Okay, a couple of things before we get started talking about this week’s So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance). First of all, I am extremely sorry that this week’s recap is coming so late; I had some personal stuff that I had to deal with that cut into my writing time in a BIG way. Believe me when I say I’d have rather been writing. Also, because this week’s recap is getting such a late start, I’ll be combining the performance and results shows into one recap. Hope that doesn’t mess anyone up too badly.
Alrighty then, on with the show! For the second time this season I notice something wrong in the dancer intro portion of the show.
Shouldn’t there be seven people?
What the hell? Where is Ashley now? Instead of getting right to it, Cat first introduces us to the judges, this week referring to them as “Doyens of Dance”. I much prefer Doyans which was my original misspelling of the word. So instead of Cat’s “respected elder” intention, my misspelled word’s definition (via Urban Dictionary) is: A being who has reached a level of whoriness otherwise thought to be unachievable.
Once we go through the judges applauding themselves for being judges, Cat tells us there is yet another injury. This time it’s Ashley who was taken to the hospital Monday with severe rib pains. As was the case with Alex, she will automatically be in the bottom three this week. Unlike Alex, we don’t see Ashley in the audience. Is she still in the hospital?
But enough about Ashley! Let’s talk about Alex. Cat has an update from him in the hospital.
These pain meds are groooooovy.
He thanks us for our kind thoughts and wishes, and tells us the doctors are happy with how his surgery went. Glad to hear it went well, Alex. Now rest up so you can get back to dancing!
On to the partner pick! Each contestant had to pick two partners for tonight; the first being an all star they haven’t yet danced with, the second, with each other.
Kent picks first and he’s got Broadway with Neil. I hope Spencer is back this week for this. Adechike picks salsa with Anya. Spicy! Robert gets Allison and Contemporary.
Ashley’s next and gets a rumba with Pasha. Yumba! Billy also gets Anya, but will be doing a jive instead of a salsa. Lauren gets Mark (YAY!) and cultural. Oh god, please let it be another Russian folk dance. Pleasepleaseplease?
не для всей водочки в мире!
Last to pick is Jose, and he gets Courtney and Broadway. Wait! Is that….could it really be???? NO Lauren G this week?!?!?! Okay, that settles it; there is a god.
As for the contestant pairings, they go a little something like this: Adechike and Kent, Ashley gets Robert,
Who immediately begins the process of cracking her ribs….
Lauren gets Billy, and that leaves poor Jose all alone. He picks the last card which has a gold star on it. Oh Christ on a cracker! Did I speak too soon?
Uhhhh……yes and no?
Lauren and Mark are up first and their cultural dance is Tahitian dance with new choreographer Tiana Liufau. Tiana tells us that Tahitian dance is an art form from the island of Tahiti. Thanks Tiana! I could have have never figured that out on my own.
As the choreographer I will be choreographing the dance.
There are a couple of fundamental techniques they utilize in Tahitian dance: Tamau, Ami, and Fa’arapu. For those of us non versed in Tahitian technique this translates to ass shaking, hip rolling, and really fast ass shaking. Sounds like a dance boner-made for Nigel.
Ow! I think I pulled my ass!
Oh Mark, come over here and I’ll rub it for you. Tiana tells us that before Tahitians were literate they told their myths and legends through dance. With all that ass shaking going on, they must have had some really good times way back when. This is the story of night and day. No, not the crappy movie starring Tom Cruise. The real night and day. And how they flirt together before creating the first day. I think they might drink a lot in Tahiti.
I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say about this dance. Great job shaking your ass? I wish Mark was wearing less clothes? Yup. I wish Mark was wearing less clothes. Nigel?
It was ten times better than Russian Folk Dancing!
Вы сынок кита спермы!
He doesn’t know anything about Tahitian dancing, but he does love him some good ass shaking so you know he loved Lauren in this number. He thinks it was great and a lot of fun (for his boner).
Mia thinks it was like a duck in heat.
And I know this because I am in heat right this very moment.
She can’t believe thy achieved this level of ass shaking in such a short period of time. Adam wants to know who Mark is.
He can’t believe Lauren just did that; it was Uh-maz-ing. By the way, his best friend taught Tahitian dance in case you were wondering and he’s sure she enjoyed it. Shut up, Adam.
