SYTYCD: Bring On The All-Stars

Cat tells us it’s been a whirlwind journey and now there are only ten dancers left in the picture.  The pressure is on as they split from their partners and dance with the all-stars.  Welcome.  To So You Think You Can Dance (dance….dance)!

After the dancer intro, Cat comes out to tell us that not only will the top ten be dancing with all-stars; they will also each be performing a solo.  And then, for the first time this season, you will be able to vote for your favorite individual dancer.  Excited?

Yup.

Neil shows off his judging posture and says he’s so excited to be here because he’s a huge fan of the show.  If he’s half as awesome as Jesse I’ll be a happy camper.  He really loves how this show has brought dance into the living rooms of America.  Me too, Neil, me too.

Cat’s not pussyfooting around anymore, we’ve got ten routines AND solos to get through, so let’s get this party started!  Marko is going to be the first to perform and he has drawn Chelsie Hightower as his all-star.  Together, they will be performing a samba choreographed by Jason Gilkison.

Jason tells us this dance is the story of a photographer and his muse.  She’s a fame whore who wants her picture taken all the time.  Fun!

They do a really good job with this.  Marko does a great job of partnering her and I think he really gets the flavor of the samba here.  It’s hard because I think her part of it is much flashier, but I still like what he’s bringing to the table.  Also, I still hate all the kissing going on in routines.  Completely unnecessary.

Cat tries to talk to Chelsie afterward and she is really out of breath.  Basically she’s happy to be back.  Thanks for that Chelsie!

Neil says it was so dirty.

Get me some soap, stat.

He thinks it was a heck of a way to start the show, amazing.  Neil tells Marko he’s unbelievable and has been great to watch from the beginning.  He tells him he dances with such precision and he’s cool and symmetrical, he thinks he is the guy to beat at this point.

Mary yells that Marko is the real deal out there.

I will shout it from the rooftops!!!

She spazzes out so much her earring falls off.  She says he is turning out to be so versatile and it will not surprise her at all if he ends up in that finale.  She throws out a bunch of technical samba turns to make the point that he was really working it.

Nigel loves that they watched him falter in rehearsals, even getting kicked in the head, and yet somehow he has the courage to pull it off seamlessly in this performance.

It’s called REHEARSING, jackass.

I mean let’s be honest here, we always see them faltering during the rehearsals and more often than not they are able to pull it together before the actual show.  It’s not like this is some unprecedented thing.  He talks about how they have liked him as part of his pair all season and says that tonight he hasn’t lost any of his chemistry.  He’s lost a really good partner, but hey, he’s Dancing With the Stars.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Time for the first solo of the evening.  Let’s take a look at Sasha.

I really enjoyed this.  It was nice to see more than just the typical leaps, turns, and developpes that we’ve seen far too much of so far this season.  Nice.  No word from the judges, so I guess we’re only getting comments on the partnered routines.  No complaints from me on that one!

Next up is Stripperella paired up with Brandon.  They are lucky enough to get to work with Dwight Rhoden and Desmond Richardson on a contemporary piece.  The piece is about the highs and lows of love and unsurprisingly we’re told how challenging the routine is.  I wonder if Nigel will be surprised when they pull it off.

Wow, you guys.  I think this is the first time I have actually REALLY liked watching Jordan perform.  So much in fact that I think I owe it to her to use her real name for once.  I loved this piece.  Her technique is spot on and for whatever reason Dwight and Desmond were able to bring something out of her that I for one haven’t seen before.  I’m blown away by her right now.

Mary starts with a shout out to Brandon and says she is so happy to see him back on that stage again.  I can’t argue with her on that one.  And then she tells Jordan she was fieress tonight.  Again, with the fieress!!  That’s not a fucking word Mary!

Prove it!

She says Dwight and Desmond just schooled us in how fabulous she is.  She is just fantastic.

Nigel says that Dwight and Desmond are quite simply two of the world’s best contemporary choreographers.  He talks about how Mary has said they played to her strengths, but he thinks that she doesn’t have many weaknesses.  It gave them the opportunity to of being able to choreograph exactly what they wanted to (unlike last week when Spencer found out she couldn’t do acro).

He points out that she’s been in the bottom for a couple of weeks now and tells the dance fans to wake up and keep her in the competition.

Don’t make me spank you, America!

Neil agrees with Mary and Nigel and says he was breathing deeply as he was watching it.  He also talks about how he was watching their expressions because he is a big face guy.  I get what he’s saying because I always zone in on the face too and often that’s what can really bug me or send me over the edge about a dancer.  It’s part of what I loved about her performance here as well.  He could not take his eyes off of her the entire number.

Which, come on!  It’s sort of unbelievable.  I mean, have you seen Brandon’s ass?

Jess is up next for his solo.

