Survivor: My Tears Make The Decisions Around Here

Survivor

By Schoonie | Tuesday, December 16, 2008 | 10:17 pm | 51 Comments

Tonight, on Survivor: Lots of bitterness! Lots of sweetness! And lost those other two types of taste buds that no one can think of, but I think are Skittles and Beef Jerky!Nobag (so glad I’m done typing that after tonight), Night 36. Sugar can’t help but to congratulate herself after the nice little blindside of Crystal she just executed. “That was a perfect execution of the immunity idol, if I do say so myself,” she says so, herself. Despite the fact that it was probably very emotionally gratifying for her to get rid of Crystal, the actual playing of the idol didn’t really change the outcome. Crystal had four votes anyway. It was a nice stopgap measure, but that’s about it. Like everything else this season involving Sugar, it was a well thought-out strategic play based almost solely on emotion. I’m not sure, overall, that playing it in that specific fashion made a lot of strategic sense for her. In fact, it actually hurt her, because she was going to the final three with Crystal and Kenny anyway, so she’s really only alienated a few extra jury members this way.

Kenny sits on the hammock looking unhappy while Sugar and Matty high-five each other. “No one told me a thing!” Kenny says incredulously as Sugar tries to dismiss his worry all “Well, you know how things happen around here.” Um, you start crying and then make a kickass move guided only by your trail of tears?

“Well, what if it’s me next time?” Kenny says, worried. He starts berating Bob about the idol again, and Bob has heard enough, thankfully. “Well, why don’t you get your own idol?” he says to Kenny, deservedly. Bob knows that Kenny was trying to embarrass him by complaining about their deal to the jury at the last tribal council, and he confesses that all bets are off as a result, and he won’t be honoring anything that he’s promised Kenny.

The next morning while everyone’s asleep, Sugar and Bob have a private super secret alliance meeting. Sugar says she’s just going to keep pretending like she’s with Kenny, and then they can eliminate Sue and Kenny and go to the final three with Matty. “In order to make sure I go to the end, I need to make sure that Kenny feels safe,” she talking heads quite wisely. I’m so torn about Sugar at this point (which I will discuss at a later point), but I love that she knows exactly what she has to do to get what she wants.

To that point, Sugar and Kenny go to get the treemail and Sugar totally works him like a champion, telling him that she’s sorry that he didn’t know, and he buys it hook, line, and Sugar. As they walk back to camp with the clue, he tries to give it to her straight: “This isn’t a blindside on me, right?” he says. She’s all “No!” immediately, and it sounds very convincing. She’s pulled some really effective acting jobs this season, I must say.

The treemail contains robes of five different colors and warpaint, with the instruction to adorn themselves for the next challenge. Susie chooses the black cloth and face paint and ends up looking like she’s going to host Goth Talk with Azrael Abyss.

Matty is dressed in yellow, and he looks like a member of The Darkness:

And in what I believe is a video game shout out, Kenny is dressed just like a zombie from Resident Evil:

Immunity Challenge. Probst can’t resist taking the opportunity to mock how ridiculous they look, focusing on Bob even though, in my opinion, he actually looks the least ridiculous. Today’s challenge is multi-faceted: First the castaways dig under a wall, and then cross a giant balance beam maze, and then search in another maze for puzzle pieces hidden in a bunch of huts. Once all three bags of pieces have been collected, they’re used to build a replica of a Gabonese hut, and the fastest person to do that will win immunity.

You might not believe me, but Susie actually gets underneath the wall first and builds up a nice lead going into the maze. This actually works against her, however, when the rest of the castaways end up just following her through the maze, making everyone but Matty (who fell behind because he fell off of the maze itself) neck-in-neck going into the hut search. Everyone stays pretty close through the first couple puzzle bags, and Sugar actually gets all her bags first, closely followed by Bob. Susie can’t find her last bag and falls out of the running, but everyone else gets into a tense race to finish the puzzle. Bob, of course, just barely edges her, winning immunity yet again. Who’d have thought this guy would have done such an awesome job at challenges? Who looks at that cast photo and goes, “I bet that old guy right there? Is going to kick everyone’s collective ass.”

Back at camp, Kenny is unconcerned, lounging on the hammock nonchalantly. “I’m not worried at all. I’ve set myself up so well in this game that I can just chill,” he says as crows encircle his head ominously. Matty talks to Kenny down by the lake, promising not to blindside him. Kenny fails to notice the little twinge of evil in Matty’s voice. He’s practically tying Kenny to the railroad tracks here. Susie and Matty talk (well, Susie talks in Matty’s general vicinity) and she worries that she’s going home. Matty, fed up, just says “Do what you feel,” trying to get her to shut up so he can pass the time. My question is, how are people not targeting Sugar after all of the stuff she’s done? She’s done something to every single one of these people at some point, and yet no one is even thinking about it, perhaps out of habit because she had the idol for so long.

Matty tries to solidify things with Sugar, very emphatically all “You and me, NO MATTER WHAT!” Sugar shakes her head in affirmation. Vultures a hundred miles away, smelling fresh carrion, begin the long journey toward Matty’s remains.

Matty’s final three consists of Sugar and Kenny (so maybe he was just being sarcastic to Kenny earlier), and he wants to get rid of Susie next. Sugar says that Matty wants to get rid of Susie, but Kenny is very dangerous, and Matty and Bob will vote with her no matter what, so it’s her call to make. “The further along we get in the game, the harder these decisions are to make.” Um, that’s the point?

Tribal Council. Jeff asks Bob about all his challenge wins, since he is apparently tied for the consecutive immunity record (which I believe was set by Terry in the Panama season). Bob has very little to say except to state that he knows he wouldn’t be around were it not for his victories. Matty comments that Bob is “money”, because nothing’s current like a Swingers reference.

Probst asks Susie whether she’s concerned for her safety tonight, and she responds by highlighting the passive nature of her game, which you will be surprised to hear can sometimes be a detriment. That Susie: always saying relevant and helpful things. (My notes, literally say “Well, we can tell that, no shit.”)

Jeff then asks Kenny about the damn deal to get immunity from Bob, and he starts whining again about it, which I’m sure is exactly what everyone wants to hear. Over on the jury bench, Corinne rolls her eyes, in case you were wondering whether Kenny’s bitching was working out as he’d hoped. Bob awesomely responds by calling Kenny out for attempting to blindside him once he gave up immunity. “The deal was that if I help you, you help me, not that I help you, and then you stab me in the back.” Owned!

Kenny, now pushed into a corner, tries to legitimize the plan to get rid of Bob, but he’s clearly out of ideas and completely scrambling, and doing a really, really poor job, much to the jury’s delight. He was doing so well about two episodes ago, and here he is completely screwing himself over right at the end, which I believe might be called “pulling an Amanda”.

By the way, it’s worth noting that Sugar’s lipstick (which I’m guessing is actually the red paint from the last challenge) is both egregiously distracting and heinously overdone, an it’s not going away for the rest of the episode, so buckle in and try your hardest not to stare.

I can’t stop looking at it!

Time to vote! Susie votes for Kenny, and Kenny votes for Susie, condescendingly saying that he’s happy she got so far, and he wishes her the best. When Jeff goes to get the votes, the first one is Susie’s for Kenny, and then Kenny’s for Susie, and then the next two are Kenny and it’s all over. Sugar crushes yet another player under her faux-flapper slip-ons.

In Kenny’s farewell, he jokes that this is his GAME OVER screen. “Just like in video games, sometimes it doesn’t go your way, and you lose,” he says, beaming. “They got me good,” he says with a smile as wide as the screen, and you can absolutely tell that he has really, really enjoyed everything that he’s done over the past 37 days, and that while he’s sorry that it’s over, he sure had a great time doing it. That’s a great attitude to have.

Kenny did a lot of stuff right, and this game gives you permission to be disloyal to more than a few people, which he was. Everyone who has won the game has this one thing in common: loyalty to a group of people, extreme loyalty to one other person that you can trust absolutely. But where Kenny went wrong was that he was disloyal to pretty much everyone but Crystal at some point. You can’t make a majority at five with two people, and if they don’t trust you as a result and feel played, they’ll certainly turn on you. Think about it: if he had shown some loyalty to Matty a couple of TCs ago and voted for Corinne, how much different would this final four look right now

Anyway, nicely done, Kenny. Well, right up until the end.

It’s the next morning at Nobag, on a Kenny-less Day 38. Matty tells Susie that this is the first time that she should be super nervous. Matty is basically telling her that she has to win immunity, or she’s going to be out. Susie worries in about a hundred different confessionals in which she says that she has to win immunity, so you can fill that particular hole in however you’d like. Just make sure it’s mildly off-putting, and you get the idea. Matty returns with the next treemail, which means that it’s time for the always-exciting “let’s remember all the other A-holes that came before” portion of the finale. Does anyone need a snack? A breath mint? A nap?

Michelle is “honored” first. Matty says that Michelle did well at first challenge, and he was impressed. So there you go, Michelle. Enjoy Matty’s approval. What you should really take from Michelle is that she’s much, much hotter with her makeup. She says something boring in her talking head. Now, I’m going to be saying that a lot over the next few paragraphs, so you can generally imagine that as something along the lines of “Spending anywhere from three to twelve days stranded in the middle of Africa with a bunch of douchebags has game has changed me in drastic ways, blah blah I’m a different person and will be forever different for having been on television for two weeks, blah blah I look forward to speaking for five seconds at the finale.”

