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Saturday, April 17, 2010
7:04 pm
45 Comments
“….today I met a really cute boy. He’s totally short and dreamy, and he smells kind of funny, but I want to ask him to Homecoming and then give him my letter jacket. He makes me sweaty when I see him and I don’t know what to say. I’m nervous to ask him out. Do you think he’ll go out with me?”It’s Night 21, and Jerri is completely freaking out now that Coach is gone. I, for one, find it highly satisfying that her ouster of Rob has led directly to this. “Am I next?” Jerri asks Danielle, clearly losing her shit. “NO WAY,” Danielle says. “It was last minute, and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to freak you out.” Don’t worry, Danielle, your boobs do that job anyway.
The next day the Villains receive the Reward Challenge clue, which is super long and tells them that they’ll be competing in the endurance challenge from Tocantins, in which there are smaller and smaller perches for the feet. Courtney correctly points out that this is the challenge that Coach very dramatically lost, screaming and crying on the ground after falling.
The twist is that each person will be facing off against someone else from the other tribe; each tribe will have to rank their members in order from best to worst, and those ranked the same will face off against each other. The Villains quickly recognize that their abundance of women will be an advantage in this challenge. “With the egos on the other tribe, they won’t think of this,” Courtney says, right as we get a jump cut to Rupert talking about how awesome he’s going to be at this challenge. “I think I’m the strongest of all 11 of us still out here!” Rupert says. I’m so glad this show has decided to hate Rupert.
Challenge time. The Heroes see that Coach is gone, and Probst fans the flames by letting them voice their assumptions even further. “The women’s alliance looks verrrry strong,” Rupert says like a stupid asshole. The Villains can barely keep a straight face.
The first team to win three points in the direct faceoff will win a feast from Outback steakhouse. The matchups are as follows: Danielle will be facing off against Candace in the number one spot, followed by Courtney vs. Amanda, Parvati vs. JT, Jerri vs. Colby and then Rupert against Sandra. “I love you,” Rupert says to her all disingenuously when this is announced, earning a monumental eye roll from Sandra.
Once the challenge begins, Probst has a special announcement: as of today, Amanda is the first person to play the game for 100 days. I gotta say, I’m kind of loving all the dorky trivia they’re doing this season, with the challenge throwbacks and nerdy landmarks like this one. The exception, of course, being when the challenges are throwbacks from six months ago.
“I love Outback,” Sandra says emphatically. “My husband and I went twice in one week before he went to Afghanistan.” I can’t decide whether that’s awesome, because: Bloomin’ Onions, or sad because: Bloomin’ Onions. Russell sits out the challenge, but the editors can’t resist hearing from him anyway. “I’ve planted that Russell seed and let them think the women are after me,” he yaps, when in fact he’s done nothing but let them continue making assumptions. There’s no “planting” involved; they’re pretty much doing the planting themselves.
The cameramen keep showing close ups of people’s nasty feet, which I am not down for, not at all. Finally, Colby is the first one out, meaning that Jerri has scored a point for the Villains and can also step down. As Jerri encourages her, Sandra provokes Rupert, all “I’ve had kids, this isn’t even difficult. I had two of ‘em and I didn’t even get an Aspirin. Two natural births.” Now I’m usually the first person to hate someone for saying stupid shit about how tough and special they are because they’re a parent (because you know who else is a parent? Just about everyone.), but: damn. No epidural? That is hardcore.
Rupert falls shortly after Colby, meaning that Sandra can get down, but she wants to show off: “One more minute,” she says with an evil smirk before dismounting from the platform.
A couple of slots to the left, Amanda is clearly in pain and falls quickly after, giving the Villains the victory. Jerri starts to cry. Over Outback. I don’t even need to comment on that, right?
Before the tribes leave, JT tells Russell to “hang in there” one more time, because Russell is the adorable kitty hanging from a branch of this show.
After the break, we’re at the reward. The Villains all have daiquiris, and Sandra downs hers in about five seconds, because she is a champion. She demands another one, already drunk, shouting “Gimme that, homey!” at the bartender and everyone else in the area. I can’t even describe how badly I want to be best friends with her.
