From The Jenna Files: A Frog In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush

Things are looking embarrassing for Survivor‘s Jennas these days. While Jenna Lewis enjoys her very own internet sex tape scandal, fellow contestant Jenna Morasca proves there are other ways to make people lose respect for you: pose nude in a pool of water and… hold a frog? Yes, this is the bizarre image forced upon us by Dissection Alternatives, a random nonprofit that lobbies against the dissection of animals in classrooms. Ms. Morasca, in a clunky bit of Photoshop rendering, appears to be lustfully rising from a lagoon – or maybe a swamp – where she has discovered a Clip Art frog and is cradling it in her hands as a gesture of ranine good will. The ad seems to be saying that you too can have an erotic journey if you dive naked into a body of water and emerge with an amphibious creature.

“We both survived,” reads the quote over this libidinous scene. So did the frog survive being randomly plucked from his riverbed home? Or maybe Jenna is returning it to its native habitat. If so, does this mean that she rescued it from a classroom, and furthermore, did she do it naked? And then why was she compelled to jump in the water with the frog? It hardly seems logical. Nevertheless, the organization encourages use of software such as Digital Frog, which simulates the inner-workings of Jenna’s little buddy. I personally endorse Frogger, a program that will most likely foreshadow the fate of all those undissected frogs.