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Monday, December 7, 2009
8:02 pm
35 Comments
Tagged: schoonie
This week, on Survivor: Shambo really, seriously believes that she is an instrument of God. She’s like Tim Tebow, but with less crying! Okay, with more crying.Shambo celebrates her victory after the Laura boot. “Medusa has been dethroned. Isn’t that just hysterical?” Shambo says, forgetting that she also kind of sucks a lot. In fact, Shambo has more in common with Medusa than Laura does. What are you willing to wager that there are one or two snakes living in that mullet?
John defends his decision to flip and send Laura home, telling us that he’s not about to go home by drawing rocks. I’m pretty sure drawing rocks was the right move for him, because even though it puts him in (very little) immediate short term danger, it gives him the better shot at getting his team to the end, which is what he needs if he’s going to get any votes at all. Flipping only produces feelings of disloyalty, and only gets him one place further instead of (potentially) many places further. It’s a short term risk for long term gain, as it were.
Anyway, John has decided that his best strategic route is to trust Russell (ha!), thinking that Russ will live up to his promise to get rid of a Foa Foa at the next Tribal Council. Hey, I wonder how that will turn out for him?
On the morning of Day 28, Shambo and Russell go to check the treemail and find packets of money for everyone, which they know means that it’s time for the perennial Survivor auction. Shambo adds yet another reason for me to dislike her by telling us how hungry she is by using the word “literally” and pronouncing it “litrally”, as if she is a history teacher at a snooty liberal arts university. Oh, shove it up your canvas elbow patches, Professor Training Bra.
Reward Challenge! Er…Reward Auction! This year there is no pooling of money or sharing of food. The first item is a giant PB&J sandwich, which Natalie wins for 200 dollars. The next item is covered, and different people bid before Shambo ends up winning it for 240 dollars. Her prize? A giant bowl of sea slug guts (you may remember them from the gross smoothie competition), sprinkled with a little parmesan cheese. She tries not to look too embarrassed by taking a giant bite of them, but it is a giant fail on her part, and I took great pleasure in it. This week is all about crazy Shambo, by the way, and I will say this: I much prefer The Russell Show to The Shambo Show. The Shambo Show is worse than Jay Leno.
The next item is also covered, and a bidding war ensues, since people figure that Probst won’t put two terrible items in a row. Dave ends up winning it for 300 dollars, and it ends up being an entire roasted chicken, which is a pretty sweet prize. The next item is not food, but an advantage at the next immunity challenge. John and Jaison both want it, and once the bidding goes to 300 dollars, Jaison asks what happens if they both bid 500. When Probst replies that the first person to 500 wins the advantage, Jaison straight up bids all his money and takes the advantage for himself, which is the smartest thing the guy has done yet. Well, besides get rid of Racist Ben.
Jaison feels the pain of his decision immediately when Probst uncovers an absolutely giant hamburger and beer, which Mick immediately bids 500 on and takes. Jaison looks miserable and admits that he is having “second, third and fourth” decisions about taking the advantage. That burger does look mighty tasty. Next up is a clue to the hidden immunity idol, and Russell doesn’t even make a cursory attempt to bid on it, which should be a HUGE giveaway to anyone who’s paying any attention at all. John ends up winning the useless clue for 200 dollars. The next item is a shower, which goes to Natalie again for 120, and we get some cheesy porno music as we see her take the least sexy shower ever. Well, unless you have an ankle fetish, in which case this sequence is your 9 ½ Weeks.
The last item is a big slice of apple pie, which goes to John for his remaining 300 dollars. Before he digs in, however, Probst offers him a deal: he can take the one slice for himself, or he can give an entire pie away to four other people. He thinks for a minute before deciding to keep the slice for himself. “I’m pretty confident no one is going to vote me off because I wouldn’t give them any pie,” he says. He’s probably right: I mean, if he could give everyone pie that’s one thing, but making him pick four people and exclude others is only going to make things more difficult for him than they are.
With that, the immunity challenge is over, and everyone is sent back to camp with bellies full of hamburger and/or fish guts. John decides to look for the idol with his clue immediately. The clue pretty much tells him exactly where the idol is; it doesn’t even rhyme, it’s just like “Look by the mossy rock wall near the bottom”. I love how the producers have given up any pretense of making the idol thing a mystery at all. The Survivor Immunity Idol now poses a mental challenge equivalent to an episode of Blue’s Clues.
