstep pretty well. It made me smile.
Adam thinks the routine was aDORable. A-doooor-able. Adam is going to leave the quickstep technique discussion up to Mary. He thinks by giving the dance a lot of story and character they may have blown past some of the technical missteps that otherwise would have been more noticeable.
He also thinks it was a great use of Pauline’s natural ethnicity. Is she Hawaiian? He thinks Pauline was appropriately adorable, and Peter was on fire and used his natural charisma well in the dance. Oh! And did he mention he thinks it was adorable?
Mary says she always expects a train wreck when it comes to the quickstep on this show, but she thinks they pulled it off tonight. BUT. The leg action wasn’t really there; they were kind of clunking along a little bit. She also talks about how Pauline’s position in the close hold was too far off to the side. But she loved how they brought the joy of the quickstep to this performance. Train wreck avoided.
Nigel says it wasn’t technically perfect, he rehashes some of what Mary said, adding a couple of other things, and then says he really didn’t care. Why didn’t he care? He thinks it was a fabulous performance and America votes on performance. He doesn’t think they are going anywhere. We shall see, Nigel.
He also gives a shout out to JT and Tomas, saying that he thinks this is the first time that he’s ever seen a quickstep with a story to it. Hello? Is he in the early stages of Alzheimer’s or something? Vitolio and Karla’s quickstep just LAST SEASON had a story. Remember, Nigel?
Who and Who?
Up next are Kathryn and Legacy. Let’s see what they want to share with us. Kathryn tells us she recently went on a mission to Costa Rica and helped build sidewalks for underprivileged neighborhoods. Ummm, seriously, Kathryn? How I am supposed to make fun of that?
Damn you and your mission!
Legacy was supposed to be a professional soccer player. He had scholarships and everything! What happened? He’s not telling, but he puts all that energy and all his heart into dancing.
I’m annoyed by how much he is growing on me. I was hoping to hold out for strong hatred all season, the way I did with Lauren. Oh well, At least I still have Asseleigh for that.
They will be performing a Broadway routine choreographed by
Andy Fluffernutter. Andy Knickerbocker. Andy Blankenbuehler. WOO HOO!!!!! I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am that Sir BitchyPants is not doing Broadway!! I never in a million years thought I would see the day. Hip Hip HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!
Andy tells us this routine is like a battle between them. Legacy is the king of the jungle, and his sassy girl wants some attention. There is a remote and a hat involved. Sounds like every day in my parents’ marriage. They’re dancing to “I Wanna Be Like You” by Swingin Fireballs! Why couldn’t they have used the original song from the movie? Annoying.
It was a cute number. I really hated Kathryn’s costume. I guess the only issue I would have with this is that there wasn’t a whole lot of WOW in the dance, you know?
Adam’s favorite word of the evening is adorable. He thinks this routine was adorable. Thanks Andy! Adam says that Broadway is the big underline of character and acting but it’s also important to have a lot of technique and stop and flair. He wasn’t sure what Kathryn’s character was. He wanted her to be more of a man eater. I think it might be a little hard to portray man eater while wearing a denim diaper, keds, and a little ribbon tied ponytail.
Adam thinks this is yet another huge step in Legacy’s growth (he calls his “Legs” which I think is cute and a million times better than Legacy). He thinks there is no way he should have been able to get through that, but he totally did. Adam does want him to go back and look at Gene Kelly, Bob Fosse, and Gower Champion to look at their hands. Legacy has too much hand tension; he needs more softness through the hands.
Mary thinks it was missing a little bit of chemistry between the two of them. She ALSO thinks the routine was absolutely adorable. Mary thinks that Kathryn got a little lost in this number but she’s not sure if it’s because Legacy is growing in leaps and bounds and really surprising them so much.
Nigel was a little disappointed in Kathryn this week. He can’t put his finger on it, but she felt slightly juvenile to him. When he got to Legacy he says it’s like the show has some sort of alien transmorpher that turns street dancers into complete dancers. Ugh. He really is so full of it. Nigel thinks he really was terrific.
The next couple telling us about themselves is Victor and Channing. I wonder what they’ll share.
I never knew you could race lawn mowers. How old do you think she is in this picture? I’m trying to figure out at what age I can make my kid start mowing the lawn.
They will be dancing a contemporary piece choreographed by Stacey Tookey. Yay! I really liked the number she did last week. This week’s piece is about a toxic relationship. Stacey is expecting a lot from them since they are both in their own style.
