Survivor Recap: Gender Games

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Sunday, February 19, 2012 | 1:43 pm | 45 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Survivor

Is it just me, or does it seem waaaaaay too soon for another season of Survivor?  I feel like we just finished that one!  Well, too soon or not, the new season is here.  Thankfully Redemption Island is scrapped, but the stupid hidden immunity idols remain.  Bleh.  Oh well; it could be worse……

At least this guy (or any of his relations) isn’t around this time!

Don’t be mad at me, Mr. Dangerous!  I don’t think I could handle another Hantz-centric season!!

Alright, let’s get down to business.  Jeff rides in a copter while the newest contestants travel by truck.  As everyone hangs on for dear life in the back of the truck, we get to meet a couple of the castaways.   No names yet, but we see a girl that tells us any guy that likes her is gonna get played, a gay guy that gets along with girls and says guys don’t find him threatening, and a sushi chef.

Jeff tells us that they all think they know the game and the rules, but they are in for a surprise; they’ll be divided onto two tribes but live together on one beach.  Two tribes, one camp, no rules.

Except for the rule about not letting go of my hand; don’t let go!!!!!!!

Once everyone has arrived at the designated meeting area, Jeff welcomes them.  He wastes no time and jumps right into questioning them about first impressions.

I’m different and don’t fit in!

But she’s gonna make that a good thing.  Jeff moves on to Colton (who I’m sure will have “gay dude” as his occupation) who says that there are a lot of cute guys here, but none of them are as cute as he is.

You know you wanna tap this!

Jeff calls out to another dude who tells him his name is Tarzan.  GROAN.  Can’t we ban the stupid nicknames on this show?  I’m supposed to be the one nicknaming everyone!

And…these people listen to me just about as much as everyone else in my life.  Sigh.

Now that Jeff has gotten the pre-judgments out of the way; he springs the news on them that they will be divided into tribes based on gender.  As they divide up I see that there is a little person on the men’s tribe.  I guess Rosie’s not gonna be watching this season.

You got it!

Colton is not so happy about the gender division and tells us that it’s obvious he’s the girl on the guy tribe.  Sabrina (high school teacher) opines that everyone knows men can’t live without women.  Douchezan thinks they are purely all talk right now; the guys will have no problem.  With anything.  Yep, Douchezan it is.

The men’s tribe will be called Manono and the ladies’ will be called Salani.  I find it interesting that the guys’  tribe name has MAN in it, while the Ladies’ name kinda sounds like Salami.  I’m guessing Jeff helped with the names.

Well…..Salami just seems to rolls off the tongue.  But in a manly way.

He then tells them that they have sixty seconds to get as many supplies off the truck they came in on as possible.  Everybody books over and starts grabbing various items from the truck and putting them into piles on the ground.

One of the guys realizes that the ladies aren’t paying attention, and so he starts to take stuff from their pile and put it into the guys’ pile.  UGH.  I’d say that’s clever, but it immediately reminds me of Rupert and the stealing of the shoes and then I want to puke.  I know plenty of people just ADORE Rupert and find him SO LOVEABLE, but I think the guy is a TWATWAFFLE and I’m still annoyed that the producers of this show gave him a million dollars for being too sucky to win.  I know I should move on with my life, but I’m pretty sure y’all know me enough by now to know that’s probably not going to happen.

Anyway, the sixty seconds winds down, and the girls realize that there’s stuff missing from their pile.  The guys play dumb.  The thief does admit it; he says he sure did steal their stuff; it was too easy.  The women call the guys cheaters.  They looked crushed to be labeled like that.

Next Jeff tells that the HII are still around (BOOOOOO), BUT there is no Redemption Island (WOOT WOOT!).  He then hands each tribe maps to their camps and sends them on their way.

Trekking through the jungle, each of the tribes has a little bit of trouble maneuvering while carrying all their supplies.   One of the guys is really impressed by another of his tribemates: little person Leif.

Yeah, well, when all the weight’s tilting TOWARD you……

As the women make their way to camp, Kourtney tells us she wasn’t too thrilled with the men versus women thing.  She knows women can be warm, but they can also backstab each other.

Guys find me to be quirky, whereas girls just think I’m annoying.

Alicia (special needs teacher) is sure to tell us that she’s pulling her own weight out here; she’s also keeping track of what everyone else is doing too.  She’s already decided who the “strong” women of the tribe are and moves quickly to form a four person alliance with them.  One of those women (Kim) tells us she wasn’t really planning on getting into an alliance so quickly, but the guys stealing their stuff made all of the women bond quickly.

