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Saturday, February 19, 2011
2:03 pm
71 Comments
It’s time for another season of Survivor, and I could not be more excited. And while I could go either way on the whole “Redemption Island” twist, I am firmly pro-Rob v. Russell. There’s been a lot of talk about how awful it is to see these lifers on the show over and over again, but 1.) I have more favorite Survivor contestants than friends, so I’m cool seeing them over and over again each year and 2.) When Jeff says we get another season of Russell Hantz, I hear we get another season of him sobbing uncontrollably from a seat squarely in the middle of the bottom row at the reunion. So game on, baby. Survivor is back.
Sweeping shots of mountains and oceans! A helicopter full of aspiring Los Angeles actors! Jeff Probst yelling at us! Yep, it’s good to be back.
The sexual tension is intense.
Time for some talking heads, starting with Phillip, who over the next hour will become my favorite Survivor character since Coach (something I thought impossible). He tells us he’s a former federal agent. It’s ok if you missed it now, because it will be repeated roughly six million times during this episode. Also, I owe the producers $5 for Russell not getting to talk about how great he is before everyone else.
I thought mocking titles were only on Big Brother, but I’m glad to see it here.
Matt is religious and wants to play the game like Jesus! Ralph is a redneck and wants to be the first dumbass to win the game!
No comment.
Jeff is still sort of a huge dork!
Also, do you think they noticed he yelled “18 people” at the end there in the helicopter?
Francesca is excited to be here! Mike was in Iraq and thinks he’ll win because he has proper training, and we all know success on Survivor is directly related to survival experience.
Jeff welcomes them to Survivor and they basically make idiots of themselves, and then he drops the first bombshell: two more players! B-Rob and Russell arrive to predictable reactions, and Stephanie says something about letting Russell take her to the end and then beating him. It’s the soundest strategy we’ve heard so far so watch for her to win a million dollars in three months.
Jeff orgasms all over how great the two guys are. Boston Rob is a great guy and a bobcat in the sack, Russell masterminded two alliances but never won. Hey, I’ll give him credit for Samoa, but wasn’t HvV basically all Parvati? He didn’t call ANY shots after the merge. Anyways, Francesca speaks up and says they’re being sized up like prey, which is both true and a stupid thing to say.
Rob begins to suspect the game is rigged when he draws a yellow buff and Russell draws an immunity idol.
So they draw for teams and Rob goes to the yellow tribe with loudmouth Fran and Russell goes to the purple tribe with winner-elect Stephanie. Also, the reactions of the two tribes is reason #2,546 that Russell will never win Survivor unless he changes his strategy. Except for the old guy in the back who is really creepily excited about Russell.
Then Jeff tells them all the stuff about Redemption Island we already know (surviving alone, duels to return). Good grief there’s a lot of prelim stuff and weird twists to get out of the way. If Jeff wasn’t there and I was one of these contestants I would feel like I was actually on a weird Survivor knock-off that altered the rules just enough to avoid a lawsuit.
And then it’s finally time to hear from Russell. Because he is the best at everything, he is not scared of Redemption Island. Uh, cool? I think the point was supposed to be that you need to be nice to everyone that you vote off, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that went over Russell’s head.
Nowhere on TV but competition-based reality shows would this man find such continued success.
We’re FINALLY ready to get started, so after Jeff throws maps at them and both tribes awkwardly miss the catch (side note: Stephanie is wearing heels, confirming she will in fact be Russell’s dumbass girl this season), he tells them to head out but also start listening to Rob and Russell because they are the best ever. Also, Fran keeps talking about how she will never ever need to go to Redemption Island because she is such a good player. Man, the Fran edit is rich with dramatic irony on a second viewing.
The happy team-building music is playing as Zapatera (purple) shows up, and Russell immediately tells us what a badass he is and how he’s going to run this game. Oh, Russell. I can’t wait to see which of your allies will kick your ass all over the final tribal. Never change. So his first fiendish act is to call everyone together and tell them that he won’t be evil this time and he just wants the team to win. Then they start building their camp using a shit-ton of product placement materials from Craftsman while the camera attempts to linger on its logo for as long as possible. Ralph the redneck says he can build them an awesome camp if they listen to him, but his authority is lessened by the producers’ need to subtitle everything he says.
He’s also rapidly developing a bromance with Iraq veteran Mike, who displays he might be kind of a mimbo when he says he wants to “win and stay away from immunity challenges.” A bold strategy, to be sure.
“Can we good-looking fellas join your dumbass alliance, too?”
The music is sadder at Ometepe (yellow) but they are also building a pretty decent camp, and Matt shows us that Jesus would have played the game like a buffoon by asking Rob if he’s from Boston. SERIOUSLY? I feel like “Is Rob from Boston?” is the way you would confirm an obvious question around Survivor elite. Also, where the hell are our Rob confessionals?
Jeff has got to be PISSED he’s missing this.
So basically Rob is his charming self and everyone loves him, especially Natalie who totally wants to bone him later.
“You think Rob is single?”
But then it’s time for Phillip to get this party started. He makes the unforgivable Survivor error of trying to build a camp better than Boston Rob and builds on that by being super condescending to Fran and the girls.