I wish he didn’t annoy the piss out of me because he’s a really good dancer.  Maybe the costume department can put a paper bag over his head for the remainder of the season?  And when he’s trying to be cute it’s even worse.

Don’t encourage him, Cat.

Tadd is up next and has gotten hip hop with Chuck Maldonado, dancing with Comfort.  UGH.  I am not a fan of Comfort’s.  Why can’t they get Sarah back?  It’s so irritating that there aren’t really strong women hip hoppers on the show.  I AM very happy to see Tadd do hip hop though.

Chuck tells us this number is a hardcore hip hop routine because he really wants to put him out there in the limelight.  There’s talk about Comfort needing to be gutter sexy and whether or not Tadd has swag.  I just want to get to the dancing.

I am not a big fan of the song choice, but I really love Tadd in this number.  He fucking killed it.  I remain unimpressed with Comfort.

Nigel says there was no time to think it that routine; it was like listening to Mary talking.  He wants everyone to remember that Tadd is a b-boy and there is not the choreography brain for them and yet he does everything well that they throw at him; he thinks he outdanced his all-star there.

Neil thinks he was amazing and it’s so fun to watch him.  He brings up that they’re doing a musical number on an upcoming How I Met Your Mother and Spencer is choreographing.

Nice plug, Neil.

Anyway, there’s a smidge of hip hop in it and he feels like the dumbest person in the world trying to do it.  He loves it and has great respect for hip hop now.  DOPE!!  Now Neil, it’s not nice to call Nigel names.

Mary says Tadd is something special; he hit this out of the ball park.  It was fired out of the cannon and he didn’t let up for one second.  She tells him he had swagger for days.  Ghettolicious.  I just love it when Mary tries to be hip, don’t you?

Time for another solo, this time it’s Melanie’s turn.

LOVE THIS GIRL.  I know I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know.  LOVE.

It’s Mitchell’s turn with his all-star.  He’s got Melody from season one and Sir BitchyPants for a Broadway number.  WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? This time Sir BitchyPants will desecrate one of my favorite songs from All That Jazz, “Take Off With Us”.  I immediately know he’s going to ruin it because that’s just what he does.

UGH.  Even knowing he was going to ruin it doesn’t keep the rage at bay.  I can never comprehend why anyone would let him choreograph Broadway!!!!  I wish Bob Fosse would rise from the grave and smack him right in his face.  I am not even joking.

Wanna see the original?

Take Off With Us

See why I hate Sir BitchyPants SOOOOOOO much?

Neil does not like it at all.  He says he didn’t get it and says it all seemed very disjointed and not incredibly thought out as a piece.

Why does Nigel let Sir BitchyPants choreograph Broadway routines?

Gasmi, I fucking love Neil Patrick Harris right now.  He is totally dissing Sir BitchyPants in his critique and I am LOVING every second of it.  THANK YOU for saying what we all have been thinking for years!!!!!!

Mary thinks the number was a lot of fun.  Keep in mind that Mary loves cheese.  She thinks the facials were a bit too much but she sure does love Mitchell.  Nigel thinks that when you do the Fosse-esque type of Broadway it’s all in the style.  He thinks Mitchell overegged the pudding.  I don’t know what cooking has to do with anything here.

Yikes!  Don’t demonstrate for us Nigel!

Lord, his “sexy” face is more terrifying than Ryan’s was!  I love how he blames the lack of style on Mitchell when we all really know whose fault it is.  ALWAYS.

Let’s try to scrub this one from our brains by watching Ricky’s solo.

It’s another strong solo from Ricky.  I wish I could get more excited about him because he’s really good, but there’s something holding me back on this kid.  I can’t figure out what it is.

Up next is Clarice with her solo.

YAWN.  I feel like I’ve seen this solo a bunch of times already this season.  I know we haven’t seen her dance, but there is that sense of SAMENESS that so many of the girls’ solos have.  I’m bored.

The next partnered dance will be Caitlynn and Pasha.  Lucky girl!  They will be tackling a tango choreographed by Miriam and Leonardo.  Meow!!!

Man, I could watch Pasha dance all day.

Uhhhhh…what about me?

Oh come one.  You know I’d sit and watch you all WEEK Hugh.  Don’t get jealous.

Anyway, I think Caitlynn did a really good job here.  It’s funny because there were moments in this dance where she didn’t even look like herself; she looked older, more worldly.  This was a good one for me.

Mary gives them a standing ovation.  The other judges do not.  She says it was the first Argentine tango of the season and it was certainly worth the wait.  She tells Caitlynn she was breathtaking and loves the passion she showed in the routine.  She thinks Caitlynn just took her dancing to another level.

Nigel agrees.  He thinks tonight she was a woman and far sexier than anything they’ve seen from her so far.

I can still feel the boner you gave me

He’s so gross.  He loves that he felt like a voyeur looking in on them.  PERV.