Up next we’ve got Adechike and Anya’s salsa. They’ll be working with new choreographers, Liz Lira and Danny Davalos who tells us they’ll be doing a competitive salsa but with more umph. It’s so hard that during rehearsals Anya gets kicked in the head and Adechike is bleeding. Fun!
Wow, I did not enjoy that at all. First of all, he’s leading with his head again which really makes me wish I could reach into the TV and smack his forehead. I feel like that was really clunky, and it seems (to me at least) that Anya wasn’t really trusting Adechike as a partner. I felt like she was holding back, controlling as much as she could which isn’t the norm for her. It wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t do him any favors either.
Nigel thinks the routine worked. He thinks Adechike was challenged to have no lines and he really pulled it off. He also gives a shout out to Anya’s strength.
Mia thinks the lifts and the leg hinges and all that stuff was awesome. She says there were little bumps here and there; she thinks it could have been really good if they’d have had a couple of more hours of rehearsal.
As Mia’s giving her critique, Anya pipes up to say she agrees, there were some bumps. Anya, it pains me to say this, but shut the fuck up. Thanks.
Adam wants to know what Adechike thought when he got this genre.
That y’all hate me and want me gone.
Yeah, Adechike, I think you may be on to something there. But he says it only made him fight that much harder; Adam agrees that that’s what he did. He points out how hard ass the choreography was and adds that he thinks Adechike did great.
Now we’re moving on to Jose and Courtney. They don’t get Spencer Liff for their Broadway (grrrrrr), instead landing Joey Dowling as their choreographer. Feh.
Courtney is playing a showgirl, Jose a stage hand who’s mooning over her all while she ignores his existence. They’re dancing to “Mr. Cellophane” (John C. Reilly version), and I gotta tell you, I love this song.
The dance? Not so much. It’s funny about this number; I think he may have actually had the most dancing (outside of his own genre) that he’s had to do on the show so far, but he’s just not very good.
Nigel immediately gets the show wrong saying the song is from All That Jazz rather than Chicago, and Adam has to pipe up to correct him. He thinks the idea of the dance is good but what it’s done is basically take away Jose’s greatest strength: his personality. So without his personality shining through he actually gets critiqued on his dancing. Nigel says he didn’t dance it well at all.
Mia gets all teary eyed as she tells him the dancing wasn’t good.
I’m all verklempt!
Adam is the only one that actually tries to give him some things to work on, telling him he needs to work on finishing his lines. He tells him he needs to stretch his feet, and basically just take dance classes. Maybe that would have been good advice before putting him on the show.
Up next are Robert and Allison dancing a contemporary piece by Travis. He tells us this piece is very special to him; it’s about his mother and what she’s been going through. Allison represents the mom, Robert represents Travis. So, in a nutshell, this is Breast Cancer Dance: The Remix. I am about to puke.
Since when do sons grab their mom’s boob? Just asking. So. I don’t really know what to say about this routine. I hate the emotional manipulation of the piece and that Robert is probably going to benefit from that. That said, I honestly felt like it showcased Allison more than Robert. And something about Robert’s dancing still bugs me.I think it goes without saying that I still can’t stand him, right?
Crap. The judges give him a standing ovation. Like we couldn’t see THAT coming. Nigel thinks this transcended a television dancing competition. He talks about how they wonder every week why Robert is in the bottom and then basically says we’re all assholes if he’s in the bottom again this week. Whatever, Nigel.
Mia is crying. DUH. Given what she’s just been through with her mom I think we all knew she’d be crying as soon as Travis said the piece was about his mom. She says it’s the best she’s seen Robert dance this season.
Adam says that if Travis doesn’t get an Emmy nomination for that there is no god.
And then when you get that nomination I’ll talk about how I said you should get a nomination. Just wait. We’ll even be able to roll a playback so everyone can see.
He thinks this was one of the performances of the season. I disagree. Alex’s hip hop was one of the performances of the season. This is yet another emotionally manipulative routine designed to get votes for someone that is annoying. And then Adam tells us he blew a snot bubble. Great. Thanks for sharing, Adam. Your comments are as insightful as ever.
