Survivor: Stairway to Heaven

Survivor

By Moorels | Monday, May 9, 2011 | 12:01 am | 47 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Survivor


Previously on Survivor, Ometepe was strong and bland. Time to turn on each other (but not Rob, obvs)!

Ralph shows up at RI and mumbles his way through something I’m sure was intensely charming and folksy. They talk about Steve being weak, and then hilariously Steve shows us. Matt tries desperately to pretend that he fits in with this group that played their hardest and got screwed by numbers.

12.1matt

MATT: “Hahaha, didn’t it suck when we built strong alliances and made smart choices and still lost? Guys?”

They talk about how many Zapatera will be on the jury, and how if one person from RI gets into the Final Three they’ll win for sure, which is true as long as Matt votes with them. This will be fondly referred to by me as the “Brett Corollary.”

Back at camp, everyone celebrates that they managed to stick together. Andrea is all, “for the last five votes we’ve been on cruise control, and now we can get back to the game.” Oh, Andrea. You continue to disappoint me by NOT considering options.

Oh, fuck, and now Natalie is crying. She says in confessional it’s because now they have to knock people out (ie, now they have to start PLAYING THE GAME), but it’s also just fatigue.

12.2natalie

Who edited this episode, Jeff Probst?

Rob says we should remember that she is only 19 and he comforts her. We get it, you’re good at Survivor. Then he gets really intense about how he needs them not to talk to each other so he can win. Basically, this episode will be Survivor’s love letter to Rob Mariano.

The next day, Grant and his gross dreadlocks are out fishing, when what do Andrea and Ashley find? If you answered a strategy, stop being ridiculous. It’s this:

12.3sprint

Which Survivor fans know heralds a truly terrible half hour ahead.

Ashley says Sprint a whole bunch and Phillip does a wacky dance when he sees the cell phone. They get a message about the dual, and then they get short videos from loved ones.

12.4nataliesmom

“I’m Natalie’s mom, and I would rather not be here.”

12.5andreasdad

“Hi Andrea! I hope you haven’t become representational of how women will forever tempt and betray the pious man!”

12.6phillipssister

“I’m Phillip’s sister. Why yes, my great-grandfather was a FULL-BLOODED CHEROKEE.”

12.7robssister

“I’m not Amber.”

12.8grantssistershusband

“Grant, I knocked your sister up, you have no other friends willing to appear on this show, AND I’m wearing a stupid ascot. Worst loved one ever.”

12.9ashleysmom

“Natalie, awm so upset you lawst your whickad back-east accent. Love you sweethawt.”

So everyone cries. Man, I hate the feeling we get like ten minutes into every Survivor episode these days where we realize that no, there will not be strategizing in this episode either. Sigh. Didn’t Jeff say that this was like the third-best season ever or something?

Oh God, and now the losers get their videos too. ON THE SPRINT PHONE.

12.10raplhsbrother

“Ralph, the producers say I have to talk about your chickens.”

12.11mikesmom

“I’m Mike’s mom, and over the next thirty minutes I’ll be YOUR guide to the new line of Whirlpool kitchen appliances.”

12.12stevesbrother

“I’m Steve’s brother, and I, uh, share all of his, uh, verbal mannerisms.”

12.13mattsbrother

“Matt, the whole family is proud that you made it this far. Imagine our embarrassment if you had been the second one voted out! Or by some weird twist voted out twice!”

Do none of these people have significant others? That…actually wouldn’t surprise me.

So the challenge is throwing balls and smashing tiles, and the first one to smash all their tiles wins the loved one and the last one to smash their tiles is jury-bound. So…Ometepe gets no chance to win loved one time? Fair? RI was cool for a season, but for the love of God I hope they lose it next season and bring back reward challenges.

There’s some intense ball throwing (insert your own joke about balls flying, possibly including Jeff Probst, here), and Mike is clearly ahead because he is Mr. America. Mike wins (which earns a disgusted head-shake from Rob, who perhaps has just realized he might be Brett-ed out of his money), and Steve falls out. Sorry Steve! I enjoyed your quips about log-rolling!

