Teen Mom 2: 100% Preventable…

Teen Mom

By Alejandra | Friday, March 11, 2011 | 4:00 pm | 36 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Teen Mom

Whoa, Guys.  Babies.  Should.  Not.  Have. Babies.  If this week taught me anything I didn’t already know…  Well, it didn’t, to be honest.  I, like most twentysomethings of unstable income and uncertain future, know very, VERY well that there is a time and a place for babies.  And it’s not when you’re still living at home.  But let’s just say this episode drove that point home so hard that I plan on marrying Jesus before I even think about procreating.  Until then, birth control birth control blowjobs birth control.

1TMMUFFINSHOPMembers Only Muffin Shop

This week started off benignly enough.  It’s been a week since Ali’s EmArAh, and Corey and Leah still don’t know anything.  But they did get her glasses in the mail, in case Ali needed another outward sign that she’s the fucked up one.

2TMALIGLASSESSome people think these are cute.  I wish I were one of them.

What I did think was cute was the fact that Ali obviously did have some vision problems because right after Leah puts the glasses on her, the baby’s able to high-five her daddy for the very first time.  Fist pump to that, my friends.  Fist pump to that.
Leah VOs that since her wedding is less than a month away (shotgun SHUCKED), she has to devote time to planning it in addition to worrying about Ali.  Later that day, Corey watches the girls (rocking the same cut off tank top Adam is so fond of, but for some reason bothers me much less), and she, Dawn, Victoria (Leah’s sister), Kayla (Leah’s dumbass friend), some girl who looks like Jenelle when she had that skunk do, and Donna, Corey’s BOMBSHELL mom.

3TMDONNA‘Cause Fancy was my name!

Leah tries on a few drop waist dresses, and Victoria and Dawn muse about how lovely she looks and how strange it is for their sister and daughter respectively to be getting married.  Leah couldn’t be happier or more content with the path her life has taken, and blissfully models each gown.  Then she finds it.  The exact dress I would pick – the most expensive.

4TMLEAHDRESSDoesn’t matter what it looks like, doesn’t matter how much cute cheap shit is around it, I will invariably fall in love with the most expensive item in any given store.  Goes for shoes, clothes, jewelry and produce.

Kayla keeps commenting on how pretty Leah looks in the dress before Dawn tells her to shut the fuck up.  Kayla’s confused, and Donna sweetly explains that it’s not that anyone doesn’t want Leah to have the dress, it’s just that somebody has to pay for it.  I call out to no one in particular that it sure as shit ain’t gonna be Kayla, so she should zip her stupid yap.  Which she does, so score one for Kayla.  Dawn and Donna (WHOA that is funny) meet up with Leah and Victoria in the dressing room, and Leah bites her nails and tells her mom that Dre$$ is the dress she wants.  Dawn tries to tell her that it really is too expensive considering all the other money the wedding is going to cost, and Donna agrees.  The moms also throw in the ole’ “This is a dress you’re only going to wear for one day, so… yeah.”  And I fucking hate that argument.  If the length of time one were going to wear a wedding outfit were the only concern in buying it, girls’d get married in trash bags.  IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT IT’S FOR ONE DAY.  Get married in a Goddamn peacoat if longevity is your first concern.

But then the sales associate says she’ll take 30% off and Leah smiles hopefully, and Dawn caves a cave that would make Randy proud.  Dre$$, she is Leah’s.

5TMDAWNALIEEEEEE!!!!  I love weddings!!

Onto less blissful, but more interesting pastures.  Jenelle and Kieffer sit on the beach and discuss how sucky it is that Barbara had the gall to kick Kieffer out of her house for smoking an illegal substance no less than 20 feet from an infant.  Kieffer shrugs that he guesses he’ll just go stay with his cousin.  Uh…?  Cousin?  You have a FUCKING COUSIN THAT YOU COULD CRASH WITH?  Wtf?  Does he have persistent Pinkeye?  Why the hell were you not staying there before?  Why was Mike’s Grandma’s beach house stop number one on your list of places to go???  That cousin had better live at least a two days walk and a three hour drive away for me to believe that it was just too impractical for you, Kieffer.  If not, I’ll be forced to believe that your cousin doesn’t want to be on such a trashy reality show and staying there would preclude you from being on TV.  Which, less face it, is pretty much the reason you’re here.

At any rate, that’s the decision he comes to, and Jenelle, in a surprise mature decision, decides to stay with her mother to be near Jace.  And MTV?  Your constant shots of Jace crying out the door after Jenelle are making me envision his future episode of “Intervention.”  Just an FYI.  Just to make sure his meal ticket to fame isn’t about to start waning in her affections, Kieffer asks Jenelle if she believes all the “bad stuff” Barbara says about him.  Of course Jenelle doesn’t.  Kieffer is nothing like her pot-smoking, flaky ass ex, Andrew.  After all, Andrew had a job.

6TMJENELLEANDREWThink about that.

Jenelle returns to Barbara’s house and announces that she’s staying for Jace, and not because she believes anything Barbara’s said about Kieffer.  Barbara compliments Jenelle on her decision-making skills, and with that, it’s off to South Dakota.  And guess what?  Things are shitty!

Since their “conversation” about Chelsea’s completely legitimate trust issues, she and Adam haven’t been getting along.  He’s grouchy and won’t take care of Aubree so Chelsea can “get ready and stuff.”  FYI, Folks, not all South Dakotans are this fucking inarticulate.  Anyway, same ol, same ol.  Adam’s a dick, Chelsea needs a friend to talk to about it.  Apparently Megan has realized what a shithead friend Cheslea is being, so it’s a Tiffany who comes over, with a baby Keyon (like neon, but with a K.  And a Y.).  Hilariously, the two mothers comment on what lovebirds their offspring will be, and as soon as Keyon is put next to her, Aubree makes out with him fiercely.

