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I’m going to keep this minicap short and sweet, Gasmi. After all, with the reunion we’ve got three hours of TV to discuss, so the sooner I get to writing, the sooner I can get the full recap done and out to ya.
Don’t look at me like that Jeffrey
Of course we have to start out the show with a recap of the entire season. I’d get annoyed, but it gives me a chance to finish cooking my dinner and get myself situated to watch.
The air definitely seems lighter around camp now that Scabby is gone (if you haven’t watched the Ponderosa videos you definitely should). I know I’m happy not to see her. At least until tribal, but that’s at least three or four commercial breaks away from now, so just let me enjoy it, mmkay?
They get tree mail directly them to a challenge site and no one knows if it’s for reward or immunity. I’m hoping for immunity because I’d really love to see us going back to a final two instead of three this time around.
#AwwwPhooey #Denied #whydowekeepgettinghashtagsatthebottomofeverythingnow?
The reward is an obstacle course/puzzle combo and Jeff tells them they’re playing for the biggest prize of the season. Oooooooooo! Are they bring the car (and its curse) back? Nope. They’re playing to win an advantage in the next immunity challenge. BOO!!! It’s too late in the game for this nonsense. Cheapskates.
After the reward challenge everyone is scrambling around, trying to figure out who will be the three at the end (another reason a final two would be fantastic; throw a wrench into their scheming Jeff!). It seems clear that Lisa and Skupin will be together no matter what, but when Denise tries to get Malcolm to commit to a final two with her, he pulls a Penner.
I’d really like to keep seeing other people
Of course this makes Denise squirrely and so she does what anyone would do; she goes to the Duo and tells them she’s willing to vote out Malcolm if they are. OH NO! What will happen?
We also get the fallen comrade torch visits (HATE), an immunity challenge involving balls and wood, and bitter, bitter jury peeps. All the ingrediences that make for a delicious finale stew. Well, unless the ingrediences are a bit out of balance.
Too much fish sauce!!
Meet me back here in a couple of days and we’ll talk about how hot sauce helped Lisa’s game, the final (SPOILER ALERT) three’s grilling at that last tribal, Jeff’s probing reunion questions and Dawson’s continued determination to molest Jeff. I’m sure his wife is thrilled.
See ya there!
SWAK, PottyMouth
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59 Comments
Yay! I was so happy with the results. It was like a run-away which I didn’t expect. Iowa is the best state ever and that’s why the winner was so dignified and classy.
Biggest shock of the entire show was the Sprint Fan Favorite.
Glad to see Malcolm will be in Survivor 2013 !
I thought the “car” was coming back too!!!!!!! And how funny that Denise did most of the talking on fallen comrades–heeheeheehee
Did Penner really call Denise a bitch??? And Yikes–Malcom-bittermuch????
Cannot wait for the recap and to watch this again– just saw Denise win (yay!!!) and then fell asleep
hahahahaha–my cap cod is…..hit the hay
well said cap code!!!!!
Fan Favorite just has to be the result of fans of old TV shows and perhaps a campaign within the church community. Jeff kinda rubbed in the loss to the runner-up, didn’t he?
Well, the right person won. Pretty rare when that happens, but damn, he/she deserved it.
I was super disappointed in a few of the jury members right after the episode, but I watched a few of their pre-FTC interviews, and I feel a lot better about some of them now — I feel like a couple of them were edited to be more negative or bitter than they actually were.
Did Penner really call Denise a bitch??? And Yikes–Malcom-bittermuch????
I can cut Malcolm some slack since he really didn’t have much time to get over it, but Penner? Damn, he must have been stewing in bile for his whole stay at Ponderosa. He hated on all three of them.
Ever since such a big deal was made about Sue Hawk’s rat/snake FTC speech every year these Type A attention seeking players try to “out do” that speech.
No doubt Penner (since he can never seem to win – despite 3 tries) spend every waking moment at the Ponderosa crafting up a nasty, biting, sarcastic final comment. Once again Penner – missed the mark as while it is remembered today and maybe tomorrow in the end it was just a random comment by a bitter wannabee.
Malcolm shot himself in the foot. He should have agreed to do what Denise suggested — if they both had voted for Lisa, then Malcolm would at least have had the chance to beat her in the fire-building competition.