Jeff tells Mike he can have time with his mom, or he can trade her and let Matt and Ralph have time with their loved ones, or he can trade THAT and let all the Ometepe’s have time with THEIR loved ones, or he can have what Carol is bringing up the aisle right now. Mike has been spending WAY too much time with Matt and launches into a preachy thing about how the most important commandment is loving the brother as you would love thyself (I thought it was honoring your father and MOTHER, MIKE), so he wants to do the most good for the most people and let Ometepe have their loved ones. Uhhh…what a sucker.

Jeff keeps talking about “love” like it’s a commodity and Mike’s mom says she’s proud of him and he’s a HERO (awesome) and she’ll see him in like two days. I guess he made a good choice? I don’t know, I feel like the loved one visit is always sort of silly, but just because I’m cynical I shouldn’t weigh in on what it might mean to these people. Feel free to leave your own decision in the comments.

Ralph says that Mike should have kept his mom but he made a good strategic decision. Matt says he couldn’t have made that same choice. Please go away soon, Matt, Mike keeps talking about how he didn’t do strategically and it was just the right thing to do, and Matt says something about how that one choice was more then he’s done in his entire time here and I laugh heartily at the accuracy of that statement.

Ashley tries to prove to her mom she isn’t invisible by talking about how she maintains the calender, Andrea’s dad says weird stuff about her hair, and Natalie’s mom ALSO talks about religion. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, just be good Survivor players and you can talk about religion all you want! Phillip gives us another piece of the puzzle by telling his sister that he can go crazy if he needs to because that’s what works for him. And then he tells us he will continue to DOMINATE the game. Rob discusses strategy with his very, very bored sister and gets a shirt with Amber and his kid on it. Ugh, this family stuff gets old fast.

After family leaves Rob tells everyone that Andrea needs to not win and go next. And then he talks some MORE about how much he wants to win Survivor. We know, Rob. We know.

12.14clue

Whose job is it to write these? And after writing like 500 since the show began, do you think they recycle them now? Who’s gonna know this exact wording wasn’t used in Guatemala or something?

The immunity challenge is this giant puzzle staircase that they have to build one rung at a time, so basically it’s running up and down some stairs. YES. No more shuffleboard, more of this pls. After the first section, it’s basically just Rob, Grant, and Andrea neck-in-neck.

Side note, there’s awesome Jeff drama in this challenge: “You gotta PICK IT UP if you wanna WIN!” “Second place buys you NOTHING in this challenge!” “Rob is LITERALLY carrying his family on his back!” Cause of the shirt. Subtle, producers. And just calm down Jeff, Jesus.

So Rob wins, and Jeff makes it sound like he just cured cancer or single-handedly beat the Nazis or something. He’s just tired and running up some steps, let’s get real. Oh, man, and now everyone is panting like crazy, which does indicate this challenge was pretty hardcore. Probst is please.

Hey, and remember Rob’s crybabyitis? Time for a flare-up.

12.15cry

What I wouldn’t give for Jerri to wander over and ask if he’s OK.

Rob rolls around and talks about how his legs are burbing and just generally sounds like Amber is about to be widowed, and Jeff is like “if you die who am I going to root for? Grant? No fucking way” and they bring him water and make him sit. More dramatic music, more dramatic Rob moaning. Jeff and Grant help Rob stand up and then he almost collapses again, which Jeff hilariously takes as an opportunity to grab him again. But then he’s OK and it’s time to give him immunity and send them back to camp. Minor drama, but I’ll take what I can get on Survivor these days.

It’s raining when they get back to camp and they all congratulate Rob some more. Good Lord, isn’t there something crazy Phillip should be doing? Rob rallies the others to confirm that Andrea is going home, and then they all tell Andrea that Phillip is going home.

AAAnd I totally called it, because now Phillip has decided to pull apart their shelter for firewood. There’s also a good scene where he chides Andrea for moving too fast around a bee and then attacks it with a pillow. Then, in his most aware moment yet, Phillip says that he doesn’t have to worry about going home because he already made himself a villain and everyone thinks they can beat him, so this was just him reminding them how annoying he is. Further, he says, he can beat Rob if he gets in front of the jury. Frankly, I hope he at least gets the chance because I want to hear him out. My call on Phillip right now is two parts crazy, one part strategy, but I reserve the right to reevaluate that later. Grant and Rob discuss voting out Phillip instead, but this seems like editor misdirection a little. And now it’s time for our tenth scene tonight where Rob talks about how much he wants to win and how close he is and how he would hate to lose.