Cat then asks Robert how you can do routine like that and not let the emotion overtake. He doesn’t answer that question. Instead he talks about how his mom has taught him to be a strong person, and he’s just glad she got to see him do this routine. BARF.
After a quick run to the little girl’s room to purge myself of the pukey feeling inspired by Robert, we are moving on to Billy and Anya who will be dancing a Louis van Amstel jive routine. Yay! I love Louis!
Louis tells us this will be a traditional competitive jive. Much is made of Billy’s nervous laughter. I think Anya’s hotness makes him a little nervous.
Aside from the terrible cut of Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”, I quite enjoyed that routine. The chemistry between them was a little wacky; sort of like a teenager dancing with his mom’s hot best friend, but I think it actually worked here. As usual, Billy’s kicks and lines are ridiculous, and I think that this may be the most fun he’s had on that stage so far.
Cat points out that something’s happened to the back of Anya’s skirt. I didn’t notice the first time I watched, but she got her heel caught in the skirt and it unraveled some of her ruffles. The way it was hanging down during most of the dance I’m surprised she didn’t get her heel caught again.
Nigel says he thinks that’s the hardest he’s seen Billy work to get some chemistry with his partner. He thinks that’s really where he needs to work. He also would like for Billy to not kick as high.
Mia thinks it was an absolutely stellar performance. She says she could pick at him and say it was supposed to be more down, but she’s happy that his training is so evident. So basically, she doesn’t care if it fits the style, she just loves his training.
Cat comments about Billy’s laugh and he mistakes her saying “sex bomb” as “sex bum”. Adam thinks this is hilarious because he is a twelve year old boy.
hehehehehe….he said bum…..hehehehehe
This was one of his favorite performances of Billy’s. Nigel interrupts to say that a lot of the credit must be given to Louis. Shut up, Nigel.
Time for Kent and Neil’s Broadway. Oh shit. They have Sir BitchyPants. Fuck! Why??? Why do we have to be subjected to his fucked up Broadway routines? Ack.
All Hail the King of Shitty Broadway Routines!
This number is about two baseball players. So the movement will be suggestive of the moves on a baseball field. Yup, I can totally recall seeing straddle jumps and back flips the last time I watched a Yankees game.
So here’s the deal for me with this routine; I hated the choreography (shocking, I know), but I think that Kent and Neil danced the shit out of the shit they were given. And Kent has a personality that would do really well on Broadway. Does that make for a great routine? No. But I think they did a good job with crap choreography.
Just as I settle down to hear the judges’ comments……..
Are you fucking shitting me?!?!?
I mean, really? The bitch has the night off and I still have to see her demon face on my television? What the fuck?!?!? I try to tell myself it’s not her; I’m imagining things…..
Nigel thinks it was an absolutely fantastic routine, and tells Kent he’s the MVP tonight. He also tells Neil that Kent outdanced him. Rude.
Mia tells us she loves boys.
Unless their names are Adechike.
She thinks it was great entertainment; strong male dancing. She loved everything about it. Adam jokingly says there weren’t enough tricks for him, and then tells Sir BitcyPants that was SO awesome. And….then……
Well, shit. No denying now.
Adam then compares this routine to the other side of Bob Fosse, and now he is officially dead to me. I cannot believe that he tried to say this is comparable to Fosse. Duh-ed to me.
So now that we’ve gone through the contestant/all star pairings, it’s time to move on to the contestant/contestant routines. First up are Lauren and Billy. They’ve got Mandy Moore for jazz. But before we get to the dancing it’s time for Filler Topic of the Week! Da da dun!
This week’s stupid topic is what has your partner been keeping a secret up until now? Billy tells us Lauren eats like a squirrel. I immediately think Nigel’s boner popped up thinking that meant she eats balls. Billy’s secret? He’s a soda addict. Well, that explains the yellow teeth.
Mandy tells us this routine is about two pairs of shoes meeting up and wanting to boogie. Naturally they’ll be dancing to “Boogie Shoes”.
That was a fun number. They both danced it well, and honestly it made me smile. Of course it helps that I love the song. But I think Mandy had a really fun concept and gave them some good things to do. I liked it.
