Survivor: Man Friends

Tonight, on Survivor: The big finale. WHO WILL WIN? Yeah, there’s really no suspense about that this season.Back at camp after the Coach boot (Say it with me…HELL YES), Stephen, JT, Taj and Erinn celebrate being the final four. JT and Stephen begin talking about jury votes for each other right in front of Taj and Erinn, which is interesting and should have set off some sort of alarm in their heads. They both seem to think that the other will get more votes. Stephen, in particular, thinks JT avoided voting for Coach tonight so that he could get his vote, which is probably true, and which also makes Stephen doubt JT. “I’m loyal to JT, but more to myself and my own odds of winning,” Stephen says. You mean you aren’t just lying down and letting JT take home the victory? But that’s what everyone else has been doing! HOW DARE YOU?

On the morning of Day 37, Stephen and Taj discuss their biggest threat: JT. “If JT loses immunity, dot dot dot,” and yes, he actually says the words “dot dot dot”. “I don’t think I can do that, but…better him than me,” Stephen says. Taj is like “Oh yeah, I totally wouldn’t do that either!” but you can tell that they both totally would and just don’t want to be the first to say it. OMG, they’re like the Ross and Rachel, if Ross and Rachel wanted to annihilate their enemies.

“One of us is going to have to put on the leather pants.”

JT and Erinn go to get the treemail and are like “Oh no” when they looking into the basket. This is because they pull out a bug, which of course makes them afraid that they’re going to have to eat something gross and/or let gross things crawl on them. Things besides Coach, that is.

Immunity Challenge! A huge obstacle course shaped like a spider, with a trampoline in the center and eight legs radiating out awaits the Survivors. They have to navigate through the legs of the spider (which are netted tunnels) to retrieve three bags of puzzle pieces and then solve a web shaped puzzle, which will win them immunity.

We can assume, of course, that JT gets out to a nice lead. JT and Taj actually cross paths at one point inside a tunnel, and he just sort of…launches himself over top of her. JT gets started on his puzzle first, but the puzzle is pretty complicated, allowing some of the others (particularly Erinn) to make up some ground and almost even the playing field. In a very close finish, JT narrowly edges out Erinn and takes home the immunity necklace.

There are way too many online fanfics that start out just like this.

Back at camp, Taj states what we all think will be the obvious conclusion, which is that Erinn is a goner. However, Erinn’s not going down without a fight. “I don’t want to make it seem like I’m scrambling,” she notes, trying to learn from the mistakes of Debbie. Well, non-arithmetic related mistakes, anyway.

Erinn gets Stephen and JT alone, pointing out that Taj has played a really great social game and is friends with everyone. When Stephen and JT get alone time, Stephen says that he knows they can both beat Erinn. JT seems down to get rid of Taj. “As long as me and you are solid, I don’t care what we do, man,” he says loyally. Oh, JT. Just try to make out with him and get it over with.

Tribal Council. Coach’s new status as a member of the jury has done nothing to negate his irksomeness: he has not shaved his beard or cleaned himself up at all, and he wanders in with his stupid dragon cane. Probst asks Stephen how in the hell Jalapao ended up beating all of Timbira, because that’s pretty impressive. “We just sort of formed a plan to get close with different people, and it worked.” The real answer, of course, is that Coach’s ego left a huge weak spot that led to the implosion of Timbira, and the Jalapaos were smart enough to take advantage of that. Probst asks Erinn what it feels like to be the last Timbira member, and she notes that she’s “proud of herself but not, in, like, a vengeful way”, she says, because she is actually proud in a spiteful way. Wouldn’t you be if stupid Coach and stupid Debbie and stupid Tyson and stupid Sierra were all sitting over on the jury after treating you like crap for a month?

Don’t worry, they’re all haters, Erinn.

Probst notes that since there are three Jalapao and one Timbira, Erinn’s odds aren’t looking that good tonight. Thanks, genius! He asks Erinn whether she started to scramble, and she tells him no. “If my tribe members taught me anything, it’s that scrambling won’t work,” she says. Way to grab those jury votes, Erinn!

Probst asks Stephen whether Erinn is the weakest player and if they’re just following Coach’s philosophy. When Stephen tries to duck the question, Probst calls him out. “You’re sitting there like you just got here and have no idea how this game is played!” Probst says all condescendingly, because Stephen has not done anything athletically impressive, and therefore it is okay to berate him.

