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Monday, May 14, 2012
9:40 am
31 Comments
Tagged: finale, funny, It's just a game, jeff probst, pottymouth, recap, spoof, Survivor, tvgasm
Well Gasmi, we’ve finally reached the end. Of this season, anyway. I’m going to keep this minicap short because, well, between this one and Once Upon a Time, I’ve got four fucking hours of TV that I need to get to recapping!!!
My prediction of what I’ll look like by mid-week.
Anyway, now that Dr. PoopyPantyHead is gone, the ladies celebrate their girl power! By now everyone knows that it’s Chelsea and Sabrina vs. Abitchia and Christina, with Kim as the swing, playing both sides. I do have to give her props for successfully playing both sides without getting caught or burned by that.
It’s the finale, so no reward challenge this time; we’re heading right into an immunity challenge. This one involves untying ropes, running across a balance beam maze, puzzle bags tied to a giant net/trampoline gizmo, a puzzle, and another one of those combination box thingies. Confused yet?
Always.
I’m routing for Chelsea on this one because I am convinced if she does not win immunity, Kim is going to stab her in the back. HARD. And I like Chelsea so I’m hoping she can get to that final tribal council. Abitchia has a hilarious fuck up on this one and I could have punched Jeff in the nuts for pointing it out to her.
Shut. It.
In the end, it comes down to Kim, Abitchia, and Chelsea. Despite my yelling for her to win it from my living room, it is not Chelsea that pulls out the win, it’s Kim. Again.
Kim has a moment of regret later in the day when she finds out what happens when one of your allies knows you have the immunity idol and don’t need it for the last tribal council you can use it at. Did that sentence even make sense? Well, in my head it did.
Kim’s noncommittal about playing the idol for Chelsea so I’m more sure than ever she is going to send her ass home.
Come back in a few days and we’ll discuss stabbing and backs, laying down and dying, jury questions and nonsense, and bloaty fat reunion people who have probably destroyed their mom’s social lives!
Still an asshole.
See you there!
SWAK, PottyMouth
P.S. I’m gonna thank y’all in advance for your patience on this one; I’ve got a bit of an insane week, but I will get this and my other show recap done as quickly as I can without half-assing it! Love you, mean it!
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31 Comments
That top photo pretty much sums up my feelings about this episode — and the whole season.
You know what kind of season it was when I was actually sitting there, on the couch, rooting for Christina to win that last immunity challenge….. just so the show would be exciting.
The fact that Kim won was a no-brainer, but her wining “fan favorite” too, was way too much for me. I think she should have been generous enough to give that money to Tarzan to buy shocks for his car.
As for “Once Upon A Time”…… OMFG!!!! I just don’t see how they can top it next season.
Oh and your comment on Colton….. “Still an asshole, but a much chunkier asshole!” hahahaha!
I enjoyed the finale. Finally, somebody who “deserved” to win — won. It wasn’t one of those “under the radar,” shirttail types.
Why, why, why did they have to reinstate that stupid “fallen comrades” segment with remaining players reciting scripted lines at each station. I HATE that shit!
I always skip over the fallen comrades segment. Just makes a boring episode boringer.
@crankyguy – exactly!! All I kept thinking during that part was if somehow I became a contestant on Survivor and made it that far, I would refuse to do that. But if they made me, I would have said awful things about the ‘fallen comrades’. You know how they could tell exactly how many people paused/replayed with their DVRs during the Janet Jackson Superbowl thing, I wonder if they could figure-out how many people fast-forwarded through the ‘fallen comrades’.
My internet connection failed while watching the reunion. It happened right as Jeff was prompting that after the commercials, they would talk to Colon. I have never been so happy to have my internet fail. I think I will only be reading the recap of the reunion, not watching it.
I’ll hold my main comments for the recap but I will say that I was happy with the win. She deserved it.
I hate the fallen comrades scenes, the first half of the contestants I’ve all ready forgotten. I’ll watch like who…wait there was a red headed guy???? I swear they throw some dummy pics in there just to confuse everyone.
I thought it was an okay season. The teaser for next season was really good I am excited! Colton is such a little man cunt. Man I can’t stand him.
I was happy Kim won she earned it…& I agree with Chooch…not sure she should have gotten fan favorite though. And Troyzan is so full of himself. Dude you lost and well before final 3.
I caved and watched the rest of the Reunion. WTF? Everyone except Colon looks the same. No one gained any weight (again, except for Colon). Did Kat get new teeth? Colon better not be one of the three returning cast members.
