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Monday, October 17, 2005
11:25 am
61 Comments
Now that Survivor is in its fourth week, I think I have almost come to terms with the idea of these people running around and decimating historical landmarks that have managed to survive for centuries. This is not like Palau where the majority of manmade structures were the remains of the battles between the allies and the Japanese empire in the second World War. I’m not saying that particular moment in history is somehow less important than the Mayan culture surrounding us in Survivor: Guatemala, but it is a history that, relatively speaking, has been quite well-documented and even then, the producers didn’t place a camp right int the middle of the ruins of Japanese or American bombers. But I won’t complain about that too much more, because the actual game is quite good. It is often cliché to talk about contestants and how they should outwit, outplay, and outlast the other people in the game, when we really like it when people betray, backstab, and bitchslap. Luckily for us, this round of survivors seem to be good at both aspects.The teams were reshuffled for no reason, which turned out to be a pretty good reason after all. For Nakum, Judd had already switched allegiances, and with his team reeling from a string of losses, it didn’t look good for any of them. Tribal council is not good for plenty of reasons. Among other things, it depresses morale and there is always a chance that it will damage team unity. At Nakum, it seemed to be doing both.
Stephenie is a great player in Survivor, and even though it is a game, you have to wonder what kind of toll all of this losing is having on her psyche. This girl is a black widow when it comes to survivor competitions; she seems like a good player one minute, but having her around is eventually going to spell doom for your chances, even though she may not be affected herself for a long time. A lot of people have been caught in Stephenie’s web, and the latest seems to be Judd.
It was quite obvious that he defected, and although he had numbers, he was compelled to defend his decision before Margaret. Judd went with the standard line that it’s a difficult game, and that everybody is there to play the game, and of course nobody should take it personally. But on top of that, Judd asserted that he doesn’t give a flying rat’s ass what people think about him and as long as his wife and daughter and family love him, that is all that matters. Now, this is a decent enough rationale, but you would like to think that if he was going to start his backstabbing and switch sides, he would have at least had a little better sense of timing. I called Judd stupid last week, and perhaps I was being too harsh; I see that if nothing else, he has plenty of fans. I just don’t think Judd’s move was strategic as much as it was personal, especially at this stage. He let his personal conflict with Margaret rule his thinking. We have no clue when there will be a merge, but the better move would have been to create an alliance of all strong players within Nakum, and I would count that as Stephenie, Jamie, Judd, and Margaret. That may never have a chance of happening, but if it came time to merge, I think it would work.
As you might imagine, things were a lot more easy-going at the Yaxha camp. Instead of discussing how the vote was breaking everybody apart, we got a chance to celebrate the differences among the members. Yaxha, as it is currently comprised, is composed of a hick contingent and a non-hick contingent. Representing the non-hicks would be Brian and Amy, who I like to think of as the Urban Twila, and yes, I wish she had brought her urban sombrero along as well. The hicks are composed of everybody else including Brandon, Bobby Jon, and Danni. For the purposes of this exercise, we include Gary and Blake in the hick portion given that a good portion of their history involves Texas.
Amy and Brian are learning a lot from their teammates. For instance, Amy learned the finer parts of farming. Now, I had thought that most people knew the basics of farming, like, you plant seeds, you add some water, you wait, you harvest, and then you sell what you don’t use yourself. Amy needed to be introduced to all of the basics, which makes me think about her job at the Revere, MA police station. See, Amy is a sergeant on the Major Crimes Task Force or some such. I am sure she does her job well, but if she is so disconnected with nature that she doesn’t know what you use wheat for, could it make other parts of her job difficult? Imagine reading her crime scene reports. “The subject was severely beaten, seemed drained of blood, and had pale skin and was cold to the touch. I think this is the work of that vampire who has been terrorizing residents in this building for a long time.” The autopsy report would read “95-year-old male died of a pulmonary embolus suffered as the result of a blood clot forming after subject broke his hip and femur last week. This is the third death at this nursing home in the past month.”
Brian is also from New England, and he was also trying to get comfortable with his new tribe. A self-described blue stater, he had no real problem with his tribe, they just weren’t the type of people he would normally hang with. I would have to disagree, as there is plenty Brian can relate to. For instance, when Brandon talks about growing soy beans, Brian can talk about how he likes soy milk in his lattés. When Bobby Jon talks about how much he likes football, Brian can talk about how he dated a rugby player in college. When Danni talks about being on the air for sports radio, Brian could talk about his dreams of being on Broadway someday. It’s not that hard folks, you just need an open mind, and Brian has that. When the rest of his team is thanking Jesus for everything, Brian pretends that he is praying. It’s not blasphemy, it’s tolerance! Oh, and it’s strategy, because it’s sort of like walking into the parking lot at your office building and seeing everybody has a Jesus fish on the back of the cars – you play along just because it may make things easier in the long run. You can always bitch about it to your friends when you get home.
