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Saturday, December 3, 2005
3:39 am
70 Comments
Things started to get interesting on Survivor: Guatemala this week after our malnourished reality stars suddenly engaged what I’d been begging for: scheming! Yes, this lazy season showed sparks of life as underdogs Lydia and Danni tried to shake things up. Did they succeed? Well, I’m not gonna say just yet. But needless to say, I was very happy to see a return to true Survivor form as mind games threatened to topple the haughty foursome known as Steph, Judd, Rafe, and Cindy. Wait, who’s Cindy? Oh yeah, that quiet girl who always looks pissed. Has she always been there?This week’s episode began with the ominous sight of a volcano simmering with activity. Oooh, much like a restless tribe fermenting with paranoia! It works on so many levels. Still, as much as I like Mr. Volcano, he’s nothing compared to our tireless friends, the leaf-bearing fire ants. Now those guys know how to open a show! (Actually, my all time favorite is the lone crab scuttling across the beach, but this season seems to be completely devoid of any such adorable crustaceans.) Speaking of adorable, that cute-as-a-button (and thin as one too) Danni greeted us with the sad declaration that her head was about to be chopped off. That is, unless she could shake things up. Odds that Danni can shake things up: 15-to-1. Seriously, she’s just gone with the flow every week. Don’t try to make us think you can pull this off. You’ll only get me excited for an inevitable letdown.
Meanwhile, Lydia embraced the morning with an olfactory hallucination. She claimed that she could actually smell sausage and eggs in the air. (Note to Survivor camera crew: eat your breakfast NOT AT CAMP.) Judd had a perfectly reasonable explanation for the odors: “Well, if you smelt and eggs or sausage and eggs, it’s probably Steph farting again; so it could be a little bit of a problem.” Tasty!
“No, I went to the bathroom. No more gas,” Steph reassured us.
“Yeah, usually when you get that egg smell first thing in the morning–” Judd said, trailing off. Hey, thanks for the forensic analysis, man. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna be over here in the corner trying to purge the thought of Judd farts.
With camp life boring as ever (note the fart conversation), the survivors decided to spice things up with a good old-fashioned cartwheel exhibition. Judd kicked things off with a tumble so graceful that he was but a mere flowing ribbon away from rhythmic gymnastics. Who would have ever thought he’d be so nimble? Steph followed with her own nifty cartwheel while Cindy sat to the side, giving her now patented “I HATE YOU” glare. Has anyone actually ever talked to her before? I’m pretty sure no one knows her name. They probably think she’s just a really dirty intern.
As the Cartwheel Expo 2005 continued, Danni told us that she wanted to break up the dominant alliance. She knew she could bring Lydia over. The key was somehow severing the tight bonds of everyone else. Sounds like a tough mission. Oh well, let’s just sit back and have fun instead. Hey look! There’s a giant doing flips! Oh wait, it’s just Danni doing a cartwheel. Never mind.
Suddenly, with booming music playing over the soundtrack, we moved to the reward challenge which was our old favorite: the Survivor auction. Always a fun time, yes? I won’t bore you with the details; let’s just get started!
The first item up for bid was a tasty plate of beef jerky. Danni dropped some coin for the dish, and when she won it, Jeff went all Let’s Make A Deal and gave her the option to trade up for some mysterious, covered item. Danni stuck to her guns though and kept her dried meats (who wouldn’t!). So what was under that giant cover? Jeff unsheathed the plate to reveal a jar of UNCOOKED CORN! THE HORROR!!! Seriously, everyone recoiled as if he’d just produced a fresh plate of human eyeballs. He will do that one day, by the way. Mark my words.
Up next was a scrumptious offering of milk and cookies which Cindy happily purchased. And then came the individual mosquito net. Lydia managed to outbid Judd and Stephenie, and as she claimed the bounty from Probst, he commented, “Boy, you do have a lot of bites on that back. Wow!”
“You haven’t seen nothin’ yet!” Lydia said, patting her butt.
“Got it on the booty too?” Probst asked. Images I didn’t want today: Lydia’s bumpy, mosquito-ravaged ass.
Next up on the block was another covered item, but as we all know, Survivor always follows a crappy reward with an awesome one. As a result, a frenzied bidding war broke out with Danni and Rafe ultimately procuring the item for $180. And what was it? UNCOOKED CORN AGAIN!! GROSS!!!! Actually, no. Just kidding. It was a Philly steak sandwich with fries. Gosh, all these people have been eating. How long until Steph begs for a bite? She does deserve it after all.
For the next lot, Jeff offered up an envelope that enigmatically promised to be a huge helper for the upcoming immunity challenge. Everyone intensely bid on this cryptic item, but in the end, Danni won it. Unfortunately, she couldn’t open the envelope until the immunity challenge; so in the meantime, Probst moved onto the next big item, which he noted was just around the corner. Hmmm… Could it be loved ones from home? Indeed it was! Yes, six happy, clean, and well-fed loved-ones appeared before our survivors, and before you could even say “Guatemala,” everyone was crying. So who was there? Well, we had Rafe’s sweet-looking mother, Lydia’s long lost brother (they hadn’t seen each other in two years. WTF?), Danni’s awkwardly dorky brother, Judd’s wife Kristen, Steph’s so-Jersey-it-hurts boyfriend Mike, and Cindy’s twin sister — Mindy. Yes. Mindy and Cindy. I’ll just let that percolate for a moment.