7TMAUBREEKEYON No lie.

Chelsea and Tiffany laugh at the babies until it’s time to discuss how unhappy Chelsea is.  Thankfully they do that for about 30 seconds before instead of actually discussing anything, they agree to set up a double date to go to the fair.  Because there’s no solution like a Band-Aid solution!

The babies make out some more, and Tiffany coos over how much they love each other.  Acting out a role she’ll play for the rest of Aubree’s life, Chelsea yanks the kid away and mutters, “Too much love.”  Ha!  Live and learn!

Later that day, Adam comes home, and he and Chelsea have some sort of discussion in which I think he grumbles a “yes” to the fair, but I’m not sure.  I was too preoccupied by this!

8TMCHELSEAPAINTINGHoly.  God.

Nothing more to say there.  I am rendered speechless by the black velvet Virgin Cheslea that MTV has not seen fit to shoot ONCE this season.

In Pennsylvania, Kailyn leaves Isaac with Suzi while she heads to meet Jo.  He’s called one of their parking lot meetings (mutual territory?), and Kailyn’s pretty sure he knows something’s up re: Jordan.  Whatever he knows, Kailyn VOs that she’s tired of lying to him, so she’s just going to tell him the truth regardless.  Why do I think that she did not get her stuff out of the Rivera house before she’s about to reveal a pretty good reason to get kicked out?  Oh, that’s right, because there were cops in last week’s preview.

Anywho…

Jo strolls up, cool as a cucumber, having obviously practiced his words and moves very precisely before coming.  He gazes up at the sun and comments, “Beautiful day isn’t it?”  Before Kailyn can respond, Jo blows his entire hapless wad when he cuts her off with, “You don’t deserve to be out in the sunlight.”  Kailyn’s about 80 times smarter than Jo will ever be so she just shakes her head and says, “What?” to his ridiculous attempted dickery.  Not to be swayed Jo muses that she should be in a cave.  I feel like Jo watches a lot of Disney, and that’s where most of his anger-fantasies about Kailyn live.

9TMJOSTUPIDA cave with a half-woman half-octopus who’ll steal your voice and turn you into a sea weed.  Whatchoo think about dat?

Wisely construing that now would be a bad time to make fun of Jo’s complete lack of game, Kailyn goes with her only other option, which is to tell him the truth.  It doesn’t go well.  Jo calls her a whore, tells her she’s not welcome in his house ever again, and then he breaks out the ghetto with, “I don’t even wanna catch you on my fucking block.”  Kailyn awesomely tells him that he doesn’t really have much say in that, and finally, Jo looooooses it.  It’s tough to keep your cool when the person you’re trying to intimidate stubbornly refuses to act like you’re intimidating.

Jo accuses her of not caring about Isaac and only caring about her boyfriend, calls her a whore some more, and then… leaves when Kailyn tells him to.  Seriously, that’s how it goes down. He yells at her until she’s tired of hearing it, she tells him to get the fuck out of her face and he does.  Immediately.  I fully here and understand the commenters who aren’t on the Kailyn train, but if you’re curious, it’s this kind of stuff that makes me love her.  She’s got more balls in her little finger than Jo does in his giant house.

10TMKAILYNDONTFUCKIt’s not a “don’t fuck with me” face, but… don’t fuck with her.

Commercial!

We return to North Carolina to find Jenelle loving living with Jace again, but still not sure how to work things out with her mom.  They have a talk on the porch.  Um, seriously, their conversation is almost word for word the same conversation they had in Episode Three.  Ground rules are laid, peace is established, and if you want more detail, check here.  I don’t mean to be lazy, but I can’t recap this train wreck twice.  I just can’t.  I will say that both women point out that they need to have a more positive relationship, and I wholeheartedly agree, even if I know this truce will last roughly 36 hours.

In West Virginia, Corey and Leah head to the hospital to get the results of Ali’s EmArAh, and…. It’s good!!  There is nothing NOTHING wrong with her spine!  AND Leah and Corey tell the resident that Ali’s made some progress, even though Corey has to bet Leah $5 that Ali can roll over from her stomach to her back.  Now, since there isn’t anything wrong with her spine, the doctor is pretty sure that it could be something genetic, and also, her legs and arms are disproportionate to her body.  But when Leah asks him whether or not Ali will walk, he says he sees no impediments.  Even though the kid is ridiculously far behind in development.

11TMDRAWFULNaw, her legs and arms aren’t the right size and she should have been holding herself up a month ago, but she’ll walk!  I guarantee it!

Leah picks up on the neurologist’s hackery, but she and Corey are too happy that there’s nothing wrong with Ali’s spine to focus much on it.  They vow to get a second opinion and head out to give the good news.  It’s so cute!  Like, half the family is there, and it’s awesome that Leah and Corey have such a great support system.

But enough cotton candy for me, time for rotten fish eggs.  South Dakota!  At the Fair!  Apparently Adam’s been ignoring Chelsea all day, but she hopes he’ll shape up in the evening.  Don’t worry, Chels, I know lots of boys who play mild-mannered assholes all day only to turn into avenging heroes at night.

Of course, the fair sucks, of course Adam doesn’t pay for his own ticket, of course he checks out another girl THAT HE HOOKED UP WITH, of course he insults Chelsea behind her back and to her face, of course he refuses to hold hands with Chelsea and of course the whole thing is one giant clusterfuck of awkward.  If you expected anything else, I’m not sure you can read.

