Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Survivor

By admin | Friday, October 7, 2005 | 2:20 am | 66 Comments

survivor10-06-05c Well folks, B-Side is a little backed up these days. No, he is getting plenty of fiber – OK, I don’t know if he is or not, but the regularity I am talking about is TVgasm posts. With The OC on hiatus, I thought I would give hizzoner a little bit of a break and tackle a little bit of Survivor. Back in the days when I was less busy toiling away in the seedy underground of the entertainment industry consisting of machine rooms, fibre channel, and endless expanses of Avid, ProTools, Logic and Final Cut equipment, I used to like writing about Survivor; they even let me write about The Amazing Race now and then. But it’s clear that at this point I am not doing anything other than rambling a bunch of sentences so I’ll have what is considered a substantial opener. I guess I have distracted everybody enough, so let’s begin with a recap-type thing.First off, let me go out there and say to CBS that no matter how much they try to subliminally promote The Ghost Whisperer with that little bit of wording across the bottom of the screen, I am not going to watch that show, and I have a number of good reasons. First, I don’t want to admit that there is anything on television that we could keep me home on a Friday night; hell I wouldn’t stay in for Galactica, so I am sure not going to be doing it for JLH. Second, even in the world of Tivo where I could watch Ghost Whisperer on Saturday, still hung over from Friday night, if the promo doesn’t involve those juggs is not going to have my tacit approval. I know who is going to be having the better career!. Wow, we are exactly fifteen seconds in the episode and I have done nothing to combat the notion that I am fixated on young women with perky boobs. Oh well!

But seriously, lets get on with Sruvivor. This season has been absolutely brutal. Try to think of the number of things you would rather do than be a contestant for Survivor: Guatemala. I stopped somewhere around “Would rather watch John Goodman wax his ass” before I started to realize just how bad this is. In case you didn’t know, we took a visit over to the Nakum tribe. Although they had one the excruciating Mayan game/death wish the day before, they were all pretty slammed. Even though they didn’t have to send anybody home, they really couldn’t do much to celebrate other than lay around and pretend they weren’t thinking about how famous all of this was going to make them.

And then there was the heat! My God! The heat! If it wasn’t 104, it was 114. But of course as any person from the south-”but it’s a dry heat”-west will tell you, it’s the humidity that kills, and being in the middle of the rainforest, you are pretty much assured that it is going to be fairly humid. Then again, this shit happens every year. They can’t find food, they can’t stay cool, their bodies are slowly breaking down from their meticulously-sculpted “please put me in an American Eagle catalog” physiques. When I was just a little baby growing up in the rainforest, we somehow managed without electricity, and when the only protein that day was some caterpillars, we cooked them and LIKED them. Actually, my mom says I always hated them, which just goes to show you what a smart little kid I was. Not yet two years old and I was already learning the prejudices of Western society. Sweet.

It’s heat, not the plague.

Enough about me though, the tribes really have a lot of problems, like the Mosquitoes. Judd said that it was like that movie with the Killer Bees. I am not sure what they were talking about, because Wu-Tang has only really made music videos and the Houston Astros could only make a movie about how to suck once you get to the playoffs. The bugs segment does bring us a bunch of glimpses of that oh so sexy raw skin that looks like Randy Johnson and Edward James Olmos had children.

Yaxha had lost the last challenge, making Stephanie start to wonder if she was the common denominator in all of those Survivor challenges each and every team she has been on suffers. To take their mind off of bad things, Rafe and Gary decided that they would fish, making themselves a finely tuned fishing machine. Considering that they were proud of being able to catch 1/2 ounce minnows three or four at a time, I think they should turn their finely tuned machine off of the “Malnourish Me” setting and point the dial to “Fat like a Veal Calf”, or at least “Lean and Mean”. Malnourishment? That sucks.

What is everybody’s take on Stephanie? You know, I thought she was hot at first, but god I wish they took the Jersey out of the girl when they took the girl out of Jersey. At one point, she belted out this god-awful “Oh my gaaaawwwwwwddd” like she was Fran Drescher doing a bad impersonation of Fran Drescher, but I guess you could say she had good reason because there was this huge crocodile in the middle of the lake. Her tribe was mainly jealous at how this truly fine tuned fishing machine was able to glide through the water and chomp down Lydia-sized fish with seemingly no effort at all. We then got this little scene of everybody waiting by the edge of the water like the crocodile was going to get them. And indeed, Jamie gave a shout, but it was just a fish that bit him, which means he will have to eat about ten of them before he replenishes the calories that he just lost.

