SYTYCD: Filler, Filler, Filler. Winner.

Well Gasmi, here we are.  Well, here we almost are.  Before we find out who the winner is this season we will first have to wade through a bunch of filler.  Some seasons this isn’t so bad, some seasons it’s torture.  This time it’s middle of the road (just like the rest of the season).

Ready to find out who our winner is?  Buckle up buttercups, THIS.  Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…..dance)!

No glimpse of Cat yet as we launch right into a brand new top twenty group number!

Cat comes out looking super sassy in a red sequined dress.

Looking good, Cat!

I’m so happy she looks good tonight; it’s never fun to rag on Cat’s outfit on finale night.  Cat does a quick audience applause/scream test to try and gauge which way the wind is blowing, and it seems to be coming down to Sasha and Melanie.  But who knows?  The studio audience isn’t necessarily the best barometer of how the viewers at home voted.

The judges’ table is jammed packed tonight.  We’ve got Nigel and Mary (of course), plus Lil C, Jokerface Antin (WHY????????), Sir BitchyPants (BARF), Sonya, and Jesse Ferguson (WOO HOO!).  Once the judges have been properly identified, Cat brings out the final four to get a tongue bathing from the judges.  Hope they have time for a quick shower before they have to perform again; Nigel saliva is notoriously difficult to get off.

Have you seen the Batman?

When it’s his turn to talk, Nigel apologizes to the guys which makes me immediately turn to my sister and say, “Well, I guess it’s officially a girl winner.” There is NO WAY he would apologize if that wasn’t the case.  Just wait, you’ll see.

DICK

UGH.  I can’t stand him.  Once we get done hearing from the panel, Cat wants to show us a recap of the season.  I’ve already watched it once; I don’t need to relive the auditions, Vegas and everything else.  FF.  Almost five minutes later, it’s time to start the judges’ filler favorites.  Mary’s the first to pick and she chooses Sasha and Kent’s wall dance, saying this number hit a real emotional chord with her.

Kent is still better than Sasha.  I still find the most interesting parts of this dance to be when Kent propels off the wall.  Don’t get me wrong, Sasha’s still good here; I just found myself watching Kent more than I watched her.

The judges all give them a standing ovation.  Well, everyone but Nigel because he’s a twatwaffle.  I begin to be annoyed with him until something catches my eye…..

What the fuck are Mary and Sonya wearing?!?!?!?!?

Does Mary think she’s in a remake of Gone with the Wind?  Why is Sonya dressed in a large neon green lampshade?  Is Jokerface mad that no one forwarded her the giant skirt memo?

We take a quick break and come back to an ad for Gatorade.  Blah, blah, blah.

Have you scrubbed the images of Nigel and Mary kissing from your brain?  Get ready for more scrubbing because apparently someone feels like it’s necessary to make us all relieve that again.  BARF.  Can we watch the Gatorade commercial again?

Nigel needs to stop including clips of himself in these shows.  No one wants to watch your shenanigans again, Nigel!!

Speaking of Nigel, it’s his turn to pick a favorite routine.  He chooses Melanie and Marko’s hip hop routine.  You know, the one with the kiss in it.  Oh, I guess the whole Mary and Nigel kissing nonsense was supposed to be a segue into this?  FAIL.

That costume is still atrocious.  The dance however still makes me smile.  It makes me remember how much I liked them as a pairing, but I still wonder if she had been paired with Tadd what kind of magic THAT could have been.

We move on now to Jokerface.  God, she is so fucking scary looking; I’ll probably have nightmares tonight.  Thanks a lot, NIGEL.  Anyway, scaring looking doesn’t necessarily mean bad taste, because she picks one of my favorite number of the season.  It’s Tadd and Lauren dancing to “Another One Bites the Dust”.

I don’t know what the fuck is happening in Philly but my station just cut off the end of that dance!!!!!!!!!  FUCKERS.  Now I have to go watch it again so I can see the whole thing.

Another One Bites the Dust

Well, that almost made it better except for the fact that it was even better tonight because Tadd’s hat didn’t fall off.  Now I’ll never have a full version of the dance with no hat mishap.  FUCK YOU FOX & DR. OZ!!!!!