Asked how he felt to see his mother, Rafe simply blurted out, “I can’t believe she’s standing in front of a Mayan temple!” Yeah, and neither can EVERY SINGLE ARCHEOLOGIST. Well, with the fam all there, it was time to bid. Who would get to see their loved ones? Even though Lydia hadn’t seen her brother in two years, Steph asked the friendly fishmonger for money so she could see her goofy boyfriend. Amazingly, Lydia happily forked over the rest of her cash in a move that was either a) a strategic display of friendship; or b) a passive-aggressive attack on her brother. Yeah, there’s a reason why they haven’t talked for so long. It’s because Lydia HATES him!
Unfortunately for Steph, even though she had a bunch of money, Cindy gave her money over to Judd who ultimately won the prize with $880. “Kristen, go give him some love,” Probst said, ushering the husband and wife back together. And with nipples fully erect, Kristen bounded over to her hairy man and embraced him with the love of a thousand beers. But wait! There was a twist! Judd could now invite two other loved ones to join his wife at the camp that night. Cue the Steph begging in 3, 2, 1… now!
Yup, as usual, Steph cradled her head in her hands, quietly mouthing “Please please please please please” over and over again. And guess what? It worked. Again. Judd selected Cindy’s sister and Steph’s boyfriend back, causing Rafe to bawl and Lydia to smile with her usual concealed anguish. Lydia, you might as well stop expecting rewards. No one’s ever gonna invite you along. Sorry sista.
Feel free to pet the Lydia!
Anyway, Rafe, Danni, and Lydia were sent back to the old Yaxha campsite while the other three spent the night with their loved ones. “My wife was pretty shocked, man, at my camping skills,” Judd told us. “She was digging it. Thought it was pretty hot. She thought I was a sexy camper.” Yes, sexy in that dirty, piggish sort of way. Meanwhile, Cindy and Mindy (or as I like to call them, Cmindy) expressed their happiness to us, with Mindy gushing, “I’m excited to be here because this is what I grew up doing. Playing ‘wilderness people’ is our favorite thing to play!” Funny, I’ve never played “Wilderness People.” Or heard of it. Is it just me? Or is “Wilderness People” some divine creation of the Cmindy brain trust?
Twang x 2
As for Steph, she was absolutely thrilled to see her Mikey-Wikey. “I owe Judd big time because this is the second time he’s given me a sweet reward and shared a sweet reward with me.” Well, I’m sure Steph will repay him somehow. She’ll never stab him in the back, I’m sure. Right? Judd even told his wife that Steph’s gonna take him to the final two if all goes well. This caused Kristen to pat him on the cheeks excitedly. Looks like it’s all gonna work out for Judd! But wait! That monkey in the tree sure looks shifty. Does he know something we don’t know? The monkeys know all.
Meanwhile, Rafe, Danni, and Lydia returned to their old campsite, and as the three wandered around, the dizzying thought of a brand new alliance danced in my head. Could it happen? Lydia and Danni were already somewhat bound to each other. Could they bring Rafe with them? Well, all signs pointed to yes. You see, Rafe was not a big Judd fan, but couldn’t exactly vote against him lest he destroy his alliance with Stephenie. There was only one move for Rafe. “We need to catch Judd in some kind of lie so that we can show Steph because right now, she really, really trusts him,” he said. Uh, didn’t they already catch Judd in a lie? You know, at Tribal Council? The immunity idol fiasco? Anyone? Anyone?
Nevertheless, Rafe finally concluded, “You can’t trust a person like Judd. But you can trust that you can’t trust him.” He then added, “Also, you can’t trust that you can’t trust that you can trust that you can’t trust him. And you can trust that you can’t trust that you can’t trust that you can’t trust that you can trust…” It went on for about two hours.
Normally, I’d say all this Rafe and Danni talk was just massive Mark Burnett misdirection, but back at the other camp, Judd’s wife proudly announced, “It looks like you guys will really be the final four.” Hmmm… those sort of heady proclamations never seem to work out. The only thing more certain of backfiring is when one person tells us point-blank who will be voted out next. And of course, that’s exactly what Judd then did. He revealed that Danni was next to go, and if she somehow won immunity, it would be Lydia. “I’m so glad this worked out this way,” he added, full of hubris. Well, I guess this means Danni and Lydia are staying. Sweet!
The next morning, Rafe, Danni, and Lydia returned to camp, and as the loved-ones headed off, Judd waxed poetically about seeing his wife: “It’s like eatin’ twenty-five White Castle cheeseburgers, man.” He then added, “I can’t wait to see my daughter. That’ll be like three bags of Cheetohs, a burrito, and some onion rings.”
