MiniCap: Survivor

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Thursday, March 15, 2012 | 8:49 am | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, Survivor

Honestly Gasmi, I’m still reeling a bit from last week’s fucked up episode.  I spent last night’s episode waiting for a call out that never happened, or at least some sort of karma to strike….but, no.  Or…….maybe?????

The women are abuzz with talk of the merge; they pledge to stay strong and true to each other to the end.  I’m skeptical of this since women on this show rarely stay true to the all-girl alliance.  I blame it on syncing cycles.

A whole tribe of this would be a little much for anyone, doncha think?

Ya just know that one’s always on the rag.

When the tribes arrive for the reward challenge, Jeff tells them to drop their drawers buffs.  But it’s not a merge; they are doing a tribe mix up!  Each person grabs an egg out of Jeff’s basket and then in unison, they break their eggs to find out by color which tribe they will now be a part of: blue (or turquoise really) = Salami, orange=Manono.

I am not going to lie when I tell you how happy I was at the placement of a certain excrement holding body part.  The tribes end up being really lop sided, but I don’t really care about that.  (well, I might feel sorry for a couple of the people that end up with Colon; I’m just happier that he ended up where he did)

The winner of the reward challenge will get to stay at the One World beach plus get all the fixins for PB&J sammiches.  Losers get to move and rebuild.  More celebrating happens in my living room.

Unfortunately Colon is way too slimy and pus filled to be held down for very long and he’s up to his machinations in no time at all.  UGH.  Just watching him makes me feel like I need a shower.

I can almost see the slime trail following him wherever he goes.

The immunity challenge is super physical one, so yeah, it’s sort of a no brainer how it’s gonna end before it even begins.  So now Colon is ready to put his next master plan in motion.  WHY DOES NO ONE SEE THEY CAN VOTE HIS ASS OUT AND GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES?!?!?!?!?!?!?  God these people are idiots.  HATE.

So they vote out the only worthwhile member of their tribe and I now hope they get decimated by the other tribe.  No fucking merge, Jeff!!!!!  Let the other tribe just pick these fuckers off one by one.  PLEASE!!!

 

I hope you’ll join me in a couple of days for the full recap where I can tell you what I REALLY think!!  ;)   Until then……

SWAK, PottyMouth

 

PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Is it wrong that when Dolton had the ball during the challenge that I was screaming at the TV – “Drown him, Drown him!!!!”??

  2. 2
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Uh, no. That’s fucking hilarious. And quite possibly one of the things being screamed in my house as well. :)

  3. 3
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

    We were yelling it in unison.

  4. 4
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 10:25 am

    When Alicia and Colton were forming the new alliance, my brother (who doesn’t watch Survivor) came into the room and asked me, “Who is the sinister homo and the girl with the saggy tits?”

  5. 5
    featherhead
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 11:06 am

    I think Alicia and Dolton make a perfect pair, after all she is a special ed teacher!

  6. 6
    fancyface
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 11:13 am

    BELIEVE me…you weren’t alone! The panicky ‘Help Me’ he yelled as whatshisface repeatedly body slammed his revolting ass under the water MADE MY DAY!

  7. 7
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 11:43 am

    While part of me enjoyed seeing Colon dunked under the water repeatedly ANOTHER part of me was proud of him and the fact that he held onto the ball while the other team was trying to kill him.

    My mother who ALWAYS likes the gay peeps on these shows doesn’t like COLON so I think he may be irredeemable. She kept asking me on the phone, “What’s wrong with him?”

  8. 8
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    The best part was when he screamed like a girl. Hahahahahahahah

  9. 9
    featherhead
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    Lol Flipit that was great! Dolton is more girly then the girls are.

  10. 10
    itchy
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    I’m glad Monica was voted out. Those beachballs sewn into her bikini were much too distracting.

  11. 11
    randomnicole
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    I was also in the “drown him!” chorus. What a hateful creep he is. WHY do they listen to him?

    Still traumatized by the Tarzan squatting in his speedon’t/underwear…thing. UNSEE.

    At least I have a tribe I kinda really like now.

  12. 12
    Clair Clair
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    OMG – they were! Second-worst boob job ever (my ex-neighbor has the first-worst). The botox was pretty bad too.

  13. 13
    Moli Moli
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Talk about a band of misfits…that tribe is horrible. I have to say Leif did a damn good job going against Mike(?) and Mike(?) pissed me off the way he kept mugging Leif. I was part of the drown Colon crowd as well BUTTTTTTT I have too give him props for somehow holding on to the ball( ewwww I feel dirty now). The person voted off should not have been, it should have been Colon with a blindside.

  14. 14
    Robin Robinez
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Watching Tarzan mess with Dolton about that particular name was great TV. I enjoyed it and it made up for having to see Tarzan bended over in his speedo.

  15. 15
    Lurker
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 1:35 am

    Yeah I still have nightmares/night terrors about that as well. Producers really need to put that fuzzy censor thing over Tarzan … they did it last season with coach. Tarzan is all kinds of icky.

  16. 16
    pretty good year
    Posted March 17, 2012 at 10:01 am

    They totally need to have a likable, athletic, masculine gay stud on the next season to make up for Colton. Like, give us a gay version of Tom Westman or Ozzy Lusth, but younger than Tom and without Ozzy’s hippie hair.

    Better yet, give us a gay version of Colby Donaldson! (The Australia version, of course, not the Heroes vs. Villains version.) I’d love to have an openly gay cowboy who will lead his tribe and be a beast in the challenges, to boot. No more whiny self-absorbed flamboyant queens. They give us all a bad name and should stick to “Big Brother.” Make it happen, CBS! Break stereotypes!

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