Many of you may not realize it, but South Park has just started its ninth season. NINTH! If you would have told me, as a fresh-faced high school junior in 1997, that I would be writing about South Park nine years later as a wrinkled, pasty, meth-addicted cubicle-whore, I never would have believed you. But here I am! Time flies when you’re losing your teeth, doesn’t it?
I made sure to catch the premiere of South Park’s ninth season this Wednesday, in an episode entitled “Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina.” In it, Mr. Garrison gets a vagina, Kyle gets a “negroplasty” in order to be on his school’s basketball team, and his father fulfills his lifelong dream of being a dolphin by being turned into a strange human/porpoise hybrid — oh, and exploding testicle knees. The episode was everything you’ve come to expect: offensive, gruesome, cringe-inducing and riotously funny.It’s good to see that South Park is still keeping the show fresh, topical and hilarious, unlike another cartoon franchise that rhymes with “Tha Sympsons” on Fox. Where South Park still has sharp story lines and clever cultural commentary, The Simpsons has turned into a veritable “Saved By the Bell: The College Years”, tossing aside any sort of “plot” for a series of pretty lame sight gags and prat falls. Get those Harvard alums some Adderol stat — The Simpsons either needs a major revamp or needs to be cancelled. There, I’ve said it. Cancel The Simpsons.
Point being: Watch South Park. It delivers the goods.