Last time, on Survivor: The coolest episode ever. I actually watched the previouslies. That’s how awesome it was.
Tonight isn’t too bad either; we get lots of Freudian slips, a bunch of double talk, and some people getting their just desserts. Revenge! It’s tasty. Question: Can Earl and Yau-man continue to be really awesome? Can Cassandra secretly dominate without anyone even noticing? Can Dreamz continue to make no sense at all, even when he’s concentrating really hard? Can Stacy continue to suck?
Two of these are true. Guess which two! Or, you know, keep reading. Whichever is easier.
We begin on Night 27 on Bula Bula. Post-Tribal Council Night Vision! Why do I love you so much? I do not understand. Perhaps it is because everyone looks cooler if it appears that they are in the midst of a particularly arduous spelunking expedition. A fruit bat hangs upside down and watches as Alex and Mookie return from tribal council, dejected. His wings flap out “You just got served” in Morse code. Alex, to Mookie: “You see what’s happening is you and me are going to go now.” Nice deductive reasoning there, Gil Grissom. How many DNA samples did it take for you to figure that one out? Perhaps it is the fact that Yau-man and Earl smeared their faces with the blood of Edgardo before leaving tribal council. They own his soul now! Yau-man is seriously Shang Tsung, I am telling you. Mookie and Alex deduce that Dreamz screwed them, and decide that Dreamz might have been playing them all along. I somehow doubt that, given that he waffled more last week than a trucker looking for smothered hashbrowns.
Dreamz confronts Stacy and Earl about the fact that he voted for Mookie instead of Ed, and Stacy smartly tells him that they were worried about them “feeding him misinformation”. Nice cover! See how you use Dreamz to your advantage, ALEX? Dreamz decides that they did the smart thing by voting for Ed. What he should wonder but does not is this: Why wouldn’t they still tell me they were voting for Ed? The information they receive from him has nothing to do with the information they give him, if they believe him to be on their side. He does not put this together, because information to him is something that is not to be retained, but to be spread around a wide area like Herpes Simplex.
Earl gives us a confessional in which he can barely contain his glee over the Edgardo booting. He’s so happy that the plan worked out that he’s about to cabbage patch all over the island. I feel you, Earl. He talks about how it’s basically six on two at this point, so they can coast through the next couple of rounds. Stacy pulls the food card again, all “They’ll be lucky if they get fed.” Is Stacy some sort of hunter-gatherer savant? Does she often return to camp with hearty slabs of venison slung over her shoulders? Because we haven’t seen that yet, so I’m not sure she has any right to be all supply and demand about the food.
Credits! At one point, a skeleton is lit ablaze. That’s not really a good way to destroy a skeleton, right? Bones do not burn well. Maybe it’s a zombie skeleton of some sort, and they are worried about re-animation?
Commercials. I am unnecessarily excited about Pirate Master, I think. The kind of excited that is normally reserved for “Big Brother” because I simultaneously look forward to it and feel the need to shower as a result. That sort of saddens me. But in an awesome way.
Day 28 at Bula Bula. Mookie and Alex are off in the corner, whining about how they don’t want to talk to Dreamz anymore because he stole their kickball. Whatever, quit acting like babies. You both got totally faced because you thought you were the smartest people ever; get over it and come up with a new plan, already. They think he’d have the dignity to at least come over and tell them what he was planning on doing. What they do not understand is that this would require Dreamz to know what he’s doing in the first place, which is a logical jump for which I have not yet seen any evidence. It’s like, he can’t tell you anything if he doesn’t know himself, right?
Dreamz tries to come over and make nice, but they are not having it. He also decides that he’s going to deny everything, which may not be the smartest plan. They ask him why he didn’t vote for Cassandra, and he repeats the question back to them, which is a thing that liars do when they need to stall because they haven’t yet come up with an adequate lie. “Hey didn’t you steal the cookies?” “Why didn’t I steal the cookies? Well, because of ghosts, of course!” The second someone does that to me, I’m like, “Yeah, you’re done.”