“Fine. The vote tonight is to assure myself a place in the finals.” Stephen says, thrown off by Probst’s sudden abrasiveness. He needs to know your thoughts on Coach! Be careful, or Probst will KICK YOU IN THE FACE.

Time to vote. We see Erinn vote for Taj and Taj vote for Erinn. When Probst reads the votes and a second one for Taj comes up, we know that things are over for our lovable Sister With Voice.

Was anyone else as floored as I was that they did this to her? Don’t get me wrong, it is pretty impressive and definitely the correct move to make, but I kind of thought they wouldn’t do it. As Taj’s torch is snuffed, Stephen and JT can’t look anyone in the face, and you can see that they’re kind of disgusted with themselves.

Taj’s final words are good natured: she admits to be shocked at her blindside. “If Erinn can weasel herself into the end, she definitely has my vote!” she says, laughing. Bye, Taj! See you in…65 minutes or so!

Back at camp, Stephen and JT try to legitimize their decision. “We decided that it would be easier to win the next challenge against Erinn. You can’t make a strategic decision based on the emotional niceness of it,” they say correctly. Erinn gets a little overly self-congratulatory here, trying a bit too hard to make herself part of the group. “Every tribal council since the merge has gone exactly as we’ve planned it!” she says, using second person when third person, as we all know, is clearly more accurate.

Erinn, so excited to remain in the game, continues to talk and talk and talk, which is a mistake any of us (read: me) could be liable to make in a similar situation. They sit with their heads in their hands, and Erinn doesn’t really pick up the body language. “Erinn just keeps talking, completely ignorant of any emotional turmoil JT and I are going through.” Wait, so you two just made the completely ruthless (albeit correct) choice to vote out your closest ally, and now you want someone else to be considerate of your emotions about the decision that you just made without any of your emotions? You’ve made your overly talkative bed, and now you must lie in it.

Day 38. Stephen talks to Erinn while JT is off in the background doing…something…and they pretty much agree to take each other to the final two, should they win. They do give each other the best chance, after all. Plus, the precedent has already been established with the Taj boot. Can you blame them?

What, they should take JT?

“I’m actually afraid of winning immunity today because I’ll have a difficult choice,” Stephen says. JT, correctly suspicious that Stephen might be reconsidering their arrangement, tries to get Stephen to commit one more time. JT tells Stephen over and over again how committed he is to him while Stephen stares at him, saying nothing, refusing to reciprocate the feelings. “We’re eating breakfast tomorrow, man. You have my word and my life that I’m gonna take you,” JT says. He waits hesitantly for a similar statement from Stephen, but none is coming. This is exactly how my senior prom was.

The clue comes that tells the Survivors to get ready for their final immunity challenge. But first! We have to watch them walk along a path and remember a bunch of people they hate. The best part of it is right at the beginning, when Erinn goes, “I love that we’re the final three!” and Stephen goes, “Well, I love that it’s me and two other people.” Word, Stephen.

So here is everything you need to know about the people that used to be on this show: Carolina and her giant boobs have been missing for weeks. Candace and her giant boobs too. Wow, lots of giant boobs got voted out early. This is a tragedy that had heretofore gone unaddressed. I’m thinking of getting a shirt airbrushed in their honor.

Next they show someone named Jerry, and then: Sandy. Of course, they show Sandy being annoying in various and sundry ways, including riding Erinn like a complete idiot and saying “fartin’ beans” over and over again. In this age of swine flu, she is like a breath of fresh SARS.

Typhoid Sandy

Spencer was Spencer, and he is now dating Todd from a few seasons ago, apparently. Sydney was extremely hot and not much else.

Also, Joe existed. Who knew?

Brendan was the “first dragon slain”, according to Stephen. In his interview, he’s actually pretty good humored about his defeat, and you can tell that he was pretty much just doing this for fun, since he’s already richer than you and I will ever be. It’s nice to have that luxury, eh?

Tyson mentions that he was overconfident (ya think?). “IT seems like the more pathetic you look and act, the farther you get. Those people can have their money, I’ll keep my awesome personality and fantastic good looks.” And creepy porn star moustache, if the reunion is any indication.

The final three try to say that Sierra was a really sweet girl, but the editors apparently do not agree, because there’s a whole montage of her looking sad and crying and looking sad some more. I guess when that’s pretty much all you do the whole time you’re on TV (except towards the end when she completely owned everyone, which was awesome), they don’t have much footage of you looking happy. Perhaps someone should get her a balloon, or a sandwich, or a sandwich shaped balloon.