12TMCHELSEAEat some fried mushrooms, Babe.  They always make me feel better.

In Pennsylvania, Kailyn talks to Jordan after her fight with Jo, and he advises her that even though she and her mother don’t get along, she doesn’t have anywhere else to go.  Kailyn calls Suzi, and the woman continues her upward trend and tells her daughter that it is perfectly fine.  Go Suzi!  Keep up the good work!

In North Carolina, Jenelle misses Kieffer, but she’s happy to spend time with Jace.  So happy, in fact, that she heads right out to the store with Jace breaking one of her mother’s cardinal rules.  THEN she doesn’t even take the carseat out of her car to hide what she did, so when Barbara comes home, there’s another blowout.  Jenelle MAY NOT take the baby out of the house without permission.  Jenelle knows, but did it anyway, and totally disregarded her mother’s rules.  I’m taking bets on whether Jenelle will move out this episode or just chuck it all and set up a tent for Kieffer in the backyard.

13TMJENELLESMARTEN

SMARTEN UP.

Back from commercial and onto Pennsylvania.  Suzi continues to confound me.  Kailyn goes to talk to her, and the once wayward mother listens kindly, gives good advice, and lets Kailyn stay for as long as she needs.  However, Suzi does lay down some minor ground rules about cleaning up, not being on the phone all night and general respect of space.  She’s calm, cool, collected and loving.  So yeah, massive improvement, but then I spot this:

14TMSUZINOSERINGYup, that’s a nose ring.

I just don’t know what to think.  Here’s hoping for the best!

In South Dakota after his spectacular and gentlemanly behavior at the fair, Adam ignores Chelsea when she asks him to put Aubree to bed.  When she asks again, Adam snits, “What are you gonna do, stand there and watch me?”  Chelsea rolls her eyes and rolls over, getting Aubree ready herself.  Then she decides to try and ask Adam for help again considering it worked so well the 478 times, but he refuses.  He also doesn’t want to go rent a movie like she suggests, but just stay in.  Chelsea whines some more, Adam calls her a bitch and it’s pretty standard fare.  The only thing that’s just a little different is that now I want to punch them both with exact same force.  Usually I want to punch Adam more.

In West Virginia, Leah sees the physical therapist who confirms that even though the EmArAh showed nothing wrong with Ali’s spine, there is definitely something wrong.

15TMDUH

Duh.

Leah is going to go through with the geneticist appointment that the neurologist set up for her, but she plans to get a second opinion on the EmArAh as well.  I completely agree.  After Dr. Nimrod was all, “Why the hell would you think she wouldn’t walk?  She’s only eight months old and barely able to turn around.  Calm down!” I’d be getting a second opinion, too.  Leah has the shittiest luck with doctors, though, so I’m not sure it’ll help.

In North Carolina, Jenelle’s a sad monkey that she hasn’t been able to smoke pot see Kieffer for  few days, so they meet up at the beach.  Kieffer’s fine, homesick.  He hasn’t been there in two years, and he misses his family.  Or they’ve just finally had enough time to cool off from whatever shit he pulled that got him to run away down south, and they’re ready to support him again.  Now what do you think Jenelle chose to do in this situation to help Kieffer with his situation?

Did she

a)    Hug him and tell him that she understands what it’s like to be cut off from family?
b)    Offer to take him to her school’s library so they could Skype or something?
c)    Offer to drive his ass to Jersey on a moment’s notice?

Oh, she c’d and you know it.  And if that weren’t enough to convince you that despite going to school and getting a job Jenelle still can’t make decisions for shit, she decides to lie to Barbara and say that there’s a concert in Myrtle Beach.  THEN she tells Kieffer that money won’t be an issue because if they run into trouble, they can use Barbara’s credit card!  Flawless plan, no?  Not only will the bank call Barbara’s ass the minute Jenelle swipes that Visa at a Jersey Chevron, Barbara probably has an alert on all the shit that gets charged to that card.  I’m shocked Jenelle has it in the first place or hasn’t tried to use it to buy weed yet.

16TMJENELLESIDEMOMFor the love of PETE.  Stop making me side with your mom!!!

In Pennsylvania, Junior is still miraculously taking Kailyn’s calls and agrees to watch Isaac while she goes to work.  Man, I want to know Junior’s story.  Kailyn VOs that she’s glad Junior’s still agreed to help, but she still needs to find a way to get her stuff from Jo.  Unfortunately, now that stuff includes Isaac.

As for Chelsea, if you watch the middle portion of her “16 and Pregnant,” you’ll have a pretty good idea of what’s going on with her and Adam.  He’s totally disrespecting her, she’s whining about it, he’s not coming home at night, she’s whining about it.  Chelsea’s grand plan to fix all this?  Have a talk.  I’d support that if the conversation was short and the beat down session was long.

In North Carolina, Jenelle continues her streak of genius stragery by attempting to sneak into Barbara’s house, grab her stuff and sneak out without Barbara knowing.  That’s all well and good, Doodlebug, but I have a feeling your mom’d notice when you didn’t return from school for three frigging days.  I’m cautiously assuming she wouldn’t think you fell asleep at the library.

But Jenelle’s plan doesn’t get that far.  Barbara catches her trying to sneak out of the house and there’s another screaming match.  Jenelle leaves anyway and she and Kieffer get on the road.  This is going to end with the police and a stolen credit card accusation, I just know it.

And finally the confrontation we’ve all been waiting for!