It came time for the reward challenge and after the teams arrived at the location, Jeff asked them how it was living in all of the heat with a big body of water that was off-limits due to the danger of being eaten by a crocodile. Both teams said that it was difficult, and but it wouldn’t be difficult for long. The reward would be a little something to take the edge off: margaritas, chips, guacamole, salsa, and of course, a swimming deck fitted with a protective swimming cage. To win, they would have to go through a race consisting of several stages. First, one survivor had to cut two pieces of rope with a stone; next, another survivor would cut through a log using a machete. Each of these first two legs would release two wooden paddles, which four other survivors would insert into a turnstile and turn, which would raise a wooden cart up a track. Once the car had reached the top, the six survivors who had taken part in the challenge would pile in, and the person who hadn’t done anything up to that point would use a machete to chop another rope, which would send the cart hurtling down towards the bottom of the hill. First team to the bottom would be the winner.
Is anybody else starting to get sick of Brandon’s Indiana Jones hat?
The first leg of the race pit Jamie against Brandon. When Jeff said go, they both started to get to work on the rope. Brandon wasted no time at all, and used the rock he was given as more of an ax to get through the first rope in almost no time at all. In the meantime, Jamie was working on his rope using the rock as sort of a saw to try and get through the rope. The problem was that he treated the rock like it was a plastic knife that would break if he dug too deeply. Finding his strategy worked the first time, Brandon hacked through the second rope, meaning Bobby Jon could move on to the next task. Bobby Jon did a pretty good job with the machete, not that it mattered, because Jamie was still working on his first rope!
Early on, Jeff saw that this was going to be trouble, and said that time was critical with the first station, and getting behind there could handicap the team for the rest of the legs. I was going to make fun of how Yaxha was working the turnstile, using their arms to pass the paddles around, instead of using their legs to drive them, but what would have been the point? Jamie was still going after his ropes. You would have thought that after Brandon had such good luck, one of Jamie’s teammates would have told him to try the hacking method instead of his friction method that was getting him nowhere. Yaxha literally had finished the entire challenge before Jamie was able to complete his one leg. After Yaxha had come down the hill, they celebrated their victory. Bobby Jon seemed to enjoy it a little more than the others. He was at the front of the cart with his ankles up on the air like he was about to get a cervical exam.
This might feel a little cold at first, Bobby Jon
Never one to give up, Jamie finally made his way through the rope. He tried to see if other people shared in his go-get-’em attitude, but he wasn’t finding any takers. It looked like Stephenie wanted to slap him upside the head. There is no quit in her, but if a winner has already been decided, there is no need to go on. On the way back from camp, Stephenie was despondent. She was bothered not only by the loss, but by the way the other team rubbed it in their faces each time with the loss. Bobby Jon drew a lot of Stephenie’s ire, as she said that his celebration just made him look gay, even though she admitted later that a lot of it was jealousy. If winning means that you have to have a gay celebration, then maybe I should walk around the office all day in assless chaps next time I am asking for a raise. That’s worth like, what, an extra $10,000 a year?
For the most part, everybody was being supportive of Jamie, saying that there was nothing that he could do, even though there was quite obviously something he could do because a person on the other team didn’t have any trouble at all. It’s not like Brandon was some rope-cutting prodigy who was taken away from his parents at three years old so he could defeat the East Germans and bring the international cutting rope with a rock medal back to the states. Although, come to think of it, didn’t Sylvester Stallone make a movie like that in the 80s at some point? If not, he should have, as it would have been the perfect companion to “Over the Top.” Jamie was acting like Brandon’s demonstration of rope cutting was some elaborate strategy that nobody could have come up with. It’s been over a million years since australopithecines could use tools; this is not high-level thinking. If he had been given a chance to do the machete on the last leg, he probably would have tried to start a fire and burn through the log.
At Yaxha, things were decidedly better. Their little patio had some nice furniture to lounge in by the water and an opening that was big enough to hold everybody on the team at once without anybody having to worry about death by crocodile. What their new toy didn’t protect them from was the rain. With all of those strong guys around, it didn’t look like they spent too much time shoring up their shelter, because everybody huddled underneath an umbrella in order to stay dry, well – everybody except for Blake and Brian.
It’s amazing how Blake has become a stud after looking like he was going to die those first few days. Has anybody else noticed how Blake always seems to be on the sweet end of a deal? So did all of his new tribemates, who dubbed him Golden Boy, because he always comes up smelling like roses, and he always has great stories to tell. Well, they may not have been great stories, but he did have stories, and he would tell anybody anything as long as they wanted to listen, or at least if they didn’t object. If the story made him out to look awesome, it was even better.
