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Hello folks, it is me again, your humble J-Unit. B-side is still getting caught up, so once again, I get the nod to fill in for Survivor. Sorry for the tardiness, but I am dispatching this from an undiscolsed location in Las Vegas. Thankfully, I was able to post in the last few sober hours I will have this weekend.
I think if any of us had predicted a few weeks ago that Casaya would go on a three challenge winning streak, people would have thrown us into an insane asylum, most likely the one Shane just escaped from. Casaya is practically a juggernaut, and you have to admit that their combination of unmatched pettiness and determination in the challenges makes for one of the more enjoyable tribes that we have ever seen in Survivor. Nothing is better than when a tribe is always fighting but can’t be split up because they are doing too well in the challenges. But if La Mina could come up with a little winning streak of their own, they could even things up in time for the merge. As the way things stand, the post-merge politics should be some of the best in history. We have to wait for that sort of political intrigue, but we’ll always have Casa De Charmin, which is helping Bobby demonstrate a whole new meaning for “industrial espionage”.Coming off of their second tribal council in a row, I was sort of surprised to see all of the people who were upset that Ruth Marie had been voted out, and I am not just talking about Dan. Sally was proud to be the last woman standing on La Mina, but she was talking with Austin how much she missed Ruth Marie. Ruth Marie was nice, and she probably didn’t deserve to be trashed after she left, but saying that “Every day I spent with her, I was more and more amazed” is sort of pushing it don’t you think? OK, so I was more and more amazed by Ruth Marie as well. Every week I watched, I couldn’t believe how boring she was.
Casaya is still living large, but things could still be better. Bruce likes his tribe, but he believes that there is something missing, like a Zen rock garden. Admittedly, there isn’t much that Bruce does that I think is wrong, but I was really surprised at how much some of the other members of Casaya were pissed off that Bruce was off doing things on his own. They were all having trouble building a fire, and decided that the fire wouldn’t start because Bruce wasn’t out getting “good wood”. Aras, he’s a good guy, but he just doesn’t know how excited Bruce gets over Zen. If the Zen Garden doesn’t give Bruce “good wood”, I am not sure what will. All kidding aside, Bruce does a ton of work around camp, and if he wants to spend some time hauling rocks around, what is so awful about that? Just because Aras is pissed that Bobby, Danielle, and Courtney don’t do enough work around camp doesn’t mean he as to take it out on Mr. Miyagi.
You would think all of this fighting with Casaya would eventually affect their performance in challenges, but for some reason, they are always able to pick it up enough to pull it through. For reward, each team picked a member to wade out to a boat filled with supplies. After bringing one of the items back, they would throw it the next team member, until they reached the end, where the person there would put it into a storage box. The first two items were rice and beans, and the next six items were fish. The winner got to take all of the beans, rice, and fish back to camp, meaning they will be well fed for a long time.
Overall, the challenge was fairly easy, and the two teams were pretty even until we got to the fish. After the fish had gone down the line, the person at the end had to chop the head and tail off with a machete before throwing it into the box. Bruce and Terry were chopping the fish, and although I am sure Bruce could break like twenty cinder blocks with his forehead, he was having a little trouble chopping the heads off of the fish. It looked like La Mina was going to run away with it, and then a couple of things happened. First, Dan and Sally were having trouble with their pitch and catch, and second, Bobby got to work.
Since I am small-minded, I thought that Bruce would be good at chopping fish because he was Asian, and I thought that was something you had to learn even before you learned to walk. Perhaps if they were using a samurai sword, it would have been easier for him. Luckily, Bobby restored my faith in stereotypes, and he was able to wield a machete as well as anybody in any discovery channel special I have ever seen. He would raise his arm, and bring the knife down, chopping the heads and tails off with one stroke, unlike Terry and Bruce, who were using shorter strokes. Shorter strokes never work if you want to “get the head off”, a lesson half of the population learns at an early age. It probably helped Bobby to imagine that he was chopping off Courtney’s head, and with that motivation, he brought Casaya their fourth victory in a row. People complained about Bobby sleeping all day and busting deuces all night, but he really showed what you could do when you are well-rested and not constipated.