Neil says it started out a little slow for him but then he was suddenly zoning into it and it felt like great theater.  He says she keyed right in with Pasha and they were in sync throughout the routine.  He says it’s the first time he’s ever wanted to learn the Argentine tango.

Can Pasha teach me?

Et tu, Neil? Et tu?

Mitchell’s solo is next.

I wanna know what possessed him to wear something resembling an adult diaper.  It’s all I could focus on while he was dancing.  You know, his solos are fine, I guess, but he’s another one that just bores me.  Yes, he can do a bunch of stuff, but I can’t ever seem to connect with him.

Let’s move on to Sasha.  She is being paired up with Twitch for a Christopher Scott hip hop piece.  Christopher tells us this routine is about a couple stuck in a routine rut.  She’s had enough and wants the passion back.

WOW.  I don’t normally get all hot under the collar for Twitch, but that man was sexy as hell in this routine.  YOWZA.  I really love that Christopher used a bluesy slow song for this but didn’t cop out and choreograph a lyrical piece with a couple of hip hop moves thrown in.  He did a great job mapping out the piece and Sasha and Twitch NAILED IT.

Nigel can barely speak.

I think all the blood rushed to his crotch.

He says all he got for breakfast was cornflakes.  Cat wonders if they were soggy and Nigel says they were after that routine.  EWWWWWWWWWW.  He didn’t actually mean it to be gross and gets a little embarrassed when he realizes what he said.  See what happens when you’re a dirty old man all the time?

He talks about the routine Twitch did with Alex last year and how memorable it was, and says this one is memorable as well.  He says this is the first time he’s seen Sasha with chemistry with her partner and points out that she is not hip hop.  He thinks she nailed it.

Neil thinks this is the best routine so far of this year.  He says Christopher is so amazing at what he does and the show is so lucky to have him.  Ya just know Sir BitchyPants is crying a little inside right now.  He thinks this was spectacular.  He really hopes this number is done on tour and says they should dance every dance together.

Mary says she needs to call the sheriff, the fire department, and the paramedics.  Why?

So I can say a bunch of inane things.

She says as much as she loves Twitch she really loved Sasha in the number.  She tells Sasha that SHE is an all-star tonight.

Next up is Stripperella’s solo.

I’m impressed that she actually listened to the judges and did more than just lift her leg the entire time.  It feels so strange to be liking her tonight.  I feel like I’ve woken up in an alternate universe.

The next dancer up is Jess.  He is partnered with Kathryn for a Stacey Tookey contemporary piece.  Stacey says this piece is about not being able to see what is right in front of your eyes.  Kathryn is dealing with loneliness and Jess is there to comfort her but she doesn’t see him.  Jess brings up the whole lift issue he’s been having and don’tchaknow there are a crapload of lifts in this routine.  Stacey says Kathryn can practically levitate so he if he’s got a problem here he’s REALLY got a problem.

Does Jess have a bubble butt or just a tendency to stick his ass out while dancing?   I can’t tell.  Jess handles the lifts in this routine well, and I think this is a really good illustration that what the girl does in the lifts is just as important as what the guy does.  It makes me wonder how much experience Clarice had with partnering as well.

Anyway, I like the routine; Stacey does a beautiful job on the choreography.  But it does seem to me that this piece seems more like Kathryn’s than Jess’.  Also?  His face continues to irritate me.

Neil says he thinks it was an extraordinarily well designed performance by Stacey; he always thinks her work is spectacular.  He tells Jess that sometimes his face is a little muggy and says it can be a turnoff.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

He wants him to remember to be present and as sincere as possible, even throughout the show.  He thinks Jess is incredible but really wants him to watch the face.  You guys, I think I might love NPH.

Mary thinks it was extraordinary as well and her favorite piece that Jess has done so far.  She loved everything about this piece and him in it.

Nigel felt sorry for Jess saying he had more lifts than Joan Rivers face.

Please leave the jokes to, well, Joan Rivers.

Everyone groans.  DUH.  He thinks Jess coped with the lifts brilliantly and says Stacey has a great way of putting emotion into her routines.  Oh, and by the way, she’s Emmy nominated.  He’s so annoying.  Nigel thinks this is Jess’ best work to date.

Let’s take a look at Tadd’s solo.

I like add a lot but this was not a great solo.  I don’t think he’s got anything to worry about though because I think a ton of people really like him.  I’d just love to see him really bust something awesome out.

Next up we have Melanie.  She’s got Pasha (YUM) and they will be performing a Viennese waltz choreographed by Jason Gilkison.  He tells us that in the piece Melanie is the rock, nurturing Pasha and guiding him along.  She hopes to show the audience that there is always someone in your life that will be there.

