Welcome to another week of results on So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)! This week Adam and Mia really piss me off, I actually don’t mind watching the musical guest more than once, and Cat has once again had sex in her dressing room right before the show starts.
I guess Dominic decided to take it to a deeper place after all.
I know. That was gross. I’m so sorry.
We open with a group number, as we usually do, and I get excited as soon as I see the name Roisin Murphy under the song title. Wade? Is that you Wade?
Nope, not Wade. It was a Sonya routine. I’m not complaining, because I like Sonya a lot, I was just really happy thinking it was a Wade routine. Ah well, maybe next week. On a different topic….
Am I the only one that thinks the lights look like neon donuts this year?
Have they always been like this and I’ve never noticed? It’s weird. And making me hungry for toxic donuts.
I was going to make a comment about Cat’s outfit, but really, who am I to criticize her for employing blind seamstresses? They get so little work these days.
Cat reminds us that we are live, LIVE! Well, except for those on the West Coast. Nanny, nanny, boo, boo! She says it’s time once again for the drama and trauma of the results. Poor Cat, I know she hates giving these kids bad news; it’s part of what makes her so great at this job.
She introduces us to the judges, mentioning that Nigel rescued two dogs today. So? He is still a giant dickwad.
Evidence: This smug look about how awesome he is
Also, did you know Dance Day is coming up? Dance. Day. He plugs the routine that Tabitha and Napoleon have come up with (I refuse to use their stupid nickname), and then also says that you can tell Fox what you’re planning to do on that day and you may get some cameras there to put you on TV. Oh, great. I’m already SO EXCITED to see camera whores dancing badly. Just shoot me now.
Time for the first group of dancers. In this grouping are Cristina, Adechike and Kent.
I think it’s obvious that Kent will be safe, but I was thinking that both Adechike and Cristina would end up in the bottom three. I wonder which it will be?
We get our usual rerun of the performances and the judges’ critiques before finding out that Kent is safe. No surprise there.
Huh. I didn’t know baby Jesus was voting this year. Did Mary dial for him? Or the Holy Spirit?
And between Adechike and Cristina, the one in the bottom three is…….
Awwww, she’s sweet kid, but I’m not shocked by this. The judges loved her last night, so she’ll probably be okay. Cat goes to Adam for his response and he says he’s shocked by this. He doesn’t get it.
But enough about Cristina. Adam wants to talk about how he’s become aware that people thought they were extremely harsh in some of their criticism last night. He has to say, for the record, that no one, not the judges, not the choreographers, and not the dancers are above criticism.
So don’t criticize our critiques!
Back to Cristina, she has a great attitude despite ending up in the bottom three for the second week in a row. She says that is why she’s here. And that’s why I like her despite the fact that she is probably the weakest girl at this point.
Up next are Jose, Melinda, Ashley, and Alex.
We all know Alex is going to be safe. I really want Melinda in the bottom three, but Jose could be in danger here. If he ends up in the bottom, I’m about 98% sure he’s gonna get the boot. Please let it be Melinda. Please, please, please.
As predicted, Alex is safe. Cat talks about Jose next, which surprises me because I was sure it would be between him and Melinda. He is safe. So now it’s down to Melinda and Ashley. If Melinda isn’t in the bottom three I will have to hurt someone. The second person in the bottom three is……..
Thank you baby Jesus indeed.
We go over to Nigel for his comments. He says he thinks she needs to show a vulnerability to people, find something that allows people to connect with her. He doesn’t know what it is; he thinks she’s a super dancer. As much as I’m not really a fan of hers, I have to admit that she also handles landing in the bottom three well. I’d still like her to go home though.
Time for the last group of three: Robert, Billy, and Lauren.
Uh oh. From this line up I’d say it’s between Billy and Robert for the final spot in the bottom. Billy could end up there given that krump from last night.
Lauren’s rerun is up first, and so, she is safe. But what the hell is she wearing?!?!?
Apparently Lauren decided that if by some chance she ended up in the bottom three, wearing her best Fredrick’s of Hollywood outfit was sure to save her. Actually, that’s pretty well thought out: Nigel’s boner would be a guaranteed vote in that outfit. I can’t really give her too hard of time though; the outfits the girls wear are usually pretty close to being underwear. I’ll save my thoughts on that for another time.
So we’re now down to Billy and Robert. Billy deserves to be in the bottom due to his performance last night, but Robert irritates the ever loving shit out of me, so I hope he’s the one in the bottom. I wouldn’t mind him being the first boy sent home. And the final dancer in the bottom three is……..
Good. Now send him or Melinda home and I will be very happy. Over to Mia for her comments. She’s shocked. She says he is by far one of their favorite performers this season and they don’t want to lose him. She tells him to fight with everything he’s got. And then he acts like an idiot once again.
