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Tonight’s So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance) is all about the filler. Not that the results shows are usually any different, but this week seems to have even more filler than what we usually get.
Tell me about it!
Oh Cat, I’m so happy to see your hair back to normal after last night’s fucked up experiment. Please don’t ever do that to your hair again, k?thxbye.
Oooooo, I really like this opening number! But where were the final four? It’s strange to me that they’re not in the group number at all. I guess I shouldn’t complain too much; maybe I would have liked it less if they’d have been in it, who knows? Dee Caspary choreographed this number, and I have to say, I’ve enjoyed his stuff this season; I hope he sticks around for a while.
Poor Dee, the girl behind keeps trying to bite his ear off.
We go though the judges’ intros, and then Cat tells us that she hasn’t forgotten her promise to us that she’d share dance day highlights tonight.
Don’t hate me; Nigel’s making me do this.
And so, the highlights begin. We see Nigel in Washington, D.C. where he is awarded a plaque. Yes, he is just SO wonderful, isn’t he? Too bad they don’t give out plaques for pervy comments; his walls would be full.
We also see the judges and Tabitha and Napoleon dancing it up in L.A. with what Cat tells us were thousands of people. Oh, and get this: there’s more to come next week! Oh yipee. I can’t wait to see more idiots bopping around trying to get their faces on TV. woo. hoo.
Nigel tells us the entire show next week is going to be incredible. He goes on, saying he’s been coerced into doing another tap routine. Yeah, I totally believe you were coerced, Nigel. Ha!
Well, I stomped my feet and held my breath until they said I could do it, isn’t that coercion?
He tells us obviously we’re going to see a lot of the judges’ favorite routines from across this season, and they’re actually going to recreate the Alex and Twitch hip hop routine. WHAT?!?!
He goes on, saying that if you think Desmond Richardson is a dance legend (which he is), the person that’s going to replace Alex is an absolutely fantastic dance legend.
I tell you, it’s going to be bigger than Cats!
Can I just say how much I absolutely hate this idea? Unless……
Nope. Sorry Hugh, even if it was you, I still don’t like the idea.
Well, if you’re gonna be shirtless……..maybe………No! Okay?
All kidding aside, I don’t understand why they can’t just show a replay of that number. Part of what made it so great, was the surprise of Alex killing the routine so unexpectedly. I honestly can’t imagine wanting to see anyone take his place in the piece.
We take a quick break, and come back to our first guest performance of the evening. This one will be Janelle Monae, singing at us all to do the tightrope.
Eh. it was an okay performance; I think she actually sang live, so right there she’s a step ahead of most of the other guest performers we get on this show. She doesn’t use the all stars as her backup dancers, but she’s got people that can actually move, so I’m not going to slam her for that either. Shit, it almost sounds as if I enjoyed a musical performance on this show! Almost.
Time to get to some results. Sorta. First we get a recap of how Lauren danced last night, and then she dances a solo.
Oh. We’re not really getting any results. Damn! Instead, it’s time for more filler! This time the dancers are going to the Gatorade Sports Institute to see how they stack up against other athletes now that Gatorade has declared dance an official sport.
Ohmygod! We’re totally athletes you guys!
Can I get a woo woo?
Cat’s back to remind us of Kent’s performances last night before he does his solo.
Oof! That was not a good solo at all. Lucky for Kent it not only doesn’t mean anything, it wouldn’t matter either.
Cat calls the final four out to the stage, and as she’s lining Kent up on his mark, he mumbles something, not realizing they’re still on air. I tried to figure out what he said, but I couldn’t hear it. If I only I had the technology that could isolate only one person’s voice! Someone get that for me!
Anyway, Cat is going to announce to us one of the top three dancers moving on to next week’s finale. Since only Kent and Lauren have danced their solos at this point, we know it’s going to be one of them. Cat is sure to clarify that just because this person is announced first, it doesn’t mean they were the highest vote getter.
And the first person moving on to the finale is……..
Good. I’m happy for her. Cat goes over to Adam for his comments, and he’s SO happy, Gasmi. He prayed for Lauren last night!