Dreamz tries to tell them that they all got outwitted last night, which is true, although some more than others. Alex and Mookie correctly deduce that Dreamz must have written down either Ed’s name or Mookie’s, and they trap him into admitting it. Dreamz tells us that he wants to make friends with them because he wants their votes at the end of the game, so he “told a story” to them. And…no, unless that story involves some sort of curse cast on you by an evil witch, and that curse dooms you to always be repeating the last thing said to you, drooling all over the place like an idiot at the circus and waiting for a prince to ride in majestically on his white stallion and rescue you.
Dreamz makes the following explanation for his actions, “I knew last night that I was going to just…try to go with them. It’s not me turning on y’all. It’s just me going with them.” Oh, okay then. They’re cool with it. I see now that those two things are not at all the same! Thanks for clearing that up!
Reward Challenge! Today’s challenge has been done before. The tribe will be divided up into two teams; one member of each team will launch balls into the air and the other three members of each team will be trying to catch them on this mud covered playing field. You can catch from either launcher, you don’t have to catch from your own. The first team to five wins an overnight trip to the spa on an airplane, where they can take showers with the Product Placed Bath Wash and eat and relax. Also someone from the loser team goes to Exile Island.
The orange team is Yau-man launching for Boo, Cassandra and Mookie. The green team is Stacy launching for Alex, Earl, and Dreamz. The challenge begins, and Team Yau-man quickly breaks out into a 2-0 lead thanks to Stacy’s poor launching skills. I guess the French Press Coffee Maker skill set does not intersect well with the set for Barbarians Storming The Gate With A Slingshot. Cassandra puts Earl in a chokehold at one point, but he is sort of laughing about it. Alex takes a dive to catch one of the balls, misses, and gets a faceful of mud as a reward, which was satisfying (and also an appropriate metaphor).
Are they posing for an album cover or something?
Earl starts laughing at Cassandra over the chokehold, pointing at her and laughing like “Oh, so it’s gonna be like that, huh?” Jeff takes the opportunity to tell the castaways that they can make this as physical as they’d like. Stacy gets the hang of the launcher and the score becomes 2-1, Team Yau-man. On the next launch, Boo and Alex go head to head, and Alex kind of tries to box Boo out (which is perfectly within the rules) and Boo runs into Alex, slides kind of funny, and falls. He lays there for awhile, clearly in pain; he speculates that it might be his ACL. Jeff brings in the medical team (Motto: We take the drugs so you don’t have to!) and they take a look at Boo’s knee. They judge him able to stand. When he does, the editors insert an helpful popping sound, which you know the others heard because of the cringing, but was probably not caught during filming. Boo tries a few strafing moves (which should have accompanying jazz hands) and determines himself ready to go.
Did he…pull his prostate?
And thus, the challenge resumes. At one point, Stacy fires at Dreamz, and Cassandra tries some pass interference but loses her balance and falls flat on her ass. It is amazing. When the orange team is up 3-2, Dreamz grows frustrated with Earl’s poor pass coverage (good thing he’s not a Packers fan! Zing!), he tells Earl to get physical. Earl, in response: “I am physical! It’s all about the placement of the balls.” Truer words have never been spoken. My grandma is cross-stitching a commemorative wall-hanging for me as we speak. Also, I am twelve.
He’s so right.
Cassandra, at one point, full on boots Alex in the small of the back and sends him face-first into the dirt again. Dude, I had no idea she was going to play this dirty. Told you she ruled. She will totally cut your brake lines. Team Yau-man gets ahead 4-3, but the Stacy-Dreamz connection proves unstoppable and Team Stacy scores the next two points and gets to head to the spa for a day. She exchanges a celebratory hug with Earl and he spins her around; the whole thing seems pretty genuine. I think I might be coming around the corner on Stacy. They decide to send Boo to Exile Island; they say that it’s because he got to live in luxury during his entire time on the island and needs to know hardship, but I think it might be because he’s the dumbest one and is the least likely to decipher the clues. Also because they really, really don’t want to send Alex in case he finds the idol, which is why I like the “Re-hiding the Idol” concept; it keeps Exile Island strategic, instead of turning it into a place with which to repeatedly punish your enemies. Although that was pretty cool too, come to think of it. Send Candice and Adam to Exile Island!
