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NYC Prep is a new show on Bravo about four young women and two young men, all teenagers who are in high school. Five of them go to private school and one is a public school girl.
This sentence is exactly what happened. The audience knows this. So you have to color it with your opinion. Your Children of the Corn joke is really funny. Play on that.
Just as school lets out for the summer and us cranky adults start seeing kids everywhere we go all day long, Bravo brings us NYC Prep. For more of the little heathens. These are the rich kind, though, and as far as TV goes, there aren’t really many nice rich kids. Which can make for some good television. I’m in!
Now I’m not saying copy my style or words, I’m just saying your personality and smart assedness need to color every bit of information you write down. Inject your own life. Facts are secondary. Your personality is the most important thing.
She’ll become obvious as the show goes on. Not because she looks different, but believe me they definitely make a point of letting you know which kids have money and which kids don’t.
One thing is for sure, my high school years were never like this.
Cut that stuff. Just have a short sweet intro and then we’ll get to the facts in the recap.
Let’s meet our cast of characters, or lack of character in some cases. First up we have PC. That’s his name.
(Lack of character, LOL. This is funny. Now you have to lay on the computer jokes.) I hope he’s got some Norton Anti-Virus software installed, cuz living in New York as a young rich kid with Elvis hair can lead to viruses.
You can buy me for less than fifteen hundred bucks at Best Buy, or your mattress is free!
He is cute in a stuck-up pretentious and entitled way. He’s waiting to meet up with his friend Jessie. She is the only blonde girl on the show.
We don’t care that she’s the only blonde, and we see her blondness in the screen grab. This sounds like a boring ass scene, so just concentrate on what’s funny here. Short sweet and out.
He’s cute in that stuck up, pretentious entitled brat sort of way. He meets up with his friend Jessie to chat about getting into college and she says she doesn’t wanna have to pull any strings to get into a good school. If you got em, pull em, right? If you’re not going to take every advantage that comes with being rich, send that cash to me.
PC is 18, he was born and raised in NYC and lives in the Upper East Side (UES, not to be compared to UPS, which is not as fancy but certainly has better customer service). PC says that money flows like the wind and that people love to flash money around. If PC isn’t robbed at some point this season while flashing around his money, it’s more proof that life isn’t fair.
PC likes to walk around NYC with a photographer to capture his profile. He’s very hard on the photographers, but PC is wealthy and therefore entitled to torture anyone who works for him and/or his family.
Jessie is 17 and is also a senior and lives in the UES. She loves fashion and says she treats her clothing like children. I don’t know whether to feel worse for children or clothes. Jessie is assisted by her very only personal shopping slave. I hope that girl works on commission.
She gives some tips to us non-NYC’ers, don’t wear all your labels at once and mix-n-match is important. Um….
OK so does what I’m saying make any sense? I think that your humor is there, you just aren’t letting loose enough. Every single sentence has to be a joke of some kind. It doesn’t always have to be rude, but detailed. I think you are going to really develop well. Let me know what you think about all this, and please know that I am not trying to overwhelm you, just push you along a little. xo
Jessie meets with PC and tells him she is planning a fundraiser for Operation Smile and she asks PC if he knows what Operation Smile does. PC says he doesn’t want to talk about Operation Smile badly, but he will.
PC just rolls his eyes at her. Jessie tells PC “If you roll your eyes one more time, I’m going to slap you.” PC promptly rolls his eyes again.
OH PLEASE Jessie, let me slap him, pleaseeeeee.
Kelli’s parents live in the Hamptons in a huge house. They come to see their kids one night a week. They order take out. Tonight it’s Chinese. Kelli says she doesn’t have a curfew and likes the feeling of being independent and she is always out.
How does that conversation start when you say “Mom and Dad I want to move back to NYC, no don’t get up. I’ll go it alone.” Must be a whole different world out there, but back here in the boonies the answer to that is NO and go to your room and stay there until college.