When it came time for the reward challenge, we saw that perhaps the producers had a sense of how brutal all of the challenges and the, you know, lack of potable water was doing to everybody so they decided that everybody was going to sit around and get rewards for basically no work. Jeff would ask the tribes a number of questions, and they would have to answer with the name of the tribe member they though most fits the circumstance. For instance, if he were to ask “Who looks like Corey Feldman during his arrest for heroin in the early nineties? Especially if he had a love child with Evan Marriott of Average Joe[that should obviously be Joe Millionaire. I am an idiot. thanks realiTV fan]?”, the answer would be Jamie[picture] Whichever tribe member got the most votes would win a prize. It would probably give a number of tribe members some good insight into how their team views the, but since both tribes were right across from each other, it would also let the other team see how they were perceived as well.

survivor10-06-05b The first question was simple enough, asking Yaxha and Nakum which tribe member was most in need of nourishment. Jamie and Danni were voted the winners and for their troubles, they each got to eat an apple. Not too bad of a prize, but you did have to wonder what was coming up next. The second question turned out to be an interesting one, having the tribes pick who was the smelliest. It’s probably not the kind of recognition you are trying to get from the people you live with, but one that is obviously hard to deny. Gary and Bobby Jon won and were rewarded with soap, shampoo, and five gallons of water to shower. It was nice that they were able to clean themselves up right there, but don’t you think a nice before and after shot would have been sufficient? Did we really have to have that gratuitous full-frontal shot of Gary, even blurred as it was? The most amusing part of this question was that you knew that somewhere out there, Ian is still has a good millennia worth of showers before dogs will stop sniffing his butt and pissing on his leg.

The real prize came with the next question, which so naturally flowed off the mouth, i.e., which two people would most deserve a picnic on top of a Mayan ruin. Gary and Amy were chosen from Yaxha and Margaret and Judd were chosen from Nakum. Chuck’s smelly ass would now be clean and well fed. They all thought that Jeff was playing a trick on them and would open up the picnic basket to reveal a bunch of bugs or the intestines and/or testicles of some Central American wildlife. Alas, they were all spared a bunch of grief when Jeff revealed fried chicken, potato salad, chocolate chip cookies, and ice tea. And they wouldn’t be allowed to being the food back, so there was no need to be guilty about eating it all themselves.

After the four survivors took off to their little corner of the world, the final question was revealed. The question of who had the most team pride went to Brian and Cindy, and for their win, they would be immune when the tribes got shaken up. Yes, that’s right, we already have a tribe shakeup. Bobby Jon, Blake, Brandon and Danni went to the Yaxha and Rafe, Lydia, Steph and Jamie went to the new Nakum. When the people on the picnic returned, they would each return to their original tribes.

With the new split, the tribes returned to their respective corners of the jungle. When Yaxha returned, they found out that there was some fruit awaiting them, which I guess is their reward for Brian having so much tribe pride. Brian must have been excited at his new tribe because, let’s be honest, Yaxha now has the athletic advantage, but he was well aware that it is a numbers game, and if the new group of studs didn’t perform, they would likely pick him off along with Gary and Brian.

survivor10-06-05e When Amy and Gary returned, they shared similar feelings to Brian. You can’t help but like your new tribe, plus they don’t have to deal with Lydia any longer, but Amy knew that it would be a numbers game as well, and she was worried that if they caught wind to how bad her injury was, and the verdict was in and it said she stuffed a softball above her ankle and she wouldn’t be full-strength for along time. Bobby Jon and Blake, showing that all great deals are made in the bathroom and not the boardroom, confirmed that Amy would be the first to go, but Amy would be glad that she wasn’t going to be eliminated first because of her injury, but because she was a woman. Next would be Brian because he was too effeminate, and clearly is not man enough to vote a woman out based on gender alone. Last to go would be Gary, mainly because he took a shower with, and because he once again reiterated that he wasn’t a football player. But how can you trust the judgement of people who shake on a deal while in the bathroon, and DON’T WASH THEIR HANDS?

Almost everybody who learned about the tribe shuffle was pretty wary of the change, and everybody was really worried about the new configuration and were staying loyal to the people who were in their original tribe. Well, everybody except for Judd. When Judd returned, he was ecstatic. He knew that Margaret would be a target and with most of the manly men moving off to the other tribe, he wouldn’t have to worry about “male tosterone” influence. God, where do they find people this stupid? Did Judd’s mom spend her first trimester removing asbestos from old buildings or testing paint for lead or something? And why wasn’t he worried that there would now be a strogen influence with all of the women around?

Steph and Jamie started to strategize. And I feel it is my duty to take this time to talk about just how much it makes me cringe every time I see one of these scenes on the pyramids. God, just the thought of some great anthroplogical find being ruined because of somebody put their ass in the wrong place or the film crews needing better lighting just pisses me off. But if the government of Guatemala says it’s OK, I guess I have to live with it. I just hope that Burnett goes back to spoiling nature, like God intended every enterprising individual to do.

Anyway, the strategizing – Steph and Jamie quickly identify Judd as easily swayed and start to buddy up to him. Judd isn’t exactly what you would call a “strategicalist”, and is naive to believe that he is simply going to make his team better by helping everybody get rid of Brooke. Yes, Brooke is weak, but hey, did you notice that you still have a fishmonger on your team? Did you notice that she hasn’t been ripping it up? At least you could look at Brooke, close your eyes, and imagine yourself stimulated enough to think about sex with her without having to dry heave once you see her naked. It might not win you challenges, but it would sure help you pass the day.

There would be no rest for the weary in the immunity challenge. With each team able to take advantage of a little mini-feast after the switch, they were both prime to go. For this challenge, the teams would row the familiar outrigger canoe past three buoys. At each buoy, the teams would pause to untie a bag of wait for it… Mayan war clubs. Next, they would row back to the shore, untie their bags, and try to throw the clubs at three different ceramic plates distanced thirty, forty, and fifty feet away. The only rule was that nobody could smash more than one plate, but you were able to change who was throwing on your own.