17TMJANETSUZIMost of me thinks Janet could eat Suzi for lunch in Momma Bear Deathmatch, but if that nose ring taught me anything it’s that Suzi’s a wildcard.

Apparently Jo texted Kailyn that until she pays him back the $600 she still owes him (oh, Kail.  Payments of like, $10 a week would have gone such a long way toward maintaining what little good faith you guys have…), she cannot get her stuff.  So she and Suzi have driven to the Rivera’s in an attempt to get it without having to pay money neither of them has.  Suzi tells Kailyn to wait in the car, and if the Rivera’s do not let her grab Kailyn’s stuff, the authorities will be called.  To do what?  Police can’t do shit in a situation like this, and I’d think someone like Suzi who’s lived in a motel, would know something like this.

Anyway, she goes inside to try, and things start out civilly enough between the two mothers until Suzi asks for some of Kailyn’s stuff and Janet decides now is the time to be on her son’s side.  She tells Suzi to ask Jo for the stuff, and of course, he refuses, attempting and failing to channel Eddie at every opportunity.  Eddie, who I assume is out of town for this bit, because I have a feeling he would not stand for this bullshit under his roof.  Suzi snaps that the banks are closed (and ATMs do not exist in this dimension), so what are they supposed to do.  Jo’s a little snitball some more, and Janet tries to reason with Suzi, telling her that Kailyn really “played him pretty dirty.”  Not really, Janet.  She did you wrong if anything, but Jo’s a piece of shit and I don’t blame Kailyn the tiniest bit for getting a better boyfriend.  Suzi walks out and calls the cops, and Jo prances around his house saying things like, “How you gonna come up in ma crib asking for s***, I ain’t gonna give you f***ing nothing… blah, blah, puff puff, blah.”  I feel so badly for Janet in this moment.

18TMJANETSLAP

She must want to slap the fake ghetto out of him so badly.  Lord knows I do.

The cops arrive, and of course, they can do absolutely nothing.  The problem of the clothes and the money is between Jo and Kailyn.  What the cops do do is reveal to Jo that since there is no formal custody agreement, Jo could keep Isaac indefinitely.  So now it’s not just the clothes Jo’s holding out of spite.  It’s his fucking kid.  I want to punch him in the mouth so.  Badly.

Suzi heads out to the car and Kailyn clarifies that even though Jo gave no deadline for the return of the money, now he “needs” it?  Suzi confirms and advises Kailyn to get custody papers and child support agreements drawn up, because Jo’s being an idiot so things are going to get ugly.  Like his face.

I will say that had Suzi gone in with a plan of, “Hey, here’s hundred dollars.  You’re an ass, but we’ll get this shit done with so we don’t have to deal with you anymore.”  I think then at least Janet would have pushed the situation a bit more.

Thank goodness that’s over because we get to go back to West Virginia!  Leah and Corey head to Corey’s parents house to talk about Ali’s health issues.  They’re going to a geneticist, having a second opinion on the EmArAh, and whatever.  The best part is when Corey decides to take up Leah on the $5 bet that Ali can roll over from her stomach to her back.  Corey grabs Ali from her walker calling her “Show baby,” and sets her on her stomach.  I can’t decide if this is sick or adorable.

19TMCOREYADORABLE!

Everyone cheers Ali on and she rolls over, winning Corey five bucks.  It’s so fucking cute I might die.

Ugh, back to South Dakota and “the talk.”  I cringed for the entire conversation.  Adam manages to accuse Chelsea of playing with Aubree all day and not working (infant care is a breeeeze), then he tells her that if she weren’t such a bitch, he wouldn’t have cheated on her the like, five times he did.  Then shit gets so ridiculous it’s hard to follow.  Let’s call it “Relationshipping with Adam”

1.     If you are a crazy bitch and “draw” your man away, he will cheat.
2.    If your man is not happy with you, he will cheat.
3.    Everybody cheats.
4.    Five times is not a lot.

With this grasp of logic it’s no wonder he doesn’t have a fucking job.  Then, in a shocking turn of events, Adam volunteers to end the relationship and find someplace else to live.  Things aren’t working out and he’s not going to live like “this” anymore.  Then he leaves.  Of his own free will.

20TMCHELSEA

I wonder if he knocked up a richer girl at some point during the last few weeks…

Chelsea’s shocked, but not sobbing, so that’s good. There’s another sad monkey montage of Kail driving away, Chelsea sitting by herself and Jace… in the sunlight sitting by the door.  It’s totally heartbreaking, and I hate Jenelle as much as I did in the first episode.  That, my friends, is a lot.

Watch next week when New Jersey blows up in her face.

About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

36 Comments

  1. 1
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    This comment is from last week’s episode, but I find it absolutely laughable that Chelsea is afraid for Adam to work in a restaurant because he’ll cheat. Uh, Chelsea? It’s not the workplace. It’s the guy. Adam could work in a restaurant, at an office, or as a park ranger…and would still cheat. I can’t take them anymore. Like, so over it I fast forward through their scenes. And that sucks because they’re the people that are from where I live and it’s fun to see familiar stuff on TV. Hey, Chelsea, you think going to the fair will get you out of a funk? Want to know a foolproof way to get out of your funk? Lose Adam!!! And he even got the last laugh. Appalling….

    Also, as much credit as I want to give Janet and Eddie for taking Kailyn in at first, I can’t look past the way they obviously coddle their son. The language he uses in itself as Janet just stands by is ridiculous.

  2. 2
    bananas
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    All this show makes me realize is that one out of every four men is a complete and total douche nozzle and makes me want to have my vagina sown shut to avoid ever reproducing with anyone like this!

