MiniCap: Survivor

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Thursday, March 22, 2012 | 8:22 am | 45 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, Survivor

I’m trying to figure out what the hell I can say about last night’s Survivor without giving too much away!  Um……okay…….here goes……

We start out the night with Christina’s shock at Monica’s ouster.  Colon is his normal charming self as he tells her she is the next to go, no one likes her, and she should probably just try to align with a hermit crab or something.  Alicia cackles with glee at this whole thing because she is just as much of an asshole as Colon is.

Have I mentioned lately how much she sucks?  I still CANNOT comprehend how this heinous hag teaches special needs kids.

There was some talk on the last recap of Alicia’s resemblance to a certain feral child…..

Awwwww……memories.

The reward challenge involves coconuts AGAIN; this time bouncing them off a trampoline to hit targets.  Guess which team sucks at this?  Even though their ENTIRE tribe sucks at this challenge (well, maybe not Leif and Tarzan), Colon has decided it’s all Christina’s fault that they lost because she wasn’t trying hard enough.  Unlike Alicia, who even Jeff called PATHETIC.

A+ for effort!

Back at camp, Colon continues being hateful to Christina, telling her she should either quit or throw herself in the fire.  Alicia cackles with glee some more.  UGH.  I don’t know which of them I hate more.

I gotta give it to Christina though, because she’s still making an effort to do something.  She goes to Jonas and Leif and tells them that Alicia is totes in an alliance with the girls on the other tribe and she will CERTAINLY join back up with them if a merge happens.

Unfortunately Alicia walks up behind her during her plea and no one clues her in

Just when you think the episode is going to be ALL kicking of Christina while she’s down, karma strikes.  I won’t spoil what happens in case any of you haven’t seen it, but it was pretty satisfying to behold.  Oh, and Christina was all sorts of awesome while hateful people were still HATEFUL.

Also?  Kat may be the dumbest person alive.

Come back in a couple of days where we can discuss EVERYTHING that went down.  Until then…

SWAK, PottyMouth

 

PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

45 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I thought yelling at Christina at the reward challenge was hilarious. What did Colon expect after telling the woman he hated her and she was going home next? Why WOULD she try to help them win anything?

    As for karma…it will be short lived, as you can bet the producers will issue an invitation for a return trip.

  2. 2
    R2Dcups
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Yeah this episode was interesting. As much as I thought this is what I wanted this how I wanted it.

  3. 3
    R2Dcups
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Isn’t***

  4. 4
    zerocool
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

    Thank you for that pic!! I hate everything about Alicia…. and karma is a bitch.

  5. 5
    ChaCha
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Oh, please God, noooooo return trips!!!!!!

  6. 6
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Look how many times they inflicted Russell on us. Cruelty is their specialty.

  7. 7
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 10:33 am

    R2DCups, I agree with you. As wonderful as it was that the person left the game, it does suck when contestants leave for reasons outside of being voted out of the game. I realized that with that person gone, the game has opened up and I hope that Christina finds a way to make it to the end.

    As an aside, had the person stayed, I wonder if Christina’s plan with Jonas and Leif would have worked. Hopefully, Jeff will ask pertinent questions at the reunion, rather than focus inanely on tonight’s ousted contestant who didn’t even make the merge.

  8. 8
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 10:37 am

    That would be so unlike Jeff. I’m sure he will spend a great deal of time talking to Colton.

  9. 9
    Moli Moli
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 10:56 am

    I think watching Colon and Alisha berate Christina had to have been one of the worse things I’ve seen(and I watch a lot of reality tv)*doing Moli dance* for the loser

  10. 10
    randomnicole
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Colon and Alisha were so nasty! Christina is a way better person than I am, after all the shit they said to her.

    Shutting up now until the recap in case I accidentally spoil something.

  11. 11
    fancyface
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Yeah, I’m on team hollow victory on this one. I was dying for that hideous queen to leave the game but this doesn’t feel satisfying. I was hoping for a blind side as he sat in council buffing his nails as if he doesn’t have a care in the world because he just knew he was safe. Ughhh…at least he’s gone I guess. Now I can turn all my hatred toward Alicia. What a piece of cow dung!

