Here we are Gasmi, just a mere 115 minutes away from finding out this season’s winner. But before we do that we’ll have to make it through a maze of stupid filler, repeated dances, guest performances, and judges’ babble. Are you strong enough to hang on til the end?
We seem to start every episode lately with an ultra dramatic voice over/flashback combo. Tonight is more of the same. We see flashbacks of the winners of previous seasons (although only Nick, Benji and Jeannine are mentioned by name) while the contestants tells us they’ve always wondered if it could be them, blah blah blah blah blah. Welcome! To the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)!
We go right into the opening number which combines not only the all stars, but the top eleven also. Including Alex Wong dancing en chair!!
I could have done without Melinda’s tap solo in the beginning, but other than that I love this routine. Cat tells us it was choreographed by Christopher Scott from LXD. I say let’s have him come back again!
Speaking of Cat, can we talk about her outfit for a minute here? She’s looking rather like Cinderella after Nigel and the ugly stepsisters have ruined the dress Gus Gus and Jacques made for her.
Bibbity Bobbity Poo.
I feel compelled to point out that as the opening number ended all the judges gave them a standing ovation. Remember this for later.
Cat reminds us that we’ll find out the season winner tonight, as well as revisit some old “favorite” routines. She also tells us that later we will be treated to a performance by a genuine superstar. Lord, I hope it’s not Katie Holmes again! I know she’s referring to the Alex/Twitch hip hop number that Nigel spoke about last week, and I’m still annoyed by the whole thing.
Cat moves right into introducing the judges for this evening but rather than keep it brief we get the treat of a little montage of each of the terrible three. Nigel gets a montage about his ever changing shitty hairdos, Mia’s is about her ripping off Lil C and making up her own words, and Adam’s is about his incessant mugging for the cameras.
As always, Mia finds herself infinitely more amusing than anyone else on the planet.
Because it’s finale night, we have to cram in as many judges as possible at that table, so the terrible three will be joined by Sir BitchyPants, Stacey Tookey, Kenny Ortega, and Mary Murphy. Yes, you heard me right, the tamale train has pulled back into the station.
Oh how I have NOT missed this. At all.
We get a recap of last night’s performances intercut with the contestants telling us how nervous, excited and happy about some of their critiques they were. Basically it’s an excuse to waste some time which we all know is part of the results shows.
After a quick commercial break we’re back and ready for more filler. Time to start the annual picking of the judges’ favorite routines. Kenny won the coin toss so he gets to pick first. He chooses Kent and Neil’s Broadway routine. I would have preferred to see their contemporary.
At the end, they slide over to Cat who’s sitting on the stage waiting for them. Cute. The judges give them a standing ovation.
Nigel gets his turn next, and the dance he chooses is one of my favorites of the season. It’s the Billy/Ade contemporary piece choreographed by Stacey. “Mad World”.
I really love this number. Watching again I still find myself wishing that Billy had danced like this all season. I am really excited to see how his career progresses. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the judges give them a standing ovation.
Time for our first special guest performance of the evening. I’m not going to complain about this one though because it is Quest Crew! It looks like they’ve added a girl since their time on America’s Best Dance Crew, and Dominic appears to be sitting out this performance.
I love these guys; I could watch them all day long with a big ass grin on my face. Performances like this are what we should be getting more of in each and every results show, not just the finale. Please, Nigel! No more lip syncers!
After a reminder from Cat about the SUPERSTAR performance and a few commercials, we’re back to seeing judges’ favorite routines. Mia’s up next for her pick, and she tells us one of her favorite routines of this season was talk about being dance short film.
It was the Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop number performed by Comfort who came back to the show as a hip hop superhero. Oh, and Adechike danced it with her. It’s one of Mia’s favorites of the season. Probably because Adechike gets slapped in it.
How did you know?
Poor Comfort. Mia’s stank ass attitude has made her faint.
I think Comfort actually slapped harder this time than she did the first time they danced this. Mia probably orgasmed at the sound of it. I have to know…..does anyone actually buy the bullshit she’s pushing about this being a favorite routine?
Oh, stop. You do not.
Well, Adechike must be channeling Desmond Richardson tonight because he and Comfort get a standing ovation after that routine. I could have sworn Mia made a comment about not giving out standing ovations lightly, but her ass seems to be jumping up out of that chair an awful lot tonight, doesn’t it?
I’m feeling a sudden urge to play Whack a(n A-)Mole
I guess that stage hand I bribed installed the electric shock devices on the judges’ chairs like I asked him to. Oh, relax. It’s not enough electricity to hurt them, just maybe make them drool a little from now on.