Debbie says that she’s not as great at figuring people out as the thought. The eighth graders at her middle school will have to be extra careful when they smoke in the bathroom from now on! Detective Debbie is on the case. And then you will go to jail for one to eleventy years! That’s a number, right?

YAY! I won-ded it!

And now: Coach. “I think I did change the game and make it more honest,” says Coach. He changed it how, exactly? By integrating more whimsy into the proceedings? Because from where I’m sitting, the two (and maybe even three) most strategic players are sitting at the end having betrayed almost everyone else, just like normal. Way to revolutionize Survivor, Coach! Your effect upon the game will leave ripples for seasons! Future reality TV stars will model their approach after your innovative tactics, which were so effective that they netted you…fifth place, with such stalwart contestants as Erik the floppy-haired kid who gave his immunity away, and Crazy Shane, who spent thirty-three days getting his chemical imbalance all over my television! Your accomplishment will never be matched! THREE CHEERS FOR COACH, EVERYONE! LET US HOIST HIM UPON OUR SHOULDERS! IMMORTALIZE HIM IN BRONZE, I SAY! WHO IS WITH ME?

Coach then quotes Neitzsche, because if there’s anything the Vikings and Samurai believed in, it is that God is dead. Speaking of the Vikings: “Just like the Vikings said, how you died determined your position in heaven,” says Coach. And at this exact moment, the editors choose to show him collapsing into the fetal position and crying like a girl. Hmm. That’s gotta be a coincidence.

Finally, we remember Taj, who was awesome and fun, just like normal. Then the little idols that they’ve collected along the way are burned and they stand and stare at them for what seems like hours.

Finally, it is time for the final immunity challenge. I know I’ve been criticizing the challenges this season for being phoned in, but this one is really cool and well thought out. There’s an elaborate, winding metal track for each contestant. At first, the remaining Survivors will place one ball at the top of the apparatus, where it will spiral downward, where you will catch it and place it back into the chute. Slowly, more and more balls will be added until there are eight balls going at the same time. When one of your balls hits the ground, you’re eliminated, and the last person standing wins. Oh, and also, you have to do this with one hand tied behind your back.

“This is how we do our taxes at the cattle ranch, except the abacus is smaller.”

So this challenge is not only well designed and creative, but pretty spectacular visually. Kudos to the challenge guys, because this is really cool. All three of the contestants seem to have no trouble, even when it’s time to begin managing two balls. However, when it’s time to go to three balls, Erinn drops one and gets knocked out first. When it comes time to add a fourth ball, Stephen’s nerves begin to get to him and he fumbles a few. Eventually, he botches a grab at the bottom and gets knocked out, meaning that JT wins the final immunity challenge and will be a member of the final two.

Back at camp, Stephen is happy about the “enormous weight” that’s been lifted off his shoulder because he won’t have to make a decision between JT and Erinn. “If I stay, leave your beard alone and I’ll help you with it tomorrow,” Erinn says, half-kidding.

Erinn is, again, not going down without a fight. She goes to JT, telling him that not only will he get all the votes, but that “people” said that “it would be suicide” to go against him. JT puts this together pretty easily, and asks all the right questions to make Erinn admit that Stephen said he would take her.

JT, now bothered with the choice, sits with Stephen next to the fire. Stephen asks whether Erinn pleaded her case, and JT’s says, verbatim: “Yes. She has a very good one, motherfucker!”

Up next: JT does Eddie Murphy’s Raw, in its entirety.

He confronts Stephen about what Erinn said, and Stephen doesn’t deny it, wisely. “I’m willing to talk things through with you if you’re having doubts,” he says. When JT argues that it’s a guaranteed million dollars to take Erinn, Stephen says “Well, you’re still gonna win the million dollars, you’ll just be doing the right thing.”

“Well, I’d be scared if I were you,” JT says to him, trying to make him pay for the promises he made to Erinn. Way to strike fear into the hearts of men, JT. You are truly intimidating, especially with the giant Babe The Blue Ox you decided to paint on your back a few episodes ago.

Tribal Council. The jury enters Brendan first, and Brendan is so excited to see if JT won immunity that he peers around the corner and then claps like a ten-year old when he enters. I guess we know who he’s voting for, eh? Probst asks Erinn what her pitch to stay was, and she says that she basically laid it out for JT: she goes, he wins the million.
Probst even calls it “easy money” against Erinn, which makes me think, combined with how he acted at the last Tribal, that he may not like Stephen.

