Survivor: Let’s Get Stereotypical

Survivor

By Schoonie | Monday, September 27, 2010 | 10:00 am | 30 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Survivor

After last week’s Tribal Council, Holly feels on the outs and bad about voting for Wendy.  “I know it’s part of the game to lie, but I don’t like it,” she says.  Appaerntly it’s also part of the game to wear a terrifying paisley top.

S21E2001She’s coming for your mom’s curtains.  RUN!

The next morning, the Espada tribe has had enough of their shelter and decide to start from scratch.  Jimmy J takes charge, of course.  I’m not sure whether he’s doing this because everyone’s expecting him to or what, but it’s already a little old to be hearing all his pep talks and it’s only episode 2.  In another move you can see coming from a mile away, Jimmy T starts talking about non-shelter related fishing issues in an attempt to take control of the conversation.  When the whole tribe tells him to STFU so they can finish the actually relevant discussion, he gets all butthurt and stomps off to the water to throw a tantrum.   Is this footage from the last episode?  Because I feel like this is footage from the last episode.

La Flor.  Sash and Naonka (I know, I had to look it up too), decide that since they’re both minorities, it would make sense for them to go to the end together.  Sash also wants to bring Brenda into their plan.  I mean, nevermind that she’s generally shady and annoying and will probably screw you over: she’s not white, so she must be trustworthy!   Then Na Onka walks around with her hair up in one random scene, just to give the whole thing a hint of Erykah Badu craziness.

S21E2002“I better caaaaaallll Tyroooooooooone.  Wait, he’s on the other tribe, nevermind.“

NaOnka also speculates that Kelly’s artificial leg is going to fall off once they get into a challenge involving a race.  She means a footrace, by the way, not ethnicity.  But based on the way she’s been talking, I’m sure she also expects Kelly’s leg to randomly fall off when she wanders within eight feet of a non-white.

Back at Espada, Jill (the red-haired ER doctor we saw a bit of last week) eats some snaiils.  They’re edible but they probably don’t taste good; when Holly sees Jill making disgusted faces and choking down the snails, she decides that they’re not edible, yanks the bucket out of Jills hand, and dumps them all out into the ocean.  Jill is all “WTF?” (as she should be), telling the rest of the tribe how crazypants Holly has already become by Day 4.

Holly happens to wander by while the rest of the tribe is discussing the fact that she belongs in the nuthouse; she overhears Dan (the guido looking guy) calling her “crazier than shit”, so she does what any crazy person would do: she steals his very expensive looking shoes, fills them with sand and dumps them into the lake.  “I wanted to do something to release my anger,” she tells us.  Translation: “I saw Russell last season, and I wanted to do something to get myself on television.”

S21E2003As is the case with most things, I blame this on Russell Hantz.

While Dan wanders around camp looking for his shoes (which were sixteen hundred dollars, by the way), Holly decides that she’s a terrible person all of a sudden.  She calls a meeting, grabs Dan’s feet in a strange show of aggression, and tells the whole tribe that she took Dan’s shoes, recapping the process in grizzly detail, just in case they all weren’t quite ready to completely hate her yet.  “It’s a good thing you’re not a guy,” he tells her, apparently because he would knock her out if that were the case.  I don’t know, your shoes were sixteen hundred dollars and she’s wearing a paisley one-piece off the rack from Kohl’s.  I think you win.

S21E2004“Oh shit, it’s about to get all Misery up in here.”

“Every time she speaks, it becomes more evident that she’s crazy,” Tyrone tells us.  Tyrone might be kind of awesome.

S21E2005Yep, pretty much.

Back at La Flor, NaOnka is missing her socks and totally loses her shit about it, because we’re only twenty minutes in and we haven’t quite seen enough crazy yet, I guess.  “Bitches,” she mutters at the rest of the team before deciding that the best course of action is to steal someone else’s socks.  She ends up wearing Fabio’s, and when he comes over to ask her why she took them, she blows up at him, even though she has stolen his socks. I know.  She even throws in an “I can get loud too!” which is just absolutely blasphemous to Sandra.

S21E2006Don’t worry NaOnka, he’ll probably kill himself before the end of the season.