With the camp back to normal, it was time to talk strategy. Lydia approached Judd and suddenly dropped her sweet facade in lieu of a tough-talkin’ fishmonger grit. “We’ve come this close. We got seven freakin’ more days left. Now… we either get rid of the threats… or we’re gonna be stuck to where we’re gonna be sittin’ on the jury,” she said in a firm and mildly scary way. Of course, this completely appealed to Judd’s greedy instincts, especially once Lydia reminded him how his so-called “alliance” had blind-sided him with the Jamie ouster. As a result, Judd became riled up and said he would join Lydia and Danni (who was sitting with them) if they wanted to go after one of the larger threats. What Judd didn’t realize was that Lydia had just ensnared him into going after Rafe, a move that would surely annoy Steph and turn her against her loyal Jersey buddy. Holy shit! This is some top-notch scheming. Gotta give props to Lydia and Danni — assuming it all works out…
At the immunity challenge, Probst revealed to us that today’s game “requires smarts.” And to illustrate this, he tapped his temple. You see, if you tap your temple, that means you’re smart. Thanks Jeff! Amusingly, on the word “smarts,” the producers cut to an exasperated Judd, clearly not the biggest proponent of thinkin’ ‘n’ stuff. Well, the big immunity puzzle was actually just an elaborate retread of a popular Big Brother motif (ah, memories flooding back from Big Brother 6. Such a wonderful season…). Basically, players had to move from tile to tile on a giant board. Any tile that was stepped on could not be stepped on again, and players could move until they became boxed in. Last person standing would win immunity. As for Danni’s immunity advantage: she could swap positions with any other player one time. Make sense? Don’t worry, it doesn’t really matter.
Well, everyone went about stepping from tile to tile, and as exciting as it was to watch on screen, it really doesn’t translate well into writing. Needless to say, Cindy dropped out first, then Danni swapped with Steph (which of course led to Steph giving her trademark pissy glares), and then Lydia and Rafe bit it. Judd boxed himself in next; although, that’s not the way he saw it. “I got one more!” he protested, but an annoyed Probst swiftly replied, “Judd, you cannot move diagonally!” By the way, where’s the surly gym teacher Probst we saw last week? You know, the one who kept yelling, “This is for immunity, LET’S GO!!!” I kind of miss him. I guess he calms down when it comes to puzzle games and smarts. And yes, I did tap my temple just now in honor of Probst.
Ultimately, the challenge came down to Steph and Danni, and in the end, the purchased advantage did the trick. Danni won immunity and effectively saved herself from the chopping block. Yay! In celebration, Danni then did 250 crunches in the span of ten seconds.
Back at camp, the scheming continued at full tilt (yes!) as Danni cozied up next to Steph and happily played on her fears. Judd was still pissed and angry and betrayed about the whole Jamie situation, Danni noted, adding, “He’s like ‘Don’t think I don’t know who’s in control.’” Well, this immediately had Steph paranoid that Judd was coming after her, and as he sat on the temple like a bored gorilla, Steph approached Rafe with the idea of turning on their ally.
“We’ve been trying to be honest with each other for the most part,” Steph said. Yes, “honest” in that backstabby sort of way. But that’s okay. Even if Steph was betraying her alliance, I didn’t mind. I’m all about the backstabbing on Survivor. As for Lydia, she was busy stirring the pot by quietly pitting Judd against Danni, saying that she could be very dangerous. Lydia then offered her vote to Judd, which was clearly an effort to mobilize Judd into doing something stupid like campaigning against Stephenie. Judd didn’t quite take the bait, but he still had some sage advice: “If you think you’re safe in this game, you’re crazy. You’re absolutely berserk.”
Later, Lydia offered her vote to Rafe, and while this may have seemed duplicitous, I think she was actually sincere. Judd wasn’t very happy though, and he called her out, saying that she had offered her support to him first. Oh, who cares. Lydia’s just trying to stay on by the hair on her chinny chin chin (I sincerely hope her chin does not have any hair though). As the tribe headed up to Casa Del Probst, Judd told us that he was simply happy that someone was going home. “As long as it ain’t me, I’ll always have a smile on my face,” he added. And yes, that was my Obvious Misdirection Sensor going off.
At Tribal Council, we met our lovely jury and discovered that Gary still hadn’t shaved his nasty neck-beard. C’mon. Adam’s apples aren’t supposed to be hairy. Sadly, nothing too interesting happened at Tribal Council. Probst barely seemed able to elicit any sort of excitement; not even from Judd who explained his thoughts on voting someone off: “No hard feelings, but deal with it. That’s basically the way I look at it.” Makes sense. No hard feelings. Just business…
Well, speaking of voting, it was that time. Lydia jotted down Judd’s name, and Judd jotted down, well, some lady named “Lidia.” Oh wait, that’s supposed to be “Lydia.” Now I understand why Judd wasn’t so psyched about using all those “smarts” before (me tapping temple again). I shouldn’t be so snobby. Everyone has a typo here and there. Of course, they’re usually typing when it happens, but hey, that’s okay.
