Prepare to Die! Hollah dance fans – it’s elimination night and time to crush some dreams and make some memories! It’s… So You Think You Can Dance! I know this is late – but didn’t want you to miss out on it – you’ll have this Wednesday’s soon!
The night starts off with a KICK ASS hip hop routine by the whole cast. It’s like a present-day MJ “Criminal” video. I love when Twitch comes out – he’s all cool and Godfather-like and he has the other dancers take his coat. Yup – he’s all but guaranteed a spot in the finals.
The best part is at the end…
When they all curl up in the fetal position when Mia sits at the judge’s table.
Cat comes out and I swear she went to tickle Gev’s nuts while he was in that “Y” position – but she just goes for the side… chicken.
Our judges are back from the night before – including Mia Michaels…
Who compliments her butch hair cut with a lumber jack’s shirt.
And Mary Murphy…
Who apparently raided FOX’s vault of costumes from “Cleopatra”.
And of course, Nigel, who’s wearing a boring old suit as usual. We get right into it tonight as the first three couples are brought to the stage.
First up – Katee and Joshua who fantastically performed a Broadway number. If they’re in the bottom 3 I’ll be nice to Mia this whole recap. And they’re SAFE! WHEW! That would’ve been horrifically difficult.
Next – Kherington and Twitch who danced the tear-jerker Jean-Marc routine about his daughter. I find it VERY INTERESTING that in the clips they show there’s NO mention of Mia making a big shit stink over Kton “smiling too much”. Nigel probably handed her ass to her after the show. Although he’s not walking like he threw his back out – so maybe not.
Thayne and Chelsea are also up there. They got ripped out over there fluffy royal jazz piece. Although I love them I’d have to agree. BTW – one of you gasmi wrote about how you thought Thayne looks like Benji – TOTALLY! He does – BUT – so far I like Thayne better. And he’s cuter. Benji got on my nerves.
Cat reveals that Thayne and Chelsea are the ones in the bottom 3 (Kton and Twitch are safe!). Mia of course has to add “America got it right – sorry my little dumplings”. GOD. If I was one of the dancers I’d be so tempted to say “Awww – fuck you very much Mia!”
Up next – Mark and Chelsie who danced the AMAZING tango – COMPLETELY my favorite dance of the night. I would totally learn it if it didn’t involve me breaking bones to make it happen. I could wear the suit and eat Argentinean food though! And be moody! I’d be so good at it!
Of course they’re safe – the audience goes crazy – and what’s this I see in the audience?!
Is that Benji’s Dad holding the friggin’ LED screen?! You’re kidding me. Is it?! I can’t tell. Apparently he likes Chelsie though. If she’s related to Benji I’m over her. That family is like the Bush’s of Dance.
Next up – Matt and Kourtni who had a light, jazzy number. It got mixed reviews. At least poor Matt didn’t get railed on for his personality again. I bet if he takes off his shirt everyone will stop bitching about it.
Also on the chopping block – Jessica and Will. They had an OK Hip-Hop routine. According to the judges – Will was sent by the Gods and Jessica eats shit sandwiches. It’s only a matter of time they break her and she ends up clubbing Will’s knee.
Cat reads the results… and Matt and Kourtni are SAFE – whhhhaaaa? Oh wait – Jessica and Will are too! Oh Cat – you sassy trickster! That would’ve been great if Will turned to Jessica in that small in-between moment and said “You stupid bitch – you’re ruining my life!” Either that or Debbie Allen would’ve marched up there and tore her up.
Next up – Susie de Miami and Marquis de Sade. In a clip from before their dance, Susie and Marquis ask us how we like our Salsa – spicy or hot?!
Neither. Both give me stomach cramps. Much like your Salsa did.
The judges went crazy on their ass – pretty much calling it a big pile of no-chemistry poop. Cat then reveals that they are in the bottom three. Poor bastards. Mary tries to back track and says they just had a difficult dance and she looks forward to their solos. Yeah – she can’t wait to tear into them yet again.
Up next – Chris and Comfort. They krumped their way into krap reviews from the judges. Although Mia thought Chris pulled it off – Mary and Nigel made fun of him for not being tough enough. Yeah – he should follow Mia around for a day and watch her beat orphans and club baby seals. Lesson learned!
Also on the block – Gev and Courtney. They performed a very romantic modern dance. The judges thought the technique was there but the emotion wasn’t. Mary screamed about it in general. But I think she just does that when she can’t read the teleprompter.
Cat reveals that Chris and Comfort are in the bottom 3. Awww – Vanilla and Ms. Sass better step it up!
While the dancers all run backstage to prepare for their solos and start panic-shitting, previous contender Tino Munez comes on out to perform a flamenco routine. And it’s MUY CALIENTE!!! Ummmm – why has he never been on the show?!?