When the meal starts, Parvati unrolls her napkin to ominous noises. At first I’m concerned that the editors think hygiene is terrifying, but it turns out that Parvati’s napkin actually has a clue for the idol hidden inside it. She manages to stash it in her bathing suit without anyone seeing it, and later pretends to have to go to the bathroom. Danielle takes off with her, and when they get a moment alone, Parvati shows Danielle the clue. “I want Danielle to trust me more than Russell,” Parvati says, “So that way if she has to choose, she’ll take me instead of him.” Hate on her if you want, but she’s really, really good at this whole thing. Better than just about anyone, frankly.
“Russell doesn’t need to know, I’ll fill him in on a need to know basis,” Parvati continues, “And right now, he doesn’t need to know.” I’m still holding out hope for the moment when she cuts his ass loose. Parvati tells Danielle she doesn’t have anywhere to hid it, and Danielle offers to hide the clue in her giant, scary boobs. I’m imagining that she’s got a whole mess of stuff stashed in there, like maybe a toothbrush, a litter of puppies, and a dining room set.
Back at the Heroes tribe, JT wants to talk about what the team’s going to do at the merge. “I’ll bet my life in this game on it, that we’re going to merge,” JT says. Yes, JT is willing to bet his life that something that happens every season is going to happen again this season. He is a maverick, you guys.
But JT is not out of bright ideas. He’s so convinced that the women on the Villains team have an alliance that he wants to slip Russell the immunity idol. The idea, in theory, is that Russell will play the immunity idol and his one vote will allow him to get rid of Parvati, and then they can pick the girls off one by one. Yes, it is the dumbest thing ever, and it assumes that about nine different things are happening, just because men happen to be getting voted off of the Villains tribe. Sexism FTW!
Back at the Villains camp, Russell sits on a stump and stares out at the water like a trollish Forrest Gump while Parvati and Danielle sneak off to find the immunity idol. Parvati and Danielle find it almost instantly. They do not hide it in Danielle’s boobs. Maybe there’s no more room? Don’t laugh, they save Danielle like two hundred bucks a month because she doesn’t have to rent a storage unit.
Back at the Heroes camp, JT and the Heroes decide to put their plan into action. JT begins to write a note to Russell. He reads it aloud to the group when he finishes, and I am tempted to write it all down for you, but that’ll ruin how amazing Parvati will be later, so we’re just going to focus on my very favorite part now: “Russell, just based on the few handshakes we’ve had, I feel like I can trust you.” Oh, JT: your people reading skills, they might be a little off.
When he finishes reading it, Rupert hilariously wants him to add the following sentence: “This is your chance to feel like you’re not a villain.” I love how this one, single sentence pretty much gives you Rupert’s entire worldview.
Immunity Challenge. Oh, Lord. This is going to happen, isn’t it?
Both tribes will start at a platform out in the water; each tribe member will guide a bag of puzzle pieces along a rope back to the beach. Once all the bags have been brought to the beach, the first team to solve their puzzle will win immunity. When the challenge begins, the Heroes get out to an immediate lead, and each consecutive player only widens it.
Russell and Colby are the last to go for their respective teams and end up as the last ones at the starting line together. Colby takes this opportunity to talk to Russell. “After the challenge, JT is going to give you something. Use it, and join up with us at the merge,” he says. Russell can barely contain his glee. “Who should I get rid of?” he asks. Colby tells him Parvati, and Russell fans the flames beautifully: “Good, she’s running the show,” he says. Colby takes off, leaving Russell smirking on the platform. He clearly can’t believe his luck; even though this whole scenario has nothing to do with any Russell himself did, he plays the whole thing very well. Also, props to the editors for some amazing work during this sequence.
