Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Performance Show: Jazz Hands!

In the last performance show before the Top 10, we get a nice combination of great performances and honest criticism from the judges. There are some surprises including an 80′s-eriffic Jazzericize routine. Hence, the photo above.

So crimp your hair and put on your favorite ribbed lycra leotard, it’s time for SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

Eh, not feeling the usual dress-envy tonight, Cat. The orange scrunched number does nothing for her figure and she’s like yea-big. After the solos, Cat reminds us that tonight is the last night many of these pairs will dance together, as starting next week, everyone will be picking their partners at random. That should be interesting considering all the short men this year. ahemDomincahem.

Eh. Not so much.

After Cat introduces our jidges, Nigel reminds us of how much is at stake tonight. Not only do you get the bragging rights of being in the Top 10, but you get to go on the tour as well, bringing… um… fame? More like fame-ish.

Tonight’s guest judge is Wade Robson, who I’m pretty sure is stoned. He rivals Mia Michaels in spacey commentary. Basically, he’s into humans. Okay… Also new to the panel, Mary Murphy’s dark, thick eyebrows. Whose idea was that? That person should be fired.

I was staring at those brows for so long it took three glances to catch this hideous outfit.

Up first tonight are Sabra and Dominic. I think the powers-that-be on this show might just have heard my complaints because tonight’s interviews focus on what each person likes and dislikes about his or her partner. Awesome! Gossip! Sabra likes how funny Dominic is, and we all know how much she likes comedians. Dominic’s favorite thing about Sabra is either how much he can trust her or her puffy hair. It’s a toss-up. Sabra says the worst thing about him is that he drops her… a lot. We see clips and hoo, that looks painful. Dominic counters that the worst thing about Sabra is that she doesn’t trust him not to drop her. Well after that freaking MONTAGE of footage of you dropping her, I really don’t blame her!

Why you always gotta look scared?

This week the pair will be doin’ the Jive. Heh, Dominic has a moment where he uses Sabra’s afro as a microphone and I think this marks the first time I’ve actually found him funny. In rehearsal, Sabra mentions that she doesn’t know much about the Jive, but she doesn’t think it has a lot of lifts. Tony Meredith is all, yeah, about that…

Mary will go on about technical things later, but I have to say I really enjoyed this effort. Really it’s the first week I’ve seen what they rave about in Dominic. It’s all fast-paced and NOT set to Avril Lavigne. So enjoyable. The lift goes off without a hitch, though it does look laborious and not as free-and-easy as I think others make their lifts. But, Sabra’s still in one piece and that’s important too, right?

Wade loves the positive energy from the pair and thinks the universe does as well. He and the universe are like besties and tell each other all their deepest thoughts.

Puff puff give, Bogie.

Mary thought it was great that they just let loose and danced, though she did think their kicks were too high at times. You’re too high. Nigel calls them the best pair, with the exception of Benji and Heidi, to have ever been on the show together. Then he makes an awful joke about Dominic being from Sacramento and it being gold rush country and Dominic is gold, etc. Nigel’s been squeezing that gem all week. Sorry dude. Still coal.

Jamie really likes “the whole idea of [Hok]” – that he looks Japanese, speaks with a British accent and cooks her Italian food. It confuses her, but she likes it. Guys, I know she’s not bright, but I don’t care! I have a total girl-crush on Jamie. Hok likes Jamie’s hair. God, what is with all these boys liking their partner’s hair? Jamie actually doesn’t like Hok’s hair because she chokes on his braids sometimes. Look, I already acknowledged she’s not an Einstiein, okay? Hok says (in Japanese!) that he doesn’t like that Jamie is taller than he in heels. Aw, the short man’s plight.

This week the pair will dance a Broadway routine choreographed by Tyce DiOrio. And Travis from last season is assisting! That’s kind of what I like about this show, and I guess the dancing world in general. There’s clearly not a huge amount of soul-sucking fame to be had in dance, so even last year’s runner-up remains humble. Like you would ever see Blake assisting on American Idol without mention. Um, well in his case, maybe you would.