HOLY HOTNESS! Can we please kick an extra guy off tonight and put this one in his place?!?
Seriously – this guy has what at least half of this season’s boys are missing – presence and confidence. Wow. With any luck they’ll use him to replace that stupid fucking snuggle bear.
Speaking of which – here’s a segment with the pushy lil’ fucker. As much fun as I make of him – at least he bring us fantastic “dancers-on-the-street” moments like this:
It’s nice to see Big Al from Country Bear Jamboree finally found love.
First up for solo dance – Chelsea T. I think it’s probably her most passionate dance yet. Usually she’s a bit more aggressive but tonight I thought it was beautiful. Possibly a bit too simple though.
Thayne (Bizarro-Benji) is up now and he does something similar – passionate and subtle. I don’t know if that’s going to help or hurt them.
Now Susie – who does alot of hip-shakin’ Shakira-style dancin’. It doesn’t really do anything for me. She dances too much like a stripper and all that I can think of is that she’s a school teacher and her students are watching this. Can you imagine?!? My highschool would’ve had a riot.
As a side not – I think the time they’re given is WAY to short for a solo! Give them more time Nigel. THEY’RE DANCING FOR THEIR LIVES!!!
Next up is Marquis who REALLY seems like he’s trying. You can tell he pulled every little trick he had out of his spin and flip hat. And he actually looks like he’s enjoying himself for the first time this season.
Last girl up is Comfort who busts out a hip-hop routine. It’s very quick and snappy.
Finally, Chris is the last one to dance. It’s alright – kind of mediocre to be honest. I was expecting a little more. He kept leaping in the air to do what I thought was something special but would only do like a “twitter” thing.
Nah – more like a bush.
It’s then time for the judges to head backstage and deliberate. I totally wish we could hear what that sounds like! I’m sure at one point Mia says:
“Well – what if we just kicked off another girl instead of a guy? And did you see what Cat was wearing tonight?! Stupid! She’s so dirty it makes me banoodle in my pants. Speaking of – I have to remember to pick up my flannel pants from the laundry-mat. They be stank.”
Next up we have “Flo Rida” who, according to Cat and her cue cards, is one of the top producers and artists in the world.
Apparently so – I think he wears the medal for this around his neck.
There’s a lot of “Throw your hands in the air!” Which I never appreciate when at a concert. If I’m having a good time and you’re doing a good job, my hands should already be in the air. But you telling me to do it – oh no – I paid good money for these tickets – YOU put your hands in the air. And get me a diet coke while you’re at it.
Does anyone else get a laugh out of where the judges have their big deliberations?
A stairwell backstage?! Was the dumpster in the alley already taken? This is important shit!! Shouldn’t they be in a conference room with power point presentations and graphs?! (At least this afforded us the chance to see the horror that is Mary’s complete outfit.)
Up first on the block – the ladies! But first – Nigel goes into a 3 minute monologue about what a great player Kobe Bryant is. No really. Honestly Nigel – a basketball analogy?! Wrrrong crowd. Figure skating, maybe. But not basketball. Anything but basketball! (Or football, hockey, and wrestling for that matter.)
Anyways – he just wanted them to know if they lose tonight – they’re still a great dancer. Just like Kobe Bryant. You should see him plie.
Nigel lets Chelsea off the hook first – she’s SAFE! And rightfully so – she’s definitely the best one up there. Next he tells Susie that she’s lost that spark that brought here hear. Ouch. That’s gotta hurt. He should have just told her she’s not as good as they thought she was. Seemed to work wonders with Jean-Marc.
Next he tells Comfort that he knows it’s difficult because she hurt herself and that she hasn’t had the chance to find her potential – but they saw a glimmer of it tonight in the Shane Spark’s routine – so… they’re KEEPING HER!
And she pays them back with a respectable amount of stank face.
So our little HTM, Susie is headed back to Mee-ah-mee. Don’t worry Charo – there’s plenty of poles to make a career on back home.
Finally – the guys! I’m almost positive Marquis has already wet himself. The writing’s on the wall. If i was him I totally would’ve brought a suitcase out on stage with me.
All three boys are contemporary. Hmmm – looks like America’s old-fashioned then? Nigel nails Marquis for using too many “tricks” and sends little Marquis de “Thanks for sealing my fate Charo” home. It’s especially sad during his “piss off” montage he says “Dance to me means an opportunity and a future.” EEK. Not so much today kid. Cat’s like “You do have a future! (under her breath) Just not on this stage – there ya go love – off to the cupboard with you now.”
And that’s it! What does everyone think?!?! I know this is a bit late but I’ll be making it up to you with an early (for me anyways) recap of this Wednesday’s show. Until then – let me know your thoughts – this show’s kinda wacked this season huh?! DISH IT!