I knew it. I knew the decision to send no one home last week would end up pissing me off this week. If I had a dick I would tell Nigel to suck it. God, he pisses me off and the fact that he refuses to even entertain the fact that what he did was complete bullshit and fucked up is making me even madder.
Just found the perfect Christmas gift for him.
Well, bitching about what an asshole Nigel is isn’t going to get this recap written, so I guess we should get started on the show, huh?
As always, we start with a group number.
I am not a fan of this number. I appreciate that it was a different sort of concept, but I thought it was really boring. At first I was thinking it was maybe done by Stacy or maybe even Sir BitchyPants, but when Cat comes out she tells us it was choreographed by Dave Scott.
Sorry Dave, this one was a miss for me.
Cat reminds us that tonight four dancers will be going home. She wants us to feel sorry for the judges because they will have some tough choices ahead of them, but they created this mess (not Debbie, she’s excluded here) and so they can suck it up and deal with the consequences of last week’s actions.
Cat wants to know if Debbie’s happy to be here, is she having a good time?
Cat wants to get right into the results, knowing she’ll need extra time later when we have to say good bye to four dancers. Let’s bring out the first group.
So, in this group I think the no brainer is that Missy and Wadi will be in the bottom and everyone else will be safe, but we all k now that the voters like to throw us all a curve ball sometimes. Cat starts out with Missy and Wadi and for a minute I think my no brainer guess is wrong, but…….
I’m fine with that considering the terrible Cha Cha they performed last night. With these two in the bottom, Caitlynn and Mitchell and Sasha and Alexander are all safe. I’m also fine with that because even though neither of their dances blew me away, they weren’t terrible either.
Plus Caitlynn has to be given some points for taking one to the face and not missing a beat.
Poor thing still has a mark on her nose.
After this set of results we take a quick break and then, instead of moving on to more results, Cat wants Nigel to tell us all what the dancers are competing for. Uh, I think we know that by now Cat! Oh. Wait. It’s the Gatorade thing again. So I guess we’re really still in a commercial break.
Gatorade gives me a boner.
Well, really the money they’re spending on a corporate sponsorship is giving him a boner. Now I’ve spent too much time talking about Nigel’s boner. I think I’m going to be sick.
Anyway, Nigel waxes poetic about the sports drink for a while and talk about how Lauren has been in their ad campaign and the next winner will as well. As part of their support for the show, Gatorade is providing the dancers with nutrition advice.
Don’t eat this junk
Buy this junk instead
Seriously? That lady just lectured them on fucking Ritz crackers? These kids dance for how many hours a day? I think they can eat some stinking crackers if they want some. Shut it, Gatorlady!
Time for more results.
Well, there are two couples I’d like to see from this group in the bottom, but they both did pretty well last night. Ugh, I just KNOW Woobert is going to be safe and that mother fucker should have already been sent home!
Melanie and Marko are also safe and I’m glad because I still love them even though I did not like their dance last night at all.
So now we’re left with Stripperella and Tadd and Iveta and Nick in this group. I’m hoping Stripperella is in the bottom because she irritates me and I think Tadd could pull it out for himself if he’s in the bottom. But they danced better than Nick and Iveta, so I’m a little worried here.
With good reason it would seem.
Plthft. Not happy.
Time for the last three couples to find out their fate.
Gawd. Really any of these three couples could be in the bottom and I wouldn’t care too much. I’m not all that fond of any of them, and a couple are annoying as hell.
Cat tells Chris and Ashley they’re safe first, and again, I didn’t hate their routine so I’m not annoyed about it. I still think they’re one of the weakest couples here, but I guess they lucked out this week. Let’s hope this doesn’t turn into a trend.
So it will be between Jess and Clarice and Ryan and Ricky. Both have one dancer that many people find to be really irritating. But which one is the irritatingest of all?
Next time she should try to avoid using her sexy look.
I tried to give her lessons, but it didn’t help at all.
Oh Cat, you can’t do everything!
Before we get to the solos, it’s time for our first musical guest of the evening. Rage Crew will be performing; you might remember them since they’ve performed here before…..remember? They’re all kids and teenagers?
I have a friend that was losing her mind over the makeup and outfits worn by the girls. For me, I guess I’m a little desensitized from stuff I’ve seen at competition. I mean, really, the makeup these girls wore was less than most dance teams I’ve seen at competition, and sadly, their costumes had more to them than a lot I have seen as well.
As far as the dancing, I thought they did a good job; I especially loved the little girl in the front; she was killing it. As always, I enjoy the dance performances much MUCH more than the lip syncing that’s ever-present on the results shows.
Now let’s get to the solos. Up first is Wadi.
I liked Wadi a lot, but he totally missed his opportunity here. I mean, we’ve had b-boys on the show before and they’ve done some really kick ass solos. This one was not kick ass. It wasn’t even kick ankle. Unless the other two guys bone it really badly, I’m thinking he’s going to get the boot.
Up next, Missy.
Eh. She did better than her partner, but I wasn’t blown away by this solo. She’s a good dancer, but I’m not going to be crying if she goes either.
Let’s move on now to Nick.