Blake started talking about his girlfriend and hey, you can’t fault a guy for talking about the ones he loves, right? Well, if it seems the only thing you love about your loved one is her large knockers, then people may start to get sick. Blake’s girlfriend had big tits, like DDs, but then she took the pill and they got even bigger. So now he is talking about his busty girlfriend and how her boobs are almost too big now because of the birth control, which she probably has to take because she is so in love with Blake and wants to have sex with him all the time. He sort of sensed that people were uncomfortable, and began talking about how Bobby Jon is more of a legs and ass man. Bobby Jon looked downright embarrassed, and Brandon sort of chimed in by saying he doesn’t like novelty-sized boobs. Hey, more than a handful is a waste, right?
While all of this must have been super annoying, Brian realized that he might be able to use it to his advantage. Although I included Blake in that redneck group earlier, it seemed like maybe that wasn’t such a good fit. Most of the other country folk were hard working people, but Blake was telling stories of coasting through life, getting drunk and having sex with women. It all makes him look like an idiot, and he is hoping that is enough for Bobby Jon, Brandon, or Danni to turn on Blake and vote him out.
Ahead of the immunity challenge, the tribes received treemail with a hint that the next challenge would require teamwork. This presented a big problem for Nakum, who were clearly better at fighting amongst themselves than working together to fight another team. Earlier, Stephenie broke down a little bit talking about how she feels like she is in some bad dream that she can’t get out of. For some reason, the teams she have always been on have always been differently-abled, so to speak, but she can’t let it get to her in public, even though her heart was breaking inside.
In search of something to lift their spirits, Lydia decided to take control. She’s not athletic, but she does work hard, and she does have a great personality, so she starts a pep rally. Even though she is the only one singing, doing a fairly decent job ad-libbing Nakum tribe into the Mighty Mouse theme, it seems people are starting to go along. And then it happened: Lydia started doing the pancake. For the uninitiated, sometimes dance moves are described by explaining what’s going on with either your hands or legs. The lasso, for example, has you pretending to twirl a rope around a partner, and bring them home. As much as Americans hate the French and all of their stupid mimes, you would think that this disgraceful method of dancing would have been put to rest long ago. Anyway, Lydia announces that she is going to do the pancake, and proceeds to put on a little solo dancing act that would have made Napoleon Dynamite envious. At the end, Lydia pronounced herself the queen of rock and roll. Would this light moment make a difference at immunity? Only time would tell.
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more…
They may have had their spirits lifted, but Nakum was dead serious when it came time for the immunity competition. Jamie described it as being hungry for a win, and the game would be catapult and catch. The two tribes split into two teams of three people each, with a “launcher” left over. The launcher’s job was to take a coconut-sized ball and use a catapult to launch it towards their teammates. Each catch was a point, and the first to five would win. To make it harder, all teams were on the same field at once, and you could score a point by catching balls from either team.
At first, it looked like it was going to be another easy Yaxha win, but Nakum had a lot of fight in them. After getting behind early, they managed to tie the game, and then they moved ahead of Yaxha by stealing a couple of launches from Brian. Nakum eventually sealed the win and started celebrating. Jamie was particularly emphatic, screaming, “Who’s smiling now?! Who’s smiling now?!” in reference to Jeff asking why Nakum was looking so angry and Yaxha was looking so happy when they all got together at the beginning of the challenge. They lifted Lydia up in celebration. The pancake might have looked stupid to some people, but maybe, just maybe, it gave Nakum what they needed to win. Maybe Judd wasn’t so stupid for getting rid of Brooke after all.
Turns out that losing is tough and Yaxha wasn’t happy about their loss. Bobby Jon, who I think is a good guy, obviously suffers from the same sort of selective memory that plagues all reality contestants. He was wondering why Nakum had to rub it in, saying that there was a right way to win and a right way to lose. I don’t think Bobby Jon is very gracious in either situation, so I am not sure what the lecture was about. Best comeback ever? Brandon said, “Why don’t you cut a rope?” describing Jamie’s celebration. Actually, it was only a best comeback ever in theory because Brandon never actually used it to Jamie’s face, saving it for when Yaxha had returned to their camp.
A bigger concern at the Yaxha camp was the upcoming tribal council, or at least it was concern for the three members of the original Yaxha tribe, Gary, Brian, and Amy, because they were outnumbered by the people from the old Nakum tribe. Therefore, they were going to have to do a lot of work to save themselves. Brian had started it earlier in the episode, telling us about his “Bait Blake” strategy. The goal was to get Blake to talk about himself, which wasn’t hard because Blake was very good at talking about himself, whether it be his girlfriend with the huge boobs, his drunken escapades in college, or all the older women he banged just for the hell of it. While Brian got Blake to talk, Gary started working on Bobby Jon, Brandon, and Danni.