Someone needs to give Probst a big muddy hug.
After the commercial, Boo arrives at Exile Island and gets the new clue, which says something about it being “near the trees” and “easy to reach”. So, not very much info. The editors would also believe that a sea snake slithers around the clue box, but as I have already postulated, I believe that Earl killed the only sea snake weeks ago. Boo says that since the idol is back at camp again, he’s just going to chill and not do anything for a few days. That should be interesting footage. At least get the man a machete to clean out his toenails or something.
Earl, Alex, Dreamz, and Stacy go directly to the reward from the mud challenge, so they’re pretty dirty as they ride in the seaplane to the spa. Alex tells us that he’s going to try to take the opportunity to see if he can “wiggle [his] way back into the alliance”. That would require you to have been in the alliance in the first place. The four of them arrive at the spa, and there is gratuitous Stacy Showering footage, which I am ashamed to say that I found sort of hot. After the showers, the four of them eat dinner in their spiffy bathrobes, and Dreamz spends the whole time looking at Alex, wishing for a lightning bolt. “A lion is most dangerous when he’s backed up against a wall” Alex tells us. (Lions everywhere: “If he comes anywhere near me, I swear to God I will maul his ass so quickly…”) You guys, Alex just compared himself to a lion, no shit. What a tool!
If I believed in reincarnation, and if I were a bad person, my punishment would be to come back as Dreamz’ foot massager.
Alex asks Earl what the order his, between Mookie and him, and Earl basically goes, “Yeah, I won’t be disclosing that information to you. I will, however, tell you that you are screwed.” (Yeah, you know it: WORD, Earl.) Alex tells Earl that he’s happy with the way he’s played the game so far. Oh, to be happy with complete obsolescence and poor decision-making. You think he’s Republican?
The winners return from the reward, and Mookie gets an unintentionally hilarious confessional where he tells us that “They came back from the spa reward, and they smelled like apples, and strawberries…” and he trails off, totally fantasizing about one of them sweeping him off his feet. In his head, Earl runs down the beach in slow motion, Mookie cradled in his arms and staring up adoringly at him, smelling of fresh fruit and romance.
Stacy: Honey, that’s…not for eating.
Mookie naps in the shade with Dreamz and abruptly tells him that he thinks Yau-man has the idol. His reasoning is actually quite sound: since Yau-man hangs out at camp all the time, he’s had the most time to look for it. So Mookie waits until Dreamz is asleep (in an awesome shot in which Dreamz is asleep in the foreground, stone-ass passed out, Lisi-style and with drool hanging out of his mouth while Mookie sneaks off in the background) and heads back to camp to test his hypothesis. Alex stands guard while Mookie rifles through Yau-man’s bag, eventually coming up with the idol. Apparently, Yau-man is pretty nervous about the idol falling into the wrong hands or something because he hasn’t hidden it or anything, which strikes me as odd. You think he would be smarter than to just stash it in his bag, you know?
So Alex and Mookie go off somewhere to formulate a plan of action, and they happen to choose the exact spot where Cassandra and Stacy are currently busy forming a super secret all-female alliance. You guys, I was right: Cassandra is a ninja! She is going to burn this whole place down and laugh as the flames consume everything. I’m telling you right now, she’s final four, at least. Be ever vigilant for nunchucks.
So anyway, Cassandra and Stacy hear Alex and Mookie coming and immediately hit the floor like there’s a tornado drill. The two dullards start talking about what they should do about the idol, and here is how you know that they’ve spent a lot of time telling each other how smart they are without actually, you know, doing anything smart: their first plan involves Yau-man actually taking his pants off at tribal council. Like, de-pantsing in Probst flagrante.