But then for some reason he’s alone with the girls, and he chooses to tell them that he’s a formal federal agent and an expert at reading people, so he’s like superman. Also he has seven sisters so it’s OK for him to be really creepy and hug them all. Man, elements of delusion like we have not seen since, well, Russell’s last confessional.
So then Kristen, who’s a law student even though she’s like 50, says she went through all the stuff looking for immunity idol clues but didn’t find anything. Boston Rob, who may have been born at night but not last night, calls her out on it in private but she insists she didn’t find anything and now she’s worried Rob thinks she has it. Unfortunately, Rob is the kind of smart player that allies with idiots to vote out other strong smart players, so this doesn’t bode well for Kristen. He immediately goes to Phillip and tells him they should consider a boys’ alliance, who is way too eager to be all over Rob.
AND THEN, because the Survivor Gods are smiling on us, Phillip does this amazing impression of him and Rob as male lions, then starts flexing his biceps and making weird sounds I have no idea how to replicate in text form.
So Phillip immediately goes to Kristen (I can’t believe this is all before the first challenge!) and tells her Rob wants to sell out the girls so they should work together. Russell is going to be pissed that there is someone like Phillip this season to steal his precious camera time.
Phillip’s necklace would make an excellent fake immunity idol.
Speaking of Russell, he finally corners Stephanie and gets all weird about how he brought Natalie and Parvati and now it’s her turn. First, Parvati didn’t win, and second, Parvati owned you the entire game. I really wish I knew if Stephanie knows all this and is just playing to Russell’s ego or if she’s genuinely bought in to the Hantz myth because I really want to know how much to respect her gameplay. Anyways, Russell starts his issuing of ultimatums about how she needs to get with him and they seal the deal.
But this does not go unnoticed to other Zapatera members, who immediately share that he has his hooks in Stephanie and is a huge threat. As long as there are no Tysons here, it sounds like Russell’s days might be thankfully numbered.
Back to Ometepe. Rob has gained the awe of the men and a harem of women, save Kristen who wants to fight against him. Man, I feel like if this wasn’t Survivor’s golden boy Boston Rob we would all totally be rooting for Krazy Kristen. She gets this awesome Latin American horn behind her as she sets off into the wilds of Nicaragua with her shovel and bright pink sports bra to find the immunity idol and she begins randomly looking under rocks and in trees AND SHE TOTALLY FINDS IT. I would argue this is even more impressive than Russell because she found it faster and also in a more random location than he did in Samoa. I hope this entire season continues the trend of proving Russell’s “feats” pretty lackluster.
Peter O’Toole will definitely play her in the film adaption.
But my love for her sort of falls apart when she tries to build a crazy-person trifecta with Fran and Phillip to send Rob home. Phillip, because he is a former federal agent and also an expert at reading people, talks for like twenty minutes without saying anything and basically demands to know who the other votes are. Screaming “WHO ARE YOUR VOTES” is not a way to make friends.
When they try to tell him to relax because they haven’t even played the fucking immunity challenge yet, he tells them he’s a grown man and a federal agent and he just wants answers and then there’s this awesome fight between the three of them that consists of Phillip making sure he always has the last word and the slowly dawning horror of Kristen and Fran that they’ve just put themselves at the mercy of someone who might be legitimately insane.
Challenge time! What, no questions about how much they love Rob and Russell? AND WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR ROB CONFESSIONALS? Without those, he just kinda comes off as a smug prick. I want his knowing winks and nods toward me, the viewer. Damnit.
So the challenge is a standard physical thing and then mental thing. And there’s some rope-cutting that doesn’t amount to much. It is notable that this is a challenge on like a giant pyramid thing, which I feel like the challenge department hasn’t done since like Guatemala. Anyways, Zapetera gets a big lead in the physical part and even though Rob is a puzzle superstar they can’t catch up. Immunity and flint to Zapetera!
So back at camp, Kristen tells Fran she has the immunity idol and she wants to convince everyone to vote for her while “you, me, and bigmouth” blindside Rob. Why would you try to include Phillip at all in this plan? And yes, this does seem like way too fast, but if she and Fran are on the outs anyway I guess they might as well do this.
But Fran makes the very valid point that Natalie is weaker and Rob helps them win, so they should blindside her. But she will commit to whatever Kristen wants. Ugh, I hate that these two are such good gameplayers but they’re getting screwed over by Phillip and Rob’s harem of nameless women + Jesus. After Kristen asks who Rob is voting for and he just tells her he doesn’t know, Kristen correctly interprets that that means it’s going to be her anyway.
And we finally finally finally get a Rob confessional. He tells us what we already concluded: Fran revealed she was too smart way back when they first met Rob and Kristen revealed she was too smart when she was looking for the idol, so they have to go. Rob rallies everyone against them and asks them to split their votes 4-3 between them in case they have the idol, and then tells them to make sure they do it correctly.
I WONDER WHY HE EMPHASIZES THAT.
Back to Phillip, who’s talking about everyone’s “hyper state of arousal” and AGAIN wants to know about the vote numbers, and Kristen is awesomely like, “come on, I have something to show you.” I guess she’d be screwed if she didn’t pull him in because he would have helped with the vote split, but no matter what Rob way too effectively blocked Kristen and so she never should have taken the risk in trusting him. It’s just frustrating to see good players go down to other good players while people like Natalie and Jesus slide through as blandly as possible.