Salami is the first to reach their camp and they see that the Manono flag is also there on the beach.  They realize that they must be sharing the camp with the guys.  Sure enough, here comes the testosterone!

Oh crap.  They’re gonna leave their girly stuff EVERYWHERE.

Jonas (sushi chef) decides that he’s going to hold on to the supplies he carried in case the girls try to steal them.  Because, you know, the girls are the ones that have already proven themselves to be thieves.  Colton points out that the flag says “One World”, but Jonas isn’t buying it; he thinks it’s their world and our world.  Hey, as long as you get together and feel alright…..right?

While this is going on, Chelsea and Sabrina spy some chickens.  The news spreads quickly and soon both Salami and Manono are chasing chickens.  Hmmm….sounds vaguely dirty, doesn’t it?

Chelsea and Matt decide they’ll work together to catch the chickens and then split them up between the tribes.  Turns out that wasn’t such a great deal for Chelsea since the gals grab two chickens while the guys nab none.  Matt tells Chelsea she should choose which chicken the gals will be keeping, but it seems like there may be a change of plans…

Are you gonna choke my chicken or what?

Matt is not happy about the change in the deal, but Chelsea says she’s not so sure the guys would have stuck by the deal if they’d have caught both chickens.  In fact, they’re kinda the ones that set the tone since they stole the ladies stuff.

The guys go back to their group and Michael thinks they should just start building their shelter, but Matt first has to tell us all that he doesn’t care what ya look like: cross him and he’s not working with ya.

I’ll nut punch a girl if I have too.

The tribes start to build their shelters at opposite ends of the camp and Colton obviouses that there’s a clear divide in this “One World”.  He’s not happy about that because he’d much rather be hanging out with the girls.  In fact, while his tribemates are busy building the shelter, he decides to go over and get to know the women of Salami.

This does not go unnoticed by Matt.

I’ll vag punch a gay if I have to

He says no one cares if Colton is gay, but he’s not trying to fit in with all the manly guys and if he doesn’t stop that, well they’re going to vote his swishy ass outta here.  I’m paraphrasing.  He makes sure to tell Colton he’s in trouble for hanging with the girls, that is, unless he wants to be a double agent.

I’m not bi.

Don’t make me vag-nut punch you

Colton doesn’t like feeling bullied by Matt and tells us that Matt may think he’s running the show, but if he gets his way that ass is gonna be tapped torch is gonna be snuffed.

There seems to be a strong guy alliance that has formed, and Jay (model) tells the other dudes that they may be putting a target on their backs since they are all young and fit.  Matt’s not worried.  He thinks it is CLEARLY the dominant alliance, so he’s sitting pretty as far as he’s concerned.  I guess he’s forgotten that nine minus four equals FIVE.  But….considering the way this game usually does go in the beginning, he’s probably right about being safe.

Meanwhile at Salami, a couple of the gals have decided to try and build a fire…..

By torturing one of their chickens.

Is that some new fire starting method I’m unaware of?  What the hell?  If you’re worried about it getting away, build a coop or something….is it really necessary to hold the thing inert by its ankles all day?

Colton uses this opportunity to tell the girls how much he needs an idol and to beg them to help him out if they find a clue.  Come on gals, you KNOW he needs it.  UGH.  The begging is ridiculous; why should they even care at this point whether he comes or goes?  If he needs an idol so badly he should try and find one on his own, not beg other people to try and help him find one.

Over in Manville, Jay is working hard to start a fire.  He tells us that he has no interest in working with any of the women.  In fact, he thinks they should just stay on their side of the camp and the guys will stay on theirs.

Vaginas are sneaky and manipulative

Jay manages to get a fire started and this doesn’t go unnoticed by the women.  Sabrina offers them a chicken if they’ll start a fire for Salami.  Matt’s not having that; the guys were supposed to get a chicken in the original deal without having to swap anything for it.  As far as he’s concerned, there’ll be no talk of help until the chicks give up one of the chickens.

So Sabrina is DENIED.  Monica and Alicia decide to take a crack at the guys.  Monica reminds them that they stole the ladies’ axe; if they start a fire for the girls they can call it even.  Tarzan counters by reminding the girls that they owe them a chicken.  Alicia tries to steal some embers from the fire while everyone else is talking, but Leif stops her.

DENIED again!

Alicia tries another tactic.  Will the guys give them fire if Monica takes her pants off.  Whaaaaat?  Did she seriously just offer to strip for fire?  Oh wait, no, she tried to offer someone else’s stripping for fire WITHOUT EVEN ASKING THEM ABOUT IT FIRST.