Tribal Council time. Jeff is like, “Ok, time to vote an Ometepe out.” He asks Andrea if she’s concerned and she says no because she’s sort of an idiot. Natalie says now it’s not fun anymore because they have to vote people out. Go away Natalie. Jeff says something about Phillip not being competitive and maybe that’s a strength, and Phillip freaks out and says he is a competitor and in the army he did more push-ups than anyone and once he gets the right challenge he’s going to kick their asses. Oh Phillip. Never ever change please.

More stupid talk about if people are genuine or not, and then Phillip says that he is playing honestly and he’s a leader and a great teammate. Jeff says more obvious things about how someone is about to get blindsided and Rob is like, “yeah, shut up and let’s vote, Probst” and then Jeff, to continue baiting Phillip, asks what his great-grandfather (THE FULL-BLOODED CHEROKEE) might say to him. “Hold the faith,” Phillip says. Who has been more helpful in this game, Phillip’s great-grandfather or Matt’s God? Discuss.

So finally we vote. One is for Phillip and then the rest are for Andrea. Bye Andrea! You had like ten chances to save yourself, so I do not feel bad for you at all. Though I do look forward to your passive-aggressive spat with Matt on RI.

In my opinion, there is now no reason for Natalie and Ashley to grab Phillip and vote out Rob and Grant. I’ve heard the argument that Natalie and Ashley are pulling the Natalie White strategy and just letting a dominant player carry them to the end, but the difference was that Russell was a dominant player that people hated. Rob is a dominant player that people love, so any argument that Natalie and Ashley are actually strategic should culminate in them kicking his ass out in the next two votes. Or am I overlooking something?

About

Moorels enjoys hiking, cross-county skiing, and long walks on the beach. Haha, jk, jk, he enjoys watching TV, making fun of people, and eating. He thanks God he found a blogging position that caters to all three. Right now he's living it up Southern-California style, and when he's not mocking accomplished celebrities he likes to drink and attend college. They're not mutually exclusive.

47 Comments

  1. 1
    kdfinjpn
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 12:47 am

    Moorels – I HATE family time! Everybody whines and cries and I swear they just do it for air time. Seriously, have to never gone 20 some days (or 30 some, I don’t know where we are now) without seeing your freaking family members??!! And they don’t even bring spouses/signficant others. If my brother showed up I’d cry because I had to see him!!

    Yep, I’m a cold-hearted b-word!

  2. 2
    kdfinjpn
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 12:49 am

    Oops – have “you” never gone 20 days, etc.

  3. 3
    itchy
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 2:15 am

    I’ve gone years without seeing my family, it’s not all that difficult. ‘Course they weren’t exactly breaking the sound barrier to get to me either… ;-) .

    Season after season I keep hoping someone will successfully play the ‘stealth’ strategy. Like the bonehead surfer guy who won last season — I was hoping and hoping that he’d turn around and say: “Yeah, just finished my second PhD dissertation…”

    Could Phillip be the one? Considering how disappointing the show has become, I doubt it. Although it is perhaps the only way anyone could beat Rob at this point.

    I highly doubt the girls will be able to take Rob out. And even if they do, he’ll dominate Redemption Island and get right back in.

    What surprises me most is that Rob has never thought to ‘explain’ to Matt or Andrea that they’ve been sent to Redemption Island in order to win and keep this an Ometepe thing. That’s all it would take to keep them on side.

    And yeah, here’s hoping Redemption Island is a one-season only thing. Get back to ‘real’ Survivor, where the contestants actually have to spend time Surviving. Even if it means giving up a product placement opportunity. (Blasphemy! Heretic! Burn him at the stake!)

  4. 4
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 2:47 am

    I’m with you, Itchy. I’ve gone 5 years without seeing some of my family and 2 for others. Now that being said, when it comes to my husband, I get weepy after a few days. :D

    I agree that we need to get back to some old school survivor. Maybe they need to get some new sponsors. Stop with Craftsman Tools and go with something like Immodium. Remember back in the day when they were starving so much that when they would get a food reward, everyone got the runs? Immodium! Lexx and Ethan didn’t even get to finish their meal before they had issues. Stop giving them so much food and tools to build their shelter. Give them a water supply that they have to BOIL. And a small bag of rice. Make it where they have to hunt or fish to survive. Make it where they have to find wood and other materials to build a shelter. The outside stresses in the game are what make this game good. This fat bloated spoiled survivor bullshit sucks. Laying on the beach having a spa day plucking armpits?! On old survivor, there is no way those girls would have a) dared to do that and b) if they did, they would have been thrown the fuck out asap!

