MiniCap: Survivor

44 Comments

1. 1
   considerthis
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 11:39 am

   Do not think the favorites should get their rice and beans replenished.

   Yeah what he did was awful but even thought it’s a joke the name of the game is SURVIVOR and you have to SURVIVE whatever the game gives you. Even if it is media whore, bat shit crazy, Les Moonves hard on inducing Hantz family members.

   Brandon’s a pussy who wanted to quit. He originally took the “soft” whaaaaa whaaaaa I miss my family approach and when that wasn’t working took the douche route to exiting. Makes getting sand in your eye look respectable dontjathink??

2. 2
   carol
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 11:49 am

   What I don’t understand is when they are voted off (even the first person), they do not go home so why would Brandon think he would see his family the very next day. Aren’t they all sequestered, with the jury separate from the rest, for the entire length of filming?

   Also, what if another player actually felt not safe, ie they were actually scared that Brandon would physically harm them? Would the producers step in and remove that person (a la mtv/real world)? I have a feeling that is what happened. Or else he broke one of the rules but the producers & jeff told him if he went bat-sh*t-loco first, they wouldn’t kick him out and he would just be ‘voted off”.

3. 3
   Mister_Dangerous
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 11:59 am

   I really don’t want to bad mouth Brandon because I don’t think he’s that bad and I don’t find him scary at all. He’s just emotional but who isn’t?

   Having said that — I don’t think he should be brought back to the show EVER again.

4. 4
   brootessa
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 12:10 pm

   All I know is – I would not want to be married to Brandon. He exhibits the characteristics of an abuser and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him if he didn’t have a host and producers keeping him from ripping someone’s head off. I feel sorry for his wife and kids who probably live in fear that he will explode any minute.

5. 5
   itchy
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 12:15 pm

   I spent most of the episode muttering “Get this douchebag off my screen, get this douchebag off my screen” but when it finally happened, I was really uncomfortable. You could see how clearly Probst was loving this — as if he’d planned it all by himself.

   Probst (who I’ve just learned is running the whole show) has turned Survivor into the reality equivalent of the Jerry Springer Show. Shame on him.

6. 6
   missV
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 12:15 pm

   I’m surprised it took this long for someone to lose it and throw out the food like that. . . pretty unfortunate if that’s how he acts in his personal life, but it did make for good TV.

7. 7
   Honeybee
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 1:27 pm

   BHCP is straight bi-polar. Regardless of how he “plays up” to the camera’s he has shown time and time again that his emotional swings are something that he should seek help for. One minute he is kind and jovial and then within a short amount of time and self reflection the mood swings in a completely opposite direction. There are drugs that are made for that.

   Phillip is just delusional, not to mention annoying. Being a a tribe with either would just suck. I was half expecting that Brandon was going to mutiny and join the fans. I figured that the producers were going to try to milk the crazy for as long as they could. But nope.

   Can’t wait for the recap.

8. 8
   mere2142
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 1:41 pm

   Just when i thought I couldn’t hate the Hantz family anymore, they sink to a new low and stir up even more disdain.

   I wish Jeff had let Brandon and Philip fight – no matter the outcome it would have been a good show!

9. 9
   cass
   Posted March 14, 2013 at 1:45 pm

   That was just painful to watch. I couldn’t believe they even brought him back when he was already so clearly unstable. Brandon and Philip are both crazy, but at least Philip is the fun and entertaining type of crazy. Brandon is not the type of crazy I want to watch or would ever want to be on an island with!

   I rarely comment but read all minicaps and recaps, thanks PottyMouth for all your hard work!

10. 10
    juddfan
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    can u believe I haven’t seen this yet . . . but I don’t have to to know he is bi-polar or something. I also believe physical threats are against the rules, and voting him out was just a save face, instead of just dragging him out.

    I believe he’s just doing what Russell told him to do . . . I don’t know why they think it’s a good thing . . .

11. 11
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    I actually kind of liked Brandon and his rant was a thing of beauty. He outed Philip, gave the Fans a boost they didn’t deserve, and left the game before the jury (although I’m sure he will get to talk about his mental state at the reunion). I did love his explanation of dumping the beans and rice: If the Fans don’t eat, neither do the Favorites (especially since he was leaving!) I am unclear how kind of quitting equates to being the ‘author of your own fate,\ but Brandon went out in a blaze of glory, which I enjoyed.