Although Survivor challenges basically break down into several typical styles, with the “row your boat out, bring something back” challenge a frequent participant, the editors always do a good job of making these things look close, even when there really isn’t a question of who is going to win. In this case, there was no need for anybody to fake anything, because the teams were close for a good portion of the race. You would think that Yaxha would have a slight advantage with more people to row, but that was not the case as Nakum got off to a good start, and employing a bit of strategy that is not often used in these games, bore down on Yaxha, giving a cry of “Ramming speed” (why do I always do a Sean Connery voice in my head when I say that? try it yourself, it’s fun) and then hitting the other boat, knocking them off course and preventing them from getting to the second bag. Nakum was returning with the third bad while Yaxha was still on their way to the second bag.

Nakum made it back to the beach first, and they were first to get their bags open as well, but with any throwing game, there is always a chance that one person will take a long time and let another person catch up. Since one person could throw all of the hammers without switching to another person, there was nothing to keep somebody who sucked from giving another player a chance besides some loud words and peer pressure.

Steph was first to go up, and I have to say that besides her sucky Jersey voice, I think that the store where she bought her bikini needs to be burned down, but picking a bad bikini is not necessarily a Jersey trait, so I guess I can’t hate on her that much. Besides, she quickly was able to break one of the plates. Although Danni broke hers not much later. Judd was up next, and although he was having a hard time hitting one of the plates, he wasn’t going to let anybody sub in, even when Yaxha started to catch up, he wouldn’t give up. He early said that it was his jungle, and he was determined to prove that was indeed a FACT. At first he thought he would show all of the new women in his camp (both of them) what a man he was by quickly breaking the last plate, but that became too difficult and he went back to the middle plate. He eventually was able to get the job done, but not before Yaxha was ahead. Yaxha was able to complete the task ahead of Nakum and won immunity.

Wow, look at that, Steph lost ANOTHER Survivor challenge. I wonder if Burnett is going to give her the option of staying on until she raises her batting average a little bit. The strategizing really comes into force after the immunity, and it was clear whom each side was voting for. The four original Nakum were so sure that a few of them talked about getting rid of Lydia right in front of Rafe. Now you can argue that it wouldn’t have mattered if they said it in front of Rafe or not because Lydia is the obvious choice, but knowing that you really don’t have numbers, wouldn’t you try to maybe win some votes, and not project what you are going to do?

Looking pretty good Ripley

Again, the only person who was really wavering in their commitment was Judd, and Margaret and her Sigourney Weaver “Alien transitioning to Ghostbusters” hair tried to get him to think about the numbers. She saw him socializing with Steph and Jamie and knows he doesn’t like her, so he tries to make it nice and easy for him. You can’t trust anybody, their loyalty means nothing, they’ll use your strength as long as it is convenient, and then will vote you off like anybody else. Judd almost seemed to grasp the concept and told Margaret that she got his wheel spinning. At this point, I imagined that Judd hat a little hamster wheel in his head that powered his brain. The hamster probably died years ago, but every now and then, the tides shift and the wheel moves, stimulating just enough synapses for Judd to put together several sentences and perhaps provide multiple consecutive moments where he is lucid enough to be considered “not in a coma”.

TVgasm Exclusive! Inside Judd’s brain.

At tribal council, it was clearly between Brooke and Lydia. BTW, does anybody else think that Lydia is really a human troll doll? The face, the hips, she needs to work on the hair, but she has got it down pretty well. Jeff started things off by asking Stephanie if he thinks she is bad luck when it comes to challenges. She was 1 for 7 during this season, which made her 4 for 21 in her total Survivor history. She’s like a cooler or something. Doing the math, she has actually *lowered* her Survivor average since getting to Guatemala, and considering she was already flirting with the Mendoza line beforehand, that’s not exactly a good thing. Saying you average 190 isn’t that great unless you are playing on a par 200 golf course.

As always, Jeff asked the really good questions, asking Margaret if she felt people would stick together. Not wasting any time, Margaret immediately called out Judd for hanging out with Jamie and Steph. Given a chance to respond, Judd sounded like somebody who was thinking that he would very calmly respond to his accusers statement by staying calm so people wouldn’t think that he is lying, but of course in the midst of being calm, these idiots end up rambling on forever making no sense, and in no time, people realize they are lying because they seem like they are just rambling to stay calm.

survivor10-06-05i Everybody said what they needed to say, or at least had said all that Jeff could stand listening to, and they proceeded to the vote. You knew it was going to be very close, and might even be a tie between Lydia and Brooke. True to Survivor style, Jeff read the names, let Lydia get ahead a little bit before bringing Brooke in for the tie and then the victory, or the loss, as it were since she was being voted off, not voted in. It was obvious that somebody had voted for Brooke to go home, and since it wasn’t Cindy, Brooke, or Margaret that did it (not to mention her name was spelled incorrectly) it had to be Judd. In a biting last word, Jeff mentioned that the shuffling of a tribe is a good time to switch allegiances, but each time you switch it makes you harder to trust. SLAM!

What did you think of the episode? Which tribe now has the advantage? Was it wise to send Brooke home this week?

Comments (66)
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66 Comments

1

ktro

Posted October 7, 2005 at 4:37 am

I don’t watch survivor usually – but I love tvgasm so thanks for the opportunity to say this:

What in the hell is with Steph’s? Eyebrows?!?