Meanwhile, she’s the one showing her ass

Tarzan and Douchezan might consider that offer, if there’s a pole involved.  And they get naked.  Yeah, they’re not that desperate.  Yet.  Shit, maybe if they spent as much energy trying to make their own fire as they do flapping their gums with the guys about sharing theirs they’d HAVE IT ALREADY!!!

But why do that when you can keep harping at the guys to give it to ya?  After dark, Kat and Kim take a turn.  They don’t even get close to the fire before Michael (banker and truck supply thief) stops them.  He asks who they think is in charge over in the men’s camp, and they tell him Tarzan.

Michael can’t believe they would think that Tarzan is in charge.  They don’t really; they’re just fucking with him a bit.  Kim says they know it’s him, Matt, and Bill.  Of course Michael likes that answer better.  He also likes that the guys have fire and the girls don’t.  Shot down again.

Still later, all the guys are sleeping and Monica and Christina sneak into the men’s camp to try and steal an ember from their fire.  UGH!!!  Someone just give them the fucking thing so we can move on already!!!

The guys aren’t total idiots; it looks like they’ve slept surrounding the fire, but the girls still manage to get away with an ember to use.  In the end it doesn’t matter because even though they start a fire with the stolen ember, they are unable to keep that fire going.  JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!!

To paraphrase the words of BellicoseBaby…..How the fuck do you go on Survivor and not know how to start a fire??!?  I mean, SHIT.  It’s the TWENTY FOURTH FUCKING SEASON; there are a few things everyone should know they’ll need to be able to do by now.  One of them is START A FUCKING FIRE!!!!  Next thing ya know someone will tell us all about how they don’t know how to swim.  Or they’re allergic to rice or some other such crap.

Now Kat makes an attempt at starting a fire.

Either that or she’s made a Survivor Style vibrator

She’s having no luck.  Christina knows how important fire is.  She knows that some of her tribemates are not interested in making a deal with the guys, but she thinks it’s not so much about pride; it’s about survival.

So she decides to take things into her own hands and negotiate for fire with the guys.  Jonas tells her that if the girls weave forty fronds for them, they will give them fire.  Christina says that’s too many, so the guys counter with twenty.  Christina agrees.  Alicia arrives at the end of the deal making and is PISSED; she doesn’t trust Christina’s motives.

If you’re not offering someone’s else’s stripping, your motives are SUSPECT

So now Alicia wants Christina gone first.  Makes sense to me!

Meanwhile, Sabrina partakes in a little idol hunting while walking back from her bath.  They seem to be hidden just as well as they’ve been in previous season, because she finds on almost immediately.  Sadly for her though, the idol is designated for one of the guys; she must give it to one of them before tribal council.  That sucks.

No Shit

She says Colton is an obvious choice for the idol.  Wrong!  I think that’s a stupid choice.  She should try to get one of the other guys on her side and form a secret alliance.  She could suggest to them that Colton would be good to keep around, but in the end giving Colton the idol isn’t really going to gain her anything.

Immunity challenge time!

After the obligatory hellos with Jeff, he explains the challenge.  Each tribe member will jump from a 20 foot tower into a net.  After that, they will race across a giant balance beam and make their way over a long rope bridge.  Once all tribe members are across, they raise their flag and win immunity.  They’ll also win flint, so the girls REALLY want to come away with the big V here.

As they start the challenge, Jeff tells them that they need to be sure to keep their arms to their chests and land on their backs as they jump from the tower to the net.  Listening proves to be a challenging skill for the ladies as Nina lands directly on her face.

YEOUCH.

All of a sudden I feel like I’m watching Wipeout!

Kourtney takes it to another level and lands on her hand, hurting her wrist in the process.  She joins her tribe on the mat and the challenge continues.  But the guys pull ahead quickly as Kourtney seems to be nursing her hand a lot and is having difficulty climbing the ladder to the balance beam.  Once up there, she sits down and a few minutes later she says she’s feeling dizzy.  Jeff stops the challenge and calls for medical to look at her.  Dr. Ramona

TURTLE TIME!

No, no, not THAT Ramona….. DOCTOR Ramona

I have no time for turtles

She takes a look at Kourtney and says it could be sprained or it could be broken; she’s gonna need an x-ray to know for sure, and then she’s either gonna be in or she’s gonna be ouwt.  They take Kourtney away and Jeff gives the tribes an option for the challenge.  It was designed with an equal number in mind, so it’s now over since Kourtney had to leave.  Technically Manono has won since they were ahead when the challenge was cancelled.