And it totally worked because god really cares who makes it into the finale of So You Think You Can Dance! I bet you didn’t know god is a HUGE dance fan, did you? I think I spotted him at the Step Up 3-D premiere.
Lauren is barely holding it together here, she’s crying and looks like she wants to be running around the stage whooping it up.
After a plug for the tour, we revisit Adechike’s performances from last night, and then he does his solo.
He always does really good solos, and this one was no exception. Time for Robert’s recap package, and then his solo.
Eh. As always, I am underwhelmed by his dancing. This particular solo felt to me like a K-Mart version of a Billy Bell solo.
After Robert’s solo, Cat calls the three guys out to the stage so she can announce the next person moving on to the finale. And that person is……
No surprise there. There’s no way Kent wasn’t going to make it to the final three. This time we’re going to Nigel for his comments.
Cat asks Nigel if he thinks Kent was a bit of a sure bet. Nope. He says that he doesn’t think anyone’s a sure bet at this time given the slim margin of votes between first and second place. He says they haven’t had the same number one for several weeks.
I don’t believe that at all. I do believe that there’s been some fluxuation of spots between second, third and fourth, but there is no way Nigel is going to convince me that Kent hasn’t been leading the pack for some time now. Sorry, I’m just not buying it.
He tells Kent he’s so pleased he came to Wapakoneta. He brings up the discussions about Kent’s face again, saying he’s learned that he needs to control it. He says that at the end of the day, Kent is not the artist, the choreographer is. The dancer is the brush with which the choreographer paints.
And what the choreographer paints is up to me, or the picture doesn’t hang on my wall.
He says that Kent has grown emotionally over the season, and that that has been wonderful to see. And then Kent jumps around. As Kent does.
We take a quick break, and then it’s time for another guest performance. But this one is Desmond Richardson, so you won’t hear me complaining one bit.
Looks like Desmond stole the jacket that went with Lauren’s catsuit from last night! Desmond, love your dancing, but that costuming is a HUGE whatthefuck to me. You didn’t let Cat dress you, did you?
Don’t try to blame me for that one!
More filler follows, this time it’s all about Step Up 3-D and how the final four got to go to the premiere.
They tell us they love it. Like they’d tell us if they thought it was a piece of crap. I’m certain that I predict how good or bad it is. I’ll say the dancing will be awesome; just look at the cast of dancers they’ve got in there! But the story and acting? That is sure to be hideous. Doesn’t matter to me. I don’t see these movies for Meryl Streep quality acting; I go to watch kick ass dance sequences.
Had enough filler? Too bad because there’s more coming your way! Flo Rida is here to perform his song from the movie backed up by Lauren G (natch), Kathryn, Courtney, Neil, Ade and Dominic.
Maybe something is wrong with me tonight, because I didn’t completely hate that performance either. I wonder if I have a fever or something? As we head into commercials, Cat tells him he smells lovely. Hee! I do love her.
It’s so hard to get that old geezer smell out of the set, but you’ve really done it!
Now it’s finally time to find out who the last dancer in the final three is going to be.
YOU SUCK, America!!
Seriously. Fucking Robert?!?!? WHY????? You know what, I’m not even that outraged because I just knew it was coming. I’m more disgusted than anything else.
I was talking to my mom about this outcome, and honestly, I’d have preferred for neither of them to be in the final three. I still think Billy should have made it there. I can’t believe I have to watch Robert yet again next week. I think I’m going to barf.
We get Adechike’s good bye montage, which thankfully has been edited to exclude all the crappy things the judges have said to him throughout the season. When it is over, Cat asks him how he feels right now.
Sorta like I got run over, Cat.
He says he feels great, that it has been an honor to be on the show amongst such fine artists. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just the beginning of his journey.
She wonders what he will remember the most. The homies, man. Cat says, “Who knew homies came from Wapakoneta?” Adechike: “They’re everywhere.” Love it!
This kid is a class act.
And there you have it, Gasmi. Lauren, Kent and Robert are the final three. I think it’ safe to say you all know how I feel about that, what do you think? Am I the only one that will be overjoyed to see this season end? Are you dreading how Nigel will fuck up Alex’s awesome hip hop with Twitch? This show has exhausted me this week. I need to go take a nap.