Oh, Gillian. She was “really fun” according to Susie, so I guess Susie enjoys eating poop. Gillian gets a confessional talking about how she knows she couldn’t compromise herself to fit in, and then she says something about being happy and lucky and annoys me within the span of five seconds. Wow, do not miss her.

Yep, still smells like nothing.

Paloma borings, Jacquie somehow upstages her by being even more boring and generic. GC gets a “that kid was classic” from Matty, and GC talks about being the leader that he so clearly was not, and then he somehow fails even at being boring.

Kelly “did pretty well considering her odds” according to Matty, who is apparently going to be the only one doing any talking during this segment. She says a bunch of boring stuff too, except, what she says is both boring and a grammatically improper mess, as we have all come to expect from Kelly.

Sugar almost starts crying when she gets to Ace’s torch, expressing regret that she turned on him so early. Oh, you were probably going to do it anyway, you’ve done it to just about everyone else, and you’re not done yet. The crying, it is getting a little tiresome. Ace talks about how it’s difficult for someone who has traveled as much as him to be with people who haven’t travelled out of their county, and basically everyone sucks but him as a result. Yes, the man who has chosen to live in that cultural epicenter known as Naples, Florida would like you to know that you are a backwoods ignoramus. Now let’s all go eat at Red Lobster!

Dan borings, and then Marcus borings too because that’s all he’s done all season, even though they do show that little kiss on the shoulder about which everyone seemed so riled up in the comments. After Charlie borings in a very eloquent manner, it’s time to honor Randy’s memory. “I have one thing to say to Randy,” Sugar says before delivering a raspberry. Eloquent! Randy and his mohawk talk about how grateful he is to have made friends, since he hasn’t done that in twenty years. He also tries to tell us that he’s not a dumbass for falling for the fake idol, because…well, he doesn’t give a reason, mostly because he sort of is a dumbass for falling for it.

Corinne says that she’s always been the kind of person who operates without a filter, and that when you take that away, she thinks she doesn’t have a personality. That? Is one of the saddest things I think I’ve ever heard anyone say. Not a joke, just actually, truly sad. I don’t want to elaborate, because this is not the place for that kind of thing and we are here to berate and not psychoanalyze, but I can summarize by stating that comment makes me want to give my mom a hug.

“Without all of these harsh comments, I’m nothing.”

Matty calls Crystal “the muscle behind the mastermind”. How was Crystal any sort of “muscle”? She lost every challenge. I’m sure she probably strongarmed some people by being rude and pushy, but I think Kenny did a lot of the muscling himself. Of course, Kenny is “the mastermind”, and Matty calls him “probably the most conniving player in the entire game”, which is how you can tell that Sugar has done a great job this season. She is, by far, the most conniving player this season. She’s making shifty eyes right now!

With that, everyone has been “honored”, so they take the masks representing all of the eliminated castaways and throw them on a fire while some villagers play traditional music. They all hold hands while their comrades burn as we go to commercial. Let’s think solemnly about Randy while we watch commercials for Cialis, shall we?

I will honor your memory by burning you alive.

Everyone done? Good. Challenge time! Probst calls it the “final” immunity challenge, so I guess there’s a final three this year. Today, the castaways will be given two hundred wooden tiles, and the tiles are to be used to “build a house of cards”. The first person to build a structure ten feet tall wins the final immunity and a guaranteed trip to the jury. I was as shocked as I’m sure everyone else was that this challenge wasn’t endurance related, but if you think about it, this is actually a logical extension of what they’ve been doing, which is to create challenges that are a more concentration-oriented with a small element of endurance (like the dish balancing from the China season and the marble deal from last season), and this is in that same vein, really. It’s cool that they keep changing things up and evolving their challenges, and part of why I still love this show after seventeen seasons. Oh, and there’s one more caveat: after 30 minutes, if no one has built a 10 foot tall tower, the person with the tallest structure will win.

The building of towers commences, and everyone seems to have a different strategy. Sugar’s going with what looks to be an unstable sort of triangular approach, using three tiles on each level and trying to get a tower up as quickly as possible. While Bob is working on very deliberately building a base, Susie’s is the first one to fall after getting about three feet tall. “Susie’s house of cards falls down!” Probst says, loving the destruction and the very blatant metaphor. Hey, did you know that your place in the game is a veritable “house of cards”? DID YOU?

Sugar’s tenuous structure falls once it gets a little taller than she is, which has to hurt. Bob’s still working from the bottom, trying to build a very sturdy base, and I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that he was going to figure out some sturdy way to do this and then suddenly smoke these fools. Sugar’s begins again and uses the long side of the tiles to quickly build a tall (if unsteady) structure. Susie starts again building a four sided structure this time, and Matty’s using like six on each level, somehow. Money!

Sugar’s falls again, and then Susie’s falls again. Oh, destruction. You are indeed entertaining. At 5 minutes left, Susie’s structure is quite high, and Sugar’s is too, but appears to be much less sturdy. With about a minute left, Susie wisely stops building at about eight feet and watches everyone else try to catch up to her. Once it becomes clear that no one is going to catch up to her, she completely loses it and starts crying, and with that, Susie is your final immunity winner, which certainly makes things interesting. On a side note, I feel like Kenny would have been awesome at this, so they probably made a good choice voting him out despite the fact that Susie won anyway.

“Take that, people who have no idea who I am!”

Back at camp, Matty basically tells Bob that he’s going to be getting his vote. Sugar starts crying (I know!) because she knows she has to vote for Bob. “He knows that nobody would win against him,” she says. He seems very good natured about it when they tell him, and the editors even give us the majestic orchestral exit music. Sneaky.

At this point, Susie starts talking and talking (and talking) a lot about her immunity win right in front of Bob. It’s a little insensitive, like a lot of the stuff Susie’s done this season, but you can tell that she’s just kind of overly excited about it, and she doesn’t realize what she’s doing and that it’s very genuine.

“If it ain’t about bow ties, I don’t wanna hear it.”

After talking at length about her immunity win, Susie asks Bob whether he thinks he would get a lot of jury votes if he were to go to the end. Bob, thinking that Susie is just using slightly different phrasing to continue congratulating herself, decides that he doesn’t really have the patience to deal with this anymore. “There’s really no point to even asking that, is there?” he says to her, annoyed. I mean, I can see why he would be annoyed, but now would probably be the time to be as nice as possible and start to look for any cracks you can. Susie tells us in confessional that she was trying to let Bob know that she wouldn’t have a problem taking Sugar out and going with him to the end instead, but that he put the kibosh on that by acting like a jerk. Susie keeps trying to get him to talk to her, and Bob finally just stops and asks that they talk about something else, since “everyone knows the score”. Well, he’s lucky Sugar’s an emotional mess right now.

Sugar takes it upon herself to take Susie aside and ask her not to talk about her immunity win to Bob, because it’s insensitive to him. I understand that Susie’s talking can be kind of annoying, but if Bob had won this immunity, do you think they’d give Susie the same consideration?

Sugar continues to be visibly disturbed at having to vote Bob out because she reminds him of her father, so she’s thinking about voting for Matty and forcing a tie. Bob seems really excited about this, and he goes off by himself to practice building a fire, karate kid style.

Sweep the leg!

“I don’t know exactly why Sugar’s being so kind to me,” he says. We don’t either, because it’s completely counter-intuitive to Sugar’s possible victory, which is what’s kind of bothered me about her throughout the whole game and what I’m just now realizing: My problem with Sugar is that she’s letting her emotions guide her through the game instead of thinking about how to create the best possible situation in which she can win. She’s making really shrewd moves, which has kept me from seeing what the real deal is.

If you think about it, she’s never really had a plan for more than a few hours ahead, and while she’s come up with well-executed ideas, there’s no grand plan and no real strategy. Sugar’s decisions have been based on how she’s judged people. She’s just continually taken it upon herself to deliver comeuppance to those that she believes to be “bad”, or conversely rewarded people that she believes to be “good”. She’s judged people according to whatever parameters she herself has set, decided a punishment, and then executed said punishment (exceedingly well, actually) without consideration for anything (and especially anyone) else but herself, and how she feels.

Think about it this way: why isn’t she giving Matty the same consideration she’s giving Bob? Shouldn’t she give him some sort of hint that he might need to prepare for a tiebreaker? Matty’s been very loyal to her. Matty’s voted how she wants. I’ll tell you: it’s because Sugar has made a little diagram in her head, and in that diagram she has ranked people according to their moral worth, and Bob is at the top and Matty is slightly underneath him. The fact that she’s keeping Bob around is the best proof of this hypothesis that I can offer: everyone knows he’s going to wipe the floor with her, and yet she cannot help herself, because this is how she has arranged the world around her, in good and bad, and handing down all these karmic punishments is her way of making sense of things. SHE believes that one person deserves this more than another, so SHE is taking it upon herself going to punish one person and reward the other.

My point is: Who is she to do that? It’s actually one of the most selfish ways imaginable to treat people, and it’s disguised as concern and friendship. She’s been doing it very effectively and efficiently, so it masquerades as some sort of strategy (despite the fact that it’s not), but nonetheless, it’s an exceedingly self-centered way to think and act.

The irony is that handing down these punishments without regard for any sort of loyalty to anyone actually makes the way she’s acting counter-intuitive to the way she’s judging other people. If she were to judge herself objectively, where would she fall on her own scale? The way she masquerades sort of consideration for other people that makes her appear vulnerable, when really the whole cycle is just allowing her to create a world of her choosing and hand down punishments as she sees fit. And that? Is not cool, at all. It’s almost as jerky as anything Randy did, if you think about it.

