Survivor Recap: Poopy Pants

Survivor

By PottyMouth | Sunday, April 1, 2012 | 10:21 am | 50 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Survivor

Previously on Survivor, Colon was Queen of the Assholes, reigning with his court jester, Abitchia cackling alongside him.  Until one day he couldn’t expel the bile inside himself fast enough and it turned on him, eating away at his insides and forcing his exit from the game.  He left Abitchia with nothing but her disturbingly saggy boobs to save her, taking his immunity idol with him as a souvenir.  Will Abitchia rise up to take his place or is there another asshole waiting in the wings?

This guy knows

The newly merged tribe returns to camp to find a feast waiting there for them.  There’s fruit and cheese and crackers and, of course, booze.  This time it’s champagne.  Yikes!  I predict a lot of headaches in the morning.  They dig right in.

Troyzan says it really feels like Survivor to him now.  They pop the corks on the bubbly and dig in.  Abitchia wishes Colon was still there and that Christina had gone home instead.  Well, wish in one hand and shit in the other, Abitchia, and see which fills up first.  She’s pissed at Colon because he didn’t give her the idol and slurs on and on about it.  She thinks she might have to go back with the women’s alliance to keep herself safe.

The backsctabbing ish about to beggin.

Yeah, hopefully the knife will be in YOUR back this time, ya dumb bitch!

The next morning they discuss names for their new tribe.  They decide on Tikiano because it means year of the god.  That out of the way, they start making breakfast.  Jonas is cooking up some coconut, lightly caramelized.  At the end, he’s gonna hit it with a little sea water, trying to manipulate the flavor of the coconut into the flavor of a potato chip.

Honestly, it all tastes the same to me what with my nose being all stuffed up, but THEY don’t know that and it sounds impressive.  Next, I’ll be making palm frond froth.

Meanwhile, Jay is making some coffee and Tarzan is excited to tell him just how he likes it.   Jay informs him that the coffee is only for the people that won it.  Hilariously, he thinks Jay said it’s for the people who want it, so he replies, “I want it.”  “You didn’t WIN it.”  Jay tells him.  Oh yeah, you’re right.  So Tarzan backs off on the coffee.  But not on Jay.  I think he’s hoping to taste the caffeine on his breath or something.

I know I can’t drink any, so I’ll just stand here and smell your coffee breath if that’s alright.

Poor wittle Tarzan, no caffeine for him.

Jay tells us he’s not real happy about so many people being in camp, especially the ones he doesn’t like.  He is planning to stick with Salami and pick off the Manono tribe one by one.  Tarzan, on the other hand, is hoping that the guys will come back together and get rid of all the smelly girls (except for Abitchia because she sorta looks like a dude).

He pulls Michael aside to make sure the guys are still sticking together.  He tells Michael that the six men and Abitchia have the majority and can rule the game.  Michael tells Tarzan, sure, he’ll vote with the guys.  Then he tells us he don’t trust nor like any of those guys.  “I told Tarzan I’m in but I’m not with Tarzan.”

I just needed to get him away from me because he stinks so bad.

Time for the reward challenge.  Titty-caca arrives on the mat and Jeff tells them that they’ll be split into two tribes for this challenge.  One member of each tribe will race through a series of obstacles and dig up a bag of puzzle pieces and race back. Then the next person goes and so on and so forth. Once all four bags have been collected, the two remaining tribe members will use those bags to solve a puzzle.

First tribe to finish win beer and pizza PLUS a secret note to be read while they’re at their reward.  They do a random draw for the tribes and the two teams end up being Jay, Abitchia, Sabrina, Chelsea, Troyzan and Christine vs. Leif, Michael, Kat, Kim, Tarzan and Jonas.

And………go!

Jay and Leif are the first out for their teams and the first thing they have to do is dig a hole in the sand that’s big enough for them to then crawl under a fence.  Jay makes quick work of it, while Leif struggles.  I am not gonna lie; the sight of Leif diving face first under that fence and then trying in vain to push through, legs all wiggling around like crazy, almost made me pee my pants.

Time for a quick bathroom break!

Why the hell would you try to go face first through the sand instead of wriggling through on your back?????  Dummy.