Now Cat tries to sell us on the idea that this season had lots and lots of romance in the air. The proof we have of this is that creepy dude that put Cat’s hand on his crotch at auditions, Robert licking the devil’s leg (Ewwww! again), Dominic trying to molest Cat, Pasha being smoking hot, Kent and Lauren’s kiss, and Adam’s proposal to Nigel. Really it’s just all an excuse to revisit Kent’s routine with Anya; you know, the one where she’s a hot teacher and he’s a bad boy.
I wasn’t crazy about this dance the first time around, so I didn’t really need to see it again. Oh, and for those of you keeping track at home? The judges give it a standing ovation.
Wanna know what Sir BitchyPants’ favorite routine of the season is? It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. That’s right, the ass clown has chosen the Robert/Dominic clown Not Hop routine.
Would you be surprised if I told you the judges give it a standing ovation? No? Well, you might be surprised to find out that my ass remained firmly planted on the couch. Not a huge fan of this the first time around, I like it better this time but probably only because I know I’ll never have to see it again.
Cat introduces clips of national dance day, and then it’s time for another special performance. This one is going to be Nigel’s tap dance that he told us last week he was being coerced into doing. But alas! Nigel comes out on stage with crutches and a fake cast, pretending to be injured and unable to perform.
Yes, Nigel, injuries are HILARIOUS!!!
This leads into a little boy (Luke Spring) saying he wants to fill in for Nigel tap dancing.
He’s a cute kid and a good tapper. I’d rather watch him than almost every other tapper we’ve had on the show (exception=Ryan K). The cuteness is followed by another tap act, this time the Manzari brothers.
These guys have great sound; nice clean, clear tapping. Even the terrible micing this show does with tap didn’t bother me too much while watching them.
We’re back to favorite routines, and Nigel’s getting a second pick even though not everyone else has had their first turn yet.
He hasn’t popped one boner yet tonight and there’s a prerequisite for at least one per show. To remedy that problem, Nigel chooses the Argentine Tango as performed by Lauren and Pasha.
I’m actually really surprised that Nigel stands up after that routine given that he’s sure to be sporting wood right about now. But wood or no wood, nothing’s gonna keep the panel of judges from their standing ovation!
Time for Adam to choose his favorite routine. Oh fuck. It’s Breast Cancer: The Remix. I knew that routine was gonna make an appearance in this show. UGH. I refuse to watch it again.
I love Travis, but I cannot say I love this dance. Honestly, I wasn’t even going to put a picture of it in here, but then that wouldn’t be fair to Robert, would it? See? I can be sort of nice. Sometimes.
Thankfully we’re moving right into another special performance, and I have to admit I got a little excited as Cat announced this one. Russell and Lil C are performing together! Oh yeah!
Love, love, love! It’s great to see Russell perform again, and I think it’s wonderful and very generous of Lil C to perform right up there with him. That had to have meant a lot to Russell, doncha think? They were both great. Love it!
It’s Mary’s turn to pick her favorite routine, and I think it’s obvious that she hasn’t watched the season because she chooses Jose and Dominc’s hip hop knight routine.
It was a condition of my return that I pick whichever dance Nigel says to pick.
That’s gotta be the reason, right? Why else would she possibly pick this piece? You know what? I’m not watching this one again, OR posting a picture of it. Sorry, Jose. Not gonna happen.
Let’s keep things moving right along. It’s time for another special performance! This one is the SYTYCD:UK winner, Charlie Bruce. She’ll be dancing with Neil in a piece choreographed by Mandy Moore.
I forget sometimes how much I love Mandy’s lyrical choreography, they let her do it so rarely anymore. So, anyone out there watch the UK version of the show? What’s the dealio with this Charlie chick? Come on, fill us all in!
We’re fast approaching the ninety minute mark, so it looks like it’s time to get some actual results. Let’s get the final three out on stage.
Cat thinks if Robert has to exit now, this will be the best exit costume ever. I will laugh my ass off if that happens. Cat tells them she doesn’t actually know what’s on the card. And the person leaving in third place is…….
Bwahahahahaha! Say good bye to Bollywood ’cause his ass is outta here!
The judges give him a standing ovation. Shocking I say! We go through Robert’s good bye montage and I am happy to bid him adieu at last. I am curious to see how he grows as a dancer; he has great potential, but really has a lot of growing up to do both in his dancing, and in life.
Cat wants to know if he has anything to say.
Mommy, can I have some milk and cookies when we get home?
He thanks everyone who voted for him (so Moli’s probably happy), and he thanks all the contestants that he got to share the stage with. He says it’s been an amazing journey and this experience has blessed him. Bye!
Adam’s getting another pick and he gives a shout out to Tabitha and Napoleon, saying that they have been like the MVPs, the Jerome Robbins of the season. Of course he is physically unable to mention Jerome Robbins without pointing out that he has been in West Side Story millions of times and Nigel didn’t know the show and nyeh nyeh nyehnyeh nyeh nyeh.