John looks for a while, including right in the spot where the idol used to, before declaring that Russell has probably already found it. John may lack some common sense, but he’s certainly not stupid.
Meanwhile, it has been decided that the time has come for the chickens to go to the great Chick-Fil-A in the sky. Shambo sulks over to the cage to say a melodramatic goodbye for the camera. “Bye bye chickens, I’ll see you in heaven when I get to heaven, okay?” Shambo thinks that chickens go to the same heaven that we do, you guys. This explains why depictions of the Grim Reaper in chicken folk tales always look a lot like Colonel Sanders.
“Those chickens were my single source of happiness over my last month here on the island,” Shambo says on the verge of tears. What about Laura’s demise, eh? I guess schadenfreude doesn’t count as happiness. “We’d have conversations, you know? I’d tell them to lay some eggs so they don’t get killed, and they’d understand.” Well, when you put it that way, you don’t sound so crazy. Only vaguely sociopathic.
Mick holds one of the chickens down while Russell kills she shit out of it. After more theatrics, Shambo decides that she’s going to be the one that cooks the chickens, because when something you love dies, you should always be the person to turn that loved one into a tasty meal.
The rest of the tribe wants to skewer the chickens and roast them, but Shambo has unilaterally decided that she’s going to make chicken soup, and that no one else’s input is even remotely important. If you’re wondering whether Shambo has been playing the Poor, Poor Me, I’m So Alienated card when she is, in fact, committed to forcible separating herself from the group, I submit to you this moment, right here.
Dave, for one, is not having any of this nonsense from Shambo. “I won those chickens, and I get a say in what happens to them, and if you boil a chicken for two hours, it’s gonna be ruined.” Shambo wants to slow cook something she loves for two hours, you guys. As we all know, the best way to memorialize something you treasure is to drop that shit right into a Crock Pot. She continues to act like a total bitch, telling Dave to shove it. I think the power may have gone to her head a little, you guys.
Later that night (there is no mention of whether the meal worked out or not, strangely), Shambo sleeps soundly….OR IS SHE? Lightning strikes. The ghost of a chicken flits across the screen. I think the Blair Witch is in there, somewhere. “I have dreams sometimes,” Shambo says. “I think it’s God’s Divine Intervention. I’ve had probably thirty of them in my lifetime. And I dreamed that we voted Dave off!” she says, with portent. Oh my god, Shambo had a dream in which she voted off Dave, right after he got into a shouting match with her? That’s totally not her subconscious trying to make her feel better. OMG, she’s JESUS, you guys. I am totally in awe of her. Touch my head and heal my leprosy, Shambo!
Russell laughs at the ridiculousness in a talking head; “Sooo….Shambo had a dream that we voted for Dave, and we’re going to do that, because that’s what Shambo wants!” he laughs uproariously. “And once he’s gone, we can just run it through to the end,” he says, barely able to contain himself. It’s like he can’t believe his luck. This version of Russell? I sort of like.
Immunity Challenge. Today’s competition is endurance; everyone will grab onto a rope tied with knots at equal intervals. Each rope is attached to a giant log; every few minutes, you have to move your hand lower on the rope by one knot, making it the weight of the log more difficult to bear; the last person holding their log wins. Jaison’s advantage is that he can move his hand up by two notches whenever he likes.
Once the challenge begins, Jaison uses his ability as soon as he can, which is the wisest way to do it; he’ll feel the weight of the log much later than the rest of these people will. Shambo is out first, falling dramatically backwards, because this she is the first mulleted drama queen in the history of ever. Russell is surprisingly out right after, and pretty soon it’s down to just Jaison, Dave and Natalie, who is holding her own pretty damn well. I’d say it’s surprising, but she’s been pretty badass for awhile now.
Natalie eventually falls, leaving just Dave and Jaison, whose hold on the rope is much higher thanks to his advantage. Dave can’t bear it any longer and loses hold of his rope, meaning that Jaison’s auction money has bought him immunity.
“Foa Foa will do whatever I want,” Shambo says nonchalantly, “And I want to vote off Dave.” Oh, Shambo. Your hubris gives me sustenance.
Back at camp, John pulls Russell aside to make sure he’s going to keep his promise to vote off a Foa Foa member (ha!). Russ is like “Yeah, totally, we’re thinking Mick. Now, can you turn around and bend over, please?”