I’m thinking he actually annoys me more than Melinda, but then as Cat heads into a commercial……
Not even a glance behind her for her fellow dancers. I’m back to hoping Melinda goes. I know, I’m a fickle bitch, what can I say?
Before we get to the dancer’s solos, we have our first guest performance. Remember when Nigel said Brian Gaynor and his crew could come perform on the show? Me too! I thought that meant we’d see him on the finale night, but they are here tonight to perform! Yay!
Their masks actually reminded me of JabbaWockeeZ, but I get why they had them. I think you all know that I love what Brian does, and I have to say, I liked the other two guys in the crew just as much as I like him. I would be in heaven if we could have guest performances like this every week.
It’s now time for the solos. Cristina is up first.
Ballroom solos are notoriously underwhelming on this show, and Cristina’s is no exception. She tries, but it’s a pretty forgettable solo even among other forgettable ballroom solos.
Next up is Melinda.
They’re back to micing the taps, and I continue to be annoyed by that. It didn’t seem like they miced her last week, so why now? I also continue to be unimpressed with her tapping. I really wish we could get a tapper on this show that could really wow people. I know they’re out there, just not here on our TVs. My last note regarding her performance says that at the very least her spandex pants should send her home. Yikes!
Time for Robert.
Of the three he’s definitely the best dancer. Like I said in yesterday’s recap, I think his personality is affecting the way I feel about his dancing, because I’m still hoping either he or Melinda go home despite Cristina’s weak solo. His technique was sloppy in some parts, but it doesn’t really matter when comparing what he did with what the other two put forth. I do think he’ll be in real trouble once he faces off with some of the stronger dancers.
Cat sends the judges off to make their decision, pretending they didn’t already decide this morning which of these three was going home. To kill some time we have yet another musical guest. This time it’s Debi Nova singing “Drummer Boy.” BUT the producers have finally done something smart. They have backed this week’s lip syncer with six of the all star dancers.
This may be the first time that I haven’t minded rewatching the musical performance. As much as I hate them, I wouldn’t mind so much if we had the all stars as backup dancers every week. Except for the devil. Someone please give her a night off.
I do have one question: why was Neil the only guy wearing a shirt?
And now, with fifty two minutes in the bag and another commercial break to go, Cat decides to talk to Debi Nova. WHAT??? Why are we wasting time on her? Now they’re going to rush through the results and the farewell for the dancer going home. Does anyone really give a shit about what this lady has to say? UGH.
Alright, time to get down to business. Nigel tells us this week the judges were NOT unanimous. Robert, step forward. Nigel points out that last week they lost a girl and they started this season with one extra guy, so it seems like it would have been easy to decide to lose a guy. They’re not going to do that. He’s staying.
I really hope he stops hamming it up so much. PLEASE, Robert. I’d like to enjoy your dancing without wanting to kill you.
Melinda, step forward. Nigel doesn’t know what it is, but the public are not connecting with her. He wanted to let her go this week, but Adam and Mia voted for her to stay.
You have GOT to be kidding me!
I know, Hugh, I feel the same way. Plech. I’m so pissed right now. I’m pissed that Adam and Mia kept her in. I’m pissed that she didn’t even bother to glance at Cristina, knowing full well that her staying meant Cristina was going home. And I’m REALLY fucking pissed that this is how Cristina is told she is going home. Pissed, Pissed, PISSED.
Before Cristina leaves, Nigel would like her to know some things. One, she was absolutely brilliant last night. Two, she has grown beyond anywhere where they thought, and each week she grows. She’s like an empty vessel, she wants to learn.
He says they’ve spoken to the choreographers, and her work ethic is very good. And then he says that sometimes he hears she’s a little slow at moving when she’s told. What a prick. First of all, I’m not sure what that even means. Second, is this really the time to say something like that? Can he just not leave it at saying nice things about the poor girl?
Oh wait, I forgot we’re dealing with a first class dickwad.
And then Cat goes through her greatest moments good bye montage. After that, Cat asks her if there’s anything she would like to say before leaving the competition.
Yes, Nigel……suck my ass.
Oh, sorry, that wasn’t her; that was me daydreaming while watching. Cristina says she wants to thank everybody for this great opportunity and she really enjoyed it. She starts to get a little choked up and then insists that she’s not going to cry. She says she will never forget this experience. She really is a sweet kid.
And that’s that, Gasmi. What did you think? Were you hoping like I was that one of the other two would go home? Anyone you think unfairly escaped the bottom three? Did you love Brian’s crew as much as I did?
So we’re now down to six guys and three girls. I’m not usually a betting woman, but I’d say the odds are on a guy going home next week. Which pisses me off because that means Melinda will stay yet again. I have a headache just thinking about it. See you there!