TV Social
Recent Comments
- Knitwit: I found you
- Classy Drunk: Thanks for the prayer Spike!!! You never let us down!
- AliceinPopLand: I CAN ACCESS THE SITE!!!! yay! and my night in call center hell is now awesome!
- Peggies118: OMG! Poor little Mia! What a precious heart...
- annie: I was able to get an Avatar on Trash Talk TV (Butters!) here’s how I did it: 1. You make your profile 2. I...
- Clair: Maybe it stands for “Oh my GOSH Insider”….
- crazy rooster: Why wont it google the link? Take pity on lazy people. And post the link. I have ADD. What did I come...
- labowner: When I log in it takes me to my account page. How do I get it to go to TTTV? Fucking weird – passion...
- Kim: The name of this show is highly offensive-to use God’s name in an abbreviated form for the title of...
- itchy: Also, speaking personally, TVGasm has been HIGHLY DETRIMENTAL to my productivity. Fortunately I don’t have a...
- Knitwit: I found you
-
Previously: BORED.
The seven remaining Survivors return to camp. None of them are even remotely surprised by the double quit (or whatever you call it) because they’ve known it was going to happen for days, of course. After they joke for a bit about naming the chicken “Kelly-Nay” because the quitters are chickens (GET IT?), it’s right back to the business of being boring.
“I put in all that effort to escape from Shambo, and then what? I end up on THIS shitty season. Great. Just great.”
Sash lets us know that he’s definitely the person who benefits the least from the Great Quit Off of 2010, since he now has no one to lead around. However, with Benry, Fabio and Dan on one side and Jane, Holly and Chase on the other, he knows that he’s now an important swing vote. By the way, how in the hell is Dan still around? I guess because he’s the least threatening alliance member possible. He’s totally getting fifth, you guys. Bet that shit.
The next morning, Sash tells the rest of the men (everyone but Holly and Jane) that he’ll be playing the idol this round. His logic is that having it puts a target on his back, so being on even ground with everyone else will let them all know that he’s a true free agent. “I’m going to be number four no matter where I go,” he says. Um, isn’t that a reason to KEEP the idol until the last possible moment and then use it to create a final three alliance? This season is the worst.
Chase takes Sash to the side, telling him that he wants them to work together. “It’s in our best interests to go with the women,” Chase says. Sash states the obvious: if they go to the end with Jane, they’re losing the game. Discussion turns to the upcoming reward, and they agree that the winner should take Holly. Chase tells Sash that if he wins and there’s a second spot, he’ll get it since he hasn’t won a food reward in a long time. Since these discussions only become plot points if they are broken, you can pretty much guess what’s about to happen.
“You do realize the laws of editing now require me to screw you, right?”
Reward Challenge. Today we’re going to get a second chance to revisit all of the largely shitty challenges from this largely shitty season. The first four people to crawl through a mud pit and then bounce a ball off a shield into a barrel move onto the second round. That round involves retrieving a key, and then (hey!) throw some beanbags onto (you guessed it) a barrel. The top two finishers move onto the final round. The first person to dig up three rings with a paddle and toss them onto some nails wins the reward, which is a trip to a resort, along with a hot meal and a shower. What, no movie this week? You guys couldn’t get Black Swan to pony up the dough for a ballet-themed challenge? Psh.
Chase, Jane, Benry and Holly move on from the first round. In the second round, Chase is the first one done and Benry is right behind him, so they’re in the final round together. Shockingly, Chase beats out Benry to win the reward,which we all knew was going to happen because he has to win it in order to leave Sash behind, of course.
And leave Sash behind is exactly what he does, predictably choosing Jane and Holly to go along with him. Oh, and he also offers Jeff Probst a hug.
“Yes, Chase. Always.”
Way to go Chase! Now Sash gets to return to camp with the entire opposing alliance. This fact has not escaped Sash, who takes the opportunity to ask Dan, Fabio and Benry what they’re thinking. “I know I’ll be the fourth man down the list with you guys,” he tells them. Dan fails to see what the problem is and gets weirdly confrontational about it, all ”and what’s the problem with that?” Sash points out that only two or three people get to actually go to the final. “ So what you’re saying is that you might side with them?” Dan responds, because he is an odd, odd man. “It’s difficult to trust Sash after what he did to Brenda,” Dan points out, “but I also have no other choices.” True that. Now go sit in your oversized throne.