John says that if they (I guess meaning Foa Foa?) sees it coming and votes for one of them, they can play the idol, because Russell has it. Russ, taken aback that someone is actually as smart as he is, has no defense to this straightforward approach and basically cops to having it. If you pause the TV at exactly the right time, you can literally see him thinking the following:
So now John has seriously screwed up, because he 1)trust Russell, for some reason, and 2)has turned himself into a target by outsmarting him. So Russ knows what he has to do: get rid of John. “I made a mistake, so now John has to go home,” Russell says, finally admitting that he is, perhaps, not infallible. Hmm. Am I beginning to like Russell? What is going on here? I’M CONFUSED AND SCARED. Oh well. Off to take a Silkwood shower!
Russell now has to get around the Shambo issue, which he has decided to resolve by removing her from the equation entirely. Russell goes right to Dave, telling him that it was he was going home, but Russell would like it to be John. As such, Dave will have to vote for John if he’d like to stay. Dave is more than cool with that, given that John just screwed him over by flipping his vote for Laura. “If it’s not John, it’s gonna be YOU.” Russell says, straight up. Jesus, am I starting to respect him? WHAT IS HAPPENING?
When Mick tells Jaison about the plan to get rid of John by circumventing Shambo entirely, Jaison rightly points out that the next round is going to be a 4-4 tie when she gets pissed off. “We’re doing the same thing to her that they did,” Jaison says. He is correct about that. The least they could do is tell her, you know? I don’t think she would freak out THAT badly, especially if they promised to get rid of Dave next round.
Tribal Council. Probst offers cursory congratulations to Jaison for using his advantage properly before moving on to The Crazy Show. “Shambo, is it easier or more difficult to get along with people after this long?” he says to her. She says that today was “very peaceful”, and Russell is randomly like “Um, today was strategic, yo.” When she looks at him shockingly, Probst is like “Are you seriously surprised that people are strategizing?”
And this is when Shambo truly begins to unleash her crazy: “It’s absolutely IMPERATIVE to me that someone who deserves it wins,” she says, because Shambo, she of impeccable morals, gets to decide who is good and who is bad. She’s like Sugar with worse hair and makeup, which I didn’t even know was possible. Pay no attention to her petty actions, or the inconsiderate, unilateral decisions she has made, for she is Hair Band Jesus, and she is here to sort the holy from the unholy! Woe is he who steps into her path!
Probst asks Mick if he feels safe, and Mick points out that everyone has brought their bags to this Tribal Council, because things are always up for grabs. I love when contestants on this show insinuate that the presence of bags is evidence that they’re worried about elimination. When you’ve been eliminated, I’m sure the first thing you think is “Shit, I can’t believe I didn’t get to bring that shirt that I’ve been wearing for a month straight with me! Fuck, and also left that rock I found that’s sort of shaped like the state of Wisconsin!”
Time to vote. Russell elects not to play his idol. The first vote is for Mick (John’s) and the next is for Dave (Shambo’s). The rest? Are for John, and he is donezo. This means that both Monica and Brett voted for John as well, in case you were wondering if they were harboring any ill will from that Laura vote. Peace, rocket scientist!
Next week: a double elimination, when we will undoubtedly see Brett get knocked out, because I barely know his name.
35 Comments
is that is name? I was totally wondering who the new guy was, so it’s Brett. I love that Jeff now goes right for the jugular and holds nothing back. The current Jeff would kick season one’s Jeff’s ass.
The blindsides this season have been absolutely awesome!!
Anyone else wonder if Shambo kicked Russell out of the tree house after the vote?
Oh I continue to hate this season. I’m now convinced that they’re working with a new casting crew AND a new challenges crew AND a new editing crew. And they’re all the same people who helped make The Amazing Race seem like the Special Olympics this year. They all suck.
I mostly hate the people who have been editing this show, because they just don’t seem to have a clue as to how to do their jobs.
For example, the auction was apparently heavily edited to eliminate a lot of essential information. For one, it seems that EVERYONE already had something to eat before the pie scene. It’s also possible that Russell had already blown his wad (ick) and that’s why he didn’t bother to bid on the clue. Which, obviously, he should have done if he was anywhere near the amazing player everyone (er, the producers) wants to believe.