    I do have to blame Dawn & The Cockring to a degree; they know that Brandon is bipolar and emotional from their original season, yet they vote off Francesca for some \strategic\ reason and expect Brandon to \understand\ because \it’s just a game.\ I believe Francesca could have been a Coach-like presence in Brandon’s island life and they should’ve realized that keeping Brandon calm keeps him loyal.

12. 12
    timgunnssister
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Jeff insists (in interviews) that ALL contestants have a psych screening pre filming and that Brandon passed with flying colors. So, was this because when he asked to be voted out the rest of his tribe didn’t say ‘oh no, please stay!’? Or was this cooked up by the producers since they are seriously slipping in the ratings?

    If all is as Jeff says, then he’s not bi-polar or suffering from any mental illness.

    I smell a Hantz.

13. 13
    pretty good year
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Everything Brandon said about Phillip was completely correct. Brandon may indeed be crazy, but at least he’s authentic. Phillip is the most boring, unfunny, forced, and disingenuous contestant the show has ever had. Whoever thinks he’s entertaining needs to explain how stupid nicknames, repeated in a superfluous scene at least once per episode, are entertaining. Phillip is dull, repetitive, and takes airtime away from actual intrigue or character development (provided there is any this season to actually show, which is still in doubt).

    Anyway, I still don’t like Brandon. He’s clearly mentally unstable and yet another example of CBS not properly screening reality contestants. Granted, his instability should have been made clear after his first season. He should never have been brought back. Having said all that, it was still weird for me to find myself on his side during the entire debacle. His behavior was inappropriate (to put it mildly), but everything he said about Phillip was correct. I just hope one of the normal, sane people begins to say the same things. I’d love to have them both off my screen before the merge.

14. 14
    Philo
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    WORST ACTING JOB EVER!

    What happened to coming to finding Jesus, forgiveness, and all that garbage from his first season??? Oh yeah, he was acting (poorly) then, just as he is acting now.

    This latest outburst was just to keep his stupid family name in the headlines (ala Uncle Willie).

    How could any of those people stand there and not laugh at this 4 foot punk during this “tirade”?

    This show is going down in flames, faster than BB……

15. 15
    pretty good year
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    “Big Brother” went down in flames years ago…

16. 16
    ANTM Fan
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    I absolutely loathe Phillip, but he’s a beast in the challenges, particularly for a 54-year-old man. As much as hate him, I have to give him credit for his conditioning.

    Why does Reynold think he’s so attractive? He’s just a bland, average-looking guy.

    If Brandon passed a psych eval with flying colors, then this was all staged for the cameras. If this was not staged for the cameras, then they need to be doing better psych evals. I would NOT feel comfortable with Brandon in my camp.

17. 17
    Novi
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Phillip has an excellent future in hostage non-negotiation. Every time the criminal starts to calm down, he could be there to yell out “Your mom never loved you! Your kids are ashamed!” Not that I thought Brandon was sane, or that his rant was necessary, but it never helps to have an instigator like Phillip over there making the situation worse.

18. 18
    J-Mo
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    As I watched Probst lustfully massaging Brandon’s shoulders and squeezing his meaty little man-tits, the only thing I could hear coming out of HantzyPantz’s mouth was Chrissie Hynde singing “I’m gonna make you seeee, there’s nobody else here… no one like meeee… I’M SPECIAL (SPE-CIAL!)… SO SPECIAL (SPE-CIAL!)… I GOTTA HAVE SOME OF YOUR… ATTENTION, GIVE IT TO MEEEEEEE”

19. 19
    pretty good year
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    I don’t think the psych evaluations are all that great on Survivor. If you remember Kathy in Micronesia, she had a breakdown and “quit” the game, although Probst admitted, a few seasons later, that she was essentially removed because of her deteriorating mental state. I had always thought the editing in that episode was a little weird and tricky. It made more sense after I read the interview.

    You’d think after one incident like that they would try to be more vigilant. But let’s be honest, this is reality television. You could tell Probst was loving the tension of the last episode, and I’m sure this entire uncomfortable incident is one of the reasons he’s been calling Caramoan “one of the best seasons ever.”