  12. 12
    lindaw205
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 11:27 am

    What mean, nasty people Asswipe and Colon are! What is it Asswipe teaches? Bullying 101? That was plain uncomfortable to watch.

  13. 13
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Very true, Mr. D. I just am hoping for some actual pertinence, rather than the usual BS after we digest the winner and loser reactions and usual polling of the jury.

  14. 14
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Christina is a MUCH better person than I am, giving aid and comfort to the enemy like she did. I would have let him die, since who am I to question the powers of the universe?

  15. 15
    wow
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I’m pissed Karma didn’t finish the job…

  16. 16
    featherhead
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Boy oh boy, peachy could hardly hide his disdain for Alicia. I’ve never noticed him heckle a contestant during a challenge before, it was awe-some and well deserved. Cannot wait till the full recap is up.

  17. 17
    See-Jay
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Never have I seen such a flagrant display of karmic justice. This episode might have single-handedly proved the existence of God.

  18. 18
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    Alicia’s character is as nice as she looks in a bikini.

  19. 19
    jane
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I admit, loved yesterday’s episode, hate Alicia isn’t gone though. I’m not sure if I haven’t been paying attention, but I can’t remember why everyone hates Christina. She seems pretty decent. to me. Anyone?

  20. 20
    itchy
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Christina just seems kind of dim-witted to me. As far as the editing is showing, she’s doing nothing to counter the evilness of Colon and Abitchia. When that should be relatively easy to do.

    For that matter, both Jonas and Leif bother the hell out of me — they’re just wishy-washy floaters. Can’t wait until they get kicked out.

    I’m still satisfied with tonight’s episode — except I think there should have been an immunity challenge, which Manono would have lost. And then they could have done the merge — after Abitchia got voted out. Now she lives to scramble another day.

    Even though, in seasons past, didn’t they bring back the last eliminated contestant in a situation like this?

  21. 21
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    @Itchy, there have been several contestants who have been forced to leave the game out of medical necessity and the game just continues. I think, for an upcoming season, that Survivor should bring back all the people who were medically removed from the game (from Australia’s Michael all the way to Colton) and have them play the game since none of them have officially had their fire extinguished.

  22. 22
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    I wonder if a guy like Bruce would come back. I’m sure James and Jonathan Penner would. I think Mike Skupin has been asked and has already declined :( I can’t think of the others besides the two from this season …

  23. 23
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Arg, Russell Swan. That one was scary and I bet he definitely would. He seemed really into the game when he went out.

  24. 24
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Don’t forget Kourtney from this season, although I think she’s the only injury prone woman.

  25. 25
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Sue Hawk left after having her dignity injured by Richard Hatch’s bare pecker.

  26. 26
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    My favorite part of the episode was Jeff narrating everything as Colton lay dying on the ground.
    “You say his heartbeat has doubled? And cardiac arrest is imminent? Well, Colton, what will you do with idol?”

    Are we really to believe that Jeff helped cart Colton’s stretcher through the jungle? N-word please.

  27. 27
    Lurker
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    I agree with you, but what made it worse was that NO ONE had the balls to stick up for Christina. When Colton and Alicia were being so mean and talking so much smack everyone else just kept their mouths shut. I think it says a lot about who Jonas and Lief really are.

  28. 28
    featherhead
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Word See-Jay!! And I’ve noticed there has been no flagrant praying, fingers pointing in the air, etc. this season. Could it be (GULP), that God has decided to answer those viewers at home who have been asking for a little karma? All I can say is Amen!!

  29. 29
    Chicken Lips
    Posted March 22, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    I was trying to do some research with a friend today on Abitchia and where she works but shockingly their website was down. Probably from every person in America trying to check it out so they would know where NOT to send their kids.

  30. 30
    Jacquelyn Cuciti
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 6:41 am

    hahahahah – so true!

    best. comment. ever.