Anyway, I love this routine.  I think it really shows off why so many of us loved Tadd this season.  He’s been so good at adapting to styles outside of his own, and in a sense he was really the only one that had to do consistently.  Almost every dance he got was outside of his own genre and he rose to each occasion and in most cases, killed it.  LOVE YOU TADD!!!!

We come back from this break and there is a slight technical mishap which Cat attributes to Gremlins.  I love Cat; she always knows what to say, doesn’t she?

Never ignore Nigel.  Never feed Nigel after midnight.  And most importantly, NEVER give Nigel a boner.

I promise, Cat.

Before we get to more dancing, Cat wants to remind us of all the strange storylines the choreographers come up with.  Cue Montage O’Stupid Storylines.  As annoying as I usually find the non-dance filler, I actually thought that was cute.  It shows just how ridiculous they get sometimes.

Time for another favorite dance pick.  This time Lil C gets to choose and his pick is the woodpecker dance performed by Woobert and Miranda.  Really, Lil C??????

Eh.  He still annoys me.  Hey!  I don’t remember if I (or one of our commenters) told y’all this, but Miranda danced at Jabby Lee Miller’s studio.  How funny is that?  After the dance Woobert does some wooing bullcrap as if I needed any reminder of why he aggravated me before.  FYI Woobert…..no reminder necessary.  Thanks.

Cat gets to choose a routine!  YAY CAT!  Oh.  She chooses a Sir BitchyPants’ dance.  It’s the weirdo circus one

I don’t understand his creepy obsession with clowns nor do I want to.  I do want to know why they put Tadd in a convict striped onesie and skunkified hair.  Yikes.  It should also be noted that it strongly appears that this particular dance was rebroadcast and not danced live.  Either that, or Cat can magically transport herself to exactly where she was before it began with no trace of the steps or ropes behind her.  She’s good, but I don’t think she’s THAT good.

You have no idea.

Time for a guest performer.  SYTYCDUK winner Matt Flint gets to perform on SYTYCD US as part of his prize.  I hope the rest of his prize is something better than that!  He’s a tapper and so they’ve brought in Nick and Jesse to dance with him.  NICK!!!!!!!

Michael Boobley remade “Can’t Buy Me Love?”  ARGH.  This was a really great number which also causes me to get pissed off all over again at Nick’s early ouster.  It’s nice to see that a tapper can do well on one of the versions of this show.

As Mary gets ready for another routine pick, Nigel interrupts to say he thinks that was one of the most exciting tap routines he has ever seen.  And then he compares it to the Nicholas Brothers.  HORSESHIT.  Listen, that routine was fun and I loved it, but I hate when he pulls crap like this.  It’s like when he compares someone to Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire or Cyd Charisse.  Sorry, NO.

If you’ve never experienced the Nicholas Brothers, here’s a couple of links to get you started.

Nicholas Brothers

AND

More Nicholas Brothers

So now that he’s done pontificating, Mary gets to pick another routine.  This time she chooses Melanie dancing with Neil to “Total Eclipse of the Heart”.

This is another routine that I absolutely LOVE.  That leap into his arms was so breathtaking the first time around, and it was completely nerve-wracking the second time around.  Knowing it was coming, I was biting my nails, praying nothing would go wrong.  I think this is another one that I’d love to watch again.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Jesse’s up next and he picks Marko and Allison’s “make my mommy cry because I was a spoiled brat who never wanted to apologize but finally did on national TV” dance.

This is another really good one despite the fact that I can’t help but think of his mom crying in the audience and backstage every time I see it.

Sir BitchyPants follows up Jesse’s pick with another Sonya-choreographed routine.  This time around it’s the top ten girls’ GEISHA number!!  LOVE THIS ONE!!

I really do love that number.

Now it’s time for a recap of the final performance show.  We just watched it, Cat!  Of course that’s just a time killer before she brings out the top four for the first results of the evening.

Oooooooo! I can tell from the outfits that we’re getting the top ten guys’ routine too!  Weeeee!!

And the person that came in fourth place this season is………

Awww.  I’m sad to see Tadd go out fourth.  Not surprised, just sad.  I would have liked to have seen him place a little higher.  He handles the news with his customary charm, and I think this kid has great things ahead of him.  Love ya, Tadd!

We take a quick break, and then it’s back to more dancing.  Lil C gets a second choice and blows it once again by picking “Please Mr. Jailer”.  Really?????