Jeff gives them an opportunity to give a gesture of good faith and continue the challenge.  Or they can call it here and the guys will get immunity and the girls will go to tribal council.  The men huddle up for a quick discussion, and decide on taking the win.

The girls are not happy.  Christina asks them don’t they want to finish and compete and do it the right way?

Nope.

Douchezan reminds them that this is a game and there will be plenty of other challenges for them to prove themselves and try to win.  Chelsea thinks the guys don’t give a crap about them at all; it’s a no mercy game.  Oh, can it!  I think it’s ridiculous that they’re acting like such babies about the guys taking the win.  As if they wouldn’t have done the SAME EXACT THING if the shoe had been on the opposite foot.

Later at camp, Matt goes to the women’s camp and apologizes for having to take the win that way.  Kim’s not happy because the guys weren’t chivalrous, and I still don’t understand why she thought they should be IN A COMPETITION!!!    Also…..since when are chivalry and giving up the win synonymous?

Meanwhile Sabrina has some hidden immunity idol business to attend to; she’s got to give that idol to someone.  She tells Colton that she has it, but it can only be used by a guy

Give it to me or I will strangle you then steal this scarf!  It’s so fetch!

She gives him the idol.  He really needs to make sure no one knows he has it – going to one of the alliance of four and pitching himself as their fifth would be a good idea.  Sabrina tells him he should make a big play to earn everyone’s respect.  He tells her that the guys are only keeping him around to be a spy.  SO USE THAT!  She tells him that she wants him to stick around because it will be no fun without him.

Colton tells us that Matt thinks he’s a puppet, but he’s in for a huge surprise if everything goes the way Colton wants it to.   He’s gonna target him for the next vote.  We’ll see how that plays out, although I wouldn’t mind seeing Matt getting blindsided; he’s such an arrogant jackass.

Salami needs to decide who should go home tonight.  Sabrina’s worried about how well Kourtney will be able to perform, even if she DOES come back.  She’s not the only one worried, but they think it’s hard to make a final decision without even knowing what’s going on with her.

Sabrina’s hoping that Kourtney won’t come back to the game since that will make everyone’s decision easy.  Alicia would rather have Kourtney and her bum wrist that Christina; she wants that bitch gone for getting them fire.

Salami arrives at tribal council and they do the tradition dipping of the torches into the flames.  Fire’s your life, blah blah blah.  Jeff asks Alicia how it felt to find out they were living in the same camp as the guys.

It would be better if my boobs worked on them.

She’s glad the guys decided to set up their camp away from the girls so she could more easily bond with the women away from the distraction of guys.  Christina rolls her eyes.  Jeff lets that go and asks how they got fire without having flint.  He’s a sneaky bastard, isn’t he?

Christina explains the deal she made with the guys and predictably Alicia jumps right in talking about what a shady deal it was and how Christina is trying to get in good with the guys.  Christina disagrees.  Alicia says shady 4,239 times.  Jeff looks on in disbelief.

Chelsea says that people are less concerned with coming together as a tribe and more concerned about their individual game.  She explains, “It’s women.  It’s like we can’t all agree on everything and that’s just part of it.”

Plus Alicia is on the rag and you know how that can be……

Who told you that?!?

Jeff wants to know who the fuck is in charge, but Monica admits that they have no leader.  Jeff no likey.  He tells them they better pull it together or they’ll be spending a lot of time with him at tribal council.

And I will do my happy sausage-fest dance!

He finally breaks the Kourtney news to them:  her wrist is indeed broken, so she’s not able to continue.  So, lucky for them, no one has to get voted out tonight.  He tosses them a flint and sends them on their way.  He tells them it’s only day three, so they have plenty of time to turn this around.  Bad news?  There are thirty six days left and if they don’t straighten out their shit they’ll go down one by one by one.

In her final scene Kourtney tells us what happened wasn’t really her fault, but it kinda was.  She thinks if her arm had been out a little further she wouldn’t have gotten hurt as badly.  Know what else would have worked?  LISTENING TO DIRECTIONS!!

That’s just silly

And there you have it, Gasmi.  What did you think of this season’s opener?  Are you onboard with the men vs. women thing?  What about them all living together?  How happy will Jeff be if the girls all go quickly?  Has anyone else heard of the chicken torture method of fire starting?

As always, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! So I’ll sign off and let you get to it.  See ya soon!!