Espada.  Jimmy J pulls Holly to the side to give her a pep talk, because if he does not give a pep talk every seven minutes, the bomb rigged to his back will explode.  He manages to quote Vince Lombardi in this one, so whoever had Episode 2 in the “Jimmy Quotes Vince Lombardi” pool can collect your winnings now.  When it’s over Holly feels better, but even she is all “I wonder if this temporary sanity will stick?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Immunity Challenge.  La Flor has concocted another elaborate entrance involving marching in lockstep.  Today’s challenge goes like this:  Four people people from each tribe will race through a mud pit and search through stacks of hay for a ball.  Once all four balls have been collected, the rest of the team will use wooden shields to bounce the balls into a barrel.  First team to get all four balls into the barrel wins the challenge.  The winning team will also get a reward: they can choose between a tarp and fishing gear.  Today’s Medallion of Power perk is that one ball will already be in the barrel, so only three balls will have to be found and bounced.  After some deliberation, the older team decides to go ahead and use it.

The advantage turns out to be good for the older tribe; even with the advantage, the younger tribe finds their four balls before the older tribe can find their three.  The teams are even as the ball tossing starts; it’s down to the wire and the older tribe pulls it out a split second before the younger team, so now La Flor has to vote someone out.  Turns out the Medallion of Power is actually somewhat interesting!  As for the reward, Espada chooses the fishing gear, even though they were just complaining about their shelter.  Typical old people.

S21E2007“WHO GOT ALL THIS MUD ALL OVER THE PLACE?  Younger tribe, you’re grounded.”

Back at camp, Espada celebrates their win and checks out their reward, which contains another immunity idol clue.  They post it on a tree and work together to decipher some of the clues.  When they figure out that the idol is buried 15 yards west of a tree, people start digging near random trees, which is essentially pointless.  Jill figures out that the clue means to dig 15 feet west of the treemail (somehow equating “treeman” to “treemail” which: worst clue ever).  She decides to tell Marty, since she wants to be in an alliance with him, and sure enough, he finds it pretty quickly.

S21E2008“I’m so excited I could middle-manage something!  Fetch me a TPS report.”

Meanwhile, La Flor is moping.  Shannon has collected a group of five people to vote off Brenda, including Chase.  On the other side of camp, Na Onka admits that she was wrong about Kelly’s artificial leg, which is the lone bright spot for her in this episode.  Now, back to acting like an ethnic stereotype!  NaOnka and Brenda sit in the water discussing the vote; they have decided that Shannon is the ringleader of the people against them, and they want to get rid of him.  NaOnka also tells Brennda about Sash’s idea to form an alliance of minorities, and to her credit, she laughs uproariously at the ridiculousness of the concept.  Brenda thinks she can get five people to get rid of Shannon, with their three, Kelly Purple (seriously, that is what they are calling the other Kelly) and Chase.

Speaking of Chase, he’s decided that something is off about Shannon and that he can’t be trusted (YES), and narcs him out to Brenda, telling her that people are gunning to vote her out tonight.  Alina overhears this conversation (probably because no one knows that someone named “Alina” is even on the show), telling Shannon and the rest of the group that Chase is betraying them to keep Brenda around.

Tribal Council.  Get ready for some bullshit, y’all.

Probst begins by asking Shannon a general question about camp life, which he takes as an opportunity to start talking a bunch of shit about Chase.  ”He’d better hope his girlfriend stays with him tonight, or he’ll be going home next.”  How, exactly?  Shannon clearly knows that he’s screwed here, so he continues to fire at Chase, who tries to defend himself by telling Jeff that he’s been working with them both since the start.  “I’m just letting him know he goes next,”  Shannon keeps repeating.  How is that, exactly?  He’s magically eliminated by default? A meteor falls on him?

S21E2009“Logic is for gays from NEW YORK.”

“You’re pretty much digging your own grave,” Sash tells Shannon, who just will not. Stop. Talking.  “I’m gonna ask you something, are you gay?” Shannon randomly says.  Sash smiles.  “I’ve probably gotten more pretty girls than you,” he tells Shannon, “I’d like tos ee you work your magic in New York.”  Shannon’s response?  “New York is full of gay people.”  Where did they find these people this season?

Fabio tries to get them to calm down, which draws Jeff’s ire, for some reason.  “Get your head out of the trees, Fabio,” he says, digging all of the drama going down.  When NaOnka starts yapping about something or other, Jeff accuses her of being in the trees too (he only has room for one insult in his head, you see), and NaOnka tells him she doesn’t want to be in any fictional tree with Fabio, thank you very much, because she hates him.  This face gets made:

S21E2010That’s racist.