So in their minds, removing Yau-man’s pants at tribal council will somehow completely destroy Yau-man’s credibility and authority and, as a result, cause his alliance to implode, giving Alex and Mookie the game. That’s…incredibly delusional. Also, anytime I want to beat someone in competition, I will now be asking him or her to remove his or her pants. “Aha! Now that you are pantsless, your weak spot is exposed! You have no choice but to surrender to me!” And then I will sweep the Monopoly board off the table in one brisk motion, hotels and metal shoes and whatnot flying all over the room as I laugh in the face of my opponent and head to my room for the giant foam finger.
So Alex and Mookie have deemed this plan to expose the idol through pants removal to be genius (See? Talking voted off, they are somehow vindicated and his teeth are scary white the whole time, making about being smart rather than being smart) and Alex talks about how, even if they get me think that the camp is near some scary Fijian cosmetic dentist who had his medical license revoked. And then Alex does a whole bunch of fist pumps and gestures of victory like he has just won a gold medal, when in reality he’s just a douche on a log with little to no hope of survival. Douche on a Log, by the way, is the title of my upcoming rap-rock album.
So, this is dumb. First of all, it’s not like everyone knowing who has the idol has exactly doomed the idol-holder in the past. See also: Yul’s one million dollars. But if you have to do something, here’s what you do if you’re Alex: go to Yau-man and tell him you know about his idol. Then tell him you’ll keep it secret if he unloads a few of his extra alliance members before getting rid of Alex himself. Yau-man and Earl could jump at the opportunity to get rid of some of the extra weight (i.e. Stacy and Boo), and then Alex can use that time to think of a new plan. Don’t ask to be brought into the alliance, don’t ask for final three or whatever, just ask to stick around for a few days. That’s worth the secret of the idol, right? If it doesn’t work, you’re no worse off than you were before, and if it does, you have some extra room to play with. This whole “exposing the idol” thing places a premium on revenge instead of gameplay, not to mention it’s an incredibly boneheaded plan. If you’re going to expose someone, at least do it correctly, jackasses.
And then they make an effing Scarface reference, as most crapsticks are won’t to do, thinking they’re so about it. All douchebags like this have seen exactly three movies, and three movies only: Scarface, Zoolander, and Anchorman. Seriously, go into a bar, or onto Facebook or Myspace and look at some profiles. If you overhear anyone AT ALL quoting this, or if they have a quote from any of the above three movies in their profile, I submit to you that the person is, with almost 100 percent certainty, a complete turd. You can bank on that. It’s actually pretty sad, because those movies were awesome before assholes started ruining them.
So they start congratulating themselves about how smart they are, SOME MORE, and they start picking the nits out of each other’s fur and eating them and Cassandra and Stacy have overheard this entire exchange. Stacy adjusts something and a twig snaps, and Mookie immediately sees the two girls crouched in the bushes. Now they somehow think their hand has been forced, so they set off to tell Yau-man and effectively depants him now, because they think that this has transformed into some sort of race. If they can get to Yau before the girls do, their depantsing plan is somehow still the smartest thing ever. The whole thing is an opera of stupidity. It’s seriously Dude, Where’s My Car? levels of idiotic.
Shots of Mookie and Alex running and Cassandra and Stacy…not running. Ha. Mookie and Alex find Yau-man, tell him that they went through his bag and found the idol and then ask him in a snotty tone, “Would you like to tell everyone that you have the idol or would you like us to do it for you?” all proud of themselves like they’ve just pulled one over on him. Tell him to take his pants off! You’re forgetting that part! It’s the key to victory!
So, Yau-man’s response to this poor attempt at forced blackmail? “Meh.” Awesome. He basically says he’ll tell everybody. “I don’t think it will change very much, actually,” he says with a half-smile on his face. Alex and Mookie wilt, which they have been doing a lot lately. That’ll happen when you mistakenly think you’re the smartest person in the room all the time.