Eh. They danced it well, but I didn’t love it. I don’t find either of them to be particularly charismatic on stage, so together I think they sort of form a black hole of personality. It was good, it just didn’t blow me away.
Adam says he thinks this new partnership is going to reinvigorate them back into the competition. He thinks Victor is bringing out the femininity of Channing. He thinks it was danced beautifully and that there was great quality to their movement. They worked beautifully off each other. Good job.
Mary also thinks this is a great new partnership. She thinks they did a tremendous and phenomenal job. Did it take it to a level where it touched her soul? No, but she enjoyed it.
Nigel says they’re two contemporary dancers getting to do a contemporary piece, so they HAD to be good tonight. Was he emotionally carried away by it? No. Was he technically? Yes, they danced it very well. He was expecting more because they were dancing their own style.
Time to hear a little more about Ryan and Ellenore.
I am Mexican, African American, American Indian, Italian, Hawaiian, and Filipino.
I have a secret desire to be a superhero in an action movie!
They will be doing a hip hop number by Lil C. How bummed out do you think he is that he didn’t get Russell? Lil C tells us this routine will be focusing on timing, swagger, and synergy. Hip hop scares Ryan. Dude! You’re married to Asseleigh! What could be scarier than that?!?
That sucked. Hard. I can’t even blame it all on Ryan, I thought Ellenore sucked as well. It’s not that ballroom guys can’t do hip hop. Remember Pasha and Lacey’s number? Of course, it wasn’t as hard hitting as this, but I loved that one. Wanna see it again? I do!
Adam wants to know whose face lost more color when they saw who they were getting: Ryan or Lil C? He tells us how hard it is to take on styles that are so much different than what you do. I thought that was the whole purpose of the show, Adam.
He thinks Ryan is the most transformed dancer of the night. Bleh. I don’t agree at all. He didn’t think they danced great, but they did good. He doesn’t like their costumes. Me either. I think they look like the sperm guys in Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask.
For Mary it wasn’t great, but it was good. She thinks it got a little sluggish halfway through, and the synchronicity wasn’t really there. Just good.
Nigel did not think that was good at all. He doesn’t think the style suited them at all. He does make a good point, saying that if it had been Tabitha and Napoleon they probably would have thrown some jazz in there for them, but with Lil C they’re not going to get that.
He doesn’t think either of their personalities suit the style. They’re just too nice. So nice guys can’t do hip hop? That is so stupid. He says it was just not there in any way shape or form for him tonight.
Let’s move along to Mowee and Nathan. Do I really have to hear any more about Mowee? I guess so. She tells us she is deaf in her left ear. At one point she wore a hearing aid, but she hated it because it threw off her balance while she was dancing, so she stopped wearing it.
I keep telling Nathan to talk into my right ear, but he keeps going over to the left. I wonder if he’s telling me how much he loves being my partner?
I love jet skiing because you get to be in the wild and experience the wind blowing into you.
Please keep in mind that Nathan’s caption is a direct quote. Oh yeah. He sure is purty, but maybe not all there in the brain department.
They will be dancing a salsa choreographed by Gustavo Vargas, another new choreographer! I am LOVING all this new blood this week!! Gustavo says they are going to need to have a lot of flavor. He wants Nathan to bring the coolness out of him, and Mowee needs to be sexy and strong. Yeah, that’ll happen.
I really didn’t think it was going to get much worse than that hip hop number. Oh how wrong I was. That was fucking painful. Note to Mowee – dancing with your hair hanging over into your face with your mouth open does not equal being sexy. The partnering moves were so awkward and uncomfortable to watch.
Adam says get ready to boo him. He didn’t like it. The audience boos. He says he asked them to do it, and is it as good when he asks them to boo him? It was good for him. The booing, not the dance. He thinks this is one of those numbers that just exposed all their weaknesses. He happens to know that they are fan favorites, so that will help them. Does he have proof of that?
Mary didn’t think it was sexified, she thinks it was French fried. But hey! She likes French fries! Then she calls them the dream team. What? Did I miss something? Since when did they become the dream team? That’s a bunch of hooey.
She thinks the side by side work was off, and the feel of the dance was just not there. Nathan wasn’t suave enough in that dance, and Mowee seemed uncomfortable in those high heels. Well, probably because she’s only ever worn them playing dress up before this, Mary! Jeesh!