Assuming that any of the others have even bothered to continue to look for the idol — we wouldn’t know that from the editing, of course, since they completely dropped that storyline the moment they showed Russell where to look. So either they’re all already aware that Russell has the idol, or they really truly are the idiot incompentent players they appear to be.
How do you generate enthusiasm for such an overwhelmingly underwhelming cast? It’s like wandering in the desert with no water –pretty soon you’re going to be forced to drink your own pee and it’s going to become the sweetest thing you ever tasted.
Which makes Russell this season’s urine.
Not sure what that makes Shambo… this season’s felch?
Hell, they couldn’t even make the shower scene look even remotely sexy this year. Not that they could ever top the threeway shower scene with Amanda and that other hot gal from the Fans n’ Faves season, of course.
And I don’t blame you Schoonie for thinking that Dave won the roasted chicken and not Monica. It says a lot about the season that those two can become interchangeable.
Here’s my theory: they finished filming, brought it back home, took a look at the footage and freaked out because they realized what a shitfest this season would be. Which is why they were forced to shift the focus to Russell and Shambo, turn the show into a cartoon.
I’m also suspecting that most of Russell’s interviews were recorded at the end of the season (or just after he gets eliminated) and all at the same time. He’s always sitting on the rock, always wearing the hat, high above the world. So that would make all of his shit-talk is 20-20 hindsight.
I realize that Survivor is a sacred cow for a lot of people. And that a lot of you are stoked up on the Russell character. But seriously, take a step back and you’ll admit that this season truly is the worst ever. Everything sucks about it.
In fact, this season sucks so hard it’s becoming… awesome to watch, like a car accident in slow motion.
This is the GREATEST SEASON OF SURIVIVOR EVER!!!! I couldn’t be happier. Well, the only thing that could make me happier is if I was on a beach, walking hand and hand with Russell, and he was wearing a thong. (Hey, a guy can dream.)
Anyway, yesterday, I went through Schoonie’s old recaps (including that cheeseball photo recap) and figure that King Russell has been responsible for SIX! Tribal council eliminations. 1)Marisa: the girl with the sad face, 2)Betsy: the police officer, 3)Liz: who I liked, 4)Kelli: some girl in a bikini who didn’t speak a lot, 5) Laura: who was a great foe for Russell and 6) John: the guy with the sad face. True, Shambo hated Laura as much Russell but Russell had a better reason to hate Laura “ Laura wanted to get rid of Russell.
Add those SIX! eliminations along with the fact that King Russell found three hidden immunity idols, destroyed his own team (that was his strategy!?) and is now instrumental in picking off Galu members, one by one, and you have one of the best SURVIVOR players in SURVIVOR history. Russell may not win but he’s the only person who deserves to win.
I agree about the casting issue someone raised. I am completely against casting this show. I do not want to see any more 20 year old bikini girls. Eww. Those girls gross me out. Cover those things up and eat a hamburger, please!
This made me laugh: “Hey, can someone help me down from this rock? My feet are dangling.”
I must agree with itchy-poo, whoeverthefuck is editing needs to have their balls and/or labia twisted, and HARD. I have rarely been so annoyed as I was to be set up over Shambo’s boiling of that chicken whole and being a huge bitch to Dave and being so smugly sure of her cooking skills… and then NOT. RECEIVE. A. FUCKING. PAYOUT!!! I mean, even if the meal turned out to be good, then that would have been interesting to see Shambo actually DELIVER on one of her boasts (for a change) and it would have thwopped Dave a good one in the head (still hate his hair). But no, let’s set up the conflict buildup and then pretend like there was a cable outage and no one will ever know how it turned out. How Sopranos.
I’m completely amazed at how much weight Russell has lost. In less than a month? Maybe I need to go on Survivor, it might shave some pounds off of MY fat ass… except I would probably go nuts and eat one of my fellow tribe-members (and not in the gay way, either).
Great job, Schoonie, love your work as always!
love, J-Mo
I was sooo disappointed that they did not show what happened with the chicken soup. After she lost the fishing equipment and almost lost a chicken, I was anxiously awaiting the chicken soup verdict, only to have it completely dropped.
I’ve said it once (here) and I will say it again…the show is at its best when the “cast” is made up of people who really want to be there (like the lady bus-driver from last season who had tried out 6 times before she made it) instead of people who look like they come from central casting.
