MiniCap: Survivor


By PottyMouth | | 12:17 pm | 27 Comments
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, Survivor

Hiya Gasmi!  I felt like someone should have been passing out pacifiers on last night’s Survivor!  What a bunch of babies.  Well, at least a couple of babies.

We start out the evening with Kat and Kim strategizing about the reward challenge and how it’s super duper important that they don’t leave Douchezan, Christina, and Abitchia back at camp without them.  That settled, they agree to take each other as long as the aforementioned grouping back at camp can be avoided.

Pinky swear???

With that, we’re off to the reward challenge.  Of COURSE they’re playing for food again.  DUH.  This challenge is another oldie (but goodie).  It’s the one where they all have to answer a series of questions and then try to guess what the majority of the tribe answered.

Each right answer allows them a “chop” at their fellow tribemates.  As always, when they have likenesses of the castaways, the interpretation is a lot of fun.

Needs saggier boobs

Poor Christina gets pummeled pretty badly in the question round up.  For instance, almost everyone thinks she least deserves to be there.  But she’s not the first out.  That, of course, is Douchezan.  Awesomely, as their likenesses get chopped out of the challenge, they fall into a fire which burns away everything but a skeleton.

SkeleKat.  LOVE it!

That is so awesome.

In the end, Kim wins the challenge, beating Abitchia out by a nipple.  Not surprisingly, she gets to pick a person to go with her.  She chooses Abitchia.  Makes sense since she came in second and they don’t want her left behind at camp.  Naturally Jeff can’t leave it at that.  He first asks Kim how difficult it would be to choose another person, then tells her to do after confirming how super duper hard it would be.

You pinky sweared!

Pinky swear or not, Kat is shit outta luck because Kim is taking Chelsea.  Because she never gets to eat.  I think my definition of never is vastly different than Kim’s.  As you can imagine, Kat is not happy about this and Douchezan smartly tries to take advantage of her obvious upset, opining that it’s SOOOOOOO obvious that those three are the top three.  Oh, shut up.

He continues this back at camp until Cat is practically in tears she’s so pissed and frustrated.  Thankfully Sabrina is there to talk her off the ledge.

The immunity challenge involves the castaways oiling up and using a giant slip n slide.  And let’s just say I was SO HAPPY at the outcome.  I will also say that some people are much better than I am because I would have been a total jackass about the way things went.

Come back in a few days and we’ll talk more about greasing up, pigs, and my ongoing hatred of Abitchia.  Seriously.  Bitch needs to GO!!  See you then!

SWAK, PottyMouth

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

27 Comments

  1. 1
    carol
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Alicia is awful, if she wasn’t fired/reprimanded because of her actions when Colon was around, her actions and comments last night should be enough. Especially since most of them were made in her diary sessions. Just awful. If I had a child that had previously had Alicia as a teacher, I would start questioning everything she told me and everything she taught and said to my child.

    Why was Kat’s right side boob blurred out when you could see the whole left boob, nip and all. This happened after Kim and co got back from the reward. Also, I think I figured out what is wrong with Kat’s face – a nose job that ended with her having a nose that is too small for her face.

    Why, after all these seasons, would anyone want to win that type of reward challenge? It always causes drama.

  2. 2
    itchy
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    I was very happy they oiled up for the immunity challenge too!

    Oh. Wait. You meant… Never mind.

  3. 3
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    As soon as I saw them oiling up, I thought of you, itchy!

  4. 4
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Here’s how you know these contestants have too much food: someone suggested catching the pig to keep it as a pet. In past seasons, that little piggy would have been roasting on a stick so fast. But this year, they just wait for the next banquet to be served.

  5. 5
    fancyface
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    Well, I am the exact opposite because I LOATHE how the immunity challenge turned out. Now that’s the bitch that needs to go, but I have a feeling she won’t because she is literally playing with a bunch of morons who’s even topped the morons that let Rob win their season after knowing what a threat he was. Amy squared is getting too big for her britches and I feel like she’s getting a better edit than she should because her cockiness is written all over her, regardless of how much they choose to not show it. She didn’t take Kat because she knows she has complete control over her feeble mind and could talk her into not being upset and still do what she says. Ughh. I think I’m done with this boring ass season anyway. Any bunch that allows Alicia to stay there and assault my intelligence by appearing on my tv week after week, doesn’t deserve to have anyone watching them!