    Anyways, enough of my rant. Thanks for another great recap, Moorels!

  5. 5
    AntSuck
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 5:51 am

    If Natalie and Ashley want to grab Philip and gang up against BR and Grant, I personally think it’s way too late for that. BR still has his idol, and all it would take to sabotage that plan would be for Grant to win immunity. Also, if they DO manage to vote out either BR or Grant, the remainder of the two would win immunity in the final 4. Let’s also not forget that someone will return from RI, and it will be either Matt or Mike. Assuming that they join the Ashley/Natalie/Philip alliance, that means that N, A, and P would have ONE MORE person to worry about winning immunity in the final 4. There are too many opportunities for Murphy’s law to screw them over. The winner will most likely be Grant.

    And I also hate family time on Survivor.

    Snootchy, I agree they should stop pampering the idols and focus on people surviving and strategizing like the older days, but as long as they insist on having characters like Russell and Philip, whom the editors give full rights to all the airtime, it will never happen.

  6. 6
    itchy
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 6:54 am

    I’m imagining the huge audience that lap up this watered-down version of Survivor (and therefore convince the producers not to bother trying to recapture the show’s past magic). The image I keep getting are couchfuls of drooling pinheads wearing only bathrobes and soiled underwear.

  7. 7
    WillWorkForGossip
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 7:05 am

    Ummmm…. Didn’t Steve play for the NFL?

  8. 8
    Mister Dangerous
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 7:59 am

    I didn’t watch but I did read your recap. (okay, I scanned most of it but that’s because I still miss Schoonie and his take on SURVIVOR.)

    I have finally figured out what the problem is with this show, and it’s been going on for some time, the problem is — there are too many contestants who don’t do anything. They don’t participate. They’re very passive. They’re not very interesting.

    Once again, I’m sure there are posters, here at TVGASM, who will say this passive, non-participation game play is GREAT GAME PLAY! I disagree. I say these types of contestants are ruining SURVIVOR. [Not that it matters anymore. I think SURVIVOR is done.]

  9. 9
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 8:07 am

    Exactly, Mr. D! That’s what I was getting at. Remember when you HAD to keep looking for wood because if you didn’t have fire, you couldn’t boil water and…. you could die? Remember all of those who had to leave because they were so dehydrated? And if you failed to catch fish, you were going to starve or have to eat a rat. Now it is basically a no-frills vacation.

    But I don’t agree that high ratings keep the producers from having to put for the effort of old school survivor. The ratings were much higher in the past than it is now. I guess that just means they are so over the show. If so, they need to clean house and get some new blood in there to revitalize it.

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Mike is a total idiot. Did he actually believe that move would buy him goodwill with BR and his crew? What a freaking doormat. Isn’t this season over yet? Just hand Rob his check and be done with it already. I’m so tired of these idiots. No one has attempted to play the game for most of the season and it’s so boring to watch.

  11. 11
    Aldrick
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 9:06 am

    I agree with virtually everything that has already been said. I agree with Itchy and Snootchy Bootches regarding Survivor’s need to return to… actually surviving. By going this pussy route they’ve pretty much ruined anyone hoping to play the provider strategy.

    I want to return to the days when everyone was so starved that their mouths begin to water when they encountered bugs and rats.

    I also agree with Mister Dangerous. I -HATE- more than anything these passive players. They are ruining the game. It’s almost like they don’t even want to be there, which is one reason they should return to the shows roots. There is no way half of them would stick around if they were actually forced to, you know, survive.

    I also agree with Mere. Mike is a total idiot, and if he thinks that giving anyone family time is going to score him good will? He deserves to just leave right now.

    Let’s just give Rob his check and end this season already. The only one worth watching at this point is Phillip, who ironically, at least seems to have a clue and a strategy – unlike the rest of the remaining players.

    Finally, to answer Moorels’ question: “Who has been more helpful in this game, Phillip’s great-grandfather or Matt’s God?”

