Silicon Valley: Start-ups Recap: Dildogate

Commercial Blurb. Kim is showing the viewers the best and upcoming things in fashion. It’s a dress with a heart monitor that lights up. ET didn’t even like this dress. Neil Diamond is regretting his song “turn on your heart light” now. The dress would even make Glow Worm squirm. You get our point.

Dwight with Carsabi. He wants it cleaner and prettier. We do too Dwight, We do too. Please be talking about your apartment. He describes his relationship with the 1/2 Asian as beautiful. Ok. Then they talk about renting a space with someone to make it more legit. We thinks Kim will go halfsives with him. But she may just lead him on. 

Birthday Party time. It bothers us that every time someone says a happy birthday to Herms she repeats a happy birthday to them. Blanche wants to know if it’s a British thing, I (Jane) think it’s just a drunk thing. Herms describes growing up poor. Who knew, as a child, your bday party was poor? Birthdays at McDonald’s were THE SHIT! I guess the Hamburglar and a  pedophile Clown were way too expensive for the Brits. 

We see they have a guitarist, a Hula Hooper, but a REALLY shitty cake! Ugh ditch the rest and put the money in a cake yo. The buzz at the party is the big date between Snots and Sar-Oprah though. Sar-Oprah says it went great. Kim thinks it’s awkward. Unless it’s talking about her quitting her job, she’s not interested. 

Please don’t reproduce. 

 Herms tries to corner Snots and warn him off, but when a boy is thinking with his little ben NO sane woman can intervene.

YAY! Gift time!!!! BGA is giddy to give Herms her gag gift! Not Gay Jay is still Horrified! 

HA! You call that a DICK?!

Herms thinks it’s HILARIOUS and starts chasing Way gay Marcus around the backyard.

 Run! Way Gay Marcus! Run!

Snots decides everyone is having way too much fun and kills their (and our) buzz. “You just cost us $500,000″ Oh Snots. You’re the one who invited the investors to a PERSONAL BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!!!! If you don’t anticipate drunk shenanigans to go down then shame on you. BGA feels horrible! He is a dildo-stigator. Poor BGA, all he wanted was for Herms to get a few laughs.

OOOPSIES! 

Herms wants to discuss Snot’s accusation further, but leave it to Snots to deny what he just said. Herms says “she will not change her behavior for anyone.” Right on! We won’t change being assholes either Herms. Unless there is potential money involved. OHHHHHHHHHHH WAIT. Guess we will totally conform then. 

Next week, we see if they really lose the money,Snots and Sar-Oprah have their first fight, AND a bystander  GASPS!