Hey Gasmi! I can’t believe we’re already at Vegas week. Auditions fly when they don’t fill them with duds, right?
We aim to please!
Oh Cat, you always do. She tells us that in Vegas there’s just one rule: Stay Alive.
Hmmmm……I’m not quite sure that’s what she meant.
Clips of previous years’ breakdowns are followed by sneak peeks of this year’s breakdowns, and then we are ready to begin. Day one, 8am. One hundred and sixty dancers are super excited to have made it to Vegas. Before we’re through One hundred and forty of them will leave disappointed.
It’s all fun and games until someone gets cut.
There will be six judges prevailing over this round. There’s Nigel and Mary of course, plus Robin Antin
Barely covering her cooch,
Adam Shankman, who may have been knee capped by angry fans,
Sir BitchyPants looking as annoying as ever,
Debbie motherfucking Allen!!!!! OH YEEEAAAHHH.
I am so happy to see Debbie Allen again; I seriously love her. As far as the other judges go…..well, I’m willing to give Adam another chance now that mean girl Mia is gone, and I knew Sir BitchyPants would be there, but why oh WHY is Robin Antin there again? UGH. Now I have to look at scary joker face again. I feel like I JUST recovered from the trauma of her last appearance.
Before we start any choreography, each dancer will do a solo for the judges to remind them of why they were sent through to Vegas. We’re starting with Iveta. Cat tells us Iveta has made it to Vegas twice before but obviously has been cut both times. She has a plan to immediately impress the judges Nigel.
Looks like her plan is working. I’m pretty sure she’s not getting cut anytime soon.
Next up is dude named Marlon who Cat tells us is also hoping to make a splash with his outfit.
Debbie Allen is not amused.
Neither is Nigel’s boner.
I suspect it’s not going to come as a shock to any of you that Marlon gets cut in the first group of dancers. But it does come as a shock to young Marlon, especially when Debbie tells him that she thinks he needs to consider the whole package. She thinks his outfit is so distracting and his dancing would have been perceived differently had he just worn some pants and a shirt.
But this is me! I AM the Confetti Skeleton!
Are you for real? Get yer ass off that stage before I bitch slap you!
The Confetti Skeleton says that if someone would have told him, he would have put a different outfit on. What a liar. No matter, his ass is outta there along with six other dancers.
Of course we’re not done with the Confetti Skeleton yet. He says he actually wore that outfit because he was trying to show bravery. Because no one other than him would be brave enough to wear that outfit.
Buh Bye Confetti Skeleton!
Montage of solo cuts. Wadi Jones is hoping to break the cycle of rejection.
There are lots of oohs and aahs from the judges during his solo, so I’m going go out on a limb and guess that he’s gonna stay.
Wadi sets off a montage of solos the judges like and most of the dancers are ones we haven’t seen before, although there are a lot more familiar faces than usual thanks to them actually showing more good auditions than bad.
Then it’s time for the last solos, Natalia and Sasha Mallory.
I love these girls!! I still think there’s no way in hell Nigel is letting Natalia get to the top twenty, but I am happy to have them both stick around for as long as possible.
The sisters along with an additional one hundred and twelve dancers make it through the solo round to move on to the first round of choreography.
Hip Hop is the first genre with (of course) Tabitha and Napoleon. We see glimpses of dancers with some hip hop skills…..
And those that clearly don’t
Good Lord, it’s the Wonder Bread twins.
Guess what y’all? Hip Hop is super hard. Also? I predict that will be said about each round of choreography that they have to tackle.
As the dancers clear the stage to start performing someone yells out that there is an injury. Wadi Jones’ legs are cramping up to the point that he can’t even stand up. Hopefully he’ll get that worked out before his group performs.
Luckily he’s not up first. Half of the Wonder Bread twins is though (Chyna) and she bombs BADLY. Because she’s super cute and blonde Nigel gives her another chance to dance the combination, but let’s Adam tell her to deflect attention away from the obviously perv driven decision.
Shankman, get this girl back to giving me boners STAT!!
Wonder Bread isn’t the only one having difficulty with hip hop but she seems to be the only one so far getting a second chance at it. This round we lose Hiro Mcrae (shocking!) and Patty Anne Miller.
Damn. I had high hopes for that girl. We also lose the Irish dancing girl, Orangello, and Princess Wackadoo. In total, nineteen dancers are given the hip hop heave ho.
Time for Wadi’s group. He’s barely rehearsed because of his leg cramps, but it doesn’t really matter because he still kills it.