Finally, it came time to read the votes. First one: Judd. Second: the mysterious Lidia! Third: Lydia again (clearly Cindy). Fourth: Judd. Fifth: “Juddinator” (groan). And sixth: Judd. And with that Judd became the latest survivor voted off the… Guatemala. At least he took it like a man: “Thanks guys. Hope you guys all get bit by a freakin’ crocodile. Scumbags.” Now Judd, what happened to all that talk from before? You know, about how no one was ever safe and should ever feel safe. Surely you held yourself to that standard, yes? And did you not just now say that there should be no hard feelings, just deal with it? Just wondering.
Well, as Gary snickered in the jury, Judd trotted off into the night, muttering once again, “Scumbags.” Later, in his exit interview, Judd vented, “I was pissed off, lied to, betrayed. It doesn’t feel good being blindsided. It sucks being lied to, man, because the one thing I didn’t do was lie to anyone, man.” Whaaa? This was the most delusional comment since Burton Roberts accused Lil of betraying him… RIGHT AFTER HE BETRAYED HER! Sorry, that still riles me up.
Anyway, Judd ended his thoughts on a positive note, saying, “I really believe that you’re all a bunch of scumbags.” And in other news, baby wants his bottle. Actually, even though his comments were highly hypocritical, I gotta give him props for lashing out. Because honestly, isn’t that what we really want? Who cares about those annoying “It was the most amazing experience!” speeches. We want anger! Frustration! Hostility!
With any luck, things should continue to twist and turn next week as Cindy becomes the latest victim of the blindside bonanza. My prediction: an all out war between Cindy and Steph. What do you think will happen? Will you miss Judd? And did anyone else see his twin brother in the Febreeze family moment?
TV Social
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70 Comments
umm is it a good thing Judd’s gone? Sorry I know it’s probably a dumb question just wanted to know.
Vote Probst off at the next elimination. He’s a pompous no talent hack whose head is ten sizes too big for him. Dig up Phil Donohue and let him complete the season. Yeah,yeah, I know it’s already taped.
Vote Probst off at the next elimination. He’s a pompous no talent hack whose head is ten sizes too big for him. Dig up Phil Donohue and let him complete the season. Yeah,yeah, I know it’s already taped.
Jersey is not proud of StephaME. She has become the stereotype. I’m sure her boyfriend boned her hard right in the jungle. I’m sure it reminded her of her many skanky nights in the ‘Strike and Spare’ Bowling Alley parking lot.
I must say I do enjoy the endless torturing of Lydia. No one likes her, no one listens to her, and she never gets a reward. Its great.
Cindy & Mindy = GAG.
Rafe = Is he a big Mary too, with all that crying?
KH
Thanks for getting the recap up so quick B-side! Nice way to start my Saturday before work, although you’re still dissing the ZOOKEEPER! She’d better do something now. At least a bitch fight with Steph as suggested. Danni played smart this week. Lydia just got lucky. Steph is gonna have hell to pay from Judd if she makes it into the final two. He’ll go all Susan Hawk on her, except he’ll add about a thousand “man’s” to his rant. Rafe The Wilderness Fairy is still strong. He’s the only guy left now, so he’d better hope that he keeps his enemies close.
Judd is kicking himself for letting StephaMe consort with her puffy bf Mike. I can’t believe he didn’t let Lydia visit with her long lost brother! He must live in Upper Siberia. I’m sorry but family members take precedence over bf’s. It looks like Mindy is the pretty twin. Or is she just the twin with the green contact lenses? Or maybe just the clean one? My 8 year old said Judd’s wife was “hot”. I said “You mean pretty.” He replied “No, I mean hot.” Far be it for me to tell a boy what he likes. I wonder how he scored her. He must’ve been the HS quarterback and she the head cheerleader. Awww.
I am glad Judd is gone if only because he will make such a angry deranged juror. I would have loved if they had ganged up on Steph, but maybe they’ll figure it out next week. She is such a tool. That bitch-ass attitude when Danni switched with her? Like she wouldn’t have done the same thing to WHOEVER had been in the lead. She’s the pits.
Love the picture of Stephenie. If it weren’t for Toni Ferrare, she’d had the craziest eyes of any reality tv contestant.
It looks like it’s Rafe’s game to lose at this point.
I could be completely wrong but I think the one to watch is Cindy. Way back after the merge at the first challenge she and Judd were the only two from their team to compete. When Probst asked her why she said something to the effect that she could eat anytime but she came to compete. Plus, she has been flying WAY under the radar. She managed to get in with the big alliance while at the same time disappearing into the background. Seems like half of them don’t even realize she’s there! Its down to six people and she has still avoided any clashes or big ugly sceens, that is an accomplishment. Like I said, I could be wrong but I think she has played a good game.