Tribal council time: Rob gets the first question, because this is Jeff Probst. Rob, who knows how to play oh so well, strokes Phillip’s ego as a hard worker and they all sort of identify him as a leader, though Jesus notes it wasn’t well received. Fran says a woman will probably go because of strength and Jeff takes the opportunity to talk about Rob some more and ask if he’s nervous. Rob says he is.
So here’s where it gets awesome: Answering a question about Redemption Island, Fran casually mentions that Boston Rob would be fine surviving on his own but isn’t going home. Phillip, perhaps never having learned that people don’t always mean everything they say in his many years of federal agent-ing, FREAKS out and reveals that they had a master plan to vote Rob out. Fran and Kristen deny this and call him crazy, but Phillip reminds them all that he is a federal agent and he doesn’t lie and now he’s voting for “Fransesqua.” Kristen whispers to Fran that they should now vote for Phillip as Rob laughs his ass off.
“Man, this is easy with no Parvati or idiotic Mormons around.”
So Kristen, trying to swing the tribe vote, throws Phillip under the bus as mentally unstable, but Phillip tells the tribe that she has an immunity idol. It is worth noting that this entire time he cannot pronounce ‘Francesca’ to save his life, and also that everyone in the tribe who is not Fran, Kristen, or Phillip is loving this.
Kristen confirms this to Jeff and then Rob confronts her, but Kristen and Fran both say that they were planning on blindsiding Phillip and not Rob. Basically Fran and Phillip both appeal to Rob that the other is lying, and Jeff takes the chance to let Rob run things. Rob says he doesn’t trust Kristen and asks her to take out the idol, then says if she gives him the idol then she’ll stay. This is SUCH a ballsy thing to do and Kristen and Fran, who are at their first tribal council EVER, basically have no idea what to do and kind of lamely refuse. Then it’s time to vote!
Awwwwwwwwwwww
Kristen interestingly doesn’t play the idol and the votes are 4-3-2 for Fran/Kristina/Phillip, so Fran is off to Redemption Island. Man–what an intense first episode! I maintain that Fran and Kristen are good players that got in wayyyy over their heads, so I’m excited to see what they do moving forward. And Phillip: what can I say? I just hope he stays with us for quite some time.
What did you think? Were Rob and Russell even necessary?
71 Comments
Well, if they were such great players, they wouldn’t have fucked up so completely in the very first episode, would they? Sucks to be them.
Guaranteed that lil’ Russell will be sent to Redemption Island very soon. The thing was invented for him, after all. And of course he’ll magically win all of the challenges there, which means he’ll skip the rest of the game and get to be reinserted into the action post-merge. This way he’ll alienate fewer people and have a better chance of making it to the end, so the producers will finally get rid of that huge case of blue balls they’ve had over him since his first season. Ugh. Troll.
Haven’t decided on my favorite yet. I think I like Blurred Butt Girl (is that Natalie?), only because, well, she has a blurred butt.
Phillip’s going to be lots of fun. Too bad they don’t have typewriters there. “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.”
I don’t even bother with the peoples names until a few more have been eliminated. I didn’t even notice the “?” for phillip, that is great.
Redemtion island is great, but it would be even better if the challenge was totally random. Granted we have not seen what it will be like, but it sort of seems like a way for cbs to have even more control over who goes home.
Poor Fran, I know it’s a longshot but I hope she survives RI. Not her fault Phillip is a moron and has NO strategy (now no one will trust him with a secret)
RI seems like a fun concept, as long as they keep it fair. No pitting a woman against comeone like rob in those stupid wrestling mat shoving challenges. Keep the playing field fair and even.
I love ‘Fransequa’,after Nnaoka from last season she is soooo refreshing. Her Phillip faces killed me all night. Kristen was great finding the immunity idol so fast!!! Phillip irked my ever ounce of my soul, but will provide much unintended humor. Russell has to change his pants after winning a puzzle challenge against Rob. I actually like the Redemption Island idea, so many of our favorites could have come back.
After a boring last season this one episode made it all go away. I loved it. You know jeff was peeing his pants at tribal council it was so funny and great. I hope Phillip was a federal agent for another country!
I was definitely in the camp of not liking this Rob/Russell twist but so far this one episode was more entertaining to me than all of last season so…I guess we’ll see what happens. When Russell starts getting more screen time I may change my mind.
Was Probst on fire this episode or what??
Where’s Schoonie?
I get that Phillip didn’t want to be on the “sinking ship” that was the Kristina/Francesca (intelligent woman) alliance, but I have no idea how he thinks he’ll make it further into the game by exposing so many tribal secrets. I did like that Boston Rob saw them both as threats, but I don’t like the parade of blonde women and lack of diversity this season.
I will give Phillip the benefit of the doubt, because he has successfully alienated Kristina, Francesca is on RI, and he might have bought some goodwill with Boston Rob by outing the hidden immunity idol. I believe Phil’s game is to be so dangerous and reckless that someone will want to pull him to the end.