Of course, Russell isn’t about to let his team win now that he can get himself a free idol and get rid of Sandra or Courtney, so he lollygags and gives the Heroes the win. JT slips Russell the idol during the hugging after the challenge. I am floored at how completely idiotic this is, to make a move based on about nineteen different assumptions, not to mention that the Heroes will have pulled even with the Villains after this challenge at five members each, meaning that this whole affair isn’t even really necessary.
Back at camp, Russell can’t believe his luck, again, some more. “You don’t hand the enemy the idol,” Russell says, correct for what I think might be the first time ever. Over at the Heroes camp, JT and the gang feel pretty good about themselves. “Everyone ready to make Survivor history today?” JT says. They seriously, actually think that this whole thing was wise. It’s amazing to behold.
Meanwhile, Russell shows Parvati the idol and the letter. Parvati reads it out loud to the camera like the Mean Girl that she is, adding things like “XOXO” and “LOL” to it to make it sound even more juvenile than it already is. It is beyond hilarious.
JT’s letter is so, so long, you guys, and it’s super complimentary to Russell and creepy, talking about how they can trust each other and how after the merge they’ll work together to go to the Final Three, and how their love will conquer all and how they’ll have tiny redneck dwarf babies together. Oh, and there’s another best part! It says “DESTROY THIS RIGHT WHEN YOU FINISH READING!” in big letters at the bottom, because JT and Russell are super secret spy friends with decoder rings.
“JT gave Russell his heart, today,” Parvati says, and for a minute I think she might quote Say Anything, but then I remember how Parvati’s not actually cool or interesting outside the scope of this show.
“What is wrong with him, like, I cannot believe this kid won,” Parvati says. Man, you know things are bad when Parvati is functioning as the Greek Chorus of this show.
With all this excitement and idols and MASH notes, it’s easy to forget that someone still has to be voted out. Courtney and Sandra know that one of them is probably done for. “This is what we get for being bitches,” Sandra says, laughing.
Parvati and Danielle agree that Courtney needs to go, but Courtney goes to Parvati, arguing that Amanda is more likely to go with them if they keep her around. Parvati chews on that and decides that Courtney might be better to keep around in the long run, thinking that Courtney is more likely to be loyal to her than Russell is, which is interesting. Parvati takes this to her allies, but they seem noncommittal; Russell incorrectly thinks that Courtney is more dangerous than Sandra. Clearly he didn’t see Sandra’s season, in which she flipped sides about a million times. She is for sale, and also she’s a lot better strategically than Courtney. But whatever, if you want to keep my favorite player around, I’m not going to argue.
Tribal Council. Coach the first member of the jury, enters wearing samurai robes. Always a drama queen, that guy.
When Probst asks Sandra about trust, Sandra tells Probst that’s a bad question and that she knows she’s in trouble because all her allies are gone. “Danielle, is there any correlation between Sandra being in trouble and Sandra sitting out all those challenges?” Probst and his one track mind ask. Quit being a dick, it’s not always about challenges, douche.
Danielle is like “Um, no, Sandra’s just not in our alliance,” because she knows Probst is completely off the mark too. When Probst asks if Sandra’s trustworthy, Danielle says that she’s good at manipulating people. When Sandra asks for an example, Danielle’s like, “There are certain instances and certain things you’ve said when certain stuff’s happened,” because Danielle can’t think of any, mostly because she is Danielle, but also because Sandra’s play last week to get Coach out went unnoticed.
Danielle then criticizes Sandra for being distant when the game started, and they get into an argument about being sidekicks and trusting your allies that doesn’t make much sense. Sandra even refers to herself in the third person at one point; this would normally make her Dead To Me, but she gets a pass for being Sandra. Amidst the fighting, Russell volunteers that there are only three people in the game that really trust each other: himself, Parvati and Danielle and they’re all still in the game. Russell sees this as a deep statement, but it’s particularly humorous in light of the idol Parvati and Danielle are currently hiding from him.