A couple of nights later, Kelli is having dinner with her friends Taylor and Megan. Since Kelli has no parental units at home, she goes out every night for dinner. She has to there is no food at home. Kelli loves being independent which is funny because she seems very needy to me.
Then Sebastian comes in and is introduced to Kelli. Megan invited him to join them for dinner.
Sebastian’s hair is almost another character on this show. In fact, I’ve decided that I’m going to call him Hair Man. He spends a lot of time running his hand through his hair. Does he know you can go bald doing that?
With all of these kids dating each other they should be very careful about practicing safe sex so they don’t start passing STD’s around. It could ruin a college interview if you discover you have crabs while meeting with the admission committee. I don’t know if you can buy your way out of someone seeing you scratching your crotch in their office.
Right now I have two wishes. One that I was the person selling condoms to this guy and two, that I was the person selling mirrors to this guy. Methinks, he loves himself the most.
Next up we meet Camille. Camille is 17 years old and is a junior and lives on the Upper WEST Side. In case there is any doubt, Camille immediately tells us that her family is very wealthy. They are not “multi-billionaires”, but they are in the top 1/2 percentile. Camille likes saying percentile.
Camille goes out to brunch with her Mom. Camille’s Mom seems pretty driven too. She asks Camille to check on her SAT score. Even though Camille is still a junior, she took the SAT early. She says it’s hard to believe that one test could be the determination of whether you go to one school or another. If her score isn’t good enough I guess she’ll need to talk to Jessie about those strings.
Except for Jessie, these girls all kind of look alike. They are all about the same height and they all have long dark hair. It’s pretty hair and they play with it a lot. Playing with your hair works in your favor tol distract people until you think of something to say.
Finally we meet Taylor our last cast member. Taylor is a sophomore at one of the top public schools in the country. She says that everyone who graduates goes to Columbia, Harvard, Yale, etc.
Taylor is doing her homework she tells her Mom she is having a party at a Japanese Restaurant downtown. She is being kind of a brat when her Mom presses her for a guest list. I keep wondering where this little waif gets the cash to throw a party at any restaurant. Taylor tells us it is important to be perceived to have status. To this end, she invited both her private and her public school friends. Sounds like an oil and water situation to me so that means Bravo is paying the bill.
It’s the night of Taylor’s party and Camille seems uncomfortable to step outside of her comfort zone and go somewhere to meet kids who are not rich. This is just not the kind of party Camille throws. So she asks Kelli to go with her and Kelli says, do you think it’s ok if Hair Man comes too? Camille doesn’t see a problem. So it’s all decided.
Taylor’s party is in a Japanese restaurant downtown. Downtown in NYC is like the funky fun part of the city, at least it’s funky when you compare it to the Upper East Side. Taylor is dressed in a cute little black dresss with a gold wrap belt.
Kelli and Camille arrive and they are very nervous but that’s OK because Camille breaks the ice by asking the other guests “How did you guys get forced into being here?” Camille probably learned this in the same fancy schmancy manners classes that Theresa from the New Jersey Housewives attended.
Kelli is no longer happy she invited Hair Man. He will flirt with all of the girls in the room, he can’t help it, he is actually ruled by his side swept hair, just like that guy in the first Harry Potter movie who had Voldemort living in the back of his head.
Jessie has to finish shopping because PC is picking her up to go to an Art and Fashion Show. Jessie tells Zoe that PC is her ex-boyfriend, but now they are good friends. She tells Zoe that sometimes it’s weird if he is with other girls, but she still likes to hang out with him. She tells us that she can’t say “what if” for the rest of her life. If she were older and smarter she would not be saying “what if”, she would be saying thank God.
PC picks her up for the Art and Fashion Show. PC is complaining (bragging) that he got a text that says “Poor PC can charm the skin off the snake but one day he’ll get bitten by the creature.”
People with snakes immediately begin lining up in front of PC’s home hoping for the opportunity to see their snakes shed their skin and possibly bite PC. More on this story as it develops.