    The answer to that is clear: FULL-BLOODED CHEROKEE GREAT-GRANDFATHER > Jesus

    It’s been proven by the fact that a crazy person like Phillip actually has a strategy (which one might assume it given to him by his FULL-BLOODED CHEROKEE GREAT-GRANDFATHER), and the fact that this strategy by Phillip has allowed him to remain in the game despite being the most despised member of his tribe. Phillip also clearly realizes who is in power (Rob), knows he can’t change it, and thus instead makes himself useful (read: annoying and crazy) so that he’ll be taken to the end.

    I’m still holding out some small hope that Phillip is secretly awesome and has been playing everyone from the very beginning. Or at the very least can sway the jury in his favor. After all, he’s at least playing the game to the best of his (possibly mentally impaired) ability.

  12. 12
    Bioscotto
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 9:20 am

    Agree re: going back to Survivor’s roots. Also…it would be great to have a season where I don’t know anyone from the start, again. Just sayin’…

  13. 13
    mere2142
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 9:23 am

    I always think back to Tina in Australia and how she went into a dicey situation to retrieve the rice because it was literally all they had to eat. There were no fights back in those days about who got the ‘crispy rice’ – they were just grateful to have any rice!

  14. 14
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 9:48 am

    I agree, they need to go back to the Survivor roots. The show is now at the point where I would be willing to join the next cast. I can admit I love have the grocery store within walking distance and the thought of killing anything to eat is disgusting to me(hey what can I say….I’m a city chick, food comes in packages minus fur feather etc.). They now get colorful pillows lawn chairs and steak almost every night! I secretly hope that Phillip is a genius who only plays crazy on TV. What an awesome blindside

  15. 15
    ChaCha
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    Whatever happened to “neck AND neck?” What is this new “neck in neck?” Sounds kind of vampire-ish. Now THAT would be a Survivor I’d like to watch!

  16. 16
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    I’ve been saying for years I miss the Survivor where everyone had to actually work…and people got voted out if they didn’t bother contributing. Now everything is provided by the producers, so contestants have time to pretend they’re having a Spa Day.

    As soon as saw the stair challenge, I said it was designed for Rob (analytical) or Grant (in great shape) to win. No surprise they were one and two. It’s a testament to Rob’s charm, though, that he can beat everyone, and they still rush to his aid with water and help to stand.

    I want Mike or Matt to win…just to spit on the Omatempe Six.

  17. 17
    zerocool
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    Never payed attention to Mike until this episode. How did I miss how HOT that guy is?

  18. 18
    Chicken Lips
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    I too hate the family episode. I’ve already told my family – if I ever go on Survivor and I make it that far, you can come but don’t expect tears – I’m busy trying to win a million bucks!

    Hey Jeff! Rob is a married man, but don’t worry – you’ll find your someone special one day, too! You know, if any of the other Survivors caught fire, Jeff wouldn’t go to save them – he would carry Rob away so he wouldn’t get burned, too.

    And I enjoy the discussion in the comments about “old school” Survivor. I didn’t see the first season, but I have watched every season since and I can’t figure out why they constantly feed these people. And why don’t you just have the challenge builders build their shelter for them? This season is so lame I don’t even care who wins – Russell losing that RI challenge really bit them in the hiney. You can tell all those challenges were designed for Rob and Russell. It might have been more interesting if Russell and Rob were both still around.

  19. 19
    ohhhyeah
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    I agree with everyone who wishes the show would go back to its roots, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a moment. Lingering health concerns with past contestants or insurance issues might be influencing how much food the survivors are provided now. They’re still hungry, but not to the point where they could have long-term health issues after the show is over. The producers probably take this into consideration. The survivors are also supplied with an inordinate number of tools and comfort items. I’m going to contribute this to product placement, which is going to become more and more common and necessary for shows to remain lucrative. They could be more creative though with giving out fewer items while still showing the products because yeah, contemporary Survivor looks more like a camping trip than a show about surviving.

    If anything, the show’s real downfall has been its lack of creativity. Contestants come into the show knowing what to expect, and likewise the audience is treated to no new surprises. The producers could easily shake things up without fundamentally changing what viewers expect from the show. As an example, why not reorganize the tribes after only a few days? Nobody would see it coming and it would potentially give people who were at an early disadvantage a chance to get back in the game. Just throw surprises at the survivors to keep them on their toes and not get comfortable with the survivor timetable (which everybody is now familiar with) and their own alliances. There is much the producers could do with a little creativity, but they just keep reworking the same tired formula with only a few tweaks to keep things “fresh.”