20. 20
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    @PGY, you should listen to Rob Cesternino’s podcast. A few weeks ago, he had Kathy (to get an original “Fan” perspective on the new set of “Fans”) and she admitted that she lied about being on prescribed medication and went cold turkey to get on the show. She admitted that the Survivor doctor told her afterwards that she wouldn’t have been cast if they had known about her prescription.

21. 21
    itchy
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Well, as much as I can’t stand this Phillip clown, I despise Lil’ Hantz, so yeah, I’m glad he’s gone. Here’s hoping Phillip’s gone next!

    And it looks like they’ll finally get around to the tribe mixup, since the “fans” tribe is clearly outgunned.

22. 22
    pretty good year
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    I listened to that! I thought it was kind of sad that only Joel and Kathy showed up. I wanted to see Natalie Bolton and Tracy, who is one of my favorite pre-merge contestants of all time. But yeah, I had heard something similar before. How thorough is a psych evaluation if it’s that easy to lie to pass one, though

23. 23
    cattyfan
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    “Yeah what he did was awful but even thought it’s a joke the name of the game is SURVIVOR and you have to SURVIVE whatever the game gives you. Even if it is media whore, bat shit crazy, Les Moonves hard on inducing Hantz family members.”

    considerthis…I think hard on is one word, not two. Other than that, you are completely correct.

    I hated this episode. Aside from the fact that Brandon made it clear a long time ago he had thought about going a little nutty and destroying things (probably after coaching from Russell,) never before has a contestant been allowed to speechify to the other team about their own team’s strategy. This seemed very producer-driven. I can’t stress how much I hated it.

24. 24
    pretty good year
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    “never before has a contestant been allowed to speechify to the other team about their own team’s strategy”

    People did that pretty often in Redemption Island and South Pacific. Remember when Stephanie and Krista went to watch the duel and ended up throwing the entire Zapatera tribe under the bus to Rob?

    Of course, that’s one of the many reasons I hated those seasons.

25. 25
    zerocool
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    J-Mo you are frickin hysterical. So funny.

    Its clear there’s something wrong with lil Hantz although I agree with pretty good year – everything he was saying to Phillip was right on!

    CBS better stop with this fucking family. So sick of them.

26. 26
    lindaw205
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    I think LilHantz had this planned from the beginning. He kept threatening to do “something”, which was the build up to his breakdown. He admitted he took a lot of shit from the public and, most importantly, his family after his first season. I think he planned this to show everyone what a man he is and I think Russell coached him. And the whole breakdown at the IC looked very much producer (Probst) driven. Why else would they just let him go on and on instead of immediately removing him? And Probst’s questions were meant to escalate the tension.

    Maybe now that Brandon and Shamoo are gone they can get down to playing Survivor. I’m still not sure who Julia is.

27. 27
    lindaw205
    Posted March 14, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    Oh, I also read an interview where Brandon says he watched the episode with Russell, his father, and other crazy Hantzes and they all talked about how proud they were of him. Crazy family.

28. 28
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:01 am

    Most disturbing of all–watching Probst massaging the Hantzy Pantz. Like he’s been lusting in his Jimmy Carter heart the whole game. Whenever he momentarily escaped Probst snatched him right back and kept on like he was kneading communion biscuits. Couldn’t tear my eyes away. It was craptastic.

    On the bright side, now they’ll have someone to change ShaMOOooooo’s diapers and bring him his bottle. (Since he always stuck me as one of those secret big fat baby fetish guys….since he had Sherri steppin-and-fetchin’ for him, I just wondered if she was also doing bed pan duty for the lazy schloob too.)

29. 29
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:07 am

    On the other hand, Hantzy Pantz promised us the pissing pecking of pestilence and HE DID NOT DELIVER! What a whiny wiener.

30. 30
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:08 am

    *pecker*

31. 31
    lindaw205
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:48 am

    OMG, you’re so right Aunt Dorsey! The Whiny Wiener did NOT deliver on the Pissing Pecker of Pestilence. I submit that Peachy Probst put the skid marks on that idea.

32. 32
    itchy
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 3:48 am

    Some people think what Probst was doing was keeping him close — so he couldn’t/wouldn’t run over and start wailing on Phillip. Which, I was kind of hoping he would, because Phillip would no doubt have crushed him quite easily. But yeah, that Probst massage looked kind of weird. You know in his head he kept thinking: “Mmm. Colby.”