Courtney correctly points out that being loyal has nothing to do with anything, because she and Sandra trusted Rob and he’s gone. When Probst asks Jerri about loyalty, she says that she was never a part of Rob’s group, and this is when Courtney gets amazing. “So, you didn’t vote for Parvati, who’s in your current alliance?” she says. Jerri starts to stammer, and Courtney dismantles her further. “You voted against the alliance you’re a part of now, and you flipped just in time to save your butt, so awesome for you,” Courtney says. Jerri, having been thoroughly owned, just sits there, speechless.
Time to vote. We don’t see any of the votes, and we know why when they’re read and it’s unanimous (even Sandra!) for Courtney, whose vote is for Jerri. Courtney’s very gracious as her torch is snuffed, waving goodbye to everyone and calling them bitches jokingly. Probst congratulates Parvati, who will make it to 100 days tomorrow, before sending everyone back to camp.
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45 Comments
I loved how Parvati is totally not telling Russell about her idol, but he could not WAIT to let her in on his idol. She is playing him and it’s hilarious.
JT looks about 12 in that pic. you know I was a fan of JT’s until this season. I’ve realized now that Stephen did all the brainwork in that duo.
I said this in the forums, but I’ll say it again here:
The Heroes made stupid assumptions, then idiotically revealed their hypothesis in front of the other team. Now, even if they split their vote 3/3. Russell has an idol, and so does Parvarti. If they both play ‘em, a Hero still goes home.
The Heroes screwed themselves.
I can’t watch the show anymore, though. There’s just too much Russell. How many of his self-congratulatory confessionals were we shown last night? While other players are never shown at all. Who knows if those other players are even remotely interesting? We sure don’t, ’cause all we ever get is the smarmy little troll. And I just can’t inflict that on myself anymore.
Schoonie…I am depending on you. I’ll come here to get the results…but I won’t be tuning in to actually watch for the first time since the first episode.
Also…wasn’t it nice that there was suddenly a pad and pen available? What’s next…Cabela’s fishing poles and a Weber grill?
“I’m imagining that she’s got a whole mess of stuff stashed in there, like maybe a toothbrush, a litter of puppies, and a dining room set.”
Danielle’s boobs are like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag. Wait ’til she pulls out a reading lamp…
@cattyfan – Nooo! Lets all just believe hard enough that Parvati is gonna fulfill our fantasies on this one…the girl’s a giver.
…and, I think it was on probst’s blog where they said the paper and pen were amanda’s luxury item won earlier in the season…which I kinda don’t remember, whatever.
Schoonie: Thank you, thank you, thank you for commenting on Danielle’s terrible boob job. Those puppies have been scaring me since day one. Also, I despise Russell, and am not a huge fan of Parvati, but since the Heroes set themselves up so spectacularly to be completely owned, I’m kind of routing for it to happen. Sandra FTW!
I can only imagine Russell’s reaction if/when Parvati blindsides him. Seriously, he cried like a baby when Natalie won ‘his’ million, how is he going to react to being beaten at his own game by a girl? I also loved JT until this season, now i realize just how much Stephen deserved that million. Same with Rupert. And even Colby, he fell so hard for this women’s alliance idea, only Amanda even questioned it. Just when you think the heroes are back, they do something idiotic. Man, why isn’t Rob still in this?
Let me ask all of you Survivior fanatics this…
Do you ever recall tribes coming together after ANY challenge (reward OR immunity)to hug, kiss, shake hands, or dry hump each other?? I really don’t but it was cool that the producers have them do it the one time an idol needed passed.
Loved Jerri’s face at TC when Russell announced the the only people he is aligned with are Danielle and Parv. Welcome to 4th place at best Jerri.
First Tyson votes himself off and now this. These are the MVP’s of Survivor??Truly hope JT gets voted off next week.
I think I’m in the minority, because I am really enjoying this season. I don’t really like the people left (except of course Sandra, because she is The Awesome), but because it’s turning out to be so damn unpredictable. I love it when that happens.
JT is obviously stupid, but I think Rupert deserves all the credit for the horrible turn of events that led to Russell getting the idol. He should shut his big hairy face in front of the other team.