Have I also mentioned I was nominated for an Emmy?
After that long winded introduction, he tells us his pick is the wild West hip hop routine with Lauren and Twitch.
I actually think Lauren did a good job with this routine both the first time and this time. Is her ass sticking out? Yep. But I don’t care in this number because it doesn’t feel out of place. Another standing O from the judges.
Cat is taking a turn picking a favorite routine. She tells us for obvious reasons it can’t be performed live tonight and we all immediately know it’s one of Alex’s numbers. The one Cat’s picked is the Sonya Tayeh routine he danced with Allison.
These two are gorgeous together. I love this dance, and it makes me sad again that we lost Alex so early in the season. I have to admit, I still think he probably shouldn’t come back as a contestant again. Really it’s an internal argument with myself because I also would love to see him dance again, and I’m curious how far he’d go.
The judges give a standing ovation to the taped performance. Maybe they’ve all caught restless leg syndrome at the same time. It was probably Sir BitchyPants that did it; he looks infectious, doesn’t he?
Stacey’s turn is next and her price for sitting at the judges’ table is saying that Robert and Billy’s Bollywood routine is her favorite of the season.
Y’all know I’m full of shit, right?
No worries, Stacey. No one in their right mind actually believes that this routine is your favorite of the season. This isn’t one I’d choose to watch again, and so I didn’t. But guess what? You’ll never guess. Standing ovation! He should be flattered because that’s really rare.
Mia gets another turn picking a favorite and this time around she’s picking the Travis’ contemporary piece with Kent and Neil. Yay! I love this one!
I really do love this routine. I think the emotional connection was more raw the first time they did it, but I still love seeing it again. And…….standing ovation.
Are you feeling the absence of a musical guest in this episode? Well never fear, Black Gold is here to sing their hit “Shine” the kicked off song of the season.
Be warned! This is what you’d get if Harvey Fierstein and K.D.Lang mated.
While the song is going on we’re getting some flashbacks across the season. Some I enjoy seeing again, like the awesome deaf dude, others not so much, like spina bifida brother. When the song ends this dude also gets a standing ovation. Really? I’m beginning to think this is a joke that we’re not in on.
We’ve got time for one more performance before the results will be announced. So, you may have heard that a genuine superstar was going to be performing. I believe Nigel called this person a living legend of dance. Yes, we’re talking about the reworked Twitch/Alex hip hop number. Ready?
Really?!? Since when is Ellen a living legend of dance? In what alternate reality is that a truth? Give me a fucking break. While I am not a fan of redoing this number under any circumstances, I will say that I GUESS I’d rather them do it this way instead of seriously trying to replace Alex in the number. Obviously Ellen worked very hard on the routine, but at the end of the day I would rather have seen the tape of the original performance.
Oh, sit the fuck down for Chrissake!
Cat brings Alex out on stage and it’s obvious he loved it. So I guess, great job Ellen? Pleh.
We’ve reached that time, Gasmi. It’s time to get down to business and find out who will be this season’s winner.
Before Cat gives us the results, she wants us to take one last look at each of their journeys. Isn’t it interesting that both of them got the news from Nigel that they were to be on the show? No? Work with me here!
And the winner of So You Think You Can Dance season seven is……….
Lauren! ? ? !
Wow. I’m a little surprised here, I have to admit. I thought for sure that Kent had it in the bag. Honestly, I think he should have won the season, just looking back at the routines of his that were picked versus Lauren’s, plus his piece with Allison last night; he had the stronger season, in my opinion. I think the Bollywood and Mandy Moore number killed it for him.
Anyway, he’s whisked offstage because second place never gets a moment in the spotlight, and Russell presents Lauren with her Gatorade bottle. All the dancers come one stage and everyone is hugging Lauren and jumping up and down. I do like that when Kent comes back out Robert makes a beeline to him to give him a big ole hug.
We get a last shot of Lauren over the credits, and she has poured her bottle of Gatorade over herself. That one made me laugh!
There you have it, Gasmi. Lauren is our new winner. What did you think? Were you happy she won, or were you routing for Kent? I was routing for Kent to win, so I’m a little disappointed. In all, this has been the most disappointing season of the series for me. There were too many changes, and I still feel like Nigel was trying to fix things that weren’t broken. I hope he scales back some of those changes for next year.
Thanks for hanging in there with me this season, I know at times it’s been a rough one. Apologies again for my delay with these last two recaps; I appreciate your patience and understanding. Hopefully I’ll see you all back here again next season: fingers crossed Anthony Burrell will be there too!
In the meantime, I’ll be picking up a new show, The Spin Crowd. Stop by if you get a chance; I’d love to see you all there!
See you next season!