Well, except for that one part when he was racist.

Tribal Council. Jeff asks Bob how he feels knowing that he’s a huge threat and he has no immunity. He wants to know what Bob did to try and save himself, and the answer is “nothing much”. Talkative! Looking forward to the reunion. Jeff asks everyone individually what they are basing their vote on, since there are really only two options for everyone (except Susie, who has three). Matty says that since Sugar gave him the immunity idol and saved him, he owes her and thus his options are limited, since his only other choice is to vote for Bob. Bob talks about how he’s probably better off going with Sugar and Susie to the end because Matty is so well liked. Sugar says that she’d lose to both Bob and Matty, and then she starts crying about how they’re like family and how Bob is like her father and Matty is like her brother, and pretty soon Bob is crying, and it’s sort of gross and unnecessary, to be honest. While I appreciate that she’s going through a very emotional period in her life, I’ve reached my threshold of crying for this season. Oh, I feel so bad that she has to make this decision and come ever closer to the million dollar prize! If you’re so concerned about the well being of your “brother” and “father”, why don’t you ask everyone to vote for you, Sugar? What she’s saying by making the choice she’s about to make is “I consider both of you to be family, which is why I’ve decided to make the two of you face off in a duel to the death.” How does that make sense?

Like I’ve said about other contestants in the past, you can either be the person who ruthlessly eliminates people on their way to the millon dollar prize, or you can choose the other path, which is to play honestly and establish a precedent based on what you deem to be “good” and “evil”. You can’t be both, no matter how hard you try, because that makes you a hypocrite. I think you know where I’m going here.

Awwww….Wait. Don’t care.

Time to vote. Matty votes for “Runaround Bob” and gives him a lot of respect. Where did that nickname come from? I need background. Bob votes for Matty, and then Sugar votes while making a variety of torn and emotional faces, and all of a sudden I realize that she is very annoying to me. I don’t think I’ve ever gone from positive to negative on a contestant so quickly. When did this happen?

Of course, the vote is a stupid tie, and Matty and Bob will now be facing off in a fire making challenge. I’m sorry, but Sugar is ridiculous. Sugar is all “Dance, monkeys!” and people just go along, time and time again. It’s honestly the most selfish thing she can do, to make everyone else do all this stuff as a result of her every whim. If you think about it, this is just Randy and the fake idol, with different players in the roles.

Sigh.

So anyway, Matty and Bob start making fire. Matty can’t get a flame going because this is a situation involving pressure, and we all know how he rolls. Bob’s fire goes out, and then when he brings it back it builds and builds until Matty just sort of stops trying and watches, helpless, knowing he’s going home.

Matty hugs everyone and exits. I really can’t believe this. I don’t think Sugar realized that she probably had a legitimate shot at winning, but she honestly deserves to get steamrolled by Bob. It’s very fitting that the thing that’s guided her the whole game is the thing that will keep her from winning. It’s a small comfort.

Matty says he’s learned more about himself and about life than he ever has in his confessional. It’s a nice exit for him. I’ve given him a lot of crap for being sort of a jackass, but he seems like a genuine guy, and he gets a solid exit. Sorry Sugar did that to you, man.

Morning. Day 39. Your final three mark off Day 39 on the tree, and then they count them off together, which is ridiculous. Survivor: Sesame Street! Susie talks about how insane it is that she’s still there on Day 39. That appears to be her whole personality now. “Hey, I’m here!”

At the treemail box the standard feast is waiting for them. They enjoy a little brunch, which actually looks pretty damn tasty. Sugar tells us that, save for Marcus, she had something to do with the ousting of everyone. She really just screwed herself with this Bob thing, to a severe extent, I think. We’ll never know, but I think she had a really good shot at the money.

Bob tells us that he’s building his “last final gadget”, which is that they’re going to set the hut on fire. How is that a gadget? Is arson a gadget? I’m confused. Bob sets the hut on fire and they stand and watch it burn, and then they leave for the final Tribal Council while camp burns to the ground. That seems like a fire hazard, to me. You can tell when production ended by checking when the headline in the Gabon Times was “MASSIVE BLAZE LAYS WASTE TO COUNTRYSIDE” and right below it is a composite sketch of an old man in a bow tie.

“Now that we’ve raped the countryside, let’s do this thing!”

We get a little preview from some of the jury members while they walk slowly toward their doom. Kenny says he’s thinks Sugar controlled the game, and his goal is to get Bob to admit that he lied. He didn’t lie so much as change the rules in a manner that you didn’t find fair. Randy says that he dislikes all of them (Even Bob? What reason does he have to dislike Bob?). Well, except maybe Sugar, he says, who might be able to change his opinion. Wait, so the one who embarrassed you the most is the one you hate the least? I say again: lobotomy. Corinne is all “This is a chance for me to be me, ” meaning that she’s going to be really mean because that’s sort of all she has. So, after those shining sentiments, who’s looking forward to this? I sure am!

Final Tribal Council. The jury files in, complete with Matty who’s now sporting some man-pris. In Susie’s opening statement, she says that she feels she deserves the money because she tried. Seriously, that’s it. “Give it to me because I tried!” I am wowed! WHERE DO I SIGN THE CHECK?

“Have I mentioned that I try? Because I try. I really do. TRY!”

Bob talks about how he played “with gusto” and that his strategy was to use his survival skills to make their lives better. He doesn’t think he outwitted them or outplayed them (mostly because he didn’t, so this is a wise move), but he happens to have outlasted them, and thus would appreciate a vote. So, Bob’s argument is “Hey, didn’t you like it when I made that grill that one time?”

Sugar addresses the jury, stating she’s sitting in the finals because “she played a perfect social game” which couldn’t be farther from the truth, because that would require everyone not to hate you. Either way, shut up, Corinne’s face.

Sugar continues, saying that she’s really sorry that she “had to sacrifice some innocents”, and her voice comes across very cynically, as if she knows she’s over it and has no shot at winning, which is not the way to go into this. If you’re just going to sit there and be aloof, why not give the spot to Matty? Sugar continues, talking about how she’s been “a free agent” throughout the whole game, which is also not true, because betraying all the people that consider you an ally does not make you a free agent. Says she never made an alliance until she made an alliance with Bob, which is also not true, because she said one episode ago the words “I have an alliance with Crystal and Kenny.” Do you see the cognitive dissonance that’s she’s been working to legitimize everything she’s done in the name of karma? I know I’m being really harsh regarding Sugar, and I have a feeling that she’s a really nice person who would be really fun to drink with. It’s just that the strong moral compass that likely makes her a really loyal friend, an admirable person, and a good family member makes her completely unbearable in this very specific situation.

Jury questions. Charlie is up first. His question is for Sugar and Susie. He talks about how they were both rated right at the bottom way back in that episode where everyone got ranked. Why should Charlie vote for them at the top now? You will be shocked to hear that Susie would like Charlie’s vote because she tried. I know!

Sugar is like “Well, I don’t necessarily think you have to vote for me, but it would be nice.” Way to make an effort. I realize that some of these people have probably already figured out who they’re going to vote for long before they’ve arrived at this Tribal Council, but Charlie, who seems like of the more rational people this season, probably would have let her answer affect his decision had she, you know, actually tried. You’re going to do everything you’ve done, for this? Come on, Sugar.

Charlie is trying to send Bob into gay spasms by asking whether he enjoyed their spooning a little more then he lets on. Bob, unaffected: “Yeah, it was great! Any way I can get warm.” Is there a bowtie code like that thing with the bandanas where yellow means you like water sports and whatnot? Because that would be awesome.

Crystal’s turn. Crystal calls Susie a coattail rider, despite the fact that getting Susie to change her vote and get rid of Marcus was instrumental to Crystal’s success. What she tells Bob next is too awesome not to reiterate verbatim: “Sugar remote controlled you like a race car up and down Gabon. I want you to tell me something that you thought of that Sugar did not remote control you to do!” Aside from using the word “remote control” as a verb, which is phenomenal in and of itself, it’s a totally Crystal thing to do to invent a metaphor about being controlled that has the actual word control in it. Deep!

Bob responds by admitting that he was basically riding coattails strategically. “Honestly, I didn’t need to do anything other than that to get where I’m sitting.” Well, at least he knows how he got there. Crystal next addresses Sugar, talking about how they’d been aligned since Day 10, and they even did “booger checks” (awkward!), so she wants to know why Sugar turned on her and voted her out. “Honestly, it was because of the way you treated people, Crystal,” Sugar says. Crystal’s exit was definitely deserved, but I’ve had so much of this kind of judgment from Sugar that even this statement is now too much for me.

Kenny is next, and asks Susie why she deserves his vote. Guess what? She tried! He tells Sugar that she was the first girl he could really trust, and she backstabbed him, which gets her to cry just like he’d hoped. It’s like he’s Julie Chen and she’s Amber! Remember when she kept trying to get Amber to cry during every live show? Man, that was awesome.

She tells Kenny the truth, which is that she had an alliance with Matty and Bob, and thought Kenny was a bigger threat than Susie. Kenny tells Sugar that he doesn’t believe her, because he knows that Sugar has projected some sort of evil or good upon everyone at this point. Kenny asks Bob what we all know he’s going to ask, which is some bullshit question about their deal. Bob tells him the same thing he said before, which is that he intended to honor the deal, but that bets were off when he figured out that Kenny was coming to get him. “That was not what I wanted to hear from you Bob.” Kenny says. What did he want to hear? I’m not sure what the point of that was.