Since Yau-man has more intelligence in his little finger than those two have combined, he hilariously and quite wryly runs back to camp all “You guys! OMG, Alex and Mookie looked through my stuff! And by the way, they sorta found my idol, but THEY LOOKED THROUGH MY STUFF! HAVE THEY NO DECENCY?” And predictably, Dreamz and Stacy get all in a huff about personal privacy and respecting the space of others and what have you, so now everyone’s focusing on Alex and Mookie’s rudeness instead of the idol. Well played, Yau-man, well played. If he weren’t doing this for strategic reasons, I’d go into a thing about how everything’s fair in this particular game, including looking through people’s stuff, because the rules of society really don’t apply under extreme circumstances like this, and if you’re going to leave the idol in the bag, quite frankly, you deserve to have it exposed, and then I’d also do another thing in which I would point out that these people don’t exactly have a right to complain about privacy when they’ve agreed to have cameras all up in their taints for thirty-nine days. I mean, I would do that, if that were the case. But I won’t.
Immunity Challenge! Today’s challenge is kind of cool: it’s basically a game of Battleship played on a 5×5 grid. Everyone gets a ship three spaces long, and you can place it secretly wherever you’d like, including diagonally, which you can’t do in real Battleship. Everyone will take turns “bombing” squares (oh Probst, with your colorful language), and the last person standing wins immunity. They didn’t show it, but apparently there were actually trivia questions to determine who gets to go. Seriously, look at the picture!
I don’t know why he’s sad- a C is the best grade he’s ever received.
Basically, the key is to remember who’s been hit and where during everyone else’s turns so that you can deliver crushing blows during your turn. It’s all memory and strategy.
Boo comes back from exile, and then everybody chooses their squares. Most of them have chosen a diagonal path; the most notable (and funny) thing is that Boo and Dreamz have actually chosen the exact same squares. How have I never noticed that they’re sort of the same person? I’d love to see a remake of ‘Twins’ starring Dreamz and Boo.
Dreamz goes first, and because he has no idea what’s going on, ever, he hits his own square like an idiot. I think that those of you who have been putting forth the “Dreamz is actually a strategic mastermind” theory can officially hang up your hats. I’m sorry. You had a good run. So basically the grid is set up behind them and is covered by a screen, and each square has a little post with signs hanging on it signifying the chosen spaces of each Survivor. Some posts have more than one sign, because more than one person chose that space. Probst has a little board with wheels on it, and when he turns the wheel, the post signifying that space goes up in flames. Probst also puts a little “X” on a board in the spot chosen to mark it off, but only if someone has chosen that square as one of theirs. So if no one chose it, no X gets placed. It’s all pretty cool, actually. So, Dreamz chooses his own square and gives himself a hit, along with one for Earl and Boo because they’ve chosen the same square. The graphics guys get a shout out this week for the cool Battleship overlay thing showing where everyone’s squares are, and also the running tally at the bottom to tell us who’s had hits against them. Nicely done this week!
Cassandra, thinking that she can expose more of Boo, Dreamz, or Earl’s squares, chooses one near the square Dreamz picked, but accidentally chooses one of her own as well. Oops! At least she laughs at herself. But if you laugh at her? Ninja star. I’m just saying. Mookie catches on to what Cassandra was trying to do and hits Earl. Earl is next, and he figures it out too, getting hits against several people. Of course Yau-man knows what he’s doing, so he chooses a square wisely and ends up removing Earl from the game. Stacy is smart, too, so she chooses an adjacent square and knocks Boo and Dreamz both out. The challenge continues with people losing squares. In an apt metaphor, Alex sort of gets how the challenge works, but keeps missing. People keep taking turns; Stacy and Yau-man turn out to be really good at this, and Cassandra and Alex are sort of good. Cassandra gets knocked out next, and then Yau-man Jedis Mookie out of the game. People keep taking turns, and eventually Stacy seals up the win by deducing through the process of elimination that one of her own squares is also Yau-man’s and Alex’s final square. So, shockingly, Stacy wins immunity. I think my Make Stacy Feel Like Crap Day party is cancelled next year, you guys. She actually learned from the People Hate You challenge and has become sort of okay as a result, and she’s also pretty smart, between the Ed thing last week and this challenge. I’m sort of stunned, frankly. I’ll make up for it by throwing a party on the anniversary of the demise of Alex or something. The theme will be tools, and I’ll have like a Craftsman Power Drill cake, maybe. This has potential!