Bobby Jon had a loose alliance with Blake, but he really respects Gary and was listening to him as they were talking about how they didn’t want to see somebody as undeserving as Blake win it all. He knew that there was going to be a time when he would have to switch his alliances, but he didn’t think that the time was right for such a move, and I would tend to agree with him. Gary, Amy, and Brian were also saying that there was no alliance among them (besides this alliance to get Blake out), and a lot of it started to make sense to Danni. Danni discussed it with Brandon, and while he didn’t think Blake deserved it, he wasn’t going to vote Blake off because he still felt loyalty to him, and he knew that it was better to keep the numbers in his favor.
I think by now it is no secret that Jeff or the producers sometimes have a little bit of an agenda to get across when it comes to tribal council, and it seemed quite obvious that they were trying to stir up some sentiment about Blake. First, Jeff made it a point to ask about the rain, and how Blake managed to get some sleep and was kind of oblivious to what was going on with the rest of his teammates. Then he asked about the Golden Boy moniker he received from Amy, and made it a point of asking how he could go from gasping for breath, holding his chest, and now he is the Golden Boy. Perhaps the most critical questions Jeff asked where to Amy and Brian about the tribe. When asked how the tribe was coming together, Amy said that they were one tribe. Brian played the victim card, saying that if the game plan was to vote him out simply because he wasn’t part of their group to begin with, he is the victim of a minority. I like to think of it as the vast redneck conspiracy.
The voting started, and we were assured that it would be close. CBS loves it when the two nominees have names that begin with the same letter. That way, they can show people writing the first letter and you still has suspense about the final vote. The only thing that must be more fun for the producers is getting all of those shots of the ants each season. They LOVE it when ants are carrying things up or down a tree, and I can assure you will be seeing more ants, especially since there are no hermit crabs for any filler.
When the votes came in, I was quite surprised to see that Blake was voted out. CBS was being so obviously anti-Blake that I though it was some misdirection to add suspense. It looks like Danni decided to change allegiances, at least for one day. Jeff ended the program by saying the game went through a major shift, and he really is the master of the obvious. Each new tribe now has been altered, if ever so slightly. I would say that Danni put herself in a good position. She wasn’t going to be any more than fourth place with the guys on her team, and she can decide to go either way at the next tribal council. Judd is probably firmer in his new alliance and is not in such a swing position, but it might work out for the better for him as well. As for Blake, he was OK. A good competitor, but only average for television, I think the all of the other people in Yaxha are going to be much more interesting to have around in the long run, but I hope Gary goes next.
What did you think of the Golden Boy? Do you think Nakum is in a better position to win challenges now? Are the two tribes coming together now that they have been switched up?
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61 Comments
A recap well worth the wait. Does anyone else notice that Danni is disgustingly skinny? When she was sitting on the swimming patio thing I thought I was going to throw up, the girl is the definition of anorexia!
Brian isn’t gay. (I know, I know) When Blake was on the Early Show on Friday morning, he said that he and everyone else out there thought he was, but he’s not.
I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Blake’s girlfriend in the Febreze Family Moment, but alas it was not meant to happen….
I mean how much bigger can Double D’s get?
First – Steph’s comment about Bobby John acting “gay” was a MAJOR FUBAR on her part…I know MANY people will not like to hear it form her…myself included.
Second – I LOVE BRIAN. He played that Tribal Council like a fiddle cusotm made for him.
Lastly – Am I the only one that hoped Bobby John was going to fall off that cart and mangle his “gizzards” while he had his legs up in the air????
Ash, I totally agree about Danni being horribly skinny. Yes, she’s “ripped”, but I have a hard time looking at her. Is she a runner? I have seen people crossing the finish line of marathons on TV with similar physiques. Steph’s fit and in great shape – Danni looks like she was just liberated from Dachau. That said, she could probably still kick my ass! My hubby noticed me saying catty things about her the first couple of episodes and he questioned if I was just saying those things because she was so skinny. Of course I acted really offended that he would suggest that, but I think he called it right, which doesn’t reveal the nicest thing about me… She seems like she’s a smart player and a likable and decent human (at least she’s edited that way). I really shouldn’t be mean, but she is sooooo painful to look at.
Loved Brandon’s use of the phrase “Novelty-sized boobs”. Have never heard them referred to that way, but have ceratinly seen some that qualify! Really, novelty-sized boobs are as unattractive as extreme dieting for athletic purposes. Aren’t they, guys?
Lydia is good for the heart. I like her spirit. And if she’s not athletic, she’s certainly acquainted with weights – have you paid attention to her arms?!! She’s buff!!
Great re-cap!!! ‘ Jeff is the master of the obvious!!!’ I love his calling in the competitions too, That’s one point for . . . , they now lead one zip. And he uses fingers in case we were having difficulty counting to five. I also love the way he grabs the immunity trophy back, as if the contestant running with it would mean they would be safe . . . is it me . . . !?