I like this kid a lot. That said, I thought his solo started out a little slow and when you only have thirty seconds, you can’t really be wasting any time, you know? I have my usually complaint about the liking of tap on this show, but I thought he did a good job once he got going and I’m really hoping that he will stick around for a while.
Let’s see what Iveta’s got!
Ballroom solos are always so hard. I don’t really care for them, but then that genre is meant to be performed with a pair, not with a single dancer. I like Iveta, but I’m not sure she has the versatility that you need for this show. I guess right now I’m hoping that Nick and Missy get paired together.
Now it’s Ricky’s turn.
This kid is a really great dancer. He’s got great lines and elevation, but is stuck with a crappy partner. And this is the moment that I start to get pissed off all over again about last week’s decision to keep everyone.
Deep breaths. Only one more solo to go. It’s Ryan.
What would a dance for your life be without a crotch shot form one of the girls? Ugh. I did not like her solo at all. I also don’t like her too much. Of the three girls in the bottom she’s the one I most want to go home.
Cat sends the judges backstage to deliberate, and now it’s time for another musical guest. This time around we’re getting dancing and lip syncing combined. It’s LMFAO with Quest Crew!
Is it just me or are these guys like the poor man’s Black Eyed Peas? That performance was cheesy as hell and the only thing that kept me from leaving the room was the fact that Quest was dancing with them. In fact, this is the same song that Quest danced to for the finale of ABDC, but the band wasn’t there which made that performance EVEN BETTER.
And what was the deal with the guy with the painted cardboard box over his head? What was that supposed to be? If we go with the theory that they are trying to be the new Black eyed Peas, could that be a rip off of that performance they did with the boom box heads? Do you guys remember that?
Anyway, we take another short break and then we’re back for the girls’ results. Nigel tells Cat that only have they made a decision this time around, this week they are unanimous. He first asks Missy to step forward.
He tells her he doesn’t see anything in her dancing that he can fault. He thinks she had a problem last night with the Cha Cha; not just with the style, but with her partner as well. Whatever. She had issues in that dance as well even though the judges praised her for it.
Next he calls Iveta forward.
She looks like she wants to spit on him, doesn’t she?
He tells her that she has graced the show with her talent and he thinks that whatever happens tonight, we will always remember the routine she did with Pasha on the Meet the Top Twenty show. He thinks that was absolutely sensational. He’s happy she’s fought to be on this show and she certainly deserves to be here.
Ryan, step forward.
Nigel chastises her, saying he doesn’t think the dancing she showed in her solo tonight was as good as she can do. He believes there’s even more inside her yet that they haven’t seen. If she’s still on the show she’s going to have to bring it.
The person they’ve decided to keep on the show this week is Ryan.
WHAAAAAAATTTTT???????? Are you fucking kidding me? Did he not just say her solo sucked? Didn’t that used to be automatic grounds for dismissal?
Oh man, Hugh. I am right there with ya.
Ugh. I am so freaking pissed off right now. I was going to go down the road of connections to the show and all that horseshit, but honestly, I just can’t even do it right now. I’m so riled up about this I can’t even take it. It would be one thing if the judges thought she did the best tonight even though we all know she didn’t, but to say her solo was crap and then keep her anyway? POPPYCOCK!!!!!
We see their double combined farewell reels and then Cat asks Iveta if she’s glad she tried and tried to be here. Yes. Did she have fun? Yes. Would you like to kick Nigel in the balls?
She then asks Missy what the best bit for her was, and like many dancers before her she says the other dancers.
Now it’s time for the guy’s results. Nigel asks Wadi to step forward first.
Nigel doesn’t really think he’s been given time yet to show what he can really do, getting the Cha Cha didn’t do him any favors. But he doesn’t think he showed his best tonight. Which I guess gives him a really good chance of staying.
He tells him that he is fortunate because there are two tap dancers on the panel tonight. They believe he is going to be a star. They think he is absolutely tremendous.
Ricky, step forward.
Nigel doesn’t think they’ve ever seen him dance better than he did in his dance for your life. He says they call it dance for your life for a reason; they expect the dancers to pull everything out of it that they can (except for Ryan, I guess). He laid himself out there tonight; he was brilliant. That is why they are keeping him on the show.
Which means it’s the end of the road for Wadi and Nick. I’m less annoyed about this even though I had really hoped to see Nick go far in this competition because Ricky actually DID kick ass in his solo.
We get Nick and Wadi’s good bye packages and then Wadi spends almost all the rest of the time talking which irritates me because it basically leaves Nick with about three seconds to talk. He uses that three seconds to tell the other dancers that he loves them and they are his family. Awwwww…..now I’m teary eyed.
And that’s the show, Gasmi. I’m really pissed at Nigel right now. First because there were people that absolutely SHOULD HAVE gone home last week and if that had happened there would not be an extra two people leaving from this group this week. Also, keeping Ryan was CRAP. It smacks of favoritism and I hate when he does shit like this. GRRRRRRR.
What did you think, Gasmi? Are you as annoyed as I am about all of this? Were any of you glad to see Ryan stay? Are you related to her if you answered yes? Are you sad to see Nick go? Iveta? What about Wadi and Missy?
I am knee deep in dance drama right now in the middle of nationals so maybe I’m being overly sensitive about these results. I can’t wait to hear what you all think.