Oh crap. Annoying Amber also makes the cut. GAH!!! Before you know it it’s time for Chyna’s second chance. There are eight dancers in total (including Iveta) getting another go at hip hop and it looks like the second time around is the lucky one for them because they all make it through.
Day two. Broadway and Sir BitchyPants.
UGH. Couldn’t we have gotten Spencer Liff instead? Sir BitchyPants is choreographing a super sexy Broadway number that he probably stole from a much better choreographer and then ruined it. Adam is getting his knee checked out so Jason Gilkison will be filling in at the judges’ table for this round.
Wadi Jones and Lil O are in the first group to perform and they both KILL IT.
I could just eat you all up.
Cat tells us that Broadway continued to get rave reviews. Hoping to bask in that glow are two dancers that have made it to Vegas before: Rebecca Hart and Jeremiah Hughes. I don’t remember Rebecca at all, but Jeremiah I remember from last year’s temper tantrum during contemporary.
I’m REAL, okay? That’s why I throw temper tantrums.
Rebecca gets the boot, but Jeremiah lives to throw another tantrum. Barely. Rebecca get the dubious honor of getting a pep talk from Sir BitchyPants.
I don’t know about Rebecca but I sure feel inspired. To punch him in the face.
Other dancers proceed to bomb at Broadway including angry but spiritual krumper Brian and a bunch of other people I don’t think we’ve seen yet. In all, another fourteen dancers are out after the Broadway round.
It’s now 4pm on day two and time for a little ballroom. Jason Gilkison will be choreographing a jive that he tells us is full of fast footwork, lifts and even a slide through the legs. It’s relentless. Because the girls get the added bonus of dancing it in heels, their feet are really taking a beating.
Ooowwwwww and eeeeeewwwwwww
Ryan Ramierez has taken her shoes off to perform because her feet are killing her so bad. Why should we care? Because she was yea close to the top twenty last year and with all the attention she’s getting already is bound to be at least that close again.
After an hour of rehearsal time the groups are ready to go. Up first is Natalia and a guy that looks as if he’s going to have a little bit of difficulty partnering her. Which Sir BitchyPants makes sure to note loudly and repetitively.
Who else feels like punching him?
Oh wait, that’s a normal state of mind for me whenever he is on the show.
They actually do a good job with it despite what Sir BitchyPants (and anyone else) may have thought. Nigel wants them to do it again with different partners because he thinks it’s just not happening with them.
Natalia goes off to find another partner while her sister Sasha takes the stage for her turn. Oh, and Cat tells us that Ryan Rameirez is part of this group as well. Nigel is not crazy about how Sasha did this since the lady’s legs are supposed to be together while hers were apart. But that probably gave him a jive boner and so Sasha moves on along with everyone else in her group.
Have you ever heard of something called the hand jive, baby?
Natalia has found a new partner, Bryce “Professor Lock” Johnson. They’ve been hoping to be paired up throughout the auditions so far and now is their chance to show the judges what an awesome pair they make.
I love this girl more and more which causes me to get more and more pissed off because I KNOW that there is no way in fucking hell that Nigel will put her in the top twenty. It really annoys me to no end. Anyway, Natalia and Bryce kick some ass in the jive so they are both safe after the ballroom round.
And then, it’s time for the last ballroom group to go and Alexis Mason is in this group. You know, Jeannine’s sister? She doesn’t do so well here and so she is going to have to dance for her life.
She needs three yeses to stay. Nigel says her solos are too full of angst and he wonders if she’s too immature, so he’s giving her a no. Mary agrees with Nigel but she loves Alexis so it’s a yes from her. Sir BitchyPants thinks there’s definitely something there and he’s conflicted but it’s a yes. Debbie loves her and thinks she’s a diamond in the rough so Alexis gets her last yes. She’s staying.
So now it’s the end of the day and they have thirty nine guys and thirty five girls who have made it to the group round. Oh goody. This round is always good for some major meltdowns.
After a quick break it’s morning and the groups are preparing to perform. But suddenly Cat tells us that one dancer has broken down.
Oh no! Not Natalia!
Cat tells us she’s feeling dizzy and weak and her sister Sasha rushes off to get her some help. Ah! I don’t want her to go out this way.
We leave Natalia to check out the first group of the day.
They do a GREAT job and I’m not the only one who thinks so.