But he got lucky. The worst thing that could happen to a young kid would be to win a million dollars.
Speaking of which, isn’t it great that the final three were all people in the late 40s/early 50s? When’s the last time that happened?
Yay for Denise!
Itchy, that’s never happened. This is the oldest batch of finalists ever. I think Thailand might be close, but it’s best to forget that season.
This was such an enjoyable season. After the dreadful combo of South Pacific and One World, I’m glad that Survivor has gotten its groove back. Everyone really contributed something to this season.
Okay, maybe not Carter, but everyone else!
Also, Dawson knows how to do shameless attention-seeking right. Abi and Penner should take notes.
Penner lost major cool points for his speech, super disappointing.
itchy #10, you read my mind 100% – spooky!
I’m watching the reunion right now. Oops, I mean, The Lisa Show. What an idiot. Guaranteed Burnett’s producing a show with her and that’s what this is all about.
@itchy: I was also impressed with the ages of the final three. Particularly because 2/3 of them were pretty competitive, physically.
I, too, was pleased with the result, and also surprised at 1) how lopsided the final vote was and 2) the fan favorite.
I’ve rather enjoyed Skupin and his pratfalls, but he really pissed me off during the pre-tribal scrambling when he was wondering about whether or not there would be any “honor” in sitting next to Denise. It’s not like Denise just coasted to the final four. She had to fight for her life over and over, and she was a BEAST in the physical challenges (at least until the very end).
@Itchy: from your mouth to…um…crap, nevermind. Yay for Burnett’s crush on my Blair!!
Anyway…SO HAPPY FOR DENISE!! she kicked some serious ass all season and no winner deserves it more than she does!
My cap code is “vocal minority”…how do they know I like Lisa Welchel?
Itchy: you did see that Lisa is now going to host Jeff Probst’s talk show, didn’t you?
Uh, I have to correct myself. Lisa is going to \co-host\ Jeff’s show. (They need more female viewers.)
No, I didn’t. Is that true? No wonder they’re milking her like that. Well, she did clean up nicely for the reunion show. Except for the hot sauce stains on her fingers. Guess she can’t help that.
he [Skoopin'] really pissed me off during the pre-tribal scrambling when he was wondering about whether or not there would be any “honor” in sitting next to Denise.
I really believe that the only thing he meant by that was that breaking his promise to Malcolm in favor of taking
Denise because Malcolm was thought to be a sure thing for the win would be dishonorable. But, as Lisa pointed out, is it really worth handing Malcolm a million dollars just to be honorable?
If someone can explain to me why Penner felt the need to “out” Lisa as a former tv star other than to sabotage her slim chances in the final 3, I’d like to hear it. For all the goodwill that Penner built up over the course of the season, he undid it with that biting, cunty, bitchy speech. While I’m documented as disliking the winner, I have to say that no one could overcome their storyline of the season. And, I’m also glad that Abi was proven right that “SKOOPIN” is an idiot once and a moron twice by not dragging the season’s goat to the end.
Moral of this and every season of Survivor: drag the goat to the end!
I’d really lost interest in Survivor the last couple of years. They all began to blur together, but this was one was worth it. Finally, I could stomach the final four. Couldn’t believe Malcolm was all butt hurt and petulantly taking it out on Denise, instead of the two he shook hands with. Pretty childish.
Jeffy redeemed himself a little with his speech and his snark that some were still a little sore loser-ish (Malcolm). But Penner, when he started his hoe-down I started cracking up. The expression on Lisa’s face! I think that’s why I disliked Penner so much the first two times he played. I could agree with his jabs at Lisa and Skupin but how he could justify calling Denise a bitch is beyond me while he was busy demonstrating the epitome of a major bitch move himself. All he needed to add was, “Neener, neener, neener!” before he sat down.
And Scabby….was she irate! The puss on her sweaty face. I enjoyed the Ponderosa footage of her arrival in camp and her hounding RC to accept her apology. After all, what’s the big deal? She only told her to go kill herself….
I have not watched Jeff Probst’s talk show, since mostly during the challenge’s and his commentary, I’m yelling at the TV screen for him to shut the hell up. So…..I am NOT going to be watching it if they add Lisa Welcher as a co-host. I never watched The Facts of Life back in the day. I hate sitcoms like that. I taped the show and fast-forwarded through the come-to-Jesus moments….. It’s back enough having do-gooders ringing my doorbell.