I still maintain the movie version of this number is better.  Also, if there was any doubt in my mind that these numbers are NOT picked by the judges, it is now gone.  No way Lil C picked this.

Oh YES!  Cat mentions that they added another routine to the show – this time a new top four number!  OH YEAH.

Oh no.  It’s a lame ass fakeout.  Instead of dancing for our pleasure, they head out to watch Glee 3D.  POO.  I should have seen that coming.

It’s Nigel’s turn to pick again.  He picks Sasha and Twitch’s AWESOME hip hop routine.

Twitch brings awesomeness to all his hip hop routines.  This was also great for Sasha, and really was the only time I think she fully trusted one of her partners.

Sonya finally gets a choice and she’s bringing back the AWESOME Christopher Scott top ten guys’ routine.

LOVE that number.  Christopher Scott is THE MAN.

Jesse gets to “choose” again and his pick this time around is Caitlynn’s & Pasha’s Argentine Tango.  He is adorable even when having to announce filler dances, and renames Miriam and Leonardo to “Meerkat & Leorardums”.  I hope he comes back again next season.

Mary’s getting another pick?  Isn’t this like her THIRD pick?  I don’t stay mad for too long though because she chooses Melanie and Marko’s statue dance.  YAY!

I love this dance so much, but I do think it loses a little something without the white makeup.  Not a lot, just a little.  Don’t you think?

Statue Dance

Time for more results which means that it’s most likely that Marko or Melanie will be leaving.

Knew it.

See?  I knew Nigel apologized because he knew a girl won.  Marko’s good bye montage includes clips of his mom crying.  Oy.  He’s a really good dancer (and seems like a really sweet guy) and I’m sure we’ll see him again.

Time for the last judges’ pick.  But wait.  Before Nigel announces the dance, he first wants to give a shout out to the lighting guy and the director of the show.

Congrats for washing out the dancers and calling for choppy camera work!

But wait.  There’s more.  Nigel is also pissed about some article in the NY Times.  Have you read it?  INSERT LINK.  I think it’s pretty funny that they knock a lot of the show (some of which I happen to agree with) but all say they would appear on the show.  I guess everyone wants to be on TV.

Anyway, Nigel has his panties in a twist over the article and says they’re taking a load of crap.  These two young ladies put them to shame.  It’s Melanie and Sasha performing their Sonya “Game On” piece.

This was a good piece.  I’m not sure it quite blew me away the way it seems to have done for a lot of people, but I liked it very much.  I wish they had chosen a Melanie/Tadd routine to reshow here tonight.

Anyway, it’s that time, Gasmi.  Time to find out who the winner of season eight will be.  Cat gives us a recap of the journey both the girls have been on through the season, and then……..our season eight winner is……………………………..

YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As usual, it sucks to be second because you don’t even get a goodbye montage.  All you get is a face full of flowers and an escort off the stage.

Cat asks if there’s anything Melanie would like to say.  “Thank you.”  I love this girl.

I’m sure you all know I am happy at this result.  I said from the very first time I saw her that I thought she had it in her to win, and I am glad that she did it.  Is she the best dancer ever on this show?  No, I don’t think so.  I think she is the best contemporary girl dancer they have ever had here, and even though she was not given much outside of her comfort zone, I would gladly watch this girl dance for hours on end.

That said, I really hope Nigel brings back the diversity that made this show so great.  I miss seeing someone like Pasha kill it in a hip hop, or Sarah bust it out in a Wade jazz routine.  Shit, give me Dominic in a Rumba, Ivan dancing contemporary or Danny in ANYTHING.  PLEASE NIGEL, cast more than just contemporary dancers and really challenge them all again.  PLEASE.

And there you have it, Gasmi.  That’s the season.  What did you think?  Were you happy with a Melanie win?  Or would you have rather seen someone else take it?  Is there anything on your wish list for next season?  I hope you’ve had as much fun reading as I’ve had writing these for you.  You guys are THE SHIT.

I hope I’ll see you over at my Dance Moms recaps, or maybe you’ll stop by and chat over at Top Chef: Just Desserts.  Either way, don’t be strangers!

SWAK, PottyMouth

Come back.  Come back.  Don’t leave me, come back.

Oh Hugh, just look outside your window.  I’ll be stalking you all fall and winter.  You know that, silly.