Thanks as always for the great recap, schoonie! I can’t wait to see the scramble next week
considerthis: This was going to be my comment too! As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember Probst yelling at Boston Rob to get away from the other tribe in the first All-Stars when Rob tried to get a message to Lex about saving Amber…am I wrong about this, people?
Why the hell does everyone have a hard-on for Russell? Since he’s an unknown quantity to the rest of the “All-Stars,” why on earth is everybody so willing to keep him around. And why on earth would one team give the idol to an enemy team? After JT read his love letter in front of his team about taking Russell to the Final Three, I wonder if anyone questioned who that third member was (JT, Troll, ?) Has everyone lost all common sense on that team?
I totally agree with Theo’s comment that it’s obvious Stephen was the brains (since JT obviously does not have ANY) and deserved to win the million during their season. JT = Douche.
As far as the villains go, wouldn’t it have been the perfect time to blindside Russell? He was so pumped up with his greatness, he never would have seen it coming. Then there WOULD be an all-girl alliance and they would be awesome. Of course, Parvati probably IS running an all-girl alliance and letting the troll just THINK he’s the puppet master.
At any rate, I am SO ready for that bandy-legged troll to leave. I call shenanigans, too, on the producers.
Thanks, Schoonie, for your usual brilliant insights and observations. I’m just about ready, though, as cattyfan mentions, to give up watching the Russell Show and just rely on your recaps. Bring back the Survivor we know and love!
lol bout Danielle’s boobs. hilarious.
am I really the only one here who loves Parvati? She acts like a total bimbo but she’s doing everything right right now. In fact, come to think of it, without Yul before, she’d probably had a very good chance to win on Cook Islands. Parv FTW.
Can you imagine what Stephen is thinking right now? Losing to J.T. Those jury members must be regretting their decisions now.
You know, as much as I like conspiracy theories, this one doesn’t really seem like one.
The heroes ARE stupid, but do you really think that they would give away the immunity idol (and possibly their chance at the money) because the producers told them to? And if they did — trust me, we’ll be seeing the tell-all soon enough.
As for the hugging/handshaking… why would they show it normally? If nothing is going on, do you NEED to see them doing it? They don’t show them sleeping every night either unless something happens. Maybe they should, just so people don’t think there’s some conspiracy going on.
I don’t get the villain women, if they thought about it, when they merge, the heros have already said they are going to save russel and vote off the women. Why not trump them and just actually have a womens alliance and vote of russel.
Side note – maybe it is just this season and all the skinny girls, but they are looking rough, like you can start to see their teeth through their cheeks.
THIS IS THE BEST SEASON EVER! The only comparable season was last season. I hope they can figure out a way to work RUSSELL into SURVIVOR 21.
Maybe, he could do “on the field” commentary and interviews? He could interview Jerri after she’s been pushed into a post by Rupert and ask, “Is he the dick we all think he is?”
OR
He could go to JT and say, “Do you think I’m sexy?”
SO many of you peeps claimed that when Russell played with the ALL-STAR he was going to get his “fine looking” ass kicked. Uh, that’s not happening peeps. SEXYBACK RUSSELL is the one kicking ass and he’s taking no prisoners. {Though I would personally volunteer to be his prisoner or his LUV SLAVE.}
Now, I want to see him use his BIG MAN FOOT to crush the Cockroach!
As a reminder: the only reason that troll made it to the final two last season was because EVERYONE hated him, NO ONE would vote for him, so ANYONE would have won against him.
And for the same reason, he might just make it to the end of this season as well.
This has nothing to do with playing the game well. Only with playing the game so poorly that he can never become a serious threat.
Ugh. This season sucks. Survivor sucks. I’ve said it before: the show’s never going to be the same after this, because we’re going to be forcefed a new evil dwarf character every season from now on.
What itchy said.
I have new-found respect for Parvati. In Micronesia, I didn’t get why she won over Amanda (who I preferred at the time), but I see now. She is the mistress of manipulation and her comment about JT: “I can’t believe this kid won” was exactly spot-on. The problem with those playing a cerebral game winning against a physical competitor is that the physical competitor has evidence to draw on as to why he should win. Also, that season, JT never was voted for, although he was in the minority with Taj and Stephen. JT trying to play a cerebral game now shows exactly why he needs someone like Stephen to control his thinking for him.