    As for corey’s stupid tank top yeah it was ugly but one he doesn’t have the body of an anorexic 15 year old and also the fact that he is a good person cuts him a lot of slack on his lack of fashion sense.

  3. 3
    NinaD
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    I love how when Jo was talking to the cops he used the excuse that he was afraid that Kailyn would take Isaac for good if he gave her her stuff back. How does “You give me my money, I’ll give you your stuff” have anything to do with Isaac? I just can’t stand his self important ranting.

  4. 4
    sweetleaf
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    I have a different experience/ point of view/set of state laws re: Kailyn and her belongings. When I was 18, got an apt w/ a friend, she didn’t pay any bills, moved home with parents. I didn’t want to give her her belongings because she owed me money (like $500 or one month of her half of the bills, she wasn’t on lease, just an informal agreement), she called police, police came and said I do not have the right to keep her belongings, and made me let her in to get her stuff. They stated that I could take her to civil court for the debt, but can not hold her belongings ransom.
    Another issue- and this is a reflection of my job working in social services with victims of domestic violence in the criminal justice system- you can not just kick anyone out on the street without notice, once they have moved in- name on lease or not, minor, adult, relative, friend, doesn’t matter, you have to evict them like any one else with written notice. The police will not assist you to kick someone out without notice and probably a court order. ESPECIALLY domestic situations. ESPECIALLY because Jo and Kailyn are intimate partners ( have a child together, doesn’t matter if you are together or not) I can not believe the police wouldn’t let her get her things. Even when a partner has a restraining order against them the police will come and do a walk through to get any personal items (clothes, books, tools, etc) They say leave all that furniture you can go to civil court for that.
    SO I could NOT believe the police would not AT LEAST try to talk them into giving Kailyn her stuff- it was more like they were advising Jo and family NOT to give it up!And Kailyn was so right, the money wasn’t even due back yet, I heard Jo say in the parking lot scene that Kailyn had only been in school a couple of weeks- so she had most likely borrowed that money fairly recently.
    She was sooooo stupid not to get her child and her belongings BEFORE she told Jo about whatshisname- and to take the baby back over there right after the break up ( although I think junior is kind of awesome).

  5. 5
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    I agree with you sweetleaf. I know, at least in some jurisdictions, that it’s not legal to hold someone’s stuff because they owe you something (thanks, Judge Judy!), so naturally you’d think the police could do something. Of course, that’s where my “legal expertise” ends, so it could be one of those laws that doesn’t apply anywhere. Who knows.

  6. 6
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    *everywhere. Not anywhere.

  7. 7
    ElmStreet
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    My thoughts on Adam have graduated from “2×4″ to “2×4 with rusty nails”. Bet Chelsea wishes she had a great friend like Megan around to help her feel better, doesn’t she now?

    Through the whole throwdown with the Riveras and Suzi (which, btw, I thought Suzi was AWESOME throughout), the thing that pissed me off the most? Jo being totally fake ghetto … until the cops showed up, and he pulled up his pants and spoke like a kind ariculate young man. And then as soon as the cops walked out, Fake Ghetto Jo came right back out. UGH what a total turd. I can’t believe Janet didn’t say SOMETHING about his behavior towards Suzi during their argument, but then again, if Janet had been saying something from the get-go, Jo wouldn’t be the little shit he is today.

    I don’t hate Kailyn, but I don’t like her poor judgement. She was warned by Janet to not be stepping out while she was under their roof, so Kailyn can’t say she didn’t bring this on herself. Kailyn has moxie, she just doesn’t have foresight.

  8. 8
    Loula
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    I keep forgetting to tell you how great these are. There is an art to this shit! It’s a delicate balance, snark and humor and affection, and it would be pretty easy to take the lazy route with this show, but you totally get it. Kickass!

  9. 9
    Brattygrl
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Okay, on page one still, but had to stop to comment…Am I the only one who thinks Corey’s mother resembles Leah?! How creepy is that? Okay, back to the recap…

  10. 10
    Mrngstar
    Posted March 11, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    Did anyone else hear Adam call Aubree a turd? I was so disgusted!

  11. 11
    Marissa
    Posted March 12, 2011 at 1:12 am

    I love how Adam listed all this stuff Chelsea did that made him not want to stay around, then when Chelsea said “so I made you cheat?” his reply was “did I sat that?” No, you didn’t directly say that, but you made it pretty clear that you felt you had valid reason to because of things she did. Now Chelsea is probably going to sit around crying the next episode…awesome.

    Jennelle, whatever I give up after the credit card thing. This won’t blow up in her face at all. P.S. I read her US Weekly thing…change him? Funny stuff.

    Leah and Corey are them and they’re cute and I hope they soon figure out what’s going on because they really want to help their baby.

    Kail…ok she should have gotten her things first before attempting to tell him, she knew how he would act. I love how he wants to act tough, I’m sorry but I could beat him up. Also, I agree with sweetleaf, I don’t think you can withhold clothes and such because of lack of payment of something. You take them to civil court. Someone told me it takes 30 days of living there before you have to give notice you’re kicking someone out. Again, someone told me, this is not even from a court show. She’s been there since before Issac was born, so pretty sure there would have to be written notice. And Jo holding the baby is horrible and I feel bad for Issac, he’s going to see this one day and feel ashamed.

    Love your recaps Alej, been waiting all week for it :)

  12. 12
    mere2142
    Posted March 12, 2011 at 8:35 am

    In the last scene when they showed a close up of Aubree she was the spitting image of Randy. Much preferable to looking like the king of all douches that is her dad.