I’m laughing because I’m feeling kind of stabby right now. Where’s Alex?
After the commercials, Alex and Mookie discuss potential strategy with each other. Well, it’s actually “strategy”, because it’s yet more bullshit about how they are the smartest people ever. Instead of coming up with a logical plan (like trying to pull Stacy and Boo, and possibly also Dreamz over to combat an obvious final three of Cassandra, Earl, and Yau-man), they’ve decided that they’re just going to “cause some hell” because they have nothing else to do. Except, you know, the option I just outlined. I mean, they don’t have many options, but they should at least try a couple of things. Idiots. So anyway, Alex gives us this little gem: “If I’m going down, I’m taking hell with me.” What? I don’t even know what that means. If he’s getting voted out, he’s going to rid the world of evil? I’m…wasting my time.
He says some gibberish about how Yau-man can’t be trusted, and so he’s going to be using his time at Tribal Council to point out that fact. He says it like he’s going to reveal some giant revelation and blow everyone’s minds. Hate. So the fun people who are not Alex or Mookie are standing around trying to choose who to vote out. Earl wants it to be Alex. He says it’s because he’s more likely to win immunity, but I have a feeling it’s because he’s the smarter of the two and Earl doesn’t want him around to mess things up. Boo mentions that the clue for the new idol stated that it was pretty easy to find, so he doesn’t want to take the chance that either of the two stumbled upon it. That’s dumb! Get rid of Alex! Earl tries to say this, but Boo is pretty paranoid about the idol. If they found the idol, they’d be walking around with smirks on their faces like they knew something you didn’t, so you can pretty much rule that out, right? Nevertheless, Boo is nervous about it. Cassandra (see? ninja) offers up the idea to split the vote 3-3 as a fail-safe, and if no one plays the idol, they’ll vote out Alex after the tie. Earl, Stacy, and Yau go all whatev about it, because Earl figures that they’ll be able to get rid of Alex anyway, and he tells us that he wants to choose his battles carefully, which is a good idea. They all do this assuming that someone on their side of the line is going to be receiving the votes of Mookie and Alex, though; they don’t even consider the variable of those votes, which seems poorly done to me.
Earl, like myself, is highly suspicious of her hat.
They figure out who is going to be voting for each person as Mookie and Alex stand around, eating and not trying to save their own asses whatsoever like the lame-o toolbags that they are. Earl wants to make sure everyone has it right, because he gets nervous when people start splitting things and dividing. Me too, Earl: I am terrified of math. (I guess, maybe, WORD, Earl?) In case you haven’t figured out, I’m sort of a language guy. There’s not much that scares me, but man, math is the worst. For me it goes, in order by degree of terror: snakes, the chupacabra, American Idol, insurance companies, foreign policy in the 21st century, werewolves, algebra. Just like that.