While this is going on, Jay successfully maneuvers through the next obstacle AND digs up the first bag of puzzle pieces.  FINALLY Leif gets through, but the damage is already done; he returns to the mat for his tribe only slightly before Chelsea returns with the second bag for hers.

Kim heads out next versus Abitchia.  Kim has to lose even more precious time to make the hole bigger because her dumbass team decided to start with the smallest guy.  Abitchia gets the third bag and Sabrina heads out to get the fourth before Kim returns with her team’s second bag.  Luckily the loser team has Kat.  She may be an idiot, but that girl can BOOK.  She returns with the third bag for her team before Sabrina brings back the fourth and final bag for hers.

Michael heads out and BLOWS through the course, catching up to Sabrina, so now the teams are neck and neck as they both start on the puzzle.  We’ve got Christina and Troyzan working on it for their team and Jonas and Tarzan for the others.  Jonas basically tells Tarzan to shut the fuck up while Christina and Troyzan seem to be working marginally better together.  It’s down to the last three pieces of the puzzle and the teams are still neck and neck, until…….

Victory.

Troyzan celebrates by yelling out that this is HIS island.  Alrighty then.   So the winners head out for their reward pizza party, while the losers head back to camp with their bellies (and pants) full of sand.

Over at the pizza party, Jay, Sabrina, Abitchia, Chelsea, Troyzan toast to their success; they are so happy to be eating something other than rice and coconut.  Yeah, I’d be super psyched to be eating a coagulated grease pie with warm beer.  YUM!!!!

Abitchia has their secret note and reads it.  I think we all know it’s about the hidden immunity idol and the fact that one is hidden at camp.  Chelsea says they should not tell the others about this so they will have a better chance of finding it.  Sounds like a plan!  Chelsea tells us she certainly doesn’t want the old Manono tribe peeps to get their hands on it because that could mess up Salami’s plans to boot them out.

Meanwhile, over at camp Titty-caca, Jonas talks to Michael, saying they should figure out what they want to do.  Michael tells him that Tarzan already spoke to him and he thought the plan was to get the guys back together, using Abitchia as a majority vote.  Jonas is PISSED.

You need to keep your fucking mouth shut!

You’re not the boss of me

Dude.  You smell.

Tarzan does not like being called the stinky kid so he tells Jonas that’s IT, he’s DONE; he is out of the alliance.  So glad to see the oldest dude on the island is also the most mature.

I’m not playing with you guys anymore, so there!

What the hell is on Tarzan’s leg?!?!?!?!?!?  Seriously.  What the fuck is that?

Think about this picture later.

The next morning, Troyzan is up before anyone else, so he decides to look for the idol.  I have to admit, the sight of him putting his hand blindly into tree holes reminded me of a similar scene from Flash Gordon.  Shit!  I can’t find a picture of it!  You guys know what I’m talking about, right?

This is obviously not what I’m talking about. I thought itchy would like this one more.  Plus I couldn’t find the other one.  But it’s really for itchy.  Mm hmm.  Totally.  Consider it a non-Easter present.

Hey, did you guys hear that they’re talking about remaking this one as well?  STOP REMAKING 80’s MOVIES, HOLLYWOOD!!

Anyway, after almost getting his hand bit off by an angry crab, he does find the idol.  As you would expect, he is super excited.  He knows that the idol can take him further in the game if he uses it wisely.  I wonder if he’ll be able to keep his mouth shut about having it.

Time for the immunity challenge.  Titty-caca arrives and Jeff asks about their new tribe name.  They explain to him that they chose Titty-caca because it means year of the god.

Huh.  And here I thought it was the year of the asshole.

He takes the immunity idol, telling them that tribal immunity is a thing of the past and it’s now all about individual immunity.  For this challenge, each of them will be perched on a log while balancing balls on a wooden disk.  How he gets through these explanations without giggling is beyond me.

Gentlemen, kindly put your balls away.  We have rubber ones to use for this challenge.

How many ball gags did they have to mutilate for this challenge?

They’ll start with one ball and then at regular intervals they’ll add more and more balls, making it more challenging to balance them.  If at any point a ball drops, they are out.  The disk or a ball touches their body?  Out.  Fall off the log?  Out.  Last person standing wins immunity.

And we’re off!

Everyone balances one ball on their platter, but this proves to be too much for Tarzan who quickly falls off his perch.  Everyone else makes it the next round.  Jeff tells them to grab their ball and add another one to the disk.