Oh, Corinne.

“Susie, if you say yes to this question, I will give you my million dollar vote: If you get the money, will you agree to have your vocal cords removed?” There is general cracking up, since everyone’s been annoyed by Susie’s talking at some point. Instead of saying yes like she should just to get the vote (and because it’s really the only appropriate response, since Corinne is never going to vote for her anyway) Susie says no. Corinne tries to get Bob to be mean to Sugar, and it only works a little when Bob whines some more about how Sugar acted after they tricked Randy, even though he was totally complicit in that.

And now it’s time for what I’m sure you’re all here to discuss (well, other than to bitch at me for the things I’ve said about Sugar). “Sugar, you are an unemployed, uneducated leech on society, and the only thing I would vote to give you is a handful of antidepressants so that no one else has to be subjected to your constant crying anymore. And then maybe if you got some, than it would seem a little more sincere when you are crying about your dead father“. Sugar very rightfully gives Corinne the middle finger, because you just don’t talk about that kind of thing, no matter how much you hate someone, because it is over the line, and it doesn’t deserve any more webspace. Moving on!

Marcus. He calls Susie out for giving up on her obligation to be a positive role model because it’s “just a game”. Wow, even his fiery invective is boring. After verifying with Sugar that her father is, in fact, dead, he tells Sugar that they have something in common since he’s also lost someone. He asks her whether she would use some of the prize money to honor the memory of her father. What is she going to say to that, no?

Marcus wants one example from Bob of when he made an active choice to vote someone out. Bob tells Marcus that “the occasion didn’t come up”, mostly because it didn’t. “You guys seemed to be doing a fine job making those choices, so I didn’t bother,” he says succinctly. There are several times when he made his own decisions: he gave the fake idol to Sugar to try and save his own ass, or the second idol story about Marcus himself that he tried to pull off. If you’re wondering why Susie came as close as she did to winning, you can look at Bob’s terrible performance during this and several other questions, since each vote for Susie was a tiny “eff this” to this entire group of people.

Randy. He asks Susie why she said she felt sorry for him that one time. “I’d like for you to elaborate on that for me,” he says, “and if you don’t know what elaborate means, it means tell me a little bit more.” So, he just sort of answered his own question by being a condescending jerk, then. Susie actually has an awesome response to this one: “Well, the way you respond to people makes me think that you’re not a happy person, which makes me feel sorry for you. I wish I knew a way that I could help you,” What an honest answer that was. Susie hasn’t gotten a lot of shining moments this season, but I thought that was nice.

“Did I just get faced by someone invisible?”

Randy moves on to Sugar. “Why did you laugh at me when I was voted out? Did you not even consider the fact that I had a vote? Why would you try to make a jack-ass out of me?” Sugar, earning back some of the many, many points she’s lost during this episode: “I don’t think I needed to do that, I think you did that yourself.” Randy asks Bob why he participated in the whole fake idol debacle. Bob tries to tell Randy that it was strategic in that he was trying to endear himself to Sugar (which is actually what got him this far) but Randy interrupts him. “That’s all? Are you really going to make me vote for Susie?” he says. Remember how I said that a vote for Susie is a vote for “eff this”? Exhibit A, homies.

Matty. He asks Susie why the other two people are less deserving than she is. She doesn’t really have an answer to that question, because “I tried” is the only thing she’s really prepared, and it doesn’t quite work in this situation. She tells Matty that Sugar was rude to Randy and that Bob was a jerk earlier about her immunity win, and that’s pretty much all she’s got. You’d think that, having seen this show before and with a million dollars on the line, that there would be certain questions to which you would create a pre-chosen answer. This would be one of those questions.

Matty has latched onto Sugar’s whole morality hang-up, so he wants Sugar to face the fact that she’s a hypocrite and admit to something she’s done that could be construed as “evil”. Because it just recently happened, Sugar apologizes for letting Kenny down (oh, and she cries). Matty’s a little shocked, because he wants an apology. He asks Bob why the other two finalists are more deserving than he is, and Bob’s response? “Um, I don’t think they are.” Awesome response, and one I can’t believe no one has used before when asked this question. Also pretty much what you would expect from Bob.

Finally, we are done and it’s time to vote. That has to be, without a doubt, the worst performance in a by a final three in the history of this show. Did any of them say anything of worth or make any sort of convincing argument for giving them the million dollars?

We get to see Matty cast a vote for Susie. “We were friends the whole way through the game,” he says, because why the hell not, right? Corinne votes for Bob. “I’m not sure how you survive the real world,” she says . Randy votes, and pulls a Crystal by yelling “All three of you KISS MY ASS!” Kenny seems to have some trouble and paces for a while before casting his vote.

With that, Jeff heads away from the Tribal Council and leaves them alone. I always imagine them sitting around awkwardly and collectively going, “Um…so can anyone give me a ride home?”

And now we’re in Hollywood, ready to announce the results. Of course, Sugar is dressed like it’s 1930, and she looks gorgeous even if the whole motif is mildly annoying. Bob and Susie look pretty much the same, except cleaner.

Jeff gets right down to business. The first vote for Bob (massive cheers), the second is for Susie (moderate applause), and then pretty soon Susie has two more and it’s 3-1. For a moment I am afraid that a lot of people just went “whatever, these people all suck” and cast an existential vote for Susie. I actually thought it would be kind of awesome if she won, because she’s exactly the kind of winner this season deserves, which is to say that these people are mostly so spiteful that one final act of malice is pretty much what you would expect.

But, it is not to be. Bob gets three more votes and wins, and there he is, off hugging his family. He should really be hugging Sugar, because she pretty much wrote him the check.

So there it is, people. I’ll be back for a reunion recap later this week. It’s pretty much the best winner we could have asked for this season (well, except maybe Kenny), so, um…yay? I guess? When’s Brazil?

Comments (51)
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About Schoonie

Like most people in America, Schoonie watches entirely too much reality television. Unlike most people, Schoonie gets to share his opinions with the world, which is pretty rad. Currently living in Chicago, Schoonie's been with Tvgasm since 2006. He spends his free time writing Survivor fan fiction (Letters to Penthouse, all featuring Rupert!) , playing with his cover band, and playing with his other cover band. Also, this one time, Lisi fell.

51 Comments

1

pixielated

Posted December 16, 2008 at 11:50 pm

I think a lot of what you said about Sugar is valid, Schoon, but I have a soft spot for her because she was instrumental in voting some of the most annoying people out. The first time she really went off the rails, IMO, was with the whole Matty situation.

It didn’t make any difference to the final result because this group was so spiteful that there is no way that she could have won.

Susie was the only one that didn’t majorly screw Randy, but he disliked her because she gave him grief over the cookies? I guess it makes sense to him.
2

pixielated

Posted December 16, 2008 at 11:53 pm

Oh, I forgot:

I think Sugar got a little carried away because it was so easy for her to manipulate the other players. The power kind of went to her head.
3

itchy

Posted December 17, 2008 at 1:08 am

What I really enjoy about your recaps is that you give me a whole different angle for viewing this show. I love your take on Corinne — I do believe you hit the nail on the head there.

My take on Sugar is a kind of literary: I think it became pretty clear that she came to Survivor on a Great Quest — as in epic mythology– a cleansing…

Her system of developing a moral hierarchy among the other contestants represented steps along the quest — sort of a Hercules’ 12 tasks thing. So the others were no longer people so much as part of the symbolic path through Sugar’s inner conflict.

And because much of epic mythology involves the hero being propelled and compelled by forces beyond their control, it makes sense that Sugar’s own ‘strategy’ appeared so random at times.

But the ultimate goal of her Quest obviously was to Find the Father She Had Lost…and that was why she HAD to give the win to Bob and why ultimately all of her moves were designed –calculatingly, not emotionally–toward that end.

Perhaps the primary motivation for her Quest was that she felt she had a debt to pay to her own father — hard to know (that’s her personal issue), and perhaps she herself does not know. Which of course would fit in with the whole Quest idea, since often enough the whole point of the Quest is to FIND the reason behind the Quest.

But it would have caused too much psychic trauma for her to win Survivor, that much is certain. And it would have been impossible for her to orchestrate Bob’s elimination –obviously, it would have meant killing her father a second time.

Instead, she ‘cured’ her father, helped him ‘stay alive’ and in the end ‘conquer’ the threat to his survival.

Which is part of what made this season so awesom and why Sugar really played the lead role –and an excellent job of that too.

I can’t recall any other Survivor season that had a similarly literary sub-text of such well orchestrated magnitude. Kudos to the editors!

Your understanding of Corinne actually fits in with my ‘epic’ reading of Sugar’s performance — because Corinne represents the evil side of her, and judging from the Ponderosa videos, appeared to have a similar hold on the other characters as Sugar did –and was certainly a major reason why Sugar would never get any votes from the jury.

I didn’t know Sugar was an actress while watching the season — now that I know this, her performance makes even more sense. I really do wish her well in her career — and winning Survivor definitely would have made a true acting career more difficult, if not impossible.