To recap, we’ve spent the last ten minutes watching a guy from Louisiana act as ignorant as possible, then watched a black female act as bitchy as possible.  What other stereotypes can we reinforce during this hour?  Maybe Brenda can drive her car into a telephone pole or something, I don’t know.  Jesus, show, get it together.

“Can we vote?” Fabio begs, because he is the only person here with any dignity left, strangely.  After something boring from Kelly B, Probst obliges him.  We see Fabio vote for Brenda, we see Brenda vote Shannon and vice versa, and we see Sash vote Shannon.  When the votes are read, there are three for Shannon and three for Brenda before Shannon gets all the rest of them, and he is thankfully done early.  Nicely done, everyone.  I appreciate it.

Also, the exiled contestants now have to exit through a graveyard.  A little too on the nose, show.

About

Like most people in America, Schoonie watches entirely too much reality television.  Unlike most people, Schoonie gets to share his opinions with the world, which is pretty rad.  Currently living in Chicago, Schoonie's been with Tvgasm since 2006.  He spends his free time writing Survivor fan fiction (Letters to Penthouse, all featuring Rupert!) , playing with his cover band, and playing with his other cover band. Also, this one time, Lisi fell.

30 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I just wanna say…I love Tyrone, I love Jane and Jill, and I love Schoonie! Especially for, “He manages to quote Vince Lombardi in this one, so whoever had Episode 2 in the “Jimmy Quotes Vince Lombardi” pool can collect your winnings now. “

    I thought it was hilarious the young tribe couldn’t make head or tail out of their immunity idol clue…and Jill figured it out in 10 seconds flat.

    As for the tribal council…What. The Hell. Was that????

    Between Shannon, who appeared to hate women, non-whites, and gays…and Sash, who appears gay, but claims to be “New York’s biggest bachelor” who has had “hundreds of women,” this was one of the weirdest TCs EVER.

    Shannon managed to bury himself even faster than the Goat Whisperer…he messed up so badly, even two of his OWN ALLIANCE turned on him at TC. What as asshat.

    Geez…he made Holly, and her tendency to drown innocent yet overpriced shoes, look almost normal.

    And by the way, who wears shoes worth more than my monthly mortgage payment to go play Survivor?

  2. 2
    C in Chicago
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:07 am

    I’m starting to think of the random asshattery on Survivor as the ‘Russell Effect’. People saw that Russell was able to get to the end of two seasons by, in part, keeping people off balance with aggressive behavior and psychological warfare. Unfortunately, it seems this batch is emulating the bad behavior but not the strategic thought behind it. (Which didn’t even work for him, ultimately. Much less a somewhat less bright seeming bunch.)

  3. 3
    considerthis
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Let’s switch it up for a moment. Suppose that Shannon and either of the Kelly’s and Alina ( 1 man and 2 women) decided to form an alliance and vote off all blacks and asians. My GOD America would be in an uproar. They would be racist and had to live a life of shame.

    So how is it that Sashay, Brenda & Nastyonka (1 man ? & 2 women) can decide out with the whites and nobody bats an eyelash? So typical that everybody’s a victim and we shall overcome mentally. If you want to form an alliance base it on something more strategic than skin color – K??? One more thing – STOP ALL READY with the BRING IT ON entrances at the Immunity Challenges. If you choose to go that path then I DEMAND flips, basket tosses, and back hand springs. Entertain me dammit!

  4. 4
    JKW
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:28 am

    What I think was hilarious was Shannon’s comment about gays in NYC but not LA. Shit boy, have you ever been to New Orleans ? A whole section of the French Quarter is gay. Maybe not in the swamps where he lives but it sure is in New Orleans. I like the old team and would like them more without Jimmy Johnson.

  5. 5
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Considerthis, I don’t know if I consider it racist, per se, because it’s not sexist to vote off women, agist to vote off the eldest member of the tribe, or homophobic to vote off a gay person. It’s a game to be the last person standing and it’s always strategically better to be proactive than reactive (which was my whole issue with the terrible season that was Big Brother this past summer!) People align with those they feel comfortable…. therefore, if the minorities want to target the whites, more power to them. Keep in mind, it’s still early in the season, and people target each other for petty reasons still at this point.