Well, I think Survivor has pretty much sucked this year, but this was actually a good episode. B-Side, LMAO- I’ve never heard of playing ‘wilderness people’ either! As far as the family members go, I thought Judd’s wife was cute at first…but not so much when they did a close up. Still, she obviously has something to attract 8 year old boys- Lizardqueen’s son and Judd “I hope you get bit by a freakin’ crocodile!”.
You have to give Mike some credit though…he’s been with that “I’ve done Jersey proud” bitch for seven years! If she doesn’t bring home the bacon on this Survivor, I’m sure he’ll dump her ass.
Great post B-Side, please recap the Real World Reunion show
Am I the only one really hating Steph’s big dopey hat? Just curious.
Well, the big immunity puzzle was actually just an elaborate retread of a popular Big Brother motif (ah, memories flooding back from Big Brother 6. Such a wonderful season…).
Oh, God, that brings back fond memories… I kept expecting Maggie to pop up somewhere.
Speaking of BB6, think they’ll do a Survivor where there are partners? Or Bible-thumping twins that switch off every few days? That’d be fun.
Cindy and Mindy are scary even by twin standards — very “Village Of The Damned.” That dual vapid, glazed stare! Plus, cutesy, girly names are a sure sign of insanity in adults. Your picture of them needs a sound clip — I suggest the dead twin girls from “The Shining” saying, “Come play with us, Danny.” Or “Danni,” as the case may be.
…Judd waxed poetically about seeing his wife: “It’s like eatin’ twenty-five White Castle cheeseburgers, man.”
They have feminine hygiene products that’ll clear that right up, man.
Was Judd’s wife a Godlewski?
Judd is annoying. Yes he was good tv, but on Survivor Live (cbs.com) he was a huge ass. The two hosts were scared of him and what he might say and do. He also sort of let it slip who was going next. He also said that his final question was going to be good and bitchy. Judd did not say anything interesting the whole time except he still stood by all of his comments when getting voted off.
I’m pretty sure Judd was confused at the end of the puzzle game because he didn’t know what “diagonal” meant.
yes! at last! an honest-to-god sore loser! funny how it’s only ‘personal’ as opposed to ‘all business’ when it’s your ass out the door, eh, ‘juddinator’? and better yet, given the fact that judd was still fuming in his post-game ‘early show’ interview about how he badly he was ‘betrayed’, we can expect some hardcore, sue hawk-style venting of self-righteous indignation at the last tribal council.
as nice as it was to see steph turn on judd, it was one of the dumbest moves in the history of survivor. judd and steph were each the other’s best chance to win the game. now, the jury is a majority united in only one respect: they all owe their ejection to steph. and what would have happened if steph had refused to backstab judd? would rafe have risked the purple rock of death to save lydia? not likely.
here’s a clue, steph: when you needlessly screw over someone who trusts you and who you obviously owe favors, you are throwing away their vote.
danni’s stock went way up for me this week. the way she moved lydia and steph around was f**king shrewd. it’s so satisfying to finally see some quality scheming.
oh, and by the way, lizardqueen–regarding this dispute about my alleged pseudonymous self-admiration, trust me: jack is jack, and no one else is jack, get it, jack? if i was going to anonymously kiss my own anonymous ass on a message board, it’d be less along the lines of ‘i like your take on the game’ and more like ‘not only is jack the greatest unpaid anonymous tv blog poster in god’s creation–he’s hung like jeff probst, to boot!’
but, alas, i bow my snarking head to the supremacy of the tvgasm boys, who’ve reliably kept me avoiding work and painting my monitor with fragrant, filmy layers of regurgitated coffee for over a year now. roll on, b-side; we are all but worms before your snarking magnificence.
Can’t see any of these as I’m in Italy at the mo, and with the recaps I don’t feel like I’m missing a thing.
I agree jack, stupid stupid STUPID move on Steph’s part. And although I’m no fan of Judd’s, even if it were strategically smart – which again it’s NOT – how could she, after all he has done for. What an ungrateful BITCH! That has got to be one of the worst backstabbings on Survivor, as hypocritical as Judd’s parting words were, it’s hard to begrudge him his bitterness. Surely Steph’s deluded sense of personal entitlement is right on par with Judd’s handle of honesty and “good sportsmanship man”.
Bring it on, Judd!
I loved how Jaime went out a few weeks ago. Judd was way to bitter…you got outplayed…deal with it. He wouldn’t have thought twice about voting out Steph if the chance presented itself.
Speaking of Steph, can she please go next? I really liked her last season but this time all she does is whine and complain. I’m tired of her crap.
I’m hoping Cindy or Rafe win this time….
not only is jack the greatest unpaid anonymous tv blog poster in god’s creation–he’s hung like jeff probst, to boot!
~ jackfan
Dear B-Side,
Thank you SO MUCH for the timely recap. I have only 1 TV (pity me) and my grandma wanted to watch that stupid ass Pope movie instead of “Survivor”. (Pity me some more!) Therefore, with last week’s ep on Thanksgiving and the Pope on Primetime, I have missed 2 episodes. What really sucks is that my grandma fell asleep halfway through and I am the one who got caught up in the melodrama of St John Paul II (played artfully by Rosie O’Donnell, btw).
