Silicon Valley: Start-ups Recap: Dildogate

Howdy Gasmii, you know, just when you get into a routine, Bravo goes and changes things all up! WTF COHEN?! Tuesdays?! Ugh, at least this borefest is on an hour earlier now. Sigh. Whatever. On a more exciting note, Jane (a flight attendant) had Reese Witherspoon on a flight this past week AND was totally surprised that SHE WAS SUPER NICE!!!!! Just thought we’d share:) On to the show….

We start the show with Herms stretching in bed then going to the bathroom, not to pee, but to check herself out in the mirror. Cuz, as we were told last week on the podcast, THIS IS NOT SCRIPTED! Ummhmmm ok. We will not question it any longer, well until our 2nd glass of wine/champagne then it’s totes on. Herms goes downstairs with her computer to sit outside of “The Villa” and Snots ruins the perfect morning. It’s the morning after, only we WISH we had a pill for this shit. We hear the parent trap story again. SO let’s recap. BGA has his fat story, Kim has her quitting story, and Herms and Snots have their parent trap story. Got it?! Let’s move on please. 

Herms has a b-day party cumming, you’ll get it in a minute,  so the boys (Big Gay Al, Not Gay Jay, and Way Gay Marcus) enter the Good Vibrations sex shop to buy their bestie a vibrator. Note to the boys, WE ALL HAVE A VIBRATOR. This is not a real gift. A real gift is wine or a gift card to DSW. Not Gay Jay is acting way tooooooooo innocent to be in this store. Really Straight boy?! Toys are fun! When’s the last time you got laid? We know it wasn’t with Herms, and your hand doesn’t count.

Kim is awake wearing the same bell bottom jeans (thanks surrealGirl). Question? How the fuck are we supposed to take her fashion app seriously when she wears the same outfit continuously? Kim let’s us know she’s home working. WHAT?! Kim quit? When did this happen? We are totally confused. Oh never fear, her co-worker is there so it’s like she never left.2 guys then show up 1 named Mike and the other named Gabor. We like Gabor. Not because he’s a good person just because his name is fun to say. Gabor…. you think his mom was team Eva or team Zsa Zsa. Which team are you?  As sisters we are torn. Blanche likes Zsa Zsa cuz she bitch slapped a cop, Jane (me) likes team Eva cuz she slept with Frank Sinatra. Sibling rivalry folks, it never ends. Kim says she has the perfect trifecta to help her start-up. She listens for a second then off-screen she criticizes everything they say. Kim know best ya’ll. She throws around a few names for her app AND hates that her trifecta isn’t on board. Kim informs us that she was a gymnast growing up and her favorite move was the Shushnova. All she did was walk on the beam as a kid. Now as an adult the beam is stuck up her ass.