Nigel thinks it was an adorable routine. It’s one of those styles that just makes you smile while watching. He says again that Billy is really connecting with his partner tonight, and he’s glad to see that he’s working on that. He thinks this style suits him. He tells Lauren not to click her heels three times because she’s not going home yet.
What does Mia think? “Ka.”
She thinks the performance and choreography was completely in the pocket and the cutest thing ever. Fantastic.
Adam thinks it was happy making. He says that Billy finally did what he asked him to do last week. Yeah, FINALLY. That is, he just got lost in the dancing. I just wish he could have applied that note sooner than the week after, don’t you? He thinks this is what’s going to make people pick up the phone and vote for him.
He tells Lauren that he thinks the boys have something to be afraid of. He thinks she could get way up there. Like maybe top six?
You know it!
Next, Jose and Dominic will be dancing a b-boy routine choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon. And guess who’s assisting them? Legacy! But wait! I’m sure you all want to know Jose’s secret, right? It’s that he covers the toilet seat with toilet paper. Even in his own house. Yeah, I am loving these secrets.
My secret is that I fantasize about PottyMouth when I’m working out.
Awwww, Hugh, that’s so sweet. I wish I could say the same, but I don’t work out. How about I just say I fantasize about you whenever I’m not working out?
Works for me!
Legacy is assisting Tabitha and Napoleon along with another b-boy. Tabitha says the advantage to having b-boys all in the same room working together is that they all speak the same language. I’m guessing the same could be said of all contemporary dancers working together, or all ballroom dancers, right?
I don’t know, maybe I’m expecting too much after watching all the seasons I have of America’s Best Dance Crew, but I’m finding myself underwhelmed by this routine. It wasn’t bad, I guess I was just expecting more. More dynamics, more excitement, just More.
Nigel says the question is did Jose redeem himself from his earlier routine. He thinks he did. I disagree. If you can’t blow the roof off in your own style, especially when you’re so weak in other styles, it just may be time to go home.
He says he doesn’t think any of the other dancers here tonight could have done what he just did. The same is true in reverse Nigel. He is also really loving watching the guys dance together this season when it produces routines like that.
In case you didn’t hear her the first time, Mia loves boys. She tells Jose all she wants from him now is training and strength. She says he has some fine tuning he needs to do now, but as a whole she loved it.
Adam tells Jose that that’s the way to compete. Adam tells us that Jose is the sweetest, most sensitive guy in the world and he knows just how much their earlier critique hurt. Well sure, but maybe that wouldn’t be the case if you all had actually been critiquing him from the beginning instead of constantly telling him how adorable he is!
Cat sends Dominic off stage with the sword, and you knew he was going to do it, didn’t you?
Sword boner. How original.
Next are Kent and Adechike. Adechike’s secret is that he wants to become a chef. Adechike tells us Kent has the hots for Lauren and their kiss last week wasn’t part of the choreography. Riveting.
They will be working with Dee Caspary on a contemporary piece. Dee tells us this routine is about best friends, one of whom is in a poisonous relationship. The girlfriend will be represented by a chair.
Whoa. I really loved this piece. I think it showed both of the guys off really well. And they both danced it really well. I still want to slap Adechike’s forehead, but I have to admit, he actually made me forget I want to do that for a moment or two. This is my favorite of the night so far.
Nigel thinks it was tremendous. He talks about the leap above that Adechike did, saying it was absolutely fabulous. He thinks it’s going to be difficult this week to decide who you like and who you don’t.
He thanks Kent for underplaying the performance; he thinks his style was beautiful there. He thinks that Kent has a remarkable chance of being this year’s champ now that Alex is gone. Way to jinx him, Nigel.
Mia says Kent is an unbelievable dancer and she is so in love with him. She loved the organic quality of his movement, and the vulnerability that they both showed in that performance. She then tells Adechike that there is a god, for sure, because she prayed he would have a good week and he did!
More like you prayed that you’d be able to control your cuntish remarks.
She thinks that when he jumps he’s like a giselle. Nigel corrects her, thinking she means gazelle. She does, saying “ew” when she realizes that she confused an animal with a prima ballerina role in a famous ballet. She tells us she’s having a dumb day. Day? Ha!
Adam says that they just taught America that a super athlete can also be a super artist. He says that they both just taught him so much about dance and performance. Now if only they could teach him about shutting the fuck up.