    I think Matt has a good chance to win, because he’ll be relatively safe on Redemption Island until the end when he’s reintroduced to the game. Then all he needs is to win an immunity challenge, and if he makes it to the end he’s almost guaranteed to get votes because he’s a nice person who hasn’t pissed anybody off. Given the alternatives, who wouldn’t vote for him? And if he does win it will be because God has rewarded him for remaining strong in his faith. (haha, now I’m just riling people up)

  20. 20
    tv-addict
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    does anyone actually likes Rob?
    he’s strategic, he has experience blah blah blah… but does he even have a real job, the one where he has to really work without cameras in his face. or his family jsut earn living by appearing on reality shows?
    i miss good old survivor. i hope next season will be a real survivor again.

  21. 21
    carol
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    I wish Jeff had given Mike a fourth option – no one gets to see their loved ones and Mike goes back in the game. That would have added some drama.

    I don’t know why, but at the end of the challenge, it was finally clear how much weight Rob has lost. I never really noticed it until he was sitting on the stairs at the end. That is one of my favorite parts of the reunion right after the final tribal, the transformations.

  22. 22
    MtnMama
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    I liked how Rob mentioned recently that he has a family to support. My immediate reaction was, “What the hell happened to Amber’s million bucks?!” Even if Rob only makes it to second place again, that’s still $100k for 6 weeks of ‘work.’ Not bad money if you can get it … but I think Rob’s going to be blindsided by Grant soon. Just a hunch.

  23. 23
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    @Carol, I kinda like your 4th option…

    Thanks for a truly cool recap Moorels..As it stands now, I don’t think any of them deserve to be in the same catagory as Tina, Ethan, Sandra, Earl ( who btw, won with a unanimous vote). Those people actually played the game. I don’t remember any one of them plucking hair off of each other and cooking rice to the exact standards of another player. Hell, back in the day, if you didn’t do something to help facilitate the rice cooking, then “no rice for you” and an easy boot.

    A cast net would have been a prized possesion long ago, did you see how they just tossed it aside and mangled it? That right there would have been a reason for leaving the island when they actually played the game. But, heh..they don’t care. They are getting fed and watered and clothed and pillowed and blanketed.

    I am sure we aren’t the only one’s who feel this way and hopefully they will “get it” and go back to the original concept.

    Robin

  24. 24
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 9, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    PS, Although now that I think about it, If Mike did come back he would have had to win the immunity. That said, I think that Rob would have had a big challenge overtaking him…Oh well, if wishes were horses.. :-)

  25. 25
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 2:39 am

    I agree that the product placement is getting out of hand. What I don’t understand is why they don’t use that income to construct new challenges instead of recycling the old ones. What the heck, throw caution to the wind and rip everything apart and build new stuff for new challenges with the same lumber and be eco friendly!

    Snootchy, you have tree mail…

    Robin

  26. 26
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 3:01 am

    A couple of comments to people above. I’m having my morning coffee and can’t be arsed to go see who said what. :D

    I don’t like Rob. I’ve never liked Rob. I doubt I ever will like Rob. Remember his first season? He was the camp douchebag. Ditto for his Amber season. He didn’t really have much time to show us how douchey he was on the season previous to this because he wasn’t around long enough. But this season we have had time to soak in the douche and enjoy its lovely fragrance. He ruined this season. I don’t want him to win, but maybe if he does we won’t have to see him ever again.

    I think Mike is pretty awesome. He just had the bad luck of being on the wrong side of the numbers. I know it probably isn’t the classiest thing to do and he seems to be a pretty humble guy, but I wish he would have played up his war hero status. Even when Philip was running his mouth about having all of these medals (which was an obvious lie if you know anything about the Army and their medals), he didn’t say a word. Had he played that up a little, he might have won some support among some of the other contestants. Sometimes all you need is a little wiggle room to open up some opportunities. He would definitely be the best case scenario winner for me.

    However, Ralph in the finals would be great tv because who the hell knows what that guy is saying? LOL

  27. 27
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 3:25 am

    No, really, you have tree mail :-)

    Robin

  28. 28
    kdfinjpn
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 3:28 am

    Robin – she hasn’t had enough coffee yet!