Ash, I couldn’t agree more, though Danni is an athletic thin, it’s still so so thin–did she crash diet before she went to starve!!!! She looked built on the website.
If Brian isn’t gay, he might as well be, though I do know a lot of straight girls love their gay friends and wish they were straight, so I say, go girls–he’s all yours!!!
I’ll take that big hugger of a bear, (or should I say, King of the jungle!?) Judd–he even kissed Jamie, and I bet he liked it too–I would’ve! Maybe his identical twin is available–never know.
Whatever it is . . . I missed the Ripley fight, as cable fuzzed out on me, so maybe if I heard him yelling how he doesn’t care about anyone except his family, I might feel differently, but hey, I don’t believe him!!!! He loves Jamie!!!! He felt a connection right away!!!!
And Steph, enjoy your historic revisit–didn’t you learn after last time, that this is not the be-all and end all for life!!!! Jeeesh!!! I’m having a bad dream about being the #1 most popular contestant ever, and being allowed to return for another chance, and having the producers (in my oppinion anyway) helping to sway things in your favor a bit!!! What a bad dream, how will I sleep! I’m also sorry she used gay as an adjective, but let’s face it, did you see BJ’s legs up!!!! Looked kinda gay to me–and I outta know! ; )
I took Stephanie’s comment about Bobby Jon to mean he’s “lame” or phoney. As a lot of people say example:”That whole episode was so gay.” Not against gays as you would think. But just a slang term.
I know Steph was using “gay” as an adjective, but that does not make it any better. In fact, it shows her ignorance and immaturity. She really made herself look bad this episode. I am so tired of her whining!!!! She has gotten two chances at being on Survivor when most people never even get close. Cowboy up and get over it!
I love Brian too! He is too funny and a great schemer. Lydia is my favorite–she has spunk.
I thought the reward challenge was fixed. Brandon obviously had a sharper rock. The producers love to see Stephenie lose so she can cry and wail about how unfair her luck is. Boo-hoo-hoo.
That’s funny, Happy girl, here I am thinking they want her to win–what a fool I’ve been! LOL!!!
I try not to take comments like her use of “gay” too personally, I do get it as slang, but I would have avoided it if I was her. I should check her popularity rating and see if it’s dipped.
Jamie, I’m thinking, showed a real immature side with his shouting!!! Can’t wait to see the “cat-fight” next week!
Okay- and I can say this as a gay chick- Bobby Jon was acting totally “gay”- Stephenie called it at about the exact moment I was thinking it. On top of flailing his legs all around, the bright green tank top, and the way he holds his hand to his face in shock – did anyone else notice the half poof hairdo that Bobby Jon was working at the beginning of the episode?? Oh man…On top of his recent girlyness- he screams for no reason, and makes insane faces. What the hell is wrong with Bobby Jon??? Is there not some sort of psych evaluation that potential Survivors must submit to before being cast TWICE???!! I mean, of course there is no true way to scan for dumb people but….
was I the only one who noticed that in the interview segment of Blake sitting by the water at sunrise and talking, he totally looked like Stephenie? The same scary-arched eyebrows!!
The gay thing bothered me too. I realize it was meant to mean “stupid” but that’s the problem — where else would that come from except by using being gay as an insult? But she was right, Bobby Jon DOES scream like a little girl. I can’t wait for next week’s shrieking match by the giant boulder! it looks like it will rival the howler monkeys.
oh, and people WERE telling Jamie to chop at the rope instead of sawing. they just weren’t being very specific, like saying, Turn around and look at Brandon and copy him!!!
Great re-cap, as always. I was kind of incredulous when Yaxha was passing that wagon wheel thing hand to hand instead of getting in between the spokes and powering it with the LARGEST muscle group in the body. Clearly they could have powered that thing with their pinkies and won hands down though.
Anyone else think Steph might be gone any time soon? As much as I used to like her and as great a player as she is, the whining is getting pretty annoying.
Brian isn’t gay? Does he know that? How many straight guys would wear their buff the way he wears it? I keep waiting for him to ornament it with some native fruits and sing the Chiquita banana song.
oh, and that whole “novelty-size” boobs thing really bothered me. Get over yourselves guys!
Steph=Linda Evangelista=An emu. I’m sad there was no “I never played in the NFL” to rip on this week. I happen to enjoy the use of the word gay as an adjective. Not in a nasty way, but in a dorky, silly, or flamey way. My homosexual friends don’t seem to care and also use it that way. Historically the word means really happy. It’s kinda cheesy even. At any rate… Danorexia’s hat was so flippin’ gay! At first it looked like a badly tye-dyed clown hat. You know those teeny tiny ones that they stick on top of their heads, maybe with a limp little flower hanging out? Then it somehow transformed into an ugly football-cowboy hat. But hey, whatever. You gotta protect yourself in 120 degree weather, and if a gay hat is what you’ve got, good for you.