  31. 31
    Jacquelyn Cuciti
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 6:45 am

    If Alica was my child’s teacher I would pull my kids out of that class or school SO FAST! Never have i seen such a blatant display of bullying – it should be used as some type of “anti-bullying public service commerical” or something…..
    yes, everyone needs to be deceitful in this game – but there is not need to just be MEAN! I really would have wished they waited to merge another week or two so Alcia could have suffered and been sent home next week – I hate that she even has a chance to stay now…blah!
    And do they always merge after like 15 days? seems early to me… but i have not watched they last few seasons…

  32. 32
    moonshine
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 7:05 am

    After 15 days, shouldn’t they (and here i mean Abitchia) be thinner? If i remember correctly, in the earlier series (australia for one), the ‘survivors’ were shedding lbs after the first week. Also, apart from starting the fire the first or 2nd day, we don’t seem to see much food deprivation or desperation. Did it used to be tougher?

  33. 33
    SuburBint
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 7:05 am

    That’s a really good idea, Derek!

  34. 34
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 7:18 am

    Australia was pretty brutal in terms of location. Tina swam through that flood because that tin of rice was so important to them. I feel like beach seasons are a lot more plentiful by nature — the fish and crabs (if you can catch them), the coconuts ..

  35. 35
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 7:25 am

    So I just watched the Insider clips, and Colton totally does the pulling on your eyes gesture that people do when making fun of Asian people! I honestly just can’t with that guy … whatever it took to get him off my tv.

  36. 36
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 11:25 am

    She’s also one of those people who can’t enunciate. Words like “mountain” become “mow ehn.”

    Hate. Her.

  37. 37
    leslilly
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Normally, I would feel terrible saying this (because they are real people, not made-up characters), but not this time – I despise Alicia and Colton. To think that I felt bad for Colton at first, wow

  38. 38
    leslilly
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Exactly, Derek. I don’t understand how Jonas, Leif and the other guys didn’t stand up for Bill at Tribal Council as well. And they didn’t show any of them standing up to Colon. We know from that TC that Tarzan is also an asshole. It seems like the guys are really spineless this time around.

  39. 39
    leslilly
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    Oh I meant to reply to your post, Lurker, re: Jonas and Leif. I agree w/you. Who they really are seems to be disappointing. I was also extremely dismayed that none of the guys apparently stood up for Bill at that horrible Tribal Council a few weeks back.

  40. 40
    leslilly
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Whoops. I wrote my response under the wrong name.

  41. 41
    leslilly
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    That would be setting a new precedent, Catty. Every other player that went out for medical reasons wasn’t allowed to return.

  42. 42
    leslilly
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Where does Abitchia work? I found her “fan page” on fb. She’s disgusting. On CBS’ Survivor site, I noticed that both she and Colon remarked that they’ll do well in the game because they’re “good looking”. Yeah, ummm…ohhhkayyy.

  43. 43
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Spoiler alert (even though it’s already been “spoiled” above):

    Ding DONG the bitch is GONE,
    The wicked wicked bitch is GONE!

    Karma. My hero.

  44. 44
    itchy
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    It’s not technically a spoiler after the show has already aired.

    As a courtesy, it’s nice to avoid giving out the name of eliminated in the first couple of lines of a comment, because those lines might show up (briefly) in the side bar and someone who hasn’t seen the episode might get accidentally spoiled.

    Same thing with the headlines for the recaps/minicaps.

    But if you haven’t seen an episode yet, it’s up to you to avoid getting spoiled — I tend to avoid the internet until I’ve had a chance to watch (Google News sucks for this).

    As for the whole losing weight during the season thing — I’ve already chosen Christina as my pick for “most improved body” for this season, but yeah, after a couple of weeks, they all ought to be thinner.

    I’m just glad they got rid of Monica. She was already skeevily skinny. Another pound or two and those beach balls on her chest might have bounced right off.

  45. 45
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted March 24, 2012 at 11:15 am

    Totes agree with you, itchy, about the spoiler thing, but you know as well as I that some of the ‘cappers don’t like us to give anything at all away in the mini comments. Sooo I try to be good LOL. In this case someone above had already named names.

    Oh, and I also stay completely away from anything show related before I’ve seen an ep. Just makes sense to me :-)

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