Once everyone takes their hands off their balls, round two begins.  Two balls prove to be too much for Christina to handle, and she is out.

If I were her, I’d “accidentally” bump into Abitchia on my way to the bench.

Michael has balls hanging on both sides of his disk and this ends up being his downfall.  He is the next one out.  Chelsea’s the next to go, dropping both of her balls.  Right behind her is Kim who drops one her blue balls, knocking her out of the running for immunity.

Jeff counts it down then tells everyone remaining to grab their balls; they are safe.  For the next round they have to add another ball into the mix, so now they are all balancing three balls.  They’ll now go until there is only one person left.

Abitchia is out quickly, and it looks like Sabrina will be next as her balls inch closer and closer to the edge of the disk.  But Sabrina is a ball master and skillfully rebalances them on the disk, saving her this time.  Jays is the next to go, falling off his perch, while Jeff tells us that Troyzan’s balls haven’t moved in a long time.

I know.  I’ve been watching them like a hawk.

Jonas is balancing two balls on one edge and one ball on the other edge when one drops off, knocking him out.  A breeze starts to blow their balls and this time Sabrina can’t recover and she is out.  Leif and his purple balls are gone next, leaving only Kat and Troyzan.

It looks like Troyzan is going to be in big trouble here are his balls start to shift all over the place.  Suddenly, Kat comes out of her almost catatonic stupor and it is the end of her.  She steps off the perch, handing the win to Troyzan.

I appoint thee Lord of the Balls!

Back at camp, Titty-caca congratulates Troyzan on his win; he knows he’s in a good spot right now between winning immunity, finding the hidden immunity idol and having a strong alliance going with Jay, Chelsea and Kim.  He says he’ll go along with whatever the rest of salami wants to do.

They agree that it’s gotta be someone from Manono going, and Jay thinks that Jonas should be the one to go because he seems to be the smartest one of the Manono buffoons.  Everyone seems to be on board with this plan.  Chelsea tells us she’ll miss Jonas because he cooks for them all, but he is definitely one of the strongest Manono people, so he’s gots to go.

Abitchia checks in with Kim to see which way the wind is blowing, and is told of the plan to get rid of Jonas.  In an aside, Kim tells us this is the best possible plan from her perspective.  Not only does it get rid of one of the old Manono, but it gets rid of a guy as well.  This leaves her with both girls and Salami as majorities in split voting situations, which gives her two really great options moving forward.

This is the one to watch

I like how Kim thinks and I would really LOVE to see her and Chelsea make a run of it.  Personally, I’d rather them be with Salami than the girls, but that’s just because I want Abitchia GONE.

But not all of the Salami is on the same page.  Troyzan is concerned about letting Jonas go.  After all, the dude feeds them.  Why get rid of him now?  So he decides to let Jonas know his name is on the short list.  Jonas is disappointed to learn he’s in danger and doesn’t get why they’d want to get rid of him before someone like Michael.

He decides to try and protect himself.  First step: apologize to Tarzan for yelling at him.  This mission is successful and now Tarzan is back in an alliance with Jonas.

You still smell, man.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you; that ear is full of wax and dirt, but NOT POOP!

So Tarzan, Jonas, Leif, and Troyzan gather to discuss possibly voting for Kat.  Jonas says they figured Kat because she doesn’t really contribute much around there and she annoys a lot of people.  He’s hoping it works out.

Looks like it’s laundry day in camp, or at least Chelsea is doing her laundry.  It sounds like she’s spent a lot of time cleaning off her clothes in the ocean and is now stirring them in a pot of boiling water.  Sounds gross if that’s the pot they cook in.

Well, Jonas said he needed some clam water for this soup he’s making…..

So Chelsea is stirring away, minding her own business, when along comes Tarzan, dropping his nasty ass underwear right on top of hers in the pot.  He immediately assures her that the brown stains on said underwear is NOT POOP.

Chelsea is completely grossed out and hella pissed.  Tarzan doesn’t help.  After announcing that the “dirt” stain is not poop, he proceeds to say that even if it were, the boiling water would kill any microbes.  “It’s not that contagious.”  HUH?!?!?!?!?  EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Chelsea gets her stuff out of there and stomps off as Tarzan wonders why she’s so mad.  The flies buzzing all around him assure him that they love him, even if she doesn’t.  Is it any surprise that now Chelsea wants Tarzan to go home?