As far as Russell goes, he is a good character, but not a good player because he does not take into any consideration the mental game. I was never a fan of Danielle and enjoyed her getting abused by the jury when she lost to Aras. She is the ultimate coattail rider, other than the woman who lost to Tom Westman in his season.
JT’s move is spectacularly stupid. Luckily, Rupert is friendly with the most stealth player left in the game (Sandra) and will be carried as far as she can take him.
I don’t think Russell is kicking ass this season, while he did make a few good moves, persuading Jerri to flip and vote off Rob being the best, he’s just lucked out like last time. If it wasn’t for Tyson’s unbelievable stupidity, he would be gone. Huge stroke of luck. His being handed an idol by the other team was pure luck. He did nothing to plant the seed of this woman’s alliance, it all came from Rupert. The fact that he thinks he’s totaly in charge of parvati and Danielle shows how poor a player he is. Being manipulated by Sandra, clearly his enemy, into going after Coach instead of Courtney reinforces it. I’m wondering how he’s going to explain to the Heroes next week why he used his idol to vote off Courtney instead of Parvati. And all Sandra has to do is convince someone to go through Russell’s things to see that he still has the idol to prove that he’s a liar. Can’t wait for next week!
Oh, Itchy and Cattyfan — it’s only a TV SHOW.
I can’t believe anybody, but me, will remember RUSSELL 20 years from now.
[Of course, I'll have him chained up in my bedroom -- since I'm his number one fan -- That's why I'll remember him!]
BTW: Schoonie, that first paragraph was GOLD. THAT WAS FUNNY STUFF, Mister.
here4beer: You’re not alone. I’m enjoying this season also. It’s interesting how my opinions about people have changed though.
chibby: I couldn’t stand Parvati the first time she played. This time she isn’t bothering me at all. Same w/Boston Rob – hated the guy, but this time I like him.
“He could go to JT and say, “Do you think I’m sexy?”"
^^ hahaha Mr Dangerous! Love it!
Russell’s boasting gets on my nerves, BUT it is still funny to watch. He is definitely a character.
Mr. D – if you’re not already, go “friend” Russell Hantz on facebook. He has pictures posted that you will love.
I just wrote to Stephen on facebook (search: Stephen Fishback) and told him that he deserved the million. JT is floundering w/o him.
shit. “Fishbach” …sorry
I’m beginning to think both tribes are actually holed up in luxury hotels with maid service. We never see them boil water, or even looking for food that often. They probably lounge and swim all day then the producers yell action and they get into their pre-dirtied rags, roll in dort and read their cue cards. I’m telling you it’s like this season was “The Russell Show, Part Deux” UGH. But your recaps make me laugh SChoonie, I liked the Starbucks comment and the sarcasm used when describing JTs predicting a merge. Thanks for the Hahas. I wish Rob was still here, I’m beginning to respect Parv as a gamer, but Sandra The Awesome for the win!
Of course it’s only a show. But it used to be the greatest of all reality shows. And now it’s become just another lame competition show, like the Amazing Race or America’s Next Top Model.
I was never really a fan of Happy Days, but it had its moments in the early years. But then it started focusing too much on the Fonzie character, and quickly went downhill, culminating with the famous jumping the shark scene.
This is what is happening to Survivor.
I’m happy that Mr. D’s happy though, don’t get me wrong ;-D
Awesome recap. I laughed my ass off.
This episode was filled full of awesome. First, you had JT, Rupert, and Colby handing over the immunity idol. Which was hilarious throughout.
I just love how JT really believes that he is some big time strategist, and how it’s just going all wrong. It justifies my support for Stephen for the Million during his season. I didn’t believe JT deserved the Million since Stephen was the brains of the operation, and now JT is out there proving it.
