Silicon Valley: Start-ups Recap: Dildogate

Dwight somewhere is DYING!

BGA is meeting with his sponsors for goal sponsors. He’s out of his hoodie so we know it’s cereal. He explains his app to them and they draw squares on a big dry erase board. We feel his idea has potential. Why he doesn’t combine forces with Herms and Snots is mystifying to us, but again we are poor Texans that know nothing about the SV.

It’s Sar-Oprah. She’s preparing for her “date” with Snots. She calls Herms for the down low. Really? Cuz ALL great ideas start from calling your date’s sister to get info. Herms tells Sar-Oprah not to throw water on him . HA HA HA! Sar-Oprah pretends she has no clue what she’s talking about. Then informs Herms that this isn’t a date, they are just friends. Oh Ok. She’s doing her best Not Gay Jay impression. 

Sar-Oprah goes downstairs to meet Snots. She doesn’t let him up because she’s a lady and is all klass. Snots car is… WTF is Snots car?! He’s on the wrong side. Ugh we won the war bitch. Put the wheel on the other side. 

 Extension of?… Over compensating?… 

Snots opens the car door, revs the engine and speeds out the driveway. Poor Sar-oprah. She spent all that time on her hair only to be gifted with a convertible. Snots takes her to a fair. We agree a fair is a good date. Although, when your date is looking for a foot long hotdog? Hmm Signs, Signs, everywhere are signs. Snots wants to make sure Sar-Oprah has made peace with Herms. Of course Sar-Oprah says they have. In her world everyone loves her. Translation for Snots “you’re free to put it in.”

Dwight goes home for dinner. We learn his parents live only 20 minutes away yet doesn’t go home for free meals?  YOU’RE BROKE! Ride the free meal train as along as you can! You took a free meal from Kim and got nothing. Same thing applies here. Yet, when your father sees your hand scab, he informs you lube goes a long way. Gross and Yuck. Parents and masturbation don’t belong at the dinner table or the same sentence. Yet either does math so we didn’t understand majority of their conversation. 

I tried to make a Jesus app. 

Back on the date. Snots gets a cowboy hat. Come on man! Even we know that’s a girl’s cowboy hat. Snots rides a bull and has gay hand. 

Does this scream sleep with me?

Sar-Oprah then gets a chance to ride the bull. No not Snots, the mechanical bull. She is embarrassed  because she’s in a dress and doesn’t want the “world to see her business.” For F’s sake. You life Cast a date from the bathroom, yet you can’t put your vageane on-screen?! Oprah would.