Anyways, Tyce explains that Jamie and Hok are dancing to “Mr. Bojangles” and that this is a “classic Broadway piece.” He says what makes it classic is the style. No, what makes it classic is the original Bob Fosse choreography, and you, sir, are no Bob Fosse. You’re not even a Wade Robson. Oh yeah, I said it!

Hok’s supposed to be an old man, and Jamie, his spirit. Well, bring it.

Hok’s spirit has a hoo haw!

They don’t really. I mean, Jamie is her usual airy, ethereal self, but this routine never really sings like, for example, the hummingbird routine did. It just doesn’t connect. Wade agrees with me, saying that if Hok hadn’t said he was an old man, they’d never have known that from his performance. Across the board, the judges praise Jamie, but think Hok could have been better. And hey, did you know Nigel likes Jamie’s lines?

Before we go to commercial, we get a brief glimpse of Sara and Pasha in their costumes for their jazz routine and I was literally laughing out loud for the entire commercial break.

HAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME

I can already tell I’m going to love this. The pair complain about who takes longer to get ready, though I’m inclined to believe that Pasha takes longer than Sara. This week the pair are performing a Jazz routine. Based on their outfits, I would say this will be akin to the Jazz routine I did in dance class when I was 7. I wore a white unitard with mutli-colored fluorescent hearts and arm bands with hot pink fringe. At the time I thought it was the height of fashion. I am such a child of the 80′s.

In rehearsals, Mandy Moore (choreographer, not pop star), is very enthusiastic about jazz hands. F-ing FINALLY! And everyone’s wearing suspenders, so I have a feeling those will factor into the routine.

Still funny!

Ok, I’m still giggling at their outfits on repeat viewing, but I will say it takes a certain innate sexiness to overcome skinny jeans on a dude coupled with white jazz shoes and DAMN does Pasha have it. Their dancing to Queen’s “Body Language” and there’s lots of very sharp 80′s-ish movement that’s faintly reminiscent of Jazzercize. Like, maybe if Perfect were ever made into a musical as Charles Isherwood kiddingly suggested in the Times last week, this would be a number in it. This is also a great clip. Don’t ask my why I’m so familiar with this movie. I told you, I am a child of the 80′s.

Wade really liked the number. Yeah, as did the WORLD. That was awesome. Mary, however, isn’t sure that this number will keep them out of the bottom. Nigel too, isn’t sure if they will be safe. He’s not sure if they could communicate with the audience because they were so stylized. Shut up, we got it, old man.

Lauren thinks the best thing about Neil is that he’s an attractive guy. That’s not shallow at all. Neil also likes that Lauren is an attractive guy, which would be funnier if she wasn’t actually so mannish. Now it’s just kind of mean. I don’t know why, but I get an asshole vibe off Neil. Probably that devil laugh he gave to someone on the side that was all, “oh yeah, I just called her a guy!”

Dick.

And I don’t even like Lauren all that much! Anyways, Lauren doesn’t like that Neil tells awful jokes. Neil doesn’t like that Lauren doesn’t laugh at his “awesome” jokes. Crickets. Awesome jokes, guys.

This week the pair are doing a Mia Michaels contemporary routine. Right after Neil tells us how excited he is to work with her because he thinks the movement fits well on his body, we see him being injured over and over again. Ha, slap him around Lauren, no complaints here. Apparently Lauren is getting bruised up as well, though. I guess that’s the “Mia Michaels Experience”. Everyone’s always talking about like it’s a ride at Disney World.

This is one of those freaky routines. They’re in goggles, hats and gloves and I think they’re bobblehead people… like, warring bobblehead people. They dance and throw each other around the stage a lot and it’s very cool. Lauren and Neil perform it well, I think because this is a routine that requires no chemistry between the two of them.

Stretching’s hot.

