MiniCap: Survivor

27 Comments

1. 1
   Derek Hazelton
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 11:49 am

   I really want Tandang to go to Tribal Council before the final merge so that the audience can try and figure out where the alliances actually stand. As it sits now, we’re just going to get a Kalabaw pick-off and we won’t get to see any actual game play/strategy until Final 7/8. This season started off so strong and now we’re getting stuck in the rut of having one tribe be so dominant.

   Also, Jeff needs to learn what an actual blindside is before trying to compare last night to some of the greatest Survivor blindsides: James, with two idols, Edgardo, etc. Getting voted off because you’re considered the weakest link hardly meets that criteria.

   If Denise makes it to the Final Tribal, she should win just by arguing that she survived each and every tribal council of the season. I’d give her my vote.

2. 2
   Mister_Dangerous
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 12:09 pm

   I agree with everything Derek said.

   Well, the standoff was kind of boring outside of Penner reaching between Skupin’s legs and Skupin sitting on Penner’s head. If there was more “man on man” action I could have sat through more of that big ball competition.

   I bet that Carter guy was home schooled. Maybe, he didn’t even go to school? I bet he’s one of those “drop outs” I’ve read about. He doesn’t seem real bright.

   I hope Arlis doesn’t turn into “tantrums after the challenge” Russell.

3. 3
   sweetblondie
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm

   Mr Sweetblondie and I laughed and laughed at the challenge…until the negotiations started.

   That shit’s not funny.

   We are just both way too competitive to ever do that…we would rather die (DIE, i tell you!) than give up like that…

4. 4
   ANTM Fan
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 1:22 pm

   WTF was with Skupin eating the raw rice? Doesn’t uncooked rice just pass through you, undigested? So he’s not only depleting the food stores…but he’s also not getting any nutrition from it.

5. 5
   crankyguy
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm

   @ANTM, I’d be more worried about it swelling up and becoming a bowel obstruction. Maybe he soaks it for a while in water first, enough to allow him to chew it, but he is definitely weird if he eats it straight from the bag.

6. 6
   itchy
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 1:38 pm

   Worst episode in a long long time. Almost as bad as the episode where that stupid tribe decided to go to tribal council even though they’d won the competition.

   But I’m going to guess the producers were encouraging the deal, seeing as how the game got bogged down pretty quickly.

   Also, you know Flabby Maria was jumping for joy when the called off the competition before she had a chance to get in there.

   And man, Denise is a saint. I would have been pounding on that Lisa idiot. And pouring hot sauce down her throat.

   Worst of all, they voted out one of the only two remaining bikini models. Grrr.

7. 7
   alice
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 2:38 pm

   im joining team lisa!!
   soooo far she’s still there..and the thing with the hot sauce..i would gladly lick hot sauce if she commanded it..she could be my master and i’d be her slave..”im reliving my crush from back in the days..as a mouseateer lisa was hot..as blair….yummy!!! as a woman ………….hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! im a couple years older then her……….GO !!! TEAM LISA!!!

8. 8
   considerthis
   Posted October 25, 2012 at 6:23 pm

   I’m am utterly and horrifcally fascinated by Carter’s looks or lack thereof. He is like a human Mr. Potato Head with a mish mash of features randomly slapped on an acne ridden skull.

   First he has an adam’s apple that is more erect than anything Cialas could ever provide. The the huge uncircumsized penis nose just above the tinest but poutiest lips of a baby cherub. All set off be near cyclops crossed/wandering eye (s). Well at least he is smart – oh wait nevermind….

9. 9
   featherhead
   Posted October 26, 2012 at 5:11 am

   Hey Penner – who do you want to vote out? Katie or Penner? BWHAHAHA!! I can’t believe Penner didn’t catch that, but Kent did. Carter you are an asshole!

10. 10
    KJN
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Carter should have just kept his mouth shut for the entire season. And what is up with his eyes? When the camera shows his face straight on from the front, yikes. Let’s just say he looks a little…slow.

    It’s kind of fun watching Blair Warner live in a jungle. I prefer to remember her that way and not think about her crazy hot-saucing ways in real life. How does Denise not recognize her? Or Penner?

    Skupin is too stupid to live. Eating the rice raw? Whaaa? It has to be way more filling and satisfying to eat cooked. It’s their own fault for being low on rice if they just stood there and let him do that. Idiots.