I do go on, don’t I? Ooooops!
4

slutty_whore

Posted December 17, 2008 at 5:35 am

I don’t even know where to begin with Sugar, other than to say that where she really went wrong was voting off Crystal, thus alienating every alliance that was on the jury. If she wasn’t playing to win, why even bother? Survivor isn’t some mythic quest, it’s a damn game show and “good” and “evil” really don’t apply. Sugar got caught up in her twisted logic and couldn’t see how it was affecting her game. And, in that way, I can’t blame Bob for letting her hang herself, which would have been a better answer to Crystal’s question than crickets chirping.

In terms of Sugar being a “good” person, I would tend to disagree, because “good” people don’t turn on their alliances (Ace, K/C, Matty) in an effort to let someone else win. I really think that had Susie won, it would have been more of an “F-U” to Sugar than that Susie deserved the victory.

But it’s clear that Sugar is an idiot when it comes to the actual game. At 4, you vote out the person with the most alliance members on the jury so that the jury is forced to pick you, even if they don’t want to or have no respect for your game. Or, you carry the most hated person to the end, which would have been Crystal, but she had already been voted out. Winners such as Vecepia, Sandra, and even Fiji’s Earl have won that way!

I just feel that it was a sub-par ending to a sub-par season, although the second half picked up steam once the Marcus vote happened. I also think that if Sugar didn’t have the idol, she would have been targeted by both alliances since she couldn’t be trusted to see past her emotions.

Corinne was very low for what she said. She shouldn’t have brought up the father, what she could have said was, ” I hate you and your game. You haven’t gotten any votes so far and you won’t get any tonight.”
5

Snootchy Bootches

Posted December 17, 2008 at 6:15 am

I think Corrinne is a soulless, heartless, selfish, pitiful excuse for a human being. I think that she proudly displayed her nastiness because she knew it would get her more airtime both on the season and on compilation dvds. It makes me sick that she gets rewarded for being such a skank bitch.

I loved your description of Sugar and I think it was spot on, Schoonie. I also think Itchy made some excellent points about her not allowing her father to die a second time. But I don’t think it was a conscious effort.

Great season, Schoonie! So the next season starts on Feb 12. You are going to be recapping, right?
6

timberwolf

Posted December 17, 2008 at 6:16 am

After Schoon’s and itchy’s comments, I almost thought you were both going to assign homework for Advanced Sugar Philosophical Studies and Analysis 101. Just bustin’ on you. My analysis of Sugar is that she was hot so it was great having her on the show. Contrarily, Corinne is such a black-hearted void of a person, any possible hotness she might actually have physically loses its mojo. It’s like the chick at the community pool with the awesome body, but a huge hairy mole on her chin. You’d like to admire the body, but you can’t take your eyes off the mole. She has a huge hairy mole on her face called her personality. That out of the way, I agree with you both that it wasn’t even about winning at the end for Sugar, and hence it would have really been cool if she hadn’t wasted the opportunity when 7 other people would have cut off a toe to replace her.

You gotta admit (I don’t know if it was just a really good bit of editing on the show’s part or not), but Suzie was making me embarrassed on her behalf when she WOULDN’T. SHUT. HER. FAT. MOUTH about winning the immunity. It’s like those people who go on a reward challenge and then come back to the starving remainder and go on for hours on how tasty the food was and how wonderful it is to be CLEAN!

Good season recaps Schoon. Look forward to reading next season.
7

LisaMay

Posted December 17, 2008 at 7:01 am

I agree with Timberwolf about Schoon’s and Itchy’s comments regarding Sugar.
I also never really understood why Bob did the fake idol job on Randy, because it wasn’t necessary to save himself, but after hearing Bob’s answer to Randy about how it was to endear Sugar to him, now I understand because his alliance was outnumbered at that point.
Kenny surprised me at the jury question tribal council. He just made himself look more ridiculous by saying he didn’t believe Sugar’s response and that Bob didn’t say what he wanted to hear. And he had done so well throughout the game up until the last three episodes.
And when Jeff asked Bob how he got to the end (at the reunion show) Bob should have said, “Sugar”!!
I hope this season goes down in history as the season with the most spiteful people ever.
8

slutty_whore

Posted December 17, 2008 at 7:21 am

Lisa, I can understand why Kenny would disbelieve Sugar in that moment. It had only been a day since his ouster and he was a little bitter about it and it was Sugar’s fault. Then, at Final TC, she is crying and acting regretful (which she may or may not be), but Kenny could also be trying to make her feel more & more guilty for her decision.

I am drawing this distinction between Kenny and Sugar: Kenny lied and cheated to those outside his alliance, but never turned on his alliance and wanted to get to the end with Crystal and Sugar. Sugar had no plan and her pathology and daddy issues killed her game.

IMHO, Sugar’s thoroughline this entire season was to turn on her alliance whenever she felt. OK, Kenny lied about Ace, but it was still Sugar’s decision to turn on him, ultimately. She turned on K/C, because Crystal was “bullying” Matty, (whatever!), and she turned on Matty by telling Bob that she was going to force a tie whereas she didn’t tell Matty.

If she didn’t want to win, fine, but you at least make an effort, however half-assed. Suzie gave it the old college try, and even Bob did in spots. You knew that they WANTED the win, and, that is why they got the votes.

I think that’s why I’m ultimately disillusioned by Sugar…. she played so well in an effort not to win.
9

DP Hooker

Posted December 17, 2008 at 7:47 am

Matty looked like a female dancer at the final Tribal Council. Wow thanks for the sneak peek at the pecs.
10

itchy

Posted December 17, 2008 at 8:05 am

Timberwolf: I agree with cogent analysis of Sugar! Well put, sir!

Slutty_whore (love that name!): to me, a game show is something like Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune. But this type of reality-competition shows has the potential for becoming so much more. And I really think that this season of Survivor really reached that potential.

I’m not sure the editors were aware of what they were constructing. I’d like to think they were though (possibly with Sugar’s collusion).

Which is not to say I don’t also watch it in the first degree. And I do believe Sugar has the right to play the game the way she wanted to — her eye was on a different prize, that’s all (i.e., exposure as an actress not as a Homeric figure). And if her gameplay was to ensure Bob’s victory, that’s her choice.
11

J-Mo

Posted December 17, 2008 at 9:35 am

Bob is wearing a red bow-tie.

In the gay hanky-code, this would mean that he is into fist-fucking.

Just thought I would pass that along.

love, J-Mo
12

pixi-stix

Posted December 17, 2008 at 9:59 am

I lost my father just this past June. I’m not exactly sure how old Sugar is, but we are probably around the same age (I’m 28). Yes we are adults, but it’s still way too young of an age to lose a parent unexpectedly. I too have times where the littlest thing can make me cry. Everyday it gets a little easier not to, but I think we have to excuse her tears on the show. She came on right after he passed. My father passed 6 months ago and I’m still a mess at times. I honestly think she was genuine in her feelings towards Bob, and whoever said it’s “daddy-issues” above is fucking heartless.

As for Corrine: she can just die. If you read her interview at Reality Blurred she actually admits to knowing some of the pills she sold as a pharm rep would kill people. She will probably do Playboy or Hustler and then fade away (hopefully).
13

slutty_whore

Posted December 17, 2008 at 10:15 am

Apparently, Pixi_Stix, you’re referring to me with your “fucking heartless” comment.

Clearly, Sugar has issues surrounding her father’s death, her sister brought ashes to Gabon for chrissakes! My problem is that if she came for the “experience,” she could have exited the game at any given point, or sacrificed herself in exchange for Matty to be a vote for Bob in the jury. And, if she sacrificed the money for career exposure, how is she really any better than Corinne for trying to extend her 15 minutes of fame?

It may be packaged better than Corinne’s, but there is a level of hypocritical disingenuousness that the jury realized about Sugar and chose not to vote for her.
14

snootchy bootches

Posted December 17, 2008 at 10:17 am

Erm, pixi-stix… Sugar HERSELF said that she knew that she was seeing Bob as a father figure partly because she was still grieving for her father’s death. So back the fuck off before calling anyone “fucking heartless.” Well, except Corrinne.
15

cattyfan

Posted December 17, 2008 at 10:49 am

pixi-stix posted:

“I lost my father just this past June. I’m not exactly sure how old Sugar is, but we are probably around the same age (I’m 28). Yes we are adults, but it’s still way too young of an age to lose a parent unexpectedly. I too have times where the littlest thing can make me cry. Everyday it gets a little easier not to, but I think we have to excuse her tears on the show. She came on right after he passed. My father passed 6 months ago and I’m still a mess at times.”

Ditto. I’m older than you (42) and my dad died unexpectedly April 5th. Stupid things make me cry, and usually at inappropriate or especially embarrassing moments. I can’t imagine going off to a foreign country with a bunch of very bitter, nasty strangers and having to A.) starve and B.) strategize while starving, and at the same time dealing with such fresh grief.

As for Sugar, I believe while her emotions may have been difficult for some to understand, she’s been judged too harshly for them. I don’t believe, however, that she WANTED to win the game. She is a working actress (as opposed to an unemployed actress,) and I think she was on the show for the exposure. She did what she needed to to maintain her position on the show and get maximum air-time…and it worked. She is one of the most popular conestants of all time (witness the prices on her signed items currently up for bid on e-bay.) She threw her support behind Bob because he provided a very needed father -figure at a vulnerable time in her life. But the benefit for her was just being on the show, and THAT will pay off for her in the long run.