Second, we had the whole Parvati deal going on. She had tons of awesome scenes this episode, and it should be pretty clear by now that she has Russel wrapped around her little finger. She is such an awesome villain.
I’m hoping to see Parvati stab Russel in the back, but I doubt she will because she has found the perfect role for him: her tool.
I’m rather surprised you didn’t include her comment about: Russel being the ‘King’ and herself being the ‘Queen’ – and how the ‘King does what the Queen wants’ – I think it sums up her position rather well.
I’m predicting that either Parvati or Sandra will win the Million. I’m also predicting that Russel makes it to the final three.
I just don’t get how it was ok to cast Russell for an all-star season. The whole point of bringing back star players is that they have some sense of each other’s play coming in and can use that info, along with their own previous experience, to their advantage.
It is super annoying that everyone is playing blind when it comes to this troll. IMO if any of them had seen his season ain’t no way he would have been offered an idol and he prob would have been one of the first to go. My frustration comes from the fact that we know so much more about Russell than the other surviors which does not make for a level playing field.
argh…sigh
it is late and whatever – but the last sentence should have read:
My frustration comes from the fact that we know so much more about Russell than the other survivors DO, which does not make for a level playing field.
Realitee, you should read Jeff Probst’s blog. He addresses that very fact.
While he’s not a super-genius like Sandra or Parvarti, I have to give Russell props for jumping at opportunities and manipulating them to his advantage. In that sense he’s playing very well and it’s fun to watch.
Now rooting for Sandra just because she’s the underdog v. Parvarti.
I thought I would miss Coach, but seeing him in his samurai get-up made me LOL. It’s the perfect small dose of hilarity.
I had to stop reading Probst’s ‘blog’ . It just become clear that he’s a goddamned idiot and only lucked into the job of a lifetime. Takes away a lot of the mystique of Survivor when you realize what a buffoon he is.
The worst part of his ‘blog’ is that he insists on pretending that he’s rooting for this or that contestant, when in fact he’s completely aware of who got booted out when and who gets to the final (and most likely who wins the game).
Oh Itchy, I can’t believe you’re not enjoying this one. I guess I can relate, when I hate someone, the whole show is dead to me, but I think we’ve got a roller coaster ahead of us on this one.
Great comments and recap all! Sadly, I read before tucking in last night, so I’m not as fresh as I’d like to be . . . hee . . .
I’ve read Probst’s blog, and he really makes me ill. I can just hear the douchery as I read his words, and to be honest, I’m not even sure what I ever get from it. I thought he was going to carry on about the Coach elimination. One of them was all about his porch cushions getting wet–oh HORRORS!!!
I think the only thing Russell did, by way of the idol gift, was to wear his shorts so low there was almost a need to blur. I didn’t know trolls were built so fine around the hip bones! Their little glance exchange was like a slow burn period piece, ala, Pride and Prejudice.
And lastly, all you russ haters, try to see the joy through Mr. D’s eyes, maybe it will help.
For the first time in many, many season’s of survivor, I can’t wait to see what happens next week.
Also, I’m sure Russell can say he wasn’t in danger, that they decided to keep him for his strength!
Don’t forget the last part of what Parvarti said about JT giving Russell his heart.
“…and Russell is going to stab it a million times over and hand it to me and I’m gonna eat it.”
itchy:
I never knew how dumb Probst was until I saw him on Celebrity Jeopardy. If you can find a youtube clip it’s worth a look. He is dumber than dirt.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before in some drunken post but I saw Jeff Probst at Wertz Bros. in Santa Monica, once, about five years ago.
I was in the armoire section. So was he. He had some YOUNG, pretty, drop-dead gorgeous “chick” with him. She must have been 19. I walked past him just to make sure it was him. It was! He was wearing SO MUCH MAKE UP though.
He must have been doing a shoot somewhere nearby.
He seemed smart enough to me. I mean, he was with a “Babe” young enough to be his daughter.