33. 33
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 5:00 am

    Itchy–yep the Probst was keeping Hantzy Pantz contained by a ninja kneading technique I’ve never seen before.

    I was terrified the producers were going to pull one of their stupid moves and stick him on the Fan’s tribe, so at least they did not do that. Thankfully they kicked his Hantz azz off and he can go home and regale his inbred tribe of hateful relatives with tales of how he stood up to Philip’s pink manties.

34. 34
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 7:53 am

    @itchy – that’s what it looked like to me, as well (that Probst was keeping him close to avoid a physical confrontation w/ other trib members).

    I watched some of the secret footage, and Corinne (and maybe Dawn) said they were scared of him getting to the machete, and they literally hid things from Brandon because they were afraid he might snap and really do something violently crazy.

    Yeah – there is something not right with that boy.

35. 35
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 8:34 am

    Uh, oh. I was reading an interview with Brandon on another website and he said he wouldn’t go on SURVIVOR again unless Russell was there to compete against him.

    He seems to think that Probst and CBS will ask him to return to SURVIVOR.

36. 36
    timgunnssister
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 8:52 am

    ‘You know in his head he kept thinking: “Mmm. Colby.”

    Whew, at least I’m not the only one.

37. 37
    sweetblondie
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Forget Hantz…I was pissed off at Dawn for crying so damn much!!

    Jesus woman, if you can’t deal with stress, maybe SURVIVOR isn’t a game you want to play. Ugh!

38. 38
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 11:25 am

    She’s a Mormon–it’s in her contract. She’s required to cry frequently.

39. 39
    itchy
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    I’m willing to cut her some slack. They probably only showed us a fraction of the hell it must have been like living with that nitwit 24/7. No doubt she was down to her last nerve — they even had to hide the machete from him, that’s how worried they were he’d snap. Hell, even dumping their rice and beans is pretty fucking dangerous in a survival situation. So yeah, all that, couple with TWO DAYS STRAIGHT OF RAIN ought to be a free pass for a bit of tears.

40. 40
    cattyfan
    Posted March 15, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    Putting up with Brandon and Phillip would drive any sane person to tears. Crazy bastards…

41. 41
    PinkTop
    Posted March 16, 2013 at 7:54 am

    I am starting to think that the whole Hantz family was genetically engineered for the purpose of appearing on reality tv.

    I agree that Probst kneading Brandon was mega creepy. *shiver*

42. 42
    itchy
    Posted March 16, 2013 at 10:39 am

    You wanna know creepy? Have a look at the latests Walking Dead comments. These gals are getting so horny, they’re ready to take on an army of Zombies. Probably the entire Hantz family too.

43. 43
    Reynold
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 11:38 am

    I’ve often thought this entire show is scripted and been annoyed by that (the best moments, like Parv passing out idols like candy, just seem too awesome to be real), but suddenly, I hope it is. Brandon clearly needs psychiatric help, as does Phillip. If they are not actors hamming it up for the camera, the producers should be charged with some kind of negligence. A thorough psych evaluation should be involved the *first* go-around, and these two have been out there twice. This is especially important because the show that inspired this one, Sweden’s Expedition Robinson, is perhaps best known stateside for not taking enough precautions in that area and the very first person ever voted off the island in this format threw himself in front of a train as a result of the humiliation. If you aren’t psychologically sound, you are a danger to yourself and, more importantly, the other contestants. This isn’t the original Olympic games of centuries ago when killing other contestants meant winning, this is a freaking reality show airing in 2013. I’m not watching the rest of this season, the first I’ve watched since they announced Russell would be coming back a third time (and I took a 5-season break before that). It’s not fun anymore.

44. 44
    Robin
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    A psych evaluation isn’t fool-proof.

    Just a few months ago a cop went to the home of his estranged wife and blew her away with his service revolver. His exam happened 2 yrs ago. There is an episode on the ID chanel about a gal who drove her gangster friend around in her cop car before they shot and killed an off duty cop right before they robbed and killed the owners of the restaurant he was protecting.

    I would hope that they had an evaluation as good or better than Survivor.