SWAK, PottyMouth

 

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

45 Comments

  1. 1
    Moli Moli
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    It’s so fetch!…teehee love that silly movie

  2. 2
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    I propose renaming Manono “Manotonous” because most of the guys look and sound the same to me.

    I think only picking “strong” people to align with is a stupid strategy. I would want a mix of strong and smart, and the way this show is cast those two rarely go together.

    And Kourtney…what an idiot. She said in her final confessional her children would be proud of her. For what? Being to stupid to follow directions? Yeah…that won’t get ‘em teased at school.

    Glad to have ya back, PM.

  3. 3
    Moli Moli
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    How is the world do you go on Survivor and not know how to make fire? The damn show is in its seven thousandth season, everyone knows you don’t get flint the first day. I agree catty all of the men are all the same person to me except the self proclaimed girl of the tribe. Thank you Colton for setting male homosexual stereotypes back 30 years. How do you not know not have have your limbs flailing around while jumping off a tall structure? Really, Salami????? Did you honestly think the men were going to continue the game???

  4. 4
    ChaCha
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Is it just me, or is our education system really messed up…what with teachers like Naonka (sp.) and Alicia? Parents, if you hear that your kid’s teacher is going on Survivor, yank your babies out of that school!!!

    Second question: Is it just me, or is anyone else grossed out by Tarzan’s hairy moobs? He needs to cover up those bad pec implants. They are soooo NOT fetch.

  5. 5
    lindaw205
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    I don’t understand why Alicia was so pissed that Christina was able to negotiate for fair. A negotiation that didn’t include taking off their clothes. And how stupid was that to give the idol to Colton? Do these people not watch Survivor before coming on the show??

  6. 6
    onehundredyearsofcholera onehundredyearsofcholera
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    “Im not bi” – oh god, i almost died crying. Great recap!

  7. 7
    2muchbravo
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    I was watching while on the treadmill at the gym. I had on my iPod so I wasn’t listening only watching. It’s pretty funny how much you can still follow along without actually hearing any of it!
    Yeah, I know about the fire starting! They should be able to swim too. It’s like the twats that go on Amazing Race and don’t know how to drive stick! Duh!

  8. 8
    considerthis
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 6:40 am

    This show is setting women back 100 years at least. Granted the men struck first by stealing the women’s stuff but at some point you have to swallow your pride and realize that while the men suck big time we need them and to continue in a pissing contest is going to leave you cold, wet and hungry and eventually on a plane home.

    The “we are women hear us roar” strategy is redic. I find no fault whatsoever in the boys deciding to take the WIN as first they were kicking the women’s ASSES anyway and in the off chance the women down one member would have mounted a come back and won the men would be going to tribal. C’mon gals – BIG DUH on that decision and STOP whining about it as you would have done the same thing!

    Completely over Alicia – a poor leader whose is waaaay to paranoid already and pretty bitchy too.

    Much eye candy on the boys side. However, thank god that one guy is a model where he does not have to speak as I kept looking for the stashed helium tank in the woods. Glad to see the “little peeps” represented and he does seem to have freakish strength. Tarzan and the other Trayzan are bizzare and remind me of Rev Jim from Taxi – aka mumbling fools.

    I do like Sabrina. How in the F do these people find these tiny idols on these HUGE beaches/jungles within 5 minutes of being there? Seemed a bit staged as she was already bonding with FLAMBOYANTLY gay Colton and lo and behold found the idol that would benefit him and allow him to actually have a chance on the he-man team – otherwise you know FLAM ( my new name 4him) was on the way out. I have to say that anybody who is so in your face about anything have a tendency to wear me down. FLAM prancing around the beach and giggling like a 9 year old girl for the next 12 weeks could be painful. Hopefully he uses the idol wisely and shows more depth to who he is.

  9. 9
    Moli Moli
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 7:54 am

    FLAM prancing around the beach and giggling like a 9 year old girl….Teemotherfreakinghee. I’ve been calling him Twink

  10. 10
    RazzBeth
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 8:19 am

    I’m sure they chose these women in particular to further the men are better dictate that Survivor has going. I know how to make fire 3 different ways (which comes in real handy when I am sitting in my cubicle staring at a monitor…), but I think the questionnaire the women filled out had 2 questions.
    1. Can you make a fire?
    2. Do you plan on learning to make a fire before you start the game?

    If they answered no to both of those questions, they were in. Because these dumb bunnies were relying on someone else in their tribe to be able to do it.