11. 11
    PinkTop
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I love Probst-bot’s increasingly TJ Lavin-esque antagonization of Brazil Nut, especially “probably Malcolm who should be holding that” at the last immunity challenge. I totally agree. You tell her Probst. Can’t believe she dared to get her flabby paws on that South Park Turkey when she didn’t even compete. Somebody please hot sauce that bitch.

    considerthis – I love your painstakingly accurate description of Carter’s appearance.

12. 12
    juddfan
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Agreed, all . . . for all the good feelings I had for Mike the first time around, this time he is just ridiculous and stupid. It’s never good to eat more food than others . . . sigh . . . no matter how stupidly you do it–remember banana-gate!

    It was a little hot when Penner was in his crotch, weird move tho. Maybe, since he seems impervious to pain, Penner thought a little something-something would work.

    Denise was so heroic!!! I’m team Denise all the way, I so hope she makes it!

13. 13
    juddfan
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    @Pinktop, you reminded me, what is with Probst and all the verbal abuse in the challenges–shut your hole, ass!!! It’s like bullying from the side lines, and he’s so picking on the girls!!! What a jerk!

14. 14
    Robin
    Posted October 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Skupin is wearing on my nerves, too. But he is my MVP at TVG Fantasy Survivor and just this last week I received 120 points from him. I vaccilated between him and Penner for the longest time. I am glad that I picked Skupin because he is point worthy. If Skupin is kicked off and Penner is still there, I will certainly choose him for my new MVP.

    juddfan, I agree that Jeffy is more like a barker at a flippin wrastling match anymore. But, I also think that “Abi, who doesn’t want to do anything Maria” needed to be called out. Because I cannot stand her.

    On the other hand, and at the risk of being fair. Jeff should keep his flipping nose out of it. Some of these folks don’t remember who on the other tribe went where or did what at challenges! They just remember what their Own tribe did..And who contributed to the reason they are at TC.

    Jeff essentially put it out there to everyone that if she is in the mix when they merge, she is a slouch. The other tribe should figure that out themselves without his help. Now, I know that some folks think that her nonparticipation is obvious. It is to me and I didn’t need Jeffrey to tell me she is a lazy bitch.

    But, I think it is unfair for him to point her out before a merge. I enjoyed the hell out of how uncomfortable she looked when Jeffy said it, I adored the look on RC’s face when he said it; I just don’t think it was appropriate to talk about tribe members faults before a merge and giving folks info that they may not have been aware of because they weren’t keeping their eyes open.

15. 15
    itchy
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 6:15 am

    I’m pretty sure everyone is already well aware of who’s sitting out and who’s putting an effort in. A lot of these competitions involve people sitting around and watching the others take their turn, and I’m sure it’s escaped no one’s attention that Flabby Maria is always the first to volunteer to sit out.

    I’m just disappointed they didn’t put her in during that first round — pairing her up against Denise, for example, would have been a hoot.

    More telling was Jeff’s (blindside) insistence on a BLINDSIDE to Penner (blindside). Which, after the 15th time Jeff said it, pretty much made it obvious that Penner was safe for that round.

16. 16
    pretty good year
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

    According to Abi-Maria, she tore her Achilles’ tendon during the first few days on the island, so that’s why Tandang sat her out every chance they got. Of course, that still makes her one of the luckiest Survivors ever. Most contestants, no matter how much they suck, have to play in at least one challenge per episode. Her tribe’s early lead, combined with the decreased number of challenges in general, has made her the veritable queen of all bench-warmers.

    Not that I care about challenge performance at all. My favorite winner ever is Sandra, and I think she sat out the most challenges ever in Heroes vs. Villains.

    Anyway, I never quite understand why tribes choose to get rid of useless girls during the middle of the game when they know the merge is coming. They’re merging next episode, and if they had kept Katie, her challenge weakness would have gone from being a burden to an advantage overnight. If they weren’t going to eliminate Jonathan, they could have at least forced him to use his Idol, which you don’t want to still be in the game at the merge.

    I appreciate that Katie scrambled and really tried to stay, but she’s lucky she got as far as she did. She seemed pretty self-aware and self-deprecating about her weaknesses in her post-game interviews, though. She has a surprisingly good sense of humor about it all. Still, she’d be one of the first two boots on a normal season. Matsing sucking so much really allowed a lot of cannon fodder to make the merge.

    Also, Carter was just as pathetic in the challenge. More importantly, unlike Katie, he is one of the most boring, inarticulate people I’ve ever seen on the show. I mean, Katie’s not anything special, but she at least knows how to speak. Every time Carter gave a confessional last week, I wanted to throw something at my television. He is painfully vapid. I think he’s a mouth-breather. Now I know why he’s been invisible up until now. I hope he’s next.

