Previously on Survivor…..Benedict CockRing stabbed his tribe in the back with the machete they barely let him use. The Prayer Club rejoiced and welcomed into their club (leave your Torah at the door!). Savaii pouted and whined and wished they had at least pretended to like Benedict CockRing.
Duuuuuude. He stinks. Like a weenie. Now I’m hungry.
Over at Redemption Island we revisit Jim’s arrival and him saying it was supposed to be the three of them in the final. Ozzy doesn’t wanna say I told you so…..
But I totally DID.
Jim brings them up to speed on the immunity challenge and they are all especially disgusted by the fact that CockRing and the rest of Loopholo sat out of the challenge to feast. PUH-lease. They would have totally done the same thing if they had the majority.
Jim tells us that the longer Benjamin has them thinking they are all one tribe, the more likely he is to win the million. UGH. God forbid. Shit. Do I need to form my own prayer circle now?
Dear God, It’s me, PottyMouth. If you let Benjamin win a million dollars I will fucking lose my mind and you know you don’t want that to happen. SERIOUSLY. That dick better not win or there will be REPRUCUSSIONS. For reals. Amen.
Phew. That should do the trick I think.
Keith thinks that Benji will bring Edna and CockRing to the end with him and I think he’s on to something there. Edna is useless and CockRing will never get the votes of his former tribe.
Back in Camp Te Tuna, Benji tells the others that Jim was the most dangerous kind of person because he’s friendly to everyone but also willing to do anything to win. He tells the others that they will be a stronger family now. He also assures Dawn and Whitney that they have nothing to worry about while telling us that the people on the bottom of an alliance can’t know they’re at the bottom or they’ll revolt and try to scramble for better position.
I pray you lay down and take it while I vote your asses out
Of course if they’re not in the alliance at all you’d think that would be difficult to hide, right? Being in that position herself, Whitney sees right through Benjamin’s bullshit. She knows he’s the one calling the shots and is amazed that he has everyone fooled into thinking they are going to the end with him. She tells us she doesn’t know how smart people can be so stupid.
Did she just call me smart?
Someone save me from these morons!
The next day starts barfiliciously with Benjamin teaching CockRing tai chi on the beach. As much as he hates to admit it, he is drinking the Coach Kool-aid, he tells us.
It’s a little tangy but would be best served with a side of fried bunghole rings
CockRing knows that Benjamin is the leader of their tribe and so he wants to make sure he stays on his good side. It seems to working because Benjamin confides in him that he’s worried about being blindsided; Albert seems to worry him the most.
CockRing asks Benjamin point blank if he’s going out when there’s only seven people left in their alliance. Benjamin assures him that he will do everything he can to make sure that doesn’t happen, but also tells CockRing that he is not in charge of the tribe (HA).
I’m not in charge; everyone just listens to me is all
Time for a three way! Redemption Island duel, that is. The whole tribe is there to watch and Jeff gets right to it. Each contestant will use the tops of their hands to balance two poles against an oversize board. Drop it and they’re out. The first two out will be the first two members of the jury, the last man standing will stay on Redemption and still have a shot at the million dollars.
All three hang in there for the first ten minutes and HantzyPantzy calls out for Jim to stay strong. When asked by Jeff, Hantzy confirms that he is rooting for Jim to win. Anyone on Team Keith? Whitney is. How ‘bout Ozzy?
Ozzy is on his own. Don’t feel too bad Ozzy, Jeff and the producers are totally routing for you! A few minutes later, Jim drops his poles and becomes the first member of the jury. Keith and Ozzy are both fighting to hang on now, each having a close call and then managing to recover. Who will hang in there the longest?
Doncha wish you had routed for me now?
Sigh. My hero.
So Ozzy is still alive in the game and he tells Jeff and Te Tuna that he is the best position possible because he is eating well and not worrying about all the bullshit going on within the tribe. He repeats his shpiel about welcoming people to Redemption, making them a fish and sending them on their way. I hope he gets his ass handed to him soon.
The next day Ozzy fishes and climbs trees and throws down coconuts and tells us how awesome life is on Redemption. He loves that he’s got plenty of food and thinks the island itself is beautiful. He tells us that he’s happy the tribe is missing out on his awesomeness.