Another great job on the recap!
Rather than writing a long hate letter about this failure of a season, I will just say “ditto” (a word I normally never use) to itchy’s insightful entry.
One question, though…
If The Keebler Elf is really a millionaire, why hasn’t he shelled out a couple bucks to have his missing tooth replaced?
Schoonie, that pic of John with his mouth open is priceless. I entered the domain of admiring Russell a couple of weeks back, which means he is going to be voted off soon if past seasons of this show have taught me anything. Besides, he’s another icky excuse of Texas excrement. But he’s from Dayton, not my area of the state so I’m cool with that. East Texas, y’all. That’s all I’m saying.
I first started watching Survivor because my Anthro theory prof made it part of our grade (first season of the show) to write a summary of the show every week, pointing out all the anthropological yada, yada, yada going on. I got hooked on reality TV as a result, with a special love for Survivor because of the strategy. Up until lately. Last season I was more interesting in various Brazilian critters knocking off Coach than I was in the game. This season, I think most of my enjoyment has been of the “are these people really that stupid?” variety. They’re letting a roughnecker run rampant, mostly unchecked. Clearly this herd isn’t very healthy and needs culling.
We are finally down to players and floaters, the interesting part where people finally start stepping up or imploding. Right now, I’m thinking Natalie and Mitch are looking like decent bets. Maybe Monica (is that mini-Laura’s name?) or Bret (invisible man) step up to win at challenges. Who knows at this point?
Yeah, I like Russell, too, but he painted a big old target on his balding head saying “Yoo hoo, immunity idol right here, down my pants, partners! Vote my arse out now!” Granted, I’m not sure if the Galus are going to notice said target if they are still doing the downward-facing dog on the beach instead of strategizing more.
Anyhoo, Russell may be reprehensible, but he’s a self-made millionaire and I suspect we are seeing how he made that money with self-serving grit and determination. He’s a bald Donald Trump with a better gut instinct and so far he’s pulled his tribe up by their boot straps, all the while sabotaging them to ensure chaos. It’s actually pretty cool to watch. In many ways, Russell is the American dream and aren’t we supposed to back the self-made person in this country? (I know, blegh, but it’s still quite an accomplishment; he didn’t lie to Mitch about his business and roots.) This doesn’t mean that wishing a flying fox to drop a coconut on his head is a bad thing; it might even even the odds for the other guys. We really need that coconut. I really hope Jaison and Mitch start working strategy now, along with Natalie. It would be really easy to get Russell out right now while he thinks he’s on top, but I’ve yet to see Mitch or Jaison work those medical/law degrees.
‘Course, I really just want to see what Shambo does to Russell. That could be interesting, especially if she starts screaming “Kill the pig!” and goes all Marine Cook Commando on Russ’ arse.
I’d love it if Dave Ball seizes the opportunity and humbly apologize to Shambo’s mullet for questioning her cooking ability. After all, cooks, even Marine ones, don’t like other people telling them they don’t know what they are doing. You can tell by her hair and her background story, this is a Very Complicated Cook. And anyone who’s watched Hell’s Kitchen knows not to question the Chef, especially the bad ones. Don’t know who’s tougher a psychic, mulleted, Marine cook or an ex-footy playing Scot like Gordon Ramsay, but I wouldn’t test the Shambo-is-a-Pushover theory too long. She’s not the least bit stable (and she referred to herself as Shannon last week which makes me think she is about to blow). (BTW, if you haven’t read some of Shambos interviews about what she wants to occur vis-a-vis playing on Survivor, do it — she’s a whole ‘nother layer of loony than what they’ve shown on the show.
For those wondering about the soup…
I read an exit interview with Dave, and he said the soup was great.
Of course, they haven’t eaten in a month, so they probably thought the rat was great.
I just had to mention Schoonie that the Tim Tebow comment was hysterical; I lauged out loud. Like Shambo, I know Tebow thinks “God made me really special.”
Hate to burst your bubble, Jenna, but there’s no evidence that he’s a millionaire or owns a company. All we have is his word (and apparently his brother and father, who obviously would go along with the gag).
I earn my living researching companies, have access to some pretty good databases (although admittedly not quite as thorough as Lexis/Nexis), and yet can find nothing about him. Nothing.
Hell, even the local Dayton newspaper has nothing about him, or any company he might have. And you’d think they’d give him a mention, no?