….bad enough….
Don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice lady, I just don’t need to spend any more time with her.
I don’t think she’s such a nice lady. She comes off as conniving, sneaky and mean-spirited. When she’s not sobbing and whining about how ha-a-ar-d her life is.
The fallen comrade torch thing is getting old. I always yawn my way through that.
Malcolm is probably getting a ton of action right now.
And wtf was with Scabby’s shiny face?
@crankyguy: I thought Skupin was pretty explicit about saying that he thought Lisa and Denise would be easy to beat because they had just coasted and he wanted to go up against the “best.” Am I misremembering?
I have to admit that Lisa bothered me much less than I thought. From a moral standpoint, I find her repugnant: I think her parenting guides are loathsome, bordering on child abuse, and I find her religious philosophy to be misogynistic and homophobic (she believes you can “pray the gay away” and supports organizations like Exodus). But I was still annoyed at how much screen time she got in the reunion. I didn’t need a twelve-minute explanation of God’s role in Survivor.
” From a moral standpoint, I find her repugnant: I think her parenting guides are loathsome, bordering on child abuse, and I find her religious philosophy to be misogynistic and homophobic (she believes you can “pray the gay away” and supports organizations like Exodus). But I was still annoyed at how much screen time she got in the reunion. I didn’t need a twelve-minute explanation of God’s role in Survivor.”
Amen
PS, Just a shout out to our TVGasm Fantasy Survivor Tribe. We finished #27 out of 276 tribes! We had the largest Tribe, so the odds were stacked against us. But darnit, we did a great job. Thank You!
I am looking forward to seeing you all again next season.And, anyone else who would like to play
xo, Robin
I often wonder if Mr Dangerous and itchy are actually the same person. Or perhaps two personalities within the same person…
That said, I had been a Penner fan all season. His speech, however, was ridiculous and spiteful.
I would have been fine with any of the final three winning, and believe the person who got the check is deserving.
So, since this live show happened last night and the next season of Survivor has been filmed, Malcolm had to tell some white lies. Is that why he was shaking and you could tell he was thinking about what he was saying. Plus, he was the only one that looked like he had not gained any weight.
That final challenge was very nice simply for the close ups of Malcolm’s stomach.
I am currently in a place with a DVR so I DVR’d all three hours of this. I started watching when it was an hour and a half in. I fast forwarded through the beginning recap, the fallen tributes and the ads. I actually got back to live tv with a couple of minutes left. So much fluff.
I was gobsmacked by how shitty Malcolm was to Denise at the final tribal. Talk about bitter.
@cattyfan,
It was a toss up at the begining of the season whether to pick Pennar or Skupin as my MVP in Fantasy Survivor. I truly liked Pennar. After his speach last night, eh, not so much. His melodious voice couldn’t even make those words sound good. And I am glad that I picked Skupin instead of him now. Well, I was glad I didn’t pick him when he got kicked off, but still.
I still like Penner.
Yeah, I kinda do too, still. Its just taking awhile to get over the venom that he spewed. I didn’t expect that from him, honestly. I thought better of him. I didn’t think he would be such a poor loser and to blame someone else for it after you’re at your third time at bat is laughable.
I had Lisa pegged from the begining. I knew she was auditioning. But I am so disapointed in Penner.
Ha ha, one of my dreams is to watch television with Mr. Dangerous one day.
Penner was just putting on a show. He was probably asked to do that. He just took it too far, that’s all. Calling Denise a bitch? Sorry. I can see where she has a really “strong” personality though.
I have to say, I’m happy for Skupin that he made it to the end. And he made it there without anyone ever voting against him — that’s a tribute either to his likeability or his lameness. Maybe no one ever considered him a threat?
Oh and also, I’m kind of ambivalent about Malcolm being on next season. I thought he was a great player, and probably the most likeable player since Ethan Zohn way back when. But since none of the other players of next season will have had a chance to see him play, it seems like an unfair advantage. Still, it’s much better than what they did with Russell.
@itchy
One of my dreams is to watch TV with all the Gasmi, and fall asleep in each others arms after ROTFLOAO!
xo Robin
I’ve often wondered how many people have choked to death while eating while watching television with Flipit.