As far as keeping RI “fair and balanced,” I have a feeling that women will be going there for the first few tribals, as the challenges require more strength in the beginning.
And, the most explosive tribal council ever is the one during Survivor Thailand where Ted may/may not have groped Ghandia one night in the shelter, the results of that event permeated through the Episode (see Survivor Thailand episode 4 clips on youtube) and it all eventually exploded.
oh derek please don’t direct people to Survivor Thailand
When people say it’s the worse season, they MEAN it
the location is great, the opening is beutiful, best TC location, and great challenges
but the worst cast ever
except maybe the hilarious shiian
@ Drew, I love that particular TC, the one where Jeff has to tell Clay not to use nicknames and to actually write a name down on the parchment!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ydPyPiqwJY
Funniest moment ever, most dramatic tension ever, and that was four episodes in! As far as the rest of the season, the worst season was the one that just aired, so I have to agree that this one episode bodes well for this season making up for last season’s dismal placement.
I almost died when Phillip blamed his mis-pronunciation of Francesca’s name on his dry mouth & said he was receiving treatment for it!
I’m pretty sure that many anti-psychotic medications have DRY MOUTH as a side effect.
I think they should hide fake immunity idols too.
But did you notice? Phillip spelled her name Francesqua on his vote card. He’s doing that shit on purpose. I hate him.
I can see why people are okay with Rahb and Troll being there, but I hope they both get voted out quickly. How many times is this now? 4 or 5 for Rahb? Between this and Amazing Race he’s become the ‘professional student’ equivalent of reality TV.
Jeff telling everyone that Russell is among the best players ever is really nauseating.
Derek, Buying Rob’s goodwill would have been accomplished if he had told him in private about the idol. Running his big fat gator at tribal council in front of everyone bought him…we shall see. %)
Moorels, Thank’s so much for the re-cap. This is my fav show. Much appreciated.
TC, Robin
I’m loving this season so far! Phillip is certifiable! He made me lol so many times!
There is a TVGasm Fantasy Survivor group if anybody is interested. Last yr there was about 20 folks..this yr..not so much.. It adds a little bit when watching. I get a kick when I guess the correct answers. http://www.fantasysurvivor.net/
TC, Robin
i really wish they would get some new editors on this show. Every time there is one person who has tons of air time, lots of diary sessions shown, they are always the one going home. They edit these episodes after filming the whole thing so if they are worried about screen time, just give the person voted off in a future episode a lot of screen time in a previous episode.
@carol, I agree. Nads could probably tell us more about the editing process since she has spent alot of time in an editing booth, but I must say, especially when it comes to top chef, I can almost tell who is in deep doo doo within the first 5 or so mins of the show. They seem to telegraph it.
Survivor does the same thing, it seems. Although I must say, they use film of snakes and spiders and critter’s oh my! to illustrate a point. Have you ever noticed that whatever creature they use kinda looks like the person and has the tendancies they are alluding to?
See, I didn’t find this episode all that great. It dragged like hell through most of it. And while the tribal council was entertaining, it just didn’t feel like Survivor anymore. One of the things that made this show so great was that the show took itself very seriously, and the contestants took the game very seriously too.
But lately — starting with Coach probably — the show stopped being about the game of Survivor and more about finding extreme personalities. Adding in bullshit elements like the immunity idol and now ‘redemption island’ is part of the watering down of the original concept. Not to mention that the show increasingly has the feeling that it’s actually taking place on the private beach of some luxury hotel.
Oh well. At least the Bachelor has always remained true to itself.
I’m not too thrilled about seeing Rob and Russell back, especially since this season it seems like they have a decent cast of Survivors already. They’re at an advantage compared to the other players, as evidenced by Rob’s domination of Kristen and Francesca. Both of them seem like interesting players, and I hope that Fran can survive Redemption Island to come back for revenge. I also hope Kristen can survive the next Tribal she attends.
All that being said… I think I’m going to like the twist of Redemption Island. This was also an amazing first episode, the game isn’t normally this interesting until after the merge. Hopefully this is just a taste of more to come.
Finally, thanks for taking over the recaps Moorels. It was hilarious, and you nearly caused me to get choked when I read your caption of Russell with his hand in the buff bag: “Rob begins to suspect the game is rigged when he draws a yellow buff and Russell draws an immunity idol.” That was pure gold.
Itchy – I don’t mind the tweaking of the rules to keep things interesting, but I do have to agree with you on some of your other points.
Mostly, I’m wondering where the “survivor” aspect of Survivor went. It seems like life is just getting to easy for the contestants now. I’d love to see a season in which camp accessories weren’t provided. You get a machete, flint, a barrel of rice, and a rain barrel. You’re then told to make do. Rewards are for food that must be eaten after the reward. That’s it.
Im too am with Itchy!
Is this Extreme Makeover Home Edition or Survivor. Keep waiting for Ty Pennington to appear out of the jungle in a loincloth and begin the rennovation – YUMMY! All those tools (Craftsman – not human)- is that “surviving”?
I also agree that RI is a way to ensure Russell has a chance – free pass until the producers are confident that he has a shot at the finals. Hope this cast will all just quit so Russell can FINALLY WIN and we can be rid of him forever – otherwise you know they will keep finding way to bring him back and back and back.