Yeah, I bet they’re missing ole fish crotch something awful right now
Ozzy tells us that if you have the skills and abilities that he has you could come out here and really refresh and rejuvenate yourself. He’s getting himself set to play the end of the game and thinks he would not be as ready as he will be if he had to constantly deal with the tribe. “The next couple of people coming through Redemption are going to have a big challenge ahead of them and that’s me.”
Back at camp Dawn is talking to CockRing, telling him that she thinks she derailed her game by not outing his plan when she had a chance. She thinks he now owes her and wants him to help her stay in the game.
I totally sided with you by not voting with you so now you have to help me. Unless you win immunity; then you can totally change your mind and stick with everyone else
CockRing says she’s someone he would like to work with and says he’ll do what he can to help. He knows he’s got more of a chance of getting some jury votes if he switches back with Dawn and Whitney now. Either way it’s gonna take a leap of faith and he needs to figure out who he’s gonna trust.
Time for the immunity challenge.
Ooooooo, the dreaded see saw challenge; fattest kid wins!!!
Poor Jim. He would have had this one in the bag.
For this challenge, each person will balance a bowl filled with rice on top of their heads. Then they will race across two see saws and empty their rice in a container. If they touch the bowl while it’s on top of their head or if the bowl falls off their head, they have to go back to the starting point and begin again. First person to fill up their container wins immunity.
Albert drops his bowl first, not being able to balance it once he reaches the see saw.
The rice was later found to be boiled by his hotness
Benjamin and CockRing drop their bowls as well and also have to being again. Rick makes it halfway across the see saw and then drops his bowl as well.
Dawn, HantzyPantzy, and Sophie are doing the best and are the first three to make it all the way to their containers and head back to refill and repeat. Benjamin is finally able to make it to his container, while Whitney is thiiiiiis close before dropping her bowl.
Hantzy, Sophie and Dawn do it again while everyone else continues to fall further and further behind. On the third bowl of rice Sophie decides to fill her bowl as high as possible, hoping to make less trips. Hantzy and Dawn make it to their containers first, but if Sophie can on she just may be able to squeak out the win.
She makes it across and because of her rice filling technique…..wins the challenge!
As Jeff puts the immunity necklace around her neck he tells them that there will be a twist at tribal tonight and he’ll fill them in on it later. I think we can all predict what the twist is going to be, right?
CockRing and Hantzy are getting their snuggle spot!
Once back at camp, CockRing checks in with Benjamin about plans for the vote. He confirms that it will definitely be either Dawn or Whitney and tells CockRing that he thinks it should probably be Dawn because if she makes it to the end she’ll probably win the whole thing.
CockRing is worried that the twist Jeff mentioned is a double elimination and if that’s the case and the nonbooted one of Dawn or Whitney win immunity, that he will be the one to go.
Dawn and Whitney are feeling bad that neither of them could pull out the immunity win. Dawn thinks it’s gonna be her going home tonight, but she’s still hoping that something will change. In fact, she and Whitney have a plan; they are going to talk to Albert.
At least if he won’t help them he’s easy on the eyes
Whitney thinks that at least Albert seems like a good guy. Once they get him alone Whitney tells him she thinks that Benjamin is going to take Edna and Sophie to the end and if someone wants to turn this game around now is the time to do it. HINT HINT.
At least if he won’t help us he’s easy on the eyes
Dawn chimes in, telling him that they are two votes that can help someone. He knows he’s at a crossroads right now and he’d love it if he could get votes from the ousted Savaii people, thinking this might be a way into their hearts.
Perhaps Edna would be a good choice, Albert ponders. After all, she does jack shit around camp other than lick Benjamin’s ass. Plus, CockRing would be happy to move further up the alliance ladder, right? He thinks he can get CockRing and Sophie to vote with them and give Edna the old heave-ho.
Benjamin and Hantzy see Albert talking to Dawn and Whitney and they no likey. He is breaking the rules of the alliance by talking to the enemy! How dare he!
I’m not the boss but I must approve all conversations
CockRing and Albert sit down to play a game of island checkers and discuss the upcoming vote. Albert tells CockRing he’s seventh in the seven person Loopholo alliance, confirming CockRing’s fears. CockRing is upset by this, saying that he can’t believe they’d vote him out before Edna given that he went against his entire tribe to save their tribe.