Thank you Lord for not bringing back Russel Hantz. That might have been the end for me. I am gagging though at Brandon Hantz. And some of the others. I think the term “favorites” might have been used loosely. Also pleased that they left out Fat Ozzy. Guess Malcolm is the Ozzy replacement.
That’s why I taped the last show and the reunion. There are always so many damn commercials, but I ended up fast forwarding through all of Lisa’s explanation of her religious-come-to-jesus-aha-boring-enlightenment b.s. Who gives a rat’s ass why she was going to backstab somebody. I couldn’t figure out why the hell she was getting so much screen time for that crap, until you guys said it was because she’s going to cohost with Probst.
Lisa did the one thing I do not find forgivable and that is to go through Malcolm’s personal belongings (and everyone elses), give a bullshit excuse saying it was to dry his clothes. What a nice Christian lady, all pure goodness. That’s like opening somebody else’s mail. But she got away with it. Then she turns around and reveals that Malcolm has an idol which just says to me she’s a liar and a Christian when it’s convenient for her. I thought that was really shitty. Nice move worthy of a Hantz. So I did NOT want her to win.
Malcolm turning on Denise and acting like a petulant brat, when it was his “two solid handshakes” who betrayed him really turned me off. I did not want him to win. So glad that Denise won. I think she played the best game by far, to go to every tribal council and make it all the way through. And yet Skupin still thought that the best would be to go up against Malcolm!
Carter was totally gracious which impressed me. Pete was still a moron and Artis cracked me up. I’m not an angry black man damnit!
Being a Christian doesn’t mean you’re perfect. You sin, just like everyone else.
That said, I completely tuned out and went and got a beer during the religious portion of Lisa’s speech during the reunion. I tune into Survivor for entertainment, not religious instruction.
And Lisa? She (and so many other people who are religious…not just Christian) need to learn to SHOW their beliefs through how they live, what they say, and what they do instead of blathering on and beating people over the head with their spiritual perspectives.
I always love the, “I voted you out, but HOW DARE YOU WRITE MY NAME DOWN?” anger that happens on these shows.
@ANTM, I was just speaking to the “honor” of his sitting next to Denise, although I don’t think there is any doubt that he thought Malcolm would be harder to beat. If he said Denise coasted, then I just never heard it, because I would have remembered him saying something stupid like that. I’m one of the very few who does not like Denise, but that is due only to her smugness and arrogance, since her physical game was very impressive.
@crankyguy, Malcolm was doing pretty well himself in the smugness and arrogance department if you watched his many talking heads over at CBS. The one thing he is not lacking in is in the self-confidence department. He was pretty sure that people were just going to love him.
@Aunt Dorsey, noted about Malcolm, but according to Probst’s remarks at the finale, a lot of people DO love him. I was put off by both Lisa and Denise’s opening remarks to the jury, especially Denise’s crowing about how she had “outwitted” Malcolm, and at that point I only wanted Scoopin’ to win. I really didn’t get how Denise’s being lucky enough to have Lisa and Skupin pick her over Malcolm had anything to do with her outwitting anyone, so STFU Denise.
@crankyguy, my loathing of Denise was very well-documented on this site, and I have to agree with you. I don’t think Denise “outwitted” Malcolm, so much as Lisa/Skupin thought they had a better chance to win against her than Malcolm, which was plainly obvious. Where Lisa/Skupin screwed up was not taking Abi to the end and voting Denise out at Final 5. Once they made that million dollar mistake, that choosing between Malcolm/Denise either way was a death march for the both of them. I really get annoyed by these Survivors who talk about strategizing so well and then fuck up the end game so royally (Amanda Kimmel).
Speaking of Amanda, I do believe she was the first Survivor to compete in back-to-back seasons (China, Micronesia). So, let’s not give Russell Hantz any more credit than he deserves.
Uh, I say Denise, from the great state of Iowa, outwitted Malcolm because when he said nix-na to the final three deal — Denise didn’t sit around hoping he would change his mind and relying on him to come around, no, instead she marched right off to Skupin & Lisa and made a final three deal with them. They even told Malcolm what she had done.
Denise approached them. They didn’t approach her.