Brian indeed played Blake like a fiddle. That was great. And so easy for him too. Blake “I never met a mirror I didn’t like” Golden Boy ate it up!
I think all of the contestants end up looking skeletal don’t they? It’s a lack of calories thing I would imagine.
One more thing. I adore Lydia. I always thought that move was the Cabbage Patch, no? I dance like Elaine Benes, so what do I know.
j-unit, methinks you took it a little easy on steph. she used to be one of my favorites, but lately i f***’n hate her. i loved her jocked-up jersey-girl attitude and hardcore competitiveness in the ‘pulau’ season, and to her credit, she was stuck back then on a tribe full of misfits and milquetoasts. but this time around, steph has nothing to complain about. you’d think she’d at least show a little consciousness of the fact that she has been given a second chance-of-a-lifetime to win a million bucks and/or extend the half-life of her reality-tv fame, or that she’d be a little grateful that her team didn’t decide to gang up and boot her first for being too competitive and too lucky, or that she’d look on the bright side of a suspiciously well-timed tribe swap into a new team with two brawny meat-heads to do her bidding and a controlling majority, or that maybe–just maybe–given her 4-21 record, it isn’t always everyone else’s fault when her team loses challenges. but instead, steph whines, passes the buck, and disses her former teammate while simultaneously alienating the PC audience. bad, bad girl, steph. you’re breakin’ my heart.
as for yaxha, while i’m glad that brian survived, since so far he’s giving the best sound-byte (the ‘bait blake’ story-line and his comments about thanking jesus for the food made the whole episode for me), but booting blake was a questionable move. yeah, danni might have a stronger position with amy and gary than with the country boys, but at this stage of the game, the most important thing is to get to the merge with a majority, and blake is money in the challenges. why boot the stud-boy jock and keep the middle-aged lady with the gimp ankle? blake would also have been a big target going into the merge, what with his apparent laziness, ego, spoiled-rich-kid status, and athleticism. fare thee well, blake–we’ll miss your tales of MILFs and ‘double Ds’ and ‘dude, i was so wasted’ frat-boy stories. they beat the hell out of listening to bobby jon talking about what’s made with wheat.
I have some terrible news to share. Jenn Lyon from Palau has stage 3 breast cancer.
Jack, I couldn’t agree more about Steph–even if she did admitt to being jealous. I’m not sure of the Blake move, but I was glad they were getting over the past tribes and trying to think as one, more or less, and however it happened, I’m so glad to see frat boy perfect teeth gooooooooo!!!!! Yay!!! I’ve wanted him and BJ to go since the eyes in the back of the head episode, oh yeah, that was week 1–imagine!?
Sorry to hear the news about Jenn. I’m wishing her the best.
See, this is why I would never last on a game like Survivor. I would get fed up of Blake’s bragging or Steph’s whining and I would tell them to shut the f*ck up and then be voted off as a result.
And the ants are totally this year’s crabs!
“What about Golden Boy?”
“Didn’t make it.”
We now have a new name for Bobby Jon, however: Baby Blue.
P.S. If you don’t get this post, you obviously aren’t a fan of Seinfeld.
Agreed that Steph’s non-stop whining is awful. It’s kinda refreshing to see that there are as yet no clear alliances, and that people aren’t just automatically voting off members from the other tribe. Brian’s tribal council speech was succinct and compelling, and he worked the Blake thing magnicently. Good for him. I really don’t think losing Blake is going to make that much of a difference for the challenges. They still got expert rope-hacker Brandon, and beefy meathead Bobby Jon.
(But more importantly, when do we get a chance to rehash Toral’s epic performance on last week’s Apprentice.)
While everyone here takes offense at Steph’s gay comment, it’s nice to know that no one was bothered with J-Unit’s derogatory use of the words “hick” and “redneck”. I guess no one from the south has computers, so you don’t have to be concerned about it. And to label Blake and Gary as hicks just because they’ve got Texas roots… nice. But what am I saying? J-Unit’s obviously such an expert farmer, what with his intricate knowledge of planting seeds and watching them grow and all, I guess he’s just a good ole boy himself.
If some people had bothered to watch the episode, the might have heard Brandon use the term “hick” and “redneck” himself. As for not knowing anything about me or where I grew up, that is quite obvious from the rest of your statement.
-J “I have relatives in West Virginia(and Iowa, and Texas, and Missouri, and the Carolinas and, well you get the point) and I love them too” Unit
Ah, yes, you got me. Sorry, I didn’t remember that Brandon had said that. It’s ok then. I guess all us Southerners enjoy being called hicks and rednecks, you know, since Brandon said it and all.
-J “didn’t realize one could make broad, across the board statements about a group of people based on what a contestant on a reality show said” King
You tell ‘em, J!