Pity me the most!
~ I AM NOT JACK!!!!
jack,
call me!
~ jackfan
subgenre71@aol.com
I liked Steph last season. The whole underdog thing was working for her. Now she is just an annoyance with her entitled attitude.
When Judd led the family members into camp, he threw his jacket onto the temple like it was the couch. I had to LOL. Here’s hoping that Judd breaks the “silent jury member watching” rule and blasts them at the next tribal council. That would be good tv. I’m glad that this bunch has finally woken up and started scheming.
I’m so glad you mentioned Judd’s twin! I almost thought it was Judd sneaking into his own Febreze moment, the twin is sporting that gross beard Judd has been working on in Guatemala. I wish they would have brought Judd’s twin to Guatemala instead of his 25 white castle burgers (I mean, his wife), it would have been fun to see Cmindy and the two Judds hanging out around the fire, man…
<>
Chronic, you don’t have to advertise your whereabouts for our benefit. Should I start saying “I missed this episode because I had to go all the way from Santa Monica to Sherman Oaks and there was killer traffic on the 405″? I think not. Spare us.
jack: Thank you for calling lizardqueen out. I’m so sick and tired of her hogging all the comments page thinking she’s the only one with anything witty to say. And then when someone outwits her she thinks they are praising themselves. It’s gotten to the point that I recognize her style and skip right over her. She needs to get over herself. She just ain’t that funny.
You know what’s random? Judd, Cindy and Jaime all have identical twins. I just hope that Jaime’s twin isn’t a complete nutjob like he is.
Alexis, Um, really, Chillax already. I’ve been missing all the shows for the past two weeks, I gave a short explanation. I’m here alone on work, it’s about as far from enjoyable as you can get, and to top it off the weather as been f**king appallingly abysmal for the past two weeks. For these reasons, I’m especially grateful for the recaps, so sue me. Once again, thanks b-side
Although today was nice, and was warm enough for me to finally gorge myself on gelato
Ouch. jack check the part where I said it was a joke and then the part where I kiss your ass, delicious by the way.
holy cow – too much hostility going on here, we need some SERIOUS chillaxation now!
Hug me, chronic.
How bout you go fu#k yourself Dickey D?
Check out the hot Survivor chick in the new movie
http://www.gamers-themovie.com
I think Stephenie is gone next week — I also liked her last season but this time around she has such a sense of entitlement. They gotta take her out. Do you think a jury would ever give it to Steph if she were in the final two with any of the others remaining? I don’t, but stranger things have happened.
I still can’t believe that Lydia let Stephenie shake her down for her money. They treat Lydia horribly.
ah Judd amused me. His utter lack of good sportsmanship and, of course, smarts (don’t forget the temple tap) was quite funny. I especially like the way he says man after every single sentence. i shall miss judd. not because i like him but because he is such a moron. i can’t stand stephenie anymore. i liked her last season (was it palau?) but now she just drives me insane. and cindy bothers me. i sort of like danni and i love rafe and lydia. (i really don’t know why) there isn’t really an obvious favorite (like rupert) in this season. and btw, it isn’t that uncommon for people to have not seen their siblings in years. my dad hasn’t seen his siblings (all 5) in 8 years, simply because they live on the other side of the world and we don’t have the money. lydia’s a single mom (even though her son is grown up now) so she probably isn’t rolling in dough either.
I still love you LQ.
(((HUGS)))
As much as I dislike Judd, Lydia should have been gone like eight weeks ago!! At least now I can be assured that Cindy’s boobs are real and I can keep oogling them, unless Mindy got the 2-for-1 boob job special…
At least now I can be assured that Cindy’s boobs are real and I can keep oogling them, unless Mindy got the 2-for-1 boob job special…
Wouldn’t that be 4-for-2?
Kinda sucks that Judd left, him and Gary were both entertaining and they’re both out now.
Steph SHOULD have brought him to final two because that was an almost assured win.
And Rafe The Wilderness Fairy is annoying as can be. The guy kept saying on camera in the beggining of the season how he felt he was in the axis of evil alliance, yet he had no trouble betraying 2 members who never said anything bad about him.
I hope either Danni or Cindy win now!
Remember the day Bobby Jon got voted off, and he tried to warn Jamie and Judd about how Steph will betray an alliance like that (snaps fingers)? Well they should have listened, because then they could have got rid of the needy bitch and my Bobby Jon would still be competing! And whoever said that her hat is annoying-I absolutely agree! It’s like everything that is annoying about her is personified in that inanimate object.
And there is entirely too much hostility here-especially for a Saturday! Does everyone have to work like me?
I hope Cindy wins immunity next week. And speaking of twins-Jamie’s twin is named Ramie, which I think is hysterical! Does that mean Judd’s twins is named Fudd?
I forgot to mention my favorite part!