Oh…and Randy is completely insane, not in a good way…and Corinne is a complete bitch, also not in a good way. Loved how Probst handled them in the reunion show.
16

itchy

Posted December 17, 2008 at 11:00 am

I still think the jury refused to vote for Sugar out of sour grapes — it had nothing to do with her personality, nothing to do with the fact that she may have spent much of the season weeping.

They were clearly pissed off that she outplayed the hell out of them — really she made everyone look like fools but the so-called ‘smart kids’ came off looking like outright idiots next to her– and they knew this. No doubt she threw the IQ test too.

I can’t relate to how it might feel losing a parent like that, so I can’t judge. It certainly didn’t gain Sugar any points with me, any more than the obvious wounds in Randy or Corinne’s backgrounds made me feeling more or less for them either.

I was watching their gameplay — and the fact is they ALL sucked. Kenny was the only exception to the overall suckage of all of these player. But he fucked up at the end and let it go to his head.

And regardless, his true mistake came earlier on when he lied to Sugar — he fucked with the wrong gal, she didn’t let it go and she outgunned him –and everyone else–in the end.

And if nothing else, Sugar at least appeared to be true to HERSELF the entire time — perhaps that is part of her definition of ‘good’ and ‘no good’.

It was HER game the whole way. Which was really glorious to watch. Especially considering that she’d spent a third of the time away from everyone else.
17

sowhat1234

Posted December 17, 2008 at 11:43 am

Look,

I am very sorry for all of you who lost your fathers…but I seriously do not believe that Sugar let Bob win for her father; or, that any of this was this transposition or quest in honour of her father.

She outplayed these people on the basis of “good and evil” period. If this whole father-figure theory holds, she should have played for Bob when they first merged into the “nobag” tribe or she would have allied herself with Bob right within the merge.

I understand what all of you are doing; but, quite frankly, depending on the relationship she had with her father, she was not going to throw millions away because of this father figure theory.

I agree with Schoonie. She held everyone to this weird standard and fucked her game up by doing so. Not because of her father; simply because of her own standards. I think we’re dwelling too much on something we cannot proove.
18

pretty good year

Posted December 17, 2008 at 11:43 am

I love how after seventeen seasons we still get new and interesting kinds of players. I don’t think we’ve ever seen someone who played equal parts emotionally and brilliantly as Sugar.

It’s like a few seasons ago when Dreamz was a finalist. I was thinking, “How did this giant spaz make it to the finals?” We hadn’t ever seen someone so detached from reality on the show, and the prospect of what someone like that could do in the game of Survivor was effing scary. Luckily, there were smarter players like Earl and Cassandra to lead him by the hand.

This season, Sugar was basically the same person, just strategically smarter and more eloquent. I also agree with your theory about her moral judgments, but I think there’s an added element. Sugar’s an actress, and she probably has a very media-oriented mind. She has said in post-show interviews, she didn’t exactly play for herself. She played for what she thought would make a better story for TV.

Hence come her judgments about “good” and “evil,” since she essentially wanted the “good guys” like Bob to win for the sake of the audience, and she got to be the one to make that happen. She’s essentially a control-freak.

And I can’t fault Susie for giving a lame performance. She’s a mom from Iowa who works two jobs. She probably was surprised that she didn’t get voted out first anyway, and when she decided she wanted to go to the finals at the Marcus boot, she probably didn’t think she’d have a shot of winning, so settling for third was good enough for her. You can tell she was shocked that she got three votes, and she looked good in her Sarah Palin glasses.

Oh, and the whole jury pretty much sucked, but Marcus gave an Alex-level performance, saying Susie wasn’t a “good role model” because she voted him out when she happens to be a mother and assistant teacher. He probably forgot that he had voted for her in the previous round, but I guess you don’t have to be a good role model if you’ve never had kids?
19

sowhat1234

Posted December 17, 2008 at 11:49 am

If you all need to analyse someone, I would analyse Corinne or Randy…

Or maybe not, its quite clear that these two are clearly emotionally weak…much like Sugar
20

frenchy

Posted December 17, 2008 at 12:03 pm

I think the reason Sugar had so many fans among the viewers is that many of us have lost a close family member and can understand what she was going through. I lost my Dad when I was 30, and it’s not something you just turn off so you can play an effective game of Survivor for 39 days. Sometimes you can’t get through a game of basketball.

I imagine it was mighty tough to be out there with so many folks who obviously were bothered by her “issues”, and that probably didn’t do anything to improve her emotional state. And yes, the “daddy issues” term is ridiculous (maybe not heartless)…does being unhappy that your father died qualify as an issue? Or does it become an issue once you cry about it? Seriously, come on…

All that said, when Corinne went on that rant at the final TC I was not just disgusted, but uncomfortable as well. I’ve been trying to think of a time that I’ve witnessed something that vile and mean-spirited on a show that was supposed to be entertaining and I just can’t. I hope that doesn’t become a trend, because it’s sure as hell not something I’m interested in seeing any more of.

And great recaps, Schoonie…I really dig how you analyze these things like a football game. Even when I don’t agree with your point of view I’m entertained by it.
21

slutty_whore

Posted December 17, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Frenchy, it DOES become an issue if/when it has a negative impact on the goal at hand. The question is what was her goal? Now, as a viewer who has LIKED Sugar, I was completely disappointed by the finale. Her endgame flat out sucked, and it was all in an effort to build a career afterward. After seeing her make brilliant strategic move after brilliant strategic move, it was frustrating to watch her settle for third place for the sake of a career which may/may not happen.

Sugar creates an avatar of sweet kindness to advance her 15 minutes of fame post-Survivor. People have condemned Corinne because she created a “bitch” avatar to advance her post-Survivor celebrity. There’s really no difference between the two; they’re flip sides of the same coin.
22

suckitbitches

Posted December 17, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Whew…enough about Sugar, that stuff wears me out! Wanted Kenny or Bob to win, so I’m happy Bob won.

Thanks for a great season of recaps!
23

2muchbravo

Posted December 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Whew! That was a lot of psych-stuff. I can’t speak for Sugar, but I lost my mom when I was 36 and was in a funk for a looong time afterwards. I can’t imagine being that young, in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strangers and no food on top of that. AND she was constantly being sent to Exile Island (was that the chicken or the egg??). That doesn’t totally excuse her behavior, but it’s a game people — OUTWIT, OUTPLAY, OUTLAST. Anywho, I’m glad Bob won. He played his ass off. He deserves it. (And he reminds me of an uber-outdoorsy Stewart Copeland).
24

itchy

Posted December 17, 2008 at 1:42 pm

“There’s really no difference between the two; they’re flip sides of the same coin.”

Exactly! So you’re starting to buy into my ‘epic quest’ theory?

Now, I don’t buy the idea that she tanked her endgame as part of her ‘audition’ –it would have made much more sense for her to have struggled earnestly and be denied. I think she was just drained by the end there, knew already that there was no hope, and was probably (should have been) disgusted by the injustice of it.
25

schoonie

Posted December 17, 2008 at 2:08 pm

It’s funny that you mention Dreamz, because I wrote an entire paragraph about all the similarities between Dreamz and Sugar and then erased it, because I was like “Man, I’m already so over the line here!”

I don’t think Sugar’s actions had anything to do with any sort of ‘audition’, honestly. That would mean that she took advantage of her father’s death in order to get some sort of professional attention, and I just don’t think that’s the case; I think those feelings were genuine.

I’m pretty sure this is just who she is, a person who assesses things and makes value-based decisions based on what she perceives to be good and bad. It’s a nice trait for daily life, but effing terrible for this game.

And I dig the whole ‘Hero’s Quest’ thing, which is an entirely different way to look at this. English majors, unite!

And yes, I’ll be recapping next season. I just can’t quit you people.
26

pretty good year

Posted December 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

I didn’t say that it was an audition for her, but the fact that she’s used to having people watching her, plus the fact that she’s in the business of telling stories through acting (and used that skill many times during the game), might have influenced how she judged people.

I think she knew Bob would be seen as the lovable old man, knew that Kenny would be seen as a schemer, knew that Crystal would be seen as a bully, etc. and so instead of making these moral judgments herself, I think she made them in light of a viewing audience. Not as an audition, but just as someone who knows TV and wants to tell a good story.
27

slutty_whore

Posted December 17, 2008 at 2:48 pm

Itchy…. I guess you GOT me!

Schoonie, if you QUIT us, there would be a revolt!
28

bambinoitaliano

Posted December 17, 2008 at 3:39 pm

The reality of it is , regardless of who Sugar ended up with in the final 3 she will not win. You can pick any 3 possibilities. When you have emotional cripple like Corinne and Randy as the juries. The only toss up is with Crystal. Still, whoever, the third finalist is will win the million dollar, be it Susie, Kenny, Matty or Bob.
29

itchy

Posted December 17, 2008 at 3:40 pm

I had a couple of other thoughts (in between thinking of other things):

1. Suppose Sugar’s whole thing was really all about subversion? Wouldn’t that be cool?

2. I think Suzie deserved to win more than Bob. Think about it: Bob had ZERO game–and he admitted it. He only survived with Sugar’s help and by winning those immunity challenges.

Now consider this: he’s 57 fucking years old and he won five immunity challenges. Which really only speaks to the utter lameness of the people he was competing against–and not really about his own skill (although knowing physics did indeed seem to be a suspiciously big factor in a lot of the challenges…hmm…perhaps he was getting help from production as well?)