The editing is a tip off as well after seeing Fran’cestquwa on my screen non-stop iI knew it was time to sat Bye-Bye.
Last question – after being in a totally unfamiliar location for 48 hours max and having to sleep-eat-socialize what are the odds you could find a hidden immunity idol the size of a human hand? FIX 4 DRAMA. If I am wrong get this woman on the Amelia Erhart case STAT – I am sure Kris can bring her home.
I strongly disagree with any and all accusations of anything being fixed by the producers. How exactly would they accomplish that without being sued? They have to submit all of the challenges and twists before the season starts. Maybe they have hired Asshole Dubois to know when to do each thing so that it comes at the right time? As Nads has already pointed out on another recap, shows like this have to follow the same rules as game shows/quiz shows.
And Itchy, I think you have forgotten one thing. How could RI be designed to keep Russell around even if he gets voted off? That would mean that once he is voted off, he will have to win EVERY challenge to stay on RI until the merge. In all of his seasons put together, has he won any solo challenges? Wait, I have to go look. In HvV, he won 2. In Samoa, he won 1. Not too great. His strength came from manipulating the vote and aquiring HIIs, neither of which he can do on RI. So he’ll probably get knocked out by Stephanie who will get voted off right after him for being his little bitch.
And Kristin (was that her name? Or Kristina?) was talking us through her strategy when she was looking for the HII. There has to be landmarks of some kind and it has to be either hanging or buried. So she started looking in places that qualified. And clearly she didn’t sleep-eat-socialize or she wouldn’t have been as much of an outsider. She spent her time looking for the HII while the others were bonding. If they would go back to the way clues worked during the first season of exile island, this wouldn’t happen. Remember when they had to swim across the river or bay like 12 times to get all the clues?
I am excited for this season, but if they vote off all of the promising people, it might get boring. But I’ll still watch. I love this show. I’ll watch even the bad seasons. I know this about myself. I have seen every episode since about half way through season 1. I had two co-workers who would discuss it at work and I used to jokingly rag on them for watching it. They called me out that I couldn’t judge them if I had never watched. So I watched an episode. And was hooked. The only episode I have missed was the one where michael burned himself up. I had a swing dance class that night and would video it. SF had a rolling blackout which reset my video machine and it didn’t record. Yes, that’s right. I quit my dance class. I am a survivor addict. KNOW THAT!
“Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.” Drymouth, yeah riiiight. More like psychobabble. Take Philip off of his meds and this show really could be about surviving! Kinda makes me wonder why he REALLY left the feds, and don’t anyone quote what he said in his CBS interview about needing better pay. If this is the kind of person the feds employ at any given time, then it totally explains why the government is such a mess.
Only on page one and already laughing my arse off: “Rob begins to suspect the game is rigged when he draws a yellow buff and Russell draws an immunity idol.” BWWWWAAAAHHH. It’s funny cuz it’s true.
Snootch, never forget that the ONLY reason Russell made it the finals both times was because there was no way in hell he could win — he made himself the safest bet to bring to the end, since he’d never receive any votes. The same will be true for this season. And this is why he’s the worst thing that ever happened to Survivor.
The Redemption Island thing was definitely designed with him in mind. I’m not saying it’s rigged though. But it’s definitely a way to give him an extra chance, since they know he’ll be a target.
I actually started watching Survivor with the season when the one gal was the last one remaining on her tribe. Then I went back and watched the others. And haven’t missed a season either. And I’ll keep watching. But none of the recent seasons have come even close to the magic of the earlier seasons.
I agree with Itchy and Considerthis. The producers want Russell on the show so they’ll do whatever they have to do to keep him there. I also think they are determined to get Russell a win but Russell has to do his part.
Fran was funny. Idol woman was smart. Rob’s on a team with losers so it doesn’t bode well for him. I suspect ROB will be going to redemption island first.
Your recap was entertaining but I still miss Schoonie. Schoonie always had a lot of anger in his recaps. I always felt as if Schoonie’s hand was going to come out of my computer’s screen and slap me in the face at some point. I miss that. Try to work some anger into your recaps. Also, Schoonie always analyzed players’ strategies and motives. Work more of that in. When Schoonie wrote these sometimes I felt as if I were reading a dissertation. Think about going egghead once in awhile. Finally, include more pictures of Russell. Russell IS the STAR of the show.
I will not watch this show as long as little Russell is on it. I don’t know what the Redemption Island gimmick is and if it means Russell can keep coming back I’m outta here. I’ve been a faithful watcher of Survivor since Richard Hatch was running around in his all together, but if they can’t come up with anything else to draw viewers in than bringing that little troll back again and again then add me to the list of lost viewers. Unless of course, they bring back Elizabeth Hasselbeck and make Russell have to stay on a team with her. I just might watch that!
I think Rob benefits more from the Redemption Island twist than Russell does; the man is a beast in challenges, and none of the new players stand out as a match for him yet in that capacity. Then again, Russell’s few solo immunity wins have all been clutch wins that kept him in the game, so I guess time will tell if the pressure simply makes him that much stronger and more focused.