I was flipping through the channels and was suddenly tranfixed by the eyebrows that surely must be a parody of Cruella DeVille’s!
2

Jenny10girl

Posted October 7, 2005 at 5:32 am

BRAVO ktro…I thought I was the only other person that noticed her wacky eyebrows!
3

hannahthehun

Posted October 7, 2005 at 5:40 am

KTRO- her eyebrows looked that way last season, too. Most people when they see how they look on tv will fix the weird stuff. I liked Steph last season, but now it’s kind of funny to see her losing streak continue. Especially since she complains about it so much.
4

America's Next Top Fan

Posted October 7, 2005 at 5:55 am

Steph’s eyebrows must be tattood on. They just don’t move, even when she frowns.

Bobbi John has to be the most insane person in the world. His eyes scream serial killer. If I was Blake I would never take a piss with Bobbi John standing behind me for fear of BJ stabbing me in the back with his penis.

Clearly the best, most challenging survivor in quite a while.
5

Jeff

Posted October 7, 2005 at 6:03 am

The challenge designers have gotten so lazy now. Every immunity challenge involves getting in the canoe and retrieving something.
6

Siege

Posted October 7, 2005 at 6:20 am

I think that the reason there are so many “paddle the canoe out and grab ____” challenges this season is that there can be no swimming challenges, no wading challenges, no challenges that involve falling in the water–crocs, (or alligators–I’m still not sure) you know. Though it would make great television, I doubt Burnett is willing to risk forcing someone to do something that could get him or her eaten (of course, if they do it on their own…well, that’s a different story…)
7

Paulie

Posted October 7, 2005 at 6:49 am

“And then there was the heat! My God! The heat!”

Excellent Elaine Benes/Seinfeld reference.
8

Seang

Posted October 7, 2005 at 6:50 am

Wow…I love how you guys are even too stupid to figure out that Judd was clearly playing her. He isn’t dumb, but he’s a horrible actor – which draws me to the conclusion that YOU must be dumb in thinking he was seriously considering Ripley’s attempts to sway him.
It’s called editing.
It was so obviously going to be Brooke because Judd wasn’t going to vote with his team – he knew it, Riply knew it, the entire tribe knew it…so how come you guys didn’t know it?
He’s clearly the best player on the show right now.
9

Fill

Posted October 7, 2005 at 7:00 am

Seang
you are kidding me
the best player on the show let’s see then he will be send home by Stephanie

what he did I call syndrome Hawie from BB6
they are not going to protect him if they will lose all challenges
10

jack

Posted October 7, 2005 at 7:34 am

loved the cross-section of judd’s brain, but i agree with seang–judd’s mind was made up; nothing margaret said was going to change it.

and while brooke seemed pretty cool, she kind of deserved to get booted, since didn’t seem to have done much to protect herself.

judd’s move might have looked a little dim-witted, but i think it was the right call. if he stayed with his old team, he’d have been 1 guy with 3 girls he doesn’t seem to get along very well with. he’s better off with steph and jamie, who are much more likely to value brawn over team loyalty.

how screwed is gary?!? danni knows EXACTLY who he is–she even knew he played college ball at CMU!! the look on his face when she dropped that detail on him was priceless.
11

MARIANA

Posted October 7, 2005 at 7:59 am

“God, where do they find people this stupid?”..answer:ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
12

realiTV fan

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:00 am

One thing… wasn’t Evan Marriott on Joe Millionaire, and not Average Joe? Wow, how horrible is it that I know that?
13

suebee

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:01 am

Judd’s eyes were so big at tribal council when he was lying. He really looked stupid then.

And Margaret’s boobs looked like pancakes hanging from her chest.

Gary’s lie has to come out. I hope Danni starts voicing her suspicions and everyone turns on him.
14

janie

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:21 am

Just a few thoughts:

What was up with Jeff’s crap-spewing at Steph last night? What’s up,did he make a play for Steph first last season before going for Julie? And Steph turned him down. Is this revenge?

Gary’s really stupid when he said “I attended CMU, but didn’t play ball there.” Geez Gary just say I didn’t GO THERE!

And lastly, is it just me or is Margaret getting younger? Did she happen to stumble upon the fountain of youth?

Don’t feel bad RealiTV fan, I said the same thing about Evan Marriott. Maybe we’re spending just a little too much time watching reality tv. LOL
15

callygirl

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:21 am

MARIANA, haven’t you ever heard about what happens on the international versions of reality shows? There are stupid people in many countries lining up to be on reality shows!
16

BritainsMom

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:22 am

Ok Im compelled to comment:

The picnic deal… Surely they WERE trying to do someone in with that. I mean, why else would you feed people potato salad that had been sitting out in 114 degree heat?
17

LoveTheSteph

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:34 am

If I were Danni I would simply say “I am a freaking sportscaster, I know for a fact that you were an NFL quarterback”. Done and Done. Or she should just start talking smack about Gary the NFL quarterback and see if eventually he blows and defends himself.
These people are so passive, at this rate Steph mide as well say “No, I’m not the Stephenie from the last Survivor” and just stick to it.
18