    Jo wins my most hated this week by a long shot. I kept yelling at my tv that Kail needs to show Janet the text messages her son sent and then maybe she wouldn’t have her back. I was super impressed with Suzi stepping up to the plate for her daughter. The way she’s been talking about I was thinking she would be like Caitlyn’s meth mom from last season.

    Oh Jenelle – each week I try to be on your side and every single week you erase all the good will I’ve built up for you.

  13. 13
    Lisa
    Posted March 12, 2011 at 10:48 am

    hopefully, now that this show has aired, someone has advised Kailyn about her rights. Jo is hideous and I hope Janet feels bad after seeing him on this show.
    someone else who’s hideous? Adam! He is the ultimate douche by always turning every point that Chelsea makes around to try and make HER look like the douche. Yeah, she’s lazy, but Dude! You’re lazy and a leech!

  14. 14
    Lisa
    Posted March 12, 2011 at 10:59 am

    Adam only moved in with Chelsea in the hopes that he wouldn’t have to pay child support any longer. When it became apparent that he would have to pay child support and rent, he moved out.

  15. 15
    iamrufus
    Posted March 12, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    love your recaps!

    while i do think jo behaved childish toward kail and definitely shouldnt have used the foul language he did, i did kind of see his point in getting upset. his parents did tell her not to have a boyfriend when she was under their roof and she chose not to respect that so she shouldn’t have been shocked when she was told to leave. not to mention the sneaking around, lying, staying out late instead of putting her son to bed…she’s not a saint either. i would want my money back as well, he didn’t have to give it to her in the first place. and if she left with her stuff he might never get it back, trust me i’ve been in THAT situation. just saying, not defending his behavior or language, but i do understand his frustration. he’s just too immature to know how to handle that situation better. maybe his parents are to blame for some of that, we don’t really know.

    also, i’m unclear on how it works so maybe someone can clear this up: do you have to pay child support if you are living WITH the child? i didn’t think so, but maybe i’m wrong.

  16. 16
    sweetleaf
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Yeah I don’t get that whole, pay child support AND rent thing either. Jeez, dude WAS probably thinking- well, if I have to pay child support, it may benefit me better to live in the home with my child. Then to be told no- pay child support AND rent – would be very frustrating for anyone, and not right.
    Maybe he should pay more overall then the amount of the child support( half of the bills is always going to be more than the court ordered child support payment- especially if dude works min wage) , but the way they ( Chels and Dad)put it to him , was not conducive to maintaining a family unit- that wouldn’t fly in any home.
    Score Dad!He had already formed his opinion on t-shirt rag dude, so obviously he wasn’t interested in helping them out as a family, but how to keep dude and outsider. Good for him! That dude is a creep.
    Chels doesn’t want to him to work with women ( waitresses specifically) b/c she can’t trust him?!?! Wow she really needs to get real. Honey there’s a whole world of women out there and the smart ones can’t stand your man (re:megan).Sad.

  17. 17
    Tmurda
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Just a few thoughts.
    1) Jo looks like a dinosaur.
    2) THE ONLY REASON jo lent kail the money is because he KNEW there would come a day that he could hold it over kail’s head. And here it is
    3) Jo and kail made no written contract/agreement about when he’d be paid back, therefore he DEF can’t hold her shit for nonpayment.
    4) Kail NEVER smiles, and it makes me sad.
    5) Chels needs deep conditioner STAT
    6) The fact that ali’s emarah came back “normal”, but doc clearly is a bullshitter doesn’t stop the couple from celebrating the results? Confusing? I would be just as devestated by the fact that ali prob has a disorder of some kind. Love Leah and Cor anyway.
    7) Jennelle is gonna give barb a heart attack, and then she will finally be forced to take care of jace. Hope she’s ready for it.
    8) How does Adam get laid, anyway? Is he considered hot to his agegroup, and why?

  18. 18
    Ollybeau
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Did anyone esle notice the shoddy job Jenelle did installing Jace’s car seat?
    It looked like Barbara was able to easily lift it out of the car, barely unstrapping a thing. The thing clearly wasn’t in very tight.
    Just another example of Jenelle’s dire lack of good judgement.

  19. 19
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    iamrufus…i would give the point about Jo and Kailyn more weight if he hadn’t been a coddled little asshole the whole time. But he was. Even on 16 and Pregnant, and she want disrespecting anything then.

  20. 20
    Brattygrl
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    I totally think it was okay to expect Adam to continue to pay child support even though he was living with them! Sorry, byt Adam doesn’t strike me as the type of father to voluntarily go buy diapers if the baby needs them. So, he should still be paying to support the child & $300/mo for rent and utilities is damn cheap living! I don’t think he’ll find anything cheaper unless he can live at home with his parents for free.

  21. 21
    Samanthadk
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    The girl that Adam cheated on Chelsea with (the one that worked at the restaurant with him) is deployed with my boyfriend. I thought that was kinda funny. Haha

  22. 22
    Lindsey
    Posted March 13, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    When I had my first son, my boyfriend had to pay child support even though we lived together and had a joint checking account. He had to pay until we got married. So basically the money would come out of our account at the beginning of the month and a couple days later be put back in. We actually had a really hard time after we were married getting them to stop taking the child support payments out. Maybe it is different there though.

    I didn’t think it was legal for Jo to hold Kailyn’s stuff until she paid him. I don’t think it is here. He would have to take her to civil court for the money but he couldn’t legally hold her stuff, the cops here would have walked her through the house and helped her collect everything. Again maybe it is just Ohio.