BitchyPants is really creeping me out this year. Why the hell is trying to out perv Nigel? Yuck. Debbie tells them that she knows Bob Fosse would have enjoyed it and Shankman is proud of them. Obviously they’re not going anywhere.
This first group is followed by group after group doing really well. Cat tells us the standards were so high that only seven dancers were cut. Wow. We’ve never seen that before.
Meanwhile, Natalia has been cleared by the medics to dance with her group. Oh good, I’m so glad she’s okay. And one of the guys in her group apparently had a little temper tantrum the night before a fact that Nigel has already been made aware of.
Robin Antin aka Jokerface thinks she could see the music while they were dancing, and Nigel doesn’t want to be rude but feels the need to point out that Natalia is larger than the other girls and still doing what everyone else is. Ugh. I hate him. Temper tantrum boy (aka DC) has a mini breakdown and then we find out that they’re all staying.
After a quick pool break, it’s time for the dreaded contemporary round, this time around choreographed by Travis Wall assisted by Jamie (season 3) and Robert from last season.
OH. Good. God.
Some of you may vaguely recall just how much I LOVED Robert last season, so I’m sure you will not be surprised when I tell you that a loud groan escaped my lips at the mention of his name. So I guess I’m making progress. After all, I didn’t throw anything at my TV, right?
Travis tells us he’s not dicking around with this dance; people that should be in the top twenty should be able to do this. Uh oh. Ryan Ramierez is hurt and Nigel calls her to the stage to find out what is going on. Something is going on with her tailbone and Nigel sends her off to the hospital to get herself checked out.
Also having difficulty is Natalia who woke up feeling dizzy in the morning and worsened throughout this round. The medics have decided that she also needs to go to the hospital. Sasha says she was going to go with her but Natalia told her to get her ass back in there.
She does really well despite what’s going on with her sister, and you have to be able to do that on this kind of show. Shit happens, bad shit even, but the show must always go on.
Nigel asks Sasha about her sister and then tells her she can’t go to the hospital because she’s needed here; she’s through to the next round. Also through are Robert Taylor Jr, Wadi Jones, and Lil O.
Ryan returns from the hospital without a broken tailbone and cleared to dance even though she’s had no time to rehearse and doesn’t really know the steps. Nigel says she’s had so little time to get the routine, but she insists she has it. So he gives her Robert as her partner.
Okay, so here’s the thing. I think it’s kind of bullshit she gets an assistant as a partner. They didn’t do that for anyone else ever that I remember. The fact that she used to assist Mia has also not been forgotten by me so I find it interesting that Nigel’s putting her in the best possible position here. And…..shocker. She gets through to the next round. Imagine that.
After clips of more people getting put through it’s time for the final set of dancers which includes Arielle Coker and Jeremiah Hughes, both of whom have been here before. Can they make it past contemporary this time around?
And yep. Blech.
Also in this round is DC Chapman who stormed out on his group during group night performance (he was with Natalia’s group). When Sir BitchyPants tells him he’s getting cut, DC just keeps saying over and over again that he can’t go home. He begs them to let him dance for his life.
Debbie Allen wants him to pull his shit together and then makes him a deal; she will help him get the lessons. She’s throwing him a life jacket, is he going to take it? He is. Debbie says she’s going to kick his little ass. God, I hope so, he’s fucking annoy.
Get him, Debbie!
At this point fifty five dancers are left in the competition and each dancer will get to perform a solo before the judges pick the top twenty. Before we get to the solos, Natalia is back from the hospital and we’re about to find out her fate.
Nigel asks how she’s doing, and she tells him she’s feeling better but they’re pretty sure she has diabetes but has been cleared to dance today. Nigel gives her a free pass through the contemporary round she missed and so she gets to perform her solo.
LOVE her, Love her, LOVE her!
After all the solos have been performed Natalia makes it through and Nigel asks why she should make the top twenty. She talks about always being the biggest girl in the class and how being here in Vegas has made her realize she is good enough to be up there with everyone else. She totally made me cry (just a little).
After the solo round twenty four more dancers were cut including (thankfully) annoying Amber. Phew! Unfortunately, Alexis Mason also gets cut, but given the fact that she is only eighteen, I’m guessing we’ll be seeing more of her around these parts in the future.
And that’s Vegas week, Gasmi! What did you think? Were you as worried about Natalia as I was? Did you think Ryan got an unfair advantage getting Robert as her contemporary partner? Anyone you were sad to see go?
Next up….Meet the top twenty! I can’t wait! I’m going right from this recap to that one so keep an eye out for it soon. See you there!