Todd

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:55 am

I believe even more than ever now that Danni has been fed this information by Survivor because of her profession…Why on earth would she know the college of a career back up that retired when she was 14!! its not like CMU is notre dame or anything either….
19

Pooch

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:55 am

The single most homo-erotic Survivor ever–between full frontal shots of Gary (couldn’t it have been of Bobby Jon?), to Blake and Bobby Jon pissing side by side (you KNOW they were sneaking peeks at each other’s Immunity idols) to Brian checking out Blake and Brandon and Bobby Jon…

What is next? Survivor: West Hollywood?
20

HRHAli

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:57 am

Great recap as always. Was just checking the bios on CBS and it seems that there are 3 team members with identical twins…hmmm wouldn’t have thought the odds of that were so high (Cindy, Judd and Jamie). Maybe a “BB” switch is coming up, that would bite!
21

joyfulchicken

Posted October 7, 2005 at 9:02 am

What’s wrong with Bobby Jon and Blake? There must be tens of thousands of trees in that forest. Why couldn’t they just each pick a different tree to pee on? Sheesh.
22

Jake

Posted October 7, 2005 at 9:21 am

Mariana – Nice agenda you’ve got there. Just a couple of days ago you were chiding us “sad Americans” and saying “how ashamed we should be” on the Amazing Race board. If you just want to bash the USA I’m pretty sure that there are better places to do it than our reality TV show message boards.
23

mac

Posted October 7, 2005 at 9:27 am

Did anyone else notice that Lydia’s eyebrows aren’t looking so hot either? Her’s and Stephs both drive me insane!
24

cones

Posted October 7, 2005 at 9:50 am

“Judd sounded like somebody who was thinking that he would very calmly respond to his accusers statement by staying calm so people wouldn’t think that he is lying, but of course in the midst of being calm, these idiots end up rambling on forever making no sense, and in no time, people realize they are lying because they seem like they are just rambling to stay calm.”

You. Read. My. Mind.
25

Laurie

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:01 am

I am so glad other people were freaked out by Steph’s eyebrows.

My husband and I were saying they should do a “canadian wilderness” Survivor. You know, not so cold so that they’d get frostbite or anything, but chilly with rivers and trees and bears. Oh survivor with bears would be fantastic.
26

copygodd

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:02 am

why didn’t gary try throwing the war club? after all, he was a professional landscaper.
27

CindyLooWho

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:03 am

Nice recap. May I just say that I’m reading it at work and BUSTED OUT LAUGHING at the reference to Lydia as a human troll doll. I KNEW she reminded me of someone (or something), and no offense Lydia, but I’ll be damned if j-unit didn’t hit the nail on the head!
28

belinda

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:03 am

MARIANA –

Jake says it all! Let’s hope Canada welcomes your sorry ass.
29

jack

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:27 am

Todd:

I’m with you re: Danni being fed Gary’s history by the production team. I doubt most over-40 Cowboys fans could tell you where Hogeboom went to college. it’s possible that Danni is just one of those football freaks who knows the birth weight and shoe size of everyone who has ever worn an NFL uniform, but it looks fishy.

either way, Danni is not fooled–she’s just playing smart by holding her cards. When the time comes, she’ll use the info to protect herself, either by blackmailing Gary into an alliance or turning the others against him.
30

Jake

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:35 am

Thanks belinda.

Laurie, I think the idea of a cold weather Survivor would be interesting too, but this game is based on having model and actor wannabes (I’m sorry, I meant to say regular ordinary people) in tropical locations wearing next to nothing. Although I’m pretty sure we’d still be able to see Danni’s abs through a suit of armor, taking it to a cold locale would be messing with the formula. I think CBS is going to be wary of trying to tinker with a sure-fire ratings getter after The Amazing Race : Family Edition. I don’t know if the ratings are holding up, but I’d be surprised if they didn’t finish with one of their smallest audiences yet.

Todd – I’ve got to agree with you. Gary Hogeboom graduated from college and began his NFL career when Danni was four years old. He played for ten years and for three teams, none of which was Kansas City. I think they told her that someone on the show was a former NFL player and for some reason she figured out that it wasn’t Judd.

Speaking of Judd, I think he played it fairly well. Margaret broke it down for him saying they’d eliminate the old tribe one at a time and keep him on to the merge. I think that that idea was just fine with Judd. I may be giving him too much credit but I think it could be a workable strategy to get to the merge and back with his other teammates.
31

juddfan

Posted October 7, 2005 at 10:37 am

Thanks seang, I agree that Judd isn’t that stupid, and I do think he’s got a better chance with Jamie and Steph. Seems they have chemistry, and usually, following your heart leads to doom, but I do think Ripley and co would dump Judd in a hot second, so he’s in there fighting it. I do think Ripley, and everyone, knew fer sure he was switching sides. (I know I’d have been glad to lose BJ and Blake too)

I did love the gay-guy girl chat with Rafe back at camp–maybe Ripley will work on him next.

All I can say, I’m glad Judd will be there for more time–but I’m sorry for those that liked the Brooke eye-candy, she was so cute with those dimples, and a perfect butt!!! I didn’t think she was so weak either, but someone had to go. I’m glad Ripley made it too, even without Newt(blake) to tend too and seem needed.

Don’t know how I missed the bathroom shake, but hey, isn’t that what these fun and informative re-caps are for!!!!