Over at the reward spa, Chase and the ladies tour the hotel room where they’ll be staying. They marvel in the mirror over how much weight they’ve lost and how dirty they look. And then they find the outdoor shower, with sexy results!
I’m sure this is exactly what the producers were hoping for.
When it’s Jane’s turn to shower, Holly and Chase take the opportunity to discuss how dumb it was for him to bring her along. “I’ve been a little flighty throughout the game,” Chase says, in the understatement of the year. “I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me.” I hope it does.
At camp, the four guys decide that the time has come to kill the final chicken so that they can enjoy a meal too. When Jane returns from reward the next day, she’s completely batshit about it. She even makes a little grave for the chicken, complete with a tiny cross gravestone and a heart made of seashells. My notes say the following: ”Wow, that is some crazy shit.” I think that about covers it.
FOR REAL.
Holly brings Chase and Jane over to discuss how to get Sash to their side. “We have to make him think we’ll take him to the finals over Jane,” he says, “then we’ll drop him.” That’s kind of heartless, especially for Chase. I was expecting him to be all, “Let’s tell him we’ll buy him a bunny rabbit if he makes friends with us! Then, if he’s still not convinced, we’ll promise him eskimo kisses.”
Around the campfire, Benry tries to talk to Chase on the down low about potentially aligning. “I really don’t care who we vote out, as long as it’s not me. I’ll even vote out Fabio,” he tells Chase. That’s all the information we get; this episode is very weird. It’s a bunt of random little vignettes that have no context.
Chase apologizes to Sash for leaving him behind and going on the reward, and Sash blows right over it to talk about the game. Wow, what a captivating plot point that was! Lots of interesting stuff going on this season. Talk turns to a potential endgame alliance between the two of them. Sash would like Chase to swear on his parents (one of whom is dead, mind you), that he won’t vote for Sash at all for the rest of the game. Chase agrees to this. I’m not sure how much Chase’s word is worth when he just promised you a reward and then left you behind, but whatever.
“I’m totally not going to lie to you again. Back rub, anyone? Foot massage? Hug?”
Also, aren’t the more tempting final three partners really in the other alliance? Sash would beat the hell out of both Benry and Dan; all he’d have to do is take out Fabio at some point and the million dollars is his. On the other hand, Chase, Holly and Jane all have pretty strong arguments for the win, and some friends on the jury.
Holly walks up into the discussion (she’s kind of everywhere all of the time, isn’t she?) and they agree that Benry needs to go next; Chase tells them that he offered to vote out Fabio, so he’ll pretty much betray anybody. Benry notices that Sash is off in the woods with the other alliance and approaches to bust up their conversation. He tells Holly and Jane that he’s definitely down to vote off Fabio, he just needs to be kept in the loop. He’s clearly very desperate; it’s kind of gross, actually.
Immunity Challenge. Today the Survivors are going to be tethered to a rope that’s twisted around a post. The have to navigate the rope and unravel it; the idea is to unravel enough rope to grab a bag of puzzle pieces about twenty yards away. The first three people to retrieve their pieces move on to the final round and have to put together the puzzle, which is a weird three dimensional box kind of thing.
Fabio’s the first person to get his coins, and Benry and Sash are right behind him. As you might guess, Benry and Fabio are way, way out of their depth when it comes time to solve the puzzle, and Sash just sort of breezes by them and wins immunity for himself. This pretty much means he’s a lock for the final five, since next week is his last opportunity to use the idol.
“I have no idea what I’m even doing.”
After a commercial, Sash brags to us about being in control. Since he’s the exact opposite of “in control”, this comes off as more than a little grating. Plus, the dude has ONE tone of voice, and it’s not exactly intimidating, so maybe quit trying so hard. “I’ve been sandbagging at challenges and only giving about sixty or seventy percent,” he says, “and that’s why people like Benry and Fabio are in trouble and won’t get to the final.” And then Sash’s pants spontaneously combust, because he is a giant liar.
