This episode of So You Think You Can Dance really pissed me off. Look! I’m soooo pissed, I didn’t even include the (dance…..dance)! This week the judges decided they don’t have to do their jobs to get paid and so they wasted your time, my time, and everyone else’s that watched the show.
Stop wasting my time!
Well, if you’re here and we’re here, isn’t it technically OUR time?
GAH! Okay, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself here, so let’s just start with the opening number, shall we?
MORE PLEASE!!!! Oh my god, I loved this routine. First of all, it had Mark in it. Second, Mark. Third, I love the choreography; it can’t possibly be Sir BitchyPants so I’m thinking Spencer Liff. Nope. I’m wrong, it’s Kelley Abbey. Can we keep her please?
Is it just me or was Jose nowhere to be seen in that number? Not that I care, mind you, just wondering.
I’m also wondering why Cat’s taken a perfectly decent dress and added long white strings to her nipples.
Is this some sort of S&M thingy I should be aware of?
She reminds us that Billy sat out last night and since he just happens to be in the audience, asks him how he’s doing.
Yeah, it helps that he wasn’t voted into the bottom this week but chose to be there. I’d guess that’s less damaging to your self esteem.
Cat informs us that the world of dance lost someone very special this past week: Denise Jefferson. Denise was a dancer, a teacher, and director of the Alvin Ailey school.
Nigel goes on and on about her, and honestly, even though I can’t stand him I can appreciate the contributions Denise has made to the world of dance. Denise’s picture looks vaguely horrified to have Nigel talking about her.
Cat says this all seems trivial after that, but they do need to get on with the show. So let’s get to some results, shall we?
Uh oh. I’m guessing that from the order Lauren will be safe, Kent will be safe, Adechike will be in the bottom, and then either Robert of Jose will be in the bottom. Shit! I want both Jose AND Robert to be in the bottom.
So, Cat is starting with Lauren.
You guessed it, she’s safe. Let’s move along to Kent. Do we really even need to go though his performance package? From the “we love you”s that were screamed out last night, I think it’s a fairly safe bet that he’s not going anywhere. And….
I’m right. We take a break after Kent.
Which includes this disturbing image.
Um……is there a really big problem with bloody mechanical bulls in Texas? Somehow the ability to stay on the bull is not a factor I take into consideration when buying a maxi pad. Maybe this commercial should be region specific.
So we come back from that weird break, but not to more results. Instead, we have a special guest performance from Yuriko Kujia (sp?) and Jarad Matthews of ABT performing the grand pas de deux from act three of Don Quixote.
I love ballet. I could watch a performance like this every week. I really wish they’d do an excerpt from Giselle, or Firebird, ooo! or Coppelia. LOVE!
Time to get back to the results.
Cat walks us through Adechike’s, Robert’s and Jose’s performances last night. She tells only one of them is going to be safe. And that person is…….going to have to wait until after the commercials. Lame.
Bailey’s is making non alcoholic creamers for your coffee. Isn’t that sort of going against the whole point of putting Bailey’s in your coffee?
So we’re back and ready to find out who is going to be safe. Chant along with me now: pleasebeAdechikepleasebeAdechikepleasebeAdechike.
Holy shit! It’s Adechike!
I have to say, I did not see that one coming at all. I thought for sure it was going to be Robert who was safe. But ‘m guessing that he would have been in the bottom the last couple of weeks as well if it wasn’t for the injuries. Yay Adechike!
No words of encouragement or theories as to why they’re in the bottom from the judges this week. I think it’s because they know that we know exactly why these two dancers are in the bottom. Robert is there because he’s annoying (yes, I sad it again. ANNOYING), and Jose’s there because he’s been in over his head for a while now.
While they run off to prepare their solos, it’s time for another special performance. Remember the guy in Vegas that we just saw a quick clip of him coming up from a straddle using only his legs? Well, they’ve brought him back tonight to perform his entire solo. Gasmi, put your hands together for D.J. Smart!
Um……why the fuck isn’t this guy on this season? I can’t imagine he was any worse in other style than Jose. Just imagine, we could have had this guy instead of Robert. Or Jose. I really hate this show sometimes.
I hate you all the time, Nigel.
I really loved this solo though, and it makes me wish again that they’d show us more of these auditions during those rounds. I’d much rather see this than see the shit auditions or the judges faces. Of course, then we’d all realize just how many really great dancers get cut (Anthony Burrell comes to mind) so someone that fits whatever mold Nigel is trying to fill can make it instead. Grrrrrrr.
As D.J. leaves the stage, Cat tells him the key is in her dressing room.
Is it just me, or is Cat awfully horny this season?
Girl need to take a cold shower or something.
Hey! You didn’t forget about dance day did you? Well, if you did, Cat is here to remind you. She also wants to show us more videos that people have been sending in. Joy. Rapture.
Fabulous. If these videos are anything to go by, we have a Saturday full of traffic jams to look forward to on dance day. You bitches better not be dancing in front of my car; I’ll run your asses over.