Seriously?  Pasha should never be allowed to wear a shirt on this program.  NEVER.  Okay.  Now that I’ve gotten myself together…..that was really beautiful.  I talk all the time about effortlessness and this routine really had that.  I love how the movements flowed together so beautifully; I could easily watch it a dozen more times.

Mary says Nigel was just asking her if she thought Pasha was putting a bit of weight on.  Cat says that’s jealousy talking.  Mary is jealous that Melanie got to dance with Pasha.

I’ll be stalking that boy later!

She loved the piece and says it seemed like Melanie’s feet never touched the floor; it felt like she was floating throughout that routine.  She doesn’t know how she does it, but she does it like it’s something she’s done her entire life.  She is at the top of the leaderboard as far as Mary is concerned.

Nigel agrees, saying it was like a master class of lifting technique.  He loved the flow of movement and that it didn’t stop.  He says it’s funny how choreographers use her as the rock and it’s because she is a solid, brilliant dancer.

Neil says it’s crazy that they are talking about lifting the entire time because to him it didn’t seem like there was a lift in the routine at all, the movement was just so effortless.

Can we hang out, me, you and Jesse, and all watch together?  PLEASE?????

He says he always cringes for the Viennese waltz because he thinks it will be their downfall.  Obviously not this time.  He says sometimes when he watches the show he thinks they are like superhero people.  Melanie reminds him of someone from the past but she dances like she is from the future.  She is easily his favorite dancer on the show.

Caitlynn’s got the last girls’ solo of the night.

Nothing earth shattering here.  She does a really good job, but once again, I feel like I’ve seen it before.  Sigh.

It’s Ricky’s turn and he’s been paired with Allison.  They will be doing a contemporary piece choreographed by Sir BitchyPants.  I’m still mad at him for that pile of dogshit earlier tonight.  So this piece is about a bad dream.  Allison wakes up and he whispers to her that he is her worst nightmare.  Oh, so it’s Sir BitchyPants’ attempt at something like Mia’s addiction piece, right?

I feel once again like this piece was more the girl’s than her partner’s.  I think Ricky got outdanced here.  You know, there’s a way to be dark and creepy and I think he tried, but he just didn’t do it for me.  Honestly, it DID remind me of addiction in a small way, but all it did was make me want to see that piece again.  What about you?

Addiction

See?  That for me was so moving and Kupono really nailed the darkness in his character while not taking away from Kayla’s emotion.  It’s funny because I wasn’t crazy about either one of them but I sure did LOVE them in this piece.

Nigel loves it when Sir BitchyPants is free like this rather than when he does the Broadway style.  Well……stop calling him to do that then ya jackass!!!  He’s not going to say that Ricky outdanced his all-star (good, because he didn’t by a longshot) but he does think he kept up with Allison.

Wrong

Neil liked it.  He says that week after week he finds himself thinking that Ricky dances young, but this time around he really responded to what Ricky did here.  He thinks Ricky is showing some great strength and says to keep it up.

Mary says normally she calls Sir BitchyPants Dr. Feelgood because his routines are so full of fun.

She’s a little touched in the head

She thinks this one was deliciously dark and Ricky really brought it tonight.  It was spectacular.  Woo!

Last solo of the evening belongs to Marko.

Love this guy.  I wasn’t completely blown away, but I really like the musicality in his solo and he’s another one I could easily watch over and over.

We’re down to the last routine of the night.  Clarice has been paired up with Robert for a Bollywood routine choreographed by Nakul (DOY).  HE says it’s a basic story of boy and girl playing cat and mouse; there might be a kiss in there too.  Oh goody.  You know how much I love that shit.

It was okay, I guess.  I hate the kissing part (naturally), but it wasn’t terrible.  It was a fun number, but I think at this point Clarice really needed something that was going to make people’s jaws drop.  This wasn’t that.

The judges give it a standing ovation which is just ridiculous as far as I’m concerned.  Neil loved it and says it was incredibly infectious.  He’s had some trouble connecting to her over the course of this season, and midway through this she opened up and became more alive for him (after the kiss).

Mary thinks Nakul always brings it down and thinks it was intricate and hard to do.  She says it was so much fun and perfect for her.  She couldn’t have done it any better.

Nigel agrees, saying it was like a hand fitting into a glove; a perfect fit for her.  He says it’s one of those things that he loves the style of because it just makes him happy.  He doesn’t even think about the dancing; he just enjoys it.

Can I get an amen?

Nope.

And that’s the show, Gasmi.  What did you think?  Do you think the all-stars adding a little extra spice to the mix?  What did you think of the solos?  Any favorites now that they’ve been separated from their original partners?

As always, please wait to discuss the results until the results recap is posted.  I am working on it now and will get it posted as soon as possible.  Also, I will be away this coming week, so Flipit will be having someone sub in for me on my recaps.  I’m not sure who yet, but I know they’ll take great care of you while I’m gone.  See you in the results cap!!

SWAK, PottyMouth