They should totally be praising me in that prayer circle of theirs
Not to worry, Albert tells him; he has a plan to get Edna out before CockRing. Next Albert goes to talk to Sophie who has now realized that she is the swing vote. She understands the logic in Albert’s plan but she’s also worried about going against the grain too soon. Ultimately, she tells us, she’s going to do whatever is going to take her further in the game.
Benji and Edna watch Albert talking to everyone and they do not like it one bit. Benjamin realizes that Albert is working on getting himself some jury votes and that’s unacceptable unless the votes being got are votes for him. Before they leave for tribal council he tells us that anyone that goes against the five…..instant death.
You’ll sleep with the fish crotch!
At tribal council Dawn urges the bottom dwellers in Loopholo’s alliance to use her and Whitney to get themselves further in the game. Whitney points out to CockRing that he’s seventh, you know, in case he forgot. He admits that this would be the perfect time to make a move which pretty much guarantees that nothing interesting is going to happen. Bleh.
I haven’t approved anything interesting happening
CockRing says the game is driving him nuts because he’s constantly thinking of all the different scenarios that can happen.
Benjamin pipes up to say that contrary to popular belief, he is not running the game. Whitney rolls her eyes along with the rest of us. She says it sure as shit seems like he’s in charge since everyone is always reporting everything back to him.
Albert definitely doesn’t consider Benjamin his leader; maybe he’s just a figurehead.
Bullshit! Even I can see Benji is the leader. Are you people fucking blind!?!?!?
Benji did not approve that comment Jeff; you’re going to regret that. Anyway he’s totally not the leader, but even though he totally IS NOT the leader, he does like getting info from everyone because information is power in this game. They just like to share everything with him; it’s because they have to.
Time to vote. Dawn gets the first vote, then Edna, dawn, then Edna, then all the rest are for Dawn. So much for it being the time to make a big move, huh?
Time for the twist. Jeff tells them they are going right into another immunity challenge with a vote following after.
Did anyone NOT see that one coming?
This challenge will involve a series of questions that Jeff says are survival related and therefore should be a piece of cake for them. Whoever answers correctly stays alive; get one wrong and yer out. They each grab an answer cube from behinds them and get ready to start.
First question: To prevent dehydration it is recommended that Survivors drink how much purified water per day? A. one pint. B. one quart. C. one gallon. Correct answer is C. Out on this round: Rick, Edna, and Albert.
Poor Albert; pint, quarts and gallons are super confusing
Second question asks if the coconut crab got it’s name because coconut is its favorite food. The answer is true. CockRing and Hantzy are out this time around.
It’s now down to Benjamin, Sophie and Whitney. What is the soft edible flesh within the stalk of a fallen coconut? A. pacific artichoke. B. heart of pam. C. palm fingers D. Coco Sprouts. Whitney and Sophie answer heart of palm while Benji guesses Coco Sprouts.
What the fuck are Coco Sprouts?
Of course the correct answer is heart of palm so Benjamin and his Coco Sprouts are out. Now we’re down to two. The next question asks if giant South Pacific clams are dangerous and therefore should not be removed from the ocean. The answer is false and only Sophie gets it right. Sophie wins immunity again and so I think it’s safe to say Whitney’s going to Redemption.
Think not? Oh, okay, let’s vote then.
And after the vote……………………….
Hopefully now that the pagonging is done we’ll get to some interesting game play. I wish that Albert and Sophie had made a move because I think Albert might be going down sooner rather than later. Benjamin may be a lot of things but he is smart enough to know that he needs to get Albert out of there in order to win. Sophie too.
Hopefully they’ll realize this and pull something together to get him out first; I really couldn’t stand it if that jackass won.
No new episode this upcoming week; they’ll be airing the usual Thanksgiving week recap/never before seen footage show, so I’ll see y’all the week after. Hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving; hopefully you haven’t already had your fill of turkey from watching these folks!
I can’t wait to hear what everyone thought of this episode. Are you glad the accelerated the ousters of Savaii? Do you think Ozzy will beat everyone that goes to redemption? Do you think anyone will ever wake up and get Benji the fuck out of there????
Happy Turkey Day!
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