The dude threw his poopy pants on top of my undies.  All the scrubbing in the world won’t fix that!!!!!!

Fuuuuuuck

Jay understands how she feels, but he really wants to stick to the plan.  He thinks it’s a mistake to switch it up after they’ve all already agreed on what to do.

Say that to me after his poopy pants are on YOUR stuff.

Time to head out to tribal.  Once there, Jeff asks about how it’s going now that it’s all about individual immunity.  Sabrina admits that it’s become a lot more chaotic since the merge and everyone is scrambling around, trying to protect themselves.

Jonas agrees and says people are targeting him, apparently because he is a provider for the tribe.  He says he thinks they should all vote out Michael instead because he is much more of a physical threat than Jonas.  Tarzan disrespects what Jonas just did.  He disrespects it greatly.  He feels like Jonas has given up his principles by throwing Mike under the bus when he doesn’t have to fight for his life.  Jonas comes back at Tarzan, saying they don’t have enough votes to get Kat out tonight.

Huh?  Wha?  What did I do?

Tarzan tells Kat that Jonas is lying, even though he is not.  He then announces that they should all vote out Jonas because he is sick and tired of Jonas undermining him.  He is such a pompous and arrogant ass.  Chelsea sticks up for Jonas, saying that more people have actually had issues with Tarzan than with Jonas.

Tarzan says he knows he’s not as likeable as Jonas, and this is because he is uncomfortable outside of an operating room where he is the one calling the shots.  Ahhhhh, that explains a lot.  He is used to being the one barking orders and is not enjoying the fact that no one listens to him out here.

I told them and told them, poopy pants are not contagious, but they still won’t let me spoon with them!

So unfair, isn’t it?

Tarzan says that if everyone wants to vote for him tonight that’s fine, but he’s voting for Jonas because of what he did.  With that, it’s time to vote.

When Jeff reads the votes, there are two for Michael.  But that doesn’t matter because all of the others are for Jonas.  As he leaves he tries to make peace with Tarzan, but the old fucker is a supreme asshole, saying “Hard feeling to you.” Back at him.  Wow.  What a jackass.

And so, the sushi chef is sent on his way.

And that’s it for this episode, Gasmi.  What did you think of this one?  Were you sad to see Jonas get the boot?  Do you think he missed the mark by focusing on Michael instead of trying to get everyone to vote for Tarzan?  What about the poopy pants debate?  Would you be okay with adding them to your laundry?  Do you believe Tarzan when he says it wasn’t poop?  And does boiling the poop all day keep the doctor away?

Can’t wait to hear what y’all have to say about this one!  See ya soon!

SWAK, PottyMouth

 

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PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

50 Comments

  1. 1
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 10:50 am

    And does boiling the poop all day keep the doctor away?”

    Most likely, since every glassful of water out of your kitchen faucet used to have poop swimming in it before it was filtered out. That reminds me…I’m thirsty.

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Can you image how someone who’s shit stains have migrated to the outside and down the leg SMELLS??? Those poor people! I didn’t give it much thought until reading Potty Mouth’s recap. I hope he sleeps right next to Albitcha, I hope he spoons the bitch!
    And crankyguy, thanks for that! I guess Tarzan was right, obviously it hasn’t killed us yet.

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Tikiano means “year of the anus” (as someone else pointed out in the minicap comments). “Year of the god” has an accent.

    Okay, back to the recap!

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Except to say that, now that I know that “year of the anus” and “year of the god” are just an accent away from each other, I think Spanish is a very cool language.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    [blush] Aw shucks, Pottymouth, thanks! [blush]

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    I wasn’t sad to see Jonas go because he came off as an idiot. If he was the smartest player on Manono, then that tribe is worse off than I thought. Between him, Leif and Tarzan, it’s hard to decide who’s the biggest idiot (I’m thinking Leif at this point, he really does seem to be ‘challenged’ in the brains department.

    And I’m surprised Kim would allow them to send their smallest guy out first — if Mike had gone first, they might have won.

    But then Chelsea would have lost and I wouldn’t have been able to watch her jump for joy.

    Priorities, people. Priorities.

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    I have a dry toilet. The contents of which I use to fertilize my vegetable garden. Uh-huh.