Note to Judd, lose the sweat shirt, and go back to the skivies!!! LOL!!!
32

bonggargler

Posted October 7, 2005 at 11:29 am

I have to say as a football fan, that I think it’s entirely possible that Danni knows not only who he is but where he went to college, since at the start of EVERY football game, when they are announcing the lineup the football players themselves say where they went to college, when the screen shows their stats. And who knows, maybe her Dad was obsessed with football like my Dad and drilled the stats into her…
33

Todd

Posted October 7, 2005 at 11:45 am

Ok bonggargler….without google…describe Scott Brunner to me and tell me where he went to college. (no google!)

Look, I don’t doubt that the girl might have heard of him..MIGHT HAVE…but, there is no way she recognized him or knew where he went to school, that is the problem with this…football players in general aren’t that recognizable because of the helmets.

And the sportscaster thing doesn’t work either…its not like they test you on obscure football stats from the 80′s to get a sports radio show
34

ldini79

Posted October 7, 2005 at 11:58 am

not that it really matters, but it says that yaxha should have had a slight advantage with more people to row…that’s not right, is it? cause then the teams would be 8-6 now instead of 7-7, so it must have been nakum that had the extra person.

i am sad to see brooke go, but mostly because i voted for her in the contest. honestly, if i hadn’t picked her to come in 2nd, i wouldn’t have been able to pick her out of a crowd since she made almost no impression during her time there.

and maybe i am a freak for knowing this, but those aren’t tattooed eyebrows on steph, since they grew in all crazy like by the end of last season.
35

ldini79

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:01 pm

oh yeah and i completely agree with janie (#14), why on earth did gary admit that he went to school there? operation quarterjerk’s a clustermess!
36

copygodd

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:07 pm

did abs say where she went to school? cuz if she were a sports journalism major at cmu, she probably had to learn all about their sports alumni, which would explain her knowing gary…
37

bonggargler

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:09 pm

I think you are overlooking the fact that he played for the cowboys for 6 years. The cowboys were a huge very popular team, especially in the 80′s. I have a friend who doesn’t even follow football and she’s heard of Gary. And what do you mean they have helmets on? Are you trying to suggest that no football player could be recognized? That’s ridiculous. Brett Favre, Dan Marino, Joe Montana, Dante Culpepper. It would be one thing if he was a tight end or something, but the quarterback is the most recognizable.
38

mariana

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:09 pm

Jake and Callygirl: yeah you’re right.. americans are truly the brightest, most compassionate people on earth.. you’re God’s chosen people, yeah yah.. drop the patriotism and just look at ‘reality’.. i think it’s quite obvious how uneducated americans are (watch, i’m going to banned, right?) whatever.. at least Canada’s leader can speak and spell.
39

protegefox

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:12 pm

Holy Crap – J-Unit… did you make a reference to the Dana Carvey movie Opportunity Knocks. If you did – that is unbelievably awesome.
40

Todd

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:14 pm

Gary Hogeboom was a BACKUP in the mid 80′s…Hell, Tom Landry even messed his name up in the press conference.
Favre, Culpepper, Marino, et al, kind of a different class. Sure, you can recognize popular players, but guys who rarely started 20 years ago? not really. And like I said, she might have known the name, but he isn’t using his last name, so that kills that idea.

Bleh, Survivor totally set it up.
41

todd

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:17 pm

Marianna-
I will take my ‘terrible’ leader and you can keep your 50% tax rate…:)

And seriously, any country that gave us both Alan Thicke AND Bryan Adams has little room to talk.
42

HicksPub

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:19 pm

Mantosterone…my new favoritest word.

I like Judd…he’s dumb as a fox. I was nervous, however, when Judd was talking about everybody needing his vote. I was having major Christy (S6) flashbacks, as she was lying in a hammock, yapping away that she was the player with the power…and her ass was sent packing later that evening.
43

Fill

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:21 pm

mariana

don’t even start I’m Canadian as well you want to say all your coworkers and friends are very educated
some of mine are not, but I do respect them as they are
44

djo

Posted October 7, 2005 at 12:32 pm

And Gary is so unbelievable in his repsonses to the “Are you an NFL quarterback?” questions. Why can’t he be casual, make a joke about it; just say “Oh I get that all the time – people always tell me I look like him.” Something dumb like that and follow it up with a laugh. No – he has to get all stiff and weird and glassy eyed.
45

callygirl

Posted October 7, 2005 at 1:02 pm

Mariana, if you ever read about or watch reality shows from other countries besides the US, you will see that there are stupid people everywhere, just as there are bright people everywhere. No one country has a lock on either brains or stupidity, especially as manifested in reality shows.

Anyway, to discuss a legitimate topic, Danni has clearly been fed info on Gary. As others have pointed out, even a serious student of the game isn’t going to recognize on sight a backup quarterback from more than a decade ago despite how he’s aged and his use of a different last name. But she’s REALLY not going to remember exactly where he played college ball, especially when it’s not even a major football school (unless she went there too. That’s the only way I’d give it to her.)
46

Jake

Posted October 7, 2005 at 1:03 pm

Mariana – Neither I or Callygirl said that Americans were the brightest, most compassionate, or “chosen.”