All we know about him is what he says — and the one thing we know for certain is that he’s a liar. He admits that he lies, he’s PROUD that he lies. And we can believe at least this much, that he’s a liar, because we’ve seen him in action.
Now, why would you or anyone believe the word of a liar?
The simple fact that he didn’t shell out to have a tooth implant — they cost about $2,000 per tooth, chicken feed for a ‘millionaire’– is pretty much all you really need to know about his bank account.
I can understand how people can enjoy his character and even his game play. But admire him as a person? Seriously? If that’s the American dream, then I’m glad I live in France.
At one point the other week he mentioned that he was living in a trailer park a few years back. Now THAT I do believe.
Okay, so I admit Russell H. has turned me out onto the Ho stroll with his badass pimp skills. I used to hate him..but now his impish leprechaun smirk has me bedazzled!
The other players are just too passive and lame for me to feel sorry for, or remain interested in.
btw..Shambo’s cheese has slid WAY off her cracker!!
I would be afraid to sleep anywhere near her at this point in the game..Eeek!
Two things real quick…first I thought one of the girls won the chicken…monica, no? Second, I have to disagree with the statement “sure drawing rocks was the right move for him, because even though it puts him in (very little) immediate short term danger, it gives him the better shot at getting his team to the end”. Actually, his team was more in danger…if my math is right, they had a 5-3 numbers advantage (taking out the two people voted for and tied), so they had more of a chance of one of them getting the rock to kick them out than the other tribe…no?
Seriously, you guys are going with since he didn’t get the chipped tooth fixed he can’t be a millionaire?!? There are alot of people out there (millionaires included) that don’t care about cosmetic appearances. When Russell told Mick he had money, did you see how his demenor changed? To me he seemed real. Plus in an interview they showed afterwards, he mentioned how only Mick, and weighted the options of if that could be used against him.
I’m excited to see what kind of plan Mick and Jaison come up with to get rid of Russell. Inevitably it will fail when Russell sees people actually talking to each other at camp and figures out to play his immunity idol. But who will get the 2nd most votes?!?
I tend to believe that Russell owns his own oil company, but I’m not sure about the “millionaire” part. All of the promos from CBS has him listed as an oil company owner, and I don’t think he could lie about that due to the background/physical/psych checks that CBS does for this show. Just my opinion.
Uh, not telling the truth is part of the game. If I remember correctly Johnny Fairplay said his grandma died.
I tend to believe him simply because he acts like he’s NEW money. I have a couple hundred databases at my fingertips (uh, including Lexis/Nexis, DIALOG, Factiva and all the rest of them). Does anybody know what his company is called and where it is based?
It’s supposedly Hantz Oil Company or Hantz Tankering Services (tankering services is what he’s supposedly doing, don’t know if it’s in the company’s name). And supposedly in or around Dayton, Texas.
At any rate, just typing in Russell Hantz should be enough to bring up at least a couple of non-Survivor related hits.
From what I’ve seen, others have attempted to penetrate this mystery, with no success. And if you can’t find him through Lexis/Nexis, then he doesn’t exist.
Meanwhile, there’s lying as part of the game, and then there’s ….lying for the malicious joy of it.
And that’s not a chipped tooth. That sucker is gone completely. Probably bumped his mouth against the trailer table one day. Getting it replace isn’t only a question of appearances — although anyone as full of himself as he is would most definitely have had that filled, if he could.
Uh, I found a zillion articles in both Factiva and LexisNexis. All of them have to do with Survivor.
Then I thought, “Why don’t I google him and search the yellow pages?” I won’t post the information but I found a Hantz Tankering Service in Dayton, TX.
Doesn’t mean he’s a millionaire but I suspect King Russell is telling the truth.
BTW: I’m missing a tooth and I think it makes me look EVEN MORE MANLY.
Apparently, that business is registered to a mobile home in a trailer park, and it’s not in your hero’s name either. (This is from what I read, I can’t verify this).
I’m not saying that he (or his father, more like) doesn’t have a business, just that it’s more along the lines of a business that owns a tanker truck and delivers fuel oil to people’s homes. Nothing wrong with that, and it may very well provide a good living. But it’s not the image one usually gets from “oil company”.