PS: Thank you leslilly for the FACEBOOK info. I wish I could find a RUSSELL HANTZ 12 MONTH CALENDAR. I would like a calendar where he’s wearing seasonal outfits. Swimwear in the summer months, Parkas in the winter months. Dressed as Santa for December….That sort of thing.
Hey! He could dress as a leprechaun for April.
Um, I don’t think Mr. D is looking at things through his eyes. Well, not those eyes. Maybe Lil’ Squinty.
I stopped reading Probst’s blog round about the time he starting going off about his stupid fucking cushions.
And it’s not that I don’t enjoy watching Survivor, it’s just the show used to be so great. And now it’s about the level of Rock of Love Bus.
Mr. Dangerous, St Patty’s is not in April… it’s everyday for The Russell Hantz.
Dear Schoonie, I would like to say how much I’ve enjoyed reading your recaps and itchy, your comments.
Sandra has been my favorite since day 1 and I love that you love her too and give her credit for her awesome moves.
I like Parv too, and I love Courtney.
Anyway, I’m really sad that Russell ruined this season. I could give a crap about Samoa- but he ruined All Stars -something I looked forward to for AGES.
And the “RUSSELL UNKNOWN FACTOR” that Jeff Probst douchily explained on his blog actually had the nerve to say that Russell came in with a DISADVANTGE. It just shows how increasingly delusional the editing is getting.
What makes me most mad is that, had Tyson watched Russell, he would have never switched his vote.
Which would have meant that the controlling alliance of Rob, Courtney, Sandra, Jerri, Coach, and Tyson would have likely dominated the rest of the game.
But of course, everything magically works out for Russell – even when an idol clue is basically handed to Parvati (and she doesnt share it with him) he still ends up with a freaking idol!
I will never forgive Russell, the editors, and Jeff Probst, for ruining my favorite tv show that I have stood by since I was seven years old.
K, had a chance to read Jeff’s blog and good lord what a load of dribble: “There’s been a lot of debate about whether Russell had an advantage or a disadvantage since nobody knew anything about him coming into this season. My take is that he had neither.”
Jeff’s take is that production warned the all-stars that Russell was coming in as “one of the 5 most notorious male villains of all time” and that is enough to counter-balance the fact that none of them had seen his gameplay. He actually makes the argument that Russell’s unknown super villain status was a risk and he was warned he might get voted off immediately. And since Russell made it past the first few TCs he is some sort of amazing strategist. Huhwah?!? Rob and Parv were going to be so scared of this nobody that they were just going to vote him off blind? Oh please, if anything it assured he would be around so they could read him and possibly use him later.
Knowing that someone is labeled a villain tells you virtually nothing, other than they didn’t lead some major alliance in their season where they never had to make a nasty move. Compare any of the villains to eachother and they are drastically diff in game play, style, ability, etc.
Total bs Mark B…getting pretty sick of the Russell show.
Awesome recap Schoonie.
The comments this week are hilarious.
Mr. D cracks me up. And I love me some Itchy!
xoxo
Oh my, Mr D…
I almost spit my milk out with your calendar comment. TOO FUNNY!
Someone above mentioned that this is the first time in a while where they’ve looked forward to the next episode.
Funny because I was thinking just the opposite.
All the people I was rooting for have been picked off one by one.
Then, I was rooting for Parvati until her little scene where she was reading the letter. To me, she just seemed so fake. I know she was making fun of JT, but her laughter just seemed so forced. Blech.
Maybe I’ll just root for Sandra…or maybe I’ll just stop watching.
I haven’t decided yet.
At least Dangerous is a happy one.
When Coach and Courtney are on the villains tribe, merely telling the others that Russell was also a villain means absolutely nothing.
And even telling the others this much about Russell completely contradicts the whole competition aspect of the game. It’s not like they debriefed everyone about everyone else — “Careful there people, Parvati’s a charmer” or “Watch out for Sandra, she’s an expert manipulator”.
Meanwhile, I’m totally for Parvati, since she’s the hottest Survivorette of all time.
So I suppose, this season, me and Mr. D ought to be sitting on a couch giggling together while we watch the show.