I was simply pointing out that your comments belie an anti-American agenda. A point which you yourself proved for me with your last comment. America, like all countries, has it’s share of good and bad, smart and dumb, and likable and unlikable. Most of us come in here to chat about a TV show, which is pretty silly in its own right. We really are in here for a laugh or to talk about the players’ strategies. As I said in my first post, if railing against the US and spewing invective is your wish I’m sure you could find a better place to do it.

Hope you can relax a bit and have a nice weekend. JB
47

tomswift

Posted October 7, 2005 at 1:28 pm

Yeah Mariana like the Amazing Race board at the moment. Lots of Am bashing going on in there.
48

The Dogg Pound

Posted October 7, 2005 at 1:31 pm

Why do I have the feeling that Bobby Jon and Blake go to a lot of Braves games at Turner Field?
49

John B.

Posted October 7, 2005 at 1:34 pm

Oh, for Pete’s sake, nobody is bashing the US on the Amazing Race board. All that’s being said is that a “race around the world” usually involves leaving the damn country. We all like the US and it has a lot of great sights and history, blah, blah, blah. We’re just saying that they’re messing with one of the best reality shows around by adding kids and gearing the whole show down to them.
50

Mullethead

Posted October 7, 2005 at 1:58 pm

bonggargler: The players only call out their schools on MNF, not ALL games, and they just started doing that in the last few years. I am a football fan, I knew who Hogeboom was, cuz you never forget a name like that, but never knew his college, and I know a LOT of players’ schools who played in the 80′s (sorry Todd, even I don’t know who Scott Brunner is). My wife was a Cowboys fan and didn’t know who he was. Either Absofsteel was told by somebody, or she is a Central Michigan Alum. Most people don’t even know about Central Michigan being a school.

As far as the season goes, with the trend being, axe the attractive women first, Steph should be gone within the next two weeks.
51

usnrnpage

Posted October 7, 2005 at 2:20 pm

As for someone who made the comment about Danni blackmailing Gary in the future, regarding her information. Would have been much more effective if she would have kept quiet with this little tidbit and used it to her advantage later on.

Britian, I had to laugh at your comment, as I thought the same thing when they showed the potato salad. It brought me back to what my mom told me as a kid. “Do not ever eat potato salad or any salad made with mayo at a picnic EVER!” Lol
Next weeks preview shows Maggie calling Judd out about his voting decision. I feel that she should keep quiet and agree with his decision, go with the new majority. It will get her further in the game.
52

SaveFerris

Posted October 7, 2005 at 2:26 pm

Mariana,

Looks like someone was denied entry to live in the USA!! Good luck next time!
53

Liz

Posted October 7, 2005 at 2:33 pm

Um, hasn’t anybody noticed the eyebrows of the entire freakin’ female gender in the United States? Please make it stop. Give me Brooke Shields circa Blue Lagoon any day.
Gary the Quarterjerk is such a moron. What’s he trying to pull? “I went to CMU, but I didn’t play.” Ok, Loser. I hope he wins the next Chap Stick challenge. I’m gonna wretch just thinking about his crusty beak!
Now the real tricky guy is Judd. He may have fooled those bufoons, but not me. I know that he is Peter DeLuise, of 21 Jump Street and Dom DeLuise is my dad fame. Nice try “Judd”.
I don’t like any of these people very much. I kinda like Lydia. Why, I think I might like to be a fishmonger. It has a nice ring to it. How come everyone is so down on her? Everyone just seems pretty bland and hard to give a shit about.
Sorry if I repeated anything, I couldn’t read the previous posts.
54

EROSion

Posted October 7, 2005 at 8:51 pm

Is it wrong for me to love Margaret’s flappy left boob, post-piss handshakes, mantosterone, and Bryan Adams?

I too am a Canucker, but I can’t complain about all the American stupidity being broadcast 24 hours a day on my TV because I enjoy it to no end.
55

TWilliams

Posted October 7, 2005 at 9:34 pm

Mariana, sorry, but get over yourself. To say that reality television is a true depiction of the average American is ridiculous. These people want to be on television and want to be famous. What do they say about the people interviewed on the nightly news — isn’t it the idiots that gravitate towards the cameras for interviews? It is the same for these shows. Some of these people actually want to play the games that they are on, but others are simply idiots. Maybe the reason you don’t see as many “idiots” in Canada is that our population is more than 10 times the size of yours — or people like you ran them off to our country.

I cannot stand Gary but why would he say he went to THAT school? “Yes, I went there, but I didn’t play football.” WTF? Danni knows for certain that you did now. Danni has never come out and said Gary’s last name on camera yet — he is telling us that he is using a different name but the two have never been thrown out there together. Does anyone even remember what he is saying his last name is?

I also do not like Lydia. Her evil pics from tribal council after narrowly avoiding elimination creep me out. Go home or just go swim with the fishes (and get eaten).

Is Rafe HONESTLY a “wilderness guide” because he hasn’t impressed me with any wilderness knowledge yet. Him bragging about Gary and himself catching fish — sorry, but wasn’t Gary the one doing all of the work? Someone posted last week that he is a “genius” and had a near pefect SAT; but come on . . . I know fifth graders a bit more knowledgable.