Suzie was basically on her own and she knew it. She appeared to floating in the background, when in fact a couple of her choices were crucial to getting her to the finals–and she had the balls to stick it what appeared to be the strongest alliance. Not to mention two very crucial immunity challenges–one of which at least (house of cards) was designed for Bob to win.

Anyway…back to the Quest…dumble-dee dum-tum-tumbeldy-dum…
30

Snootchy Bootches

Posted December 17, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Cattyfan, in Sugar’s audition tape which they showed on the clip show, she said she was homeless and living in her car. Further, imdb only has only two jobs since 2005 and those were in 2007. She may be working, but she clearly isn’t doing very well. I should say *wasn’t* doing well because in August she married a guy who seems to work in film regularly after knowing him for 11 days. There was no mention of it on the reunion, so maybe they aren’t still together though.
31

Snootchy Bootches

Posted December 17, 2008 at 3:57 pm

Oh btw, on reality blurred they have some great interviews with the 4 runners up.
32

JustJesse

Posted December 17, 2008 at 4:35 pm

Hey Itchy,

Bob did win five challenges in a row but they weren’t all for immunity. Didn’t he win reward and immunity on the past two episodes and then the first immunity on this episode?
33

BlahBlah

Posted December 17, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Excellent recap, Schoon. I agree with you that Sugar is handing out karmic punishments based on her own morality scale, but I don’t think she’s a hypocrite for doing that. I believe we all judge others on some level, but we’re rarely put in a position to actively hand out these comeuppances. Unless you’re put in that same position and choose to act differently than Sugar, you really are just…judging Sugar for doing something you say you don’t like.

I think Sugar is very smart and makes choices based on emotion. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, as you imply. We have to remember that she was alone in the Sugar Shack for a long time, with nothing left to do but think, think, think. When she came back to the group, she had to figure out what’s going on using..what else? Her intuition and emotions. So she made judgments to get a sense of her environment and we can tell she didn’t want anyone “bad” to win, so she jumped in to make sure that people she dislikes DON’T win. It seems to me that was more important than making sure she wins herself. Which doesn’t make any sense to people like me who wouldn’t bother playing this game for anything but to win the money. But I have a feeling that Sugar signed up for this game as a distraction from feeling the grief of losing her father and to prove to herself that she’s a strong person, which she did. In that sense, she feels like she won.

And THAT’S why she helped Bob win..because he reminds her of her father – the reason why she’s playing the game in first place. She may feel (subconsciously) that her father “lost” by dying and making sure Bob “wins” is like helping her father “win”. It’s twisted logic, but makes sense if you don’t assume Sugar is motivated by the money.
34

cattyfan

Posted December 17, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Snootchy Bootches…thanks for the info.

Based on that, the “Sugar Shack” at Exile Island must have seemed like The Ritz.
35

BlahBlah

Posted December 17, 2008 at 5:41 pm

Oh and to answer your (rhetorical?) question about why Sugar would force the tie between Bob and Matty if they feel like her family…

Maybe because that’s her passive-aggressive way of not having to choose. She controls the situation so that FATE chooses instead of her. Even though by forcing the tie she basically chose Bob because Matty has a habit of choking on challenges.
36

BlahBlah

Posted December 17, 2008 at 5:50 pm

Still reading…

Sugar SAYS “only alliance is with Bob” but MEANS “only alliance of the HEART is with Bob”. Sugar obviously had it in her mind that Bob is the one who deserves to win and she made it so.

I was so wrong in my comment a couple episodes ago when I said that her speech to Bob about him having a “big piece of her heart” was total fakery. After the way Sugar played this game, I think that’s the only thing she truly meant. Bob reminded her of her father = Bob’s good and deserving of the $1mil = I will work my ass off to make sure he gets it = goes Sugar’s thinking.

My proof? Her complete lack of regret at the reunion when Bob’s name is called. She looks genuinely happy for him. And I think she’s smart enough to have come up with a better argument for her to win that jury over. But she so didn’t care about the money. Exhibit A = her rebellious answers to the jury’s questions. Exhibit B? The flip off to Corinne.
37

BlahBlah

Posted December 17, 2008 at 6:07 pm

Wow, Itchy!! I just finished reading your comment. EXCELLENT analysis of Sugar’s motivations!

I didn’t think of it in Quest terms, but I definitely feel that Sugar was orchestrating the whole thing and her goal was to get Bob to win. That father=Bob thing is too big of a deal to her for it to be anything else but the reason why she helped Bob win instead of her. She had three chances to put herself in the winner’s seat, and I believe she’s smart enough to recognize those. Hence, all of the crying. Hard choices to make.

Also, so. dead. on. about Corinne being the “evil” side of Sugar. They’re both extremely judgmental and excellently manipulative, but Sugar needed to destroy Corinne’s group of misfits.

This was so not about the money for Sugar. It really was about good vs. evil in her mind. That sunk in to me after she made the speech about Crystal’s behavior re: Matty. If Crystal hadn’t yelled at Matty, she would’ve made it farther than Matty.

I can’t remember if Sugar was originally on Kota or Fang with Bob, but notice how she stuck with Ace for the longest because he was “the strongest player” (= makeshift father figure), then cut him off once she met Bob? Hmm…
38

BlahBlah

Posted December 17, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Sluttywhore, I think you’re missing the point that Sugar’s motivations obviously weren’t to win this money. She proved that by her many “illogical” moves such as maneuvering Crystal and Kenny out, and saving the idol for that long only to give it to Matty (and not herself). She obviously thinks highly of Matty and that was her way of saying “you deserve to win, too”. Sugar seems to be frustrating those who only see this game as a way to win money.

There are different reasons people sign up for this show. Some want to prove they’re a “Survivor” of the wild (Bob), smarter than everyone else (Corinne), well-liked (Marcus), part of the cool crowd (Charlie), etc.

I think the reason why Charlie, Marcus, Corinne and Randy got along so well is because they came on this show to win a million dollars but really they want to be liked. They seemed more unhappy about the fact that people disliked them enough to vote them off than they did about losing the money. Charlie couldn’t wait to skip off to meet Marcus in Ponderosa. Ditto Randy and Corinne.

Susie wanted the million. Kenny wanted to play the game well. Sugar wanted to avenge her dead dad for some reason…like Itchy said, only she knows. If I go back and listen to her conversation between her sister, I could maybe figure it out. I know she was worried about him being proud of her. She could be proving to her dad that she knows how to do something well enough for him to be proud.
39

slutty_whore

Posted December 17, 2008 at 6:31 pm

Blah Blah, I see the point, and I understand that people “play” Survivor for different reasons, but I’ve just come to accept that Sugar would have deemed me “evil” and voted me out, had I been there.

And, with all the conversation about Sugar, I’m surprised no one mentioned the heavy handed foreshadowing… with Suzie talking about “how she really needed it” and then she actually won the last one.

And, I wonder if Sugar deemed Susie a bad person or would have forced a tie between Bob & Susie, since Susie won the fire challenge in the first immunity.

And, also, Susie should have lied to Corinne and said, “of course I will cut out my vocal chords for the vote.” LOL. I’m sure Corinne still would have voted for Bob, but still would have been funny since the vote came down 4 to 3.
40

schoonie

Posted December 17, 2008 at 8:18 pm

“I believe we all judge others on some level, but we’re rarely put in a position to actively hand out these comeuppances. Unless you’re put in that same position and choose to act differently than Sugar, you really are just…judging Sugar for doing something you say you don’t like.”

Of course I’m judging Sugar! That’s my job when I write these things. Also, it’s fun.

And yes, I totally think it makes you a hypocrite for taking someone out of the game for being sneaky and disloyal (Crystal, Kenny) by…being sneaky and disloyal. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

If you’re going to hand out punishments to people, you have to hold yourself to the same standard by which you’ve judged them, or it’s just an eye for an eye, which makes you no better than they are.

“I didn’t think of it in Quest terms, but I definitely feel that Sugar was orchestrating the whole thing and her goal was to get Bob to win.”

If you think Sugar was playing the entire game solely to create a Bob victory, I don’t think we were watching the same show. She maybe, MAYBE decided to take Bob to the end with her during the episode before the finale. So…six days. What about the rest of the time? She just wanted someone “nice” to win?

She thought Matty was a “good guy”, and like it or not, she did not treat him equally, or leave it up to “fate”. She told Bob what she was going to do, thus giving him an opportunity to practice. In fact, she LIED to Matty about where Bob was while he was practicing so that Matty would be blindsided when the tie came in. That doesn’t make it “FATE”, as you say, that makes it Sugar giving one person the advantage to the detriment of someone else.

And for the record, I think Sugar totally cared about the money. Everyone cares about the money. Anyone who tells you that they’re going on the show to “survive”, or “play well” or whatever is using those words as a euphamism for “I want to win the game”, or lying by saying it after they’ve already lost as an excuse.

I think she new she had no shot at the money, which is a completely different animal. She didn’t look at Bob and go “I want HIM to win the money”. The reasoning behind bringing Bob to the end was, “Well, if I MYSELF am not going to get the money, I like him the most, so I’d like him to have it. He is my second choice, after ME.” That’s completely different than trying to actively give someone else the win the entire time.

She knew the money was a lost cause by the time the final Tribal Council came around, which explains your Exhibit A, her “rebellious answers”. She’s jaded, because she knew she wasn’t going to win. She wasn’t actively advocating for Bob. There was no point at which she went “I think you should vote for Bob”. She just determined beforehand that no matter how hard she tried, she herself wasn’t going to win, so why bother? That’s completely different than actively working towards a Bob win, as you say.