Nigel says he thinks it’s a sobering night for many of the dancers this evening. He talks about how they’ve been saying how great this top twenty is and how they’re the best ever, but they just aren’t living up to it, are they Nigel?
He thinks their chemistry was missing for the first time, but I disagree. I don’t think they’ve actually had any chemistry yet. Maybe if they get a dance where they need to hate each other, because I sort of think they do. Nigel says this is a learning experience, so hopefully they’ve learned this week that they’re not great at everything.
Cat wants to know if they felt uncomfortable. Nathan felt HOT. Uh oh. Nigel thinks perhaps he didn’t learn anything then. I think he may have just put himself on Nigel’s shit list.
Last but not least, we have Noelle and Russell. Noelle would like us to know that she has a big family. But she’s not Italian!!! How did that happen? I wonder if they eat spaghetti.
She says she’s learned a lot from her family, especially from her brother who had a stroke when he was younger. He tells us he was choked up to find out he was her inspiration. Aww, that’s sweet.
Russell not only dances, he also draws. That totally made me think of Hok. It looks like he actually has some pretty cool stuff in his notepad.
They will be dancing an afro jazz piece choreographed by Sean Cheesman. Neither of them have any clue what afro jazz is. I think they’re not really using their brains right now because how hard is it to come up with African influenced jazz? What did they think it was? Jazz while wearing giant afro wigs? Hee! I’d actually like to see that!
The story for this number is that Russell is a frog and Noelle is an African princess.
Sean tells us Russell’s not just a frog, he’s
a prince also her spirit guide and he’s taking her on a spiritual fast paced walkabout. I thought walkabouts were in Australia. Are there African walkabouts too? Sean thinks their strengths and weaknesses help each other out; he thinks they are a perfect team and a perfect match.
I really liked that one A LOT. Of course, some of it is because I just love Russell, but I thought Noelle was fantastic in that as well. She has not really been high up on my list what with being hurt and then that atrocious hip hop last week, but I have to say, I thought she really hit it out of the park on this one. Russell was fabulous. I thought he had the frog-like mannerisms down really well. It really was a perfect routine for him to shine in.
Adam thinks that was a great entrance for Sean into the show. I agree. He thinks the number had an enormous amount of joy and a lot of character and story so they could really sell it to the audience and connect with them.
He says the first person he thinks of when he thinks of African princess is Noelle. Oh hardy har har, Adam. Luckily he quickly goes back to his critique saying that the dance was relentless, but they never stopped and they were totally committed to the characters. They were filled with all the spirit that the dance required. He had a great time watching it.
Mary looks like she’s going to scream her head off, and then she quietly tells them that was crazy. And then yells about how crazy good it was. She says she was shocked by how dynamic and powerful Noelle was. She expects that from Russell, but says she got even more from him than she expected.
She says they were eating it up, not just doing a bunch of steps. She crowns Russell the King of Afro Jazz, and then she puts him on the hot tamale train.
Russell celebrates by almost clocking his partner in the face.
This is the first time Nigel has seen afro jazz and he’s hoping that Sean will come back and give us some more. He thinks with that fusion that Russian Folk jazz might even work.
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He thinks that Russell is a star of this season. He says that the character of the frog isn’t dissimilar from the character of a krumper. I actually agree with him there; I thought I could see some krumping influence in the moves that Russell was doing.
Nigel tells Noelle that she just scraped by last week, but he’s so happy she did so that we could see her in this performance. He thinks she did a really good job.
After an overview of the evening’s performances and reminder of their numbers, Cat asks who the judges think needs to be worried after tonight’s show. Nigel? He thinks Ryan and Ellenore. Mary? Nathan and Mowee. Adam thinks their fans could save them, but he still thinks they could be in trouble, or maybe Ryan and Ellenore. But it’s now in the hands of the fans.
And that’s this week’s show, Gasmi. What did you think of the performances this week? Did you love Russell and Noelle as much as I did? What about Jakob and Asseleigh? Do you think she’s just dead weight he’s lugging around, or do you see something more in her? I think I liked the Broadway number more than I should have; probably all the excitement about Frankenfurter choreographing instead of Sir BitchyPants. Which dances did you think were the best and which sucked the worst? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
I am jumping right over to the results show, so I will have it for you as soon as possible! We have so much to talk about!! Ready? Set? Go!