    Watching this show makes me sad. I mean, these girls make such bad decisions. I was a teen mom and I just don’t understand how Jenelle can feel ok with just leaving Jace all the time. I think Chelsea, Kailyn, and Leah are good mothers, they obviously care about their kids very much, but when I look at some of their other decisions I can’t help but think, my God haven’t you grown up at all since you had a child?

    I have come around to Kailyn though. I still think she can be a bit of a brat, but I like her heaps better than I used to. At least she is trying to make a better life for Isaac. I can respect that. Jo is being ridiculous. I like Chelsea, but I cringe when her segment comes on. I think she would be a very likeable person, but she is such a freaking doormat. It makes me mad because I see my relationship with my ex husband in her relationship with Adam and so I just end of yelling at the screen that he will never change. Poor girl though, I think she has good intentions but she also has to lose her fantasies of the “perfect” little family.

    I love Leah and Corey. I sympathize with them because it is crazy hard having special needs children. My children have Asperger’s syndrome and the diagnosis process for it has been brutal. You never want to think something is wrong with your child and when it is your first child, it is hard to know what is normal or not. I mean we can look at Ali’s legs and see that something is wrong, but I am sure that it wasn’t that noticeable until she started not hitting her milestones at the same pace as her sister. It is really easy to just convince yourself nothing is wrong, eventually though it catches up to you and you have to face facts. I really hope they find out what is going on with her, because even though the initial diagnosis might be hard to hear, at least then they can figure out what the best ways to help her are.

  23. 23
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 12:49 am

    My Gramma had a day care center when I was young and two of the kids there had legs similar to Ali’s. One child, a little girl, had her legs broken by a doctor and then straightened out with casts. The other child, a little boy, wore saddle shoes with a metal bar connecting them at the soles, insuring his feet and legs would be kept straight while he wore the shoes. Each child ended up with straight feet. Of course, this was in the ’80′s in NYC so I’m not sure what method doctors would employ now. But hopefully, for Ali’s sake, her condition is treatable. It still seems as if she may learn to walk, so maybe she’ll just be a bit pigeontoed? My cousin was severely pigeontoed as a child and it corrected itself later and she went on to be really good at sports, even making the varsity basketball team. I sure hope that whatever Ali’s setbacks may be, she can go on to lead a normal, productive life.

    @Lindsay: I just read a great book narrated by a child with autism. It’s called The Curious Incident of The Night-Time Dog, and the protagonist had difficulties with relating to people, but was able to overcome many of them because of the love and support of his family, helping him prosper in the things he was strongest at. (In his case, math). A great book (a mystery!), recommended for those who want a great read, and even more for those who believe that autism means a child can never excel in life.

  24. 24
    HereGoHellCome
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 6:39 am

    @ Sarcas – I loved that book! I highly recommend it also!

  25. 25
    Flippy Floppy
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Anyone else ever notice how young Corey’s dad looks?

    I would love to see Chelsea go all Amber Portwood on Adam’s ass. I also loved that Chelsea and her fair friend had matching skunk hair.

  26. 26
    katydid
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 10:50 am

    For some reason, Kail reminds me of Eeyore. She’s always so glum, and nothing ever works out for her. Then again, even though Jo is a major douche, she does bring some of this stuff on herself.

  27. 27
    Lindsey
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 11:19 am

    @sarcasatire Yeah I loved that book too! I read it before my kids were diagnosed (and my kids are on the higher functioning side of things, most people can’t tell they have any sort of problem). I thought the author did an amazing job though, it is a book I recommend to a lot of people too :)

  28. 28
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    I think everyone is right about Kail. People laugh at me for watching Judge Judy (everyday…don’t judge), but if Kail or her mother had taken the time to watch the show they would have know what we all know about keeping someone’s stuff whether they owe you money or not.

  29. 29
    Terrence
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    You know just when I’m starting to cheer for Jenelle she does something else that’s stupid. Taking mom’s credit card and lying about going to Myrtle Beach certainly won’t blow up in her face. Ha! Can’t wait until tomorrow.

  30. 30
    dtc
    Posted March 14, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    My problem with Kail isn’t that her situation with Joe because I think Joe is an a$$. I have a problem with Kail because I just think she was incredibly disrespectful of the people that supported her financially while she was living in their house. She had the worst attitude when speaking to Janet and Eddie and she also went behind their backs to date someone when they asked her not to. If Jordan really cared about Kail he would have understood if she told him that she wanted to wait to date anyone until she got on her own two feet financially (or at least to a point that she could move out of Janet’s house). I mean seriously in Kail’s situation the last thing she needed to worry about was dating anyone. Also, I know everyone is talkinga about Kail’s mother and how she’s stepping up but has there been anything to show that she was a bad mom to beging with. I remember Kail saying that she and her mom didn’t get along and I know her mom had a hard time financially but the part about Kail not being able to live with her all this time might be because of Kail. Maybe Kail was a rebellious kid and left her mom’s by her own choice. She hasn’t shown the most maturity in her choices and she’s definitely shown that she can have a rebellious, bratty attitude so is it possible that her not living with her mom is a result of that rather than her mother being a bad parent? Also, I still haven’t seen that she spends alot of time with her kid…between two jobs, a boyfried and school when does she see that kid? Another thing is that I find it strange that everyone assumes that Kail can sue Joe for child support when technically Joe is within his rights to keep the baby and sue Kail for child support. I mean he does have just as much rights as Kail does in the parenthood department I would hate to see what kind of language the kid would grow up using since his dad has such a fould mouth but Janet and Eddie seem to be stable.