  8. 8
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Uh, so do we. Only I use it to fertilize the flower beds since I read that human waste, however composted, isn’t to be used for veggies.

    I just may be squeamish, but I took that article to heart and just can’t imagine dining on tomatoes and carrots knowing….

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Well, we’re doing just fine, here! And I take a certain malicious pleasure serving up my veggies whenever my annoying inlaws come for a visit… ;-D

  10. 10
    carol
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Okay, I can see why it would be smart to get rid of Jonas – he is a provider, main dude that makes food, everyone likes him. Otherwise known as the worst type to sit next to in the finals. Tarzan on the other hand would be the perfect person to sit next to in the finals – he is crazy, he already has a lot of money, no one likes him. Plus, the producers would love it because sadly, he does keep things interesting around camp. They made a whole segment about his poop-y shorts.

    I still can’t tell a lot of the girls apart, only Kat because she always looks like she is trying to remembering how to blink and breath at the same time.

  11. 11
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    You ARE malicious, itchy. Truly evil. Vile. Love you!!!!! Wish I had thought of that for peeps I don’t like, but I don’t invite them over.

    I really like my in-laws.

  12. 12
    Memememe
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Does Survivor endeavor to make each season’s cast less likeable than the previous, or is that just the caliber of people that are applying as the years drag on?

  13. 13
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    My sister has sent audition tapes to Survivor. No call backs. Not much of a shocker. She’s petite, just turned 50, married with no kids, and about as interesting (from a reality show perspective) as a tax form. I love my sissy, though!

    I will miss Jonas. He was perhaps a bit whiny but dude could cook! Dumbasses chose incorrectly yet again. Sigh.

  14. 14
    pretty good year
    Posted April 1, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    The show’s cast is halfway made up of applicants these days. The other half is made up of people who were specifically recruited by casting because they fit a certain “type” that the casting agents were looking for.

    This season, Bill, Christina, Colton, Jonas, Kim, Matt, Michael, Nina and Troyzan applied the traditional way. In fact, you can see some of their videos archived in the Sears casting contest that CBS did not too long ago. The other nine Survivors were recruited, as far as we can tell. Kourtney said she was found on Facebook, and Monica was recruited because they specifically wanted a football player’s wife. Sabraina said in an interview that she was found through her personal website, and Jay is a model and is friends with Jaime Huffman, who was also a contestant on Survivor: China and who now works as a casting agent for the show.

    It’s still better than some previous seasons, though. Survivor: Fiji only had one applicant, Gary, and he was evacuated early due to an illness. The other 18 players that season were all recruited, which is one of the reasons why fans consider it the worst season ever.

  15. 15
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Tikiano – the word “ano” means anus is Spanish, so there is no correlate to the word “year” in the name “Tikiano.” And “tiki” doesn’t mean god, it means “man” or “first man.” So the name could be interpreted as “Man Anus,” “Anus of Man,” or even “Original Anus.” Fittingly, they have named themselves a collective asshole.

    I liked Jonas, sad to see him go. Totally agree with others about what a bunch of anus’ some of these people are. Tarzan, you’re not witty and curmudgeonly – you’re overbearing and obnoxious. Alicia, what a wretch. I hope (but doubt) that Christina finds some way to get her booted.

    I know it’s already been covered, but I also don’t buy that whole thing Colton was spinning in an article a fellow Gasmi mentioned in a previous post – that he was just being wicked for the show, and that he’s not that way in real life. He is, hands down, the single most unlikeable person ever to be on this show, ill-mannered, entitled, hateful, ignorant, and proud of it. Personally, I think his gastro infection was voodoo doll induced.

  16. 16
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 7:42 am

    The more Jay talks the less I like him. I like Michael’s beard but his face isn’t all that attractive. Thank God he has a nice body or this season would be ONE BIG DISGUSTING ICK FEST.

  17. 17
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 8:02 am

    As distasteful as I find Colton, I would still rank him behind Russell and Johnny Fairplay for worst Survivor cast member ever.

    My biggest problem with this season is we’ve spent so much time on certain contestants who are completely unlikeable, I haven’t learned anything to make me care about ANY of these people.

  18. 18
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 8:49 am

    I find Troy (zan) to be handsome, I bet he is pretty hot without the beard. You’re right about Mike’s beard, that shit starts right below his eyes!