17. 17
    pretty good year
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 10:01 am

    According to Abi-Maria, she tore her Achilles’ tendon during the first few days on the island, so that’s why Tandang sat her out every chance they got. Of course, that still makes her one of the luckiest Survivors ever. Most contestants, no matter how much they suck, have to play in at least one challenge per episode. Her tribe’s early lead, combined with the decreased number of challenges in general, has made her the veritable queen of all bench-warmers.

    Not that I care about challenge performance at all. My favorite winner ever is Sandra, and I think she sat out the most challenges ever in Heroes vs. Villains.

    Anyway, I never quite understand why tribes choose to get rid of useless girls during the middle of the game when they know the merge is coming. They’re merging next episode, and if they had kept Katie, her challenge weakness would have gone from being a burden to an advantage overnight. If they weren’t going to eliminate Jonathan, they could have at least forced him to use his Idol, which you don’t want to still be in the game at the merge.

    I appreciate that Katie scrambled and really tried to stay, but she’s lucky she got as far as she did. She seemed pretty self-aware and self-deprecating about her weaknesses in her post-game interviews, though. She has a surprisingly good sense of humor about it all. Still, she’d be one of the first two boots on a normal season. Matsing sucking so much really allowed a lot of cannon fodder to make the merge.

    Also, Carter was just as pathetic in the challenge. More importantly, unlike Katie, he is one of the most boring, inarticulate people I’ve ever seen on the show. I mean, Katie’s not anything special, but she at least knows how to speak. Every time Carter gave a confessional last week, I wanted to throw something at my television. He is painfully vapid. I think he’s a mouth-breather. Now I know why he’s been invisible up until now. I hope he’s next.

18. 18
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    @PGY, I think they may not have targeted the “useless” girl, had they not gotten rid of Dawson last week (who was a better challenge performer) in favor of Katie and she still turned in an awful performance this week knowing her head was on the chopping block. I think no matter what, Katie was done if they lost, but I do give her credit for trying to scramble.

19. 19
    itchy
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Katie was much more pleasant to look at than Carter too. Sigh.

20. 20
    Robin
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    SURVIVOR REJECT : Probst Had it Out for Me!

    What a big baby.

    http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=770842

21. 21
    Robin
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    “The conditions were terrible”

    No Shit! Does she think that the folks watching this show want to see folks win a million dollars while sunbathing and drinking fruity cocktails on the beach? They don’t make the conditions terrible enough as far as I am concerned…Idiot.

    TC, Robin

22. 22
    pretty good year
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 7:01 am

    Actually, things have gotten worse since the first few seasons. They had ponchos and rain-resistant clothing in the first few seasons. They get abandoned in their jeans and dresses these days. Plus, we’ve had more medical evacuations in recent seasons than we did in the early seasons, so I think it’s pretty obvious that things are just as tough, if not tougher.

    I actually sympathize with all the castaways I’ve met — including a good friend who was once on — because I think the editors don’t really show the rough conditions as much as they used to. The editors only focus on strategy these days, but if you read interviews or contact former Survivors, they usually tell you a lot of harrowing stories about how rough things get out there. Players still routinely have to get treated for parasites when they leave the island.

    She didn’t say anything wrong in that interview, and she certainly didn’t say anything that made her an idiot. She was just describing what the conditions were like. It didn’t seem like she was complaining about it. I mean, goodness, I still have a bunch of friends who think the show is fake, or think that the cameramen sneak the contestants candy bars when the cameras aren’t rolling. Every Survivor talks about how tough the conditions were in their interviews, because most people who aren’t fans think the show is staged. They’re just defending themselves, so why single Katie out about it?

    And Probst is an asshole who almost always favors male players over female players. He consistently glosses over guys when they’re weak, especially if they’re returning players or gimmick contestants like Jeff Kent. (And Jeff Kent sucked in the obstacle course last episode. Did Probst say anything? Nope.)

    I miss Schoonie’s recaps. He got how awful Probst has become since he became executive producer.

23. 23
    crankyguy
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 7:31 am

    Until recently, the only time I can remember Probst berating players is if they announced that they wanted to quit. It’s uncalled for producer interference for Probst to single out certain players during competitions and rag on them in front of everyone else about how much they are sucking and hurting their team.

    Another thing that bothers me is his play-by-play commentary during thinking challenges, like puzzles. How can anybody think with him running his mouth? I used to have a teacher who would talk all during exams, and even was asking one guy about his new, just-out, top-of-the-line HP calculator that no one else had yet — while the guy was trying to write his exam. Asshole.