    As far as Shannon’s POV, I think that his ignorance is the drawback to diversity. We want “diversity” until people express minority opinions we disagree with. I personally do not agree with him, but he has the right to fuck up his game and expose himself to be homophobic or misogynistic. I do agree that the contestants now want to be in-your-face and sensational as a way to get to the end and potentially win (a la Richard Hantz), but RH took a page out of BB’s Evel Dick’s playbook and screwed it up.

  6. 6
    kittkatt
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:58 am

    Can I just sat that this Tribal Council was more entertaining than the ENTIRE SEASON of Big Brother this year. I just couldn’t stop laughing at the idiots all talking over each other.

  7. 7
    Corky
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    I think Jill got the clue because it was “tree” “male” (not man)

  8. 8
    Missy2sweet
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    What’s with the Brenda hate on the young tribe? Did I miss something?

  9. 9
    Mister Dangerous
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    I’ve read lots of articles regarding Shannon since Tribal Council but I’m ignoring them and stating that at the time I watched Tribal Council I thought Shannon was trying to play BIG. (Calling people out; being a badass.) I think it would have been fine for him to do that if he would have had an Immunity Idol in his pocket that he could have played to cancel out any votes thrown his way. Unfortunately, Shannon didn’t have an immunity idol to play.

    As a LATINO! I wouldn’t want to be in the minority alliance because those girls seem really mean. [I don’t know if I could trust them either.] I would be in an alliance with SLASH but only if he would let me to borrow some of his clothes so I could look more attractive on the Island.

    It was a fun recap Schoonie.

  10. 10
    Mister Dangerous
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    oh, and BTW I laughed at the caption under the $1600 shoes.

  11. 11
    AntSuck
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I agree with considerthis on pretty much everything. Sash and Naonka have some nerve thinking themselves superior to the others because they’re racial minorities. And before anyone asks, I’m unbiased because I’m Hispanic, and I HATE it when people pull shit like that. Brenda made the correct response in LOLing, but I’m sure she’ll feel free to reap the benefits of Sash’s and Naonka’s stupidity.

    Which reminds me that Brenda is starting to strike me as the second coming of Parvati, in that she’s playing a great social and strategic game without hardly trying.

    As far as the stupid La Flor choreography before challenges go, I prefer it this way because I get to make fun of them. I couldn’t if they were actually doing impressive basket tosses.

  12. 12
    itchy
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    First off, it’s not so much a question of who would bring a $1,600 pair of shoes to Survivor. It’s that he TOLD everyone what they were worth– basically letting them know he doesn’t need the money. Clown.

    Also, the Russell Effect: Gah. Can I point of one last time that Russell was carried to the finals because THERE WAS NO FUCKING WAY HE’D EVER WIN.

    But I knew he’d ruined the game for good. Not just Holly pulling her ridiculous stunt — who the hell would keep her after that? But it also explains Tonka’s reaction to losing her sock.

    And yeah, she’s annoying and I wish she’d leave. Soon.

    As for why it’s okay for minorities to join together : because they’re minorities. Meaning they’re not part of the majority. Which is a hugely different state of being and perspective than being part of the majority. It’s not okay for the majority to crush the minorities because, in a civilized society, that’s not how things are supposed to work. But they often do work that way, which leaves the minorities, because they have at best no support from the majority, with little recourse but to stick together in order to succeed.

    On the other hand, only an idiot would team up with Tonka.

    I like Brenda. Three guesses why. I also like the art school chick (Alina?) although I wonder why she’d want to ally with that redneck idiot. Makes me question her strategy.

    And lastly: I’ve always hated coaches. Except Coach. Of course.

    It usually takes me a few episodes to start caring about any of the players. This time out is no exception.

  13. 13
    Fnord
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I’m going on Survivor. Hmmm, will I bring my 1600$ leather business shoes, or two pairs of steel-toed hiking boots worth 160$ together?

    What is wrong with these people?

  14. 14
    bambinoitaliano
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    Tonka got no card to play except her skin color. That’s pretty pathetic to be in the game of Survivor. How did she get cast? A mistake from Big Brother perhaps?

  15. 15
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    Who the hell took my freaking avatar?