Anyway, whether or not he is or isn’t rich has little bearing on my distaste for him and the way the producers have used him to jump the shark with this season. At least last season Coach was more of a supporting character for the real game. Imagine what it would have been like if they had been feeding him immunity idols too?
I am, however, glad you’re enjoying the character and the season.
I’ll say this much for him, he at least provides a bit of discussion material for this otherwise drab season.
Gotta disagree, itchy, on the tooth thing. I don’t think physical vanity drives this man and the broken tooth means little to nothing. Hell, either his ex-wife (I’m assuming he has one b/c of his attitude) or a wildcatter/roughnecker could have put it right out. Maybe its a badge of honor or a symbol to him. I’m voting for Napoleon syndrome — the whole BS that short men in power are sexy, who cares if they look like they got kicked in the face by a mule and have a matching ugly personality?
Besides, why lie on his bio? It won’t buy him any credit and being a millionaire can hurt you on the show. Just because he lied about Katrina and his dog and, well, nearly everything, doesn’t mean he is lying about the company. I don’t think he is mainly because (1) he’s not that good a liar and (2) he hasn’t crowed about pulling the wool over Mitch’s eyes about being a millionaire (and he would have). Also, I had some family in the oil business, not being wiki-able doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have a valid operation; it usually means you are running under an umbrella corporation. Somebody somewhere mentioned Russell doesn’t sound Texas? I don’t sound Texas and I was born here; Bush sounded Texas and he wasn’t born here. There you go. Some people like Russell go the hick route (and how). Maybe he is all hat and no ranch, but I’m inclined to believe him about the company (and pretty much nothing else).
Honestly, I don’t care what he is in real life and I’m certainly not defending his prickish behavior. At this point if we found out he was a troll living under the Houston Ship Channel bridge, making millions by charging all who pass, it sounds nearly believable.
I think the fact that Russel is the most deserving contestant this season shows how much most of the others suck. He would be gone if they hadn’t fed him those idols. Still, it would be a boring season without him, so i’m glad he’s still in it.
I can just see Russell lording over a mobile home park. Even if he’s a millionaire he would probably opt to stay at the top spot of his aluminum kingdom, handing out beers and Oxycontin to his loyal subjects. If Russell’s business acumen is the “American way”, then it comes across to me as the “go in,steal a 3rd world country’s resources and leave a gaping toxic hole” way. Survivor is not stale, their casting is. The casting directors need to be fired and a whole new crew brought in. I personally find Shamwow to be good casting, not an adept player but good casting. Also the editing does SUCK! Last week they showed Russell releasing the chickens in their teaser segment. It didn’t happen, so why the clip? Chicken soup drama, no pay off….have they got a room full of Ritalin poppin’ ADHD web surfers doing the editing this season?
Schoonie:
This explains why depictions of the Grim Reaper in chicken folk tales always look a lot like Colonel Sanders.
Very funny stuff! Thanks
I’ve been to east Texas lots of times and so many people live in trailers it’s not considered such a stigma, IMO.
I was really disappointed that John got voted off. I think he got stuck with a bunch of idiot people on Galu and might have gotten further in the game if he was aligned with a Jaison-Mick-Natalie group. Russell owes a lot to them.
And Schoonie, you gotta give my crazy-fun Shambo a little more credit for getting as far as she has, even with the sometimes self-imposed alienation.
I believe I’ve located his home on the web and it doesn’t look like a trailer park. Seems like a nice middle class area. He could be a millionaire. While it’s still alot of moolah, having a million isn’t nearly as difficult a feat as it used to be. KEEPING it, these days, may be a whole ‘nother thing altogether.
Maybe it’s just not important to him to get his tooth fixed. Just because you get the money doesn’t necessarily mean you change your ways. There’s alot of idiotic nouveau riche people out there. Look at all the dumb ass RH of Atlanta. Just because they have money doesn’t make them ladies. Just makes them classless ho’s with money.
Mick and Jaison have both won individual immunity which is great for them and I’m glad they did but the ONLY FF that King Russell is indebted to is Natalie.
It was Natalie who befriended Laura when Laura came to the FF camp and it was Laura who listened to Natalie when Natalie suggested getting rid of Erik. King Russell does owe Natalie for that. But Mick and Jaison? Not so much.