I am on board with the people commenting on the Rob/Russell caption. That had me laughing out loud, rolling around on my couch for five minutes straight; awesome recap. I’d ignore Mister Dangerous’s advice: you aren’t Schoonie, so don’t try to write like Schoonie. I’m sure the more recapping experience you get, the more comfortable you’ll become with exploring the different aspects of the show in a hilarious way. You’re off to a great start.
Hooray! Mr. Dangerous is back! Let the 2011 Russell Love Fest begin!
@Snootch – Who would sue? Who would know if a sneak PA was told too loudly whisper to the key grip where the idol was while Kris/Kristin?Kristina was waiting for her confessional?? Plus Burnett has an IRONCLAD non disclosure in tact meaning if anybody associated with Survivor (production/players) ever breathes an non-approved word about the show a 5 million dollar lawsuit will be there to greet them – just ask Stacey the lawyer from Season 1.
I applaud your love/defense of the show and I too am a superfan. While I hope with all my heart Survivor is a pure/honest show. I have to keep reminding myself it is a TV show and without manipulation, suggestion and editing is it about as exciting a test pattern.
Needle meet haystack and on with show – ENJOY
@ 2muchbravo: I, too, was going to skip this season because of that ugly little troll (sorry Mr. D, I really, really, really don’t get your attraction to him — I’d rather have sex with a pile of vomit — it would be less, well, vomitous). However, since one of our awesome outrigger girls is on the show this season (you barely saw her — Julie Wolfe — but hopefully she’ll be featured and fierce instead of overlooked in favor of the 1,249 blond bimbos on the show) we’ve decided to just put up with the Russell annoyance factor (and FF whenever needed). So for now, I’m in despite the idjit factor.
Great job on the recap, Moorels.
I agree with itchy’s post in which he says “the show stopped being about the game of Survivor and more about finding extreme personalities.” I am so disgusted the contestants are given so much to work with these days. Half of the appeal of the show had been the uniqueness of the contestants (not unique in the insane sense,) and the actual work at having to make the camp and find the food while competing in the game. That kind of struglle changes the social dynamics considerably.
But considerthis…the “IRONCLAD non disclosure” is only employed by the producers when it’s convenient…otherwise they would be suing Repulsive Russell right now for revealing the order of elimination on BOTH of his seasons.
Considerthis: Well considering that we are on season 22 now, if the producers were rigging it, at some point someone somewhere would have slipped up and there would have been a contestant that sued over it. I know conspiracy theories are popular, but these types of shows are too well regulated for me to buy into them.
Zbird: You know one of the contestants? Cool! My husband’s friend has been trying to get on the show for years now. I’d love to know someone on the show.
I had no idea Russell revealed the order of elimination for both seasons. When & thru what media outlet did he do this? I am really surprised MB would allow a spoiler/disclosure of that magnitude to just slide by – and twice yet. WOW
I do not think the producers are continously rigging every episode in 22 seasons but let’s face it – it has been 22 seasons and like itchy said it is a way more character driven show now and maaaybee just maaaybe a Survivor staffer might let a teeney weenie little detail slip that might give a likeable or unlikeable “character” an advantage. It is not out of the realm of possibilty and no need to phone Oliver Stone – just my opinion…;)
Here’s the latest on the Russell scandal (which only broke a few weeks ago.)
“While contestant Russell Hantz is claiming he never leaked spoilers to a fan site, there are now email documents claiming otherwise.
Jim Early, the man who posted the spoilers for Survivor: Samoa and Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains claims he has emails between the two that are evidence. The emails were sent between September and October 2009 while Survivor: Samoa was airing.
Early met Russell through a Survivor fan site and is only coming forward because Russell is now accusing other members of the cast.”
When asked, Mark Burnett claimed he didn’t know anything about this yet…because he needs to buy time to decide how to protect his favorite boy.
@ Mister D, I think it’s a little unfair to say that the new recapper should discuss contestant strategies when it’s only Episode 1. The early strategy should be to stay in the majority and those that aren’t get voted out. That is simply what happened to Fran. I’m looking forward to the bloom coming off the rose regarding Rob & Russell being back, although Rob’s team seems to be more in awe than Russell’s.
“Early met Russell through a Survivor fan site and is only coming forward because Russell is now accusing other members of the cast.”
I am confused. That seem’s backward’s to me. Why would Russell even accuse another cast member if someone didn’t say he was leaking in the first place?
TC, Robin
I know Natalie through the grapevine, though not personally. She’s a well-adjusted, athletic, hardworking, universally well-liked, nice, trustworthy young woman. So I expect the show to paint her as a dumb, slutty bimbo.
Wait, isn’t Natalie the one with the blurred butt? I think she’s nice too. ;-D
I didn’t realize there was a scandal about the spoilers. If it’s true that Russell’s the source, it not only already fits with who he is, but give me yet another reason to despise him: people who delight in spoiling things for others are just slime.
I found out about the spoilers when someone posted a link to them here on the gasm. Yeah, I had to go look. It had every elimination in order including the winner. Ruined the season for me. I wish I would have had the willpower not to look. Anyway, apparently TPTB over at Survivor found out who did the leaking on that forum. I’m not sure which came first, but that guy pointed the finger at Russell and Russell pointed the finger at someone else. I thought it was Shannon, but wasn’t that guy on last season and not the previous two? He was the racist guy that called Sash gay right before getting voted out. Or am I confusing the name?