  19. 19
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 9:02 am

    Right, in Spanish year is anyo I think. I have always wondered if Jeff knows this or not because there have been quite a few merge names that were made up and did not mean what the tribe was told it meant. Lol.

  20. 20
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 9:04 am

    BTW: When does THE RUSSELL HANTZ SHOW start? The one centered around Russell Hantz and his BIG, MAN personality.

    Is RUSSELL HANTZ the only SURVIVOR to have a show created for them?

    That Elizabeth went to THE VIEW but it was already on the air? Richard Hatch went to Celebrity Apprentice (where it was fun watching him intimidate that girly David Cassidy) but CA was also already on the air. HMMMM. Is Russell Hantz the ONLY SURVIVOR to have a show created for them?

  21. 21
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

    No. Colby Donaldson has been hosting Top Shot for four seasons…a show I believe was developed with him in mind to host. As always, he is charming and likeable…something that will never be said about Russell.

  22. 22
    carol
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 9:42 am

    I love Top Shot, it’s my flu-tv. That show would not have been on it’s fourth season if Colby was not hosting. His part is small, but he is pretty good.

  23. 23
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Uh, what is TOP SHOT? Is it about basketball? Archery? Liquor? I’ve never heard of it. What channel is it on? It’s not on one of those local UHF channels is it? [I think Coach did a UHF show in his hometown about girl's volleyball or Tai Chi or his Coach philosophy or something like that.]

    More info please.

    I can’t wait for THE RUSSELL HANTZ SHOW to premiere. I guess I’ll have to look up the date.

  24. 24
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Jay’s smurf-on-helium voice is so incongruous with his rather pleasing countenance – it’s a little startling every time he speaks.

  25. 25
    BellicoseBaby
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Now I know who Kat reminds me of – a girl Ralph Wiggum!

    Lisa Simpson: Players play and managers manage.
    Ralph Wiggum: Do alligators alligate?

    See what I mean?

  26. 26
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Top Shot is on the History channel, and is about being excellent marksmen. They use a variety of weapons, and give the history of the weapon before the competition. They’ve done everything from slingshots to cannons and everything in between.

  27. 27
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    I agree. I think Jay should just sit there and look pretty. There is no need for him to say anything. It’s not like he’s Oscar Wilde or Dorothy Parker.

  28. 28
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    TOP SHOT sounds very stirring.

    Back to Russell Hantz.
    His show starts next week on A&E.
    Can you feel the excitement building?!

  29. 29
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Mr. D are you talking about that Duck Dynasty show?

  30. 30
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Awesome!!

  31. 31
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    uH, No. I think the show is called FLIPPING OUT or FLIPPING OFF or something along those lines. I read someplace that it was the greatest show ever conceived with reality TVs greatest star but, you know, I don’t want to repeat hyperbol. That would be so unlike me.

  32. 32
    itchy
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Heh, I must have been drunk when I typed in “year of the anus.”

    Anus man is okay, too, I guess!

    Troysan’s the one who came up with the name, right? Good for him!

  33. 33
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    You ‘re killing me Mr. D!!! Does he really have a show or are you just messing with us??

  34. 34
    itchy
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Speaking of hotness, I spent some time watching a few outtake videos featuring Chelsea on youtube. She hunts! She spearfishes! She poses in a bikini! I do believe Parvati has finally found a worthy challenger for the title of hottest Survivorette.

    Hmm, that would make a good Survivor Season. Clash of the Hot Gals, or something like that.

    Nah…. Probst would never let that happen, would he?

  35. 35
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Yes. He really has a show. I was just bringing it up to twist the knife in the back of everyone who hates him. (I think there are one or two people who dislike him at this site.)

    Really! It starts April 9th on A&E.

  36. 36
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Thanks Mr. D, I am totally going to check it out.

  37. 37
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Yup. TOTES unlike you, Mr. D. LOL.

    So there is really a show about him? Hosted by him? Starring him? Give us more details, man! :-)

  38. 38
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    @cattyfan: I choose to believe this is a positive thing (which is SO unlike me – WTF?). We’re not learning much about the likable people because they will actually be on the show longer, and so the producers are waiting to give us a glimpse into their “inner psyches”.