Tribal council! Probst brings in the jury. Edgardo looks skinny, and also like he’s really tired of being called “Eguardo” all day in the jury house. Probst asks Alex and Mookie about whether the reward challenge changed how you viewed the other contestants’ style of play, and Alex and Mookie, who JUST INVADED THE PRIVACY OF OTHERS AS PART OF THE GAME, talk about how people were throwing mud in eyes and whatnot and how that’s not fair, and how that speaks to the character of these individuals. Oh my God, quit crying, babies. This is my Official Survivor Pet Peeve. First of all, character has no place in Survivor. It’s a game; character has no place in chess, either. If it’s within the rules, it’s allowed. Probst didn’t say Cassandra couldn’t beat you down (which she did), so she beat you down. Just because someone aligns against you, or beats you in a challenge, or does something in their own interests doesn’t make them a bad person. This is why Adam sucked last season, because he thought getting farther than Jonathan made him a better person. This is also why Alex sucks now.
How you play this particular game has no bearing on your character or what kind of person you are. How you respond to someone beating you at this game, however, does. If you’re an adult, you shake it off, respect the person for it, analyze where you went wrong and move on to try to figure out how to best them down the line. If you’re not an adult, you maybe, I don’t know, start crying about it after the fact (Alex), or you create one set of rules for yourself and one for others to justify what an ass you are in general (Mookie, and also Mirna. And Mirna some more.) He’s pissed because Yau-man keeps beating him, that’s all. He is officially the whiny little brother who is crying because he keeps losing at Nintendo.
By the way, this would be Alex playing clean. He’s totally not pulling anyone’s hair like a little girl.
Anyway, rant over. So, Probst picks up on this double standard and totally busts Alex on it, meaning that Probst has learned a little something since the days of Colby and Tina. He asks Yau-man how he feels about having his bag searched through, and Yau is like “Well, there’s an expectation of privacy, but it’s part of the game, you know?” You will notice that he did not call either of them bad people, or say that it spoke to their character that they rifled through another man’s things. All part of what he signed up for. Yau-man continues, earning some awesome points by being all “It doesn’t matter about the idol for the next few rounds anyway, so who gives a shit?” Amazing. Bother not with their doomed asses, buddy. After he says this, Probst gets all “Oh no he didn’t!” about it, but Yau sticks to his guns. Because Yau-man didn’t cave, Probst has to ask his go-to crazy Dreamz what he thinks about everything. Dreamz doesn’t even answer the damn question, and manages to make himself look yet MORE shady (if that were possible) by talking about how the alliance of six is going to have to break up in a couple of TCs. Seriously dude, don’t talk about that now! Silence yourself! They will vote your ass off so quickly. Worry about it later and don’t mess up your free trip to the final six. Honestly? Between his shenanigans from the Michelle vote, the debacle last week, and that comment? If I were a member of his alliance, it would be over, right there. His ass would be gone effing next week. Not even kidding.
Then, Alex volunteers some clearly pre-rehearsed crap about karma, but I’ve had it up to here with that term being misused by reality show contestants after this season of The Amazing Race, so I will chose to ignore it. It’s something about how “past acts foretell the future” because he is a palm-reading gypsy. Given who he is about to vote for, it looks particularly bad, not that anything he does these days doesn’t. My favorite part about it is how right in the middle of his diatribe, Stacy just bald-face turns around and looks at Boo like, “Do you believe this shit? What a douche.” That’s when I officially started liking her.
Time to vote! Mookie votes for Boo. And guess what? After all of his crap about karma and character, Alex votes for Mookie! I know, right? Totally surprising that his words and actions would contradict themselves like that! Color me shocked. Whatever the color for “not at all” would be. Gray?
Jeff goes to tally the votes. The first two are for Alex, and then there’s one for Mookie and one for Boo. After Jeff reads his name, Boo looks right at Mookie like, “Ooh, girl?” and then makes the stinkface. Jeff reads the rest of the votes, and because of the tie, it turns out that Alex’s vote for Mookie made the difference, and so Mookie will be making the trip home. That’s kind of Shakespearean and appropriate.
One less ridiculous nickname for me to keep track of. You notice the people with weird names are the ones staying around the longest?
So, I think leaving Alex in the game was a really, really bad idea. Lots of shakeups have happened at seven in the past; with Dreamz around, it could happen at any point. This season is definitely rapidly improving, though. What do you guys think?