    Jenelle continues to make me shake my head. That girl is definitely not ready to be a parent by any means. Barbara was right to take custody, I would be scared for that poor baby to spend too much time with Jenelle unsupervised. Barbara may scream around alot but I can’t say I wouldn’t lose it every once in a while if I had to put up with Jenelle.

    Can’t say much about Chelsea because she is beyone comprehension and needs some serious self-esteem counseling and maybe other testing to see what in the world is wrong with her.
    Still love Leah and Corey. :)

  31. 31
    sheesh
    Posted March 15, 2011 at 9:48 am

    My youngest son came to visit me from college and he laughed at something I said. I looked at him and said, “You look and sound exactly like your father did when he was your age!” We both smiled at that. I met my kids father in college and I was glad that my son’s smile and laugh took me back to great memories instead of pain or worse.

    Even though we are divorced we always maintained a civil relationship with each other.

    I wonder how Kail, Janelle, and Chelsea will react in 19 to 20 years when their child does the most minute thing that reminds them of the man they made their child with.
    I am so sad for those kids.

  32. 32
    IMsarah
    Posted March 15, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    @dtc If I remember correctly Kail’s mom was living in a hotel with her boyfriend during her 6 and pregnant episode. Not exactly perfect living situations for a pregnant 17 year old. Im pretty sure she didnt just up and leave her mother’s home because she was rebellious like you think. Also her mom practically pushed her away even when they did spend time together. To quote Suzi in the 16 and pregnant episode “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so let me leave!” Yeah, Kail definitly left because she was “rebellious”. As much as she brings on some of it herself, Kail was delt a pretty shitty hand and im pretty sure the situations that lead up to her living with Jo were not brought upon by herself.

  33. 33
    HWFan623
    Posted March 16, 2011 at 3:15 am

    I get both sides of the Jo/Kailyn thing. Not his behavior, Jo is an ass douchenozzle all of that. But some of you were saying how could Janet and Eddie let him talk to her like that and I doubt they let that slide, they probably had some words for her that either didn’t make the cut or were off.

    Watching her 16 and Pregnant episode they reprimanded Jo for not being understanding of where she was coming from and really got on hi for his “her decision to keep the baby” comment. They were a 100% on her side the whole side about his neglect and abuse. They pretty much tell not to come back home if he’s not going to fix things with Kail so I feel they are getting unnecessary abuse and blame in this situation.
    I watch a lot of 16 and Pregnant, and they were far and away the best of the families. Kailyn kept referring to Janet as her other mom.

    It’s unfortunate that it ended so badly

    Again Jo is a douche. But Kailyn is pretty ungrateful at this point and I understand why, she hates living with Jo and wants to start her life away with him but she handles it wrong.

  34. 34
    Bre
    Posted March 17, 2011 at 3:28 am

    I can’t believe how many people are sticking up for Janet. She raised her son to be a little ghetto-talking punk. They are trash. None of them has a command of the English language and Jo will end up gang-banging due to being parented by two wine-guzzling ghetto stars!

  35. 35
    sardini
    Posted March 17, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    @katydid – YES!!! Kailyn is totally Eeyore!

  36. 36
    Bobbi Jo Woods
    Posted March 27, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    @dtc – IMsarah is right about Kail’s mom, Suzi – she was pretty much starting a new life after she found a boyfriend, and was living in a hotel w/him (not sure/don’t recall what ever happened to Kail’s dad that he was not in the picture)…But prior to that, (in Kail’s 16 and Pregnant ep), it showed how Suzi was HOMELESS and living in her car because she lost her job and her place. Kail mentioned a few times in VO’s before Isaac was born how she thought her mom wasn’t really trying hard enough to get her life back together. Although MTV showed Suzi a few times driving around with Kail doing things, it was pretty clear that she wasn’t trying that hard and really did not seem to care very much about Kail’s situation.

    That’s when Kail had to move in with the Riveras (Janet and Eddie, Jo/Jonathan’s parents). They tell Kail they will help with anything they can. And soon after, Jo’s parents tell Kail she can pick out a crib and stuff for Jo and Kail’s room before the baby arrives, and they have a budget she should try to stick to. So Kail goes to look at cribs with Suzi, and they go back to Janet and Eddie and tell them how much it is, and the one she and (mostly Suzi) want is twice the stated budget. Then Suzi acts like she’s in a big hurry to leave and it’s a continual theme – Kail calls Suzi on the phone or visits her and she’s all acting like she doesn’t have the time of day for her own daughter…just a couple of examples of how Suzi and the Riveras stack up to one another.

    I think Kail got a bit spoiled with Janet and Eddie letting her basically do anything she wants and perhaps started to take it all for granted, which is why it seemed so easy for her to go back to Jordan and be sneaky about it. While I like Kail and think she’s smart, loves her son and has a good head on her shoulders, this is her downfall. Jo’s parents coddled her just like they do their cholo asshole of a son, and they wonder why she did what she did? They’re both still just teens, I get that. And I get that Kail deserves to have friends, especially positive male attention which she seeks from Jordan, who seems like a nice young man from what I’ve seen in how he treats her…it’s hard to tell if they did more than kiss, but for the most part, it appeared to be a harmless thing because they were always doing friend-type activities (arcade games, rock climbing, casual dinner, etc.). So for her VOs in which she talks about him as a boyfriend, that confused me.

    Suzi finally found a job and got her own place, though near the beginning of Teen Mom 2, which is why we get to see Alejandra cheer whenever Suzi does something to redeem herself :)

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.