“Hope you guys all get bit by a freakin’ crocodile. Scumbags.”
That is going in the Christmas cards this year!
That little remark was very funny, but it seems people couldn’t tell the scene was edited. Judd clearly said the second “scumbags” with the same tone as the first one, but with his back to the camera it seems they took a few liberties in the editing room.
Makes you wonder how much they “change” facts.
Aw, LQ, *big hug*.
Hey juddfan—Where are youuuuuuuuu?
I think Judd’s twin must be named Budd. I almost crossed myself when I saw that first pic of Steph–she’s definitely possessed…
Much as I hate to say this, Go Danni! I think she’s playing very smart.
Good lord I’m so glad Judd is gone.
I heard that the early morning show he was on.. he still tryed to say that he never lied during the game… Uh.. WHa??? Seriosly?
He must not have been watching the same show we’re all watching b/c I remember numerous times when his eyes have bugged out of his head whch clearly says “I’M LIEING”.
I’m so glad he’s gone…
Now… I hope Lydia is gone next. I don’t want another undeserving waste of space to make it to the final 2… or even 3 for that matter.
If you guys look a little bit around the internet the names of the final two are already out. I think it’s obvious who’s gonna take the million.
It doesnt’ say Judd’s twin’s name, but get this, from the CBS Survivor website:
“Born and raised in Douglas, Georgia, with his identical twin brother, Ramie, Jamie Newton has also lived in Atlanta and Jacksonville, Florida. He attended Central Missouri State University, where he was a member of the wrestling team and won the title Regional Champ in 1999. He received his bachelor degree in finance.”
“Ramie”? Too cute.
And a degree in finance? Unbelieveable.
Does anyone have a screencap of Judd’s “Febreze Family Moment”? I flaked on the existence of the twin and was very wierded out by it. I thought it was a picture of Judd, but then it seemed to be a slightly animated floating head. (One of Yubaba’s 3 familiars escaped perhaps? Spirited Away anyone?) At any rate I would like to give it another look see.
StephaMe’s hat is so freakin’ annoying. It may just be because it’s on her head.
Danorexia seems to grow 5 inches with every ounce she loses. It was nice to see her get some nourishment. The scariest part is they say the camera adds 10 pounds. I am starting to pull for her to make some more smart moves.
PS- juddfan I hope you haven’t fallen into a depressed state over this week’s Tribal Council. The little Survivor here keeps saying every couple hours “I can’t believe Judd’s gone.” Don’t despair, Judd still has plenty of work to do. I too hope he brings his Sue Hawk best to the jury finale.
YES!! I did see his brother in the febreeze family moment and I honestly thought they taped the segment after the contestants had gone back home and that Judd just was too stupid to move out of the frame…..He was such a dumb asshole.Im so glad him and that pussy,Gary are gone.I’ll be happy whoever wins at this point.
Mike (#13) – That has to be the sickest, most graphic comment ever. Ewwwwww!
Also, I was hoping for a little twin swapping just to shake things up. I think Burnett should have someone’s twin off camera following along and getter dirtier and thinner. Then have that person swap in at some point during the game.
Mike (#13) – That has to be the sickest, most graphic comment ever. Ewwwwww!
Okay, I take it back. Judd’s wife wasn’t a Godlewski.
Dani will be one of the strongest competitors because she’s used to functioning with no food. She’s been doing it for years now as apparent by the skeleton we see. Yes sad the camera adds 10 pounds.
I love that Judd is gone and that it was at Stephamie’s back stabbing will. In a perfect world I would have Stephamie for sure in the final 2 just so that the jury of Stephame hatters could dangle the win and then deny her in the end. Think of the boo hooing and crying that would be going on then hu? Sweet poetry.
I thought it was Judd in the fabreeze family moment as well just a really fat bloated even slower version of the survivor self and that he was stupid enough not to move out of the shot.
Go Rafe!!
“Steph, Judd, Rafe, and Cindy. Wait, who’s Cindy? Oh yeah, that quiet girl who always looks pissed. Has she always been there?”
I think Cindy will win. She is under the radar enough, and a strong competitor for immunity. If she doesn’t win, it will be because of the acrimony b/w her and Steph.
Glad Judd will be on the jury…and he IS a bad sportsmanship. I loved the camera shot when Probst said “you can’t move diagonally” when reading the rules, Judd looked so confused, and I thought, “He’s not getting it.” I almost died when he then tried to move diagonally. And his crocodile comment was All-Time Survivor great.
An aside, I watched the reality recap show on Fox Reality w/ your host Kennedy, and thought it was just a bad visual TVGAsm. What about you guys recapping that show? You might be able to make it good.
