Sons of Anarchy Recap: Holy Shitballs!

Sons of Anarchy

By ApplePie | Wednesday, September 12, 2012 | 1:00 pm | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Sons of Anarchy

Hi, Gasmii!  I’m so excited to be recapping SoA this season.  If you haven’t seen this show before … well, I don’t think I can catch you up on the last four seasons.  However, this graphic is exemplary of what you can expect from this show:

Yes, she hit her in the face with a skateboard.  Trust me, she had a good reason.

Last season, a whole lotta shit happened, but what it boils down to is: Opie shot Clay for killing Piney (his dad), Clay blamed the Niners for Piney’s murder, so Tig shot at Leroy but killed his girlfriend instead — who happened to be the daughter of a very powerful northern California gangster.  Lots of other secrets were revealed last season (except Gemma’s role in J.T.’s death), Jax took over but can’t escape the club with his family until the CIA is off their backs, and Tara completely evolved from poor-little-M.D.-in-love-with-the-wrong-guy to bad-ass old lady.

Look familiar, Gemma?  Except I won’t kill him and stuff.

We open Season 5 (yay!) with a Jax voiceover, waxing poetic in what we can assume is a diary entry meant for his sons, in the spirit of what J.T. did for him.  During the voiceover we see Jax and most of the Charming SoA guys out on a drug run, Clay setting up his sweet, sweet bachelor pad now that Gemma has kicked him out, and finally, for the first Holy Shitballs moment of the episode, Gemma getting it from behind from — is that JIMMY SMITS?  Naked?  Never mind the two young unclothed girls passed out in the same room; we SoA fans are used to small-scale orgy scenes, but this blows my mind!

Methinks something else got blown this evening, too.

Anywho, we see Tara toking it up in the bathtub, taking special care to keep that career-ending injured arm out of the water.  As Jax and the guys are bringing the shipment of blow back to Charming, their truck is attacked by unidentified black gangsters.  Filthy Phil, the newest SoA member, or as I like to call him, Chubby Former Prospect, is driving the truck behind the convoy of bikes, so none of the other guys see the two gangster vehicles plow into him and cause the truck to flip. 

Since when do hard-ass black California gangsters drive Dodge Rams with deer lights?  Oh, wait, the getaway Escalade is right behind the Ram.  My bad …

Chubby Former Prospect honks his horn, so the guys turn their bikes around and see the presumable Niners shooting up the now-disabled truck and setting it on fire.  Luckily, Jax is able to break through the windshield and save CFP from a fiery death (foreshadowing) and the rest of the guys chase the Niners off with returning gun fire and are able to save the cargo from the defunct truck.

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14 Comments

  1. 1
    missV
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    The peg leg close up was actually Greg the Peg, the Nomad member they just voted in.

  2. 2
    missV
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    BTW, SO excited that this is being recappd!

  3. 3
    plockeness monster plockeness monster
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    OMG! I haven’t watched the season premiere, but I am soooooooooo glad someone at the ‘Gasm is recapping it. YAY AP!

  4. 4
    Leslie
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    So happy you are recapping SOA especially since I missed the first half hour watching Dance Moms. Pretty sure Abby and the moms could kick SAMCRO’s asses in a fight.

  5. 5
    Nikki
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    At the end with the home invasion it’s implied that the nomads are responsible. The peg leg was one of the nomads that was inducted into the club earlier. Very interesting twist mr. Sutter. So glad as well someone is recapping this show as I love it so very much. The scene with Tig broke my heart and he said in interviews it was difficult to shoot and it weighed heavy on him.

  6. 6
    poochie129
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Isn’t the middle-age chola Jimmy Smits wife in real life?

  7. 7
    ApplePie
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    @poochie, you’re right! She’s Jimmy Smits’ old lady. Awkward! Thanks, @Nikki … I knew I was missing something. Guess that’s why Greg is “The Peg”.

  8. 8
    Lauren
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Great recap. I’m so excited this show is finally being recapped on this site. I only wish you could recap the earlier seasons, so much great stuff happened. I’m looking forward to spending the season with you VA

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    I still love this show even after I realized it is just a soap opera about a motorcycle gang. Didn’t like the baby kidnapping and off to Ireland. I must say Katey Segal looks fantastic. Bummed I can’t read the recaps as I need to catch up on season 4.

  10. 10
    carol
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    Great recap, so happy it is being recapped this season. And it is being done with someone who likes the show but knows the perfect times to add some snark. The title of this recap is great, and it was what I was totally saying out loud while watching, that and a bit of ‘what the f***’.

    Is Jimmy Smit’s part of a gang? Or is he just a pimp?

    I really like how this show is actually filmed in California. It is supposed to be in the central valley, I think towards Chico somewhere. It actually has the feel and look of CA, the dry hills, etc. Aren’t the Niners from Oakland? I know those scenes are probably filmed in Long Beach, but they really do look like Oakland.

  11. 11
    andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted September 12, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    What…huh….what….Holy shitballs is right!

    I am so glad this show is being recapped here and I am even more glad to see it back. Every episode stresses me out so much and I’m not even living it, I can’t imagine keeping track of all of those deals and double deals and death threats and family crap in real time in real life. I’m exhausted just watching it.

    Loving Jimmy Smits, he is my secret crush. And my personal favorite scene was Tara turning off the baby monitor while she smoked weed – yeah Tara, Gemma is totally unfit to care for your kids.

    Tig’s daughter’s death, especially knowing how much of a sucker he was for her her whole life, was breathtakingly gruesome and heartrending.

    Yay! They’re baaaaaack!

  12. 12
    Closet Fan
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Great recap, love SOA! I have never missed an episode.

  13. 13
    andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    And as horrifying and gruesome as Dawn’s murder was, it wasn’t even the most horrible murder we’ve seen on this show. The most heart-rending, but not the most horrible.

    I am trying to determine what is really up with Tara. She is obviously very bitter about her hand and what her association with SAMCRO has cost her personally. She loves Jax but… she’s very bitter. She’s become much harder and more cynical. She’s smoking weed and ignoring her baby’s cries and has to keep a gun on hand at all times for protection (with a toddler at hand no less, how do you manage that, getting high with a gun by your side and a toddler in the house? That can’t be good.). Is this a phase she is passing through and she’ll come out okay – well, relatively – and be more like the old Tara again? Is she becoming Gemma 2.0 but with perhaps less maternal instincts (turning off the baby monitor to get high doesn’t seem like something Gemma would have done and Gemma was pretty hostile to Abel’s drug using mother first season, but we’ll never know what younger Gemma really did as a mom I guess. She’s awfully defensive, perhaps she failed in some ways and is making up for it by being super grandma now, who knows?) Or has Tara just been broken? I love her storyline so far, the progression. And I’m glad she was injured and has a baby now, it completely transforms her identity in ways she may not have wanted it transformed and throws her into turmoil. I want to know which Tara comes out on the other side.

  14. 14
    Closet Fan
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    I think we will see Tara going closer to the dark side for much of this season.

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