The last performance of the evening will be Robert and Ashley Kathryn dancing a disco routine. Robert says Ashley’s secret is that she was looking at him when she said she thought she was in love. Robert’s secret is that he’s an annoying idiot. Oh wait, that’s not a secret. His secret is that he laughs like an annoying idiot really loud.
What’s another word for annoying? Robert. I just looked it up in the dictionary.
Of course they have the crazy disco lady, Doriana Sanchez. It is at this point that I become convinced that Robert purposely squeezed the shit out of Ashley’s ribs hoping to secure his place in the competition for yet another week. What?!? You don’t know. It coulda happened.
I will hug you, and squeeze you, until I crack your ribs.
So, because Ashley is hurt (thanks Robert), Kathryn will be stepping in and dancing with him. Hey! Maybe he can drop her on her ass again this week!
I did not like that at all. First of all, that outfit is doing Robert no favors. I know it’s not up to him what he wears, so I’m thinking at least one person in the costume department finds him as annoying as I do. Also, he once again spends over half the routine with his ass sticking out like he did in last week’s quickstep.
This week it’s not that he danced well and I just don’t like him; I think he danced this poorly. The lifts were awkward and I’m not sure if that’s his fault or that Kathryn is having problems trusting him after he dropped her last week. I dunno, the whole thing looked sloppy and clunky to me.
Nigel doesn’t think people appreciate how tough disco is. I think we do, Nigel. We can all see how difficult the lifts are, but we can also see when it wasn’t danced well; don’t try to use the “you don’t get it” routine to drum up votes for Robert. He thinks Robert gave us lines and strength and he thinks it was beautiful for this style.
Mia says she loves Robert, but she hopes to never see him dance this style again. She says it felt too thin and he didn’t bring masculine weight to the movement. Nigel jumps in, all pissy-like, saying those were the actual steps the manly men did back then. Mia’s like I don’t give a shit about that, I needed more. I hate to say this but Go Mia. Wow, that felt strange to say that. Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t happen again.
To Adam’s knowledge there are two things that sell disco: being there for your partner and selling fun. He bought it. After he watches the playback I bet he wants his money back.
And that ends the performance show. Although…….I’d like to leave you with this image…..
Alright, unlike normal weeks, we’re going to go right into the results show. I’m going to try and be more brief here than I usually am given the fact that I am running so far behind this week. So let’s get right to it, shall we?
You know, every now and then Sir BitchyPants puts out a Broadway number that I actually like. This is not one of those times. What the hell was that? And why does Nigel insist on bringing him back time and time again to do Broadway routines when he’s so awful? I think it’s Nigel’s way of torturing us.
What is Cat wearing this week?
Looks like she raided her mum’s wardrobe
Hey, have you heard about Dance Day? You haven’t?? Well lucky for you, Cat and Nigel are hear to tell you more about it! They’ve even brought along videos to help you all get in the mood.
Yup. I’ll definitely be there now.
Now that you’ve been given the proper Dance Day information, it’s time to move along to the results. First group out is Kent and Lauren. I wonder how they’ve fared in the voting.
They sure do look worried, don’t they?
Like they really had any reason to be.
Yes, that’s right….shocker of the night is that they are both safe. I’ll tell ya, I for one was really worried about them.
Ready for more results? Too bad because it’s time for some special guests. These kids are from Mary Murphy’s Champion Ballroom Academy, give it up for Fernando and Lauren!
That was cute. As I’ve said before, I’m all for more dancing on this show, even if it’s little kids. I’d rather watch ten of these routines than one “superstar” lip syncer. Alright, maybe not ten, but you get my point.
Time for more results, this time with Billy and Adechike.
Both of which are looking a little nervous.
And the first person joining Ashley (who we have YET to see) in the bottom three will be……
I’m guessing Billy’s thoughts at this moment are a little something like, “What the fuck do I have to do to get you fuckers to vote for me?!?!?”
Mia doesn’t get it, she doesn’t think he should be in the bottom. She tells him to keep going in the direction he’s going which seem counterproductive to me since what he’s doing seems to be sending him right out the door. Am I missing something?
You never mind about the voters, don’t change a thing.