  29. 29
    Robin Robinez
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 3:42 am

    LOL KD, Maybe I have had too much coffie!. I contracted to paint the Ag center and have been sitting around waiting for them to move their stuff per contract. They are as fast as Ralph in a spelling bee.

    Take care, Robin

  30. 30
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 5:25 am

    Are you trying to say that he is taking his time when he is spelling Ressel and Phileepe and Robb? LOL

    Gotcha tree mail. Just haven’t had a chance to reply. Still drinking that first cup of coffee. Ok, not exactly drinking as it is stone cold, but it is nearby.

  31. 31
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 6:31 am

    I think I may be the only person in the world that wants to see Rob win. He’s a total d-bag, but he’s had his “team” wrapped around his finger from the start – not easy considering the target on his back that he came in with.

    Ralph in the final would be great…if they displayed subtitles for his comments. I can’t make a word out that he says!

  32. 32
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 6:41 am

    I would totally give Rob props if I felt that his skills were responsible for that situation. But I think he just had the dumb luck to be with a bunch of moronic sheep. Do you think that it would have gone the same if there was an Ozzy or a Brenda or… hell even a James or a Sugar? He was lucky enough to be with a bunch of people who couldn’t strategize themselves out of a paper bag. They were star struck by him. But what is funny about that is that if any of them had actually watched his previous game play, he is the last person they would have trusted! Instead, they just recognized the name “Boston Rob” and started to worship. They remembered his name but not his douchebaggery. Actually, because he is basically screwing everyone over (including the viewers) it should be called douchebuggery. :D

  33. 33
    Mimo
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 7:12 am

    @Snootchy Boothches – agree with above comment totally. I don’t think most of these contestants have ever even watched Survivor. I’m still holding out hope for Phillip. He’s made the comment a couple of times that if crazy will get him to the end, then crazy it will be. He lost me for a few seconds during his racial tirade, but I forgave him, understanding that he’s just playing crazy. And – if it turns out that he really is crazy – he’s got my vote anyway. ‘Cause crazy never made it as far as he did, especially being disliked as much as he is disliked.

  34. 34
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 7:14 am

    Rob is surrounded by people who are content to let someone else do all the work…whether it’s work around camp or the dirty work of strategizing. They are lazy, and annoying..and if they are all that’s left, then I hope Rob wins.

    However, still on RI, we have Mike, Ralph, and Matt…and I would love for any of them to unseat the players left in the regular part of the game.

    If the prodducers insist the show can only survive through product placement, then use the products during the challenges. Don’t give the contestants a fully loaded tool box from the outset for making the shelter. It used to be food rewards would incorporate product placement…Pringles…Fritos…Coke…Budweiser. It would be easy to continue that, while still going back to the roots of the game (when things were far more interesting.)

    The other problem, of course, is the continuing habit of the producers of casting recruits instead of people who really know the game and want to play. Up until last week there were three girls whose names I never learned. They are interchangeable…scrawny twenty-something wannabe models/actresses who were more interested in hair removal than providing food or firewood. The stunt casting and repeat appearances are just as damaging. Three of the four last seasons made us suffer through Russell. Rob is back for the fourth time. How many times will Coach and James be back before they give it up? Come. On. Enough already.

    Incidentally, the fact that it’s mostly males who appear three and four times tells you the producers don’t put as much effort into finding interesting women. There are far fewer women who have been on more than once, and I think only Stephanie and Parvarti have been on three times.

  35. 35
    itchy
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 7:15 am

    I dunno. I think they all knew who Boston Rob was. And part of what makes him such a good player is that they all fell for his schtick (or seem to have), despite knowing that they shouldn’t.

    But okay, it’s been an easy season for him so far. I’d still like to see him win though. Maybe he’ll stop coming on the show if he finally wins.

  36. 36
    kdfinjpn
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 7:20 am

    Agreed, Catty. I think Amanda was on three times as well, wasn’t she? Anyway, Yul was one of my favorites – back when you really did have to strategize and try to be likable enough to get votes in the end. I also like the old seasons where people were skin and bones and the workers were kept around for their fishing skills. Remember when the castaways were happy to get a bag of rice for reward? Times have certainly changed!

