Um…………..yeeeeaaah, where to begin? Last night’s Survivor was a doozy. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, along come a bunch of idiots to prove you wrong!
It all started simply enough; the men return from voting Matt out, the Frat Pack is in disbelief that one of their own was picked off, math clearly not being their strength. Tarzan and Douchezan agree that Bill should go next because he’s just too damn likeable.
Meanwhile, Salami is still on a high from their win and now they’re all laughing and braiding each other’s hair and giving pedicures and shit. The guys hope to capitalize on the good moods and ask to borrow their fishing net while repeatedly saying they don’t care whether the girls say yes or no.
Fooling no one.
The girls may be in better moods, but the guys should know that women have looooooong memories and they’re not forgetting that the guys haven’t been so helpful to them. So, that’s an ixnay on the borrowing of the netay. Douchezan thinks the women’s emotions have turned wacky.
The reward challenge involves coconuts, slingshots and a giant game of connect five, which the ladies surprisingly dominate. Tarzan calls this victory “lucky”. Them grapes they is sour.
But the real insanity of the episode happens after the immunity challenge. I’m not going to give away what happens (we’ll go into all the gory details in the full recap), but let’s just say collective stupidity is something I never thought I’d see on this show. At last not at this level.
Also? Colton is an asshole. And a classist. But he totally has an African American housekeeper in his life who is like paid family, so he’s definitely NOT a racist.
I don’t understand why I couldn’t bring Mammy as my luxury item.
Thanks so much to TheProfessor for awesomely subbing in for me last week – LOVED the recap!!! Hope y’all will join me in a few days for the full recap where we can REALLY get into the nitty gritty of the episode. See you there!