Hmm . . . well, I hate to say something personal about my whereabouts . . . but since it was asked, yeah, I’m one of those at work bloggers, so I’m only on the M-f sched( and that did leave me the weekend for my smack riddled depression) . . . sorry I missed all the disses . . . and rather than attack, I’ll join the LQ hugs . . . you know I’m your fan, Baby!!! You’ve got an edge that most people don’t, which I especially like, but I enjoy everyone and all of this, esp you B-side!!!! Great one this time!!!! (Even if it was the end of the road for Mr. Judd)
For myself, I was so turned off by his, no one can wait for someone to go comment, and his closing remarks to the mystery woman “Lidia” were downright rude and uncalled for. Tsk-tsk Steph, I know his final gripes were bc of you, bc he trusted you, and say what you will, I believe Judd would not have, under any circumstance, back-stabbed Steph (the rest of course!–but not his jersey girl)
I’m happy the guy’s got a sweet and cute and “hot” wife (it was a nipply outfit!) I said on the tail of the last show, she seems to be the bonde, female equivalent of me, so good for him!!! As to the twin, I’m glad it wasn’t me, I too had to go back and search, and it looked like a floating, dead inside person . . . maybe he’s embarrased by the whole debacle and has already had people approaching him and giving him shit, man! I’ll keep my handle, but I’m not feeling the Judd love as I once did . . . see, MB, I begged for more undies, and what good did it do . . .
I’m rooting for Danni all the way, I’ve never disliked her, and her genuine kindness from the b-day chocolates on, is a rare thing on a show like this. Kuddos to her for hanging in with the smallest amounts of manipulation!!!!
StephaMe has got to go, surely they will see the wisdom! If she doesn’t get immunity, bye-bye . . . esp after dissing her Budd (loved Fudd, BTW)
cindy/ stephie cat fight? cool!
i still like steph and anyone who doesn’t take her to the finals is an idiot.
Yea juddfan! So glad you could make it. Sorry to make you say something so outrageous as “where you at?”. I’m always pushing that proverbial envelope don’t ya know. I kind of hope Steph goes all the way ‘cuz she couldn’t possibly win. I’m a Danorexia convert, she is sweet as pie, love the Wilderness Fairy, would be down with the zookeeper, and still have some kind of affection/sympathy for the little fishmonger. We shall see.
Ramie? Ramie? Is it really Ramie? Really? Rhymes with Jamie, Ramie? Rolly, Ramie. Ramie, Rolly.
PS-Dana I’m smooching you
Thanks LQ- time for me to get to zookeeping now.
It seems that you and I, plus juddfan and chronic have formed our own little TVgasmn alliance. Final four baby!
Judd deserved to get voted off, and his scumbag comment killed me, seeing he is the biggest one of all. Jeff Probst ought to quit and concentrate on porking the 23 year old former survivor he took up with. (why is it a big deal when women date a younger guy, but its okay for Probst to date someone like 30 years younger than himself?) I am sure his exwife is loving this. He should have been fired just for showing interest in her (perv). Danni can catch fish with her hipbones.
Stephanie should have been booted in week #1. NOBODY should have the right to come back two years in a row. Finally, GO RAFE. We havent had a gay guy win since season #1 (wait…is that guy Ethan really straight?)
Well, trixie, you’ll have to check with Jenna on the Ethan question . . . he does have some curly locks though . . .
I think Probst is only 41 or so, which I guess is a span, but not unworkable. I’m sure he’s nice in real life, but what an over-serious host he makes.
: ( judd, a scumbag!? Perhaps, but now I’m with those looking forward to a Susan Hawk part 2.
Danni’s my fave, but I’m good with anyone ‘cept StephaMe!
And Dana, LQ and Chronic–I’ll gladly go all the way to final 4 with you all!
Good write-up. Judd getting axed was pure gold. It did not take much to get Rafe and Stephanie to vote him off. It will be fun to see if that was because he was super annoying or they are just desperate for an excuse to blind-side their competition.
I think Rafe and Cindy are looking like a final two….but who knows? Anything can happen in the final episodes.
You know when I heard that Probst might not be back I was so sad at first – but after seeing Guatemala, I’m thinking it’s time. He’s becoming too much of a part of the game. I appreciate that he’s handed every juicy detail but one of the reasons that the scheming isn’t as good as it used to be is that he’ll call people out on things that happened in private. Richard Hatch (eewwwwwwwww) had the luxury of playing the game without interference.
Go Danni!
I love that Judd is gone, because I find him really really annoying, but I love that he’s on the jury! You’ve got to have a bitter boots on the jury, otherwise…
Laura I don’t get it. Please elaborate. Do you mean his bantering with the people before the vote? I confess that I don’t really remember how he acted in the first season, senility ya’ know.
Senility!? Try massive quantities of SMACK!!!!
; )
At least that’s my excuse–didn’t see the first season, but that’s the only one I missed (doesn’t that make me Special!)
Next thing you know juddfan, your going to tell us you’re writing in from the Riviera, you saucy little bitch! ;}
PS- I wish we could IM during the show. Also I’ll be thinking of you as I watch TAR tonight.
Jeff just asks the questions at TC (leading as they may be). The contestants decide how much info. to give up in their answers. I’ve watched every season. I know. Probst would be an idiot to give up this sweet gig. He’ll stay as long as MB lets him.