Lastly, do you think that Jamie and Steph would be more likely to keep Judd around instead of Lydia and Rafe? I can see them keeping him over either of those two.
56

gt

Posted October 7, 2005 at 9:42 pm

To join some of the dumber posts up here – here’s mine…. there’s one thing that has been bugging me so far, does Gary have chewing tobacco in his mouth half the time? His bottom lip looks like he’s got a “pack of chaw” in some of his interviews.
Also to add fuel, I knew the name Hogeboom – wasn’t sure what he looked like but I thought I remembered he was a regular quarterback for the Cowboys…so it’s possible
57

Victoria

Posted October 8, 2005 at 12:55 am

I HATE when they switch up the tribes! I’m just glad most of my faves ended up together. I do wish Margaret had ended up on the new Yaxha. I was liking Judd, but not anymore. Moron! Why is everyone so scared to have a tie vote? Why would he belive Steph and Jamie would make an alliance with him over Rafe and Lydia? The votes have been way too predictable so far. Someone brought up that 3 of the survivors have identical twins: well Jamie’s twin is named Ramie! How terrible is that?
58

Robert

Posted October 8, 2005 at 8:40 am

It completely blows my mind that there are actually people responding that Judd isn’t that dumb… he’s just PLAYING DUMB??? Are you freakin kidding me? Obviously these viewers are the same morons who put our current idiot in the White House. Please, all of you people who think Judd is bright, on NOV 3, 2008… please stay home!
59

jim

Posted October 8, 2005 at 12:17 pm

i don’t think judd’s smart or even playing smart, per se. but, be it by strategy or dumb luck, he made the right choice. margaret has asserted herself as the leader of her original tribe alliance, and she and judd have been at odds for a while. he had no reason to expect any more loyalty from margaret and the original nakum girls than from steph and jamie.

and, by the way: what’s the tie-breaker procedure these days? if they still pull rocks out of a bag, it makes no sense whatsoever for judd to risk pulling the ‘purple rock of death’ to protect brooke.

brooke and margaret seem a lot smarter than judd, but they didn’t seem to make much of an effort to pull a vote from the other side. instead of targeting lydia, they should have recruited her by offering her some sort of deal.

judd’s a knucklehead, but he is at least smart enough to understand that survivor is not a team sport. his strength makes him valuable on a team with only two and a half men (sorry, rafe) against a team with four strong, athletic men and danni, who is as tough and smart as stephenie.

dumb, but not stupid.
60

TWilliams

Posted October 8, 2005 at 1:27 pm

I agree — “dumb but not stupid.” But that can be said about several of the contestants.
61

Lubin Odana

Posted October 10, 2005 at 4:32 am

Stephanie is the unluckiest player in Survivor history – I suspect they realised she was on a weak team, so they messed round with the teams to give her a fighting chance and she still somehow ended up on the team with the weaker/stupid contestants – back to tribal council again.
62

chacha

Posted October 10, 2005 at 8:56 am

Back to Dani outing Gary – she is from Kansas – there are two major football teams that KS people root for – KC Chiefs and Dallas Cowboys (depending on the part of state you are from) and many follow both. As a fellow native of KS I know that we are raised all things football (as baseball isn’t even worth mentioning) and with Dani having all brothers and in the sportscasting field I find it highly likely that she knows Gary. Plus, the girl really likes her football as evidenced by her shirt, hate and NUMBEROUS mentions of football and the Chiefs (GO Chiefs!)
63

juddfan

Posted October 10, 2005 at 5:03 pm

Poor Judd . . . guess I’m the only fan of the poor guy. I never said he was an intellect, but jeesh! He simply likes Steph and Jamie better, does it always have to be strategy. In the end I’m not sure how faithful they’ll stay, but as a tribe, I could see he and Ripley outliving Lydia and Rafe (who must be the two weakest now–isn’t Rafe arguably weaker than Lydia–he couldn’t even climb the ladder in that spider web challenge!) Plus, after the merge, all the strong players will be vulnerable, and at that point, Judd, Jamie and Steph (and maybe Danni) could team up to keep the strong. If Steph wants to win this time, she’s gonna have to work it from every angle!!! though I do think the clever way the tribes were split was done to protect Steph (call me crazy!!!!)
64

tv freak

Posted October 11, 2005 at 3:58 pm

I can’t believe nobody noticed the monkey-Judd editing. I was waiting for a shot of Judd talking, followed by the monkey licking his balls.
65

Packhouse

Posted October 12, 2005 at 12:55 pm

I don’t know if you guys knew this or not, but it seems this will be Probst’s last season: http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Kristin/Trans/Archive2005/051010b.html
66

juddfan

Posted October 14, 2005 at 10:04 am

Tv freak–I ceertainly noticed last night, and if a Croc eats a Monkey, we’ll know it’s curtains for poor Judd!

As to Probst’s last season . . . though I can’t imagine it without him, he is so overblown and serious, and really thinks it’s “appropriate” to have tribal council amidst those ancient ruins . . . me thinks a bunch of American “tourists” stomping around on revered grounds is hardly “appropriate”, esp. not for a reality show, but I’m loving the pyramids!!!

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

It’s heat, not the plague.

Looking pretty good Ripley

TVgasm Exclusive! Inside Judd’s brain.

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Breaking Up is Hard to Do

It’s heat, not the plague.

Looking pretty good Ripley

TVgasm Exclusive! Inside Judd’s brain.

If you like it, spread it!:

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