Stephen gets a similar chance to justify his continued presence, and Stephen goes the moral route, stating that keeping him around is the right thing to do. I think this, right here, is where Stephen lost a bunch of jury votes. When Probst asks him to elaborate about why he’s the moral choice, Stephen brings up that they’ve spent a lot of time talking about having breakfast together on Day 39. Probst gets all “Oh, breakfast! Fiddle dee dee, that’s worth a million dollars!” on Stephen, because, as I said, Probst hates Stephen.

Stephen then has to lay out the obvious for Jeff, telling him that it’s not about the breakfast itself, but about having breakfast as a symbol of their partnership and success. Because Probst does not understand the concept of metaphor, because he has no use for them, since metaphors cannot pick heavy things up or lose teeth in battle or have sex with you.

“Hello, ladies. And men whose names are James, Colby, or JT.”

When he finally gets around to asking JT what he thinks, JT gives Erinn props for sticking around when people were trying to get rid of her within the first week. He says this is a great reason to take her, but isn’t it equally a great reason NOT to take her? It’s a pretty impressive feat to survive. I mean, it’s in the title of the show. What show does JT think he’s on, Reward The Adorable Southerner?

Time to vote. Wow, I am really tense. I didn’t realize just how much I was rooting for Stephen until this point, right here. When Probst reads the vote, it’s for Erinn, and her time is up, finally. Her final words are kind of generic: she’s very proud of herself (which she should be), and happy that she got to stick around for so long. Deep!

Back at camp, it’s the morning of Day 39. They pat themselves on the back repeatedly for completely dominating the entire game, and I don’t even begrudge them that; they’re one of the most impressive pairings ever. Of course, there is a giant breakfast, and they eat all of the eggs and pancakes and sausage together in celebration. There’s a lot of talk about how their first impressions of each other were completely wrong; Stephen thought JT was this biased Southern charmer, and JT thought Stephen was this really religious guy. Why in the world would he think that? Was Stephen dressed like a rabbi in episode one and I just neglected to mention that? Anyway, they could not be more different, yadda yadda, same stuff we’ve heard twenty times, and yet they work so well together because their mindsets are so similar. I smell sitcom!

“Let’s buy a house together.”

They leave camp together for the final tribal council, somehow managing not to burn everything down. Isn’t burning the camp to the ground a hallowed final two tradition? I mean, they’re in Brazil! Slashing and burning is practically a national pastime there.

Final Tribal Council! Probst calls on them to begin their opening statements, and Stephen’s up first, and he argues that while JT was a better woodsman, more charming, and more suited for this game in general, Stephen came from the city, had never been camping before, and was sort of uncomfortable in his own skin and ended up in the same place. “We decided everything together, but the road has been a lot harder for me,” he says, “And thank you to all of you for helping me with that.” The “thank you” to the jury is never advised. I don’t think you can ever thank the jury during a final tribal council without having it seem condescending: “Hey, thanks for suffering defeat at my hands, losers! When I am swimming around in the hundred grand that I’m at least guaranteed to win at this point, I’ll be sure to shed a single tear for each of you.”

JT’s opening statement is more of an emotional appeal: “I’m no Yale grad or English major. In fact, I’m the first person to graduate college in my family, and I’ve worked hard to get to where I am. All Stephen and I did was get rid of the people that we thought were going to get rid of us.” The jury looks incredulous at this point, because what, Sierra was suddenly going to mount an attack against JT? JT points out that he could have gotten rid of Stephen and taken Erinn, but he did not because of his loyalty to Stephen, and he would like them all to reward that loyalty. In short: “Hey, people who I betrayed! Aren’t I a stand up guy?”

Time for jury questions: Brendan’s up first. Because he is Brendan and this is an athletic competition and he is already going to vote for JT, he tries to poke holes in Stephen’s argument by pointing out that they never had an immunity challenge about personal growth, so why should that be rewarded? Brendan is, of course, missing the entire point. There are about nineteen aspects to this game, one of which is winning challenges, the other eighteen of which are the various social aspects that actually keep your ass in the game. When Stephen points out that the challenges are less important than playing the game itself, as is evidenced by the fact that he is, you know, sitting there in the final two, Brendan is still confused.

And what does Brendan do when he’s confused? Why, he asks JT what he thinks, because JT is the greatest person ever! “Hey, JT, is growth relevant? You have absolutely no personal stake in this scenario, of course, so I’m sure your answer will be totally objective, right? Oh, and can I give you a hug?”