It was another sad loss for La Mina, and they once again lost Terry to Exile Island, although I am pretty sure he has no problem leaving. He was able to find the immunity idol, and he has no problem making fire or finding food. At least the people back at camp didn’t have to go completely hungry anymore. The producers, realizing that La Mina is really struggling, said that the losers of the reward challenge would get a chance to take home either the rice or the beans. Terry picked the beans, probably thinking that it would be a good idea for some of his teammates to get some protein, but the rest of his crew wasn’t so good at pacing themselves. They made a ton of beans, and Nick and Austin took it upon themselves to try and finish them. Well, we all know what happens when you eat too many beans; it’s not a pretty sight. Thankfully, Nick and Austin were there to give us plenty of detail on their problems whenever they would come back from having to “go again”. It seemed like they were leaving every ten minutes to do their business and times it was coming out “both ends”. They had no Casa de Charmin, so I hope for their sake there was no poison oak around.
Casaya was stoked about having all of their food, but when they got back to camp, they found that the whole thing had flooded. They had all of this food, but with there was no way they were going to be able to make a fire because there wasn’t any dry wood. They have a lot of tuna, so they decided they would cut it up and eat it like sashimi. Cirie was kind of worried, but Shane was chomping down like it was a prime rib. The water managed to flood the shelter, but it didn’t look like there would be enough room for Bruce and Bobby. I would have been slightly pissed, but Bobby was not worried. He grabbed his boy Bruce, a bottle of wine, and got his drink on.
Wow, I thought that Bobby would be completely immune from any sort of elimination, but when people start dipping into others’ wine, any sort of respect you might have gained from a good performance in a challenge will go out the window. The next day, as the tribe was waking up, they sort of wondered what happened to Bruce and Bobby. Cirie popped her head into the Casa de Charmin (without knocking, I may add) to find Bruce curled up in the corner, empty bottle of wine in his hand. I was sort of wondering if poor Bruce would have to take the fall for the missing wine, but that only would happen if Bobby somehow tried to place the blame on somebody else, but that’s not his style.
Courtney asked Bobby what happened to the wine, perhaps expecting him to sort of waffle about it and feel guilty about what went on. Instead, Bobby simply said, “I drank it”. Looking for a little bit more of an explanation, Courtney asked how Bobby felt about it and he replied “I feel swell about it”, which I guess means that Bobby gets just as much pleasure from drinking as he does dumping. Courtney was dismayed at Bobby’s lack of remorse and said that everybody worked hard for that wine, implying that Bobby had no reason to drink it without asking. Normally, I would agree with this position, but who the hell was Courtney to talk about working hard when A) she and Danielle were chosen to sit out for this challenge, so she shouldn’t be speaking for the scorned and B) Casaya was getting their ass kicked until Bobby came back and saved them by outdueling the strongest person in the game, Terry. Still, this would have been a good time for Bobby to apologize, but you can tell that he knows he is an outsider to the main alliance in the camp and doesn’t care what other people are saying.
I guess I can’t say that Bobby didn’t care what anybody thought, jut not what Courtney thinks. When pressed by Courtney to once again apologize, he said that he feels bad that he deprived the other people of win, but he doesn’t feel bad that he deprived Courtney of wine. Later in the one on one interview, he called Courtney one of the two or three most annoying people he knows in the world. Bobby’s a lawyer, probably knows a lot of annoying people, and we all know Courtney is annoying, so I may have to agree with him there.
This was not the type of momentum that Casaya wanted going into the immunity challenge, but they have had worse fights amongst each other, so this really isn’t that big of a deal when you think about it. The immunity challenge had the two teams putting together a puzzle made entirely of skulls! OK, it wasn’t that crazy, and I am sure the skulls were fake, but I haven’t used an exclamation point in a long time, so I wanted to throw one in there. I actually think it would be kind of cool to have a skull on my desk, but only if it a Buscheim preparation; they just look so cool. Anyway, the pieces to the skull puzzle were in coffins at the bottom of the ocean. The teams had to take a rowboat out, look underwater for the coffins, untie some ropes around them and take the skulls out. Once they had found all four pieces, they would come back, and the remaining members of their tribe would put the puzzle together.
La Mina looked determined and built up a big lead even though Dan hit his head on the bottom of the boat when he was coming up. I am glad that Danielle was forced to participate in this challenge, because we had some nice shots of her floatation devices, and it’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve seen them in action. Next time they bring back Survivors, I hope they choose Amy. Man, those were the days. Where was I? Oh yes, the immunity challenge. La Mina built a big lead and it looked like Casaya wouldn’t have a chance, but Casaya didn’t panic and caught up with La Mina. It looked like Bobby and Shane were going to be able to pull off another comeback, but La Mina did complete their puzzle, stopping their losing streak, and giving us another a couple of days to listen to Sally talk about how impressed she was with Ruth Marie.