I will admit that when
Jaison, Mick and Natalie were told to vote a particular way (by one of the Galu men) It was great to see Jaison find his backbone and say, “He was going to vote the way he wanted to vote and no one was going to tell him what to do.” Having said that I suspect the reason they’re ALL still there is because they have remained loyal to each other.
It would be wise of the four of them to stick together till the final five, if only to keep, “Guy with two arrows” and “mini-Laura” from getting any further. I mean those two have done absolutely NOTHING. “mini-Laura’s” one attempt at game play was to be a seductress and convince Russell to vote out Mick. She FAILED miserably because Russell wasn’t buying what she was selling. “Guy with two arrows” is truly just “background.”
Thing to remember: Russell hasn’t won yet.
and
GALU’s were the big winners till the merge.
Whatever, Mr. Dangerous. Yes, Natalie was the lynchpin in the “get rid of Erik” plan, but don’t you remember it was Jaison’s idea? I’m not trying to take away credit to Natalie and Russell, I’m just saying Russell’s plans would never have worked if they weren’t quietly backing him up. And he owes them for that.
I have to admit, Russell has grown on me. I hate the misogynist leprechaun, pig of a person he is in the to the other players, but I do respect the munchkins gameplay. Can’t wait till Thursday, double eviction!!!
2muchbravo, I resent the fact that you chose to label the Atlanta Housewives, out of all the Housewives to date, dumbass, classless ho’s with money. I can’t help but to think that there is much more beind your comment. Why single out Atlanta, when other installments were less sophisticated? Was NJ your idea of class? Do tell
GAH! Comparing Shambo to Sugar?! No way. Loved Sugar. She was smart and calculating and actually played the game. I don’t have any strong opinion about Shambo, but she’s definitely not a strategic player!
Zerocool:
I don’t remember it being Jaison’s suggestion but if you say so I believe you.
I have nothing against Jaison. I think he’s gotten his second wind and I certainly like the good looking doctor.
I want all four FFs in the final four.
Mr. D, I do believe it was Jaison’s idea to get rid of Erik because of Erik’s cockiness over the fact that the FF’s were going to be eliminated back to back. Nat was more of a soldier, sent to befriend Laura and gauge how effective this plan would be.
Could you imagine a final 3 with Shambo and Russell? I agree with Itchy that this season has sucked because of the casting…. by this time in the season, you should know all of the characters. At this point, Brett shouldn’t be such an enigma. Who cares if he goes or stays?
On a side note, why do they show the jury making comments? I thought the jury was banned from talking during the vote? Does someone have any feedback on that?
Yeah, slutty_whore. Erik was being very patronizing and talking down to Mick, Natalie & Jaison. After he left, Jaison turned to the other two and said something like: I don’t mind leaving, but I don’t want to leave before that guy.. or something to that effect. Anyway, I didn’t mean to stir up any trouble with Mr. Dangerous, who’s posts I enjoy.
Not sure why the producers are allowing it, but I totally love the jury’s comments. Or in Kelli’s case, looking pouty. LOL
@D girl
I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to offend. All the RH are pretty classless. I just grabbed Atlanta, they were the first to come to mind. The OC bitches are surely, a name-calling, foreclosing bunch.I don’t think they’ve stooped to hair pulling yet. Now that you mention it, flipping dinner tables is pretty classless, too.
I thought the jury aren’t allowed to address the others (and vice versa), but they can still speak among each other.
Not as if the producers are sticking all that closely to the rules this season anyway. Or they’re just kind of making things up as they go along.
Double-elimination tonight? Here’s hopin’!
zerocool: Trailers aren’t a stigma, per se. Well, Austin is a liberal city, so here there is a stereotype, but in some places people love them. Retired folk, young folk, snowbirds — and when the park closes or they don’t like their neighbors, they hitch up their homes and drive off. There are supposed to be these huge million-dollar double-wides you can get out East Texas. I remember reading about a subdivision of them somewhere out there. They didn’t look like much, although the owner was vaguely Russell-esque in bearing.
2muchbravo: He said he (or his company?) gets about $2m a yr. I hate to say that’s chickenfeed, but after taxes. (And if he has to split his company profits between his father and brother who run it w/ him, it probably isn’t as much as you would expect a millionaire to have, I guess.
Itchy said something about the casting for Amazing Race and Survivor being the same right? It’s sucks, even with Shamwow doing her darnedest to be kookiest contestant ever. This is more like Survivor For Dummies, for sure.