“Has anyone else noticed that Dan is still here?”
Holly, Chase and Sash decide that they’re going to vote out Benry, but make him (and Dan) think that they’re voting out Fabio. When Benry shows up to make sure that Fabio’s the plan, they tell him yes, but that they need to make Fabio think that they’re voting off Jane. Benry thinks Fabio won’t buy that; he wants to tell him they’re voting off Holly instead, since that’s a more likely scenario. You following so far? Actually voting off Benry, making Benry think it’s Fabio, making Fabio think it’s Holly. It’s fairly complicated, especially for these people.
“I think our four way alliance is going to stay strong to the end,” Jane tells us. Sash tells her that she’s “like a second mom” to him, and it comes off incredibly fakey and disingenuous, like pretty much everything Sash says, but of course Jane eats it up because she loves this kind of shit. “You can’t backstab your second mom, right?” he says. Gross.
Tribal Council. The jury enters, now with added quitter. “Chase, do you worry about being a physical threat?” Probst asks. Chase says yes, but also points out that he has yet to win individual immunity. Probst asks the same question to Fabio, who also says yes, and then Benry, who says the following: “Yes, I’m concerned about being a physical threat. Also, I am concerned.” Man, these people are so charming and captivating. And they have so much to say!
“Jane, is Fabio a target?” Probst asks. “Yeah, he is. He’s not the smartest on the puzzles, but he’s a definite physical threat.” The jury chuckles, as does Fabio, who to his credit has pretty good humor about it. Hey, at least the guy has some sort of self awareness. That’s more than we can say for most people on this show.
After Sash says some more bullshit about how he likes having immunity because it makes people talk to him, it’s already time to vote. What was that Tribal Council, three minutes long? We don’t see any of the votes, which hasn’t happened in a very long time. I’m guessing it’s because nobody said anything even remotely interesting when they cast them.
The first vote is for Holly; the second is for Fabio, who is visibly shaken when he sees it. There’s another for Fabio, but then the rest are for Benry and he’s out. This is a doubly nice move because Fabio’s allies voted for him, so now he’s pretty much on his own. Benry’s shocked to be blindsided; he mutters curse words to himself as his torch is snuffed.
Adios, dirt squirrel!
I’m guessing that if Fabio doesn’t win next week, that’ll be it for him, and then we’ll head into the finale with the least interesting Final Five ever. But hey, then this season will be over, so…there’s that, am I right?
31 Comments
So suprised you did not mention how when Probst introduced Nonk & PK at Tribal Council he attempted to use the word quit or quitter as much as possible.
The entire cast thinks Jane is a lock and would destroy them in the finals. I guess I just don’t see it – I think she is a good player and might be able to grab a jury vote or 2 but a runaway victory?? IMO – Holly is most likely to get a landslide win.
Dan just might make it to the finals – after all nobody would give him a vote (oh wait Nonk might just to f**k with Probst/Burnett some more).
Sashay is 2 cocky and should have teamed up with the boys as to your point he could sign his name on the million dollar check going up against any of the 3 stooges @ the finale.
You are correct in assuming that no one said anything interesting while they voted. Seriously, watch rhe CBS voting vid, especially if you’re having trouble sleeping at night. In every facet, this is the most boring cast ever.
And word on Sash having a monotonous voice, as well as RussellHantzing/Martying by saying he’s in control all the time. Holly is WAY smarter than he in strategy.
The reason why Dan resented Sash’s “offer” (if you could really call it that) after they lost the reward is that Sash was incredibly awkward and stupid about it. He essentially said “So, you guys who I normally never talk to, if you ever wanna tell me your secrets/plans in the game that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know, I’d be extremely happy to listen to them and then betray your trust later. Sounds good right?” Sash is an idiot.
I think it’s hilarious that this game is about being outwitted, outplayed, and outsmarted…yet so many contestants get ANGRY when they get voted off. They must all have giant-sized egos…which explains why so many are unlikeable.
I think that this line actually explains everything about this season: ” I’m guessing it’s because nobody said anything even remotely interesting when they cast them.” I know you were referring to casting their votes, but I think this goes right back to when they were cast on the show/snoozefest.