  6. 6
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    I don’t remember her exact words, but it came off to me something like, “I teach special-ed, and Christina is about as dumb as the kids in my classes.” It was Christina she was talking about wasn’t it?

  7. 7
    fancyface
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    PLUS? I’m watching (at least trying to suffer through it because I JUST KNOW it’ll get better lol) season 2 of Survivor UK which, so far, has been the most boring thing EVAH with small glimpses of brilliance, and they’re sitting on the beach watching a member of their tribe sit in the water while they’re contemplating whether or not he’s defecating in the ocean! (yeah you read that right) And not only am I grossed out beyond belief as well as bored shitless, it’s STILL better than watching Alicia!

  8. 8
    carol
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    found this on another site:

    “Christina’s IQ is probably a zero. I don’t know if that even exists. I mean, I’m a special Ed teacher. So, I’ll handle Christina as one of my students. She’s going to do whatever we tell her to do. If Troy pulls out an immunity idol, then Christina’s going to go. If she has to go, she has to go. If it ain’t my name, I don’t care!”

    This was all said in a private session, so this is her being honest, not playing the game. There is no reason for a person to lie to the viewers at home.

  9. 9
    fancyface
    Posted April 26, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Dude, I cannot tell you how perfect your avatar is for your screen name! Everytime I see it I hear “NO KITTY! BAD KITTY!” lol

    Anyhoo, yes, that ugly troll was talking about Christina when she said that & I’ve got to say, as a mother of a child with special needs, the only thing you have when you send your child to school, is trust in the people you’re putting your child’s care in and that is hard to earn. I can’t imagine what her parents that are watching her must be thinking. As a parent you will always worry about your kids when you send them out into the world, but one with special needs who are even more dependent on others, makes your anxiety so much worse. And for her to even think about using the intelligence of her students as a compass for such a vile comparison is even worse. She’s suppose to champion these kids, not tell the world they’re dumb! She is such a piece of shit, and if she has a job after this, someone needs to shot! Seriously! Just thinking about the possibility of someone like that teaching my son has me shaking. She is despicable!

  10. 10
    itchy
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 1:19 am

    I’m betting Kim doesn’t win this. She’s made a few pretting glaring strategic errors — like winning this immunity challenge (stupid), not taking Troyzan (really stupid) and choosinng Chelsea instead of one of the others (really really stupid). She made a couple of other mistakes like this in earlier episodes too. Plus she’s told someone she has the idol, even though, for now, that hasn’t bit her on the butt. Yet.

    All this suggests to me that she’s no wicked smart player but has only been lucky enough to be teamed up with a bunch of sheep, morons and slime (hi Tarzan!).

    Meanwhile, Sabrina’s been lurking in the background, riding coattails. In another episode or two she’s going to pull a move — she’s the only one who appears crafty enough to do this. Chelsea could win the immunity challenges, maybe, but she doesn’t seem to realize her bond with Kim is going to put her at #2.

  11. 11
    fancyface
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 6:05 am

    From your fingertips to that dumb ass tribe’s ears itchy! I am not prepared to watch her win, regardless of if she earned it or not! I mean, if you’re a cocky bitch, OWN IT! At least to the camera like everyone else, instead of playing the fair, innocent player in your interviews!

  12. 12
    zerocool
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 8:27 am

    Kim’s been playing well, but I would put money on Tarzan winning.

  13. 13
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 8:38 am

    I think ITCHY might have been right about Christina not being too smart. At least she’s nice! (It’s not like she’s stupid and rude.) She’s just not very smart but well behaved. Overall I would give her a + for being a nice human being.

  14. 14
    lindaw205
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 9:16 am

    I’ve been thinking that over the last couple of episodes, too. She hasn’t pissed anyone off and anytime anyone is upset she makes sure to be there for them. I would really like to see her win this thing.