    As far as the Russell or Johnny thing…hmmmm. It almost – ALMOST – seems as if those two were evil for the sake of being the “evil genius” on a reality show, whereas Colton was just a natural asshat. I dunno. It could go either way, I suppose.

  39. 39
    itchy
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Oh I think that’s great news that he has his own show. It means he won’t be able to ruin Survivor again! Here’s hopin’!

  40. 40
    ChaCha
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    In Espanol, “year” is spelled ano (with a tilde–aka sideways “s”– over the “n”) but pronounced ah-nyo. So you’re kinda sorta right…on the right track anyway.

  41. 41
    ChaCha
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    I thought I was the only person who knew Top Shot even existed. At least that show requires more skill than Survivor does anymore these days.

  42. 42
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    I’ve never missed an episode. Most of the challenges are so creative. Survivor could take a lesson.

  43. 43
    featherhead
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Thanks, I couldn’t remember where the accent went. And I remembered it having a “y ” sound. So I know how to say it but not how to spell it (anymore) . I took Spanish in 10 th grade, but I graduated in 82, so not too bad!!

  44. 44
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    I bring bad news. You will have to wait longer than a week because Russell’s awesome new show does not start until April 28. It’s called Flipped Off.

  45. 45
    Robin Robinez
    Posted April 2, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    Thanks for the recap PottyMouth. You Rock. I am going to go with your gut on Kim. Jonas was my MVP on TVG Fantasy Survivor and I have to pick a new one since he is gone. She is a stealth one, isn’t she? She has managed not to piss off anyone, folks like her and they don’t see her as a threat. All these folks are busy getting rid of strong members of their tribe ( always a bad move ) and trying to keep folks with poopy drawers there to sit beside them at the end, believing they will win with the poopy guy next to them. They all forget that at some point you have to win challenges to get to sit beside the poopy guy and getting rid of your best players only land you in TC. Why do these people always do that?

    I googled Hantz’ show. I only found a couple blurbs. It’s called Jacking..I mean, Flipping Off. It looks like the launch date was postponed. I watch alot of A&E and haven’t seen it advertised. I will definately watch the first episode for as long as I can stand it, like a train wreck..

    Take care, Robin

    http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/ae/2012_Mar_08_hantz-debut-date

  46. 46
    pretty good year
    Posted April 3, 2012 at 6:07 am

    In Portuguese, ano means “year” though, even without the accent. As for Tiki, though, you’re right in saying that in most South Pacific mythologies it’s the name of the first man. However, in the Cook Islands it’s the name of the deity who guards the underworld. Huh. The things you learn by doing casual research about this show.

  47. 47
    pretty good year
    Posted April 3, 2012 at 6:17 am

    I actually hate when they focus on one or two characters for the entire season. In the last two seasons, we knew Boston Rob and Coach were making it to the finale because they were getting so much of the airtime. That’s why I was literally shocked when Colton was removed from the game. He was getting so much airtime that I was just trying to figure out who was going to sit next to him in the final three (and beat him easily, of course.)

    That was one of the problems with last season. They showed so much of Coach and so little of Sophie that her win seemed undeserved and random. When they did show Sophie, she wasn’t exactly likable (though she was likable in comparison to Coach), but she was a level-headed, strong player and it was clear why the Jury respected her.

    If they phase out big characters and then bring forward new ones, it gives the season a story-like flow, which I like. I don’t want the show to focus on the four or five characters who are going to be there at the finale and then go through a weeks-long process of eliminating the invisible folks. I’d rather everyone have their own story, and so far, everyone this season has. I also think Chelsea, Kim, Sabrina and Troyzan could all be potential winners. Kat also has potential as a random Fabio-type winner. She’s a dunce, but she’s cute and likable.

  48. 48
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 3, 2012 at 8:57 am

    Would Russell’s super hotness cause your little head to do the thinking for your big head and sign a contract with him for a house? In spite of his heart-melting physical attributes, I don’t think it would be smart to become one of his buyers.

  49. 49
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted April 3, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    @pretty good year: You really think everyone’s had their story this season? I can’t even tell Chelsea and Kim apart, LOL, that’s how little I know of them. Maybe I’m not paying enough attention…

  50. 50
    itchy itchy
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 5:42 am

    They’re…they’re…FAKE? Sigh. I feel so used….

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