But thanks for keepin’ on keepin’ on, Schoonie. You rawk.
I would like to point out that Alina out-hotted Brenda this last tribal council. She must have been really annoying for all the guys to want to get rid of her. And keep Jane in her place.
I do believe that Holly has figured out how to play the game — she’s everywhere, listening in, observing, but not pissing anyone off, and pretty much going unnoticed as a threat. She’d be a satisfying winner at least.
Also, where is Fabio studying? Stanford? University of Phoenix? MIT? Partytown Community College? Inquiring minds want to know.
This is the first Survivor episode ever where I kept wishing it was only 21 minutes (I watch without the commercials, so the ‘hour-long’ format is only actually 42 minutes). Lame cast, lame challenges. It’s kind of disheartening how low Survivor has fallen.
Sorry, Schoonie, but I have to correct you on one thing. When Sash asks Chase to promise on his deceased dad, Chase refused and said he wouldn’t swear anything on his dad. He also seemed to be slightly offended that Sash would even ask. Not that it will matter ultimately because that might create an interesting conversation and we all know those aren’t happening this season!
Am I the only one that gets slightly pissed off every time Dan appears on the screen. And if he speaks, I just yell SHUT UP at the screen. He doesn’t deserve anyone’s attention. My husband and I joke during the challenge explanations and insert things like “And that is where Dan will sit down” etc. He is so useless. It really pissed me off when he went on that reward challenge that Holly gave up. Everyone was saying Nay should have stepped up (and she should have), but so should have Dan. He has contributed ZERO to that camp since day 1. He sits around and benefits from everyone else’s effort. What a piece of shit. On the other hand, if you want to win a mil, that is the guy to sit next to.
And I love Fabio. He is such a doof, but he knows he is a doof and is able to laugh at himself. That is a very likeable attitude.
Thanks Schoonie for trying to make lemonade out of this big bunch of lemons. Again.
Blandest group ever, or at least as far back as I can remember. At this point I’m rooting for Dengue Fever or Scurvy. That said, my hat’s off to Holly, who went from being a batshit crazy pariah on the verge of quitting or being voted out to being a pretty good strategist and great social player. Love to see her or Judd (I can’t bring myself to call the guy “Fabio”) win, but either way by the time the calendar hits 2011 I’ll have forgotten this season anyway. The only one anyone will remember is Naonka, who will be known as the crazy bitch who quit with 11 days to go, and who by virtue of being so hated was a lock for the final three.
Snootch: Dan couldn’t give up his spot on the reward, since he wasn’t on the winning team. He just got lucky and went along for the ride. Not that an asshole who’d bring $1600 alligator shoes to Survivor and then proceed to do absolutely nothing for the entire season would ever give up his spot on a reward anyway. So yeah, he’s one of the major contributors to this being such a suckass season. And just you wait — he’ll be in the final, since the only one he might have possibly beat would have been Naonka, and her sorry ass is in the jury now.
Schoonie:
Of course you’re right.
I agree with JasonR regarding Holly. She seems to have gone from crazypants to Dr. Joyce Brothers in less than a month. Maybe, she’s one of those people who can step up and lead when she’s forced too? [She would probably be great in combat.] Good for her and good for us because, at least, she’s bringing something to the show. It doesn’t really matter who wins but Jane, Holly and Sash are the only ones that have played any game. But to be honest I would be fine with Dan winning.
Thanks for the photo of Chase on page 2. He’s starting to look like something out of Tom of Finland.
I can’t believe this season is so bad I’m rooting for either a Holly/Fabio win. WTF?
Dan sucks. Sash sucks.
That is all.
This episode sucked. Thanks for hanging in on this dreadful season Schoonie. During the Immunity Challenge did anyone actually see Dan? It seemed like the editors deliberately cut him out which leads me to believe he was in fact sitting on his oversized throne while the whole thing went down. I might actually be rooting for him since he’s managed to slide by for this long.