  15. 15
    fancyface
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Is it me, or does this whole cast come off as ‘not being too smart’? Seriously. Not in just the way they play the game, because they clearly don’t know how, but in some of the things they say and the way they’re playing. It’s as if they all have a comprehension problem and can’t figure out how stuff actually works. I wouldn’t say all of them are ‘slow’ but the majority of them seem to be off in some way or other.

  16. 16
    fancyface
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 9:41 am

    That’s true, she hasn’t done anything glaringly hateful or offensive, and I really don’t know why I don’t like her and would hate to see her win lol. It probably is along the lines of why I never wanted to see Pervati win, even though she was sort of a survivor genius. Maybe it’s the smugness I’m picking up from her, but I want to see her go soon.

  17. 17
    lindaw205
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Is Chelsea the only person Kim has told she found the HII? If so, can you imagine how upset Kat will be when the truth comes out?

  18. 18
    lindaw205
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I should have been more clear – I’m pulling for Sabrina and I meant to say that Sabrina hasn’t been pissing anyone off, except Troy. For some reason Kim is rubbing me the wrong way, too, and I’m not sure why.

  19. 19
    amb3rlamps amb3rlamps
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I was extremely happy to see Chelsea all oiled up.. gave me a boner and I don’t even have a penis.

  20. 20
    leslilly
    Posted April 27, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    We’ve noticed that too, fancyface. It’s really odd and frustrating AND boring to watch.

  21. 21
    itchy
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 1:12 am

    Parvati was always really honest about how she was playing people, manipulating them, and she was even pretty honest to their faces about that too. That’s part of what made her gameplay so awesome.

    Kim got lucky because the men have been such idiots on this show. It would have been a much different season if Colon had stuck around, that is for certain. Too bad he was such a creep.

  22. 22
    itchy
    Posted April 28, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Christina is also winning the award for most-improved bikini look this season. While the others (except Abitchia) have turned into stick figures (with water balloons, in Chelsea’s case), Christina is slowly transforming into quite a dish.

    Too bad she appears to be such a dolt. It’s like she’s wasted. Or sleep-walking. It’s weird.

  23. 23
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 29, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I watched Russell’s new show Mr. D. He is the same old Russell, treating his brother/partner (Li’l Hantz’s dad) like a li’l bitch and taking a week off during a four-week project to separate from his wife while leaving the brother to do the work. The brother tells Russell that he can’t boss him around since they are 50/50 partners, but Russell in confessionals tells us HE is the boss and his brother will do as he is told.

    I thought it was interesting that when Jeff Lewis knocks down a wall it’s to “open up the space” for aesthetic reasons, but when Russell does it, it’s to “deceive the buyer” into thinking he’s getting a bigger house than he actually is.

    Anyway, the first epi was a financial success since the brothers tied up $300k for four weeks, sold the house within two days of project completion, and made about 10% profit on their investment. If they can keep that up all year long, they will more than double their money in a year. Add to that whatever A&E pays them.

  24. 24
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 29, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Cranky:

    I taped it and will watch it after the Amazing Race tonight but it sounds like Russell is still the man I remember him to be. It’s gratifying to know that GOOD TV people and the greatest reality star of them all is finally being given the respect and glorification he deserves.

    Thank you A&E!

  25. 25
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 30, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Cranky:

    It was even better than I thought it would be. My favorite part was when Russell’s brother took off his shirt but Russell’s still the STAR.

  26. 26
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 30, 2012 at 8:51 am

    It was your mention of the show about a month ago that made me aware of it in the first place. Glad it’s finally on and that you liked it. It’s pretty impressive that a first-time flipper could turn a profit, especially with the unexpected plumbing problems, the materials theft, and the brother’s (still don’t know his name) hideous cedar shingle installation that had to be torn down and thrown out.

    Sorry, but I think it would have been MUCH better if Russell had made “Houston’s hottest Realtor” take off HER shirt and get in that mud hole instead of his brother. Yeah, I know it’s not her job to do that, but what Russell says goes, so it coulda happened.

  27. 27
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 30, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Yes, I have a feeling Russell personally selected her.

    And you know, I didn’t think the “country modern” touch was all that bad but I understood why it had to go.

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