Is it over?
Greetings, good Gasmii people of the world! We are here with news… The world will not end today, it ended Wednesday night…Start-ups in the SV has ended, let us all rejoice.
Please understand that we LOVE reality TV. We LOVE Bravo TV. So, of course, we were very excited to recap a new reality show on Bravo. What could go wrong? Well, we forgot about how Bravo believes any douchebag can be relevant if they have a camera shoved in their face. Not everyone on the planet needs a camera following them around, just saying.
We decided to go ahead and recap both episodes today. In case the Mayans were right, we wanted you to be all caught up- don’t you feel special?
We have spent 7 and a half weeks watching people who were ill-mannered at best and tedious at worst.
And speaking of tedious, the first episode begins with Kim telling us again how great her decisions have been, how brave she is for quitting her job and how smart and successful she is… She must have been an awesome cheerleader, she sure buoys her own spirits!
You’re awesome! You’re awesome! Quit your job, you’re so awesome!
Meanwhile, Big Gay Al pays a visit to SarOprah and pretends to love her dog. Really people, your pets and children are never as cute to other people so stop forcing these fake moments that aren’t fooling anyone.
They talk about the drama with Herman and Snots and the stalker. Blah, blah, blah. You’re an idiot. Blah, blah, blah.
Even the dog is sick of all the BS
Uh, oh. The dramatic music has started, something big and bad is about to happen. Big Gay Al puts all his therapy to good use; his concerned face on and he is encouraging her to share.
SarOprah has found a lump in her breast. We want to feel bad for her but the music is so distracting. Was there a clearance sale on the music from All My Children?
Big Gay Al wants to know if someone is going with her to LA for the doctor visit. Now, as we have said people, we know our reality TV. There is not a housewife on the air who would be allowed to go to a doctor visit without another cast member, so we understood the look of disappointment on BGA’s face when she said her sister is going with her. Or maybe he was just disappointed that her big reveal was health related and nothing more juicy.
We’re disappointed that SarOprah isn’t blaming Herms for the lump.
Kim has another boring meeting where she pretends to listen with that creepy lean in thing she does. Do the Zuckerberg’s get paid every time they say Facebook?