Look, Dude, I’m not trying to get crap started here or anything. I just wanted it known that I did take offense when I read the “hick vs. non-hick” comment. Yeah, you’re from Virginia or whatever and that’s great, and yeah, Steph shouldn’t have made the gay comment about Bobby Jon, but the fact is that everyone has grown up in their own situation and had to deal with their own prejudices, and one of mine is that people seem to look down on me because they hear my southern accent. I, like Brandon, don’t think that being from the South is a bad thing, but I also, probably like Brandon, have had people judge me based on what my voice sounds like. And after 30 years of it, it gets old and tired and seeing the word hick or redneck can sound as bad to someone like me as hearing the word gay can sound to someone that’s homosexual, especially when it comes off in a derogatory manner.
Sorry for the misunderstanding. It’s your website and you can do what you want. I will leave now.
Unit, that is…..
oh, for pete’s sake, lighten up.
and, for the record, while there are several board posts here dissing steph for her PC faux pas, if you check the re-cap, j-unit elects not to bash steph, but, rather, to muse on the virtues of assless chaps.
the best thing about TVgasm is that it’s all about the snark–no one is spared. if your skin’s too thin for a little off-color humor, go elsewhere, i say.
Who is this Pete everyone is always talking about, and why do we all try to do things for his benefit?
Brian not gay? Come on! Hes a flamer.
Lydias little monkey dance was hilarious. She reminds me more and more of those Troll Dolls each week. I heart Lydia.
Here, here, Jack!
So Brian doesn’t know he’s gay… that’s interesting.
i never take offense with what the writers say. their job is to make fun of these hilariously stupid shows and let’s face it, if you’re putting yourself on a reality show, you deserve to be made fun of. but i think it’s okay to take offense at what reality whores say. I take offense every time Omarosa opens her mouth.
whatever. i’m kicking myself that I even talked about stephenie and her comment.
moving on…
I thin that Danni made a good move by switching alliances and voting Blake out. If she makes it to the merge with the “non-athletes”, she’ll have a much better chance in the individual immunity challenges. Plus- she’s still in good shape now in tribal council.
Go LYDIA! She makes a great mascot…
The post that has my vote for funniest snark all year so far:
“And the ants are totally this year’s crabs!” #19
(it just sounds like an STD commercial to me)
I can’t believe nobody has said anything about the 2nd best line of the episode (after why don’t you go cut a rope?) At Tribal Council when Brian voted for Blake and said “You may be the golden boy, but I’m platinum.” Classic.
Is it just me, or do the guys seems a little unbalanced? Including my beloved Bobby Jon. I am really starting to hate Stephenie.
As well as Steph’s rather immature use of the word “gay” (which is really only vaguely acceptable if you’re aged under 6 and don’t know about the other meaning of gay yet), it was her insult of Bobby John “acting like a girl” that seemed the most sad.
She’s a girl herself so it seemed like a big own goal. She’s always been my favourite contestant, but after that episode I wanted to whack her round the head with my copy of the Bumper Collected Feminist Writings 1900-2000.
Didn’t anyone watch the vote reveal at the end of the show? Bobby Jon voted Blake out too. Looks like he changed his mind on sticking with Blake for a while longer. He and Danni both voted against Blake.
Rick D.
Brian’s not gay? My favorite moment of the night came when city-girl Amy was freaking out about a flying beetle. She lumbered around camp running in great strides bellowing “I didn’t know beetles could fly!â€? Brian quickly piped in with “they’re MAGICAL beetles here!â€? Nuf said.
I’m gay AND from the south and I didn’t find any of these terms offensive or particularly derogatory. People should lighten up.
Great recap, j-unit. I somehow missed that image of bobby jon preparing for his pap smear, but I think you for immortalizing it forever.
Now, on the subject of Brian – the boy is gay, and there is no way that he doesn’t know it. I suppose if Blake said in some interview that he wasn’t gay, I would have to assume that Brian just might not have told the other survivors. But please, the boy is SO gay. And I am very gay, I should know.
Steph is certainly not doing herself any favors with the whining and constantly blaming everyone else. She got to come back on Survivor for another shot, the producers moved the tribes around early in the game once her tribe started losing a lot, and she’s still acting like it’s unfair and she’s a victim. Good grief. She was so popular after the last time, but she’s really going to lose that if she keeps this up.
I dont know if anyone mentioned this, I havent had time to read all the comments…BUT… Dont you think that Blake and Stephanie could pass as siblings? those eyes, and eyebrows??
I still can’t look at Steph’s eyebrows without getting creeped out. Why would you want to look angry all the time? And the constant complaining is very annoying.
As a sidebar, jking – if you don’t like the recaps, it is very simple…don’t visit this site!
Rock On J-Unit!