  37. 37
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Someone mentioned earlier about the health risks to some of the players and I can understand wanting to not put anyone in jeopardy. Remember Heidi? She was the one that got naked with Jenna for peanutbutter and chocolate. She was in the hospital with liver issues after the show. But if they didn’t accept people who were nothing but skin and bones to start with, that wouldn’t be as much of a problem. The producers care more about eye candy, I guess. Hey… on that note, what if they combined Survivor and Biggest Loser? They could call it Biggest Survivor. I’d watch!

    And I totally agree about them recruiting actresses and models instead of folks who want to compete. One of my husband’s friends has been trying to get on for something like 8 years with no luck. He’d be awesome too. He is an expert poker player, ex-military, youngish with a wicked smart mouth/sarcastic humor. I’d love to watch him!

    And I hate that they keep bringing back the same people over and over. If they have to bring back past players, there are some I’d really like to see. Like Yul or that Chinese girl from the China season (can’t remember her name but it started with an S). But not Lisi. Because she fell.

  38. 38
    zerocool
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

    I’m on team Rob, and have been for a few seasons now. He makes it look easy, that’s why he’s underappreciated by viewers. His people skills (manipulation & ability to read them a mile away) is truly impressive. Having said that I would be happy with Rob, Matt or Mike winning. Maybe Grant for his physical strength. And maybe Phillip for his acting. Okay, so as long as none of the (boring!) girls win and Ralph.

  39. 39
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted May 10, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    I agree that Rob is a total douchebag. That pencil-thin mustache makes him look like a sleazy used car salesman or maybe a little like John Waters.

    The thing I remember from his first season was how jealous of, and intimidated by, Hunter he was. At the time, I was yelling at Rob through the TV that the reason he hated Hunter was because Hunter outclassed him on every conceivable level.

  40. 40
    Rick1964
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 8:34 am

    I too miss the old Survivor–I want to go back and watch the first few seasons to see how rough it was. Remember Colleeen and her legs decimated by bug bites? Or the rat eating? Or Sean FINALLY going poo after 23 days? These people had to “SURVIVE”.

    I think that the final RI twist will be that whomever wins will be sent to the final challenge to compete to be in the top 3…let’s hope Mike makes it that far!

  41. 41
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 9:30 am

    I’m so pissed I missed the rat eating, I didn’t start watching until the Ozzy(my hero THAT season)season. It was all over the news and internet. Wasn’t there a season where some woman was left completely alone on the island(sounds so much scarier than eating a rat). Question, when did Survivor change from Sole Survivor to final 3?

  42. 42
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Yeah that was the first season where they had… what the hell was it called? Exemption island? No… EXILE Island! It was supposed to be a big deal to be there all buy yourself. But Sugar went there so many times it was like a resort. You could choose to take a clue or have cushy comfort. She chose the comfort each time. She had a little hut with a hammock and fruit etc.

    I think the worst gimmick “bad” place was the one where it was in the middle of the desert. That was on the season with JT, the guy who did all of the thinking for JT, and the lady from the girl band that is married to Eddie George. Taj? Was that her name? That was also the place where coach did his fasting etc.

    And Colleen’s legs were BAD. I remember seeing a picture of her a couple of years later and they are all scarred.

  43. 43
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Please ignore the typos. Where the heck is that edit button!

  44. 44
    TiredMom
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Count me in as a member of Team Rob….I am mesmerized by that guy. I truly think he is highly intelligent (I know – bring on the contrary comments!) and I love watching his smarmy confessionals. I think he has a love/hate following. I for one can’t get enough of him and will be severely bummed if one of those girls wakes up and votes him out!

  45. 45
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 10:50 am

    @Snootchty(for some reason I read it a snooty) have you read my posts????? I don’t think there is one to date without at least one typo:). @Tired,I don’t want Rob to win BUT I do want to see him get to the final……he is the only guarantee Phil will make it. I so want him(Phil) to whip out his multiple degrees from Ivy League colleges along with his dissertation on how to fool Survivor players.

  46. 46
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted May 12, 2011 at 8:50 am

    tvaddict – I like Rob and think he should win. Not a popular opinion, but eff it. I’m living on the edge.

  47. 47
    Mary Pearson
    Posted May 13, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    @Moli … Stephanie was the last member of her tribe during her (first appearance) season. The merge was later that season and she spent a few days alone before joining the other tribe.

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