Almost immediately PC sees two girls that he knows. Jessie doesn’t know them and she tells PC she doesn’t want to meet any new kids. She already has her friends and she does not want to meet more.
At this point I should mention that Jessie is one jealous bitch. She is PC’s ex, but it is clear she doesn’t want to be the ex. When PC introduces Jessie to Kelli and Camille, Camille asks Jessie, “who do you know here?” Jessie doesn’t answer and instead says she is “turning the question back to you”. Camille and Kelli immediately begin digging through their purses for their guns. No way is this witch killing us without a fight.
PC is not upset by Jessie’s bad behavior and kind of likes the jealousy, he gets Kelli’s number (in case your keeping track, Kelli has already given her number to Hair Man and PC and we are just in the first episode). After PC gets the number, Jessie tells PC she wants to go. So PC apologizes and runs out the door with Jessie.
Before we know it, we are off to another breathless night in Hair Man’s life. He and his wing man Gabe, are meeting two new girls. They have a signal all worked out to figure out which girl Hair Man wants. Hair Man will flip his hair in the direction of the girl he likes best. Hair Man tells us that knowing French is a huge plus and that he is not into relationships. Except the relationship he has with his hair and the mirror.
Then Hair Man confesses to the camera that maybe when he’s 70 he’ll be in love. Oh Hair Man please, you know you will never love anyone as much as the guy in your mirror.
For some reason PC is wearing a T-shirt instead of his usual suit. This shirt looks awful, it’s ok for McD’s, but not a restaurant that looks fairly nice. It is wrinkled and it looks dirty. My guess is that PC is trying on a tough guy look. I would say this isn’t working.
PC is also having difficulty talking to Kelli and Camille. First, they both seem to talk back and that’s not something PC likes in a girl. But it’s not really PC’s fault that the don’t communicate well, PC clears this up for us by saying, “I’m a senior and they are juniors so there is definitely a lot they have to learn.”
PC goes on holding court with Kelli and Camille he asks “Do you guys smoke?” Then PC comments to the camera “They are like f***ing young bitches that have no idea what they’re talking about but I don’t want to say that.”
Yes you do PC, just spit it out before you go home and kick your cat.
Jessie asks PC how was your date with Kelli? He shrugs his shoulders. Jessie says “how about if I set you up with a skinny, tall brunette, someone you can have a conversation with?”
PC replies “I don’t want to date myself.”
Yes you do PC, you love yourself almost as much as Hair Man loves himself.
And this is where it gets good.
Jessie says that PC asked her to help him find someone to date. But when she offers someone or asks him who he wants to date, he becomes angry.
Jessie is pissed. Her face is all red and she is talking through clenched teeth. She looks kind of scary to me, but PC isn’t afraid. Neither was Ted Bundy.
Jessie says ” You threw a motherf***ing bottle of water at me, honestly I don’t need to be here right now. It’s not all about you.”
PC answers “IT IS!!.” Then PC says “can we make up please?” Jessie tells him “No, I think we’re done.” So PC explains to us that it’s not like he threw water on her. The cap was on it. She should have caught it.
Jessie tells him to grow up and leaves.
Then PC says something I never thought I would hear anyone say, he calls Jessie “a massive (C-word!)! ” I can’t believe he said it and if I’m wrong someone e-mail me, but I’ve watched it over and over and that’s what it looks like to me.
I bet Jessie would have smacked PC hard if she heard what he called her when she was just out of earshot. I bet that’s why he waited. Otherwise, she would have smacked that smug look off of his face.
Later PC calls Jessie from Columbus Circle. Jessie asks if he has a fanny pack like a tourist. PC apologizes and Jessie accepts. PC says it’s not like I got you wet or anything. They need each other to share the misery of their lives, so the fight was not destined to last long.
What a show. We’re already throwing things and being outwardly hostile and that’s just PC and Jessie.
Until next week kids.
Love and luck