The Internet guy got slapped with a lawsuit, and he named Russell as his informant. Russell then tried to do “Not me. It was someone else.” Only now there is evidence being presented…and Mark Burnett has yet to weigh in.
I hope ‘Federal Agent’ Phil and his pink panties stick around a while because he is a riot. No one is going to team up with him since his strategy seems to entail calling everyone out on their shit. That was the funniest tribal council I’ve seen in a while.
I understand wanting to get rid of Rob and that he’s a threat but I think Kristina (Kristen) blew her load too soon. She was so proud of herself for finding the idol and was so anxious to use it to show what type of player she is in the game but with more females than males it seems like you would keep Rob around a few weeks. Like the guy or not, he works his ass off in challenges and is a good asset.
I have been a huge fan of Schoonie’s recaps of Survivor for years but I enjoyed this. When Philip says “former Federal agent” he was probably screening luggage at the airport or checking for unallowed fruit and plants. What a loon. Love him, but for now I’m rooting for Kristina’s boobs FTW.
I rewatched teh episode and Phillip stated that he worked for SEVERAL government agencies…..why does that make me really feel like he is a loser(well I already thought that)
I enjoyed all your comments. The guy at realityblurred really hates Russell so he has every single accusation and counter accusation but I don’t see it coming to anything because Russell is the STAR of SURVIVOR. SURVIVOR needs a man like Russell. Plus, Russell brings a SEX VIBE with him that is lacking in many of these contestants.
p.s. My allegiance will always be to Schoonie first but I found your recap VERY funny Moorels. There was some funny stuff in it. That bit about Russell pulling an IDOL out of the bag was top-notch. I just want you to be more like Schoonie but not exactly like him. “Similar but different.”
What exactly was the deal with the question mark on Phillip’s federal agent description? Hmm… if he was playing the crazy just to get to the end, I would expect him to act normal in confessionals and let the audience in on the gag. But he is acting as crazy in the confessionals as he is in the camp. As Colonel Klink would say: Verrrrry interestink.
I think that the “hidden” immunity idols killed this show. How many are there per season anyway? 600?
Snootchy, maybe Phillip is a method actor and stays in character 24/7. If he keeps calling people out on their shit, he’ll probably go soon, but it would be great to keep him around if only for that reason.
I remember there was a scandal about the producers fixing the results way back in the first season. Somebody claimed that they were pressured to keep the old guy–was it Rudy? The old military guy–around over some female contestant. I don’t think anything came of it.
If they were/are fixing the results, it could have major ramifications because there is prize money involved. That’s what happened in the ’50s on the $64,000 Question or whatever it was called. They fixed it so this WASP, Ivy League guy beat the Jewish guy because he had won too many times, as had the Jews in general. They even fixed it so Dr. Joyce Brothers won, because she was a cute li’l gal who knew a lot about baseball. Since they were basically stealing prize money from the losers, they got in big trouble.
This episode didn’t do it for me. A little boring – except for Lunatic Phillip, that is. And oh my eyes! Phillip standing around in his tighty-whiteys(really, tighty-reds)…UGH!
Pixielated, It’s funny that you should mention that. I just saw the movie about it a couple weeks ago. Apparently NBC gave many folks the answers too. Geritol was their sponser ( back then a show had one sponser) and geritol made more $ when a gentile was winning. In the end, the guy who won the most $ lost alot and , well, NBC came out on top. Geritol on the other hand…. I liked the movie.
I don’t think for one min that Survivor is fixed either. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to watch it. But, I do think that they are very good at manipulation. For example, I think that they purposely put what they think are weak and not very saavy people in there to be picked off right away and we won’t notice because we are focusing on the folks they think will go somewhere.Or are more entertaining. cough..phillip..cough. Althugh I don’t think he is long for this game. Before the merge for sure, inmo..
TC, Robin
I just thought of something. Is there a possibility of no merge? For example, if a tribe keeps sending their own into the “duel” they could possibly just eat each other alive. Also, if there is only one left from a tribe on redemption island and they have to duel with a tribemember from the other tribe, and lose..no more tribe. ??
Robin
I know from talking to one of the former contestants (Kimmy) that, while they don’t tell contestants things, TPTB DO ask leading questions that can sometimes help plant thoughts and also give the producers the responses they want for the confessionals. It helps them create the “characters.”
@Cattyfan, Planting thoughts..not sure if I like that, but then again, the winner should be able to outwit a producer that has had a bed to sleep in and lot’s of food too.lol
I am sure that they ask certain questions to keep us updated and make a smooth edit. I mean, if they let Phillip just start talking about stuff with free reign , I am certain we would hear about how cool his shoe phone was when he was a G-Man.. %)
TC, Robin
Someone just emailed me. This is what they said. If this is true, I have to go back to Redemtion 101. I was under the impression that the winner of the battle came back. Otherwise, to me, this makes no sense. The first person never comes back? Nobody comes back? I have it all backwards if this is the case.