As I said before, I thought that Bobby has secured himself immunity with his victory, but after the episode with the wine, people were talking about Bobby leaving. Shane wasn’t worried so much about the wine as he was that Bobby might defect to the other side once the merge set in. You have to like Shane’s instincts, because that is exactly what Bobby was talking about when he was getting drunk with Bruce. If Bobby made it to the merge, it would be possible for all of the younger men to be remaining, and by the looks of what is happening at both camps, there is a good chance they would all get together again. Aras might have been thinking about that possibility, because he wanted to save Bobby, but he said that he wanted to do it because he was worried about performing well in the challenges, and I would have to agree. La Mina made the mistake of getting rid of Misty, and they promptly lost three more challenges as a result. Casaya decided that Bruce should be next to go.
This little issue gave Casaya plenty of reasons to fight, not that they needed any help with that. Shane fought with Courtney, and Bruce gets into it with Courtney because she insists on doing yoga in the middle of his Zen garden, and says that she is so annoying, he would rather be on Exile Island than deal with Courtney, but Courtney was actually going to save Bruce. After Bobby disrespected her, she made it her mission to get rid of him. She, Danielle, and Cirie decided they want to get rid of Bobby, and they weren’t going to go along with the plan to get rid of Bruce. They told Aras and Shane the new plan, and this really pissed off Shane, which might sound surprising because Shane was the one who wanted to get rid of Bobby in the first place.
Since he thought Bobby was going to be safe, he decided that he was going to make a deal Bobby in order to gain some loyalty after the merge. Not knowing any other way to get Bobby to believe him, Shane once again decided to make a promise on his son’s life. You know, if you keep on making promises using your kids as collateral, eventually people aren’t going to believe it. Why don’t you bet a testicle or something? How about the left one? You only need one to survive in life, and do any of us really think Shane’s little travelers are even healthy enough to swim all the way up a vagina and get a woman pregnant? If you think quitting smoking is hard on your nerves, it’s really hard on the, you know, this entire discussion about Shane’s balls is starting to make me a little disturbed, so I think I will save the rest of you from anymore. But yes, I would tell Shane to put a nut or too up for grabs next time he wants to place a bet.
With Shane promising not to vote out Bobby, it was going to make for an interesting tribal council. Bruce was at his first tribal council, so he got his torch and Probst got down to work trying to get to the bottom of what made Casaya a “dysfunctional, functional tribe”, as Shane would say. And “bottom” is the key word. After asking Bruce to explain why he drank the wine, Bruce described not having a place to sleep until he heard that magical sound. “There’s a knock on the door, Bobby shows up with a bottle of wine”. OK, that’s not to bad, go ahead Bruce. “It’s two or three in the morning”. OK, this explanation makes sense so far. “My butt’s sore, and I could use a drink”. Whoa there! I thought Shane’s balls were a bad enough subject, but now Bruce is talking about his butt being sore at two or three in the morning, Bobby is at the door and he wants a drink. Well, I hope he brought you flowers first.
Bobby explains his part of the story and he is still very unapologetic. This time, Cirie explains that everybody worked hard on reward, and it was rude for Bobby to drink the wine without asking. Before people could start yelling at Bobby for too long, Aras came in and tried to defend his friend. He went on and on about how Bruce is too Bossy and he treats all of them like children. I agree with that assessment, but hey Aras, weren’t you the one crying because Bruce wouldn’t help you with the fire? If you wanted to be treated as an adult and not be lectured to why don’t you, I don’t know, do some shit for yourself? At this point, Danielle then went to bat for Bruce, saying that he is an older father figure, and should get some respect.
I really had no clue who was going to be voted out, and as the votes were read, I think everybody is confused. Usually, tribal council comes down to two names, but this tribal council was different. Not three, but four names were called, proving at least the “dysfunctional” part of the way Casaya is functioning. Bruce, Bobby, Aras, and Courtney garnered votes. Shane threw in a vote for Aras because he didn’t want to vote for Bobby after promising his son’s life away not to vote for him. Bobby actually ended up voting for Bruce even though he promised not to during their evening in Casa de Charmin and Bruce kept up his end of the bargain and voted for Courtney. In the end, Bobby was voted out. It was one of the more memorable collapses in recent history. I thought he was boring at first, but after the talk of dumpsters, dropping deuces, and his complete lack of interest in anything Courtney had to say, I sort of gained a little respect for him. Time will tell if Casaya is going to pay for their mistake, and it sounded like Bobby was going to be happy going back home to his family, composed of old blues singer Son House, and Garry Sheffield’s younger, fatter brother.
What did you think of this episode? Did Casaya make the right choice? Does Cirie have what it takes to make it to the merge?