Ouch! Sekou sings on Survivor finale

Survivor

By Tabloid Baby | Sunday, December 17, 2006 | 11:00 pm | 4 Comments

sekou.jpg

This doesn’t count as a spoiler. Never mind who won. No matter whether Brad got to announce if he and JP are an item. We don’t care why Ozzie got so swollen. Check the Recaps for those details and the winner of Survivor: Cook Islands. We’re here to let you know that at about the two-hour-and-thirty-three-minute point of three hours of very fulfilling television, the song written and performed by first cast-off, Sekou Bunch was far more hapless and gloriously bad than we’d dared anticipated, relegated to a thirty-second bumper and a classic TV moment up there with Bill Murray’s lyrical rendition of the Star Wars theme. Despite all prior indications and our warnings, the song had lyrics, and was accompanied by a yellow-suited Ving Rhames-meets-Ruben Studdard performance the likes of which we haven’t seen since we staggered into Cleo’s Barge at Caesars Palace at three in the morning while working as a PA for the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

Yes, we will buy the download. Yes, it should be a ringtone. Yes, “Sekou sucks.” And yes, we still can’t decipher the second line:Everybody scream!

Whooooo!

When it’s time to say farewell

You are the (fam-ih-keh-freh????)

Are you ready for the game to begin?

You start to wonder if you stand a chance to win

Survivor!

Come on, everybody sing!

Survivor!

Come on, everybody clap your hands!

Survivor!

(Fade to commercial break.)

–Tabloid Baby

4 Comments

  1. 1
    JasonR
    Posted December 18, 2006 at 9:47 am

    That song was even more cringe-inducing than having to watch Billy squirm in response to the whole falling in love with Candice thing.

    Was it just me or was his song basically “Hello” from Lionel Ritchie with some god-awful new lyrics?

  2. 2
    Foxbase Alpha
    Posted December 18, 2006 at 10:08 am

    Don’t you mean Lionel ‘My daughter is an anorexic drunk’ Ritchie’s “All Night Long” instead?

    After only singing three lines of his dreadful song did Sekou ask everyone in the audience to sing along, when they clearly did not know the lyrics?

  3. 3
    LaSexorcisto
    Posted December 18, 2006 at 11:15 am

    This was so much worse than the Survivor song that crazy lady who looked like a dude sang a few seasons back (when they voted two people right off the bat)

  4. 4
    JasonR
    Posted December 18, 2006 at 11:53 am

    Foxbase, you’re right. I did mean “All Night Long”.

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