Surely Probst and the producers know what a bust this season is??!! I used to be all keyed up when Survivor night came around, but now I actually forget about it some days and then when I remember it is almost like a chore to watch it. I, like leenie, am rooting for Fabio or Holly and I couldn’t stand either one of them at the beginning of the season. Never thought I would root for the “pee-er” who polluted one of the water challenges.
Schoonie, whatever drugs you are taking to make you stick with this are probably quite marketable. I think I would be a good customer!
Don’t hold out too much hope for next season either. Apparently, Mrs. Dangerous (i.e., Russell Hantz) and Boston Rob will both be given immunity from elimination up until the merge, while they play at being leaders of their tribes.
Which of course will completely change the game of Survivor and turn it into one of the silly Interville competitions where two teams from two different towns dress up in silly costumes while performing super lame carnival challenges.
Itchy – you are just making that up, right???!!
Well, I didn’t make it up, I just read it somewhere. The person who wrote it might have made it up, but then, it’s the only thing that makes sense — both of them would have to be protected, for a while, anyway. But yeah, this might become the first Survivor season I’ve ever skipped. Problem is, there’s nothing to take its place.
What complete and utter BS!! You know the worst part?? I’ll watch it anyway because I have no life.
what leenie said.
Also, LMAO @ “mrs. dangerous” ahahahahaha
I think that if Dan makes it to the end he has a shot. He really hasn’t done much to anybody and he is totally sailing under the radar.
HEY!
Our married names would be Mr. & Mr. Dangerous-Hantz. So, he would be Mr. Dangerous-Hantz and I would be Mr. Dangerous-Hantz too.
I read what Itchy read about Russell’s return. Evidently, this is the way it is played in (some) other countries. CBS should just rename the show Russell Hantz’s SURVIVOR and be done with it. Hopefully, RH will be able to do challenge “commentary” and keep the jury in line too.I think they should give RH a big stick SO he can threaten anybody that gets out of line on the jury.
Maybe while they’re at it, they can give Russell TWO big sticks so he can use them as stilts and look taller. Maybe then and only then will his Napoleon complex go away.
The only good part about the thought of another season of the Russell Show is knowing how pleased you’ll be, Mr. D.
Now, if they’d have put him up against Parvati instead, THAT would be an excellent show.
omg Itchy-just because you “read it somewhere” does not make it so. You are not on the Starship Enterprise. This is why I hate the internet. People repeating things they “read somewhere”.
@nyccookie – I know you aren’t new to this site. All of us talk about stuff we read elsewhere. So leave Itchy alone!
@itchy – I’ve got your back, bro.
Now can I have some of that goat-fart cheese?
wow–did not mean any harm. I guess it is just my journalism degree that makes me long for the days when sources were checked. Sorry.
I was just teasing.
No worries.
It’s okay cookie, I take what I read with a grain of salt (and usually I avoid reading about this kind of thing anyway, because I don’t like spoilers). I was mostly repeating it because I knew it would make Mr. Dangerous swoon. He’s Russell Hantz’s BIGGEST fan.
And Snootch, you’re certain you want my back? That’s the smelly end, what with all the goat-fart cheese… I’d kill for a decent cheddar once in a while….
I am so sorry itchy! It’s just that I love Survivor. I so look forward to each season. It’s the bright spot in my dismal life.
Well, I read somewhere that next season takes place in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Probst makes his first appearance being ridden like a horse by some pygmies. I guess there was trouble because some local pygmies were caught trying to peep at the outdoor sexy shower scenes. When a producer told them to scratch gravel, they blow-gunned him with frog poison, and he almost died. Probst used his hippy necklace to tie off the producer’s leg so the poison couldn’t circulate further, and then single-handed drove off the entire tribe of angry, war-chanting pygmies while the rest of the film team cowered.
I didn’t make this up, but the person who wrote it might have made it up. So stay outta my grill about it, yo.
Oh. I just checked my sources on that. Probst himself wrote that news item. So, yeah, he made that up. In Probst’s head, he puts the boom in everyone’s milkshake…
LOL – I thought you were describing a scene with Coach! Thanks for the laugh notwithoutmytv.
My mother watches the Mexican Survivor on one of her Spanish stations. She says it’s different from the gringo version. Next time I talk to her I’ll ask her what’s different about the Mexican version.