I think he’s being hypnotized.

JT, shockingly, says that while it’s nice to grow, it doesn’t really matter. In fact, he is the main reason for Stephen’s change, because he had to psych Stephen up before some of the challenges, so he can take credit for that, too. Stephen wants a rebuttal and says that hiding in the shadows is a legitimate strategy, which seems a little out of context for this scenario. Also, JT is talking! Can you not tell by how all the ladies and some gentlemen are currently being charmed? “Well, I think sticking your neck out deserves a little more respect.” JT says, which is not incorrect. JT’s being smart here by painting himself as the guy who made all the decisions, when we know that most (but not all) of the time, it was largely Stephen who made them.

Erinn’s turn. She asks Stephen how he played three very specific alliances (the Jalapao Three, The Exile, and Warrior) all at the same time. Stephen answers best he can, which is to tell her that the game is largely social and he just formed some structures and then worked within them, just like anyone else would. Stephen says that he played aggressively and worked those relationships to his benefit, which is why he should win. Pretty straightforward, right?

Erinn’s question for JT is, of course, why take Stephen over Erinn? JT says that Stephen was more loyal to him and for longer than Erinn was. I’m not sure what exactly she was expecting out of that. An apology? Some insurmountable evidence that does not exist?

Debbie’s turn. Oh, lord. She tells them both that she legitimately hasn’t decided for whom to vote. Her question for JT is “JT, when we first met, I was very drawn to you. I think I may have misjudged you. Was his first instinct right or is lying and deception your MO?” I love how Debbie still has no idea how this game is played like two weeks after she’s been voted out.

The part of Debbie will be played tonight by Paula from Real World/Road Rules Challenge

JT’s answer is hilarious: “My mom told him he had to lie.” Awesome. When your mom tells you to do something? You do it. He also mentions that he’s not the only one in this conversation that lied, since she tried to vote Coach out and all. This shuts Debbie up quick, because oops!

Debbie then asks Stephen if he’d have done the same thing JT did had he won the final immunity. He tells her that he seriously doesn’t know (which I think is his honest answer, because he knows that he’d be very tempted), and Debbie stops him. “I want an answer, and I think you know it. I think I know it too,” she says.

This is ridiculous. Why badger him into answering a question in exactly the way you want him to? That doesn’t make the answer you’re looking for true, it makes it the only answer you’re willing to take. How does that help to make a decision? He already gave you the honest answer. Here are the options you have left him: if he says that he would have taken JT, you think he’s a liar and you vote for JT to win. If he says he would have taken Erinn, you think he’s dishonest and you vote for JT. I suppose I don’t need to point out that Debbie’s agenda here is actually pretty dishonest in and of itself, since she just said she didn’t know who she was going to vote for, when she very plainly does.

So anyway, Stephen tells her that he probably would have chosen Erinn, because that’s what she wants to hear and that’s the only option she’s leaving him. Now, that’s not to say he wouldn’t have actually taken her, but I’m pretty sure that he really, seriously doesn’t know. “My hope is that I would have taken JT, but my fear is that I would have chosen Erinn.” I mean, can you get more honest than that? JT immediately looks like a broken man, putting his head into his hands. Based on the information we have from the reunion, which one of these people is the honest one? Not that it’s not a good move on JT’s part, of course, I’m just trying to point out that this whole situation is pretty much the opposite of what everyone seems to think it is.

Coach. He says that it makes him proud to see people from the power alliance in the finals. Again, he’s totally telling the truth, it’s just not the alliance that he participated in. He starts talking about beliefs and he begins to get all long winded, but nothing will ever beat that Exile Island sequence from Thursday, and you guys know how it goes with him by this point, right?

When he finally gets around to his question, he wants an example from JT of a time when he was “a noble warrior” by putting others in front of himself while battling hard. I’m not quite sure what he was asking, to be honest. JT points out that he was noble and honest when Coach himself went home. “Even though I knew that you were going home, I didn’t vote for you.” How is that noble? It’s actually a pretty empty gesture, if you actually have any loyalty to Coach.

Stephen? Same question. “I actually voted for every single person who went home, I never took the weasel way out (ouch), because I wanted to bear the moral burden of that. On the other hand…well, I don’t want to say any more than that,” he says, looking at JT. That was pretty ruthless, right there. Of course, he knows he has nothing to worry about because Coach is going to vote for him no matter what, so that’s nice to know.