24. 24
    pretty good year
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 7:50 am

    It’s uncalled for producer interference for Probst to single out certain players during competitions and rag on them in front of everyone else about how much they are sucking and hurting their team.

    I watched the first season, Borneo, again recently, and I fell in love with the fact that Probst was almost entirely silent during challenges. They just let music play and they showed captions saying who was behind and who was leading. It was beautiful, I tell you.

    What bothers me most is that Probst likes to interfere in Tribal Council a lot these days. He was basically telegraphing to Jonathan that he might need to play his Idol. And do you remember in Nicaragua during Jane’s boot? Jane was one of Probst’s favorites that season, and she was on the chopping block. He literally articulated what she, Fabio and Dan needed to do in order to blindside Holly and get the numbers back. It was crazy. Him playing the game for people needs to stop.

25. 25
    Robin
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    The fact that she actually thinks that Jeffrey” had it out for her” is pretty idiotic. If she thinks it is personal and not just the fact that she is useless at challenges only highlights her idiocy. Also, I can’t help but notice that she mentions many times that she wasn’t the only one that sucked! Other people sucked as much as she did! Idiot.

    I have seen malnourished on Survivor and she was not malnourished. Who does she think she is kidding!? It is on film! Those chubby cheeks don’t lie. Unless her mouth is moving, I suspect.

    You have a Good friend that was on Survivor once? I almost forgot.

    I agree that Schoonie was a good recapper. Heck, all of the recappers here are good. But I am fond of PottyMouth recaps because not only has she “got” Jeffie’s # she gets it all, hilariously.

    Robin

26. 26
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Wasn’t Survivor Guatemala pretty tough, challenge- and consitions-wise? Maybe it was that brutal jungle trek that had Bobby Jon having seizures from dehydration or whatever it was…

27. 27
    pretty good year
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 3:55 am

    Other people did suck as much as she did. Carter sucked. Jeff Kent sucked. Probst called out Carter, but didn’t campaign for his boot like he did for Katie.

    And the phrase “had it out for me” doesn’t imply anything personal. She didn’t even say it was personal. It just implies that she was Jeff’s chosen “this is the chick who I’m going to pick on to deflect attention away from my favorites” character. He does it every season. There’s nothing idiotic about it.

    Whether it’s Courtney Yates or Kelly Czarnecki or Natalie Tenerelli or Edna Ma, there’s always some woman who Probst gives a bunch of crap at challenges and he’ll often go so far as to campaign for her boot at Tribal Council, especially if one of his favorites is on the chopping block. Weaker guys who get good edits, like Cochran and Coach, though, rarely get called out. It’s kind of obvious even for a fan, so it would definitely be obvious to the players who are out there, wouldn’t it?

    And it’s not even a conspiracy theory. Probst makes it very known in interviews that he prefers male players and thinks they should get far every season. He’s also an executive producer. Reality television is hardly fair game, so the fact that he tries to manipulate the proceedings by calling certain people out more than others is to be expected. I just don’t like it, since in the early seasons he kept his mouth shut (or they edited out his manipulations; in either case it was a better show).

    I don’t think I even told you I had a friend on the show before. If I did, sorry, but as far as I can recall this is the first time we’ve interacted. I don’t tend to pay attention to posters’ names when I’m replying on here, though.

    As far as chubby cheeks showing that she wasn’t malnourished, that doesn’t even make sense. Malnutrition and weight aren’t correlated all the time. Just because you haven’t shed any pounds doesn’t mean you’re getting all the nutrients your body needs (hence the fact that obesity and malnutrition are both epidemics in poverty-stricken areas).

    I mean, she was only on for 16 days, so of course no one is going to lose massive amounts of weight in that time, but if you’ve only been eating a small serving of rice a day for that time, then yes, you’re malnourished. The Survivor diet is hardly a balanced one. If you’re used to eating healthily (and it’s probably safe to assume that she was), then once you change up your diet, you’re going to feel it and it’s going to hurt. What, you think she was lying when she said she wasn’t able to keep food down during her first days out of the game?

    Also, Guatemala was a really tough season. I’ve been to those ruins in the summer, which I think is when Survivor usually films, and it is insufferably hot. I couldn’t imagine doing intense physical challenges in that heat. If I recall correctly, production hated that season because they didn’t have good accommodations. Part of the reason they’ve been to Samoa so many times is because Jiffy and the rest of the crew gets to stay in some luxury resort every time they go.