TC, Robin
“I don’t think you understand. When someone (Francesca) goes to redemption island, they stay there for 3 days. After the next vote another person (let’s say David) goes to redemption island and they duel. Whoever wins (lets say for example Francesca) stays at redemption island. She don’t go back to the game right away. The loser goes home. After another three days when someone else is voted out (let’s hope Phillip), Francesca duels him. The winner once again only gets to stay on redemption island and the loser goes home for good. This repeats itself five or ten times probably until late in the game when the one person who has managed to stay on redemption island rejoins the tribe and gets a second chance. This makes it really challenging for Francesca, because in order for her to have a shot at returning to the game, she will have to duel everyone that is voted out, and win every time. Obviously the people voted out later will have a higher chance of getting to return to the game.”
Someone comes back Robin… at the merge most likely…..
And it will be the person who wins the final battle at redemption Island. It could be the first person, anyone in between, or the last person voted off… as long as they win the final challenge at redemption. No one goes back the very next week….
The ultimate RI winner will come back later on — this means that this person (I’m guessing it will be Russell, but we shall see) will miss most of the rest of the season (and, if it’s Russell, have less of an opportunity to alienate the others). Why do I think it’s Russell? Because the whole ‘redemption’ theme was clearly designed with him in mind? Why? Who the fuck knows? At this point, Russell is Survivor’s Gokey.
I think RI is going to suck and drain even more energy from this season. Unless we’re truly expected to be excited about this bullshit ‘clash of the titans’ trope between Rob and Russell.
Also, I was pretty disgusted when that horsefaced woman found the idol so quickly. Didn’t the producers promise us that the idol would be harder to find this season? And that the contestants would really need the clues in order to find them?
Somewhere along the line this show switched its target audience from an adult market to a tween market. That’s all I can figure.
I’m pretty sure they said that the last person standing on RI joins the group at the merge. If so, they should just call it “Swing-Vote-That-Will-Never-Be-Higher-Than-Fourth-Place” Island.
Now I don’t like the RI idea, I thought it would be like Real WOrld/Raod Rules Challenge(don’t ask the season). The contestants would go off and fight it out and the team/person(gosh its been a while) who won got to come back to the house. I was under the impression that you get voted out, lived on RI until the next elimination and fight to come back to camp. It appears that the person will come back later, that puts the RI player at a huge disadvantage
They should be at a disadvantage – they got voted out as in FAIL. Why make it easy for them? The longer they are in the game the more advantage at RI. If nothing else, it’s motivation to play harder, which would ultimately improve the game overall *let’s hope*. Although I hate Russell and am very, very sick of seeing his ugly mug on my screen, I love me some Boston Rob. Don’t care if it’s his fourth or fiftieth time on, his snark is great. Loved his confessional about playing with amateurs.
Moli…if they did it your way, the season would last until August.
Remember when Survivor was about not only surviving the votes, but actually surviving? When the contestants actually went into the woods foraging for food? Remember Susan saying the “fisherman” would be better off finding tapioca than trying to fish because they weren’t very good at it? Remember eating rats because you were so hungry? Or killing poor random pigs in the woods? Not sure when they cancelled Survivor and put in this imposter (anyone else almost stroke when they pulled out the nails to help build the shelter?), but I want Survivor back.
Actually, didn’t Boston Rob kill that Survivor in the fourth season when he sat on his ass and wouldn’t do anything because he knew production wouldn’t let them starve. So him and his little leech friends acted like jerks, booted the only person who knew anything about survival because he was no fun, and then lucked into a serendipitous tribe switch where he was no longer cannon fodder.
OMG, the worst leech season was Africa. That season made me so angry every week!
Vallegirl, I have to be honest: I forget each Survivor season approximately 5 minutes after the end of the reunion show.
Heh. I think that’s the LAST season I do remember. Mostly because I liked Hunter and his Sam the Eagle profile and really, really dislike unctuous, slimy, homophobic Boston Rob but because of a couple of serendipitous coincidences, I have to keep looking at Rob’s creepy, fetal face. At least in commercials since I haven’t watched Survivor since the last time Ozzy was there.
Oooh Valle, you use awesome adjectives. And you describe Bawston Rawb to a T.
@Itchy – Me too! Schoonie’s ability to recall past strategies and situations never ceased to amaze me.
Great recap, Moorels!
OMG…this is too funny. I have just recently discovered this website and I love it. The articles are hilarious and so right on. I can’t stant RUSSELL…I think he’s a total dic* head and hope he leaves REALLY early. My hubby, Russell, on the other hand loves him. I think eh ahs a man crush on him or something. I love reading all the commentaries and hope you keep it up. Oh, BTW, I love Bahston Rahb…he’s one of my faves ever, next to the cowboy!
I did some checking around on Phillip out of curiosity, and it turns out he was only a “Special Agent” for 3 years in the ’80s. And he was the computer nerd guy. Not the guy who keeps all the secrets, but the guy who teaches computers to the actual special agents.
starcasm.net/archives/86925
How can Phillip be CEO of that company? The guy is fracking nuts! How can a crazy person run a company. Hmm… then again, Qadhafi is totally insane and he runs a country. Nevermind. Move along, nothing to see here.