  11. 11
    itchy
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Well, they were trying to start the fire — they were using eyeglasses, which works if there’s enough sun. Didn’t someone do just that on a previous Survivor?

    And if there are really “no rules” — what’s stopping them from switching things up tribe-wise?

    I hate the douchebag theft already. It’s fitting he’s a banker.

    And I’m torn on the immunity challege. I think the guys should have gone ahead and run the challenge. Even if it meant losing (because they’d have an opportunity to get rid of dead weight — i.e., Colton — early in the season). Not running the challenge just makes them look like a lot of nasty pussies. Which most or all of them already seem to be.

    I just don’t understand the whole anti-girl thing, I guess. But then, I’ve never been much of a jock or the type to hang around with groups of guys (other than with my bands, but there’s no better way to attract girls than being in a band). And in this game, it’s just poor strategy — why alienate people who might be voting for you? Why not just play it cool?

    So I’m already torn over this whole season. At least there’s no Redemption Island. And no Russell.

  12. 12
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 9:09 am

    The absence of Russell…or the mention of his name every five minutes…in and of itself means this season is already better than the last four. Or is it five?

  13. 13
    msjacqmills
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 9:33 am

    This was one of the worst first episodes in a long time. How can the girls SUCK this bad?! And, then finding the HHI so easily? I hate the freakin’ HHI. I’d rather there be Redemption Island that that stupid idol.

    And, Colton was so so ridiculous and irritating. Why would you come on Survivor and immediately alienate yourself from your tribe like that?

    And, please don’t get me started on the girls failing at fire. Did you notice them rubbing a piece of small wood on a piece of big wood? And nothing else to get it started or going? Fucking morons!

  14. 14
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Itchy — I think using glasses has only been successful once, IIRC. Michelle from Fiji did it back then, but I can’t think of anyone else.

    I too was PISSED that Sabrina gave the idol to Colton. I mean seriously, you’re going to waste it by giving it to the guy who will just be gone on Day 6 if not Day 3? Ughhh what a dummy. I probably would have given it to Leif or Jonas .. someone in the middle of the pack who won’t garner attention either way until the obvious boots are gone.

    Anyone else think Colton is playing up the gay stereotypes? I kept getting a weird vibe from him through the tv .. but I can’t figure out what the benefit to that strategy would be…

  15. 15
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Didn’t Yau Man use his glasses to start fire?

  16. 16
    2muchbravo
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 10:00 am

    Yeah, but Yau Man was smart and could figure out how best to make it work.

  17. 17
    MommyQCT
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Yeah – these girls are giving women a bad name. They just kept asking for fire like the deserved it or something… I love when one of them asked one of the guys for “fire just to see, we would like to look at each other” WTF do they care what you want fire for you idiot! I am so glad the guys did not give in.
    If this were not battle of the sexes NO ONEwould have expected to “get fire” from the other tribe without a fair trade of some sory and NO ONE would have expected the guys to continue on in the game if they already won.
    I am embarassed to watch the rest of the season considering they plan on using their looks and bodies for everything…

  18. 18
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I seem to remember the Chinese girl that Yul/Ozzy went to the final 3 with also used her glasses to build a fire.

    I actually don’t mind that the women don’t know how to build a fire. If I were going on “Survivor,” I’d be more concerned about bulking up, getting more physically fit, etc. I think knowing how to build a fire would be down the list, because I’d assume someone on my tribe would be able to do that.

  19. 19
    Scarlet
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 11:04 am

    I accidentally clicked on one of the photos. It was titled “Jeff likes the salami”. I fell out. Heart you, potty.

  20. 20
    Hazylazy
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    I met Rupert once and he’s really a sweetheart and very down-to-earth. Monica Padilla who was on Russell’s first season (I think she got down to the final 5) was a student of mine at UCF and she is way more intelligent than they showed on the show.

    Also, I nearly fell out of my chair when they said Troyzan is 50. Dude looks damn good.

  21. 21
    Xouille Xouille
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Hum… One tribe’s name rhymes with “my no-no” and the other with salami… and when my no-no meets a salami, it makes : one world !
    Yes, Jeff definitly chose those names.

    Battle of the sexes = stupid !
    Season 24 and yet none of the members of one tribe can make a damn fire : stupid !
    Making all the contestants live together on the same camp = stupid !

    I can only guess one of the producers was all “OMG Drama let’s do this !” after being pitched the idea.
    Seriously it is like watching high school kids stranded together on a deserted island.
    I predict a sausage-fest by episode 3, which will probably make Jeff Probst even more insufferable than he already is…

  22. 22
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    First time on the gasm in ages – loved the recap Potty. Looks like I choose the right one to re-connect to the gasm with.