  16. 16
    Robin Robinez
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    “Who the hell took my freaking avatar?”

    Someone with a footwear dilemma?

    TC,Robin

  17. 17
    Robin Robinez
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Schoonie,

    Whew! Snark at it’s best! This crew pretty much leave themselves wide open don’t they? You hit all the high points for me..or was it the low point’s?..

    I loved the screen cap of Mr.Shoes. I wonder if the next time we see him he has shoes? In the old days if you lost your shoes on Survivor you didn’t have shoes.

    Did I say “shoes” enough up there?^^^

    Looking forward to your next recap.

    TC,Robin

  18. 18
    itchy
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Mr. Shoes also has sneakers. Maybe we should call him Mr. Sneakers?

    At any rate, it makes no sense at all to bring dress shoes on this shoe. Its not like the old days when they used to pretend to shipwreck the contestants with whatever they were wearing. These days they supply them with color-coded bikinis and sponsored footwear. And the probably drop the contestants off in stretch Hummers.

    Whoa, Giffordsaz, someone did steal your avatar. Better take their socks.

  19. 19
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 27, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    Total theif asshat. Give it back,get your own.

  20. 20
    melissapedsrn
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 5:49 am

    The screencap “Misery” reference……one word…..GOLDEN. I LMAO. Thanx :)

  21. 21
    Faye
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 8:16 am

    Next season, can we get Survivor: We Promise No Ignorant Loud Ass Black Women … Can this Tonka chick be anymore Mistrel show?!? She is one head roll away from Spike Lee asking blacks to boycott Survivor

  22. 22
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 9:07 am

    @ Faye, if we could get that on most reality shows that would be a win win for us all.

  23. 23
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 9:18 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrfX7k8EOy8&NR=1

    Give back my avatar orI am gonnakick yer arse.

  24. 24
    kwilli
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 10:01 am

    @ Faye — “She is one head roll away from Spke Lee asking blacks to boycott Survivor.” HILARIOUS! Thanks, that made me laugh out loud.

    @ Itchy — ditto what you said about minorities forming an alliance. Birds of a feather, do tend to flock togehter.

    Now I’m a black female and I must say: I don’t care if it were just me and tonka with an island full of the hillbilliest rednecks, I wouldn’t touch her in an alliance with a 10 foot poll.

  25. 25
    Faye
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 10:12 am

    I wonder if Mark Burnett and company could just offer Erika Badhairdo 40 acres and a mule to go away.
    @kwilli – same here and although if I saw another black person on a reality show that had the sense God gave a pack of grits, I might gravitate towards them the same way Shannon rallied all the white alpha males on the island. There is not much difference, Sash just came right out and said it. However, me and Ms. Badhairdo and her stench of slave dust?!?! No f’ing way. I would just tell her I got a bad spray tan on my way to the airport, all my people died in the civil war, how much I like Lift Every Voice and Sing and then go and try and align with Fabio. No one would see someone so stupid as a threat and something tells me he is going to make it far in this game

  26. 26
    zerocool
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Giff- my chihuahua-mix dog started barking when I played your link lol.

    Super happy Shannon’s out. Joel McHale nicely pointed out the irony of his name in the clip he showed on the soup. Although it would’ve been fun watching a girl stomp his ass on the way out…

    Fabio & Red-hair nurse FTW.

  27. 27
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Shannon is so worried about the gays in new york. I guess he never saw the movie Deliverance.

  28. 28
    itchy
    Posted September 28, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    Deliverance wasn’t about homosexuality, it was about rape. Nuance.

  29. 29
    soapboxx
    Posted September 29, 2010 at 2:55 am

    Great recap! Hahahaha! I’m loving this season of batshit crazies. Did anyone else pick up on the camera cutting to the monkeys in the trees after Naonka mentioned her missing sock? Monkeys are notorious thieves, so I’m betting a monkey snagged it. I loved the tribal council. Shannon is/was all kinds of wrong. BTW who brings $1600 shoes to Survivor? He can’t run in them and they don’t match his swimsuit. I guess when you look like him anything that causes you to look down is a good thing.

  30. 30
    kdfinjpn
    Posted September 29, 2010 at 3:19 am

    OMG, Giff!! The dog from hell!!! No way would I keep your avatar after that – if I had it!

    Awesome, as always, Schoonie!

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