Wade loves a twisted mind and applauds Mia for hers. He compliments their musicality in this complicated routine. Mary didn’t get it, but she enjoyed it nonetheless. She thought they didn’t match at times, but the technical difficulty adds points. She calls it good, but not great. Nigel didn’t get it either and cracks some joke about welding. Huh. He’s not sure he enjoyed it, though he does equate their dancing to a Picasso he didn’t enjoy. Uncultured swine!

Danny likes all the crazy costumes Anya wears when dancing for her life. He calls her leopard unitard “the 70′s couch” and her black and blue number “the lampshade… because she was being shady.” It’s kind of funny, but he also seems like he’s mocking her. Anya likes how good looking Danny is. She points out that he’s the only guy who can wear skinny jeans and heeled ballroom shoes and still look “a-mazing.” I dunno, Anya, take a look at your old partner, Pasha. Danny doesn’t like that Anya makes him rehearse at all hours of the night while she doesn’t like that he loses focus in rehearsals. Oh those two! Such an odd couple!

This week the pair will be performing the Foxtrot. Anya’s hoping for a slower routine after injuring her ankle the week before, but no such luck. Dancing to “It Had to Be You,” the pair look straight out of an old movie. I love it. They’re just so smooth where they need to be, sharp where they need to be and freaking GLORIOUS.

Like the Good Lord intended it to be.

Wade starts his comments by remarking that this is an important moment for he, Wade, “but more importantly for you” because he was all ready with something to say to Danny based on his previous performances, but after seeing that routine Wade’s throwing his pre-prepared speech out. For the first time, Wade bought Danny’s performance and he thinks the pair were elegant and classically beautiful. Mary says that while Wade was surprised, it was no surprise to her. She calls them fantastic and bumps them up to first class on the hot tamale train. Oh, she’s so delusional. Nigel thinks it was the best Foxtrot he’s ever seen on that stage, and ONCE AGAIN brings up Dancing with the Stars saying they’ll have to rename it Dancing with the Celebrities because “the real stars are here!” Cheese!

Kameron and Lacey are the last pair up. Kameron loves that all of Lacey’s experience is where he’s weakest: ballroom, so she can really help him out. Lacey likes how good looking Kameron is, which makes working closely with him very easy. Lols, the editors play some porn-y music in the background and a voiceover whispers “Oh yeah” as Lacey mouths it to the cameras. Dirrty. The worst thing about Lacey is her smelly weave, according to Kameron, though she counters that the worst thing about him is that he sweats so much. Sexy!

This week the pair are doing a Dan Karaty hip-hop routine. After they find out, Lacey and Kameron do some of the whitest rapping I’ve ever seen. I thought dancers were supposed to have good rhythm? Dan explains that the routine is boy-chases-girl, though in this case the girl is “nasty.”

Glade Plugin, anyone?

Geez, nasty she is. Lacey’s in a cheerleader uniform, so we get a whole lot of her ass in this routine. It’s certainly not the best hip-hoping I’ve ever seen. And I’m really not a fan of the move where, after Lacey’s character has decided she likes Kameron’s, she shakes her ass at him. I just like to think that’s what separates us from the animal world, though you’d never know it based on one night out at Marquee. This should have been Kameron’s time to shine and show the judges he’s more than a prop – I mean he had a solo and it’s his main style – but as much as I love him, I’m not that wowed by his dancing here.

So who’s the skank?

The judges agree that Kameron fell short. Wade thinks Kameron dances too heavily, but has a soft musicality. Wade wants him to dance “inside of the music” whatever that means. Wade has criticism for Lacey, as well, saying that while she’s certainly professional, her performances seem a bit contrived and one-dimensional. Ouch. Mary also didn’t love Kameron, but looooves Lacey. Nigel points out that Kameron had his chance to shine tonight after Lacey “carried [them] for the past few weeks” (Harsh! I love it) but he didn’t deliver. He thinks they deserve to be in the bottom, but acknowledges that it’s entirely up to America.

My picks tonight are Danny and Anya for the best, Jamie and Hok for worst. What are your thoughts?