As far as your Exhibit B, the middle finger is concerned, it’s not like she gave the finger to Corinne unsolicited. Corinne harassed her about her dead father, which certainly deserves a middle finger. If Corinne had simply said “Hey Sugar, why do you think you deserve the check?” that Sugar would have given her the finger anyway? That it was a premeditated middle finger?
41

JustJesse

Posted December 17, 2008 at 9:34 pm

“Maybe because that’s her passive-aggressive way of not having to choose. She controls the situation so that FATE chooses instead of her. Even though by forcing the tie she basically chose Bob because Matty has a habit of choking on challenges.”

How was this her way of not having to choose? She told Bob she was thinking about forcing a tie didn’t she? As Schoonie said, she lied to Matty about where Bob was when he was out practicing the fire making. If they both felt like such strong family members, why didn’t she tell Matty her plans as well, and give him a fair shot at it? I disagree whole-heartedly with your statement and think Schoonie’s comments regarding this situation hit the nail right on the head.

“I can’t remember if Sugar was originally on Kota or Fang with Bob, but notice how she stuck with Ace for the longest because he was “the strongest player” (= makeshift father figure), then cut him off once she met Bob? Hmm…”

I didn’t think she cut Ace off when she met Bob. Kenny lied to her when she came back from Exile Island, saying that Ace had been talking about getting rid of her. I didn’t even know if Bob and her were on the same tribe then, but I feel pretty safe in saying that they weren’t. Like Schoonie said, were you watching the same show as the rest of us?

And seriously, how can you say Sugar wasn’t playing for the money? Have you personally talked to her? I highly doubt it. Believe it or not, you are judging her, even though you seem to not like that Schoonie did. Just because you are doing it in a “different” way, doesn’t mean its not judging someone…
42

pixielated

Posted December 17, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Sugar got money for finishing third, didn’t she? They used to give money to the first five or six, I think.

I believe there are probably three main reasons that people play “Survivor”:

They want to win money

They want to win (competitive)

They want TV exposure

OK, maybe four:

They are adventurous (fun) or have something to prove (rite of passage)

Sugar does need exposure on TV since her career is on the downswing. She is getting a little old for her “type”–it’s hard to play cute rebel grrrls when you are pushing 30. There are a lot of cute grrrls in Hollywood who are 18. Most of her TV roles were playing teenagers, which is probably not feasible anymore. However, who has EVER gotten a decent acting career out of being on Survivor? A decent career as a “celebrity” or “famewhore,” maybe…
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is probably the most successful.

This is how I think Sugar made her decisions on who stayed and who left, because she seemed to be on the same page with me: get rid of whoever was the most annoying and jerky. She would get rid of them about the time I thought that I couldn’t stand them anymore. It fell apart at the end because the people left were not that bad.

Isn’t it true to form for her to marry someone she had known for 11 days? She seems like an impulsive person, and emotion-driven. Besides, people do crazy things after losing a parent. A friend of mine (early 30s) got back with her ex-boyfriend when her mom became terminally ill (her dad was already deceased). He was an alcoholic chain-smoker, and she was a Southern Baptist who couldn’t tolerate cigarette smoke. They got married and it was a big mess for her. I hope it works out better for Sugar, because I do like her.
43

itchy

Posted December 18, 2008 at 12:20 am

Well, my wife and I married after knowing each other for two weeks…so you can see where I stand on that one.

As for when Sugar decided to back Bob…I think it was a bit earlier than that: remember when Bob told her he had the fake idol? The only way he would have told her that was if they already had established some kind of trusting relationship…even if that was only Bob recognizing Sugar’s need for a father figure.

And really he was the only one available for her for that, once Ace was kicked out (although she would have seen through him sooner or later)– I agree that she stopped playing for the money only after she understood that she had little to no chance of winning.

And that moment was probably when they figured out that it was going to be a final 3 –which is the worst Survivor ‘innovation’ of them all (even worse that the hidden immunity idol and Exile Island).

Sugar knew who was on the jury. She knew from the moment they sent off Corinne that she didn’t stand a chance, since the numbers were now stacked against her. I also think she was deeply shocked at Suzie’s win in the last challenge.

Finally, it doesn’t bother me at all that she used some kind of personal moral compass to guide her decisions. In fact, I prefer that to a colder, more calculating approach.

But then, my relationships with people are similarly based– I accept people into my life on a gut level, and if my gut tells me you’re not an honest person, you’ll never get in.

And many of you are probably too young to know this… but there was a time when the value systems we were raised with really did not revolve around money and greed. No foolin’.
44

Snootchy Bootches

Posted December 18, 2008 at 4:19 am

Itchy, I married my wonderful loving husband after a short time as well, but it was brought on by practical concerns as well as romantic ones. We are very happily married lo these many years later. However, do you really see Sugar making that sort of decision? Or do you see her just being impulsive based on the emotion of the moment? As I said earlier, I am surprised that they didnt mention her marriage during the reunion. That is the sort of thing that they usually do mention especially for the top folks. So, I’m thinking the marriage is already kaput. They married in August. Also, on reality blurred, Sugar said that she had gotten the best contract that Survivor had ever offered a contestant. Not sure what that means, but she was super happy about it. I guess we’ll see in February when the next season starts. Oooooh! Maybe she gets to turn the letters in the challenges like Vanna White!
45

itchy

Posted December 18, 2008 at 7:34 am

Well, I ought to point out that I make a clear distinction between Sugar the reality television show contestant and Jessica Kiper, the real person. There’s a huge difference there. The dichotomy is part of what I love about reality TV.

I don’t much care about what Jessica Kiper does in her personal (offscreen) life, frankly. But the character Sugar was awesome, I give her props for that.

Now, do I see the character Sugar getting into a real marriage that fast? Nooooo…but Sugar didn’t get married, Jessica Kiper did.

And those Hollywood types are always getting married at a drop of a hat. It’s kind of a tradition.
46

Memememe

Posted December 20, 2008 at 8:01 pm

I just can’t believe there’s all this discussion regarding a totally unimpressive cast & season. There were very unlikeable people this season. I, for one, truly didn’t care who won. If the nicest cast member they could paint is Sugar, and the rest of the cast hated her guts for being so manipulative, then there was truly no one in this whole season that was actually good hearted. Except maybe Bob? Maybe that’s the takeaway lesson. I dunno. I’m just glad it’s over with.
47

BlahBlah

Posted December 22, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Schoonie, I basically disagree with you on almost everything you wrote in your last comment directed at me, but for time’s sake I’ll just hit on the major points.

schoonie:

“Of course I’m judging Sugar! That’s my job when I write these things. Also, it’s fun.”

You’re a hypocrite for not liking Sugar for the reasons that you state that essentially amount to she’s too judgmental. You don’t like her because YOU THINK she won’t like you if you were ever to play this game (you won’t).

“If you think Sugar was playing the entire game solely to create a Bob victory, I don’t think we were watching the same show.”

We’re watching the same show, just not with the same pair of eyes and life experience.

“She just wanted someone “nice” to win?”

Obviously, Sugar came on there to win the money for herself, but we can tell from her choices towards the end that she wanted the people she liked at the end with her. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have orchestrated Ken and Crystal’s bootings. She had a much better chance of winning against those two than Susie or Bob. To ignore that she “screwed” her own chances with forethought is kinda stupid. Contrary to what you have implied in your recaps, Sugar acted both logically and emotionally. Those two aren’t mutually exclusive.

The middle finger point I made was to say that she had two choices re: the middle finger: to give Corinne a middle finger or not. The fact that she chose to give Corinne the middle finger says she wasn’t trying to win Corinne’s vote.

Your personal biases are overwhelming and diminish the humor of your recaps.
48

BlahBlah

Posted December 22, 2008 at 3:08 pm

BlahBlah: “Maybe because that’s her passive-aggressive way of not having to choose. She controls the situation so that FATE chooses instead of her. Even though by forcing the tie she basically chose Bob because Matty has a habit of choking on challenges.”

JustJesse:
“How was this her way of not having to choose? She told Bob she was thinking about forcing a tie didn’t she?”

Just Jesse, look up the definition of “Passive-Aggressive” and you’ll get my point. This was awhile ago, but if my memory is correct, there were four people left: Susie (with the immunity idol), Bob, Matty, and Sugar. Susie said she’s voting for Bob. If Sugar also voted for Bob, then she’s choosing Matty to stay. If Sugar voted for Matty, then she’s choosing to give Bob a chance to stay by forcing a tie. Forcing the tie is the passive-aggressive way of not being blamed for whomever loses because the winner will be on their own merit (during the fire challenge) rather than as a direct result of Sugar’s vote. It all amounts to the same thing: Sugar had a hand in the outcome, but one way is more direct than the other. Passive-aggressive is all about controlling the situation but INDIRECTLY.
49

schoonie

Posted December 22, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Don’t forget, I’m also ugly!
50

Snootchy Bootches

Posted December 23, 2008 at 6:13 am

And smells like cheese!

(Happy holidays, Schoonie)
51

flipit

Posted December 23, 2008 at 4:59 pm

personally, what i have always found diminishes the humor in schoonie’s recaps his his giant manhood. once you’ve seen it it’s hard to read.

merry christmas schoonie. another kick ass season. xo

Survivor: My Tears Make The Decisions Around Here

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