Time for Robert and Jose.
I’m sure you can all guess who I’m hoping is in the bottom. Actually, truth be told, I’d really like for them both to be in the bottom, but since that’s not going to happen, I’ll just have to settle for……..
Argh!!!!!!! Why the fuck is Billy in the bottom and not Robert? You are pissing me off America.
Cat goes over to Adam for his comments. He asks Jose how he feels about making it so far in the competition. It’s an honor, it’s great. And he’s expected to be in the bottom every week. Adam says the reality is that this is what he’s signed up for and now he knows what he has to do, so go out there and compete.
You know you’re going home if Ashley’s okay, right?
While Billy and Jose get ready to perform their solos, it’s time for another guest performance. This time it’s Jamal Roberts and Rachel McLaren from Alvin Ailey. They will be performing an excerpt from Ulysses Dove’s Bad Blood.
Oh my god! Their music was Laurie Anderson’s “Gravity Angel”. I absolutely love Laurie Anderson! Yay! I love this performance and it reminds me that I need to go to more dance performances. Love it, love it, love it.
Time for this week’s all star reprise. This time it’s Twitch and Comfort reprising their Dave Scott hip hop routine.
I think this routine may have actually been better now than it was on their actual season. I don’t remember liking it this much during their original performance.
Solo time! Billy is first.
And he’s as great as he usually is. I mean, there’s no question this kid is not in the bottom because of his dancing. I just can’t believe people like him less than Robert. There are some fucked up people watching this show.
I like him, he seem like a sweet kid who really wants to learn, but he doesn’t cut it for me here. I think about some of the great b-boys we’ve had on this show, and he doesn’t really come close to someone like Hok, or Ryan. Or Legacy. I mean, Dominic may be annoying but that boy can fucking dance.
So the judges must go off and make their decision (of the doctors didn’t make it for them). While we’re waiting, Cat has a special surprise for us. She reminds us that we’ve been subjected to many TV debuts on this show, among them Katy Perry and Lady GagMe. Time for another. Yay us.
Today’s future superstar is former waitress Christina Perry singing “Jar of Hearts”. Thankfully we will also have Allison and Neil dancing so there’s that.
I actually sort of like this song. And I love watching Allison and Neil dance; I wish they hadn’t cut away from them so much.
It’s now time for the judges to tell us who will be staying and who will be going. Ashley is actually on stage so there might be hope. Nigel tells us the judges’ decision is unanimous.
Jose, step forward. Nigel says he could really see Jose fighting to stay on the program during his solo. He thought it was quite stunning. He tells Jose to step back and Billy to step forward. The judges all think he is on the right path, but points out that he went back to his default tonight. He tells him we all know the develope is fantastic, but it won’t bring him in any more votes at this point. He urges him to continue on the road he’s on.
Ashley, step forward. Nigel says he’s spoken to both of her doctors, and they both say she needs between three to five weeks of rest. Therefore he has to let her go this week.
He believes if she’s going to do the tour, which by the way will include dancers from season six, season seven, and the all stars, she needs to get better. So they are letting her go this week. So, Nigel……is she invited back next season as well?
I’m sorry…..I didn’t hear you. I’m a bit deaf in that ear.
Huh. It’s strange, isn’t it? That there’s no mention of Ashely coming back next season? I mean, if Alex is invited back because of his injury, shouldn’t the same apply to Ashley?
After her goodbye montage, Cat asks her how she feels at this exact moment and how disappointed is she?
How the fuck do you think I feel, Cat? What a stupid fucking question.
She says this has been the most amazing experience and it hurts that she has to leave like this. And then she says she’s sorry, and Cat is as awesome as ever because she tells Ashley not to say she’s sorry to us, she tried her hardest and we loved having her in the competition.
And there you have it, Gasmi. Another dancer done in by an injury. What did you think about this week’s shows? Are you wondering now if this season’s winner will simply be the one that makes it through without an injury? Where do think Robert will strike next time? Were you glad to see Jose finally in the bottom?
Apologies again for the extreme tardiness of the recap this week; I promise next week will be back on track. Until then….
PS – this week’s LXD episode is called Robot LoveStory; if you haven’t seen it yet you should definitely check it out. Awesome dancing!