I would pay for one of the remaining contestants to hold up a nameplate during the fallen comrades segment and say, “Who??”
And, Carol…you KNOW Colon is coming back. Yuck.
I hope Jonathon Penner is one of the people returning.
I really don’t think i can watch if Colon comes back. He’s disgusting, and did nothing to redeem himself at the reunion. Just because people insist they aren’t racist doesn’t make it so. Kim totally deserved the win, she played a great game. And just who is telling Troy he’s one of the greatest players ever in the game? Does he have imaginary friends? Seriously. He wasn’t that great. He went out, what, 8?
@Cattyfan, according to reality blurred, Jonathon Penner, Michael Skupin, and Black Russell will be returning to lead the three tribes next season.
@Mister D, I’m glad that strategic game play was rewarded, but even you have to admit she was playing chess while the rest of the cast was playing checkers?
I don’t believe Colon will come back. Even CBS recognizes what a nasty piece of shit this kid is, and how many many people will turn off the show with him on it. Besides, he wouldn’t last a week — he’d be voted off right away, since he has already established that he’s completely untrustworthy.
I enjoyed seeing Abitchia get her comeuppance. I do believe her about the special needs kids comment. But all the rest? What a delusional idiot. Hopefully she’ll take this as a life-learning experience too.
I was disappointed they didn’t linger on Chelsea at the reunion. But she seemed to fade away over the last few episodes anyway — just kind of petered out. It’s a shame. She played the Ethan Zohn gambit — if she’d been a little nicer to people, she might have been able to win.
Did anyone notice towards the end, when all of the contestants stood up, Colon’s fat gut poked out of the bottom of his shirt? What a disgusting person he is.
And STFU Blossom.
“And STFU Blossom”
No shit. And this whole chin implant fad has gotten way out of hand. Why does everyone want to look like Madame?
Don’t some people overeat when they’re stressed out? I’ll bet Colon has been stressed out, since he’s got to be very aware of how much bad vibes are being sent his way in spite of Blossom’s good wishes.
I thought she looked different (different as in uglier) since the last time I saw her, which was several years ago as Kirstie Alley’s next-door neighbor on Fat Actress. It was a chin implant that made the difference, eh?
@ crankyguy – Colton looks like he ate Leif – fat bastard can get off my TV right now. I pray that Survivor never lets him return!!
Most racists don’t think they’re really racist–Colon is the most obvious example. NO ONE wants him to come back even tho’ it’s pretty obvious that the idiot producers think he makes for “good TV.” Commenters on other websites concur with those of us here that they would hate for him to show up next season. I only hope the producers read these comments.
See the difference in Russel’s way of being a villain was always to win the game and the personal digs were never like that. His cut aways always talked about how he was trying to get further in the game. Where as colton talking about the munkin needs to return to oz was a cut away that was just nasty. I think a lot of it has to do with that he was allowed to get away with it for so long because many in Alabama probably excused it as him just being a giant queen, because their idea of gay men comes almost entirely from bravo. I know mine did when I lived in small town KY. Imagine my surprise when it wasn’t like that!
His poor mother. Even when she was apologizing to Bill man twat was making excuses for his behavior.
He got death threats after the things he said, you would think that would be enough to make him grow up but alas no.
Derek Hazelton:
I think Kim’s tribemates were smarter than flabby ass Boston Rob’s tribemates.
So, I will admit that Kim is probably a better player than flabby ass Boston Rob.
Ummmmm…..Kim’s tribemates were absolutely dumber than Rob’s. She wouldn’t have made it past merge if she had any real competitors against her. She was the only one that had any ambulance of game. Those other Isis were clueless & gladly handed over the check to her.
Er…ambulance= semblance & Isis= idiots…you get my point
Uh, Kim also has a better body than flabby ass Boston Rob and that’s coming from somebody who is an “admirer” of the male body.
Oh, and in an I.Q. test between Kim and flabby ass — uh, let me think, oh, yes — Kim would win that contest too.
Mr. D’s just bitter because Boston Rob bitch-slapped Russell.
Tell me, medical types, if Kat has had open heart surgery even once, let alone twice, shouldn’t there be a very obvious scar? I never noticed a scar.
Mr. D’s just bitter because Boston Rob bitch-slapped Russell.
We can still hope that Russell would destroy Boston Rob in a no-holds-barred, bare-knuckle cage fight. Some promoter needs to make that happen and put it on pay-per-view.