“Yes, but let’s talk about me.”

Sierra’s turn. She tells Stephen she had a question for him but that he’s kind of already answered it. She then proceeds to tell JT that he actually went to the final three with two of the weakest players, compared to Tyson or Brendan or Coach, so what does taking the strongest even mean? Way to call people twenty times stronger than you weaklings, Tears McGee. Hanging out in the Ponderosa with these people has done you no favors.

JT defends Stephen, telling Sierra that he’s a very strong competitor, and in fact was the strongest of the Final Four. You will note that he said Final Four and not Final Five, because he’s still working on Coach’s vote. Nice work by JT, there. “Well, you lost a lot of my respect because you could have been with Tyson or Brendan,” she says in response. Yes, because counting on your loyal friends to work with you up until the end is such a disrespectful course of action. He’s just like Hitler! Sierra is missing the point in about nine million different ways, and it just looks really ugly on her.

Tyson. He asks JT if Stephen was an asset in getting to the final. JT, surprisingly, says that he could have gotten to the end without Stephen, but that it wouldn’t have been as easy. Stephen looks hurt at this. “I really don’t think that’s true,” Stephen says, because he has personally saved JT’s ass at least once, since he could have gone with Brendan, Taj and Sierra to the end. Really, Stephen was set up better to get to the end than JT. From where I’m sitting, Stephen and Taj got hold of the idol first, Stephen and Taj created almost all of the relationships (except maybe the one with Coach), and then JT got to reap the benefits. I think Stephen might have a point, because JT could have been voted out way back when Tyson was still in the game, if Stephen had wanted it to happen.

Taj. She tells them both that she’s crushed and betrayed at what they did to her, and felt that it was unnecessary. “JT, why are you telling Coach how you couldn’t lie to him, but it was so effortless to lie to me?” That’s because what JT betrayed Coach in the same way that the people who voted for him did, which is the same way he betrayed Taj. There’s really no difference at all. Taj gets ready to cry, and JT looks guilty as he tries to explain himself. Since there really is no explanation and it’s a game, he just tells her how hard it was over and over again. That’s what SHE cried about!

Taj has basically the same question for Stephen. He tries to tell her that he’d been extremely loyal to her, keeping her in the game when JT had been talking about taking her out for a while. We’ve seen JT bring up the idea of getting rid of Taj on a couple of occasions, going all the way back to the Sydney vote, where Stephen definitely swayed him and saved her, so he’s not necessarily lying here. Of course, the two of them have talked at one point or another about voting pretty much everyone in the game out, and JT has a couple of occasions when Stephen brought it up, too. In short, they were both just playing the game to watch their backs and only their backs, but they’re both trying to make the other one look dishonest.

They begin to argue about it, and Taj actually tries a couple of times to give them back their dignity. “It’s okay, it’s fine!” she says, trying to calm them down, but they’re too busy tearing into each other by this point. Taj just returns to her seat wearily; the jury seems happy to watch them fight each other, and Sierra tries to high-five Taj, which only makes her look worse than she already did.

Remember when I said I didn’t understand why no one likes Sierra? I get it now.

“Your friendship means more to me than winning, man,” Stephen says to him, trying to smooth things over. JT repeatedly asks about Erinn going to the end, and Stephen repeats over and over again that he never made that decision, and he has no idea. “I just feel like a fool,” JT says.

And with that, it is time to vote. We don’t really see anyone’s vote, which usually indicates a landslide. When Coach returns from casting his vote, he throws his jacket over his shoulder and peers at Sierra. Who knew he had a sense of humor about himself?

Probst tells them that he’ll see them all in New York and walks off set while they all look around, confused. I always find this hilarious, because every season it seems like Probst is going “Thanks for the show, guys. We’ve got what we need here. You’re on your own!” and then he just leaves them all in Brazil to fend for themselves.

Now we’re in New York, and Stephen and JT are both sharply dressed in suit jackets and jeans. JT has shaved his beard, but Stephen has not. The crowd is really feisty, heckling Probst when he enters and screaming “I love you” throughout his intro speech. Four votes to win, yadda yadda, we all know the deal.

The first vote is for JT, the second vote is for JT, and then…so are all the rest, and he is the winner. Yay! Even though I kind of wanted Stephen to win, JT is a nice guy and this was a relatively well-played season with a deserving winner.

Next up: the reunion!