We need to waste more time, so Cat asks Nigel about what else is happening on dance day.
Yep, Nigel makes sure to tell us there’s a lot going on, but aside from the location SYTYCD people are going to be at, doesn’t give us any actual details. Thanks for taking five minutes to give us no new information, Nigel!
Oh, and don’t forget Dizzy Feet has their gala coming up so you can buy tickets now! That Nigel. You can always count on him for self promotion.
Time for another encore performance from a couple of all stars. Crap. It’s the devil. And Neil. They’ll be reprising their Wade Robson choreographed dance “Night of the Dancing Flame”.
Sigh. I miss Wade. I have to admit, I love this routine. And you all know how I feel about her. The only part I can’t stand is when she runs around screaming her head off, but I guess it’s too much to ask that we actually get through an entire routine without me wanting to kill her. I do love it when he chokes her though.
As they leave the stage Cat says, “Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.” I think she meant devil in the pale white dress, but the point here is really this:
Cat also thinks Lauren is the devil.
Another reason to love Cat.
It should be solo time now, but since there is nothing Nigel loves more than the sound of his own voice, we’re going to hear from him again. This time he wants to give us some information about the tour.
It takes the information and it puts it in its brain.
He’s got names. The all stars going on the tour are: Allison, Dominic, Courtney, and Ade. Russell and Kathryn from season six. Obviously the top boy and girl from this season, plus four others. So only two dancers from season six? Stupid.
Solo time. Robert is first.
That outfit is not doing him any favors. Meh.
I thought this was better than his solo last night. I also still think it’s his time to go home. Next week (fingers crossed) it’ll be Robert’s turn.
So the judges head off to have their pretend conversation about who is going home. Adam says they’re going to make Kenny decide. Whatever. Just send Jose along his way; I don’t care who you say decides it.
While the judges are off stage picking their noses, it’s time for our requisite lip synced performance of the night. Tonight’s performers are Enrique (Iglesias) and Pitbull. There are all star back up dancers this week, but no Mark so I am disappointed. Instead, we have the Devil, Allison, and Dominic.
Where am I? Mommy!
You know what’s really sad? Dominic’s back up b-boying is about a thousand times better than Jose’s solo. Please just send the poor kid on his way.
In case you forgot, Cat reminds us that Billy, Robert and Jose are in danger. Time to find out which of them is going to be sent packing.
Nigel tells us they haven’t made up their minds. Wha??? They have come to a conclusion. Me too.
You’re a pompous prick.
He’s going to go through the process. Robert, step forward. They’ve discussed his progress and a couple of the judges don’t feel as if he’s growing anymore. I think they may have realized that no matter what they say, people are not going to vote for him.
***Fuuuuuuuck, I thought for sure Jose would leave before me***
Jose, step forward. He tells Jose the judges also feel like he’s stopped growing a little bit, but in his own work, in breaking, he really is growing. He needs to grow in other areas if he’s going to stay.
I’m trying, dude, I’m just not capable.
Billy, step forward. He tells Billy he’s set a precedent on the show this week; this is the forst time a dancer has been cleared to dance and chosen not to.
Well shiiiit, I guess that means I’m going home.
Nigel points out that basically Billy’s now given himself a week’s rest, so if he were to come back into the competition he would be doing so after having a week out. He says it’s difficult for them to make a decision about that because he didn’t dance yesterday or tonight.
So the decision they’ve made, and it’s one they’ve never made before is……no one will go home tonight.
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?
Instead, TWO dancers will go home next week. What a crock of shit. I feel like I’m saying that a lot this season, but really, it is a huge steaming pile of shit.
You know these guys are all thinking that’s some fucked up shit.
I am right there with them.
Me too, Hugh, me too. According to Nigel this somehow will make it fair for everyone next week. Whatever. Just admit that you’re changing the rules YET AGAIN! I mean, as judges you’re job is to decide who is going home, and you can’t even do that?!?!? Shit! I wish I could get paid to not do my job.
Well, when you have your own show, you can do whatever you want.
Oh, fuck off, Nigel.
And then the dancers jump around the stage for almost two full minutes because without the good bye montage, we are now under time.
At least Nigel didn’t chose to fill the time with his own talking.
And there you have it, Gasmi. No one is leaving tonight. Are you as annoyed as I am by this? I have my own theory about why they’re really doing this, wanna hear it?
I think that they realized they are going to have issues with next week’s top five show. How do you handle the extra dancer in a way that doesn’t cause outcries of unfair advantages or disadvantages? Let’s face it, someone would have to do their second dance with an all star; that can either really help show them off, or really show their weaknesses. It was already an issue at top seven, but that was solved by an injury. Next week determines who is in the finale. The last thing he wants to hear is how someone got there unfairly.
Perhaps I am giving Nigel and company more credit than they deserve, but I do think it’s a plausible explanation, and one he wouldn’t want to give since it would mean he;d have to admit a flaw in the all star format he loves so much. What do you think, Gasmi? Do you think my theory has some merit? Do you have a theory of your own? Testify!