    I think having them on the same beach MAY become interesting now that the girls have flint and can hopefully start playing more strategically. Day 1 – using striptease and / or food as bait isn’t going to tempt the boys – but Day 27 those things might work.

    When I saw it was Women vs. Men I thought finally there will be an alliance with women that might make it past week 2, but these women are NOT impressing me. I really want to see a show where the women can actually use their brains to outsmart men. GRR.

    Oh and as for the men taking the Win – I thought it was smart just because there’s always a chance someone could get hurt, why not take a win without risking anyone more injuries so their full team is ready to go at the next challenge. It was a smart move and the women should be grateful – because it’s highly likely that one of THE girls could have been injured. Plus, Courtney was out either way.

    Are ya’ll watching from chat on Wednesdays? I’d love to reconnect with some of my ole gasmii.

  23. 23
    pretty good year
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    If I’m not mistaken, the men weren’t risking Immunity by completing the challenge. For one, production would never risk possibly losing two people in the same round and messing up their filming schedule, especially when they only have 18 people instead of the usual 20. They have less wiggle room. Secondly, Jeff said that the challenge required nine to start and nine to finish. Even if they finished the challenge, the women would lose because they only had eight, so not choosing to finish only made the men look bad. It’s not like they had anything to lose.

    I thought it was a good premiere. I don’t think Sabrina’s choice was a bad one. The note said she had to give the Idol away before the first Tribal Council, and I believe she found it just before the challenge, so she only had a few hours to think about it. I think using the Idol to keep Manono’s dead weight safe for an extra round was a good move. There will be other Idols. At this early point in the game, simple moves are the best ones. Vote out your weak, but keep the other tribe from voting out theirs.

    I was a little disappointed in the premiere overall, though. I hate that they are filming in Samoa for the fourth time in six seasons. It’s a beautiful island, but it’s been done. I like the fact that there is no Redemption Island and no returning players. However, I don’t like too many people in this cast, and the One World twist hasn’t paid off yet, since the tribes basically chose to live in separate camps anyway.

  24. 24
    Clair Clair
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    TINK!!!!! Glad you’re back. :}

  25. 25
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Aww thanks Clair! :)

  26. 26
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    “I’m not bi.” That was funny.

    Thank you for posting a picture of my secret internet fantasy husband. I promise not to mention him unless things get boring.

    My problem with Colton is that there was a shot of him, from behind, in shorts that were much too tight for him. Colton’s got a BIG ass. He needs to START shopping in the Men’s large department and STOP shopping in the ladies petite department.

    Matt has a long head that’s probably why he’s so angry. That Jay is cute in a Jesus sort of way. Is there such a thing as an ALPHA FE-MALE? I know there are ALPHA MALES and ALPHA DOGS but what would a woman be called? Whatever it is — I think ALICIA is one of them.

  27. 27
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Mister_D I think the term you are looking for is HBIC or Head Bitch in Charge. I’m not a fan of the B-word but for Alicia – it works.

  28. 28
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Tink:

    I was trying to be diplomatic but your term is definitely on target.

  29. 29
    AntSuck
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    Even though Matt’s a douchebag, I still can’t help but think he’s HOTTTTTTTTTTTT (hard t sound)!

  30. 30
    itchy
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Oh yeah, the only way it makes sense that Colton should go to the girls begging for an idol was because he already knew they’d have to use it on someone on the other tribe. Which makes me suspect that Colton is a plant.

  31. 31
    Robin Robinez
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Thanks PottyMouth!

    Whoever that gal was that was abusing that chicken needs to go. Otherwise I will fixate on her too much. That chicken didnt need to be held by the feet so that she could “scare” folks with it. That animal was in distress. Kill it and eat it or let it go. Don’t torture it. My very first dislike of the season! And so soon!

    The chick that said “oh, be a man” after they decided to take the win got on my last nerve. You cant have it both ways, stupid chick that thinks showing up in underwear ON THE FIRST NIGHT expecting FIRE. Either take it like a Woman or stfu. And quit pissing me off by showing up in fucking underwear. You look so desperate.

    Speaking of showing up at night. So, they went back to camp, put their clothes on, then devised an ingenious “ember retrieval system” to use when the guys went into a deep REM sleep, because everyone sleeps real deep when in a strange place, while sleeping on the ground, out in the open, ON THE FIRST NIGHT….then they snuck up on them and found the perfect ember to attach to their device @patent pending. I gotta say though, I really laughed when the dumbasses let the fire go out after all the teaching from production on how to tote that ember back safely.