Denise just seems confident to me. No one is saying Skupin or Malcolm is arrogant or smug but, of course, they’re men and she’s a woman so…
BTW: Oh, CATTYFAN, no ITCHY is not MR. DANGEROUS. I wish I was more like ITCHY simply because ITCHY is Smart and Witty and reminds me of my brother.
When I talked to my brother on the phone, this past Saturday, he said, \Jesus was a democrat because Jesus fed the poor and healed the sick. If Jesus had been a republican he would have cut off the poor’s food stamps and told them they didn’t deserve medical treatment.
No one is saying Skupin or Malcolm is arrogant or smug.
Actually, at least two of us did with respect to Malcolm. I never noticed Scoopin’ being smug, though, but maybe I wasn’t paying attention. I don’t like Lisa, by the way, even though she is God-fearin’ sister in Christ, and I LOVE hot sauce.
Yes, Jesus would be a Democrat supporting abortion on demand and banning prayer in schools. Right. And no churches with Republican members feed the poor or operate schools and hospitals. Not one.
I noticed that Abi was really uncomfortable at the reunion. I think that besides the fact that she is very obnoxious we can add that although she has an excellent English, but she has trouble expressing herself, much like Giselle Bunchen, who can be very abrasive herself !
I just hope they won’t bring Abi back in a heroes x villains.
Well, Cranky I’m glad we can agree that Republicans don’t care about the poor or the sick. At least, we can agree on that!
Well, I’m surprised that nobody said both Malcolm and Skupin were SO SURE that they would win if they got to the end. Yet the so called \arrogant and smug\ ladies just wanted to get to the end and then they would take their chances.Denise and Lisa weren’t pushing out their chests and strutting around like Malcolm and Skupin. To me, Malcolm and Skupin seem like the smug and arrogant ones.
I hope for your sake, Mr. D., that Russell Hantz does not turn out to be a Republican. I think it might crush you. It would crush me too, but for different reasons.
Cranky:
You are the nicest person in the world. I hadn’t thought about Russell in hours. Now, that you’ve mentioned him I’m going to go and turn on my secret spy camera and see what he’s doing.
Oh come now, is there any doubt that Russell Hantz is a republican? Any? This guy is the epitome of the Republican voter. And Fox News viewer. But it’s not like, with people like Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh, that the Republicans actually need an extra Hantz.
As for Skupin’s contempt for the women players (because that’s what the whole “take Malcolm to the end, be a warrior” thing was all about) — why should that come as a surprise? This religious cult he (and Lisa) belong too is all about this kind of reactionary thinking. I appreciate, though, that Skupin tends to keep his loony religious beliefs on the down-low, for the most part.
I’m kind of torn about Denise, mostly because, since her game was really based on the social aspect, it wasn’t as spectacular to watch as say, someone who wins a lot of competitions or someone who pulls off ‘big moves’. I would still have preferred Malcolm to win, since he really does come off as likeable and level-headed (I don’t get the same smugness feeling, but then, I don’t tend to be intimidated by other people’s confidence), and he had a good grasp of strategy and he could pull off competition wins.
And anyone who calls himself Mister Dangerous is a brother to me.
I’ve met plenty of guys like Russell Hantz who are Democrats if for no other reason than their trade unions tell them to be Democrats. So, yeah, there is doubt. We don’t even know if he votes. I bet he has no idea who Karl Rove or Ann Coulter are.
Attention to my TVGasm friends:
itchy…here is a link for a fundraiser on e-bay. On sale: Parvarti’s bikini http://www.ebay.com/itm/Parvati-s-Bikini-From-Survivor-Micronesia-Fans-vs-Favorites-Autographed-/370715141549?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item56505825ad
And for you, Mr. Dangerous…Russell’s hat http://www.ebay.com/itm/Trademark-Fedora-Personally-Worn-by-Survivor-Villain-Russell-Hantz-/370715219571?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5650595673
Thinking of you both with great affection.
Not sure if my original post will be approved by the mods. I had posted a message with links to two items on ebay. Here’s my post with the links removed so as not to give anyone stress.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Attention to my TVGasm friends:
itchy…here is a link for a fundraiser on e-bay. On sale: Parvarti’s bikini (you will need to do a search)
And for you, Mr. Dangerous…Russell’s hat (a similar search will turn up the sale)
Thinking of you both with great affection.
Thanks cattyfan, the links worked. Perfect fuel for my Boxing Helena fantasy.