)
Yea to TV-OD!!! More snarky commentary!!! More use of the words gay and retarded!!! For sanitized reviews and extended pinky chit-chat about television please see PC-TVfornambypambywussbags.com
Thanks, Liz, I just spit coffee all over my computer screen. ROTFLOL
I feel I have to defend steph even though I also am finding the whining a bit much – yes, she’s wining a lot (or they’re making her SEEM like she’s wining a lot) but she busts her ass more than half the others in competitions, she works hard at camp and she will NEVER GIVE UP! And those qualities are gold when on survivor.
But Lydia has been my favorite since week 1 (when she made the guppie pond) and has continued to make a great impression on me since!
GO LYDIA!
I noticed that too, Rick D. I’m glad they’re working more as a new tribe, and less on the old alliences, and frankly, Blake had to go! I actually like BJ more coz he voted Blake out–plus, they only had 2 Brian votes–safe to say, to build our suspense – oooo – they always make it seem as close as they can. I did find it funny that blake was so side-swiped–seems he’s got no idea how he’s coming across. I’m sure double-D’s + (after the “pill”) will give him something to talk about! ; )
We’ve been calling this one “Mumble Survivor”. I have never seen so many subtitles on an American show with American participants. Even Ivy League boy, whom you’d think would be able to enunciate a bit better. C’MON! Get the pebbles out of your mouths. You’re making me read my TV too much and that just MAKES ME MAD!
And Steph’s eyebrows? Scary. Do they ever come down? Was she in an accident or something?
As for Redneck; when did that become a Southern term? I’m in NorCal and we have PLENTY of rednecks right here; born and raised.
Although, now that I know they don’t really belong here, I’ll be sending them down ya’lls way. ;-P
Amber, I agree on the redneck point–the term is often used to mock the South, but I’ve met true redneck, hicks, and hillbillies in Pennsylvania, California, Washington state, Minnesota, etc. In fact, I’ve come across more rednecks in certain parts of PA than in many southern towns! Calling someone a redneck or hick is not necessarily a region-based insult!
Brian is a metrosexual. A friend of his posted a thread about it on Survivor Sucks.
Does anyone here know the difference between “effeminate” and “gay” or “homosexual”? Brian is obviously effeminate, but that doesn’t make him one of the others.
Stephenie’s a whine bag and her attitude needs readjusting. However, I do wish she’d been the one riding down the hill a la Bobby John.
I agree, Lydia is just so huggable! She reminds me of Dr. Ruth.
Lydia looked constipated while doing the pancake…
My theory on Steph and why she is always on the losing team– it’s not just bad luck, it’s her.
I think she has some sort of domaneering personality where she presents herself as strong competitor that her teammates look to her to carry them rather than looking within themselves to carry their own load.
She probably does subtle little things to establish herself as Alpha, but in so doing robs other people of their faith in themselves.
Just a theory, but there is no questioning the pattern, it is more than just bad luck.
Ok, I too, am sick of Stephanie. She started annoying me in the last Survivor and now she’s back and even MORE annoying. I didn’t see how that could be possible. Even more freaky is that these other women players are saying how much they look up to Stephanie. Do they still–after listening to all of her whining and griping and complaining??? (and seeing her expressions??)
You got to give it to Lydia, she’s like the Energizer Bunny. You think she’s going to stop banging that drum and she just keeps going and going and going…
And count me in as a Brian fan too. If he wasn’t on, this show would be BORING. Not a big fan of this episode of Survivor…
Are we starting a collection for Stephanie to get her eyebrows fixed? If so, I’m in…
Hey callygirl…Just color me an Ohioan Redneck with West Virginia roots, and danged proud of it! LOL
When are they going to wisen up and see that Steph is bringing them down, pulling too many strings, and not actually helping them to victory very often? And her attitude is terrible now–she knows she was vastly popular after the last season and she’s gotten a big head about it. So she whines why me and gets huffy if anyone thinks of voting her off.
I may be incorrect, but it seems to me that the most egregious whining Stephenie does takes place during confessionals, away from the rest of the tribe, and that she vents there so she can present a less pessimistic face to her tribemates. I’m suggesting that the whining might be something of which her fellow players would be less aware. Unlike, say, Judd or Jamie, who could almost be making publc bum-outs a part of what passes for their strategy.
Anyone else think Blake is a dead ringer for K-Fed (aka Mr. Britney)?
u all need to stop hating on steph. the producers force her to sit down and say what’s an her mind while they other tribe members are not listening so she can be honest. are you going to tell me yaxha lost that immunity challenge cuz of steph? are u retrded. she was the only 1 w/ a clue. everywhere she turns someone else is screwing up her chances. her East coast accent is often misconstrued as whining. she’s the greatest female athlete in the history of survivor, belive me, its not her fault. it’s also not her fault that the producers of the show edit it in the fashoin that they do.
i kelly lydia.