    That attorney guy who sits like a 2 dollar hooker with his legs spread apart and his crew are getting too cocky too early. Although, when compared with the other folks on their tribe they are the fittest. Then again, can those knuckleheads do a puzzle?

    I felt so bad for the gal that broke her arm. She seemed sweet. I didnt like that some of the gals already questioned another member of their tribe so early as to whether she was really hurt. Way to support each other bitches. Do they really think that she gave up within the first 40 seconds of a game for a million dollars after coming this far? We got alotta Einstiens this year folks!~

    I remember watching a Survivor like show many yrs ago, I think it was in New Zealand or someplace and was before Survivor. Anyway, the two tribes were kept in close proximity and alot of the more interesting stuff occured when they were trading goods and services. Some folks got royally screwed in some cases because of the sheer need, fire for example. It also changed the dynamics within the tribe because everyone has different needs and some of the goods traded were worth more to some members of the tribe than what they got for in the trade. Sometimes the negotiator dropped the ball. I hope to see more trading of goods and services. It will sure beat wasting our time with a redemption challenge every other week.

    Robin

  32. 32
    itchy
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Survivor: Negotiation Island.

    It’d never work though. How’d they work a Hantz into the concept?

  33. 33
    Indigo
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    The guy who stole, Michael? HE IS A HOTTY. Super tall guys with dark hair win my gay lil heart everyday.

    Now if only he could be wearing what Coltan was wearing. I love a bubble butted man in skimpy clothes. Especially if again he’s tall and dark haired.

  34. 34
    Robin Robinez
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    @itchy,

    Hantz is laying at the bottom of a tree in a hole and if anyone finds him they will be sent off the island immediately. It is like the Anti-Idol. If you find a Troll, you are out!

    They also have a midget as back-up in case they need to edit scenes.

  35. 35
    Mimo
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 7:51 am

    I’m afraid, really afraid, that this season is going to be another bust. I’m sitting in my living room, yelling out suggestions to the girls. How lame is that? I’ll be really bent if the women force me to start supporting the boy team.

    When the women caught both chickens, how about using the excuse, we’re stealing this chicken. Return what you stole from us and we’ll give you back your chicken. And to let the ember die after stealing it? How stupid can you be?

  36. 36
    itchy
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Hmm. Considering the head-honcho of this show is a fundie, maybe the fact that the girls seem to suck so hard is all part of the plan? I can see Santorum and his GOP buddies watching this show and stroking their chins and finding complete justification for their utter disrespect for women.

  37. 37
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

    itchy, I can tell that you’re a smart guy and all, but I think you are letting your utter contempt for all things Republican/Christian get the better of you.

  38. 38
    itchy
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    Oh, don’t worry. They’ll never get the best of me. Never.

  39. 39
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Okay. Don’t let your guard down, even for a minute.

  40. 40
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Damn. I guess I’m in the minority, but I actually enjoyed this first ep. I know almost everyone is complaining about the crazy, dumbass girls (myself included)…but look at how pissed we all are about that and how it gets us talking. Survivor producers: Score 1 :-)

    Alicia is a TEACHER? Fuck me sideways that is a scary thought. Glad I haven’t procreated.

    Am I also in the minority about Jeff? Love him! He’s just the right combo of smarmy, goofy, witty, and knowledgeable.

    I also adore Colton. I think he’s just being himself. I’ll take watching a cute little gay boy on TV over a buff douchnozzle any day.

    Nice to meet you, PottyMouth! I’ve been on The Gasm for a few months.

  41. 41
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    …”only” been on The Gasm, I meant.

    One more thing: Robin I totally agree about the chicken chick. Someone should hold her ass upsidedown by the ankles clunking her head into shit for a few hours and she how she feels.

  42. 42
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    AmyOops…I’m one of the few others who likes Jeff. You are not alone.

  43. 43
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    @cattyfan: Yay! Until I started reading Survivor recaps and such I hadn’t the foggiest he was not universally adored LOL.

  44. 44
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted February 22, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    I adore Jeff too (we can start our own support group). I also love when he co-hosts Live with Kelly, he’s so cute and snarky and smarmy. Ya just know if he wasn’t famous and rich he’d be the type to make a great recapper. lol

  45. 45
    itchy
    Posted February 22, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I like Probst too, he definitely fits this show and he always seems so happy to have work.

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